I do believe it's time for another episode of Spider-man!
How are you guys doing? Hope you enjoy. Here goes nothin'
Past Spider-man eps here
http://pastebin.com/86qedmQu
Fantastic Four eps here
http://pastebin.com/tjREijhZ
Whew! It must be 77 degrees! Didn't think working with Dr. Smarter would get me out in this weather! My white boi skin's going to burn something fierce!
Waaaah! What's happening?!
Oooof!
What the hell?! This ground is covered in some hard, frictionless material. Like... saran wrap or glass or hard plastic! It's cold, too!
It's ice! What's the deal with that?
And the trees! They're all ice too now! Even the evergreens! Especially the evergreens!
Better take some pics of that! JJ loves when nature shit goes wrong.
And a picture of you too, anon, we at the Bugle always want to catch your good side.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP
Did I just hear that house call for help or did the shrooms hit sooner than expected?
HEEEEEEEEEEEELP NO! NOT AGAIN! NOT THE JEHOVAS WITNESSES AGAIN! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THEIR PERSISTENT EVANGELISM!
YOU GAVE ME A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME AND I AM GOING TO USE IT GOD DAMNIT NOW LISTEN TO MY GODDAMN SPEECH GOD DAMNIT
NOOOOOO! Help! Someone! Anyone! They're going to try to pressure me into subscribing to a newspaper I don't want to get them to college or guilt me into buying cookies!
Oh! It wasn't the house! The cry came from INSIDE Dr. Smarter's house. Boy is my face red! Dr. Smarter needs help.
Thanks for providing me cover, tree. Now we share a secret.
Be there in a minute, doc! Power-walking as fast as possible!
Through the windooooooow. Yeah I know the door is right there and unlocked! I felt like going through the window to save you and you can't complain!
Spider-man: You're the second ugliest damsel I've ever laid on eyes but you'll do! Point me in the direction of danger
Dr. Smarter: Spider-man! Right behind you! Iceman!
Spider-man: Bobby Drake! Should have known this faggotry was from ... oh a literal iceman. I'm not a homophobe I swear.
Spider-man: Time for the signature webbing opening move gambit!
Well, shoot. There is no plan B.
pewpewpewpewpew
H-hey! Those are sharp! Can't.... do anything! No fair! He's attacking too fast. Listen you Cold Miser, the least you can do is sing for me.
Backin' it up Backin' it up.
Spider-man: Dr. Smarter! Are you alright?
HNNNNNNG my heart wew ok it's pumping fine now. Yes I'm ok. Thanks for scaring him away.
But who was that guy and what did he want? He didn't look like one of my rogues and he wasn't much of a talker.
Dr. Smarter: You think I know?! Just because I'm a scientist named Dr. Smarter that I just KNOW everything? This isn't how it works, Spider-man. I have no idea what he was or why he was here.
Spider-man: Well... maybe he was here FOR YOU?
Dr. Smarter: SHIT. What do I do?!
>>87327554
kek
Spider-man: What do you do? Keep a cool head. I'll look into finding this guy. If he's a thief I'm sure he's got quite the collection of chill gotten gains.
You just stay here and keep your door locked and cower.
Bet he's behind freezing everything too! Better act quickly before he turns us into a suburb of the South Pole.
OUT OF THE WAY, TRAFFIC, THIS IS A SPIDER-EMERGENCY.
But where to look? New York has a lot of weirdos but even a guy like him isn't hard to spot.
Now I'm just lost. There's snow way I can just call it quits now!
HEY NEW YORKERS. HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN A STONE COLD DUDE?... AND NOT STEVE AUSTIN
Spider-man: Ah! He's right there! Remember, when you haven't a clue just shout for directions!
ice beaaaaam
Oh no! He froze a skyscraper! Everyone inside is ice-olated! How can a guy like me bring a guy like that to just-ice?
*crrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkk*
Sorry folks! You're on your own! I'm outta here!
WHAT? KIDS ICESKATING IN CENTRAL PARK? SNOW IN YOUR WALKWAY? I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR BAD JOKES
Hey JJ what's up?
