What is it about organizations like Hydra, Shocker, Cobra, Zeon,

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Neat outfits.

>>87483333
Rock bottom standards of employment. Where you get to wield guns, and get involved in shenanigans.

Every day is a new adventure.

>>87483333

They seek out people who have a shitty lot in life, convince them that its because of [insert demographic perceived to be in some nebulous position of power] who is intentionally making your life worse and is the true cause of all your ills, and then say that once you get rid of [demographic] and the new world order is in charge then everything will be better and you will be a hero whose sacrifices for the cause will be remembered for generations.

The same way radical groups recruit people in the real world. The wording changes, who to blame changes, but the method doesn't.

>>87483333
Sometimes it's fun being the bad guys.

Neat outfits and/or hot leaders.

>>87483333
Dental

>>87483333
boring good guys

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>>87483333
Recruitment is handled by women that dress like this.

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>>87483362

Cobra
-Cool Uniforms
-Scifi-ish vehicles.
-Baroness

vs

Gi-joe
-Generic marines
-Dull looking vehicles.

Cobra just has a dope as fuck logo. Hydra's is pretty bad ass too

They are right

>>87483479
do you rekcon that's part of the recruitment process? everyone gets a go.

>>87483333
Seems like they would have good benefits like medical and a decent 401 k plan

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So tell me how many of you would join such a group if any of them were real? Don't lie.

>>87483535
The GI Joes don't have uniforms, the toys all look different.

>>87486255
Realistically speaking I would be cannon fodder for Snake-Eyes or someone to slaughter

>>87484915
She probably just teases them. They join because they think maybe someday she'll touch them.

>>87483410
See, that's what I like about revolutionary communists.

They do the same but they strip out all the excess stuff that doesn't make sense.

>Why are you miserable? You have no money or power.

>Who do you fight to fix this? People with money and power.

Simple and straightforward. They don't go after any particular race or creed, or try to draw any weird correlations. It's pure unadulterated class struggle with no bullshit.

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>Not wanting to be a Xtacle
>Not wanting to be a Klok-A-Teer


Good guy organizations are worth it too.

You could ask that about any gang or terror group.

>>87483410

Pretty much this. Also, a sense of community they're missing. You're now PART of something. You BELONG here.

>You will never impress Baroness by unleashing the weather dominator.

>>87486672
Like Destro will let you get near her. That nigga will suplex your ass.

>>87483456
Medical Dental 401k Advanced Degree Training Place to Live in a Planned Community

Perks of Cobra.

>>87486310
There are grunts same with Cobra but more often than not they are not called into service.

>>87486333
Just be a TeleViper or work Support back in Springfield or at the Shell Corporation run by the Twins.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kha63bVVlUM

>>87483456
Damn it, came her to post this

>>87483333
Because a cool militaristic society run by insane awsome psycopayhs whod be willing to give me a job is a great thing.

What kind of tools are required to remove Baroness's armor?

>>87488491
Cobra Commander does give a good pitch to the American People and Springfield is a model community.

>>87488568
She's got one of those devices that sews her into the suit each morning.

She me mighty sweaty at the end of the day.

>>87486255
I probably wouldn't join Shadowloo, but definitely Cobra or Hydra.

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>>87486441
>mfw there will never be more Xtacles

What are the best runs/issues for baroness fanservice?

>>87483333

Nazi fetishism.

>Taking a wiz in Cobra unisex bathroom urinal.
>Baroness walks through the room and enters a stall with a sense of urgency, high heels clicking along the way.
>Clicks door latch behind her.
>Hear an audible sigh of frustration from stall.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound from stall.
>Brief silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound again.
>Brief silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound a third time.
>Brief silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound another time.
>Sound of metal plate clanking as it is placed on the floor.
>Clicking of screws being placed in plate for safe keeping.
>Toilet use noises and a huge sigh of relief from the stall.
>Toilet flush, and the sound of high heels standing up.
>A second flush.
>Metal plate scraping floor as it is lifted from floor.
>A long silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound from stall.
>Another long silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound again.
>Sound of small metal screw falling into water and muted clicking against porcelain.
>"Fucking damn fuck!!"
>Try to hold in your own laughter.
>Sound of muted swearing and water splashing.
>A long silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound from stall.
>Another long silence.
>Mechanical ratcheting sound again.
>The latch on the stall clicks unlocked.
>Try to look serious as you face the urinal.
>Baroness casually clicks her heals across the floor while she makes her way to the sink.
>She pumps the soap dispenser and scrubs.
>One of her hands she spends an noticeably long amount of time washing.
>She pumps the soap again and washes her hands a second time.
>She dries at the air dryer.
>As Baroness finally moves towards the exit, she pauses and looks in your direction.
>"You should maybe see a doctor, you've been pissing a long time."
>She casually leaves the room.

