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EmpStoryAnon
"Empowered" Storytime #8 2016-11-23 20:06:32 Post No. 87890778
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"Empowered" Storytime #8 2016-11-23 20:06:32 Post No. 87890778
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Previous thread: >>87627703
We're back, and my-oh-my, is it really the penultimate volume already?
"Empowered" is Adam Warren's ongoing graphic novel series following the adventures of the titular (insecure) superheroine. Expect laughs, satire of the superhero genre, and drama out of left field.
Oh, and a bit of bondage.
Feel free to comment and respond as much as you like - discussion is what makes a storytime fun, after all. If it goes for a while without anyone other than me posting, a bump would obviously be appreciated.
Last time, we took the focus away from Emp herself to look at just what's up with Ninjette. She killed a whole bunch more ninjas, but things are still far from settled with her own clan. Also, DW is capable of talking like a normal person, and has a non-linear perception of time.
Let's kick Volume 8 off!
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>>87890778
Previous thread is as a matter of fact: >>87797449
Looks like Spooky might actually stop BSODing this volume.
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>>87890838
>Emp in Spooky's costume
I can find nothing wrong with this.
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>>87890870
So this is the first of seven pages of recap. I'm gonna break protocol and suspend my usual insightful commentary for these. You new folks just take the time to get caught up, okay?
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>>87890926
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>>87890955
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>>87891001
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>>87891051
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>>87891163
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>>87891184
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>>87891210
Warren apparently all but doing away with the pretense of a chapter-based format now.
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>>87891252
Divangelic continues to crop up three volumes after they were both introduced and killed off.
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>>87891298
Oh, I guess everything in Empowered so far has been the product of a high school creative writing class.
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>>87891334
Oh, wait, I totally remember Syndablokk mentioning he and KTL went to high school together. Who knew we'd be getting this backstory?
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>>87891371
Is this high school teacher the real final boss of the comic? What could his keikaku be?
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>>87891398
Well, that was fast.
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>>87891424
Let's not be facetious, Emp.
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>>87891424
I forget, were Syndablokk and KTL homolovers together before?
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>>87891451
[Spooky depression intensifies]
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>>87891499
F
>>87891456
Not as far as we know.
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>>87891538
Just a fine, fine, octopus reporter.
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>>87891585
Now if only he actually existed.
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>>87891626
So why hasn't Emp asked the Caged Demonwolf where to find Ol' Willy Pete?
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>>87891626
Attagirl, keep it simple.
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This is gonna be a lighter happier volune after the last few right? I dont think my heart could take it if its as depressing as the last vols.
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>>87891686
>This is gonna be a lighter happier volune after the last few right? I dont think my heart could take it if its as depressing as the last vols
anon........you may want to skip this storytime
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>>87891685
Right on time, he shows up.
>>87891667
He hasn't ever been all that keen to divulge details of future events - or even to let on that he has that knowledge. None of the characters other than him know he can see the future, in fact.
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>>87891732
Hell of a tempting metaphor, really.
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>>87891766
What does Shinto have to say about the afterlife?
t. anon too lazy to google
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>>87891826
Oh. Asked and answered.
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>>87891853
He's HRMMMing pretty hard.
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>>87891887
Busy day.
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>>87891940
DW always sees through your mortal deceptions.
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>>87891967
Some disguise shit going on here clearly. But what...
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>>87892007
Ah.
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>>87892007
oh shit, here we go
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>>87892034
Ninjas gotta shilly-shally.
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>>87892099
Ah, the age-old legal justification of Emp Defense.
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>>87892136
He has a point.
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>>87892156
Amnesia is unfortunately not a valid age-old legal justification.
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>>87892185
Unf, that skull chop.
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>>87892212
He really is an ontological tease of the highest order.
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>>87892244
>An unique
Nope.
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>>87892297
She is just so very down.
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>>87892351
>Foes with benefits
Das my shit.
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>>87891826
>What does Shinto have to say about the afterlife?
In classic Shintoism, Yomi. A cavelike underground realm filled with gloom and doom. All deceased persons, regardless of station or deeds in life, go there. Not the equivalent of Hell as understood in Christian or Islamic mythology as a place of torment or punishment, but a realm where the dead languish forever in wandering, darkness, and cold.
In post-Buddhist Shintoism, Yomi becomes culturally polluted with the Buddhist hell, Naraku, gaining punishment elements such as sinful dead being tormented with blades and meat hooks. After these sinful souls endure the torments of the underworld they are cleansed and allowed to reincarnate.
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>>87892399
Thanks for the exposition, girls. We had all pretty much figured that.
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>>87890778
Good man yerself OP
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>>87892440
Poor Hardkore.
>>87892406
Neat.
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>>87890926
Note how Havok has replaced spooky as less favourite homey
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>>87892490
More Makro, and San Antonio to boot.
>>87892462
Sure an' thanks to ye, anon.
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>>87892534
>Mt. Paladin
So this is how the Purple Paladin died?
