What does a typical Thanksgiving look like for Batman?

Alfred spends all day cooking a full course meal, gets all the good plates and cutlery out, sets out 3 places in the dinning hall, and then waits patiently for Bruce to come home.

He's stuck at a bunch of charity events as Bruce Wayne like soup kitchens and shit

>>87826956
Batman could probably help Gotham a lot more if he actually put all the meals Alfred makes to good use and feeds the hunger rather than just letting them get cold and dumped out. Yeah Batman will save you from the Joker but God help you if you're hungry.

>>87827026
Batman doesn't care about actually helping the people of Gotham.
He says he does, and probably thinks he does.

But deep down inside, what he really wants to do is hurt all the people who hurt him by killing his parents

>>87827026
I bet lex has the best public thanksgiving

>>87826719

>Bat Turkey
>Bat Mashed Potatoes and Bat Gravy
>Bat Mushroom Stuffing
>Bat Cranberry Sauce
>Bat Rolls
>Bat Roasted Carrots

With some White Bat Wine to finish it

>>87826719

either Batman punching the shit out of Calendar-man before throwing his ass back in arkham or its Him,Alfred,Dick (who came not because invited but because he knows Bruce needs it) and Damien all at the table.

Alfred tells embarrassing stories of Bruce when he was a kid. Dick picks on Damien making fun of his social ineptness and Bruce sits quietly observing everyone has a Flashback to Thanksgivings before the "accident" and smirks

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>>87826719

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Wrong holiday, but still.

>>87826719

There have been plenty of times where he actually puts a priority on spending time with family. If he's alone, maybe some kind of dinner that Alfred made but with Dick, Tim, and Damian probably some patrolling followed by a meal.

>>87826719
We can be sure his parents won't be there

>>87827083
You should write Batman, nailed the characters right there.

>>87827026

Right. The charities, shelters, and hospitals he's funded, not to mention all the jobs he strives to create, mean nothing because he wastes a sandwich every now and then.

>>87827056

Hello, Geoff.

>>87827822
A lot of writers are afraid of killing the Golden Goose of DC.

Batman is one of the major reasons that DC is still around.

Implying that he is anything less than literally perfect is dangerous.

But he's a much better character if he's totally fucking bonkers

I imagine Bruce has Alfred cook up Thanksgiving rations or something and hands them out to all the Batfamily and Leaguers for on the go eating. Everyone looks forward to it each year but no one tells Bruce for fear that he'd stop bringing them over.

>>87827066
I like to think Lex is a good guy but hates Superman so fucking much that it overrides all his other ambitions.

>>87829409
I think that's pretty much canon

Thats literally the entire point of his character.In almost every timeline where supes doesnt exist Lex is a world famous humanitarian thats done some incredible feat like cure cancer,solve world hunger or end all wars. Meanwhile in almost every other timeline supes snapes and becomes a killer or simply outright has no problem with killing.

Its one of those ironically sad things. Lex really does want whats best for humanity but supes drives him fucking insane

>>87829409
>>87829469
>>87829623
It's because Lex's fundamental belief is that a man can achieve anything is if tires hard enough.
That's downright admirable.
But he believes it so strongly that it corrupts itself when he coexists with Superman

Lex can never be as good as Superman.
He can't.
Because he wasn't born to be.
And that's the total antithesis of his core belief.

If he doesn't beat Superman, then it proves that some people are just born to be inferior.

And that's absolutely disgusting to Lex

>>87829770
If Lex loves non-powered humans so much, why isn't he BFFs with Batman?

>>87829971
Honestly, he should be

But the shared universe has always been kinda more in name than in fact

>>87829971
Because Batman isn't especially fond of people who build green and purple murdersuits to use against his friends and allies?

>>87829989
For instance; how come hardly any legit superpowered fuckers fight Batman? Because it's not like kind of series, despite it supposedly just being one corner of a world crammed with superpeople.

>>87830051
Yeah
Like if wouldn't even take a strong super to destroy Batman

Just like, a 1 ton range guy
Barely even registers on super-strength

But could punch Batman's head off

>>87830051
Batman operates in a city that is basically a dark, deranged hellhole where villains are psychotic and if you're caught you get thrown in a dank pit masquerading as a mental hospital.

Personally, I'd rather head over to Central and try to fight the Flash.

>>87827026
>>87827056
Yeah! Batman is a huge jerk! Bruce Wayne may be a womanizer but at least he cares about poor people. Batman should take a few lessons from him.

>>87830051
To be fair, most people in-universe tend to assume that Batman's a terrifying vampire or something, not a baseline human operating out of his parent's basement.

