Obituary Animated Pilot

>>84522457
Stoner teenage Mabel.

>>84522457

'>popular girls are mean

Can this troop stop?

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>>84522579
According to the writers, they plan to subvert some of those tropes

>>84522457

Ghosts are overrated.

>>84522579
They are mean sometimes.

>>84522457
This is cute as fuck. And the script's not bad either. They could use a little less of that "self referential so its funny" GF dialogue.

>>84522636
I know a lot of people on here would fight you.

>>84522457

How do you fuck a ghost? I want to fuck both of those female ghosts.

>>84522636
Not as bad as dinosaurs.

The humor is too on the nose.
>shes different & that upsets me!
>is that some kind of sentimental gift...
>world history...the history of the world

It lacks that kind of genuine comedic spark.

Also the "Rich/attractive kids are spoiled brats & bullies while the nerds are friendly" doesn't jive anymore. The zeitgeist of the times is that the ugly/weird kids are angry outcasts and attractive people are open and affable.

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>>84522457
>I hate you for no apparent reason
>we'll be the flowers on your grave
This is already way too edgy on purpose

>>84522457
good animation

>>84522457
I dig it. This guy >>84522691 is 100% right though about it lacking a comedic spark.
I thought the homeschooling part was funny though.

>>84522457
Yeah, I saw it.
It was okay, passing the "laugh within the first 30 seconds", but I feel like it really fell apart towards the end due to blatant cliches that it didn't really work well with. Hated the voice of the nerdy kid.
If they have time to work on it, it could be better, cause they've sort of got something there, but already it feels like "Paranorman" or what I expect "Dude ,That's My Ghost" to be about.

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>>84522457

>Rich blond girl being a total bitch

I... I... I don't understand why this turns me on...

>>84522457

Better question, where's the porn?

>>84522805
because you like being dominated

>laid back "cool" teenager girl who wants no trouble
>Carl Arts face
>tropes and self aware humor
>that one edgelord
On the other hand
>Paranorman with cute girls
>qt dorky ghost girl
>ghosts are kinda of cool
>MLATR vibes

I feel divided, seems like a cool show though if they do something creative with the premise that goes beyond "protagonist tries to do everyday thing but due to weirdness things excalate into big adventures", i will look foward to this

>>84522579
why reinvent the wheel? Better than "everybody is nice to each other at all times"

>>84522579
When it stops being real in real life, sure.

>>84522636
>>84522687
but dinosaur ghosts are underrated and undereused

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>>84522896

>>84522457
the voice acting and dialogue is pretty shit, and sometimes has problems syncing up with the animation

I like the animation, it's somewhat amateurish but it could get somewhere

>>84522457

I would so fuck those 3 popular girls.

Anyways, I know for a fact that Violate will befriend her at the end. She was treated like shit.

why were her parents not ghosts?

it wasnt funny and the voice acting wasnt very good but those ghosts and high school girls were really fuckable so i want more episodes just for that

Did anyone else think the bully looked alot like Arin?

>>84522457
>It's ParaNorman, the cartoon
>start to think to myself "I shouldn't compare it too hard to ParaNorman, it'll probably distinguish itself in some way"
>just then the same damn optimistic redhead sidekick character from ParaNorman falls out of a locker and makes friends with the brunette straight man ghost seeing protagonist

Other than that it looks good, it's a shame the concept feels unoriginal to me, but it's not like it's a bad concept.

>>84522457

Why are the ghosts such manchildren?

>>84522633
It's not really subverting a trope if you start out with a trope and then slowly reveal that it wasn't actually a trope in the same way that everyone who tries to subvert a trope subverts the trope
I mean, what, the popular kid has parents who don't care that much so she acts out?
There's like 3 routes this could go and they are all already boring

>>84522999
They probably moved on before she gained the power to see ghosts
or something cooler that hasn't been revealed yet

>>84522457
I don't like the ghost designs. I don't know, they don't feel 'dead' to me. They feel like merpeople.

>>84522457
>have your pick of any age or culture
>all the ghosts are USA-ian
>barely any history or culture to be found
Why? Did they meant for the ghosts to be boring?

>>84523214
Most of them died young. Trauma?

>>84523259
Yeah, they feel sterile and safe, like they were afraid to do something spooky or interesting.

>>84523274
likely only people buried in that graveyard she lives on
in the usa dummy

>>84523214
As you get old you stop giving a fuck in general

Looks same as all the other shit out there.

>>84523274
>>have your pick of any age or culture
>because foreigners usually come to the midwest to die

>have a big cast of dead ghost people
>NONE of them are elderly

Why do shows/movies and stuff with ghosts do this anyway? Like, if you go to a cemetery and look at the dates, most people generally die in old age. It's pretty unusual to die as a teen or in your prime. If they explain it away by saying that you have to die in some kind of accident or have "unfinished business" to be a ghost, I guess it's not so bad, but that's not usually the case.

>>84522651
>They are mean sometimes.

NO THEY'RE NOT! People are popular because they're likable. If you where unpopular it was because you where a stupid little shityt weirdo

>>84523274
>>84523331
this has potential
>episode where girl has trouble with spanish/french class
>something something she ends up stuck somewhere far away from home
>ghosts of locals end up helping her
>They don't speak english
>at the end of the episode she gits gud and passes the exam

>>84523259
>>84523321
Yeah, they at least could've muted the palette on them a little bit.

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>>84523321
Oh yeah that's exactly it. Nothing about this feels 'spooky'. It's a show about ghosts and dying but there's no macabre to it. Where's the gloom, the spooks?

Fucking Casper looks more intimidating.

