Batman Rebirth #1 Storytime

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>>83367739

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>>83367810

>>83367739
>King
:D
>Snyder
:ᗡ

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>>83367832
I got a confession, I posted the preview of this on /co/ at least 4 times now and glad I can finally go past these pages

>>83367833
Ssshhhh let's just ignore the other guy and be happy about the king.

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>>83367832

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>>83367857

>>83367832
>>83367857
Thanks /co/ I can't take Gordon seriously anymore, every panel with him just reminds me of rape.

>>83367879
Holy fucking shit.

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>>83367879
Ignore the file numbers, it's correct

>>83367879
That seems unnecessarily dangerous.

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>>83367897

>poser art
why.jpg

>>83367888
Same, I'm just ready for him to bust out a "Well Batman, it's time to rape the Joker" in any panel

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>>83367915

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>>83367962

>>83367947
>expecting good art from Rebirth
I'm not expecting much from the "art by committee" approach they're taking

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>>83367977

>>83367858
but snyder is better than king

>>83367897
How did Bruce lose his fourtune again?

I forgot they made Robin black. Neat.

Also, thanks OP for storytiming this.

>>83367994
>"art by committee"
What is that supposed to mean?

>>83368002
BUMBLEBEE

>>83367930
>making calander man a meta
it's already shit gg king

>>83368002
Oook... well, good thing is that it isn't another Robin.

But seriously, the batfamily has too many members.

>>83368002
but that damian shitposter said he was robin

>>83368005
Batman Eternal

>>83368040
Just because its different? You didn't even give a try and read the entire issue.

>>83368002
Lark Begins (it's another bird)

>>83368077
I know that king's whole work is
>DUDE IRAQ LMAO and I have only liked Vision by him

>>83367994
>this meme

That's not how they're doing things. They're also not switching off every issue, which is another misconception (only Wonder Woman is doing that).

The Rebirth biweeklies have scripts finished and given to artists about 4 months in advance of the print date. From there, it seems the artists work on an arc-based schedule, where they get about 3 issues in a batch, months before they're due, and then finish them.

At this point, for example, I think King is finishing up Batman #9-10 right now.

>>83368106
Oh, fuck me, this is as bad as the Mr. Freeze retcon.

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>>83368106

>>83367930
>>83368106

Hmmm, unless I'am missing something, that's a nice twist on the Calendar Man Character.

Thanks for sharing.

>>83368133
king doesn't care about the characters he writes, he just adds new shit and /co/ acts like it's the greatest thing they ever seen

>>83368133
I'm a normie who knows nothing about calendar man and this seems awesome to me. What am I missing/what did they "ruin"?

>>83368133
>pretending you or anyone gave a shit about Calendar Man before this
Don't be that guy

>>83367915
This is fucking great already. My dick is so hard.

Finally I can read the main Batman ongoing again with Snyder gone.

>>83367857
>He has a mouth guard that would both protect his most vulnerable area and also instill more fear

WHY IS HE NOT USING THAT ALL THE TIME?

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End. Real test will be in a week or so when we get King's first solo issue.

why is alfred wasting avacados

>>83368002
what the fuck is that shit

>>83368133
What was so greta about original Calendar Man that is causing this early
>not muh

What was his compelling back story and habilities?

>>83368040
This is just a 1 shot
This isn't even issue 1

>>83367911
You're talking about a man who dresses up as a bat and fights criminals.

>>83368187
Long Halloween and Dark Victory, sonny. Read them.

>>83367739
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS!?!?!?

The Win-O' doesn't even exist yet!

>>83368211
> Finch
PASS

> JRJR and Shalvey
Guess I'm on the Snyder train

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>>83368211

>Finch

>>83368256
apple books posts comics at midnight, I noticed when rebirth came out

>>83368217
He is feeding the bats.

>>83368002
I can dig it

well, that was boring

here's hoping the superman book is good

>>83367915
>Bruce/Thomas parallels

Love it

>>83368106
What just happened?

>>83368241
I've read them. He's not why those comics are good (or mediocre for Dark Victory). Seriously, no one has ever brought up Calendar Man in any thread ever for the past decade before this story. If you want to shitpost about something, there's surely a /sug/ up.

Haven't even read this. What shit did they changed/retcon? Put it in spoilers if necessary.

>>83368294
A man climbed out of a man, and the man who climbed out is the same man, albeit slightly different, than the man who was climbed out of.

