And that's how the entire village got herpes.

Why does he recognize that taste?

What is the name of the flaming skull god with stakes in the eyes?

ALways forget the name

>>88342940
Sithrak
>>88342923
Because he's tasted it before duh.

>>88342940
Shitrak

>>88342923
It's Oglaf, why wouldn't he

>>88342923
You wouldn't believe the number of women who think guys taste their own jizz.

>>88343069
Is that a thing? I masturbate twice a day and I have never felt compelled to taste my own jizz.

>>88343069
You wouldn't believe the number of guys that do.

>>88342977
Sounds better.

>>88343102
No clue if its a thing. But

>Rant
one thing I do is ask chicks I bang how my jizz tastes as it lets me know just how little pineapple juice I can get away with drinking. Most common question I get in response is why don't I just taste it myself.

Women just see nothing wrong with it and have no problem tasting themselves either. I don't get it but not going to argue with a chick who is willing to swallow.

>>88343069
I did in like, 8th grade.
I was an inquisitive mind, and wanted to know.
Worked out in the end because I knew I never wanted to do it again, cementing my sexuality.

>>88343069
>wasting your jizz
Good luck keeping gains with all the protein and vitamins you lose.

>>88344918
>Current year
>Still giving in to the ejaculation jew.

The true key is never shoot in the first place. Only then can you transcend into multiple full body orgasims and maintain your gains.

>>88344918
>>88346451
Goddamit Chris

>>88343278
Why do you have a problem with it? Honestly I think it's pretty fucking gay to not even by willing to check what your own jizz tastes like.

>>88343278
It's not gay tasting your own product

>>88343778
Sooooo what it taste like?

>>88347538
I dunno, salty? It's been like, a decade, I don't remember all the details.

>>88347538
nothing, vaguely salty, sometimes it vaguely tastes like nuts.
after a handful of times you get used to the chlorine smell and you don't smell it anymore.

>>88343069
JISM. The stuff women make. That term's been around since the 70's. Jizz is a less-than-15 years-old term for what guys make. Kids don't know shit these days...

>>88347654
u wot m8

>>88343069
>>88343278
Uh? Except in the comic's case, it's the taste of pussy he recognise, nor dick.

>>88347654
>Kids don't know shit these days...
>kids
Welp, I'd say it's for the best.

>>88347654
>>88347827
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jism

>>88347538
Bitter to bittersweet depending on the diet, slightly salty if you eat a lot of salt. Has a strange, almost chemical smell, quite faint. The taste is overall OK, you can even imagine some dumb health drink tasting like that, the bad part is that is has the consistency of something in-between cream and egg white.

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>>88348052
>The taste is overall OK
Wrong answer, anon.

>>88348052
The best way to describe the smell is a cross between a chlorinated pool smell and chestnut flowers.

>>88348106
This nigga here has really put hard work into thinking about how to describe jizz

Dear Oglaf creators,
Please, next week make a comic about men who try to fellate themselves, so /co/ can make a thread about their experiences.
Love,
anon

>>88348096
It's literally protein, vitamins and prostate fluid which tends to have trace tastes of your diet. That's it.

>>88348170
Honestly I wouldn't recommend trying it. It's like a step you can't untake. If you know you can do that, you ALWAYS know you can do that. Y'know?

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>>88342923
>not tasting your own

>>88347889
Nice try Webster, I'm not signing up for anything.

>>88348170
Could do it as a tween, even though I was just 4,5'' inches long then. Any possible pleasure was completely ruined by how uncomfortable I was having to bend like that so I only ever did it 5 or so times. I'm 6'' now, but I can't get nowhere close — my elasticity is gone.

>>88348182
Good, now you have another reason to eat cock everyday!

>>88348296
See pic in >>88348096

>>88348296
Weirdly I could only suck my own dick from May 2003 through to January 2004. Before and after that, no luck.

>>88347538
want to find out?

>>88348096
>>88348318
>implying you can possibly do something "gay" on your own
Unless you classify masturbation as homosexual behavior, no dice.

>>88348442
If there's a dick in your mouth, it's gay. Doesn't matter whose dick it is.

>>88348600
Gee, what a black and white outlook on sexuality. Here's a thought for you: the same blood that flows trough your cock, balls and anus also flows trough your eyes, brain and tongue.

>>88348600
Yeah, and if you touch a dick, that's gay too. Pretty much 99% of men go into the bathroom normal and come out faggots.

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>>88348347
That's one awfully specific timeframe, anon

>>88348770
Then there's the one percent that straddle the urinals.

>>88349142
True, red-blooded, all-American heterosexuals.

>>88348600
What if the mouth belong to a woman?

>>88348943
Yeah I don't really understand it either.

>>88349282
Nothing is more sickeningly faggoty than a woman's mouth on a MAN'S cock.

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>>88349282
>Letting a woman touch my dick

>>88346451
/nofap/ december going strong

>>88344918
By that reasoning the key to gains is sucking cock.