>>84523371
dying of old age seems enough to move on with all your business finished, you won't have that "what if" feeling bothering you

>>84523344

>>84522457
What was she doing with the corpses during that homeschooling scene? Cleaning them? Why?

>>84522457
Those facial expressions already make me hate them.

>>84523373
Calm down dude, tropes don't always need to be realistic, just entertaining, if these tropes weren't entertaining they wouldn't be done to this day, experimenting is fine but if you go too far you might end up with tumblr shit

>>84522686
You have her possess somebody and fuck them.

>>84522636
>>84522687
if they are all awesome, why not use all of them?

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>>84523408
what the fuck man, spoiler that shit

>>84522633

When do Jackie Buscarino and Grey DeLisle show up to claim royalties?

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>>84523445
>englishwoman ghost possesses bowgirl to fuck you
>my boner is at maximum

>>84523438

They're not entertaining. Im tired of seeing "poor misunderstood" artists who can't get over their high school shit

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>>84523485

>Her

>Not the other 3 bitches

Shit taste.

>>84523380
What if turns out that she's not the only one with ghost aides by her side? There could more people being each closely assisted by their own personal ghost with very specific skills.

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>a cartoon pilot about ghosts
it, is that a dream? Fi-Finally......

>>84522457

>everyone has 4 fingers

Lazy animation.

>>84523411
Idunno. From my time volunteering in an old folk's home I kind of got the impression a lot of them weren't really done with being alive, and would rather go do a lot of the things they never got around to, but just didn't have the energy to. Mostly I saw people that were senile, though, and probably wouldn't have the capacity to figure out they were dying when it came.

>>84523500
people don't use these tropes because they relate to them in a personal level, they use them because someone else did the same before, its just a safezone, and judging by the rest of the pilot they didn't seemed to try anything ground breaking

>>84523544

>What's Danny Phantom

>>84522633
>Violet and Lisa Rose have an interesting relationship
Welp, that was all I needed. I'll be in my bunk.

>>84523385
The palette's muted enough. This show is in desperate need of more colour.

>>84523500
>can't get over their high school shit
But this doesn't really happen to anybody in highschool.

WHY ISN'T THEIR SKIN WHITE LIKE THOSE GHOST TAILS

THIS IS SHITTY DESIGN 101 RIGHT HERE AND IT'S TRIGGERING ME HARD

>>84523565
Yeah this pilot brings nothing new to the table. It's not interesting to look at, the jokes are lukewarm, it can't really decide if it wants to be a black comedy or not, it's stale cliche high-school shit.

It has potential, but it needs retooling.

>>84523542
we could just go full FOP
>edgelord goth wannabe that thinks he is a special snowflake because he can talk to ghosts
>discovers about the main character
>i am better than you etc etc
>his ghost friend (and only friend) is constantly abused by him
>shit happens and he gets btfo
>lesson about not treating your friends like shit

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>>84522457
THIS NIGGA GOT SEVEN STANDS!

>>84522457
Cute enough, and it's got possibilities. Animation's not great.

>>84523677

Oh god, someone make a Jojo parody

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>>84523618
Because then they can't be racially diverse

>>84522578
that blonde girl also reminds me of S1 Pacifica. So, inspirations?

>>84522457
>all of the ghosts in the cartoon are white
>students are of every color
Did black ghosts get Jim Crowed after the promotional material?

>>84523532
theyre for when all three girl ghosts possess them to fuck you at the same time

>>84522457
Okay, guys: How did they die?

My guesses:
>pink haired girl: died at a punk rock show in a pyrotechnics accident
>soldier guy: dysentery
>salesman: suicide
>big hat lady: fell off a horse
>russian guy: mauled by bear
>black kid: AIDS
>ponytail girl: electrocuted by christmas lights

>>84522457

GAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY

>>84523734
>pink haired girl: AIDS
>soldier guy: AIDS
>salesman: AIDS
>big hat lady: AIDS
>russian guy: AIDS
>black kid: Shot by cop
>ponytail girl: AIDS

One thing I kind of like is the joke of literally anyone can show up as a one and done gag. Like the steam train guy and the lumberjack.

And people in this thread are conflating rich and popular. Lisa Rose isn't a bitchy popular girl, she's a rich bitch. And being rich makes her popular.

>>84522457

damn now that's what I call a cold open

>>84523331
>>84523358
But why have such a dumb limitation?

Have her be able to communicate to all of her dead relatives: a crusader who succumbed under Jerusalem, a privateer who died boarding a Spanish merchant ship, a whore murdered by Jack the Ripper, a girl burned for witchcraft, a mulatto boy who got lynched. And yes, why not a soldier from the civil war, a southerner for hijinks option with the mulatto boy, or even someone from WW2 or 1, especially since WW1 is so often completely neglected. The amount of dramatic stories this could spawn is huge.

OR: go the action route and have her collect ghosts like the fucking Shaman King — make her family travel internationally due to father's profession and her befriend the ghosts like catching pokemon. I mean hell, let them possess her and fight evil mediums or poltergeists and demons.

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>>84522457
I was pleasantly surprised by it. I think it could use some sprucing up and tinkering, but there were some genuinely amusing gags there, and the self-referential humor was never obnoxious (unlike that two girl time travel thing). Even if it's never gut-bustingly hilarious, it's charming enough.

I think the nerd's voice might need to be dialed down a bit, and the "comically exaggerated evil popular girls" thing is pretty rote.

It kind of reminds me of Welcome to Hell, too, which I overall enjoyed, so there's that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO7BfUKmheo

I wouldn't mind more of this.

