Post times that you acted like the joker

>>83691707
>>actually got beaten and and shoved into a locker by a bully
Hahahahahahaha what a faggot

File: average joker.png (29KB, 271x270px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 271x270px

>>83691707
you madman
you should be taken away for that

>>83691707
>actually got beaten and and shoved into a locker by a bully
what the fuck, i thought shit only happened in movies and tv shows lmao what a fucking fag

File: joker-500_04461375-06f0-449f-a13f-5675063f4772_medium.jpg (47KB, 240x240px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 240x240px

>go to bed
>mom asks me if I've brushed my teeth
>tell her I did
I actually went to bed without brushing my teeth

>>83691862
One time the cashier rang me up for 10 ramen when I really had 11
I didn't tell her that she missed one
>mfw the police are probably still looking for me

>>83691707
Sounds like the joker to me.

>>83692873
Mustve been tramatizing for the poor cashier lady.

>>83691707
>soneone says there getting a new tattoo
>scream "MOMS GONNA FREAK" as loud as i can.

One time I lost the remote control, but later found it in the couch cushions

>>83691707
I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning

is there an incarnation of the joker that wouldnt be worthy of being picked apart as essentially a fourteen year old

I die a little when I read this.

>>83692988
Yeah, so?

File: Damaged.png (423KB, 440x750px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 440x750px

>mom makes me go to bed early
>stay up posting dank memes all night
>fail my exam the next day
>tell her i was meant to be an artist
I AM STILL IN ART CLASSES TO THIS DAY, WORKING FOR MINIMUM WAGE!

File: 1449395178589.jpg (84KB, 631x637px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 631x637px

>waiter asks if i have any allergies
>tell them i do
>i really don't

>>83693119
Without any MILK

File: 04.jpg (633KB, 1800x4997px) Image search: [Google]

633KB, 1800x4997px

>>83693035
This one

and TDKR one

I wrote on the wall with crayon.

>>83691707
>Did something bad
>Didn't get raped by Batman
>Did the bad thing again
The Joker is literally me.

File: Untitled123.png (283KB, 479x371px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 479x371px

>>83693155
>the fucking wig is photoshoped in there

>>83693136
Uhh... RIGHT THIS WAY, SIR!

File: 001.jpg (711KB, 1800x4594px) Image search: [Google]

711KB, 1800x4594px

>>83693209
Say that to my face, not online see what happens

>>83691707
This thread is worse than the time Joker stole a random kids report card.

File: PHo9AxfHxUEFsq_1_l.jpg (83KB, 766x950px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 766x950px

>>83693250

File: 1280728994757.png (21KB, 278x298px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 278x298px

>>83691707
>tfw the local police keeps trying to get a vigilante to rape me

File: 002.jpg (337KB, 1800x2527px) Image search: [Google]

337KB, 1800x2527px

>>83693252

>>83693291
shit is still Ps'd in there

>>83693035
>having depression makes you a 14 year old
okay

>>83693035
How is the joker a 14yr old?

File: think_bout_rape.jpg (38KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 640x480px

>>83693155
>>83693250
>>83693268
>>83693291
Looks like somebody's hankering for a hefty dose of rape.

>>83693291
What the fuck is going on with his face?

>>83693336
What? What are you talking about?

>>83693035
Pretty much any joker that isn't a modern version. I mean, look at the BTAS version works way better and in contrast to Ledgers Joker is still regarded highly after 20 years.

>>83693291
His nose is Joker's nose but everything else is tragic

File: 114286964087990526434731937403156.jpg (16KB, 320x320px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 320x320px

>>83691707

I'm intelligent, nihilistic and have a WICKED sense of humour

File: jaroker.png (78KB, 532x540px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 532x540px

Yesterday...
I told someone to spell ICUP out loud.

>Posting on 4chan
>captcha asks to pick all beverages
>I select a picture of a brick before unselecting it
>laugh on the floor for a good 5 minutes
>mom asks me whats wrong
>"It's April fools day, mother!"
>It's really March
I nearly died laughing.

File: 1436452757074.gif (31KB, 162x166px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 162x166px

>"Could I get a coke please?"
>"Sorry we only have pepsi, is that ok?"
>"Thats alright"
>We had both

>>83694402
Sometimes you have to force them to have the better drink.

I asked someone to pull my finger, but when they did, I farted as loud as I could.

File: MOM'S.jpg (37KB, 575x627px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 575x627px

>Playing Halo infection
>See zombie
>Let teammate run in front and get killed
>Kill zombie, claiming the score points and ammo

>>83694402
I hope they bury you alive

File: 1465420359314.png (92KB, 960x560px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 960x560px

>>83694542
>Pepsi
>Better

File: download.jpg (47KB, 600x315px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 600x315px

>prank called my uncle
>"is your refrigerator running?"
>"anon is that you?"
>....
>"...fuck off"
>hang up

try and stop me

File: found in a 'post your orgasm face' thread.jpg (64KB, 600x765px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 600x765px

>Mom asks me to bring in groceries
>Leave the ice cream behind
>Melts overnight
>It was my favorite kind
My psychiatrist says there is no hope for me.