>>83368308
>no one has ever brought up Calendar Man in any thread ever for the past decade before this story
literally no one

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>>83368002
Lark incoming

>>83367867
>137 degrees
are they just inept?
that is literally hotter than it has ever been in recorded history.
>Tradition
so gotham hits that temp every year?

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>>83368281
>filename
...to me.

CMX BTFO

>>83368315
nothing. Batman usually doesn't get changed because it's always the the line that sells well at DC.

>>83368315
Calendar Man has a superpower now

>>83368333
Kill Harper please.

>>83368336
He was exaggerating.

>>83368117

Yeah, Marvel said the same thing...until eventually time catched up and they ended up with a ton of filler artists, rushed art and zero art development.

Look at the first issues of Capullo's run and then compare them to the last few ones as he found out what worked, what didn't work and he made the characters his, You don't get that kind of development on bi-monthlies.

What the fuck is this shit? And fuck Duke.

Not bad. An interesting twist on Calendar Man.

>>83368338
yeah anyway, rest of the comics will get on comixology in like 2 hours and I need sleep so PEACE

>>83368086
>Never tell me the odss

>>83368179
>>83368145
>>83368106
>>83368086
>>83368072
>>83368046
Honestly, this was real fucking stupid

>>83368336
>that is literally hotter than it has ever been in recorded history.

You're right, apparently the highest recorded temperature was in 1912 at Death Valley at 134

>>83368106
wut.

>tfw didn't fall for the "King is a good writer!" meme
Feels good.

>>83368179
Alfred Pennyworth, waster of avocados

>>83367867
This would be pretty funny without the speech bubbles.

>>83368453
It really does

>>83368381
I actually liked Capullo's art at the beginning of his run more than at the end.

>>83368336
>>83368425
fucking lol

>>83367930
So, he reacts to temperature? Like those tulip bulbs that need cold winter to grow in spring? Temperature Man? Thermometer Man?

>>83367739
And so begins /co/'s turn against King.

*takes a deep sniff*

Ahhhhh yes, the smell of butthurt. It is delicious!

>>83368453
>>83368467
Reminder that Snyder co-wrote this.

But somehow, I think you'll still blame King for not telling DC's golden child that his writing isn't too good.

>>83368145
META
E
T
A

>>83368453
or the " No Janin's art is great" meme

Those Superman issues were fucking awful

>>83367867
>>83367879
>>83367897
>>83367915

>Going from this to FUCKING FINCH

It's like DC doesn't want my money...

>>83368336
Considering how many times people have fucked with Gotham and the Earth over the course of 7 years a little climate change isn't too far out there

>>83368258
>>83368261

Finch will be alternating with Janin (who did this issue) since its double shipping.

Shalvey is only doing back-ups in All-Star, JRJr is doing the first main story. I think they said Jock, Tula Lotay, and Sean Murphy would do future All-Star stories.

>>83368375
well it's not much of an exaggeration then.
He should have gone with a round number well above the record.

>>83368145
>>83368179
Nothing like kicking a tree to train for... an invasion of root-looking mutherfuckers (??), I guess...

>>83368211
>>83368217
>>83368283
>an army of bats
>"you get one avocado"

>>83368333
My memory is terrible, what is this from again?

>>83368106
So people will start having King JUST because of Calendar Man?

>>83368533
>Janin
PASS

>>83368499
>i-it's all Snyder's fault!!!!!
Reminder that excuse is only going to work once, kid.

>>83368541
Do you mean Groot?

I thought it was a pretty good one-shot even if I'm kinda groaning at the thought of years of Duke ahead. Not like an amazing issue, but fun enough.

>>83368562
No, /co/ will start saying he was always shit because he's popular now.

>>83368508
His Grayson material (especially on King-written scripts) is great, though. See >>83221363

or, if you want to be lazy:
Read Grayson Futures End, #3, #5, #8, #9, #11, #12, #15, and #16.

>>83368145
>Hatching
>Another bird sidekick begins
I SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING THERE.

>>83368562
You don't understand, HE COMPLETELY RUINED MY LYF WHEN HE SLIGHTLY ALTERED CALNDERMAN!! I'M LITERALY CRYNG RIGHT NOW!

>>83368576
I really liked it too, but is the Calendar Man plotline just gonna be dropped? It seems to end on a cliffhanger.