>>84523734
>AIDS
>not overdose or black on black violence

>>84523778
>the character most likely to have died of AIDS didn't die of AIDS
What a twist!

>>84523800
Because they're not trying to be dramatic, they're trying to be comedic

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>>84522457
I feel like that whenever they took those group photos a better gag would've been that instead of then not showing up in the photos they should've all had a creepy "ghosts caught on film" look to them. That or the photo should've had a bunch of orbs and/or smears where the ghosts would normally be.

>>84523422
I'm guessing she was embalming them because she runs a mortuary.

>>84523862
It looks like it's framed so that she makes more friends as the series goes on and fills the photo.

>>84523532
>>84523485
>>84522457

PORN WHEN!

I NEED IT!

>inb4 bluhvluhbloo calarts style blahblahblur

>>84523734
>Midwest
Dysentery, all of them. Except the one guy who drowned during a fording, because he was weak from dysentery.

>>84523371
Maybe your ghost body matches your mental view of yourself instead of your actual age when you die? If you always thought of yourself as a kid at heart, then you're a ghost kid. If you think of yourself as middle aged (which most people probably do, as a majority of their life is spent in that period), thne that's what you look like

>>84523861
Why even have them be ghosts if most of them are contemporary faggots? How is that different from regular friends if the show isn't even focused on ghost shit? And what's worse, most of them are young! With old-timey interesting profession ghosts you at least have the fish out of water and passing on of antiquated wisdom comedic elements.

>>84523800
nothing stops them from making episodes about characters like these, focusing less on backstory and more on personality can help with keeping them from becoming one trick ponies

>>84523958
I do get what you're saying, I really do. I like the potential of a civil war ghost buddy.

You just can't go full edge with it like you're doing, though

>>84523371
Passing on doesn't cure you of Alzheimer's. All the old ghosts are just walking around in circles completely lost and confused.

>>84523983
You don't have to outright TELL the kid audience all those backstories. You imply them for the older audience for lore value. And maybe explore them deeper just a bit if they decide to go for spooky once in a while. But it also opens up action/mystery routes galore.

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>>84522457

>>84522457

Can we stop with the whole paranormal and skeleton thing? I know it's a fad, just like with zombies, werewolves and vampires. But please be original for once.

>>84524079
wonder if the black girl gets off on being abused and choked

>>84524079

DON'T HURT THE BROWN ONE!

>nerds get bullied
>Popular girls are bitches
>everyone hates the new girl

could you be any more cliche?

>>84524197

>everyone hates the new girl

This trope should die. If you're a male, you get treated like shit. If you're the new girl, you get treated nicely and fair.

>>84524089
While we're at it, could we stop with magic? And science-fiction too. Soooooo played out.

>>84524079
>>84524102
Dominant blonds choking submissive brown girls is pretty hot.

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>>84522457
>ghost clown

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>>84524250
>this is what men believe

>>84524275
>liking fantasy
>liking science fiction
Get laid already.

>>84524250
*If you're the new pretty girl

>>84524079

Damn, whites still lynching blacks

>>84524250
>>84524197
but got to admit, people in high schools can be some assholes or idiots.

>>84524250
Depends on the school. If its hierarchical, the girl will be treated like a threat if she's pretty/smart/socially skilled and will be subjected to domination attempts. Or if she's not, she'll be ignored.

It was pretty cute. But it really bothered me that the nerdy kid's headgear wasn't attached to his teeth.

>>84524316
>implying I'd be here if I could get laid

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>>84522457
Am impressed. Am looking forward to future episodes of this.

>>84523718
Could be the town was less diverse in the time periods the ghosts died in. It'd be funny if the ghosts noticed and pointed it out actually.

WHERES THE PORN DUDES WHERES THE PORN
THERES LIKE 7 GIRLS IN THIS THAT I WANT LEWDS OF
AT LEAST 4 OF THEM ARE UNDERAGE AND THREE OF THEM ARE GHOSTS
WHERE IS IT EGGMAN

>>84523718
There's literally a black ghost in the OP, you autist.

>>84522633
>pleased as punch

>>84523862
Yeah, I was kind of hoping for her to be surrounded by orbs. But if they were all there but looked like rotting zombies or something that would've been better.

>>84523867
They were way too decomposed and old for embalming. Unless maybe the ghosts asked her to, but I don't see why.

>>84523222
>I'm a gentleman of refined taste

>>84522457

>key necklace

is a fashion that modern teens use?

>>84523923
That one girl at least probably died as a teen.
>I've been 15 since 1959!

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>>84522457
GHOST FUCKERS ASSEMBLE!

>>84524197
>>84524250

This is why Homeschooling is growing; yet also where our education system needs to improve.

Problems that everyone else has pointed out aside; I like the concept. There's potential for cool, fun, and feelsy ideas here. I like the characters' designs, even if they're not super interesting. They're still distinguishable from one another. The ghosts, while having problems, seem like they could present or participate in really funny and entertaining scenarios so long as they don't become cliched plot devices.

Animation needs serious tightening up, as well as needs to actually be utilized; I liked the parts with the ghosts because something was actually happening on screen. Too much of the scenes without them were just "character sitting/standing there, talking." Writing obviously needs serious work too. But, overall, A+ for effort, B- for execution.

>>84524394
Good, I was afraid I was just being nitpicky in being physically annoyed by that.

>>84524197
>>everyone hates the new girl
Well, it seemed they hated her because she had a reputation already for being "cemetery girl" moreso than because she was new.

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>>84522457
Would you draw a picture of your ghost waifu when she feels sad because she can't see herself in mirrors or photos and has forgotten what she looks like?

