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EmpStoryAnon
"Empowered" Storytime #6.5 2016-11-11 20:38:20 Post No. 87627703
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"Empowered" Storytime #6.5 2016-11-11 20:38:20 Post No. 87627703
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Previous thread: >>87484726
We're back!
"Empowered" is Adam Warren's ongoing graphic novel series following the adventures of the titular (insecure) superheroine. Expect laughs, satire of the superhero genre, and drama out of left field.
Oh, and a bit of bondage.
Feel free to comment and respond as much as you like - discussion is what makes a storytime fun, after all. If it goes for a while without anyone other than me posting, a bump would obviously be appreciated.
Last time, things got, quote, "even death-ier". Time to lighten the mood in the only way possible - with a break from the canon main story. Let's hope it works!
What you'll be seeing today are three single-issue-length stories, which comprise the first half of the collection "Empowered Unchained". I'll do the other three once we've got a couple more of the proper volumes under our belts.
Kicking things off with the first story, "The Wench With a Million Sighs". This was first published a short while after Volume 5 was released.
>>
Welcome back, EmpStoryAnon! Thank you for the storytime and helping me to forget the madness, if only for a moment!
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>>87627703
This page you're probably pretty familiar with by now.
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>>87627786
Right into the action. Shit's going down in the supergraveyard!
>>87627753
As your storytime host, I'm honour-bound to remain non-partisan. Glad to help, whatever your affiliation!
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>>87627831
This guy, he's got moxy! Messed Rivet up but good.
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>>87627850
Solid battlebantersmanship.
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>>87627876
Waldo: noun. A remote-controlled device for handling or manipulating objects.
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>>87627897
Appropriate tombstone.
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>>87627920
Given the title, you shouldn't be surprised to see this guy.
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>>87627939
Yup, he's still very tight with Mrs. Powers.
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>>87627955
>Rivet coffee mug
Is there anything she doesn't have with his face on it?
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>>87627983
Even after it's acknowledged in-universe, people still criticise her lips like it's an art-style blunder.
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>>87628013
Or not-so-figurative.
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>>87628040
Remember the FAIL meme? It seems so quaint now. There but for the grace of god go our finest memes.
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>>87628056
Oops, speaking of failure. My bad.
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>>87628182
Thugboy cornering the market on Yoda-related bedroom punwork.
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>>87628273
>rolling hills
C'mon, she's got a complex!
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>>87628310
>Secret beta tendencies
Like D&D?
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>>87628338
Never believe for a moment when reading this comic that you've already seen the most ridiculous superhero/villain possible.
Warren will always top himself.
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>>87628387
Those are just some great waldoes. Top notch.
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>>87628416
The supergraveyard really needs a security upgrade.
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>>87628438
Too much inspiring advice!
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>>87628469
Huh. She does the brackets stuff when she writes too, apparently.
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>>87628498
>It's like kanji!
Reel in the weebitude there, Warren.
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>>87628631
Reading DW's dialogue sure is good for expanding the ol' vocabulary.
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>>87628669
I guess he has a thing about spelling whupass the 'right' way.
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Yess I've been waiting for this to resume
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>>87628697
Ah, the ol' dust-cloud-hero-shroud.
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>>87628723
Sometimes genius gets in its own way. There's a lesson there.
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>>87628742
Don't sully your victory with daddy issues, Emp.
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>>87628767
I wanna grow up to be a masochist, daddy!
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>>87628792
Bondage: fun AND educational!
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>>87628825
To be honest I think he's got you there, Emp.
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>>87628850
>Cool.
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>>87628880
Forging straight ahead to our second story of the evening, I present to you "Ten Questions for the Maidman". This is post-Volume 6.
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>>87628920
Skipping the recap page. This story is about half black-and-white pages (Adam Warren) and half colour pages (Emily Warren [no relation]).
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>>87628942
Even his name strikes fear into the hearts of criminals. They're a superstitious and cowardly lot.
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>>87628982
No argument here.