>>83693822
Cosplay is not consent, Gordon. Go for it.

>Order pizza in the middle of a blizzard.
>Don't answer the door when the delivery man shows up.
>Wait 10 minutes then call them to complain I didn't get my pizza.
>He comes back.
>Take the pizza and give him no tip.

I'm always playing mindgames with these insects!

I totally fucked this girl that liked me and never called her again, from what I understand she went crazy

I told the guy at the Restaurant it was my Birthday.

File: thuglife.jpg (84KB, 570x791px) Image search: [Google]

84KB, 570x791px

>High school building only has one nasty-as-fuck student bathroom that's always crowded and has grody stalls and is just a painful experience
>Go to the third floor of the school, to the secret personal bathroom of the old alumni director/school chairman
>It's even more secret than the faculty bathroom students can't use, has a really comfy atmosphere and a little portrait of a pink seashell
>Use Hidden Grotto Commode for the majority of senior year
>Near the end of the year the chairman sees me exiting his domain
>I ask him with plain politeness whether or not it's okay for me to use his bathroom
>He was fine with it

>>83695117
Did he have to sing?

File: renner.png (68KB, 177x250px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 177x250px

I picked up my dog's favorite tennis ball and threw it out the door and he went chasing after it but I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THROW THE BALL HA HA HA HA

File: batman_beyond_-_1x03_-_black_out_vpcavi_snapshot_1858_20101022_214052.jpg (13KB, 432x324px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 432x324px

Bruce, my father left this in his will. We need to rape the Joker. Its the only way to stop him.

I once poisoned a portion of the ocean to have Fish look like me, then tried to claim copyright on them because they looked like me.

>>83695327
Look, we've been over this, you can do it, but only if you set up distinct fisheries for them, like those Grapple and Plumcot things.
I mean there are tax codes, and nobody wants to get on the IRS's bad side.
Side note, are you behind those hybrid fruit things too?

>>83695743
But that doesn't sound like a get rich quick scheme at all. It sounds like a lot of time, money, and hard work.

>>83691707
>One night I was drunk walking home with a friend
>Get a craving for candy
>Convenient store sells gummies for 25 cents each
>Get 12
>He asks how many
>I say 10
I'm wanted in 2 countries

>Notice I'm out of eggs
>go to the store to get some
>Find what I need a go to the cash
>Very nice woman
Tell her to give me all the money in the register as I wave my gun in her face before killing her
Escape and I am currently still on the run

>>83696139
Did you rape her?

>post thread on 4chin
>get no replies
>reply to my own thread pretending to be someone else
We all go a lil crazy sometimes =^)

>>83691707
School uniform is black socks. I wore white socks!

>Poke holes in condom
>end up not having sex at all

I am the true trickster

File: it is time.png (490KB, 719x538px) Image search: [Google]

490KB, 719x538px

>>83696752
>Pay child support
>It's not my kid

>>83696958
>pick up kid in Van
>drop him off at school perfectly fine
>not registerd as sez offender

>Order meatlovers pizza
>Complain there's meat in it

THE DELIVERY BOY'S GONNA FREAK

File: but how can our jokes be real if our schemes aren't real.png (411KB, 540x657px) Image search: [Google]

411KB, 540x657px

>>83697002
>Fuck a lot of women
>I'm gay

>friend died this week
>mom asks me if im ok
>tell her i am ok when i feel numb and every minute my waking day is a struggle which i drown with alcohol

Hahaha jokes on her

>At a cafe with friends
>We all order our food
>Waiter asks if he can get us anything else
>Say no
>Actually wanted a drink

>was given a check to cash for someone against someone he knows account
>cashed it
>told him they wouldn't let me and kept the money for myself

>a gay kid who was a friend of a friend lost his wallet in the woods when we were all drinking
>reminded he had $80 in it
>went off to look for it separately knowing if I found it I'd keep it
>Found it and pocketed it
>went back to friends
>she left, waited for my mom to puck me up
>he confessed he liked me
>told him I'm not gay and that he'll find someone eventually
>got in mom's car and went through wallet
>got pissed because there was only 60
>went over my friends and got weed and burned his id's for kicks

>literally attacked people ith mace as a distraction to steal a safe

You're all joking i know but you're all pathetic...
I swear on my grandmother's life those are all true stories
Do something brutal and evil and post it or gtfo

>>83697159
Bruh.