>>84524606
This. In many countries, go to middle schools is pretty much tell your children to suffer or to become some assholes.

>>84524430
>In my day we didn't have all these colored folk around town.

>>84524574
>is a fashion that modern teens use?
yeah, since like the 80s

>>84524639

I still don't get it? As if one day everyone and their grandma knows about this girl and giving her this nickname.

Real life doesn't work like that.

>>84522457
It's fine. Aside from the cliches, I wish the ghosts didn't satellite over June. It's like they've never had an afterlife before her.

>>84524697
Small midwestern towns do.

>>84524250
> If you're a male, you get treated like shit.

Of course, generic macho bullys always are prepared to defend his "territory"

>If you're the new girl, you get treated nicely and fair.

Nope. False.
you get treated like shit by other girls.
And became the target of rape threats by male students and teachers. And need hide you blood because get treated like shit AGAIN when they know your period.

>>84522563

>that sounds like fighting words, quickly get your gun

I fucking love civil war union soldier.

>>84524650
this is making me want a ghost waifu just to poorly draw her and make her happy ;_;

>>84524700
I think it's more like they're her doting parents, who have devoted so much time to her that they don't know what to do when she's not around.

>>84524650
me on the right

>>84523373
were you homeschooled?

>>84524897

You're a ghost?

>>84524918

Not him, but I was homeschooled once. And when I went to school a few years later. I became social butterfly and I sense I was friendly with the popular kids. They accept me as one of their own. So this trope is shit.

>>84524736
>And need hide you blood because get treated like shit AGAIN when they know your period.

What? I don't remember any of the students in highschool knowing when any of the girls were on their period unless they said so. Is this like surprise penis inspection day or something?

>>84523373
or people treat you like a nobody. In my memory in middle school, I was pretty much a ghost. I had no significances whatsoever that I doubt people even remembered my name, even I did not do anything wrong to other particularly. In nutshells, high school suck.

>>84522457
If they play with the dynamic of possesing shit and with June being a freaking genius because she was "home-schooled" plus little info shots or mysteries to solve on how is it that her parent's ghosts are nowhere to be seen and why didn't she go to school for such a long time.

>>84525020
>continuation

...it could be an awesome series.

>>84524956
>it doesn't match my personal experience so it's shit

>>84522457
Not bad. I can dig it. porn of the popular girls when?

>>84523571

Please make an effort and realise the kind of ghosts he's talking about.

"Monster-bad-villany thingies" not equal to "Cute/Nicey ghosts"

>>84525020
Yeah, I'd be pissed if it got picked up and kept all those questions but just left them hanging.

>>84522457

This was shit, /co/ is full of cucks that would eat anything up.

>>84522457

Why is Fidel Castro in the back?

>>84522579
when you can spell trope correctly and learn to meta-narrate, Barbie.

When you start dating nerds, Barbie.

>>84525173
He can't be Castro. He doesn't have a cigar.

>>84522457
>>84522793
This, the cliches at the start I could tolerate but having the protag's friend be more socially unacceptable (while protag is more of a plain/"cool" loser) than they are is a thing that has always rubbed me the wrong way. It's like it's saying "hey, it could always be worse - you could be like THIS kid!"

To the kids that are more like them, well ... it's kind of unnecessarily cruel.

>>84525259
Bleh, that's reading too much into it.

That kid has a solid philosophy about life and he was a hella good person.

The "bad" things were:
His teeth
His voice
His weak physique
His gland problem

And that's it.

It's not "Hey you could be worse. Befriend him out of compassion."
It's "Hey befriend nice troubled people rather than dicks or airheads."

>>84525130
Jesus has that word lost all meaning.

Honestly I don't see any promise for this series whatsoever. Whoever created it seems to entirely lack that creative spark that talented creators exude in their work.

It took ideas which could have been fashioned into something interesting and laid them out in the LEAST interesting way possible. The MC is dreadfully "NORMAL". I.E. without any remarkable aspects, from what little we see, she is utterly lacking a personality entirely. The animation is boring and the style is downright bland.

What is suppose to be its catch, what is suppose to set it apart from every other liberal arts grad with a pitch? It's not exceptionally funny, or artistically adept, or creatively ambitious. It lacks a signature, someone who can really put their name on it. To me, it seems like it's a product of a bunch of people without a clear vision compromising and taking the 'safest' route possible, resulting in something totally bland & diluted.

>>84525394
isn't cuck just a slang for spineless/conformist at this point?

>>84525372
I mean in general, not in this specific instance. How the protag is average but nerdy in a "cool" way and the quirky friend has to be a walking clusterfuck of every rehashed stereotype.

>almost always a redhead
>lisp/dumb voice/sometimes snorts
>glasses
>braces/weird headgear
>references random health problems
>optional inhaler

Like it can never just be one, it's always the same goddamn character. I get what you're saying but this archetype is always intended to be laughed at, not with.

Also the "gland problem" line was straight-up ripped from Paranorman, that just made me cringe.

>>84525533
When it comes to balancing features you need to go a little further with comic reliefs, if the protagonist is supposed to be the normal/down to earth type he obviously needs one or more colorful characters to make up for his unfunnyness, in this case they went 200% and made a walking stereotype that will get boring sooner or later

Want a good example of the nerd archetype? Double D, he had his own dorkyness but he never needed to adress that every 5 minutes

>>84525394
I don't think "shit" has lost any meaning, actually.

>>84525533

>walking clusterfuck of every rehashed stereotype.
kek

Welp yeah. I guess people /in general/ would rather laugh at it, even if some wouldn't.
Yep, you got a point.