Oh my god, I was going to buy this. I was really looking forward to it. But everything about it is terrible, from inexplicably superpowered Calendar Man to more pushing Duke Whoeverthefuck into the overcrowded Bat-Family to the Poseriffic art to Bruce Wayne randomly risking his life to do pull-ups to the temperature being hotter than it's ever been in recorded history to having Calendar Man as the villain but never exploring his actual actions or motivations to referencing Year One with the pose kicking the tree in an intensely inferior way to dwelling feeding the bats under the manor for god knows what reason for two pages...

Calendar Man's greatest claim to fame was literally being one of Batman's most dangerous non-powered foes, and King just threw all of that away. How can people be fine with this? Are you all pleb casuals?

This was pretty mediocre desu. I didn't really like it.

So turn on King begins now?

>>83368617
I stealing this.

>>83368631
I don't think it's a cliffhanger given the theme of how things are cyclical etc. I wouldn't be surprised if he shows up in the next arc with Gotham and Gotham Girl making their debut rounding him up or something, but I also wouldn't be surprised if we don't hear from him again for a while.

>>83368634
You must be fun at parties

This wasn't good so I'm going to blame it on Snyder. The real test is the ACTUAL #1.

>>83368333
What book was this again? I remember reading it

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>>83368634

>>83368649
king doesn't care about previous characterizations he just does what ever and everyone says 10/10 capekino at its finest

>>83367739
Thanks anon you just saved me 3.99 plus tip

This issue made no sense and felt rushed
Very short too

>>83368649
Remember when the Rouges all got powers? That was really dumb

when did alfred get his hand back?

>>83367977
They should just make Duke Robin since Damian isn't going to be in this run.

>>83368649
No, Calendar's main claim to fame was literally just showing up as a side character n TLH and DV, neither of which necessitated him being non-powered. People claiming otherwise are shitposting.

>>83368649
Out of Batman's ridiculously huge rogues gallery about halfway full of non-metas and you want to argue fucking Calendar Man is the most dangerous? This has to be bait.

>>83367739

It started.
>>83368684

>>83368683
I'm not gonna pretend I'm ever fun, but I'm also not gonna pretend this comic made a good impression on me.

>>83368649
Thats not a claim to fame, thats like saying "I was one of the highest scoring people on the test", when there was 20 people in the class and you came 6th

>>83368721
end of snyder's batman. crazy kite sewed a new one on him

>>83367879
Considering the heat those bars must be scalding his fucking hands.

>>83367739
What was the point to this?

I thought this was supposed to "rebirth" the series

>>83367867
ürg würg-

>>83368649
Name a good Calendar man story/issue/arc/significant appearance.
Because I want to read it, never read Calendar Man story before.

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>>83368187
This x1billion

>>83368559
>>83368694
Filename

>mfw people are hating on King even though Snyder literally has the top writing credit on the issue
>mfw Snyder literally has done bullshit like this before on his old run but people are saying it's all King's fault

Ah, whatever. I can avoid Batman threads on /co/ and enjoy the eventual Batman #1 in peace.

>>83368798
Apparently they don't teach you how heat works in the CIA.

>>83368002
hahahahaha Power Ranger .

This was just sort of boring.

Negro Robin is cancer fuck him-

>>83368732
I was hoping King's Batman will be more of a detective solving human crimes. Instead up against some villains superpower gimmick. Now I'm worried.

>>83368801
The Rebirth one-shots are just to let you know what the status quo is going to be like. i.e. Green Lanterns gives some brief characterization for Simon and Jessica, Green Arrow shows him and Dinah getting together, this shows Duke as Lark, Superman will show him being a dad I assume, etc.

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>people getting pissy that a writer made calender man any different than lolmurdercalanderdays


IT'S GOD FUCKING DAMAGE CALENDER MAN. SHUT THE FUCK RIGHT UP.

goddamn I swear, take your participation trophy and fuck right off


Triggered as shit right now

>>83368851
King came up with this idea retard. He has said in interviews I had this new take on calendar man and I wanted to write it with Snyder.

>>83368672
Yep.

>>83368333
Kill Lark please.. 100 reasons why i hate batman ·

>>83367810
Why does the phone ring and he answers the door?
Who is the nigglet and what is the offer?

>>83367857
This whole page has me like what?

>>83367867
>>83367879
>>83367897
>>83367915
The point of this?

>>83368031
How did he know where it was? And how much time was needed?

>>83368086
Can Batman fly now?

>>83368106
What the fuck?