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>>87629008
A fujoshi feast for the eyes.
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>>87629044
And the Maidman does not tolerate furries.
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>>87629076
Maidman doesn't give a fuck. Righteous.
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>>87629118
How is he so based, I can't handle it.
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>>87629147
Too late, Thugboy, I already beat you to that Batman reference. Find another.
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>>87629169
He's really rubbing off on her.
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>>87629203
Cut Shithouse Rat a break.
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>>87629221
>Utility minidress
Sure, why not.
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>>87629279
>"distressed"
Haha.
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>>87629302
He's doing half her work without even being there. He's that good.
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>>87629321
So true.
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>>87629341
Maybe Batman could get rid of the Joker, the Riddler, and the Penguin if he flashed some panty too.
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>>87629371
Yeah, so not totally like Batman.
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>>87629394
Holy fuck he was playing the long con all along guys.
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>>87629416
Nice janissary trivia, Emp.
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>>87629430
WPWMDJ
Go on a talk show to confront a retired supervillain, apparently.
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>>87629487
Acting real innocent there, Blitzcraig.
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>>87629518
Ooooohh.
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>>87629535
Unf.
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>>87629551
Probably pretty hard.
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>>87629592
You should have heard plan #7. It was a doozy.
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>>87629625
Huh, he understood her.
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>>87629642
>He's really behind you!
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>>87629697
>*HOOG*
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>>87629723
Even his housekeeping pun game is top notch.
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>>87629740
What was 'that thing', anons?
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>>87629808
Finally, the last story of the evening: "Hell Bent or Heaven Sent".
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>>87629832
90% chance he sponsors that sportsdrink.
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>>87629851
>Bweeee
What did he mean by this?
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>>87629876
Colour pages in this story by Ryan Kinnaird.
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>>87629895
Rust is like getting cancer for robot capes. They're terrified of it.
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>>87629922
I can see how you'd miss something like sleeping.
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>>87629945
Those darn alien nanoviruses.
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>>87629967
>Bweee
So THAT'S what he meant by that.
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>>87629985
Sexy time.
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>>87629999
Rivet trying extremely hard to put a stop to this.
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>>87630040
If you were after Rule 63 Rivet, look no further.
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>>87630059
Hoo boy.
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>>87630081
>Rivet's 'nips'
L-lewd!
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>>87630100
Quickly! The next FSHOOM or FSHINGG could be your last!
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>>87630059
I'm pretty sure I read a porn that followed this exact plot
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>>87630124
Alright guys, let's play fornicate/nuptialate/killerate, women of "Empowered" edition.
Spooky/Mindfuck/Tall-Robot-Hat-Lady
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>>87630242
At least he seems to be immunised against it now. Also, inb4 the cause of it is him robojacking off onto everything in the place because of boredom.
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>>87630276
Oh. Well maybe not totally immunised, huh?
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>>87630296
Yeah. Pretty messed up. But also kind of... what's the word?Sexy time!
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>>87630315
It's called improvisation, Mechanismo. Live with it.
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>>87630352
Ruh roh.
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>>87630415
Motherfucking bweeee.
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>>87630446
>Whistling intensifies
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>>87630480
I was pretty close!
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>>87630504
Dammit Mechanismo, if you don't understand the popup, just click X.
Also, previous page: Emp positively ID'd the tits as Spooky's. Make of that what you will.
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>>87630546
He can't read the menu's. Their in alien.
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>>87630546
That's some pretty neat software. Maybe one day.
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>>87630585
Why, yes it is.
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>>87630617
Nothing more dangerous than a self-replicating harem.
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>>87630638
Don't feel too bad, Mechanismo. No one ever bothers to take the time to system image until it's too late.
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>>87630689
I don't think they have the intelligence to be self-aware, Emp.
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>>87630617
Ya know, in an ideal scenario she would earn some major respect for all this and he could humbly request that she use this little ability to help him study and more or less learn a lot of his menu options. But the superhomeys are a bunch of douchebags so I doubt it'll end that way.