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>>87892590
Willy Pete's gonna have his way with Makro, isn't he? ;_;
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>>87892590
Is Arctic O'Shaughnessy autistic?
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>>87892649
2lewd.
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>>87892675
Even supervills aren't safe from the repercussions of the WPI.
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Thanks for the storytime, OP. Much appreciated.
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>>87892629
>>87892675
Yeah, she'll stand his lovin' for a real long time.
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>>87892733
Unwritten Suggestions engage.
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>>87891398
Is the teacher an Adam Warren self insert? >>87891456
Just college roomies I think
>>87891667
Nigh omniscient, jackanapes! Nigh!
>>87891686
>This is gonna be a lighter happier volune after the last few right? I dont think my heart could take it if its as depressing as the last vols.
ha ha... no
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>>87892814
That's just mean.
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>>87892860
Egg-robot villain is a qt?
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>>87892896
Well shit, they got some weird-ass stuff down there in Undisclosed Location 3A.
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>>87892925
Okay, but what the fuck is it?
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>>87892953
More hints about the mysterious aliens.
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>>87893001
Damn, more intrigue and mystery. What's she up to? Trying to find out whether hell is real?
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>>87892763
Hell, she could get 'im to settle down, become a family man.
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>>87891424
That;s pretty fucked
On another note, I really wish Divangelic hadn't been killed off. I really liked her. Big headed robot lady mentioned she was a bitch, but big headed robot lady herself has also been shown to be quite a bitch.
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>>87893039
He is just a preposterously good guy.
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>>87893082
(sniff) FEELS
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>>87893082
Lot of hell-talk so far. Probably unsurprising, given the title.
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>>87893127
And again... and again... and again...
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>>87893169
Some things just happen.
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>>87893209
Yyyyup.
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>>87892136
>>87892156
I think this conversation is about the angriest we see DW get.
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>>87893255
Gonna be fucking Emp, right?
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>>87893274
Nailed it.
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>>87893309
...Only #12?
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>>87893333
So what's your favourite Emp?
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>>87893365
Revenge of the frozen apartment.
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>>87893393
I think I see where this is going.
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>>87893424
Ground zero.
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>>87893450
Quite a sight. One of these volumes, we might just find out what actually happened here.
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>>87893496
Aw, she's so autismo.
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>>87893519
Look out below!
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>>87893557
She sure gets a lot of training scenes. Must be building up to some future badassery, right?
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>>87893599
Cylcops expy - one laser eyebrow instead of one laser eye.
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>>87893621
Thanks, Sun Tzu.
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>>87893599
>Emp learns Hardkore misses fighting
>offers to spar with him
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>>87893659
Rubbernecker is for hugging and protecting.
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>>87893695
Time to leap a tall building in a single bound, Emp.
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>>87893671
Pretty fucking good. Also must be nice that he doesn't just get to move around, but he also gets to feel a bit more useful through teaching a superhero how to be stronger.
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>>87893726
Reeeeaaaaacchhh.
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>>87893599
You'd think avoiding more battle damage would be a priority for the Super Dead. Hardkore is probably still pretty durable tho
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>>87893762
*sad trombone*
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>>87893787
I always feel worried by how little Daisy's arm is being held on by. Seems like it's ready to fall off at any moment.
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>>87893793
Well that's gonna hurt.
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>>87893818
Look of respect right there.
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>>87893841
Is no one gonna explain the ridiculous invisible 'hand-phones'?
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>>87893899
Supersuit. Or since Rivet has them too, some kind of team wide implant?
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>>87893899
Figures this would become... an issue again.
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>>87893810
It's clearly floating along via her powers... which include blowing up and reforming so I guess that's not a big deal...
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>>87893933
The asteroid is tied up in the whole San Antonio thing? The more we learn, the less we understand, I guess.
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>>87893841
OK Adam screwed up her ass badly in panel 2
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>>87893933
>Oh yeah, I accidentally teleported to that super secret legally forbidden location I'm not even supposed to know about
As much as I hate Havoc, I think I can understand to a very small extend how Emp's shenanigans might get a bit tiresome at a certain point.
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>>87893982
>Good lord! *choke*
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>>87893899
>Is no one gonna explain the ridiculous invisible 'hand-phones'?
Better than risking the whole "clamshell mobile phones look horribly dated now" again. Originally it was just her supersuit but now most supers seem to be doing it
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>>87894040
Well Rivet is some sort of living golem, so maybe he's got a transmitter of some sort built right in? Have we seen any other heroes do it?
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>>87894067
I kind of hope all the Superhomeys have it, including the deadish ones.
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>>87894038
Hey, they re-attached Mother Tongue's tongue!
>>87893983
Hah, you're right. That's some inflation-tier shit.
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>>87894092
Ah, these three.
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>>87894122
That was pretty gullible of her, no question.
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>>87894155
How much could she have pinned down the whole hell thing, really?
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>>87894184
Hell-approximate, at least!
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>>87894067
>Have we seen any other heroes do it?
Yeah the dudes in the superprison in vol 9 did it too
>>87894092
>Hey, they re-attached Mother Tongue's tongue!