>>84525455
It wasn't even ten minutes dude.
They had to lay the basic plot and they did.
Given twenty minutes I'm sure they would have added their own flavour to it.

>>84523562
This is probably the most depressing thing I've read all day

>>84522457
Shes pretty cute for a witch
I really liked it

>>84525663
I totally agree - even if the creators have implied that things are gonna flesh out more I'd rather have a protagonist that can be funny and bounce off with the friend character than "the designated comedy relief XDDD"

And if there is going to be depth/character development given to Lisa Rose, it won't look so deep if the other cliches are left alone.

I think the problem is that the protag doesn't really have a personality outside her relationship with the ghosts. I didn't care much about what happened to her and if she grew up with the ghosts for so long, her desire to "be normal" doesn't make much sense. The key thing was too shoved-in to be funny/interesting, too. "Ooh, quirky exposition!" Nah.

Also Double D is a great example. I hadn't even considered him.

>>84523562
That's probably why they'd rather stay sleeping inside their coffins than go and "fulfill" their wishe.

I liked Billy and Mandy as characters. They were extreme ends, no normalcy there. Why would I want to watch a cartoon about a normal person? I wanna watch someone fun, or evil, or righteous, or badass.

>>84525924
Well I would assume being a ghost would remove some bodily limitations. Otherwise none of them would be able to do anything because they're, you know, dead. They'd just be conscious corpses unable to move and slowly, painfully rotting away.

>>84525755
You can lay out a plot (or even just vaguely imply it) and still have tons of character. The Adventure Time pilot is simple but has tons of charm, even though the tone of it didn't translate into the show.

The Steven Universe pilot (while released after Sugar had already done the redesigns), still has a strangeness to the magical aspect and a definite style of its own.

You've made me think, now. What designs in this show are memorable? What character's voices last in your memory? I know this is harsh, but this is pretty forgettable.

>>84522776
Doesn't she have anything better to do?

>>84522457
>credits
>loads of people from Studio Yotta

Ah. I wondered why the style and designs were so forgettable and it had animation bumps on random bits that didn't need it.

>>84526020
I can see it having a slight morbid sense of humor the whole "I've been a teen since 1959" part made me chuckle
Having a more Paranorman attitude to it

>>84523702
They could have made their ghost tales match their skin tone. Would have been unique and make sense.

>>84522457
Pretty solid 6/10
The cliches are a little thick and it doesn't really bring anything original to the table. Everything it does has been done before and better. It could pull some amazing writing out of nowhere and be a really good show, but it'll more likely end up forgotten for not doing anything particularly interesting.

>>84526686
They'd look even more like weird mermaids then.

>>84522776
>>84526063
She seems to be really after that key. Maybe it's important and something she's been after for a long time.
I kind of want to see where this show goes. Who knows, it might get better. It has it's problems, but it also looks like a cute show. Plus, it's always nice to see people make a webtoon that's not overly violent, vulgar, or a fan animation.

>>84526686
>>84527041
or even better, how about unique ghost animal? A ghost manatee?

>Inviting over some shit stick she just met to meet her GHOST family

Why.

>>84523222
I think a good way to do it would be have a second group of popular kids who aren't arseholes.

>>84527249
It seems this is literally her first human friend.

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I know this is some low budget shit but come on, this is retarded. Why the fuck does her desk keep magically turning.

>>84527217
I thought refusing her just insulted her pride and she's super petty about it. I do think the key will be important in some way, though, just that Lisa Rose will have no idea that it is.

>>84522457
I think this has a lot of potential especialy with the ghosts from difrent time periods offering varied perspectives.

I'm not really a fan of the that is so cool thing with the friend what's wrong with just accepting it as a part of your friends life and whatnot.

I liked the stuff with the girl wanting whatshernames lipstick and the look on her face when it snapped.

I hope this gets picked up I think it could stay good for at least 3 seasons.

>>84527322
Looks like her desk is fine but she turned her chair, just going from the screenshot.

>>84527342
>I'm not really a fan of the that is so cool thing with the friend what's wrong with just accepting it as a part of your friends life and whatnot.
But it is really cool.

>I liked the stuff with the girl wanting whatshernames lipstick
It's because Violate wants an indirect kiss from Lisa Rose.

>>84522691
I liked the gift bit and the on the nose explanations of bigotry is a joke that's usualy funny once as long as they don't use it again it should be fine.

But I do share your concern a little.

>>84522776
That's comedy not edge.
Problem is they can't really do any more flower puns now because they will never stand up to the one in the pilot.

>>84523214
They don't give a fuck anymore.

>>84523879
I think you might be right.

That would be pretty cool

>>84523958
But there were a bunch of historical ghosts.

>>84523793
>One thing I kind of like is the joke of literally anyone can show up as a one and done gag.
Be ready for waves of arguments of what characters should come back for more appearances.

>>84523879
>entire class ends up in photo
>Lisa Rose is the very last person to join the photo, and with her inclusion ends the series

Might be cute.

>>84523798
I chuckled.

>>84523380
It would require retooling of the premise the idea is she can see the ghosts because they show themselves to her not any ability she has.

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>>84522457
>that federal soldier design
>that bayonet

>>84523373
chad this isnt facebook, i think you're on the wrong site

>>84524197
The high school stuff is a bit tired with the nerd and the popular girls but they hated her because of where she lives.

>>84522636
This pilot would have been a 10/10 if the ghosts were skeletons

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>>84527685
>THAT RIFLE

>>84525020
How the hell would the home schooling help make her a genius she might have a deep understanding of certain historical events but there otherwise not good choices for teachers.
Considering there was no ghost teacher there sending her to school I doubt there is one at all.