JJ: What's up? WHAT'S UP?! Not the temperature! AND I HAVE THE SHAKES AND THE ONLY CURE IS SOME PICTURES. LAY SOME ON ME.
Parker: Yeah... about that. Shit's frozen. Wanna build a snowman?
JJ: Parker, with jokes that stale you'll never make anyone elsa laugh.
What? What's that? THERE'S AN ICEBERG ATTACKING NEW YORK HARBOR? AND THE BAND WON'T PLAY IF MANHATTAN SINKS?
JJ: WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, THE ICEBERG TO MELT? I WANT PICTURES! PICTURES OF SNOW!
We JUST ran the 10 page exposé on how Spider-man was the cause of global warming and I am NOT going to retract that. We'll figure something out.
Icebergs! This looks like a job for Spider-man! As long as there's no liquid water or waterspouts we're in the clear!
The perfect spot! Don't worry Lady Liberty, your nips may be frozen but I won't take pics or tell anyone.
That's all the pics I'll need. Now to check in on Dr. Smarter. I'm sure he's the key... he just has to be the key!
>>87328623
I would.
That shit's HOT.
Dr. Smarter: The key to what, Spider-man?
Spider-man: You HEARD me up there?!
Dr. Smarter: Yes. I have good hearing. The key to what?
Spider-Man: I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOW. At least not yet? Give me a clue?
>>87327474
I'm gonna be in the Bugle tomorrow?!?!
You know Spider-man, as I am Smarter, I've been thinking... that ice gentleman would have been at home on the coldest planet of our solar system...
>>87328697
You sure are!
>>87328697
Nope. He SAYS it's for the Bugle, but we all know Parker keeps the pics for fap bait.
Spider-Man: Coldest planet? Uranus?!
Smarter: No
Spider-man: Neptune!
Smarter: No
Spider-man: Mercury?
Smarter: Not even close. It's Pluto!
Spider-man: Pluto isn't even a planet! Are you sure that you're a scientist?
>>87328306
Underrated
Dr. Smarter: You're just splitting hairs. And I BET that they are more aliens like him.
Spider-Man: HRMPH that's just a theory. You have no proof. No empirical evidence whatsoever!
Spider-man: I hear something! And it's not the usual nameless voices lurking from the shadows!
Smarter: No! Not again! My scientist sense is tingling! Something bad is going to happen!
OH YEAAAAAAAAH
NOW I'M BACK AND WITH MY COOLER BIG BROTHER. WE'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO GIVE US THE TIME OF DAY.
Not again! No! They're going to make me listen to them! My vacuum cleaner works just fine I don't need a new one I swear!
HMMMMMMMMMMMM
Spider-man: Awww jeez what's he doing now?
Spider-Man: I see. Somebody put me in a room temperature drink STAT
Smarter: I wanted to be apart of Disney on ice but not like this! Not like this!
We're going to offer you snacks and you WILL listen to the entire FREE presentation.
Fireplace my only friend, you'll get me out of this mess won't you?
And Spidey'll take the rest from here. First I imagine myself naked and flexing my hot bod!
This piece of ice! It had to come from the giant iceberg! Of course!
Dr. Smarter is in danger! I'm coming for you! After I go home and get a dry change of clothes and have supper with Aunt May!
Alright Plutomen, you wouldn't dare try freezing a suicide bomber.
And I can make my webshooters shoot really hot webbing! If anyone's ever wondered how I shot web, well take a look!
Now where was that iceberg go again... Oh! There it is! In the water! The last place anyone would expect!
Huh. The environmentalists have really cleaned things up. And there's only been 31 dead bodies so far. Never looked better!
Enough daily exercise! I'll start from the top and work my way down! There has to be a secret entrance somewhere.
Ow! Stuck that landing a little harder than expected...
lol how am i sticking to pure ice
Aha! The hidden secret entrance!
Whooopsiedoodles! Spidersense! Why don't you ever woooooooooork
Huh a remix of Ice Ice Baby. That's the kind of elevator music we can all get behind. Going down!
Thanks for the chill wave music, guys! It's an underrated genre!