I knew Dr. Mclargehuge would come through
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>>87894254
Ominous af.
And all that we have time for! Bit earlier than usual, I know, but I prefer to end on a chapter end. So this volume, having only two chapters, doesn't give me a whole lot of leeway there.
I'll be back to finish off tomorrow night, as usual. As always, thanks for reading.
>>
>>87894315
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>
>>87891732
>Kurt Cobain wrote Lake of Fire
Nah that was the Meat Puppets
Come on Warren
>>
>>87891826
"Fib-Fabricating Fire Felcher"
Good God, I love this book so much.
>>
>>87893082
Man, the cross-dressing Batman spoof is a better good guy than literally everybody else in the damn book.
Why doesn't this guy run editorial at Marvel, for God's sake? Somebody with actual talent to run the place?
>>
>>87893496
Jesus Christ.... Thug boy isn't just some little nobody is he.
What the fuck went down, that a freaking SUPERVOLCANO came up through the middle of a continental plate?
Is that Willy Pete being born right there?
>>
>>87895321
not quite, just pay attention to object 524 is all i'm saying.although I wouldn't rule out willy pete being born there
>>
>>87893496
Looking at the vehicles in the background and TB's hair and gun in hand, I think this is just after the Sayo-our-fucking-Naras guy from the capeys almost killed him.
>>
>>87891371
>No lisp
Alligator jaws must suck
>>
>>87891585
Is the guy in the suit Rubbernecker or do they just have the same head?
>>
>>87892034
>Bruise from the chain around her neck
I'm wincing
>>
buuuuuump
>>
>>87893073
>Big headed robot lady mentioned she was a bitch, but big headed robot lady herself has also been shown to be quite a bitch.
Yeah I don't think Totemkopf can be trusted, she said Mindfuck was a bitch too
(I don't know that her name is Totemkopf but it totally should be)
>>
>>87892896
>Egg-robot villain is a qt?
If you like buckteeth, I guess
>>
Have they had a three-way yet?
>>
>>87896897
Never going to happen
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>>87890778
>the wings return
looks promising
>>
>>87895178
He wrote Gen13. That was Marvel.
That said, his tendency for bad ends wouldn't really run in Marvel's current environment.
>>
>>87896333
Some other person. The Superhomies keep the Superdead a secret from the public.
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>>87897919
he also did a ironman mini that was pretty awesome
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>>87894067
It really wouldn't matter since he could simply be doing the gesture so that people understand he's "on the phone" instead of trying to talk to him while he's having a phone chat.
>>
>>87894254
G'damn, Mindfuck's hawt as in that first panel. Would psychically hit it.
>>
>>87893841
rubbernecker a qt
>>
>>87897167
It could still happen in the 3 issue mini or vol 10 next year
>>
>>87892156
Those "dead inside" eyes 'jette sometimes has
>>
>>87892297
>that slut
kek
>>
So I was thinking about undead Phallic's little rampage and I just realized how fucked up it was. It's possible his mental abilities were completely shot considering his brain was fried, but at the same time other superdeads like Strapping Buck took physical brain damage while not suffering any cognitive side effects. So if his powers kept his mind sane despite his physical brain being roasted, he was literally just flipping out because he had no sight, hearing, or sense of touch and had absolutely no idea what was going on around him besides having been suddenly incinerated.
>>
>>87892440
>dead guys can't get it up
But dead girls still get to have fun, huh?
>>
>>87893127
>>87893169
Uh - I don't remember MF being this /fit/. Yowza.
>>
>>87893671
She really is an angel, isn't she?
>>
>>87901933
now that you mention it.
>classic 'angelic looks' (blonde, blue eyes, cute as heck)
>incredibly honest and kind to a fault.
>a supersuit sent to her from who-the-fuck-knows-where
>said supersuit when in full power mode sprouts wings, and gives her powers that can rival the strongest of the strongest.
>said powers are considered by the people (mainly the supers) who know about them/seen them as simply 'awe-inspiring', something that in a world full of super heroes is saying something.
yeah, emp is not a normal girl in any definition of the word.
>>
>>87891334
>>87891371
>>87891398
Syndablokk knew Divangelic from way back when? Damn, he was already my favorite superhommie, but that means that incident probably hit a little closer to home for him.
As always, thanks for the storytime, OP.
>>
>>87891667
they don't take him seriously
>>
>>87893496
jesus christ what fucking happened in San Antonio?
>>
>>87892007
>Those eyes in that last panel.
I don't think I've ever been scared for the fate of a fictional character as I have for ninjette.Quick, someone lie to me and tell me she's going to be okay, and will also get a puppy.
>>
>>87903049
She'll be fine, but she'll get a kitty instead of a puppy
>>
>>87903076
This is acceptable, thank you, Anon.
>>
>>87901332
I'm sure his last living memories being firefucked to death by Willie Pete probably didn't help matters either.
>>
>>87894315
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Fuck this is getting intense. I swear, if Spooky finds out Pete is actually a Hellfire Monster or something I'm going to flip.