>>87829770
I remember there was a story where Clark goes to jail to have a interview with Lex and while Lex exercise he start to tell Clark how man work hard for what they have, how the adapt to the situation they're in, saying that Superman and his alien perfection makes him sick and tell him "Touch my arm Clark, pure human hard work, nothing given to me by alien genetics

>>87830176
all star superman?

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>>87829770
>Lex can never be as good as Superman.
>He can't.
>Because he wasn't born to be.

Yeah? Tell that to Superman!

>>87830302
I don't remember well, i was expecting to someone to know where it come from to read it again

>>87829409

In settings where Superman is evil, most of the time Lex isn't even a criminal. As >>87829770
states, something about Supes sets off a primal hatred in him that turns him from an aloof person to a total irrational dick.

>>87829971
Honestly he should be in Rebirth. It's the perfect opportunity: Lex is a hero and they both have the connection of missing their Superman.

>>87827066
If you ignore all the nanites in the food.

>>87829409
You are so thoroughly wrong and deluded it's pathetic.

>>87827026
I feel like most of the time you can assume he has Alfred go out and give uneaten food to the local bums.

>>87830676
Hi, Lex.

>>87827221
Can't see shit captain.

>>87830676
It depends on the version.

>>87826719
Will Damian eat a turkey now that he has such an affinity for animals?

>>87826719
Alfred makes a full spread. Turkey, Potatoes. Fiddleheads. Three different kinds of pie. Marshmallow stuff. The whole mesh.

Bruce takes like half a bite of turkey, grunts, and then runs off to the Batcave and spends the rest of the night driving around Gotham desperately looking for something to do until Black Friday riots start happening/getting attacked or enhanced by supervillains (Calender Man, especially)

Dick digs in, thanks Alfred, and, if age appropriate, bangs Kori and/or Babs,who came in as a date.

Jason, if there, starts arguments about being the least favoured child. Or about the afterlife, being the first one to have experienced it.

Tim, being the 'normal one' generally enjoys himself, and tries to avoid getting sad about how much integrating himself into the Batfamily has cost him, parents wise.

Damian complains about the food, but takes like quadruple portions and yells at everyone for not letting him have enough.

Kate is Jewish, and therefore does not celebrate Thanksgiving. Instead, he engages in the Jewish Thanksgiving tradition of having Indian food and going to a laser rock show at the Gotham Planetarium.

>>87832697
....that's christmas.

>>87832729
No, Christmas is Chinese and a Movie.

>>87829469
It's how Lex sees himself at least. Thing is, every time Supes dies or disappears, Lex carries on being a fucknut. So, Supes isn't the x factor here.

>>87829770
His actions in 52 and during the aftermath of Death of Superman both counteract this idea. Lex would bee a prick, Superman or not. It's just with Superman alive, he's got a focus for his dickery instead of just spreading it all over the general area.

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>No one has posted this yet

You're all disappointments to your families.

>>87827822

Wish we seen more of Batman's influence on Gotham other than just seeing him attend charities. Want to see crime rates actually dropping because of affordable homes and more jobs.

>>87827026
>prevent the city from blowing up every month
>yeah but what about ACTUALLY helping?!

This reminds me of the last issue of Tec

>>87832995
There was a period a couple years ago when Jeremiah Arkham was appearing in books a lot and almost always these scenes had him meeting with Bruce or an entire board of directors Bruce is on, because he's constantly pumping money into the place trying to fix that revolving door problem and it never makes a difference.

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>>87827078
>Bat-logo shaped hole in the mashed potates, filled with gravy

>>87827078
> No just dessert


Worst Thanksgiving ever

>>87830388

If a pig puts on lipstick, it's still very much a pig.

>>87832880

Lil Gotham is a fever dream by someone who think all the Robins looks identical and Poison Ivy and HQ are nice girls. It was designed for 5-8 year olds whose parents are the kind that took their kids to see DEADPOOL in spite of the clear R rating because they thought it was another Marvel movie.

>>87830097
>Just like, a 1 ton range guy
>Barely even registers on super-strength
>But could punch Batman's head off
Bruce has multiple enemies in that range actually

>>87829770
so he read The Fountainhead

>>87836589
What's that about?

>>87836374
Bane, Grundy, and who else?

>>87826719
He goes to Arkham and makes a thanksgiving dinner for the inmates.

>>87827056
Says the moron who probably never read Batman.
Someone post the story that shows a day in the life of Bruce Wayne to shut this faggot down.

>>87832697
>Jews don't celebrate thanksgiving
Nani?

>>87838641
Batman himself is said to have an upper limit of 1 ton

>>87830434
He was right, the story you're thinking of was All Star Superman.

>>87830097
Isn't Bane basically what you just described?

>>87838641
Clayface probably
Anything that forces him to break out the BatMech

>>87838835
Batman doesn't fight himself regularly though.

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>>87836335
but now a fuckable pig.