>>83368145
Hitting trees, for what purpose?>>83368211
That cliffhanger
Shit

>>83368933
I don't care that it's different. It's just lame. So he shrivels up and then climbs out of himself, so what? What does that add to the character? What stories can you tell that are made better by that?

>>83368901
So Batman's new statue quo is:Rich again, Duke, Alfred, villains with superpower, no mention on he rest of the family?

It was OK by me, nothing out of this world but its real short so it's hard to say much about the upcoming run.
I remain hopefull

>>83368187

His monologues in Arkham City were cool.

>>83368497
>t King.
take your mouth from Kings cock..

>>83368729
They should just Kill Duke :D

>>83367915
Fuck, this is such a good page.

I was worried that Tom King would stumble but simple stuff like this is the exact same reason I love him on Vision and Omega Men and his GL one-shot.

>>83368077
Bitch you know were you are? Look at the preview of Civil War II

>>83368982
>no mention on he rest of the family?
That will be covered in each of the family's individual books.

Is /co/ going to be autistic or act like Snyder DIDNT write the majority of this issue? It reads just like him except for how Janin was told to panel.

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>>83368982
Bruce doesn't give a fuck about his family.

>>83368953
Ah, that explains all the posts like this. /co/ just has zero reading comprehension.

>>83368982
This.My friend was asking me why i hate Batman so much, and after thinking hard about it, i realized i can't look past this.Shit Dad Bruce is cancer-

>>83368965
It adds a thematic synergy with the whole rebirth movement of DC at the moment. There are also plenty of stories you could come up with that play with the idea of a cyclical nature/being reborn.

>still no Win-O'

>>83369079
Go on

>>83369092
Yes, cyclical nature, being reborn, metaphorically. How are the stories or even that metaphor helped by this guy shedding his skin for no explained reason?

>>83369078
is there a story arch that actually addresses this?

>>83368145
Isn't that Grundy's schtick?

And Doomsday's?

So what's the verdict? Batman off to a decent (re)start?

>>83369078
>and I got all my friends to my party

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>>83368205

>>83369117
>I have no imagination and also think comic books shouldn't be comic book-y
opinion discarded

>>83368953
Dude do you need everything spelt out for you or something.

>>83369117
They said that he always comes different.

Done, you ave now plenty of room for the character.

>>83369128

Yeah. We will never know how much was Snyder and how much was King though so I'm reserving judgement until next week

>>83369160
Bad parts were obviously Snyder.

>>83369147
Yes

Unless you don't know either and are just trying to sound like hotshit over the internet

>>83368982
the hell? Why does King Penis of Fuck Mountain want a serious Cunt Batman?

>>83369160
I think Batman #1 was pushed back to the 15th so the week after next.

>>83369052
It's King's story he wanted to write with Snyder. Will you stop being an autist fag 1week later when issue 1 cones out?

>>83369117
This>>83369159
A villain who gets better each time has more potential than a villain with a holiday obsession.

>>83368649
List 5 good Calendar Man stories

>>83369160
Batman #1 doesn't come out till the 15th anon :-(

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>>83369128
Yes. I liked it.

I'm just shitposting to see if I manage to make /co/ hate King just because of something stupid and meanless.

King' and Snyder are cancer.

>>83369125
No it's just two panels you Damianfag

>>83369203
>>83369215

Well that's a shame

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>>83369078

Are people seriously still trying to use Johns Batman as an accurate portrayal of the character?

>>83367739
I want to read this right now, but it's on my pull list and waitting for me to pick it up in the morning....damn you for being so based OP...bump and stuff I guess.

>>83368145
just kickin a tree together

captcha: select all trees

I don't get the bat page, unless the way he's going to come back better is to use them to help fight crime. In which case sign me up even more.

>>83369078

I'm pretty sure this is just something symbolic Damian set up for himself like the little queer he is

>>83369272
Don't waste your time
It's short and unrewarding

>>83369264
It is canon.

>>83369194
I mean the answers are literally on the page for you if you'd just take the time and read it.
Like this for example>>83368086
No he can't fly obviously the explosion of the bomb blew him out of the water.
And then some of it is just common sense stuff. He'd call Alfred's phone because he's away from the house and cant hear the door bell. Think a little when you read.

I actually don't like Batman now .

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>>83369078

Can DC just bring back Li'l Gotham for fun batfamily times?

>>83369339

OK

>>83369319
>He'd call Alfred's phone because he's away from the house and cant hear the door bell.
What panel does it show that?

>>83369128
Except for Black Canary entering the batfamily, it's fine so far.

