God fucking dammit, Kelly.

>>83538174
One of his weaker ones

>>83538174
At least he hangs his toilet paper the right way.

>>83538174
Wait, she's Trump's 3rd wife?

>>83538582
kill yourself, terrorist.

>>83538174
>jacking on the toilet
Does anyone actually do this?
I'd rather just sit on a normal chair that I can lean back in.

>>83538634
that is how people with families masturbated before the internet. On the toilet with a celebrites magazines (be it pictures of some celebrities, or of the models in the ads) Kelly is an old guy.

>>83538634
Literally every time. You can just blow your load straight into the toilet bowl with minimal cleanup required. Who wants to deal with the mess otherwise?

>>83538966
I'd rather do it comfortably than not have to deal with cleanup. It's not like you'll fucking explode all over your desk and face.

>>83538634
I take it you got a lot of privacy growing up and don't have a family now? People have been jerkin off on the toilet and in the shower since forever.

>>83539003
>fucking explode all over your desk and face.
Been there, done that.

>>83539049
it's not like I haven't tried to jack on the toilet/in the shower, it's just an inferior experience to siting up in my bed or my desk.
Unless you share bedrooms, you have enough privacy to do this

>>83539003
>it's not like you'll fucking explode all over your desk and face
I'll stop short of comparing distances, but face no, desk yes. I'd have to hold some tissue over the top to stop that happening. And that's just another bother. I don't want my thoughts to be preoccupied with not getting jizz all over my keyboard.

>>83539207

>he doesn't move his keyboard parallel to his chair for a fap session

What are you, a caveman? Unga Bunga me no move clackboard, fear of angering Great Web Spirits!

>>83538174
>MAKE AMERICA BAIT AGAIN!

Man, I guess I'm kinda lucky not to have any vas deferens since when I cum, I only spurt a couple times and the most that happens is my thigh gets a little wet -- even then, my thigh hair soaks most of it up, so there's never any jizz on my desk or chair or anything.

For once, being a genetic loser worked out!

>>83539297
> even then, my thigh hair soaks most of it up, so there's never any jizz on my desk or chair or anything.

Please tell me you at least clean up your leg or take a shower

>>83539297
>hair
>soaks up cum
That is some strange genetics all right.

>>83539297

Are you an Arboreal Xindi, a Yeti, or just Greek?

Time for rule 34 of Melania I guess.

File: 1444706248857.png (309KB, 414x499px) Image search: [Google]

309KB, 414x499px

>>83539249
> Unga Bunga me no move clackboard, fear of angering Great Web Spirits!
Kek

>>83539314
Eh, wipe it down with a tissue. I've got not sperm or substance to my ejaculate, just warm milky water. And I only jerk off like once every 2 weeks or so... and the most that I put out is like a teaspoon.

>>83539357
Jewtalian

>>83539456

As an Italian, I empathize with your struggle, but get some paper towels or take a fucking shower afterwards.

>>83539207
My shots would tear through tissues. Kegles are a double edged sword. I usually set a towl over my desk and cum on it. Even then, I still sometimes overshoot onto the floor.

>>83539297

i laugh at your insignificant volume

ever since i was 13 i've developed the muscle control to cum like a hentai character and now i can't stop

>>83538174
>Make America 'Bate Again

This is a top ten Kelly zinger.

>>83539527
>My shots would tear through tissues
>Anon of unstoppable cumshots!
>His facials are like a sharp left hook!
I'm talking screwed up tissues in my other hand, not a single tissue draped loosely over my dick like a shroud. If your cumshots can tear through the former we need video evidence.

>>83539470
Tissues are good enough. I'm not going through the effort of taking a whole shower just because I got some squirts of dick juice on a small part of my thigh that's not even exposed unless I'm naked.

>>83539547
How and why?

>>83538588
Got married real young, divorced.

Second wife was almost immediately after, divorced.

Third wife was his long time mistress since right after marriage #1. I think marriage 1 & 2 were business arrangements. However he got a smoking hot daughter out one of them.

His 3rd wife was/is a model. Then she got into owning modeling agencies. She was rich and good looking. Which Hilary is envious of. Hilary can't even keep her man. He's horndogging every young intern he can get. Meanwhile their ugly daughter is head of their international scamarity.

>>83538588
The other two where getting too old for him.

>>83539796
>devorced quickly twice /affair / crib snatcher
>Affair/ Still stuck together

They're both shit.