A comicbook writer of your choice is placed in this scenario.

File: Image5.jpg (30KB, 625x297px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 625x297px

>>85499648

>>85499682
>Super Paper Mario.jpg

>>85498716
Those spikes look pretty dull

>>85498716
>Jeph Loeb
I'd probably spend the majority of the comic reflecting on how I got to this point, the various emotional turmoils that have led me to this point, and achieve some sort of character development that would allow me to either reach the cake or decide that the cake isn't worth it, snapping me back to the present. I'd bite into the cake or get a piece of the cake, respectively, only to realize that the cake is stale.

>>85498716
I pick Hickman.

Not sure how it ends but it'll be 40 issues leading to a huge let down.

File: 1471257129787.jpg (309KB, 673x1017px) Image search: [Google]

309KB, 673x1017px

I didn't make this.

>>85498716
Ennis gets together a band of lads, and through a series of crazy adventures that brings them closer than anything else could, they overcome the obstacle, probably through some heroic self sacrifice that turns out to be unnecessary but hurts so good. The cake is taken to a local pub and they all have a laugh about it. In the end everyone learns about adventure, friendship, comradery, mental retardation and a little something about the human condition.

>>85499817
looks about right

File: Solution Wilson.jpg (44KB, 625x297px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 625x297px

>>85498716
>Gwendolyn Willow Wilson
You can solve everything with embiggenment.

>Moore

I rape way to the cake, then rape the cake.

>>85498716
Slott takes a giant shit on the floor calls it The Superior Cake and then eats it without his hands.

File: twat snyder.jpg (12KB, 192x291px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 192x291px

>>85498716
I put Scott Snyder in that scenario, he comes up with a ridiculous and autistic way to do it that is really just a mediocre ripoff of a story Grant Morrison wrote a decade ago and then he fucks up the ending, dying in the spikes. And nothing of value was lost.

File: image.gif (34KB, 377x297px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 377x297px

>>85499819
Now draw this, asshole...

>>85498716
Bendis
>"You" are a black cakesexual
>The cake is a strong and independent cake that can fly
>The cake flies towards "You"
>"You" and the cake quip about white males and then make out
Everyone puts up with it because Sarah Pichelli can DRAW man

File: image.jpg (72KB, 400x471px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 400x471px

>>85499993

File: frank_miller.png (114KB, 625x600px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 625x600px

I tried.

>>85500598

What is this trying to say?

>>85500598
Looks like Patrick Rothfuss to me.
Except with less utter retardation and lack of how humans function on a basic level.

>>85500708
>>85500711
Tom Siddell
Gunnerkrigg Court

File: WarrenEllisGetsHisCake.jpg (51KB, 625x297px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 625x297px

>>85498716
>not pictured: several panels of needlessly shocking imagery

>>85500858
I have read GKC I just don't get what that comic is tryi... I just figured it out.

>>85500874
He's probably right.

>>85500919
Well, what is it?

File: 1471294867199.jpg (137KB, 1000x724px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 1000x724px

forgive me

>>85499817
>Zur-en-arrh

fucking saved.

>>85500999
Who's the writer?

>>85500975
It took 1000 pages for him to even get that far mocking the slow pace of the comic. It'll probably take him a good 3000 to get through those spikes.

Todd McFarlane tries going through the spikes but gets mangled to death and the spikes rape the cake to death, Todd comes back as Cakespike Spawn and the action figures all break.

>>85500999
Every day we stray further from God's light.

>Alan Moore

Uses his magical beard to reach for the cake. Loses a few strands to the spikes, but nothing of value was lost. They contained his old DC scripts to the stuff he's disowned now.

>>85501063
It's not a writer, just my fetish.

>>85498716
Tom Scioli, so fairly close to how Morrison does it >>85499817 but in a slightly different flavor of insane

File: E(1).jpg (34KB, 576x448px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 576x448px

Not sure how he gets all the way through but rightnow in the storyline he, the spikes and the cake's lives are ruined forever and nothing will ever be the same.
Im kinda getting ahead of the Dresden Files comics here.

File: Kanye-West-laughing-not-laughing-GIF.gif (3MB, 472x360px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 472x360px

>>85500999
>>85501114
>>85501142

>>85501495
Not a writer, but 10/10 reply.

>>85501577
Manara has written a lot of his own books.

Frank Miller pretends to be self inserted by Batman and pretends to be Batman and bleeds horribly and die

>>85501717
To a diabetic, this is horrifying.

>>85499817
I love this so much it's almost disgusting. Perfect.

File: 147129481671919.jpg (116KB, 624x1001px) Image search: [Google]

116KB, 624x1001px

>>85498716

>>85501976
Which writer is this?

File: bendis.png (193KB, 624x1202px) Image search: [Google]

193KB, 624x1202px

I tried

>claremont

Sorry, can't post that on a Christian board

File: Stephen King.png (446KB, 625x1295px) Image search: [Google]

446KB, 625x1295px

>>85498716
1 year on paint

>>85498716
>no dobson version

i genuinely disappointed in you /co/

File: 17409061.png (13KB, 100x100px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 100x100px

>>85502259
hahahahahahaha

Dan Slott crawls through the space between the spikes known as the Plot Hole.

>>85502259
Should be "But I'm an alcoholic writer"

Otherwise, top notch

Cuck Palahniuk finds some way to turn the spikes into a confusing but harmless metaphor.

>>85499817
Literal perfection

>>85500592
I like it.


You sure you didn't mean Ennis?

>>85502192
flawless

>>85502259
rad

>>85500592
10/10

>>85501748

Underrated post!

>>85502192
Wait this is a bit confusing. So he dies in the way but is then alive and well at the other side because he's ignoring his own continuity? If so that's genius.

>>85502893
Continuity? Yes of course!
Marvel's editors take care of that :^)
that'sthejoke.gif, anon

>>85502495
>Alcoholic comic artist
Fix'd

>>85503249
Isn't that supposed to be Stephen King, though?

>>85503449
Yeah but after a certain point he had his mary sues become comic artists instead of writers, like he was worried we were starting to catch on and this fixed it.

File: Neat.jpg (60KB, 720x481px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 720x481px

>>85500999

File: thumbs up black noir.png (106KB, 278x467px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 278x467px

>>85501495

File: 1212054526424.jpg90s .jpg (274KB, 675x2125px)

274KB, 675x2125px

>>85498716
Any 90s comic writer

>>85502317
The longer we go without bringing him up the better off everyone is. Way to go fucko

>>85499817
needs more dead cats

>>85501881
underrated post

>>85503855
Oh I wasn't aware

Stephen King's garbage was insulting to me when I was 13 so I barely read any of his stuff.

>>85502317
He'd just start calling the cake sexist and the spikes abelist.

>>85504537
Nah. He'd inflate himself and pop on the spikes.

>>85498716

Kazerad dashes like a mad dog towards the spike hole, but his speed decreases asymptotically as he approaches the event horizon of the spike-lined passage.
Then he spews a bunch of bullshit about how he's working really hard on getting closer to the cake, but it's just empty words; you figured that out after the third time he postponed getting closer to the cake with meaningless and time-consuming side projects. He's lost interest in getting closer to the cake and he's just fucking with you now.
Also he tries to sell you some cake.
If you bought some you never get it.