>>83369351
This.

>>83369319
Shut up smartypants. You are not better than anyone.

>>83369339
You've been posting how much you hate Batman in various threads all day, just give it a rest.

>>83369078
This is why most people hate Batman now,

>>83369351
This.

Forgot about action, I like my bat family as only little cute slice of life where everyone is and cute.

>>83369319
How did bats know where the spore machine was?

Why does bats randomly have statics power now?

>>83369128
Yeah kind of a weird for a first issue but the writing wasn't bad.

Why Lark? Why another bird moniker?

>>83369375

Black Canary has been in and out of Gotham for years. Shes kissed Batman how many fucking times?

>>83369392
>all day
You mean for the past few weeks minus the parts where they seem to be banned

I have no interest in King Batman. He's... boring, honestly.

>>83369436
King doesn't seem like he has much personality

>>83369436

Here's your (you)

>>83369319
>No he can't fly obviously the explosion of the bomb blew him out of the water
First of all that's too high

Second of all the helicopter was perfectly positioned just enough to get the random nigglets arm and not smack the side of the helicopteror completely miss it by a mile

>>83369421
Cancer.

"I fucking hate it. "

>>83369407
You and the rest of tumblr, it seems. That's never going to happen though, and it actually isn't that easy to write a good slice of life - it'll be fine for 5 issues, tops, and then it'll just be boring again.

I don't know if I've ever seen this much shitposting in one storytime thread before. Hopefully it dies down after the #1s when the only people who show up are the ones who want to read comics.

>>83369453
Are you seriously arguing that this comic book isn't realistic in it's portrayal of action? For real?

>>83369419
It's not a 1st issue
It's a 1shot

>>83369214
Nice try, kiddo.

>Heart of Calendar
>The Laughing Calendar
>The Calendar Who Killed Batman
>Almost Got 'Im A Calendar
>Calendar Face

>>83369304
It's a first issue, they are usually pretty boring

>>83367897
That's why it was so awkward for me when I realized Batman is actually really bad at what he does.a bad father un mentor.

>>83369487
As of late I remember the days leading up to Black Panther #1, but everyone stopped talking about it after it came out. People will be talking about King being shit for the next two weeks until the real #1 comes out.

I hope it's good, for the sake of the quality of posts on this board.

>>83369529
>>83369510

>>83369482
I was being sarcastic.

People sometimes appear to have this strange vision of the bat family acting quirky on slice of life and everyone being OOC, acting like some animu rejects.

It's retarded.

>>83369529

its not even a first issue.
its a teaser of a first issue.

>>83369498
The worst of the new 52 bat series' was better than this>>83369565

>>83369487
Were you around for the New 52? Same shit. It'll die down for sure, but it'll take a while before the Not Muh and Continuityfag crowd shuffle off back into their corner.

>>83369211
Agreed. Don't act like Calendar Man was a good villain before this; the holiday gimmick is very limited. Him being like the living New Years Baby and constantly dying and being reborn, new and improved, can lead to some possibly interesting stuff.

>>83369510
Kind of weird for a one shot too. They never wrapped up the story with calendar man

>>83369408
Because he is Batman!!!!! God I hope this is because this issue was too short.

>>83369582
One-face

>>83369582
THIS.

>>83369599
Or why he has static shock powers
Or where calender man got these spores
Or who the black guy is

>>83369599
King will more than likely revisit this later. As far as Grayson was concerned, he wasn't one to drop plot threads.

>>83368002
>I dub thee... NOT Robin

>>83369599
This part's fine, that's what the whole issue is about - rebirth means the fight is never over, but they keep going anyways.

My biggest problem is this >>83369602 though, the constant dicksucking on Batman. The whole "that's impossible for a human to do! Fuck you, I'm Batman" is practically old hat at this point, but I still never liked it, and I was a fool for expecting something different with Rebirth.

>>83368179
Alfred that was a perfectly good avocado

>>83367857
Wait, Batman is now a meta human with elétric based powers?

The writters are insane.

>>83369629
>the black guy is
He's Duke he's been circling around the bat books for a while now.