>>
bamp
>>
>>87903323
It's not acceptable, cats suck
>>
>>87907387
Take that back immediately or no more storytime.
>>
>>87893496
Damn it, I want a Thugboy focused volume ASAP
>>
>>87891456
Not shown I think, and I think their relationship and sex life probably nosedived after this.
>>
>>87892034
I like it. She's paying her dues to be a complete fucking badass.
>>
>>87901448
Then how did is phallospear work?.....
>>
>>87908710
The phallospear transcends death, for it is mighty
>>
Ready for tonight's continuation.
>>
>>87898253
And don't forget Livewires. Warren really wants to write hard SF. I get I vibe like from people who write fan fiction to make a story make sense to themselves.
>>
bumping, cats are lame tho
>>
>>87894092
>Plutonium Blonde's hair glows.
Shit, it took me way too long to realize this.
>>
>>87912023
You're lame
>>
>>87912036
>Plutonium Blonde
Aaaand I just got than pun.
>>
>>87912344
Please spoonfeed
>>
>>87913685
Plutonium Blonde - Platinum Blonde
>>
>>87913685
"Platinum blonde" is a thing, Jane Maynsfield, Marylin Monroe, etc... she's got radioactive powers so "Plutonium Blonde"
>>
>>87913998
>>87914022
Ahh I get it now, thanks. I think a lot more of superhero names make sense if you're a native English speaker
>>
Oh boy, I sure do wonder when EmpStoryAnon will come back like he promised
>>
>>87914212
It's more a thing specific to this comic, a lot of the super's names are puns of some sort, for instance KTL stands for King Tyrant Lizard but is also a reference to the K-T layer that marks the extinction event that killed the dinosaurs.
Baron Womb - barren womb
Major Havok is an 80s video game
Yummy Mummy is a cereal brand
Makro is a reference to Mike Rowe the real worl host of "Dirty Jobs"
Willy Pete is military slang for White Phosphorous incendiary
...could go on all day
>>
>>87914716
>>87907507
Storytime is over, anon. Go home.
>>
>>87914720
Kirie Eleison is a catholic prayer, hence the Valkirie Eleison super news anchor
Daisy Cutter is a type of air dropped bomb
Rubbernecking is the act of gawking or staring at something of interest
A Strapping Buck is a strong, virile young man
Tommy Tokamak was named after the Tokamak fusion reactor prototype
.... there's more
>>
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I have decided to overlook certain 'indiscretions' and continue the storytime regardless.
You should all count yourselves extremely lucky. This was a close call.
>>
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>>87915208
Emo-tastic. You heard it here first, folks.
>>
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>>87915228
Well damn.
>>
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>>87915250
>Scientific Method Man
Fucking lol.
>>
>>87915271
Bless you
>>
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>>87915271
>Live feed
>Shadowy hand
>Suit itself tying her up
Not even gonna try to figure this one out. Spoonfeed me, Warren-senpai.
>>
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>>87915303
Oh, right. Figures. Magic.
>>
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>>87915330
Just what thehellis she up to?
>>
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>>87915351
We already knew all of this, nothing to see here.
>>
>>87915271
This actually provides the base for most of the next volume's plot, amusingly enough
>>
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>>87915433
Existence of hell confirmed just like that. Take that, o cagey caged Demonwolf!
>>
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>>87915485
Right, but WE'D really like to know!
>>
>>87915208
Thanks kindly EmpStoryAnon
>>
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>>87915520
Huh. Direct and to the point. Didn't expect that.
>>
>>87891585
Damn, Spooky has nice legs.
>>
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>>87915535
But can she do it again?
>>
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>>87915561
At least he's marking up the counterfactuals in advance this time.
>>
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>>87915583
...Killing everyone at her school?
>>
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>>87915612
Oh, or that.
>>
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>>87915624
Yup, she can't do it.
>>
>>87915624
Damn, that's actually pretty cute of her. I'm surprised.
>>
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>>87915654
With the greatest superpower of all: heart.
>>
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>>87915678
>This kidnapping sponsored by Herofuel™
>>
>>87915678
also sex
>>
>>87915142
Blunt Trauma, the pro weed supervillain is a play on "Blunt" as slang for a joint and impact injury
Wet Blanket is said of someone who always ruins people's fun
Hand Cholo - Han Solo / slang for latin american gang member / guy with a hand for a face
Size Queen - women who enjoy large penises
are called this
MindFuck - something that really alters your perception, a drug trip for example, or an existential revelation
(Some of these are a little obvious but the commenter said he wasn't a native English speaker)
>>
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>>87915699
She's getting pretty good at that.
>>
>>87915699
>Thunderstick
I can kind of see where this is going.
>>
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>>87915720
Das some good KRAKKOOM.
>>
>>87914720
>>87915142
>>87915716
Well I certainly appreciate the time put into that, it explains a lot of the names. Thanks!
>>
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>>87915754
Comprehensively rekt.
>>
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>>87915783
That's some Hussie-tier idiom dissection.