>>84526216
>it had animation bumps on random bits that didn't need it
it probably looks like animation bumps to you because it's a bunch of people with different skill sets

>>84527711
he isn't wrong, i think you're on the wrong board

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>>84522457
This animation seems so familiar... Does someone from Studio Yotta have any involvement?

I'm curious as to
>Why her parents aren't ghosts
>If Violet will be redeemed.

>>84528512
>>Why her parents aren't ghosts

>>84522633
>many of the episodes we've written out aren't set in school, but in part of the multi-planular simul-grid, Underworld, etc.
Maybe they're in one of those places.

>If Violet will be redeemed.
Fun fact: in flower symbolism, Violets are sometimes used to signify "faithfulness." I have no idea if that's a coincidence or if it was intentional, but it's kinda neat to consider.

>>84522457
I like this, but what happened to the girl's dead parents? Why are they not ghost?

>>84522457
it looks promising.

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>>84524897
oh, my fucking god, anon, that's you? You look like a fucking loser. I bet you died by committing suicide because "you just couldn't take it anymore."

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>>84522691
but thats what the bullies want you to believe

>>84527322
obviously the dress is gold u numbskull

>>84527979
i'm fairly certain at least a couple did; i think paul ter voorde animated most of not all of the intro scene.

>>84522457

The Graveyard Book
by Neil Gaiman

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This part was surprising well animated and fluid.

Despite everything being a little cliche, I hope we get some more

>>84522457
It's cute, but it suffers from the fact that it's just "Kid going to school and dealing with school problems BUT A WACKY TWIST!"

>>84523373
Not always. There was a girl in my school who actually thought she was hot shit because her dad owned a dealership. She went around bullying people with her entourage of buddies and everyone in school outside of her clique hated her but nobody would say anything because she'd freak out and take fights way too far.

Sure she wasn't exactly "Popular" but she fits the stereotype.

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>>84522457
>the girl's head
When will the meme end?

>>84522457
WOO WOO!

>>84522636
Not when you life on a world where most of people prefer monsters like vampires, werewolf and skeletons.

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>>84522457

>wears a large key on a string around her neck

The bucktoothed asian grill in Bunnicula does that too.

>>84522457
It just looks to overly generic.

Kind of bland.

>>84522691
>The humor is too on the nose.
>>shes different & that upsets me!
>>is that some kind of sentimental gift...
>>world history...the history of the world
>It lacks that kind of genuine comedic spark.
>Also the "Rich/attractive kids are spoiled brats & bullies while the nerds are friendly" doesn't jive anymore. The zeitgeist of the times is that the ugly/weird kids are angry outcasts and attractive people are open and affable.

Name 5 things where this is true

>>84522457
Could be some good porn of this

>>84522457

huh, super cute stuff. I liked that it played light on the humour, I liked the little story for what it was (cliches and all) and there's some good potential for a big arc here.

All told I see a lot of potential here and if nothing else, that art is cute as fuck.

>>84522457
This was fantastic and I hope to see more.

Now where's the porn?

>>84530991
>Sure she wasn't exactly "Popular" but she fits the stereotype.
That's the point. There are people like this but rarely are they popular.
I knew people like this and they tended to tread the middle ground of popularity; bullying the loosers with a circle of friends large enough to not be considered one, but never nice enough to be well liked by the majority of the school body.

>>84523882
Are you pedophile? Really?

>>84533042
Pfft, yeah and killing people in video games makes you a murderer. Get real, chump.

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bump

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>>84527979

>>84533042

Please leave, and never come back.

>>84523532

These popular girls are flat chested.

>>84534711
yeah someone needs to draw them with huge tits am i right

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Well shit, almost everything is a rip-off of something. That 10 fps CalArts animation really bothers me, i thought only greedy japanese people can be so lazy.
>it's normal to be weird
I mean, you can describe this thought a bit better with just couple sentences more. A lot of people gonna take it wrong.

Good lord that was boring. Not even teenage ghost waifu can save it.

>>84522457
Seems incredibly generic.

>>84523438
But it's a boring trope that has existed forever.
You know what would be interesting? A popular girl character that wasn't a cunt.

>>84522691
I actually thought the "world history... the history of the world" was kind of funny. But I agreed on the other points.

>>84523879

that's actually a pretty good idea.

>>84536774
but that doesnt give me a boner as much as bitches do

>>84531547
But doesn't that key hold a strong significance? We don't know if the key in Obituary is for anything beyond sentimental value.

>>84522844
This. I don't expect it to be good but who knows.

>>84536651
care to elaborate? All i can think of is the color pallete and humor.

>>84522457
Some parts seemed a bit overanimated, but overall it seemed pretty interesting.

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>>84530779
>Rave cementery
Holy shit I want to go to that place.

>>84527979
The intro scene is definitely Paul Ter Voorde's work.

The sad thing is that if this got made into an actual series the animation would go to shit.

The only reason the animation here looks decent is because its a pilot, and they had the freedom to do what they wanted.

Once they get a real budget, and studio execs breathing down their necks the animation will take a dive to save money, and it will be generic as fuck shit animated by koreans.

>>84524079
Poor purple chick will never get a personality.

>>84540360
Keep in mind that the designs are really bland too. If it did get picked up for a series, I hope that they improve the designs to make them more memorable.

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>>84541345
Pretty sure her name is Daisy, but her character design is terrible for a character named Daisy, though. She'd be okay as a Lily, imo. Violet looks great for a Violet, though.