>>83369712
I wouldn't know
I mostly see Batman at night

Godamnit Why are Bat writers autists nowadays? Calendar Man was over the top gimmicky villain that was campy but possessed a threat too. Why does everything have to have some metaphor or pseud philosophy. Literally the last fun Batman writer we had was Morrison. Fuck this.

there are four fucking robins running around and not one of them could be fucked to be batman's sidekick so he enlisted a totally-not-robin, wow

>>83368649
>literally being one of Batman's most dangerous non-powered foes
I mean, if you don't count pretty much his entire rogue's gallery

>>83369701
Do you even read the page you're quoting? Between 'Alfred, max charge' and his ears literally going electric, it's clear that it's his suit doing it. It's still fucking stupid, but regular Batman stupid, not meta.

>>83369514
>not listing The Calendar Page Returns
>being this much of a hipster

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Duke not Robin.

>>83369531
>that punctuation

It's as good as a trip to spot the Damianfag

>>83368106
I'm game, Let's get freaky with the Bat-rogues and make Gotham into a living nightmare.

>>83369514
Which issues are those? Because seems like you just made them up.

>>83369117
it's literally explained right here >>83367930

>>83368106
I don't get why so many people are up in arms about this. It's fucking Calendar Man, it's not like Mr Freeze at all. They didn't fucking change his motivation or origin. More or less they expanded on him.

>>83369779
>and his ears literally going electric
And when in bats history does he get this
Or is it just thrown in there as a middle finger to old and new readers?

I think Duke is the more boring character.

>>83369819
Who is duke
When was he introduced in New 52?
What was the offer?

>>83369847
His suit and car got upgrades all the time, they'll just justify it with preptime or whatever. Seriously, of all the things in this book, that's what bothers you the most?

>>83369847
>Batman pulling a random gadget out of his ass to save the day

That's been Batman's power since day fucking 1.

>>83369872
He is black.

>>83369849
It doesn't help that they explained jack shit about him. Seriously, isn't this whole rebirth one shot to get new readers? Why won't they give a bit more info on one of the newest addition to the casts?

>>83369825
I'm not going to spoonfeed you. If you were a true Batman fan, you could find all of those stories with no problem.

>>83369878
Yes because I want a static shock comic and a Batman comic
If Batman can do what static can then no one has the motivation to finally make another static comic

>>83369837
One thing I don't get though, can he control his whole rebirth process? Is he really going through all that every week?

>>83369888
Since when does electricity destroy spores?

I'm watching Batman 1 right now, and it is almost as boring as horse shit .

>>83369913
They literally explain how it works right here in the issue. Holy shit how can your reading comprehension be this bad?

>>83369764
Damian wants to be Bruce's Robin, but Bruce forgot he exists

>>83369913
apparently

>>83369923
Spores are extremely flammable. If there's a lot of them, a good spark will cause them all to go up in flames. It's the same reason grain silos catch fire often.

>>83369951
Batman is a complete and utter paradox of a Shit character .

>>83369905
So what you're saying is you made those up, got it. And I'm not even one of those shitposter, I legit wanted to read good Calendar Man story, only thing I've read is Ken Wein/Walt Simonson one shot.

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>>83369894
He's a child prodigy who's so smart he figured out who Batman was all on his own!

It's such an original concept and we've never seen it before, ever.

>>83369951
it's crap I fucking hate King.

>>83369319
>He'd call Alfred's phone because he's away from the house and cant hear the door bell.
How did the duke get Alfreds number?

>>83370008
Holy shit we get it., you don't like Batman. How many times are you going to post the same thing in every bat thread? If you hate him so much then stop going in the story time. I think /co/'s weird obsession with shows aimed at 6 year olds is weird as fuck, but my solution is not to go in those threads.

>>83370031
let's be real it was definitely Snyder who wanted him forgotten, and King was probably more than happy to give him to Seeley on Nightwing

>>83370031
Easy there Tiger that was Snyder.

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>>83369825
>>83370022
>all of the titles he listed were famous Batman stories but with one word replaced with 'calendar'
>not getting the joke this hard

>>83370044
Alfreds been funding a Duke and his friends so they could fight crime. That's how they met.

Read some comics maybe?

Fuck it's already June 1st and it's still not on DC app yet.

>>83370103
how does this post even begin to approach coherency

>>83367867
>137 degrees
Really?

>>83370153
It's the Damianposter, just ignore him. He's extremely easy to spot through his astounding illiteracy and random punctuation.

>>83370168
Keep in mind, this is the same dumbass duo that had three supposedly well-trained intelligence operatives walking all day in the desert for hundreds of miles trying to get back to civilization instead of waiting for night.

It's up on the dc app now yay

>>83370204
They had a baby yo. Couldn't waste time.

