Ruins - Storytime

>>83687617
But why

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>>83687627
Because i want to.

>>83687658
Has /co/ wronged you in some way

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>>83687726
Maybe

>>83687726
Ugh shut up you whiny piss stain. Nobody gives a fuck if you don't like the comic.

>>83687769
>Ugh

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Just enjoy the storytime guys,it's a fun ride !

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>>83687669
>random soldier picking up Mjolnir

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>>83687912
Kek didn't notice

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My favorite part

The only thing worthwhile in this series was the art. I'm surprised it got published, considering how shit the script is.

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End of part-1

>>83687769
I bet you also like trouble.
Also, OP better return for this year's storytime weekend of pain.

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Start of part-2

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The worst part

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Why the fuck did the art change ?

>>83688630
>>83688649
are we supposed to recognize this little girl?

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>>83688811
no

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Reed was fucking retarded

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Good ol" parker luck

>>83689045
I appreciate your effort posting this OP. But this book was a real fucking piece of shit, disappointed in Ellis.

>>83687617
I will always wonder if having a shit story was the point and if it warranted a book rather than a single issue sized story.

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The End.

>>83689089

Ellis wrote this? fuck dude that disappointing

>>83689089
Yeah Marvels was better

>>83688032
Actually always liked this page, that's exactly how a tabloid would name such article

>>83687617
God, I fucking loved Ruins.
>>83689089
>>83689107
Not enough "comfy feels" or waifus, huh?

>>83689208
Yeah me too it had that nice "realistic marvel universe" feel to it.

>>83689304
I liked it because of that, and the fact that everything just goes so hilariously bad and wrong. It's morbid humor. Plus, I really dig the art.

>>83689126
The ugliest story in the (parallel) Marvel Universe ever told.
The title is apt.
Thanks for sharing OP.

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>>83689208
>Not enough "comfy feels" or waifus, huh?
are you really going to look me in the eye and tell me that Miss Darkholme isn't perfect waifu material?

>>83688377
>demure
>moe as fuck
>two mouths, one designed just for dick sucking
oh baby.

also am i the only one who gets a Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark vibe from the art?

>>83688706
From the wiki:
"Ruins is a two-issue comic book mini-series, written by Warren Ellis with painted artwork by Terese Nielsen, her husband Cliff Nielsen, and Chris Moeller, who took over for the last seventeen pages of the second issue."

So there.

>>83689131
If I remember right, he also apologized for it.

How would DC's Ruins look like?

>>83689533
Don't see why, shit was funny and great.

>>83689715
A rich couple gets shot in an alley, and the next week the earth is destroyed by a spaceship from a dead planet flying at relativistic speed.

>>83689152
>>83689131
>>83689089
>>83688113
I am always amazed at some people's inability to get the fucking joke.

>>83688295
Is there a set date for the Weekend of Pain? I always seem to miss it.

We should really add Crossed: Shrink and Anti-Crossed to the weeked of pain lineup.

>>83689758
or super-man looks a like a weird face-looking alien and Bruce gets shot during one of his patrol as bat-man

>>83689777
I dont get it? Like whats the point of the comic. Literally nothing happens.
Its just "what if mutations were real durr"

>>83689777
....It's /co/ dude, why the fuck would they. If something is depressing or morbid or wee bit violent in any way shape or form, it's considered edgy tryhard shit. But if it has inflation and a loli, it's considered the best thing ever.

>>83688032
this just kinda ruins it for me, why try to make a "realistic" marvel if this the fiction is still there

>>83689833
Just stick to webcomics and your ms. marvel shit.

>>83690027
Aw come on, low blow - Ms. Marvel is funny stuff.

>>83689777
I get it.

But it's not funny or interesting.

>>83689777

It's not a particulary clever or funny joke.

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>>83689833
>>83690142
you guys need to read Marvels because the joke is we go from one of the most idealistic comics ever written to AND I TRIED SO HARD BUT IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

>>83690261
I don't care, ruins is edgy for no reason and too violent.