No where to go but to the right to the end of the level.
Um this may be a problem a big big problem.
OOOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I'm cracking up and so is everything else!
Which way do I go?! Left or right?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNVgIvS5Ydk
uh oh
Man, if only I had a pouch for cherry syrup. I'd kill for a snowcone right now.
Owch! Ice Pistons too! WELL EVEN IF HELL FREEZES OVER YOU WON'T STOP ME SO EASILY
I have the sneaking suspicion that someone is trying to squash me. What's with that?
>>87329735
Ah good ol' Spiderdub
Whew heart's racing like the spidermobile. It's time for a break. Clear my head. Take a breath.
Just take a seat and chill out.
Or not! I'm in the Cool Runnings now! Everyone be prepared for one epic slowclap!
Drat! I let you down, Jamaica, we're not bringing in the gold this time.
Feels like a long, cold, intestine. Hope this is the right way... and also not an ice giant's body.
ALRIGHT YOU FUCKERS. EVERYONE HATES ICE LEVEL AND THIS IS THE WORST ONE OF ALL.
Unfreeeeeeeze
Those days of pro-wrestling never fail to come in handy. Now you'll see the power of the people's Spider!
Spider-man: NOW I'LL SHOW YOU HOW SPIDER-MAN BREAKS THE ICE
Dr. Smarter: WHOA WHOA WHOA Spider-man what do you think you're doing?! Cease attacking that woman at once!
Dr. Smarter: Can't you see these people are friendly?
Spider-Man: FRIENDLY? No no no I'M a friendly neighborhood spider-man and they're nothing like me! They brought you here against your will! Froze me! Froze you! Called your bank and had your assets frozen!
Dude, I'm fine and I was right, these are Plutonians. As they are from a cold place their way of being friendly is giving us the cold shoulder. See? No harm no foul.
we're sorryyyyyyyyy
Spider-man: Are you sure you don't want me to bust their cubic heads apart? What about just one to send an example?
Dr. Smarter: Relax. Listen to what their leader has to say.
My fellow Plutonians and I were on our way back to Pluto when we damaged our ship and had to land here. We also wanted to have a word with Neil deGrasse Tyson and make him apologize for all the shit he's talked about our planet and hopefully get Chiyoko Kawashima to autograph all our copies of Sailor Moon S. Pluto is our favorite and the bestest sailor scout! Don't you agree?!
Plutoman leader: And after we beat up Mr. Tyson we were drawn here, to the one we knew who could help us.
Spider-man: Well shucks it's all in a day's work...
Dr. Smarter: He meant me. I've been working a spacewarp controller and it should work on their spaceship.
Whatever. The fastest you save the day the faster we can get out of here and you can treat me to some hot cocoa with some giant marshmallows.
VRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOWWWWW
Spider-man: You see that shit? That iceberg just turned into a giant diamond!
Dr. Smarter: I'll miss those plutomen. They threw the coolest parties.
Neat! Aliems!
Parker: Look! JJ! The iceberg turned into a giant diamond and flew away! And there were aliens!
Aliens! Icebergs turning into flying diamonds! They probably sank some airplanes! No one's going to buy that! The National Inquirer's going to be more credible than us! We're dutybound to print this scoop and it'll ruin us for sure!
Parker: Well... JJ I did some aliens who looked like they were from Pluto. I'm pretty sure they said something about how the Plutonians were going to fight the Martians over control of Earth and that Spider-man orchestrated the whole war to sell out mankind.
JJ: REALLY? YOU MEAN IT?! You're not just saying that to lift my spirits?! This is the story of the century!
Peter, next time you see a diamond flying around, could you grab it for me? After all, diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Get a diamond for Betty? LOL I'm poor as fuck, that bitch can get her own diamonds.
THE END
Hope you all enjoyed this week's episode. Be back next week for another. Feel free to make any macros from anything posted here and post em. I do love me some OC.
And have a happy halloween free of Plutomen and especially free of Pluto Nash.
BUMP FOR OC
>>87330864
Based
>>87333794
Thank you very much
>>87328795
In his defense, it was back then.
>>87330660
Well memed