>>83370199
are we ever going to have an even tangentially-Bat-related storytime without him ever again

>>83370199

And right on cue:
>>83370202

>>83370260
Nope

>>83368179
Can someone Photoshop Bruce saying heil hitler

>>83370204
nighttime in the desert can be a lot more dangerous because of the cold

>>83370289
Shh, anon thinks he knows more about the desert than a guy who literally does nothing but talk about his time in the desert.

>>83370330
yes, and that same guy had Dick and Tony walking through the desert during the day so I don't really know what you're arguing right now

>>83370248
I respect what you're trying to say, but the implication was that they rested at night, and also, it's like how pacing a horse takes it farther than trying to make it gallop nonstop. You don't expend the energy during the day because you'll burn yourself up and die; you grab cover and wait until the sun isn't out trying to murder you.

>>83370289
Yes, it can, but that's my point. You try to keep warm and in motion at night, and hide from the sun during the day.

>>83370330
Yeah, apparently I do, since he just wrote a comic where a man says it's 137 degrees and sunny out and another is pressing his hands onto bare steel that should be hot enough to leave blisters.

How long does Tom King have until everyone hates him?

>>83367739
So /co/, now that we hate King, how would you rate Vision, Grayson, Sheriff of Babylon, and Omega Men?

>>83370340
Holy shit learn to talk

>>83370394
anon there is clearly something screwy going on with the weather and seasons

did you even read the issue?

>>83370410
King is is Scott Snyders lackey.

>>83370425
Look at this thread anon, it's already started. Just a couple more months for the first arc to end, and it'll be 100% hatred.

>>83370427
10/10, 8/10, 11/10, 10/10

>>83370425
I hate him now:)

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>>83370461
this one's new

>>83370461
LOVE YOU:)

>>83370394
>Yeah, apparently I do, since he just wrote a comic where a man says it's 137 degrees and sunny out and another is pressing his hands onto bare steel that should be hot enough to leave blisters.
Batman trained himself not to have blisters.
>>83370427
Tumblr trash.

>>83368179
Buce looks like an idiot.

>>83370436
Yeah, I did, I get that, I'm not saying it can't be as hot as Death Valley in Gotham. I'm saying he cannot then also have a human being slapping his palms onto steel bars for the hell of it while hanging over a thousand feet in the air. Also, the guy is Batman and not in disguise and he's making Lucius Fox sweat it out in this dangerous weather for his own amusement. It's just such an odd mix of stuff that doesn't make sense to me.

>>83370504
At least saying that would have been some kinda explanation for the Batdickery.

>>83370427
Now that I've read this one issue I can safely say that Tom King has always been a terrible writer and all his past series that I once enjoyed are now retroactively shit.

>>83368258
Jr Jr is such shit ...
But shalvey is a favorite.
What to do?

>>83370546
It's just regular ol' dicksucking for Batman, or did you not see how he survives for 6 minutes where other human being would be dead in 4 minutes inside that cold water?

>>83370278
Please

It's for science

>>83370667
I assumed the excuse there could be his insulated suit or some shit so I was willing to give it a pass. I'm really not as much of a nitpicker as you might imagine, but they reached too far in some places.

>>83368145
>The tree is winning
Wut

I can see cracks on it. Kick it enough and the tree will be forced to admit that it wasnt winning in the first place

>>83369514
>>Almost Got 'Im A Calendar
Top kek

>>83370394
Anon, you obviously don't know more about this than the guy who lived it, maybe you should reread the story, it seems you didn't pay attention the first time through

>>83371111
What did I say about the comic that wasn't accurate?

>>83367977
>the tumbler

>>83368179
Am I missing some point with Alfred looking sad at the avocado?

>>83369514
>TAS Shit
Heh nice try pleb. Here's a true Patrician's List
>The Killing Calendar
>Calendarfall
>Death in the Calendar
>The Court of Calendars

>>83368166
what you're missing is /co/ having very loud people with opinions i suggest you ignore

>>83371235
I was wondering this, too. It doesn't seem to mean anything except that he's just... throwing food to bats. He doesn't look sad another young person is joining Batman's crusade or anything. I'm not sure if it's supposed to represent something.

>>83371412
You see the avocados represent teenage boys

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>>83371429

So Calendar Man is freaking out because of the missing time that Dr. Manhattan stole and triggered his dates autism right?

>>83369427

People still see her Green Arrow's gal despite her constantly offering her pussy to Batman and Batgirl (Barbara).