>>
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>>87915817
>That blush
>>
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>>87915837
Well, now we know what she's been dreaming about the whole time.
>>
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>>87915865
Cheerfully baring the most depressing elements of her soul like a champ.
>>
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>>87915885
Hey, she got it! Maybe.
>>
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>>87915908
Yeah c'mon Spooky, don't leave her out of the big adventure in her own book.
>>
>>87915908
Spooky kinda looks like she somehow got every villain to tie Emp up through magic shenanigans
>>
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>>87915933
Stealth BTFO.
>>
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>>87915971
I don't think she's gonna.
>>
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>>87916004
Now there's a poser.
>>
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>>87916023
Here we are again.
>>
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>>87916050
Well fuck.
>>
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>>87916067
Okay, so there's a whole bunch of not-necessarily-aligned aliens.
>>
>>87916067
a WMD joke sprung to mind but it's been 12 years since that and I'm pretty sure many people have made that joke already
>>
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>>87916088
Guys like Rivet sure have a lot on their plates.
>>
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>>87916115
Ah. San Antonio.
>>
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>>87916156
So what exactly is it?
>>
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>>87916188
And we all know how well THAT turned out.
>>
>>87916156
> Dude have you ever thought if like dude like if we gave the humans the weapons for fun
>Hahahaha what like if they nuke a continent or some shit
>>
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>>87916204
That's pretty much cool as fuck.
>>
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>>87916230
>Friendly fire
Heh.
>>
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>>87916249
Probably best not to overthink this kind of thing.
>>
>>87916249
somewhere on the internet in the Empverse, a bunch of nerds start posting about how they were right
>>
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>>87916275
Would probably just be 95% 'do it do it fuck it do it' thoughts.
>>
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>>87916318
That's pretty sad. Kind of hard to even hate him.
>>
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>>87916352
I think pretty much everyone does that to some extent, though.
>>
>>87916318
>>87916352
I thought Mindfuck was the little sister. What a reversal of expectations. But funny how they both altered their personalities
>>
>>87916318
Oh, shit, Mindfuck feels she was partially responsible for messing up her brother, doesn't she?
>>
>>87916352
I've always been kind of glad that telepath related superpower stuff doesn't exist. I just can't imagine not going crazy with such a power
>>
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>>87916374
And then they fug...?
>>
>>87916397
I wonder how difficult it is to eat someone out with no tongue
>>
>>87916374
I kinda want a flashback to Mindfucks past, just to see how she was before the editing and mutilation
>>
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>>87916397
Aww.
>>
>>87915961
>Spooky kinda looks like she somehow got every villain to tie Emp up through magic shenanigans
Funny story!....errr...
>>
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>>87916429
Hard to see this ending well, really.
>>
>>87916067
This is straight out of a Iain M. Banks Culture novel, Warren's sci fi roots are showing
>>
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>>87916453
Man, portals can take you anywhere, huh?
>>
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>>87916474
Emphasis on gateS, plural.
>>
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>>87916493
>Superheroes sitting in the glass cockpit of a giant sword-shaped alien weapon preparing to breach the gates of hell
This comic is fun sometimes.
>>
>>87916453
And that's the other half of next volume's plotline set up, convenient!
>>
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>>87916531
But was that good SKRANGG or bad SKRANGG?
>>
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>>87916551
...So how's the view?
>>
>>87916551
Yes
>>
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>>87916571
What is it? Souls?
>>
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>>87916594
Oh, it actually is.
Also, what scarier shit did Spooky see? I call bullshit.
>>
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>>87916615
Unf.
>>
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>>87916640
...
>>
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>>87916663
Yeah, I think her bad memories trump yours, Spooky.
>>
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>>87916681
So would you call herempoweredafter this?
I joke because this is terrifying.
>>
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>>87916704
Yet another shitty drawback of telepathy.
>>
>>87916663
>>87916681
>>87916704
remember when this book was about a girl getting tied up in comical situations
>>
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>>87916733
Seems they were a much better couple than we knew.
>>
>>87916663
>>87916681
>>87916704
This downright frightening. Then I remember MF was a totalt bitch at that time, but's still a horrible situation
>>
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>>87916752
Eyes bigger than her stomach.
>>
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>>87916790
This guy used to be sort of comic relief.
>>
>>87916681
>most powerful telepath in the world
>doesn't wear shoes or socks or dress sensibly
>>
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>>87916819
Guess Emp still didn't get the full story after all of that.
>>
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>>87916854
He must have some obscure filing system going on there.
>>
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>>87916886
I'm still not convinced any of this is what it seems.
>>
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>>87916925
I don't know if I'd be quite so sure.
>>
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>>87916948
Aaaaand there's the sting.
>>
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>>87916967
That's gotta give her a reeeaaaallllll confused boner.
>>
>>87916854
>>87916886
Every time I see that sea of burning souls, I expect to find one obscure face in the corner who's all "Actually? This isn't so bad!"
>>87916829
"FOOL! FOOTWEAR IS FOR LESSER MINDS!" Is probably what his opinion of the matter was.