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>>87630727
Jesus Christ how horrifying.
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>>87630761
Yeah, but mechanismo seems less of a douche and more self aware than the others. He acts like a 20 year old robot, with little actual hostility.
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>>87630770
And that's all for tonight. Next time, we'll crack on with Volume 7. Not sure when it'll be, but it's never too long. Until then, adios!
And as always, thanks for reading.
>>
>>87630770
Farewell sexy time Captain Rivet. You were too good for this world.
Thanks for the storytime op. These break stories were a lot of fun, but I'm looking forward to getting back into the meat of the main story.
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>>87629922
More like a really bad rash.
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>>87630504
Mechanismo is trying to create the sexiest woman in the world. The absolute madmech.
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>>87629535
Huh. Just realized Wet Blanket was a Bargainer.
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>>87629221
'Jette is a fujo too, huh?
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>>87628942
I see this is a popular brand name.
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>>87633696
nah hot clothes are just hot no matter who wears them
same as handsome clothes like suits still look handsome on ladies, guys in frilly shit is cute
but you gotta find the guy cute or the lady handsome to notice the bonus they get from the clothing
>>
>>87627831
Am I imagining things or is Syndablokk one of the few superhomies who is not a shit to Emp?
Been a while since I read the first two volumes.
Thansk for the storytime, OP.
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>>87628387
>SHR
Oh lol, did NOT see that coming.
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>>87634380
Nah, he's alright
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>>87630480
>Emp and Spook having girl chat time
f-friends now?
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>>87630727
>"It's gotta suck existing solely to be some douchebro's fapping fodder"
Dialogue spoken by a character who --
well.
>>
>>87627703
thanks for storytiming this series
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>>87629832
i'd never read this one, thanks
>>87629851
>emp's costume isn't in shreds
whoa
when does this one take place?
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>>87628013
>fish-lipped
They're clearly Vienna Sausages.
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>>87627703
I WANT TO BULLY EMP!!
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>>87637566
emp is not for bullying
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>>87637957
emp's asscheeks were made to be slapped around until she cries.
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>>87627703
YOU'RE DOING GOD'S WORK, ANON
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>>87629076
How based can one man be?
>>
If her suit forms to her body so tightly she has to shave her pubic hair and can't wear underware, why isn't her vagina outlined like spats in a hentai manga?
>>
>>87639444
Some day we'll get the legendary cameltoe explanation.
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>>87628387
I laughed really fucking hard at this
>>
bumping for glory
>>
Has she ever actually been topless or had sex in an issue?
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>>87640762
No, no nipples yet. You freaking perv.
But Demonwolf describes Emp and Thugboy's sexual escapades in lurid detail.
>>
>>87628013
>Even after it's acknowledged in-universe, people still criticise her lips like it's an art-style blunder.
Pretty sure that's a result of Warren's own egosurfing, folks were going on about the fishlips all the time a few years ago, he's since toned it down a little
>>
>>87628182
Jesus EMP if you go to sleep at 2:00AM you cannot get up at 7:00AM, shit's not healthy
>>
>>87628387
Shithouse Rat deserves an ongoing.
He's a legacy super, iirc, that means there's a new SHR out there
>>
>>87628416
>Those are just some great waldoes. Top notch.
They are YUGE, like his hands. Not tiny at ALL.
>>
>>87630124
Spanish languge swears don't get bleeped out I see
coño means cunt, fyi
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>>87641404
That's nearly always the case with censorship, only a country's most dominant language gets censored. Like how the FCC doesn't give a shit about spanish radio stations.
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>>87641533
Yeah, it's hard to make out but I'm almost 100% sure Mas y Menos actually say "fuck" on air in the teen titans
This is a weird one since it's Warren's self imposed artistic decision to censor, and he definitely knows what is being said (He's pretty accurate with foreign swears, there's a Canadian guy saying "tabarnak" in a DP comic)
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>>87627703
>see name of the comic
>think it's some self-published or Marvel-backed tumblr shit
>it's pretty good
Never judge a comic by its cover I guess.