>>87483362
>>87483376
Well yeah being in Cobra is dangerous but it depends what Cobra we're talking about.

Is it ARAH Cartoon Cobra? You're in a terrorist organization that allows you file for unemployment in the US because Tomax and Xamot somehow allowed for that to happen. Plus in the Terrordome you get a pool, a gym, and other facilities for personal recreation, and ocassionally you get to see your enemies being pit at each other in Gladiator combat at the arena.

Also equal opportunity employment, Cobra doesn't discriminate.

If it's the ARAH Cobra comic you and your family get to live in a nice town called Springfield in the US.

I mean if you're gonna be canon fodder for any terrorist organization might as well make it Cobra, Hydra and the others are just going to kill you, at least Cobra gives you some perks before you die of whatever it is that you die of (and you might even get a grave).

>>87483479
>>87486774
>>87486827
>>87488823
>>87489908
So Cobra seems to be the best organization to join huh?

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>>87489333
Baroness hates public restrooms though, she probably even has her own private one.

>>87489991

I'm more of a Guild of Calamitous Intent kind of guy.

I have an idea for a comic about a guy who joins a HYDRA like organization and climbs the ranks and eventually causes a civil war within the organization because the power goes to his head.

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>>87483333
Best organization ever?
Best organization ever.

>>87486412
>It's pure unadulterated class struggle with no bullshit.

That's cute

>>87490098
When you gotta go, you gotta go.

>>87492469
Did they actually get all that?

>>87492759
The fact that COBRA is alive and well proves so.

>>87490514
Well as long as its stable it seems like its doing its job keeping the balance. Overall it seems closer to Villain Retirement Club than for Active Full Time Villainy, lest for those at the Top.

>>87489991
Overall its for the most paths for advancement and its equal opportunity.

>>87486255
Cobra yes. Nobody ever dies and I'd get to use cool sci-fi gadgets and play hockey. Seems like not-awful work and it's somehow a legitimate US corp so I can put it on my resume.
Hydra no. I don't want to get the shit beaten out of me or get straight murdered by people in colorful fetish gear on a weekly basis.
I know nothing about Street Fighter.

>>87494986
Seems like if you were working for Hydra, they would still let you keep your Cobra job. Two paychecks.

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Is Shadowloo even comparable to the others? It doesn't have a direct presence in the main media.

>>87494986
No one dies in Street Fighter except Chun Li's dad and Guile's friend Charlie

At most you'll be knocked out

>>87486255
if they had a serious chance at succeeding at something I would join a white supremacist group

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>>87483333
Same reason half of America is ready to vote for Trump.

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>>87483535
You left out:
-Boss nicknames

>>87495392
Now that's being unfair to Cobra.

>>87486480
Gangs and terror groups in the modern world accomplish jack shit and just kill each other with no actual gains. Nigs kill nigs, mudslimes kill mudslimes, and when they kill whites they get scorched to fuck and back.

A nig goes to jail as a teen, and has a 1 in 4 chance of being sexually assaulted.

A mudslime goes to the battlefield, and lives a life in a cave battling tapeworms and other parasites just for the glory of a bunch of fucking words written in a 1500 year old book.

>>87495392
that's a damn good reason though

>>87495153
I have heard that Bison treats his grunts very well (the idea being as long as you do your job you're okay in his book) but I dunno the source.

>>87486255
I would definitely join shadwloo
>only get beat up by world warriors
>eventually will get turned into super soldier
>PSYCHOH CRUSHAH!