>>
>>87916829
shoes are for the weak minded.
but no seriously I think he's so far off the deep end he probably just thinks of his body as a chunk of meat he drives around and doesn't care what it looks like
>>
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>>87917011
So, uh... Spooky had a backup plan, right?
>>
>>87917011
Man, that's pretty hot.
(you'll just have to imagine the Carlos.jpg I guess, can't use it in a storytime after all)
>>
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>>87917056
Man he just won't stop punching her face into the ground, huh?
>>
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>>87917081
Oh snap. He was playing the long con from the start.
Also he might be the merc with the mouth if that backstory is anything to go by.
>>
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>>87917081
missed opportunity :(
>>
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>>87917120
Wait, he set up Mindfuck's death? How's that?
>>
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>>87917149
Her, uh... her lips are burnt off. That's... hrm.
>>
>>87917177
thats what happen when you start mackin on the lava succubus.
>>
>>87916733
>Yet another shitty drawback of telepathy.
Yeah 20 years of X-men never really went into the real implications of neuropowers like this supposedly light comedy book does
>>87916742
>remember when this book was about a girl getting tied up in comical situations
"It was supposed to be a comedy, Warren"
>>
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>>87917177
Well shit, probably should've led with that one, Spooky.
>>
>>87917149
He was responsible for Willey Pete?
>>
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>>87917194
Okay, but what's half a skull going to do about it?
>>
>>87916429
Hmm so if Spooky got her powers at 13 she'd be 19 by now
>>
>>87917190
Warren is just really talented, and since Empowered is his own project he can really explore the implications of certain powers in a way you can't when you are held back by a corporate owned franchise
>>
>>87916819
>This guy used to be sort of comic relief.
It's precisely why I think Demon Wolf getting loose might be the series finale. Despite his bonding with the crew, he's still a goddamn elder god tier destroyer of worlds
>>
>>87917251
The whole reason he ended up on that coffee table was because of dumb luck and alien bondage gear else he probably would have destroyed the world right then and there.
>>
>>87917251
on the flip side he might've only come to Earth yelling about destroying it to meet Emp, and more specifically Ninjette
>>
>>87917197
i believe it was hinted that mindfucks brother has something to do with it
>>
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>>87917232
Hell's own security guards, I'd imagine.
>>
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>>87917332
Well these look just a tad familiar.
>>
>>87917374
so, they're not in hell, but some sort of alien place?
>>
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>>87917374
Oh no you don't.
>>
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>>87917467
Man, she's gotta be sick of this shit.
>>
>>87917492
Did they even save Mindfuck?
>>
>>87917522
Do you really wanna know?
>>
>>87917554
I imagine I don't.
>>
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>>87917492
Haha, you rusemaster!
>>
>>87917522
I thought the implication was she was never there in the first place
>>
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>>87917622
She'll, uh... be fine, right?
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>>87917554
I'm still not convinced that actually was Mindfuck.
Since, this guy is a bullshitter, soul eating is part of an alien dealie, and actual afterlifeness is still as yet unestablished.
I'm just slotting Empowered in as one story under the K6BD universe at this point anyway. Kill the devil and tear down his planet.
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>>87917654
Wow, she actually did it, the absolute madwoman.
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>>87917759
Not cool, Spookums.
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>>87917781
Less cute
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>>87917781
Almost totemically so.
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>>87917874
Well, let's just see.
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>>87917905
Ow, my epilepsy. First time a comic book has triggered it.
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>>87917923
I DONT CARE IF YOU'RE SPAZMING ON THE FLOOR DROWNING IN YOUR OWN GRAND MAL VOMIT, SOLDIER, YOU KEEP POSTING
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>>87917923
Didn't you quit though?
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>>87918027
Hey, at least die with a positive mindset.
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>>87918056
So, uh... can she heal a torn-off arm like she can heal burnt-off lips?
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>>87918086
...an hero'd?
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>>87918086
Man, I appreciate the fuck out of this story-time, but it kills it a bit when you describe the dramatic stuff happening on the page.
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>>87918101
>Say!
>>87918121
Haha, fair point.
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>>87918161
Poignant choice of idiom.
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>>87918182
Conterfactual mic drop!
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>>87918275
Gotta say I saw it coming. Still badass though.
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>>87918303
COME ON EMP
SAVE THIS ONE
YOU CAN DO IT
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>>87918303
It really is an art that takes a lot of practice.
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>>87918332
Yeah, you bitch!
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>>87918332
>Emp's experience with bondage saves the day yet again
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>>87918363
Just gotta believe!
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>>87918397
Man, they're really goinghell bent for leather.
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>>87918503
Surely scariER?
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>>87918503
CARLOS!
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>>87918528
Acrobatic.
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>>87918549
I feel like things have been at 'oh shit!' level for a while now, Emp.
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>>87918528
RIP swordship, too good, too pure for this world. I was rooting for you, I wanted the caged demonwolf to wield you one day.
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>>87918567
Really some impressive manoeuvring considering she's got no hands free.
