Just put my dog down today, can we have a /co/ humor thread please.

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>>87474882

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>>87474882
Before humans die, they write their last will and testament, giving their home and all they have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I’d ask…

To a poor and lonely stray, I’d give my happy home; my bowl and cozy bed, soft pillow and all my toys; the lap, which I loved so much; the hand that stroked my fur; and the sweet voice that spoke my name.

I’d will to the sad, scared, shelter dog the place I had in my human’s loving heart, of which there seemed no bounds.

So, when I die, please do not say, “I will never have a pet again, for the loss and the pain is more than I can stand.”

Instead, go find an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope, and give my place to him.

This is the only thing I can give…

The love I left behind.

– Author Unknown

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>>87474939
Damn.

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>>87475046

>>87474882
Someone storytime WE3

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>>87474882
>>87475046
A shame Oglaf has been mostly miss lately, although it does seem to be picking up a little again.

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>>87474882

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>>87475262
Also, obligatory Chick reference, given his recent passing.

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What kind of humor do you like, OP?

>>87475292

humor me

But seriously, like 4chan stories and what not.

>>87475313
That was screen capped by you,who are the person who posted that "I HAVE THE RING" post, and you are the person who is spamming Jimmy Neutron across /co/ and /v/.

>>87475046
We need more Boob window rogue

>>87474882

Jeez, you had to put your dog down? I'm so sorry Anon, that's gotta be pretty ruff.

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>>87475574
Wasn't me.

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>>87474939
A-anon please

>>87474882
I'm sorry Anon.

>>87475262
Ok I laughed pretty hard at that one

>>87474882
that fuckin sucks anon. i'm sorry to hear it. i'm sure you gave that animal love and a good live.

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>>87475672
That was cold anon, OP is gonna beat you up. You'd better flea.

>>87475350
8 years, it's still funny

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My captcha just told me to stop. Are any of these entertaining?

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I love not using the catalog, you find a lot of funny stuff.

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Okay that's all I got

>>87474912
how did he give it a black eye without breaking the glasses?

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>>87475631

>>87476056
Thanks man I enjoyed it.

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this one always gets me

>>87476321
Wow, the only one of those I remember is the cat with tits

>>87476080
He took them off. No use ruining a good 200 dollar pair over a correction of the woman.

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>>87476503

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>>87476521

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>>87476549

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>>87476011
I always find those caps of derailed threads hilarious

>>87476743
Fucking Christ, I remember that comic too. I really need to read through that Calvin and Hobbes comic book I have one of these days.

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>>87476686
Then you might like this.

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I found some more

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Still my favorite looney tunes gag

>>87476080
>you only get one pair of glasses in your lifetime

>>87475354
I wonder how often Superboy Prime browses /co/

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>>87474882
Sure I'll bite.

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>>87474882
Sorry to hear that anon.

>>87479486
God, I love this.

>>87474882
You have my condolences.

>>87479731
It took me a moment to realize what happened

and then another moment to realize green doesn't look happy because he just realized he is next.

>>87479731
The expressions of green and blue are what really make this a great comic.

>>87474882
More anti-christian propaganda by SJW cucks...

>>87480072
Thank goodness that was censored, someone may have been offended.

>>87480371
Censored cause Japanese law is dumb

>>87474882
So, wait, does God smite the enemy, or does God smite the general's own camp? I can't tell.

>>87474882
I went through something similar this time last year anon, keep strong

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This one'll always hold a special place in my heart.

>>87474882
This comic should have ended after the first two panels

>>87476373
>woman

>>87475290
kek

>>87475262
He was wise not to heed that fox. Some random talking animal walks up and offers to solve all your problems, that's how all the most fucked up fairy tales start off, seriously. Deceitful fairies and their bullshit and their shady bargains. Hooker method is straightforward and normal. When faced with weird magical shit, always try to find your way back to what's normal.

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>>87476033
Someone screened my shoop! :>

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>>87477130

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>>87481408

>>87474939
I lost my dog in July. I'm not a crier but that made me tear up bad anon.

I also didn't want to get another dog because it just wouldn't feel right but this convinced me otherwise ;_;

>>87479537
nice

>>87476521
Why is it so well-written

>>87481742
for spookiness

>>87481742

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0JfPAgpgnY

>>87481742
More importantly, where can more be found?

>>87476080
He took them off, obviously. We're not savages

>>87476080
You can't hit someone with glasses, anon.
So you wait until they take them off.

>>87482390
Haha

>>87482390
You know, I always thought the Jack was the King and Queen's son when I was a kid.
I don't know if the incest interpretation or the "grown man still being breast fed" interpretation wigs me out more.
Then again, maybe it's completely innocent and the king just uses his servants for bedsheets.

>>87481424
Why the fuck am i laughing?

>>87481451
>Suspiria on tv
nice

>>87484079
Yep, this is definitely Loss.

>>87474912

Those fucking dead eyes.

>>87480486
God Smite the enemy/his own followers

>>87475645
That one is always good for a giggle
>They began ritualistically sacrificing one of our TIE fighter pilots before every battle to bring them luck

>>87474939
;_;

>>87480530
Fucking KEK

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>>87474912
i laughed way harder from this than i should.

>>87474912
Why do people get so triggered by puns?

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>>87474882
You know, I wasn't aware there was an alternate way to open a banana before the internets.
And turns out I've been opening them wrong, because monkeys, I guess? I don't know, which end tells you "open here" in your opinion?

>>87486915
They're easy/lazy.
I don't mind them but some people like to pretend they have standards.