>>87498229
why would they search for bad men? no one really considers themselves bad. even hardcore racists think they'd do the good and right thing in killing off all blacks etc so why appeal to something they don't think they are? recruitment successes would be close to zero

>>87483333

Because people like to feel part of something bigger than themselves. Misguided or not. Men are most miserable when they're aimless and feel like nothing matters.

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>>87483333
>Shocker
>implying that they give you a choice
They didn't have him strapped to that table for his safety, you know.

Wait a second this entire thread is just a Cobra Recruitment Ad!

>>87483456
What's the origin of this,and why specifically dental?

>>87486935
>they shelled out for the keith david voice over
are we sure gi joe are the good guys?

>>87483333
>Be apart of something greater than yourself
>good pay
>great bennies
>chance of sudden death balanced by chance of sudden superhuman enhancement
Why wouldn't people find them appealing?

>>87498457
that girl in the last panel looked like a furry at first

>>87498542
There became a practice by companies when they gave insurance to not include dental in order to cut down costs. So a large number pf people found out the hard way that they didn't have dental insurance despite having general health insurance.

Became something that would be drilled into people's head's by employment agencies and schools to always make sure to check if they provide dental with your medical insurance. Also became a line used by companies when they were headhunting potential employees.

>>87498542
>>87498703
Likewise, dental work can be horribly expensive. In my neck of the woods a root canal and the crown to cap it costs roughly $2000.

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>>87492469
agreed

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>>87486255
Isn't that basically what ISIS is?

>>87489908
>If it's the ARAH Cobra comic you and your family get to live in a nice town called Springfield in the US.

Imagine if it was the Simpsons' Springfield

>>87500059
Clearly I should read Hama's GI Joe.

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>>87483333
>not SURRENDERING
it's like you want to PAY THE CONSEQUENCES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO2Cd9tyUvY

>>87500121
Early ISIS before they formed a state dedicated to the murder of women and homosexuals.

Not its the ISIS Rebels like the 60 year old Sharp Shoots and the crew that decapitates whomever is their newest head executioner

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>>87483333
Bison seems like he'd be a fun boss.
Just look at that smile.

>>87486255
What are the odds of Chun Li putting me in a headlock using her thighs if I join Shadowloo?

>>87501950
Honestly, it's unlikely anyone in this thread could survive a kick to the head from Ms. Thunder Thighs.

>>87483333
everyone loves hitler

>>87483333
They are tenacious underdogs that have interesting plans.

>>87500477
Definitely, it's totally the opposite and exactly what you expect at the same time.

>>87486255
I'd join Cobra. I'd get to be a research scientist splitting his time between reverse-engineering found technology for medical miracle mass-production (Immortality! Now only causing snakeskin in 10% of lab trials! Nemesis Enforcer pills! Not an actual steroid! Now only causing bat wings in 8% of lab trials!) and trying to use that technology to make better laser gun parts. And every month, the lowest-preforming lab Sectors "gets" to go on a bank robbery!

It's too bad How to Succeed in Evil doesn't publish more often. It was a good comic, too.
http://succeedinevil.com/books/
Would you work for the only straight-thinking, sane-oriented, competent man in a superhero world?

>>87483333
They're mustache twirling evil, which is everyone's cup of tea.

>>87498436
That's one qt snek

>>87483333
>Zeon
My Gundam knowledge is pretty weak, but wasn't Zeon just the most distant colonized planets planets breaking off from Earth Government. Not a terrorist group based on world domination like Hydra or Cobra

>>87495742
>source
TVTropes.

>>87486255
Reminds me of that one anon who answered Cobra when he was asked by the airport immigration if he was part of any terrorist organization

>>87509104
What happened to him?

>>87509298
detained for 8 hours after shouting cobralalala while being carried away

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>>87509323

>>87486255
Nice try NSA you're not getting me like this.

>>87509357
Funny thing was it wasnt his fault he was only singled out and questioned because he had the same name of some terrorist who on the no fly list

>>87508009
Well up until there method of rebelling was bombing the earth with Space Colonies. Shit kinda went off the rails on that one.