>>88350319
And now you understand /fit/.

>>88350904
Also, I understand my gains.

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>>88351096
And I understand why women crave my essence.

>>88351096
Good luck in your dick sucking goals of 2017.

>>88350904
>>88351144

This is tantra in a nutshell. The basic idea behind that being women essence suckers who will do anything to drain the sweet, sweet, jizz out of a young male. Men in turn must defend themselves by never ejaculating until they find their one true partner. Ideally women gain the most when they swallow while men are at their strongest when they nut inside.

In the meantime to keep from going crazy they learn how to edge and ejaculate into themselves. This results supposedly in a longer fuller, life, lasting forever in bed, and being able to have multiple orgasms.

And as for taste, its about diet. Drink/eat more citrus if you taste salty. Pineapple juice is the fastest way to make the taste sweeter. It also lowers that cholrie smell as well.

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>what /co/ will be like tomorrow.

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>>88346665
>not wanting to taste jizz means you're gay

whatthefuckamireading.gif

Also, thread relevant cookbook.

>>88351400
Hi Sim.

>>88351602
It will be like pineapples, anon.

in the first place, I don't understand what people think is so gay about sucking dick

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>>88347654
>12 year old detected
"jizz" as a synonym for male ejaculate was used in the crumbling late 70's porn mags I had hidden in the late 80's as a teen, and in mid 90's internet erotica.

>>88352219
No one thought of telling George Lucas?
>the music band at Jabba's playing jizz.webm

>>88351602
Is this guy doing some kind of highschool math problem?

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>>88351803
I don't get it

>>88351602
Toppest of keks

>>88347538
Its nowhere near as bad as you imagine it to be, was almost able to suck myself off at one point in time so took quite a few of my loads. It's a bit salty, bitter-sweet depending on diet, but no matter what, a fairly shitty after taste and made my throat sore every time, one of the contributing factors to the 'almost'.

Sure is comics and cartoons in here.

>>88351400
And then you go bonkers and launch a first strike.

>>88351233
Thanks!

All this shit about tasting your own jizz being gay is stupid. We're not approaching this the right way:
What's the difference between tasting your jizz and tasting other secretions, like, a booger you just digged out of your nose?

>>88354028
You shouldn't do either, faggot.

>>88354028
MOOOODS
ANON IS SAYING GROSS THINGS AGAIN

>>88354028
It's different. Tasting your own jizz is gay, tasting your boogers is retarded.

>>88354679
>tfw gay and retarded

All this tasting yourself stuff reminds me of one freaky thing I did after I broke my arm. I got a cast on the arm for a long time. When the cast was removed all the skin along my forearm was dead, like white and flaky?

Just before I had my first shower with the cast off for some reason I decided to eat the skin, so I slowly moved my tongue up and down my forearm collecting the flakes of dead skin. It all built up in this gelatinous mass in my mouth, it was all just gelled together from these wet strokes of my tongue. It was pretty gross. Chewing on it was, I dunno, I haven't found anything with the same texture ever.

>>88354781
Thank you for sharing.

>>88354781
As someone who used to bite their nails into oblivion, dead skin had a really odd, chewey texture.

There's zero reason to do it, but it is indeed a thing.

>>88354028
One gives you more resistance for eating dead bacteria the other one makes you gay learn the difference you faggot

>>88354843
I used to bite the skin around the nails a lot. Skin got callused from it.

>>88352273
George Lucas originally wanted to write Indiana Jones to be an implied pedophile

Jizz is obviously deliberate, from the sick and retarded mind of George Lucas

>>88355011
Wow, you don't say?
> *Dodges point blank gunfire*
> *Shoots second*
Pssh... you're 200 years too young to best me... Kid...

>>88344918
Oh noes, 2 whole grams of protein, down the tubes.

>>88354028
Let's just say I've never seen a /hm/ thread about men eating one another's snot.

>spitting threads
oh wait yes I have. Cary on.

how does oglaf continue to be so good after all these years when other webcomics quickly turned to shit?

>>88355512
The same way a couple keeps sex interesting after 59+ years.

In the dark.
Missionary position
For the purpose of dried up procreation.

>>88355607
Do most people even bother after 59+ years?
I nailvely thought that they kinda switch to handholding and doting over their granchildren.

>>88355857
You don't want to know about the spread of venereal diseases at old folks homes. Brothels are clean places by comparison.

>>88355857
Anon, old people fuck like goddamn rabbits

>>88355857
Google old people and STDs, you're in for a treat.

>>88355955
>>88355983
>>88356020
I did not need this mental image at all.
Thanks I guess.

>>88356105
the Bob's Burgers episodes with the grandparents are very accurate.

>>88343069

I have. It was slightly unpleasant, but not terrible. If I were sucking cock I'd swallow, but I'd keep a water bottle on hand to wash it down.

Of course, it all depends on your diet anyway, so I only know how my own tastes.

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>>88348600

By that logic, wouldn't giving yourself a handjob make you gay?