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>>87918590
Oh, dear.
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>>87918618
Even hell itself can't contain them! Or much of anything, really, given enough determination.
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>>87918590
Goddamnit, Spooky. Stop making those kinds of expressions while down a limb. I'm not quite that much of a /d/egenerate.
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>>87918618
DAMN YOU WARREN!
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>>87918618
NO!
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>>87918618
yeah fuck you Adam
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>>87918642
C'mon, suit, strut your stuff.
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>>87918675
I feel like she should be facing the camera here, holding up a little sign saying 'UH OH!'
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>>87918692
Well, this looks familiar, even if it has been 5 volumes.
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>>87918692
Jump good?
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>>87918618Shit, did she make a deal with that demon to trade her soul for Spooky's in her last moments, or something? I'm seriously not getting how this bundle of feels came to be.
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>>87918711
Hard not to see some angel symbolism here what with all this hell shit.
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>>87918759
Whew!
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>>87918618
How? Even if she was a bitch (nowhere near as bad as her brother) earlier, she changed and redeemed herself! This must be some demon trick where some of MF was imprinted on those forms
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>>87918618
FUCKING DAMMIT
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>>87918775
...Will she ever cotton on?
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>>87918796
Now kiss
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>>87918796
Yeah, it's probably about time for that.
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>>87918815
...Are you sure you really want to know?
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>>87918840
But surely this is exactly the same as all the times they kissed psychically.
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>>87918872
>Hannah
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>>87918888
Upbeat ending as per usual.
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>>87915142
Buck specifically refers to a black virile young man generally used for breeding more slaves in particular but I doubt Warren was actually trying to be racist or realizes that's the general origin of the term when used for men.
It's why the first time Marvel had a black guy as Bucky they had Captain America personally apologize for it.
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>>87918908
Pfft. I'll believe it when I see it.
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>>87918933
Okay, Warren, we get it, we won't ask about endings anymore.
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>>87918959
She's bordering on having a bulge here.
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>>87918983
And to round things off, have an exceptionally qt 'healed' Mindfuck.
That's Volume 8, boyos. Only one left! Next time, though, I'll be doing the second triplet of mini-issues, to pace us out on this home stretch.
As always, thanks for reading.
>>
>>87918917
Err I was aware of that but it´s a southern thing, can't consider it universal. It's like calling black people "boy", doesn't mean the word "boy" is universally a racist euphemism. Here in Europe I'm fairly certain calling someone "Buck" doesn't have any slavery associations whatsoever, and I would imagine for Warren the same applied when he named SB
>>87918778
I don't know, Warren claimed that this volume brought the Mindfuck plotline to a finish "with ringing finality" but that fucking "Goodbye Spookums" just opens a whole can of worms that are just gonna keep wriggling
>>
>>87919020
Thanks mate.
>>
>>87919020
EmpStoryAnon, when do you think you'll be around next?
I've been hooked rather remarkably.
Give me the drug.Thanks for storytiming!
>>
>>87919113
Hard to say. After the weekend, for sure. Maybe Monday or Tuesday?
>>
>>87918618
Honestly I feel like sometimes Warren likes bad ends too much, since this just seems like twisting the knife just for the sake of it.
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>>87915535
Gotta like Spooky's Moxie here. Somebody tells her her girlfriend is in hell, she's tries to invade with a Super WMD.
>>
>>87919040
I still refuse to believe it's truly her. The ISP guy had to get people to sell their souls and die before he could get them, or trick them into entering his domain
I doubt Mindfuck ever sold her soul, and the demon just made a convincing copy, he could after all possess other supers, so he could learn the Spookums nickname through that
>>
>>87919232
Or maybe Spooky can get both her and Mindfuck out of hell when Spooky inevitably dies at some point in the future.
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>>87919176
Yeah no shit this was a kick in the teeth when I read it
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>>87919040
It's been getting more archaic through the years but a quick double check of some slang dictionaries confirms it's specifically for black people with the strapping part making it connote laziness or uppityness.
As a general guess it would be nearly 40 years since that would be immediately recognized as referring to blacks and eventually it was forgotten that it actually meant black people in particular.
As I said before, I highly doubt it was remotely on purpose as it's now become obscure due to noone realizing the context was also racial. It's even possible that I was the only one of us out of however many readers in this thread that even noticed.
This is also taking part in the Southwest of the United States so the original definition is more likeley if there was some european shift in the slang.
>>
>>87919232
Pretty sure people can end up in Hell the ordinary way without no demonic bargains being made.
Apparently the Empowered-universe got a faghating god in charge.
>>
>>87916374
Yeah, Mindfuck's way just cuts out the middle man a bit.
>>
>>87916704
So who's scariest. Mindfuck's brother, 'Jette's Dad or Willy Pete?
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>>87919377
Yeah honestly it seems weird. That demon shouldn't be allowed to bring in Mindfuck on Spooky's crimes, and it really seems like the only person Mindfuck damaged with her psychic powers was herself. I really don't see much of what she had done as hell-worthy, especailly since I don't think this is a world based off of biblical literalism, else hell would already get like 99% of all souls regardless.
