Storytime: What If... Jessica Jones Had Joined the Avengers

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Feel free to chatter and post reaction images. It's only 22 pages.

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Maybe not a movie, but maybe a Netflix show? Damn it, Bendis, it's bad enough you actually appeared in your own fanfic as the storyteller.

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Ah yes, let's spend the first quarter of this one-off issue recapping her entire backstory. Great.

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Man. I would have once questioned whether the Avengers were able to be driven to such brutality, by that was before the MCU gave us cute Wanda. Protect her smile, with maximum brutality! Hit that unknown durability woman with your hammer, Thor!

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I know know Bendis, taking out Wanda? This early? The shit that Jessica would have unknowingly saved the setting from, including the X-Men.

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Jessica, this weird bald guy is telling your entire life story (which only S.H.I.E.L.D and Drew know in full) including your giant whore phase (which we readers only got a glimpse of) and you are just getting melancholy instead of wondering who the fuck he is and why he is telling this to someone knowing full well you are in earshot?

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And ten pages in, the story actually starts, with a surprisingly in-character moment for Steve. Well, in-character for MCU Steve. Comic Cap has always been a massive dick, generally.

>>84181349
>What If?
>instead of being narrated by The Watcher, it's narrated by The Bendis
Bravo Bendis.

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In joke about how she always gets stopped at security in Alias and Pulse. That little smirk. Actually made me smile. Bravo.

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Man, sometimes I forget how awesome some of the classic Avengers teams were.

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>>84181691

Yeah, that said though, why the hell would the Watcher care about Jessica Jones? Her entire thing is that she has to work up to mediocre when it comes to superheroing. Granted, it's more due to her being a mom and a concession to Alias doing well, but she was a glorified supporting character for Luke and whatever team he was on until her Netflix show did well.

That said...

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>>84181691
>>84181835
>That said...

...this might have been reason enough to use the Watcher, as this would have changed the setting and outcome pretty drastically.

>>84181835
Oh, it definitely works better the way it is. It just says a lot about Bendis.

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Nice. Jessica saves the world by not being an inattentive self-absorbed superhero. You make that mediocrity work for you, girl!

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D'awwww.

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>Unlocked new identity: Unblacked Woman. Taste those spangles.

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>Jessica: "Well, now I'm going to go home to my self-absorbed black husband and unplanned baby. That said, I could also throw myself of Brooklyn Bridge and see if the sweet release of death is an option. Fucking bald guy.

That's all folks. The END.

This was a fanfic of how much 'better' the future would have been if Bendis could have shipped his waifu with Captain America.

>tfw you actually do see it as a 'good end' to the true ending we got. We Visual Novels now.

>>84181642
Does Bendis realize just how fucking creepy he is in this issue?

>>84182095

Nah, he's too busy fanboying. And he really, really is, isn't he?

>>84182095
>>84182179
Bendis seems to believe he's an enchanting storyteller and that this ramblings are beautiful, quaint and mean something to everyone when he's really just odd and needs to stop talking.

He's no Gaiman, that's for sure.

>>84182579
>>84182028

From her face in that last panel, I think she agrees with you.

Okay. Bendis is creepy as fuck, but the story was good. I'm disappointed now that I can't read the continuing adventures of Jessica and Cap.

>>84181323
Honestly wish there was a "What If Spider-Man and Jessica Jones were married" book. Where instead of Jess telling Peter to fuck off she actually accepts his compassion. I always thought they would make a good couple.

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Is there any "what if?" title that hasn't been applied to the main comics yet?

>>84181904
That's dumb. There were mitigating circumstances the first time around. Anyone else remember that Cap was dating Scarlet Witch at the time this all went through?

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>>84181349
>bending their necks like this in panel 4
So is bendis and his friend an owl race or possed like the girl in the exorist?

>>84185229

Oh shit, I hadn't noticed that. My sides.

>>84184706
Sometimes you try something in elseworld stories and see it can work.
Or a writer reads it and like the idea.
Nothing unusual.
See early Marvel stuff like "tales of the astonishings", they tried things and saw how it got accepted by readers or how it will work in the long run.

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>>84185288
Yeah, but it's not just a couple. Pretty much all the major What If titles have been made canon in some way.

>>84185326
And? Ideas come and go.
What ifs are testing grounds. like your pics show, not all at a time but scattered in the timeline.
As long as they dont rely too much on what if plots, im ok with it.
It isnt as if the last 5 years it was all what if plots. Thery are scattered in the time they publish comics.
And for the examples you gave, tzhere aer many plots they didnt used.

But nice finding

>>84185326
>>84185474
>>84185507
>>84185574

These are cool. That said, let's save some image bumps for later, so that more people get the chance to read before the thread archives.

>>84185616

Or, you know, not.

>>84185507
Elektra living technically never happened, she died and then was brought back to life in Miller's own run, so it wasn't something that came out of nowhere or was borne entirely out of a dearth of originality. No that came after Miller stopped writing her.

>>84183818

me too, anon.

>>84181688
Dude, your MCU ramblings are obnoxious. You need to read more comics. Damned neo-/co/.

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>>84186319

Mate, I've been reading since I was a kid, I just vastly prefer the MCU to the current state of comics, and as a storytelling medium. I dare say the majority that think so have read comics long before /co/ even existed. If you don't like my ramblings, just look at the pretty pictures and ignore them.

On that note, I would love to see this in the MCU, with Jessica and Scott dating for a bit. But damn movie segregation.

>>84181856
I don't get this.

I missed Wanda going loony when it happened, is this an allusion to it? Is that one of her demon-babies or something?

>>84185201
>>84181904

> Busiek: Wanda uses Chthon's Chaos Magic. She also gets depressed a fair bit.
> Bendis: It's Reality Warping power from Magneto what caused it.
> Heinberg: It's the Life Force what caused it.
> Robinson: Chaos Magic is woman magic. Unclear if Cheeky Elder God still in the mix.
> King: Wanda apparently gave Vision her brain patterns in Busiek era, long before "Life Force" shenanigans, and makes reference to Chaos Magic. Given Virginia's behaviour, we can thus deduce Wanda's problems originated from Busiek era and presumably CM.

>>84186631
And fuck I have not even mentioned Byrne's shit.

> ItsImmortusnoitsChthonnoitsMagnetoandrealitywarpingnoitsLifeForceandDoomnoitsWomanmagicnoitwasChthonallalongbecausebrainpatternsandeverbloom.

>>84186631
>>84186673

So the chaos bit has even broken the fourth wall, to the point the 'gods' of Marvel don't have consensus? Because that's some meta shit right there. At least, for all his writing faults, Bendis answer is the simplest.

>>84186400
Is this implying black men have large cocks that when inserted into a woman's anus it is externally painful, but when white men do the same thing they have small cocks and therefore don't cause any feelings to women when they butt fuck them?

>>84186631
>>84186673

To me this is one of the points of having a overall setting with shared characters, you need to decide on this shit.

What part of her powers is "mutant" and which is "magic" and a vague definition of each should be written in a file that anyone who wants to write her has to read.

>>84186860

That's the joke of the format, but the actual context is her mind is elsewhere, and while she acknowledges he is a great guy she just isn't as into him as Luke.

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And coming soon...

>>84181570
Jesus, this girl looks like a gorilla

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>tfw Spidey BTFOs Luke Cage.

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Early bedtime for this bong. I'm fucked. If anyone wants to keep the storytime up so amerifags can read it, it's your ship from now on. Sail it til we autosage.

>>84181688

Is it just me or does the last panel remind anyone of the infamous teen grey panel.