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Oh no you don't

>>87487008
The top, it has the stem and all.

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>>87474882
Cheer up, OP!

>>87489054
>>87488731
Good old SeanBaby.

>>87474882
>just put my dog down today
I don't get it, most people put their dog down, how are you carry anything else around with a pupper in your hand?

>>87481451

Porn when

>>87489417
Anon. "putting down" is a euphemism.
Anon's dog actually had to go live at a farm very far away.

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>>87489341
Ain't none better.

>>87481451
This is cute

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>>87489054
The Punchmaster waits for no one, and no one better get out of the way if he knows what's good for him.

I wonder if those cops are Dick Whiskey and his crew.

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>>87490005

>>87474882
You first OP.

>>87481424

I really want to know the context for this.

>>87490138
I'm pretty sure this is all the context that exists.

>>87490138
I don't. Some things are sort of opaque facts, something that exists to not be known.

>>87486915
Because people oversell the delivery every fucking time. Just drop it in there nice and easy, don't go "EH, EH, GET IT? PRETTY GREAT PUN AMIRITE?"

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Cable is a great babysitter

>>87474882
Nice lol

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Uncomfortable placement of a speech bubble in luck cage's comic

>>87481194
He sould've asked it for sex, to make to prove its commitment. Works with bears. No bear is willing to take a dick just to lure you into a trap. And it it takes the dick, the ambush is forgotten in favor of future continued dicking. Don't try this with lionesses. They will kill you cuz you are too big for them, thus, no dicking. Lots of angry, though.

>>87475645

Thank you so much. I fucking nearly just killed myself laughing.

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>>87476373
>woman

>>87476681
Top class.

>>87475645
where is this from

>>87479588
this is backwards

the "pop" normally indicates the seal is intact (i.e. the vacuum hold down the "button")

>>87479588

I don't get it. Why is he offended? He broke her seal. Is the second panel supposed to be his imagination and not what really happens?

>>87494220
If the button is held down, it doesn't "pop." Neither the motion (pop up) or the noise.

>>87494231
Pushing the button doesn't break the seal, unscrewing the lid and letting in air does.
The jar is packed under low pressure and is air tight, so until it gets opened, the button is continually pushed in by the atmosphere and won't make a pop noise if you push on it yourself.

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>>87474939
Joke's on you I hate dogs and celebrate their deaths.

>>87475264
If this were actually in the comic I would buy it right now.

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>>87475645
We can go bigger

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>>87494794
bigger

>>87477074
100% accurate

>>87479201
Going by this logic they could at least get away with using axes right? Not being so phallic as swords or spears and not being a thrusting weapon

Or maces, and have the heads be round like the ancient chinese versions, and the women would dual wield them (its like a pair of breasts, see?)

>>87488753
>Fappo!

Every time.

>>87481408
it's so nice to see something actually funny after all those shitty screenshots

>>87484143
So what is this comic? Is it shit?

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>>87490138
>>87490157
>>87490166
You can look it up in the archives, but know that whatever you see there probably won't live up to what you imagined you might find.

>>87489573
was this written by a woman

>>87495229
nah, see this is my working theory, because of exactly this. some things simply do not need to be known by me, and this looks like it qualifies.

I'm not an anti-intellectual or anything, there are simply some roads too dangerous for me to go down.

>>87484079
>>87484732
Dammit.

>>87481382
That joke was a little shitty.

>>87481408
Sad thing is /tg/ changed
A lot

>>87494559
Cats aren't allowed to use the internet.

Go away.

>>87496467

In what way?
I haven't browsed it ever, but from everything I've heard from boards ranging from /ic/ to /v/ to even /ck/, /tg/ has a rep for being a chill, fun if not somewhat autistic board.

>>87495120
Hey fuck you buddy I don't see you contributing anything.

>>87486915
Because everyone knows puns are lame and we know where not supposed to laugh so we have to fight ourselves from laughing because a pun was made which was lame which was funny something something.

>>87475456
>REMEMBER THE TIME YOU MADE OUT WITH A GIRL AND SHE FINGERED YOUR ASSHOLE AND YOU WONDERED OF YOU WERE GAY?
THAT WASN'T ME

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>>87497333

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>>87497656

>>87488676
Yeah but apparently that's the wrong end.

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>>87474882

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>>87497850

>>87494794
That ship is nearly the width of the entire state of Texas

>>87475838
The OP post is so obviously intentional bait, yet for some reason it still makes me laugh.

>>87491465
The comedy doesn't come from the joke, but from how much of the listeners time it wastes. At least for me.

>>87496660
>somewhat autistic
Try super autistic.

>>87487008
The top because of the stem, yeah
But I guess when it's still on the tree you only have one end
And the plant engineers itself on being more easily opened by said end
Have you ever tried pressing on it and opening it? It's glorious holy shit
Way better than when you try the stem and it doesn't break open, squashing things a bit inside
But anyway both ends are fine

>>87498661
This is worth it for you then
longestjokeintheworld.com

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>>87481452
>)
You gotta get another dog, anon. Think about the awesome life you gave your dog before; would you not want to give another dog that experience?

>>87501466
That is so fucking stupid, but I can't stop laughing.

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big hug

>>87474882
You the anon from /ck/ asking about good things for doggos last meals?

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>>87476981
Oh fuck

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>>87502450

That's probably the saddest topic for a thread on any board I've heard in a long time.

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>>87484024
It's not innocent. The king later killed himself.

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My favourite

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>>87474939
I would like to get some of the animals off my mother so it's less stressful but I can't even afford it yet.