Daisy's deal reminds me of Drizella, the ugly stepsister from Cinderella who never got a redemption sequel, while Anastasia got both a short segment and her own movie.

MORE DEAD PEOPLE GAGS.

>>84522776
I just figured that the joke was "this popular girl is so obsessed with taking the chilld MC down a peg, she really has nothing better to do with her time, what a hollow loser"

>>84524197
>Implying nerds don't get bullied
>Implying girls don't verbally eviscerate one another for no real reason
You're either a normie or you were homeschooled.

>>84522457
It has potential, the concept is nice, girl lives with ghosts
I don't like the key as a necklace, seems cliche...as were a lot of things in this were cliche
The ghosts just feel kinda there and are not really important even though they seem to be the hook of the show
Mean rich girl is over done
I wish they introduced a rich girl, everyone says they're intimidating and mean, but is actually a really nice person and becomes friends with protag, I don't think rich always equals bitch as a lot of creators seem to think

I enjoyed it but I think I'm spoiled when it comes to characterization
I don't feel like simple character archetypes work anymore
You can have the bully, or the nerd, or the rich bitch, but at least have a little more to them that so I can care a little bit more
Also make the ghosts do more and say more, again they are the hook

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>Objection!

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>>84523408
>>84523544
Can someone explain to me why it's just accepted that ghosts don't have legs?

>>84542880
maybe it is both easier to draw and easier to distinguish?

>>84527685
>>84527804
It could have been any number of weird experimental carbine designs that were used in the war.

>>84543000
more bothers me that it sometimes is there and sometimes isnt in the same scene.

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sad for high five ghosts, even ghosts from a pilot episode are more appealing than him

>>84542880
Just guessing: maybe it's a symbolic thing. Your feet are where you touch the ground. They're the part of you attached to the earth. But ghosts don't have physical attachment anymore. Making them float without feet literally removes their earthly tether.

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The voice acting isn't as bad as everyone's making out to be.

Problem is, is that everyone just sounds generic really.

>>84543158
I'd excuse the voice acting more if the voices themselves were more distinct. They're nothing special.

I keep saying it but "memorable" is really what this thing is lacking, in pretty much every category.

>>84523532
dibs on the brown one with the drills

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so here's my take on it.

Nothing happened.

The ghosts didn't do anything at school. There was no mischief. Nothing.

It looked like one of the ghosts was about to cause problems but it ended up being handled to cleanly.

>>84544105
Yeah. When one of the ghosts said "No June, WE blew it.." I was asking myself, how so? They didn't do anything. June kind of made a few weird outbursts but literally no one noticed, and the thing that actually did piss off Lisa Rose was something June would have done anyway with or without ghosts. The ghosts were just kinda there.

I wanted them to say there was some kind of rule that June wasn't allowed to just ignore the ghosts or she'd lose the power to see them or something to inject a little conflict, but that was pure headcanon going on on my part and there was no reason June couldn't just go about class as though they weren't there.

>>84522579
Shut up Stacy

Is that the ghost of Stonewall Jackson?

>>84524650
>not making the photo full of light orbs
missed gag opportunity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mptpw8fQ-lw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byAfC5yW_hw

>>84522457
I never understood those high school stereotypes. I don't know if they ever existed, but they certainly didn't exist in the late 2000's. Kids aren't assaulted in the middle of school because everyone keeps their hands to themselves, and if anyone really is a "popular" kid, they're usually able to put on a pleasant demeanor, and their popularity goes unspoken instead of being explicitly stated by, well, anyone.

Seriously,
>shoving kid into locker
What the fuck?

Also, if Lisa Rose is rich, why the fuck does she attend public school?

>>84522457
The only thing I care about is waifus, and so far I've counted about 6 good ones in 1 episode, so I like it.

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>>84523542

>>84547205
She might just be comparatively rich. I think she was described as "richest girl in school," not "richest girl in town." And besides she even pretty much said she (and possibly her family) has something against forms of schooling that aren't "normal school."

You're right about everything else, though. The school and the students in it were overdone and boring.

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One of the cowriters has been assaulted by a ghost before so this make sense

>>84547577
I believe she was stated to be from the richest family in the county

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Losing JonTron's really turned him dark.

>>84547205
How can a kid even fit in a locker without being seriously injured?

>>84522457
> characters' stroke widths varying like some 2003 Newgrounds Flash shit

Who will you pay to actually animate this?

>>84547908
Your school must have had some seriously small lockers. They vary in size from school to school and some of the bigger ones could fit a smaller sized high school student if they were very uncomfortably wedged in there.

>>84547908
By being a scrawny little dweeblord and not jacked as fuck like me I so muscular get all the girls.

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fixed

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>>84547679
fixed

>>84524650
reminds me of vivian james

>>84548374

>>84549335

wow I didn't scroll down far enough

>>84548374
gamergater_with_all_their_friends.jpg

>>84549639
lol nice burn
fuck those MRA scum bags!

It's as if the Calarts meme style went back to early 2000s highschool drama movies.

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>>84548374
double fixed

>>84549639
>le gamergate boogeyman
Please fuck off Quinn
http://degree180.com/8686-2/

>>84522457
Was that Jackie Buscarino as not-Pacifica?

Also, damn, that was boring.

bumpu

>>84548374
>>84549823
Thanks Doc, but I might have to go to /v/ to get the actual amount of dosage.

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>>84549823

She reminds me of someone...

>>84531401
When it stops looking good

>>84551436
>>84551515
daily reminder that there is nothing wrong with lurking

>>84549930
Get outta here you paranoid hothead

>>84522457
ha
yeah this was pretty good
wouldnt mind that as a real show

>>84549823
If I were to ever make a pilot i would sneak a loss in there somewhere.

