Religious Stories That Would Make Good Films

I would like to see an adaptation of the book of Enoch.

>>85247590
The one about Mohammad and his 6 year old wife

The Ramayana - the ancient Hindu epic about a reincarnation of the god Vishnu named Rama. Amazingly cool story just begging to be turned into an animated movie (that isn't stiff and lifeless like the ones that already exist).

>>85249284
eww fucking pedo

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Gospel of Mary

>>85247590
The live story of Matusalem

The Dance of the Seven Veils

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This counts, right?

>>85247590
Cain and Abel?

Pretty much anything Norse.

Fantasia meets Revelations

>>85249471
>tfw we will never have this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDoJMwjs0I8

Maybe a short film about Onan.
God just wants to jerk off to some guy creampie-ing his brother's wife, but the asshole keeps fucking up and cumming on the ground.

>>85247590
The Epic of Girugamesh, obviously.

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>>85249346
Don't be Islamophobic! Let me crash on your couch, just think how enriched your culture will be when im done!

>>85247590
What about something new, then?

The Incredibles used original characters to portray the superhero genre.

Could the same be done for the idea of gods?

>>85249354
>Todays reading is from the book of mary:
My son is 32 and lives at home, he has hair like a fucking hippy, god help me.

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>>85249669

>>85249641
jesus christ this

is there some sort of conspiracy to prevent gilgamesh from being adapted in any way? no fucking movies. what the hell.

>>85249749
would love to see how they skirt around the pussy vore

>>85249750
It would contradict the Christian god. It's dark slided!

>>85249750
Its because his whole thing is just the prototypical hero's journey, anyone who could do it justice could just write an origional character or attach the same story to a hot IP

>>85249767
It's in the show though.
http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2016/07/american-gods-bilquis-photo-starz-yetide-badaki

>>85249920
i had no idea there was a show.

>>85247590
The Book of Revelation, presented as a series of music videos.

>>85249942
I still can't believe it's happening, it sounds too good to be true

>>85249849
but it started it...

why wouldn't it be a good idea to adapt the FIRST

>>85250064
Same reason Seinfeld isn't as good if you watch it now, its over done, sure it came first but that doesn't mean it was first to the viewer.

>>85250116
makes sense i guess, even if it seems unfair

still i think a look into sumerian culture enough to make it worth adapting.

>>85249471

Greek, Egyptian, and Norse are so overdone.

>>85249661
>white boy to afraid of Mohammad dick

boooooy

>>85249302
>that isn't stiff and lifeless like the ones that already exist
Fuck you, Sita Sings The Blues is great.

>>85249302
What's it about?

>>8525026
there aren't a whole lot of good Egyptian mythology films/shows?

>>85247590
Ramayama?

>>85250116
But it would be really easy to generate marketing buzz for this. People don't mind getting the same shit served over and over again anyways.

An young not yet King David carving through Philistines like Guts with thegiant sword he took from Goliath.

Paul's transformation from Christianity's greatest enemy into it's greatest champion.

The destruction of Sodom And Gomorrah, which takes the form of Godzilla.

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>>85250491
Agreed. Though, isn't it more the story of Sita specifically than an adaptation of the Ramayana? I haven't read the Ramayana yet, but I assume a lot more stuff goes on in it and somebody familiar with it looking for an adaptation would feel cheated by Sita sings the blues focusing just on Sita's side of it.

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>>85247590
I dunno if religion necessarily makes for good material to make animated media, but I am sure that if there was more good and accessible stuff of it that I, and I assume a lot of other people that liked cartoons as kids yet didn't have a religious homelife, would be much more familiar with it.

I've always thought it was kind of odd that I could confidently retell the basics behind the story of Passover, but only have a vague idea of the story of Easter, despite coming from a supposedly Christian family. I've seen Prince of Egypt so many times and as a kid watched rerurns of the Rugrats Passover and Hanukkah specials so much that I have a better grasp of those stories than most stories about Jesus. Sure I could go read the Bible, but I don't have a lot of incentive to do so.

>>85249538
This could be god tier kino.

Maybe some Yoruba myths, or Nana Miriam.

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>>85247590

I would kill for a live action, disaster porn adaptation of the Book of Revelations. Make sure not to cut out ANY of the more insane shit. Get a large enough budget, and this would be ridiculous.

>Then the fifth angel sounded: And I saw a star fallen from heaven to the earth. To him was given the key to the bottomless pit. 2 And he opened the bottomless pit, and smoke arose out of the pit like the smoke of a great furnace. So the sun and the air were darkened because of the smoke of the pit. 3 Then out of the smoke locusts came upon the earth. And to them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power. 4 They were commanded not to harm the grass of the earth, or any green thing, or any tree, but only those men who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. 5 And they were not given authority to kill them, but to torment them for five months. Their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it strikes a man. 6 In those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will desire to die, and death will flee from them.

>7 The shape of the locusts was like horses prepared for battle. On their heads were crowns of something like gold, and their faces were like the faces of men. 8 They had hair like women’s hair, and their teeth were like lions’ teeth. 9 And they had breastplates like breastplates of iron, and the sound of their wings was like the sound of chariots with many horses running into battle. 10 They had tails like scorpions, and there were stings in their tails. Their power was to hurt men five months. 11 And they had as king over them the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in Hebrew is Abaddon, but in Greek he has the name Apollyon.

>12 One woe is past. Behold, still two more woes are coming after these things.

Revelations 9 1:12

Get Roland Emmerich on this, and shoot the whole thing in 3D.

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>>85249446
>The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Biff sounds like a butthead.

>>85249565

A fucking ANIMATED Der Rings des Nibelungen?!

Why have I never realized how much I want this until now?

>>85252268
Here, have this then:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur_nXfmi67o

>>85249302
The Japanese one was fucking great.

>>85252218
Wasn't Left Behind kind of that?

>>85249942

The trailer looks amazing, man. You've got to see it. Looks legit great. Directed by Bryan Fuller, too.

>>85252525

Not nearly unhinged enough, and not with nearly a high enough budget. And remove the human element, no main characters except for angels, demons, Jesus and Satan. Bonus points if you can set it neutrally, without showing either side in a fair or unfair light.

>>85252571
>Technical Boy
>personification of internet is a pretty twink boy
>not a fat nerd with acne like the books
Dropped.

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>>85250064

>>85247590

The mayan stories of the world might be fun. Sex, death, revenege. All the good shit.

>This summer...

>Watch as the twin heroes find revenge for their father...

>In a game of B-ball

On second thought, let's not do the mayan stories.

>>85252755
That movie was not bad, shame the marketing dropped the ball so hard. The could just superimpose Hulk over John and rerelease it as Planet Hulk though.

>>85252708
It's an updated take.

Instead of the basement nerd he's Zuckerberg. Logical enough.

>>85252811
>Implying Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden: Temple of Cuchulain wouldn't be the hypest shit.

I´d love to see an animated version of Paradise Lost. There's just so much epicness there

>>85250498

Vishnu saved India from the evil toilet witch by shitting on the street. Creating the first designated shitting street of India.

>>85249849
It really isn't. It doesn't even have a villain.

>>85249920

Neil Gaiman is a disgusting fetishist.

I loved the part where that same bitch was hit with a car and killed like another piece of trash.

>>85253144

>Neil Gaiman is a disgusting fetishist.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

>>85253093
The hero's journey does not necessitate a villain to work normally, just that there be a significant challenge.