BLACK CANARY IS A SLUT AND SHE WANTS TO FUCK THE BATS OF GOTHAM! SLUUUUUUUUT!

>>83371469
I wish.

>>83371472
tell me more about Canary/Batgirl

>>83371459
Fast hands, big mouth

>>83371469

That would have been better

>>83371496
>>83371526
Nothing contradicts that. It could still be the case.

>>83371516

Just go read Dixon's Birds of Prey. Black Canary and Barbara Gordon were really, REALLY gay. Hands touching and all. Way beyond the line.

>>83368840
Obviously The Long Halloween, but there was also a story where he was in prison for Y2K and planned some big attack on Gotham to make up for it. I can't remember what it was called though.

>people are actually getting triggered because they changed FUCKING CALENDAR MAN
Who cares? IT'S FUCKING CALENDAR MAN. This is nothing like the Freeze thing. Jesus people....

>>83369078
Why the FUCK do we never get Batman and Robin anymore. If ever there was a time that they should be partnered up, it's now that they're literally father and son, but inexplicably it just doesn't happen. Not even occasionally. Fuck Snyder and fuck King too for not immediately throwing Duke in the trash and using Damien.

>>83371605
I'm sure Dixon really didn't mean for that to happen though, which makes it even more hilarious. See also: Tim Drake. Ironically, I feel Tim is the straightest when under Dixon of all people.

>>83371668
/co/ is really desperate to complain. Like can't even wait an issue or two to complain.

>>83371668

They're just b8in. It's to try and get the ball rolling on the "King was always a hack" meme

>>83369375
>Black Canary
kek

>>83371668

I actually like this more than the old calendar man

>>83371679

BATMAN NEVER SHOWS THE ROBIN. IT WAS THE SAME SHIT WHEN TIM WAS A ROBIN.

THE BATMAN BOOK IS FOR BATMAN ONLY BECAUSE THERE ARE AUTISTS OUT THERE THAT HATE ROBINS.

So the books that the Robins usually appeared were Detective Comics.

>>83371679
I hated it. I continue to hate it.

>>83367915
Okay, I liked this page.

>>83368953
>Why does the phone ring and he answers the door
Don't be a stupid fuck, it's not a phone. Obviously it's just an extension of the doorbell so he can hear it when he's outside.

>>83369375
You cheeky cunt.

This was pretty meh desu

>>83371459
Fast hands, my little robin.

>>83371832
THIS Daddy Superman' book is cooler i reed it,

>>83371832
>>83371886
Ugh ... STOP HATING ON KING
THIS MEME NEEDS TO STOP NOW

>>83370619
>>Jr Jr is such shit ...
lolno

>>83368533
>alternating
Arcs, not issues.

>>83371932
Are you really gonna reduce every opinion that doesn't match yours to meme status for the rest of your life, anon?

>>83371932
Kings Batman is as pretty meh.who could possibly keep up with all that shit Superdad Rebirth it's much better.

>>83368754
Literally kill yourself wiht your shit bait.

>>83368851
>mfw people are hating on King even though Snyder literally has the top writing credit on the issue
That means nothing. Snyder gets top billing because he's the bigger name.


>mfw Snyder literally has done bullshit like this before on his old run but people are saying it's all King's fault
Yeah. The meta stuff is definitely Snyder. He loves to hammer that shit into the readers

I think all the interactions between Damien as Robin and Bruce will probably end up being in Super Sons ?

>>83368072
The Death Star?
Besides this and the bit with Bruce on the heli-pad, there's a lot of marvel-esque touches to this one

Gotta applaud DC, this Rebirth issue were a complete and utter waste of time and worse money.

>>83369872
He was one of the main characters of We Are Robin. Pay attention.

>>83371685
iirc Dixon was trying to write Tim as asexual

>>83369487
Newfriend please. Lurk more

>>83370427
8/10, 7/10, 9/10, 10/10

>>83372113
It feels less asexual and more of a 'let's wait til we're older' deal to me, which makes more sense with him being like fourteen at the time.

>>83372110
Why the hell would I have read We Are Robin?

>>83371932
I'm a big fan of King and have read everything he's gotten published (that I'm aware of). Yet, I still found this meh. He's not going to hit a homerun everytime.

>>83372230
I haven't read the comics, it's from some interview or something of the sorts thqat I read a while back. And I could very well be misremembering.

>>83372258
>He's not going to hit a homerun everytime.
Apparently if you're not good all the time then you're always been a hack and always will be.