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>>84522457
>that key necklace
oh, please, not THAT thing in video game

>>84551949
and baneposting, don't forget baneposting

So by pilot, are they pitching this to a network or are they making a webseries? Can't find anything

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>Hey V-Sauce!

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Why is Egoraptor attacking Dexter?

>>84522457
>Paranorman but with a cute orphan girl and as an animated series.

Yes please

>>84553997

why does the cartoonist think 50s style jackets and greaser style is still a thing

>>84554521

literally nothing paranormal happened. Yes I know there where ghosts. Nothing happened.

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>>84556057
He said Paranorman, not paranormal.

>>84556150

I can read. Shit still didn't happen.

It's like the creator was so in love with their idea they made a pilot before they actually had a script

>>84556189
Yeah, but, the premise is still exactly the same as ParaNorman, just not as good. It lacks ghost curses raising puritan zombies and all that, but it's still about a schoolchild surrounded by ghostbros from various time periods that only they can see and they get bullied for it and then befriend their nerdy ginger sidekick with a gland problem. Like anyone can see it is the same damn thing, minus all the charm and effort.

>>84556272
>minus all the charm and effort.

well that's really my whole point. The creator had an idea for a teen who has ghost buddies but didn't actually put in any thought beyond that. It's like they felt the ghosts being there where enough despite not doing anything with them.

I know there's only so much you can do in a pilot but instead of having NOTHING happen they could tried, I dunno following the whole school day putting the ghosts in different situations

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>>84522457
>Those are fighting words. June get your pistol.

It's dumb but I laughed. Cute pilot, would watch if it became a thing.

>>84522457
>rich popular blonde antagonist
again?

>>84556853

art imitates life

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>>84522457
>Parents dead
>Don't even bother showing up as ghosts.

The fuck

>>84522457
I liked it. The ghosts were probably the best characters but I feel like they might wear out their welcome fairly quickly depending on the quality of the writing.

You know, if they really want the popular girl to hate the main character, why couldn't they just have the token good friend of the popular girls become friends with the main character instead?

That would give popular girl more of an incentive to hate the main character, aside from general weirdness. Losing a 'friend' to 'cemetery girl.'

>>84549823
You improved my work vastlu

>>84557165
You don't see that taking place based on the mistreatment they suffer in the pilot alone? Its gonna get mean girls up in here

>everyone dies

God damn you Hickman

>>84556990
Maybe they had no unfinished business

>>84547679

Glad I wasn't the only one seeing a bit of Egoraptor in that design.

I find the animation and voicework good. The story is dull and the premise "Protag surrounded by ghostly friends" doesn't sell itself to me, not without something more interesting than "and she's in the most stereotypical high school setting imaginable."

> but we're going to subvert tropes

How about you learn to write interesting stories first. This as it stands isn't one of those.

>>84522457
EVEN MORE OF THE SAME NOODLEY-ARMED CUTESY BULLSHIT

THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

>>84556990
They'll probably go into that later.

>>84522633
>trope subversions
>deconstruction

I'm honestly tired of this shit

>>84522579
>>84522651
>>84523373

Being mean at my school was cool. Being mean to people outside your social circle or to the "losers" was cool.

The trope is a trope for a reason. Because it happened. Being mean to people was cool.

> If you where unpopular it was because you where a stupid little shityt weirdo

Yup, baited.

I know these posts are hours old but still - Felt this was nonsense enough to warrant a reply.

>>84523891
Found the cal arts graduate

>>84523373
>Muh personal anecdotes

>>84547205
>I never understood those high school stereotypes. I don't know if they ever existed, but they certainly didn't exist in the late 2000's.
I went to school about 20 years before that.

Sounds like things have changed for the better. Things were bad in school when I was a kid. The fact that nobody went full columbine in my school was surprising. Teachers looked the other way. Literally just, "Hey. Uh. stop. Yeah. stop it. Or whatever." Kids getting physically bullied as well as picked on daily. I'd give stories about my experience but it's too personal.

Suffice to say there were people who were bullied way more than patrick or harris whatstherinames at columbine and back then there was no security. Lived in a very small town of about 2000 people. Someone did something or your family did you were a pariah the next day and you never lived it down. The entire town (like most small towns) worked like this.

Yeah. There's a reason these tropes are a thing. And they're typically toned down in cartoons from what actually happens.

>>84547205
>if Lisa Rose is rich, why the fuck does she attend public school?
Some public schools are closer. Some private schools are only k-5 or k-6 and they transfer when they are in middle school. Some transfer into high school.
Some put their kids in public school because it builds character.

Some get kicked out of private school. Lots of reasons really.

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>>84522457
High concept, low execution.

In the end it looks like some bad fanfiction infected with post-weeaboo syndrome and self-destructive humor

>still no porn
im heavily disappointed in all of you
do i have to take this to a drawthread

>>84522457

>2 days

>and still no porn

Why bother?

>>84561629
You draw something fag.

>>84522579
I don't know how it works for girls, but I can tell you the whole "jocks are jerks" thing is bullshit.

The biggest assholes are always the skinny little fuckers who vaguely try to be tough.

>>84562586

>draw something

I can't draw for shit, you fucknut.

>>84544105
Really this. I love the premise, they just need to actually do things with it

>>84557347
They didn't seem to even be close to done with raising their daughter.

>>84557165
It seems like something they've got planned, but just not a pilot/first episode kind of plot point.

next ep when

>>84563161
>>84559307