>>87507776
Podcast was great too. I really miss the period of Thematic Podcast being plentiful.

Some good Star Trek fan ones and then some Batman and Superman serial series.

Especially since Nightvale jumped the shark and went to shit.

>>87509323
Now see that's just those underground lizard people Cobra-La. No connection to actual Cobra.

>>87509416
Nah they'd only reaction if you said you had friends in a place that rhymes with Lussia and a man that rhymes with Lutin

>>87510106
>Now see that's just those underground lizard people Cobra-La. No connection to actual Cobra.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUw8cN6R8o0
thanks for correcting the record 10,000,000 cobra dollars has been deposited in your account

>>87510197
Noice time to hit the Antarctic Spa.

also

Mindbender's test tube baby can go jump a short pier, into a bay of sharks.

>>87486255
No. I might end up being hired by one of their front companies only to have GI Joe or SHIELD or Interpol or whoever break down my door and demand I tell them everything I know.

>>87498404

It was the 80s, dude. He's trying to appeal to the youth demographic where BAD means good, for some reason.

Do you know how many keyboard /k/ommandos like me would jump at the chance to go from their shitty NEET lifestyle to OPERATING?
>pros:
>have place to eat and sleep, rent-free
>get handed some crazy gun bristling with missiles and/or lasers
>ride a six-rotored heli-tank into battle with your battle bros
>knock obnoxious ultranationalists down a peg and steal/blow up/kidnap their shit
>all this for a decent wage
>cons:
>your new home WILL get the same treatment, since this whole conflict is somewhere between a frat rivalry and a gang war
>there's a good chance you'll die though let's face it-- if you're here, you were seeking death anyway

>>87486441

>>You will never join Machete squad

>>you will never be a Deceptacle

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>>87483333
>ctrl+f
>no nod
>no kaine
PEACE THROUGH POWER

>>87483333
>Join Shocker
>Get your grunt uniform and get to EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>fucking Riders always appearing
>fuck what, Great Leader is A KAMEN RIDER
>WHAT A TWEESST
>get punched by said leader later on
At least being a Shocker grunt means free Nissin Cup Noodles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlWotouHTf8&feature=youtu.be

>also joining Zeon
ahahaha

>>87498457
Which GI Joe series is this from?

>>87512054

The Devil's Due comics follow on from Hama's original run.

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>>87511920
Such is life in Shocker

https://youtu.be/sNDulbcSSL8

>>87512072
But the canonicity of these comics in IDW ARAH is open-ended and up to the fans.

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>>Be in Cobra

>>get to wear the ballin Viper uniform

Totally worth getting your ass kicked by G.I Joe

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>>87512196

>>87500201
All Springfields (even the real ones) are the same town shifting through time and space like the island from Lost.

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Don't know about the others, but HYDRA doesn't seem to bad. You'll have Viper lusting after you if you work for her

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>>87512267
And if you get promoted you get to go to parties with hot college girls working as obediant servants in skimpy dresses.

>>87500478
Spiral Zone was up there with Inhumanoids in the "tacky Reagan-era toy commerical shows that actually had dark as fuck storylines" category.

>>87512274
Caselli seems to have a thing for women with short hair and curvy body in skimpy outifits. Bless him. The Domino Mask secretary in Secret Warriors was the best.

>>87512072
Cool. Might have to check those out.

>>87486255
SIEG ZEON

>>87511877
>Kaine
You'll be executed just like that guy from Lost.
>tfw Kane won C&C
How will GDIdiots ever recover?

>>87500121
He looks like a Metal Gear boss

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>>87511920
10/10

>>87514305
had Kojima been able to continue I could see a series of bosses with construction equipment code names.

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>>87514058
Glory to Zeon!

Once the Big Zam is mass produced.

>>87483333
>What is ISIS
>What is Boko Haram
>What is the USArmy

Everybody wants to rule the world.

>>87486255

It would be directly proportional to my chances of working in a position that interacts with one of the top bosses. Because almost all of them are pretty hot.

>>87486255

In a haeartbeat.

>>87495181
Don't forget Dan's dad.

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>>87483333
They follow the code, anon.

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>>87514305