>>88357060
That's why hetero straight men have a handy box of surgical gloves for appropriate masturbation.

>>88351803

No, he's referring to Dr. Strangelove. You know, the movie that >>88351144 is from?

>>88354028

I don't expect anyone to have a reason to taste my boogers.

>>88355150
>200 years too young to best me
>>>/a/

>>88343069
>>88343778
>>88348096

I would say "and?", but then I realised most people here are edgy fat women

>>88343069
I mean, I've accidentally come on my face a few times, but not in my mouth.

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>>88358468
The fuck did you pull that off?

And what do I need to do to cum that strong.

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>>88358468
>I've accidentally come on my face a few times

You got some strong shooting there, anon

How do I get like that

>>88358563
Wank lying down, after not doing so for a few days...

>>88357097
By that logic, ramming your dick up a man's arse is straight as long as you use a condom?

>>88358999
Yes? This is why the government released HIV, to get rid of faggots.

>>88354028
I believe it ain't gay as long as you can ejaculate directly into your own mouth. If you gotta scoop it up after you come, then it's so much effort that it's gay.

>>88359214
This is something I wouldn't be surprised to read in Oglaf as a set up for the joke.
What's the punchline?

>>88358620
>>88358772

This webcomic just keeps delivering.

>>88359289
Protagonist can't ejaculate strongly enough, it's only a sad dribble. In order to fully come inside his own mouth, he climbs to the top of a tower and casts a quickness spell on himself, so he can climb down the tower and position his mouth at the bottom faster than his load of cum can fall.

Halfways through he trips and cum lands on his own head/head of mistress that just entered the room/falls into his butt making him gay anyway.

>>88359374
And even if he wouldn't have tripped, climbing up the tower and casting the spell would be enough effort to make it gay anyway.

>>88359472
That's actually a good enough punchline, can imagine a guard or whatever saying it.

There, now we just need a drawfag.

This whole thread is pretty gay.

>>88355011
Well, that certainly made my first OTP less weird.

>>88357097
a latex glove with a drop of lotion in it, inserted into a partially rolled up sock is the patrician jerk off method

>>88361869
When I was a teenager I'd jerk off and just before climaxing i'd grab the tip of my dick, closing it and blocking the semen from coming out. Then I'd walk to the bathroom and let it out on the toilet.

>>88361932
That's a normal thing to do.

R-right?

>>88362524
I heard it can damage the prostate so I stopped doing but whatever floats your boat, mate.

>>88348170
Try fucking reading the comic, you shitpleb, it exists.

>>88362524
I just jerked into a cup and fed it to my little sisters when I was tasked with cooking for them.

>>88362621
I read that hentai too.

>>88358772
Alternatively wank for several hours without reaching conclusion.

I've straight shot over my head sitting against the back of the tub before.

>>88358468
nice shootin' there Tex

>>88343069
I tasted it. A few people have tasted my semen, so I figured why not. It's not like its something I can never come back from, but I probably won't do it again

>>88354028

What's the difference between swallowing your own jizz and swallowing your own spit? Both are just natural secretions.

>>88348668
>t. Homo

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>>88348668
>the same blood that flows trough your cock, balls and anus also flows trough your eyes, brain and tongue.

>>88358772
The distance and force never increased when I could only fap on the weekends, only the volume.
5 days without and I'm blowing a load like a small puddle. There's no pleasure in that either, at least not for me; it's more like when you're trying to pee while hard and it burns a little coming out.
Though that's better than being hard all the fucking time with aching balls.
I have to fap at least daily to not be like that.

I wonder if the person who makes Oglaf ever browses these threads and gets ideas from what we talk about.

>>88342872
unfunny garbage

>>88348668
No blood in your brain anon

>>88347538
Sour pennies

>>88347538
its like a different version of mucus/phlegm. More of a texture and consistency than a taste

>>88348668
So does that mean my brain is being infected by my cock and ass juices? That's a brilliant excuse for when I do stupid things, thanks.

>>88343069
why wouldn't you?
you sound kinda insecure and boring senpai

>>88364944
>USA-ian education
The brain has a capillary system connected to each cell. Otherwise it would just fucking rot.

>>88366169
>More of a texture and consistency than a taste
I came to post this. It's not really unpleasant but somewhat unsettling.

No one can beat the cock. Not even another man. Not even shock therapy.

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>>88367127
>No one can beat The Cock

Wrestling Porn Parody now, please.

>>88354781
I know that feeling, I'll eat a dead piece of skin Goldmember style out of compulsion every now and again. I don't even know why I do it.

>>88367798
You will love pork rinds.

They're fucking gross.

>>88367818
Nah, pork rinds are too dry and crunchy. Dead skin has like an almost rubbery texture.

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>>88367127

>>88367096
It's easier to swallow when it's someone else's though.

Well well well

You guys crack me up

>>88342923
He doesn't. He's tasting something funny in the water and asking if that taste is jism because he connected the dots.