Whomp Thread

>>88185683
Are those poptarts?

>>88185709
Either that, or some kind of chocolate toast.

>>88185709
Looks like it...with milk even. Milk only goes great with cookies, oreos, and graham crackers not pop tarts. Unless I'm missing out.

>you venture into the woods on a dark, spooky pee adventure.

Imagine if he ran into a cop

>>88185709
No, there's an odd number.

>>88185783

Chocolate-based pop-tarts go okay with milk.
Also they can be frozen to make them chewy.

I do the same in the summer.

>>88186160
I envy your freedom.

>>88186343

It's every man or commando-going woman's God-given right to piss out of doors.

When did they become roomies again?

>>88186698

Like a year ago.
Ronnie moved into Agrias' basement.

$10 says it's not actually Ronnie and that Sasquatch is actually another one of Santa's bastard offspring.

>>88185792
Cops patrol the forest now?

>>88186840
At 4am? Probably stoners.

>>88185830
Maybe his fat ass already ate one. I knew a guy who ate a box a day. He died. In a car crash. Left a box at the crash site. I think a coon or a homeless person took it. They're probably cursed now

>>88186840
Depends on the area but lots of times FILTHY vagrants occupy the woods by communities and you have to go in there with a can of bear mace and a baton to get them out. There is a reason the ones you see by red light medians have limps. I'm that reason.

>>88186160
More fun in the winter. The steam is satisfying.

Spooky Pee Adventures spin-off when?

>>88186951
Why would you rather have them in the city than in the woods?

I open the window and pee out into the night.

I live in a castle in the middle of nowhere so it's not like anyone will be bothered, and it's fuckcold to go down to the toilet down the hallway. It's more authentic this way anyhow, I should get a chamberpot

>>88186951
Thank you for beating up people born with schizophrenia, you're doing a lot of good for society.

>>88185709
It could be slices of toast with chocolate spread

>>88190094
Why do you live in a castle in the middle of nowhere?

File: that.jpg (57KB, 927x389px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 927x389px

>>88190193
Emma Watson might show up.

>>88190094
Are you some English lord?

>>88190170
if that is toast, then that would be an entire loaf of bread toasted

File: lumberjack gif.gif (2MB, 235x240px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 235x240px

Really, you should always pee outside if you live in an area where it's feasible (read "have a yard with blind spots"). You'll save on your water bill without having to leave smello-yellow in the toilet.

>>88190193
It's rent free
>>88190294
the castle's in France, but I was born in England, actually.

>>88185683
He can also just not flush and worry about getting yelled at in the morning.

>>88190357
Do you OWN the castle? Does it belong to a friend? Did you seduce a wealthy old woman with ties to nobility?

Do you just squat in some shitty ruins in the middle of the wilderness.

>>88190391
>Do you just squat in some shitty ruins in the middle of the wilderness.

As long as it's got an internet connection, it can't be all that bad.

>>88190391

The better question is how often does he find himself repelling invaders? Who does he call to break a siege? Are his enemies aware that cannons effectively nullify his defenses? If not, why not?

>>88186951
>I'm that reason
Are you a dangerous, lose cannon cop with a tragic past and nothing left to lose?

>>88186951
>woods
>bums

There's a difference between woods and a few trees in a city park.

Pissing in nature seems dangerous, what if something swims up your piss into your genitals

>>88190391
France is littered with Castles, and for some reason a lot of Anglos figure it's a better deal paying 600k for an honest to god castle in the south of France than a semi-detached shithole in London.

Of course they then get in trouble because owning a castle is not for amateurs, and they need someone to house sit their property, I had a choice of two castles for the winter, chose this one because I'm already familiar with it

>>88185683
I know this feel.

And people enjoy this webcomic?

>>88191842
Your mom's terrible, but alot of people seem to enjoy her too

>>88185783
You kidding? I enjoy eating them in milk. Warm them up, dunk them on cold milk, and enjoy.

>>88191612
>for the winter

Wait, did you rent a castle? For 600k? Also why would you need a house sitter for a castle as apposed to any other house? Explain yourself, Lord Anonymous.

>>88192925
I think he is the house sitter, anon. Castles probably need a decent amount of maintenance, on account of being giant and not very practical.

>>88193269
You also have to keep the peasants in line. Can't let those fuckers start slacking and dreaming of becoming knights.

this is LITERALLY me

>>88193269
I don't know. That castle-sitter pee outside the window instead of using the bathroom. he doesn't seem that good. Only one star.

File: soon.png (26KB, 322x376px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 322x376px

>>88190357
>fellow Anglo immigrant to France
Huh, small world.

>>88191612
>a lot of Anglos figure it's a better deal paying 600k for an honest to god castle in the south of France than a semi-detached shithole in London
Damn right. I'm not quite sure why the French hate their countryside so much that it's full of empty houses that can be had for a song, but that's their loss and England's gain. They shouldn't be worried about Muslims, they should be worried about us.

>>88193377
>the eternal anglo will take advantage of the French race war to steal their lands

Do you people ever stop thirsting for the blood of your neighbors?

>>88193377
>They shouldn't be worried about Muslims
Arabic emigrant mostly live in the big cities. Whereas countryside constitute most of the population where 98% of people are there since several generations.

People don't realize how little impact they have outside of cities.

File: 1479904832714.jpg (69KB, 480x574px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 480x574px

>>88190451
>>88193307

> tfw no sXVII shitposting

>>88193377
How does one support themselves while living in a castle in bumfuck nowhere? I mean, if you have the money to rent/buy a castle you have to have a job, do you just commute for 3 hours every day? Also how does buying groceries/necessities work? Does the castle come with peasants to do that for you?

>>88186160
I enjoy the summer night's chill when I piss down from my balcony.

>>88193504
Onto the peasants.

Its the closest to bathing the rabble will ever come.

File: kek pope.jpg (16KB, 319x287px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 319x287px

>>88193475
> mfw the pizza guy calling from the castle's gate

>>88193377
They'll fill up once white Flight starts affecting the big cities

>>88193536
>Not organizing your castle like a Zelda dungeon the pizza man has to defeat in order to collect his payment

File: 41SHyKSTgzL[1].jpg (31KB, 295x451px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 295x451px

>>88185709
A man can't enjoy an entire box of Pop Tarts without being judged?

>>88194006
Man I just ate a biggish cookie and now I feel pretty sick, thats not making it any better

>>88194531
I often see the 8 packs of Pop Tarts on sale here for $2. If I eat half the box (4 Pop Tarts) then I feel bloated and heavy and have to take a huge dump the next day. I couldn't imagine eating an entire box.

>>88193475

It's not entirely middle of nowhere, there's a small town 4km away, some supermarkets on the road even closer, and I have the owner's car. There are a couple of cottages for rent and tourists come stay for a couple of nights, I get to keep a cut, and I can also do some internet remote work

>>88195785
But what about WHORES?

>>88195809

Won't lie, the WHORES situation is a challenge.

"Hey babe, wanna come see my castle?" is less effective a pickup line than you'd think

>>88196962
I would think that would be pretty effective.