>>
>>87641572
It really is great, and I'm happy /co has finally come around, there's about 10 volumes and a bunch of standalone floppies like the ones posted on this thread, and the author is serializing it from the beginning as a webcomic here http://www.empoweredcomic.com/ though there have been several storytimes here
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>>87641561
Because his native english speakers know exactly what's behind those censor bars, it's the equivalent of bleeping for comedy. They're much less likely to be familiar with spanish or whatever language swearing and will likely fill in an english swear instead if he attempts the same thing, which would fuck up the character's "voice".
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>>87641622
Ah yes, you're right. I do understand it so it stands out, but if I didn't it would be impossible to figure out C*** or ***O (Well not impossible but it's not used the same way in English)
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>>87629895
>Ryan Kinnaird
pic related
>>87641052
>he's since toned it down a little
He actually went back and redrew some of the lips for the most recent collected volume. Shit was getting out of control.
>>
>>87642611
Kinnaird is the perfect pick for that particular story tho, him and Warren are bros, but Adam's got his number...
>>
>>87627955
>>87627983
Does Emp's mom even know who she's talking to?
>>
>>87643023
Unlikely... I'd always figured DW pretends to be a roommate, and lends a sympathetic ear to She Who Begat Her, but then again mom knows what she does, it's not like she needs to keep secrets... I don't think it's something we're ever going to be shown clearly anyhow.
If Empowered goes on long enough, I could see "Demonwolf escapes" as some kind of climactic endgame for the series, we've seen Warren isn't above turning a former joke character (Spooky's ISP) into a seriously evil threat, and DW started out being precisely that.
>>
>>87630228
Oh come on, we've all read porn like that.
>>
>>87641057
Pfft, I do that all the time, sometimes I go to bed even later, and I'm still okay.
>>
>>87640762
She has sex like 20 times a volume.
There's one page in vol 6 where every single panel is a separate instance of her having sex.
...it's less sexy than you'd think though. Especially when she's talking about how she wants to put her finger in her boyfriend's butt.
>>
>>87647515
I fail to see how that makes anything any less sexy
>>
>>87647612
Smelly hands?
>>
bamp
>>
>>87630770
Good news: you've been saved from forced assimilation into a mindless nanotech horde followed by cleansing, fiery death.
Bad news: your entire fap-bank has been deleted.
TY for storytime OP.
>>
>>87649059
Soap exists
>>
>>87651013
Yeah, but it's not something you want to have to do right in the middle of fucking.
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>>87651038
I kinda wanna see it happen, for the comedic effect of Emp taking her finger out and realizing it's covered with poo
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>>87651484
Why do these threads always have to get weird after the storytime is over?
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>>87628469
>Get wild and tough
Patrician taste, Warren. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84GYa28nZcY
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>>87629625
But didn't he technically already clean up his act via becoming a productive member of society?
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>>87652396
Except he never answered for his crimes in the first place.
And I think you're giving him more credit than he deserves if you regard a talk-show host as being a productive member of society. Piers Morgan is a talk-show host.
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>>87631931
Somehow that just makes his power even lamer.
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>>87630807
I find this to be highly hypocritical when Emp mas a massive porn collection of all of her male colleagues.
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>>87652522
Answering for your crimes is entirely different from cleaning up your act.
Clean up your act does not imply go to jail. it implies to stop doing bad stuff and live your life properly.
Even if he's a talk show host he still has a job and (barring unwritten backstory saying otherwise) managed to be completely legitimate at his work. The talk show could have been utter garbage (although the fact that he did a decent/good job at the interview shows otherwise) and he still would technically be a productive member of society if he payed his taxes or donated to charity.
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>>87629076
Smart man
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>>87630059
This is a guest artist isn't it? Reminds me of the most reviled X-Men comic ever known to man.I still fapped to his pin-ups.
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