>>83690261
Yeah Marvels was idealistic. It has moments but to call it idealistic when you have racism, death of Gwen Stacy and several other things seems like the author did not read it and this more seem like just a weird deconstruction with no point.

>>83690261
I've read both, and it doesn't change the fact that Ruins is just utter garbage. It's so incoherent and messy, it seems like Ellis just tried to shove as much grimdark shit in it without caring. The story has some good ideas, but everything vaguely interesting is ignored so that we can get more pages of Marvel characters dying for no reason.

What is the fixation with cancer in that comic? The Kree have cancer, Hulk is living cancer, Hellstorm has cancer, everyone has cancer

>>83690499
Cancer is depressing. Everything in the comic is supposed to be as depressing as humanely possible to the point of absurdity.

>>83690499
Half the Marvel Universe is around because of radiation. Atom power was the 'nanomachines' of the sixties.

>>83690358
idealistic was probably the wrong word. hopeful? upbeat?
>>83690469
i'm not denying it's garbage but i am saying it's hilarious garbage when read alongside Marvels
>>83690499
this just made me realize something: where's all the rape? you'd think if Ellis was actively trying to be edgy as fuck, there'd be a lot more rape

>>83689833
>Like whats the point of the comic. Literally nothing happens.

Misery-tourism. It's just an intentional feelbad comic. No plot, no point, nothing but misery.

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>>83687617
You asked for it OP...

>>83690767
Which is why it triggers us so badly. Where's the feels? Wheres the comfywumfyness? Wheres the waifus?

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>>83689715
>>83689758
Just read this

>>83690800

And the story? It would be nice to have a story.

>>83690803
doesn't that have two Fantastic Four knockoffs?

>>83690800
Are you seriously trying to defend that? It wasn't just bad, nothing on it made any fucking sense and pacing was non-existent. The whole thing was "ok so superheroes exist but instead of superpowers they got cancer and debilitating illness :DDD also they're all really ugly :DDDD". I read the whole thing and it's wasted time, even as a deconstruction is incredibly shallow. Nothing's coherent, it's just the guy jumping from superpowered guy to superpowered guy so Ellis can show them dying gruesomely and little else. It's similar to why people hate Crossed.

>>83691001
>It's similar to why people hate Crossed.
Because it's too graphic and triggers our delicate sensibilities. Also, no waifus or comfy shipping feels.

>>83691026
Also it's shit. Don't forget that.

>>83691026
No, people hate Crossed because it has nothing of substance beyond HORSECOCK and dolphin rape. It's pointless, empty gorewank that doesn't tell any story worth telling and is disgusting and dark for the sake of it

>>83691036
It's only shit because you think it's too depressing. It's fine to think that, but I liked it because of that.

>>83691066
>and is disgusting
And there it is. I respect your opinion, and you're totally free to like anything whatever you like, I like absurd shit. It's why I also like Clarissa.

>>83691084
>>83691120
How can one man have taste this shit

>>83690899
Not that issue in particular, not sure about the rest, it's been a while since I last read them

>>83691162
This is why I was trying to be nice about it, because I knew someone would get triggered that someone could possibly like something the hivemind of /co/ doesn't.

>>83691162
Learn some english before trying to stir up shit.

>>83691084
>It's only shit because you think it's too depressing.

No, it's shit because it's a not a story. It has no plot. Nothing happens in it. You're completely glossing over the one thing that determines the quality of a comic the most: does it work as a story or not?

>>83691213
I most likely have a better grasp on English than you do.

>>83691332
It's a tour through a really miserable universe and how everything just goes completely and totally wrong. That is the story.

>>83691332

Like, Watchmen is depressing as shit but everybody loves it because it's perfect as a story. It has a beginning and an ending and all the things between fit together to form a complete story. Ruins has no story, it's a fucking joke.