>>
>>87919561
Her brother at least has some kind of tragic-redeemingness about him. He's as much of a victim of his powers as anyone else.
The other two have no such sympathetic features that we know of - gonna give it to 'Jette's dad on account of he's an actual human being instead of a fiery kludge mind, so his scariness feels more relatable and real.
>>
>>87919601
I don't think you realize how easy it is to get into heaven.
TLDR
Whatever you do won't count against you if you say you're sorry before it's too late.
>>
>>87919714
That doesn't really work unless you're actually sorry though.
>>
>>87919561
Mindfuck's brother definitely, there is something really out of this world about him that just creeps me out. Something about how he gradually got more and more detached, out of his own desire to not be so scared
Dad ninja is certainly a scary guy, but not in the same creepy way, we need to see more of him.
In the end, Ol' Willy Pete is just horny, which I don't really find creepy, plus most of his victimes die from the first penentration so there's that
>>
>>87919755
Plenty of people mean it in life threatening situations even if they wont practice it.
Eg the old atheists in foxholes saying
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>>87919714
I mean, in Mindfuck's case I'm pretty sure she was sorry, but just didn't get a chance to say it to the right costume? Though that gets into what it is she's done that she should feel sorry for.
>>
>>87915654
I thought we learned in Vol 6.5 that her suit spoke alien
>>
Fuck yoi warren. And fuck you story anon for making me read this. I wanted a happier volume not this. I didnt want this bad end
>>
TY as always for the storytime, OP. I've got the most of the Emp volumes up to 7, but not the specials or the later books. Thx again!
>>
>>87915885
>dat librarian bondage dream
UM -
YES.
>>
>>87919813
http://militaryatheists.org/atheists-in-foxholes/
>>
>>87918574
Didn't Spookums say they have literally hundreds of them on 524?
>>
>>87921070
It's an Exterminatus Array, so yeah.
>>
>>87921070
Yeah, but the capes were only given access codes to one in particular.
An' it's all busted.
>>
Thanks for the storytime
>>
>>87918778
>>87919377
>>87919930
My apologies for not looking further back in the convo. Chrome is acting weird today.
Minduck is an atheist. Since you can't get into heaven by the normal method of asking Jesus to let you in if you're an atheist then your place usually in these sorts of scenarios or thought experiments gets defaulted to the other place that would take it aka Hell.
Now an interesting thing about this is papal infallibility. If it has any sort of effect or relevance on things then if their pope is similar to (or the same as) our one theoretically mindfuck is or is going to be yoinked out of Hell the moment Heaven does an audit since atheists can now officially get in.
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>>87921999
It's not a literal Hell, it's aliens (possibly) collecting human psyches for purposes.
Fuck, they even have a villain dedicated to collecting undead "bargain babies".
Whatever is going on on Lava Planet has nothing to do with the God of Abraham.
Like the cloud beings that gave Emp her suit, it's just extradimensionals/aliens dicking around.
>>
>>87915654
So that's why hot girls only befriend ugly chicks
>>
>>87916704
holy shit this is terrifying.
that's such a good way of displaying the dialogue though
>>
>>87892854
>Is the teacher an Adam Warren self insert?
The closest thing to an Adam Warren self-insert isDeathmonger.
>>
>>87918618
NOOOOOO
>>
>>87916419
>>>87916397
>I wonder how difficult it is to eat someone out with no tongue
Mindfuck was a quite disappointing lover 'in the flesh', not least because she was missing her tongue.
She apparently more than made up for it in other ways.
>>
>>87916704
Jesus
Fuck
>>
>>87916230
Didn't MaidMan mention he has seen the sword before?
>>
>>87922078
in which case the fact that they don't just grab whatever humans they want en masse means that there are some sort of laws in place against that. Perhaps a sort of treaty with an opposing political power of cloud beings?
As such seeking asylum from an opposing political power would be a shrewd move if intelligence regarding their disposition is correct.
Secondly, death monger is not in their employ nor has there ever been any indication to lend credence to your theory or that they bother to collect said bargain babies.
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>>87893274
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>>87917120
Shit, I wonder who/what the other eleven are?
SHIT.
Willy Pete is a kludge mind! What if one of the other clients this asshole super-sized is absorbing all the rest to become some kind of a demon god-let?
Eeeee!
>>
>>87918618
ohgod, she's really there?!
FUCK
>>
>>87916704
>sacrament
this motherfucker is preaching, holy christ
>>
>>87919020
>As always, thanks for reading.
No, thank YOU, anon!
YOU ARE DOING GOD'S WORK HERE
>>
>>87915485
Is this the page where Warren realized that he'd never shown Spooky to be taller than Emp with her heels on, thereby unintentionally making Spooky several inches shorter than Emp?
Because that's what it looks like.
>>
>>87917149
>your suit looks kinda familiar
oh shit
>>
>>87923982
kind of makes me think that whatever her suit is, it's definitely holy in nature and is probably straight up angelic garb.
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