>>83697159
You are a menace to society

>My mom told me she bought me a fedora
>I told her I dont like fedoras
>I actually wear it every day

>>83697243
Not sure if bait or actual 13 year old.

>>83694691
There both fine drinks but in the end Pepsi comes out on top

The best is doctor pepper thpugh

>>83695977
My sides

>>83696290
That's not funny

>>83697322
It's not just bait, it's the best post in this thread. This is exactly what the Joker we are all attempting to mimic would post.

>place an order at the mcdonalds drive thru
>pay the money
>then drive off without getting food

>>83697062
You like him, don't you?

>using bathroom
>finish
>go to zip up my pants
>zip my foreskin on accident
>laughed from the pain

>>83691707
Fuck the Joker, here's how I acted like Bane one time.

>be me, middle school
>my pituitary gland is reverse-retarded, be fucking huge in 7th grade
>some grill thought I was cute, starts talking to me in gym
>"hey anon, what's that you're doing?"
>doing curls, but i knew fuckall about lifting "I think they're called lift-ups"
>"nobody else does those,"no shit they're all 4 feet tall or some shit "you're a really big guy"
>"y-you too"

>take a massive shit in a public toilet
>flush it
>don't smear it all over the stall or floor
You cannot contain me!

File: 123.jpg (9KB, 170x177px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 170x177px

>go to subway one day during the summer
>broke-ass high school me has $10
>order sandwich with pepperoni and delicious tendies
>only have money for on meat
>just say "o-oh, shucks, lemme just... here, maybe in this pocket..."
>do this for five minutes, cashier gets pissed
>"just take the sandwich and next time, make sure you have enough money sir"
>walk outside, start eating sandwich
>some faggot in a black cape and a hood jumps out and fucks me in the ass
>mfw I got three different kinds of meat for lunch
>mfw I only paid for one

File: Jake_the_cloth_sex_conway.png (965KB, 855x607px) Image search: [Google]

965KB, 855x607px

>>83698697
*upvoted*

>Went to a public toilet
>Didn't flush
>Didn't wash my hands either
No one can stop me!

File: tbqh.png (2MB, 1000x967px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1000x967px

>>83698697

>>83694134
Holy Shit, that's a little too far do you think ?

File: leto2.png (79KB, 605x306px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 605x306px

>>83698962

File: leto3.png (88KB, 607x285px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 607x285px

>>83699036

>>83698861
Wally pls go

File: leto4.png (306KB, 600x473px) Image search: [Google]

306KB, 600x473px

>>83699063

>>83693268
is this from some awful cosplay? Please tell me it is

>>83694134

philip banks???

>>83698962
>>83699036
>>83699063
>>83699085
Are these real?

>>83695057
You're just a dick.

>>83700078

Are you?

One time my mom got me a shirt for my birthday, but it was the wrong size so I asked her if she was stupid.

She sent me to my room and told me no video games for the rest of the day but she didn't know I had my Nintendo DS in my pocket

My hands are actually shaking right now because I've never told anyone this.

File: (Horse_laughter).gif (530KB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

530KB, 480x270px

>>83698697
>>mfw I got three different kinds of meat for lunch
>>mfw I only paid for one
That little bit killed me. That is a perfectly morbid joke.

>>83697322
>>83697696
I really do promise this is not bait and I am 26 but I did the first thing when I was 17. The second when I was 16 and the third when I was 21.

I did time for the third. A year in county and I'm still on probation. The charges were burglary 3rd degree, assault 3rd and theft 4th degree.

I'm not really proud of the last one. The people I attacked were my exs dad and grandfather but the grandfather was a beast, not a frail old man.

Don't be like me when it comes to the burglary but the first to you should try to mimic because in reality we are all the joker. Some people cross the line to actually attempt his actions buy most are too afraid of what they'll become if they do.

Some people just want to see the world burn man. It's not just a lie to act "cool" or bait but my honest to God life.

I'll tell more stories if anyone's interested btw. I got good drug and theft stories and I'm not done by a long shot.

Just because a lot of people on here lie doesn't mean there's not truth here too.

I'll even post my mugshot if I can find it for proof.

Is there some sorta meme I missed about Batman raping the Joker?

>>83691707
i used to act like hamill's joker from BTAS all the time as a teen. but then i had a really shitty home life and after i left home at 17 it stopped other than the hamill like laugh when i'm enraged.

>Go to Wal-Mart
>Self checkout
>When scanning stuff, take two objects in hand when the cashier isn't looking and set them in the sack
I'm a sick man.

>>83701514
The problem is that you didn't get the point of this thread. Your stories were good, but this is one about being facetious. A fake kind of "edgy" making fun of Leto's jokes.

>>83701910
this one time a guy attacked me at school because he thought i was hitting on his girlfriend aka the village bicycle and he punches me. i picked up this little table next to a chair in the common area and just start beating his ass with it cackling the entire time and repeating looks like i'm going to have to teach you manners, what say you mr table?