>>83691341
Sure ya do, cupcake.

>>83691353
Watchmen is fucking garbage compared to this masterpiece.

>>83691353
>That is the story.

I'm sorry, but that's not a story. It doesn't qualify as one. You need to have an actual plot and characters and things happening to be a story.

>>83691385
I like Ruins, but you're just trolling and probably pretending to be me. It's not a masterpiece, but it's fine for what it is.

>>83691371
That you're stupid enough to not be able to tell when someone is joking, or at least work with that assumption so that you can cheap shots at grammar rather than making any real counter-argument, does not mean my English is bad. It just means, again, that you're stupid.

>>83691437
Stay triggered.

>>83691460
I didn't realize we had a master of debate in this thread. I stand corrected.

>>83688065
I got the feeling that I'm missing half the references. It's detrimental to my enjoyment of the story.

Thanks OP. It's a good read, and the art is really nice.

>>83691506
What debate? All you said was "lol you have shit taste" in a horrible nonenglish speaking way. Or you just have water on the brain. I told you to learn some english before you start flinging shit. Then you went on a rant about how I'm stupid because you can't type properly.

>>83688567
>>83688546
>>83688600
HOLY FUCKING SHIT

>>83690358
This. It's pretty much the equivalent of someone reading a happy story and being so mad it exists he writes the most pointlessly bad/upsetting story he can think of just to be a dick.

>>83691571
That's honestly what I like about it. It's miserable and horrible to the point of absurdity. It's fine if thats what you hate and you don't think its funny, but I find humor in that. Plus, the art is cool. I liked seeing what went horribly wrong with people I recognized.

>>83690261
I've read it, and it was a really great book. See, part of the reason this book is kind of mediocre is that it king of seems like it can't decide whether it actually wants to be a "What if it all went wrong?" story, or a joke "edgy" version, like Donald Blake being some nutter who worships Thor, and Blaze being a guy who pours lighter fluid on his head. Why was Sheldon even there? There wasn't even anything supernatural or super-science going on there, it was just more edge.

>>83687769

>no fun allowed

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Niggas, the storytime has been done two hours ago and nobody still posted DC Ruins?
You fuckin' disappoint me...

>>83691549
I'm sure your superior mind can't parse my typing and horrible nonenglish speech, as someone with your unequaled mastery of the language would say.

The "how can one man" phrase is a meme, and you should get thicker skin if getting told you have shit taste on 4chan makes you that angry. But I guess I'll stay triggered as the cupcake I am.

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>>83691635
Here we go

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>>83691694
All of you can thank me later

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>>83691714

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>>83691725

>>83687617
Is this what happens when Marvel tries to be realist edgy?

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>>83691752

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>>83691771

>>83691526
>It's a good read
After finishing it, I change my previous statement to: "It's a good read that went nowhere".

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>>83691789
Stupid captcha, you can't stop me

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>>83691812

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>>83691836
The art in this one will never cease to amaze me

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>>83691856
The end.
Hope you liked this little masterpiece

>>83688344

I wish I could have this as a poster without the words on it.

>>83691604
I guess that's fair enough, though your reasons for liking it are pretty much the reasons I hate it.

>>83688794

>Bucky Barnes, center, just spewed sexual obscenities until sedated

kek

>>83692046
I realize that, and that's totally fair.

>>83687826
Thanks OP
I was just going to storytime this

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>>83688995

Jesus CHRIST.

>>83689089
Can we just admit that Garth Ennis and Warren Ellis are and have always been hacks and the only reason we liked them was because their politics matched our Bush Era edgy views?

>>83692161
We can all admit that you're a stupid fucking faggot.

>>83691879

I did. I really did.

>>83692175

and then there's this asshole

Now I'm in the mood to read Marvels. Anyone wanna storytime it?

>>83688911
Was?

>>83692282
I think it's because reed is dead

>>83692345
I meant that Reed IS a retarded

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>>83691752
>obituaries
>literally
>everyone
>Everyone's dead. They're all dead.

>>83690803
So, does anyone want to storytime that one for us?

>>83690803
>>83692573
Is that the issue that shows how shit just went wrong for a superman, wonder woman, and rest of the main 5 or 6 justice leaguers? I liked that issue. It was depressing.

>>83692633
>for a superman, wonder woman, and rest of the main 5 or 6 justice leaguers
Meant to add "pastiche" to the end of that.

>>83692247

Seconded. I would but I don't have it.

>>83688995
Why did he call Aunt May poisonous?

>>83692715
Because everyone is awful in this universe.

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>>83692715
because she's trouble

>>83687769
Nobody ought to like this comic, it's fucking awful.

I hope you did Marvels before this.

I actually kind of like it, the re-imaginations are cool in a very macabre and slightly try hard way but most of them are at least interesting. The Kree are particular interesting but that might be because their story is kind of similar to the Falmer in the Elder Scrolls games.

>>83689126
Well that ended quick? I thought it was pretty cool until it got to the ending.

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>>83692345

>>83687617

Just. What the fuck happened in this universe?

Gentry?

>>83697999

It's supposed to be the opposite of the Marvels universe (where everything that resulted in super-powers was Marvelous), hence the name Ruins, it's the universe where everything that resulted in super-powers left people in ruin.

>>83697999
Everything that could've gone wrong, did.

>Ben grimm didn't pilot the ship, so the fantastic 4 got hyper-irradiated and overmutated and fucking died
>Bruce, getting caught in the blast, his mutation didn't take well, and he just became a big blob of cancer rather than the hulk
>Rather than teach mutants how to control their powers, Xavier became president and made sure mutants were kept under lock and key
>Because of this, the avengers (Tony, Cap, Pymm, etc.) start a revolution and die
>fury offs himself after Cap dies
>Punisher gets shot like a punk
>Magneto's never taught to control his powers, builds himself something to control it, it gets broken and he dies
>Silver surfer, with no fantastic four to bring him to his senses, goes mad before prepping the earth for consumption by galactus, and kills himself
>Galactus starves
>Peter parker gets bit by a radioactive spider, and became a nerve zombie, scratching the writer who eventually dies of it

>>83687617
Bump

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Anyone have the Conspiracy Marvel comic where it was revealed the all the smart heroes (tony, reed, pym, mccoy, egghead, banner, doom, etc.) all went to the same college at the same time? And that most of the radiation accident heroes were intentional "mistakes", they drove toxic waste around neighborhoods and had radiation experiments in high schools hoping something would happen, both banner's bomb (to have more rads than boom) and reed's rocket (not just a lack of shielding but actually enhanced the effects of cosmic rays)were tampered with.

>>83687970
>>83687987
>>83688018
What the fuck

>it's a "writer who hates capeshit writes a story that shits on capeshit" book

>>83689777

More like someone doesn't like what you find funny and you get pissed that such people exist.

It's like humor isn't subjective.

>>83701267
It was storytimed last June 2, check desustorage.

Why would you story time this. This is fucking shit even if it's a parody of Marvels Project.

>>83691879
NOW this is a parody. Thanks this actually got me a chuckle.

>>83687826
how did we get missiles that travel at 4,778,000 mph or so?

What's really interesting is recognizing some of Ellis' ideas get more detailed and better executed in Planetary.
Ruins might have been better with some slower pacing and more pages. As it is it's gut punch after gut punch, just a series of scenes and ideas that quickly lose all emotional impact

>>83712475
TEAM WORK

>>83688911
>Ben is so based even Ellis can't pull the trigger on him and give him maximum BAD END.

>>83689304
>realistic

>>83689777
I get the joke but it is not particularly told well.

>>83714476
Realistic means cynical.

>>83689126
Wow, that whole thing sucked. It felt like a nervous stand-up at open mic night rushing through his routine to get off stage as fast as possible. Truly a story time of pain.