>>83702313
Lel

I wish this story were real. I liked it.

>>83693988
Pretty much. Joker just works better as a thug with a gimmick, not chaos incarnate.

File: batfag btfo.jpg (1MB, 1920x1476px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1476px

>>83691707
one time I had to use the bathroom, and I used the urinal instead of toilet to poo poo. Had to be put in a mental hospital for ten years cause they couldn't handle the madness.

Arguably, this channer is probably the youngest who suffers from this. 'The joker" is practically the invisible label that's under the berserk button of this 13 year old kid. He broke 33 pencils in his life time and had a good friend break 2 of those because they were too hard. He even yelled at someone because they were the third person who asked if he could be punched for the third time, with a teacher only a mile away!

One time in 3rd grade I was picking my nose and when people acted disgusted I said I had gotten a splinter in there, I'm wanted in Oklahoma & New Hampshire

>>83702236
I actually got it after I posted. I only read a couple of them so I jumped the gun. It's pretty funny. I honestly think Leto has no right to be playing the joker but everyone keeps saying he's good.. I don't get it. Is he? Or was it a whiff?

>>83691707
>made up a story about a time I acted like the joker
>story never happened and I'm not the joker
>maybe it did and I am

>>83691707
>coming home from movies
>tell my dad I'm hungry and want pizza hut
>he drives for an hour
>we get there
>I tell him I'm not hungry

Just happened

File: Spooky Zombie Necrorocker.png (260KB, 704x396px) Image search: [Google]

260KB, 704x396px

>start a new thread on /co/
>tell everyone how much I liked a movie
>didn't actually like it

Sometimes I send pictures of really delicious looking food to people to make them hungry, or post them in public places for the same effect.

I feel like its one of the most subtly evil things you can easily get away with doing. I enjoy contributing to the obesity of others.

File: 1891163_367201416754669_407725596_n.png (236KB, 328x398px) Image search: [Google]

236KB, 328x398px

>>83698697
Caught me off guard

>>83693035
Mobster joker/Jack Nicholson

>>83703417
There's no way of knowing for sure until Soosai Squid comes out. He looks good from the trailers though.

>>83702860

Using troper tales is cheating man.

>>83712838
I know this is a thread for Leto-tier Joker shenanigans but I legitimately feel unnerved looking at this.

>>83696139
Kekked
>>83696307
Go to bed Charles Manson.

>>83699071
Fuck off Luthor.

>>83712838
This gave me anxiety

>>83714859
It's no less of a threat than carpet tacks, which you've managed to avoid for your entire life thus far.

>>83714951
That is true.

Carpet tacks also freak me out though.

I really just have a big fear of needles.

>>83697810
I swear to god that's gonna be the next coning.

File: newmeme26.png (10KB, 325x318px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 325x318px

>>83691707
>driving car
>light turns orange
>speed up
>make it through just before it turns red
I'M UNHINGED

File: 1459499964379.png (216KB, 338x401px) Image search: [Google]

216KB, 338x401px

I loosened the top of the salt shaker, so when my friend used it all the salt fell on his food ruining his meal.

>>83697243
TRUE EVIL
But seriously why are you such an asshole

>>83695057
>hides when someone knocks

Mind games

File: 3zFydU2_1.jpg (46KB, 476x436px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 476x436px

>walking down the street
>see woman with her kid
>think to myself it would be funny if I pretend to be a rapist and rape them both
>I punch the woman and start raping her
>the little kid tries to run but I'm faster and rape her too lmao
>i got the woman's id so I find where she lives
>she has a family
>I rape her husband, her dog, her fridge and her old father
>her brother sees me and enter the house trying to stop me
>I rape him too
>somebody call the cops
>I rape one of them but the other is too fat for me
>they take me to prison
>cops ask me why I raped all those people
>say it's because I'm a rapist
>they give me life sentence
>mfw I'm not a actual rapist
>mfw it was all a joke
>mfw everything is a big joke

What is the difference between being D-E-V-E-L-I-S-H and being like the joker?

File: 1464914821644.jpg (23KB, 352x425px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 352x425px

>>83716946
How are you able to use 4chan then?

>>83714951
I did step on a carpet tack once, shit hurt

>>83691806
At my high school it was physically impossible for someone to fit in a locker

Unless your bully was the kind of psycho who cuts people into little pieces or something

>>83717121
He writes his posts out on toilet paper, has somebody on the outside smuggle them out, members of M-13 spraypaint his greentexts in cue locations, and then a hired shitposter posts them.

File: 1465585794675.jpg (355KB, 704x1024px) Image search: [Google]

355KB, 704x1024px

>>83694134
I just threw up in my mouth you sick fuck