Thank you, OP. I've wanted to read Ruins for ages but only now did. It is exactly as horrible as Wizard Magazine told me it was.

>>83699057
It's fucking horrifying

>>83714998
yeah

Wrapping childish concepts in purple prose was a mistake.

As this comic shows.

>Anthony Stark
>wrapped in steel
>political commentary on Vietnam War

cringing all the way

Shame about nice art being wasted.

>>83687846
This fucking cuntboy. Try and invade Earth and act all aggrieved when they get punished for it? Cuntboy!

>>83689777
>Bitch baby cries about people not having the same sense of humor as him, news at 11

>>83692161
Not at all.

Transmetropolitan and Planetary were really fucking good comics. I also really dug Ellis' run on The Authority. Can't really speak for Garth Ennis, though.

>>83692161
Nah, Ennis is really good on occasion. Ellis is at best mediocre and most of the time try hard edgy.

>>83714193
more like President X telling everyone what to do

>>83718659
yeah

>>83687617
> What if... Marvel had stuck to horror comics instead of superheroes?

Has some nice quotes and the end is as depressing as fitting. I've got to admit: I kinda like it. Thanks OP.

>>83687846
Captain Marvel dies of cancer, even in 616...

>>83720112
>Morbius
>Man-Thing
>Werewolf by Night
>Ghost Rider
>Terror
It'd be neat, desu.

>>83716078
>>83716309
>>83716686
>>83717334
>>83717512
storytime is over man, you don't have to keep bumping this

>>83720177
I doubt it. Instead of superhero serials you'd have some anecdotal one-off horror stories (like the ones Sheldon witnesses in the books) and the same would have happened to all the others. Maybe you would have Man-Thing and Ghost Rider, but there'd be one chapter of them and than they would have been forgotten, like most horror stories.

>>83720309
We won't know for sure, will we? Comics Code ruined everything.

>>83691353
Honestly, completely different book and all, but that's kind of how I felt about American Gods.

It was a great travelogue, with tons of interesting vignettes and pretty interesting worldbuilding, but the story is literally "protagonist goes from one weird place to the next and the story just works itself out in the end."

>>83687864
now i don't know shit about X-Men but isn't Cyclops the one obsessed with "The Dream"? wouldn't he be the better guard for President X?

>>83688127
Oh my word.

>>83687769
Reminder that Ellis has disowned this comic and said its awful and he regrets writing it.

You know it's shit when even the writer thinks it's shit.

>>83689304
>>83689984
>realistic

uwot

it's just apocalyptic porn.

>>83690261
But that's the thing, Marvela isn't idealistic. This is supposed to be the antithesis of Marvels but the story of Marvels is "idealistic photojournalist loves superheroes and tries to not fall to pessimism, ignorance and hatred like the rest of the marvel citizens, but in the end fails and becomes just like them after coming to terms with the fact that even heroes fail. A couple years later, he dies of cancer while superheroes have been twisted into edgy vigilantes that are practically unrecognizable to him. The end."

>>83688724
Jesus God.

I genuinely like "oh god everything went so horribly wrong" universes, it's fun to see how it all got fucked up and the results of it all being fucked up.

>>83720450
Before he got on Dream drug, he was menace.

>>83692161
No? Ellis is one of my all time favorite writers and even I know this is garbage. It's just an outlier in quality for him. Something he shat out for a quick buck then later disowned it after the fact.

>>83714998
N-no shut up its a masterpiece and the only reason you didn't like it is because it isn't "comfy" enough for you. Don't you know that as long as something is edgy that means it must be good?

>>83691794
This. It would have been a least some what satisfying if he got to complete the damn book. FFS.

>>83721162
Sauce? Also, bumping

>>83688649
He just gave her spider-cancer

I never get why people get in such a twist over this mini, it reads like a "good in a shit way" pulp novel.

Thanks OP.