>It's a "Bibleman rallies the crusaders" episode

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>>83311258
>It's a "Bibleman disbands the Jehovah's Witness" episode

>Bibleman Beyond
>The White Knight
>Bibleman vs Fedoraman directed by Snack Zyder

>>83311375
>Bibleman vs Fedoraman

I would kill someone to see this.

>>83311258
>It's a "Bibleman defends a priest against allegations of pedophilia" episode

>>83311258
Which Bibleman was the true Bibleman?

Which of the sidekicks was the least awful?

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>>83311690
The bibleman Adventures Bibleman was the best bibleman.
Well, there were three different costumes, but this one was the best.

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>>83311258
I actually made a thread in /toy/ because I found Bibleman's sword of the spirit at a garage sale.

What the hell happened to him anyways?

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Wacky Protestor did nothing wrong.

>>83311793
He was killed by the jocular jews in the final episode, but its cool he had preptime beforehand so it was really his victory.

>>83311869
For real?

Or is that just a Jesus joke?

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>>83311258
BIBLEMAN CONFIRMED FOR FE FATES DLC

>>83311258
So are there any links to this show online? I feel like we should experience this show together.

>>83311945
Jesus joke, but there IS an episode where bibleman confronts a stereotypical jewish man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3En1-5f-J2E

>>83311258

Haven't thought about this guy since /m/ tried to rework his premise.

>>83312003
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWafxnt3Zv0
This episode is on youtube.

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So what DOES bibleman do superhero-wise? Like as far as I know he just shows up against bizarre mutated strawmen of bad non-christian people, waves his lightsaber around in the air and shouts a few bible verses to save the day.

And why do I sometimes see him in Silver armor instead of purple, did he actually have an animu SUPER MODE?

>>83312125
He changed costumes a lot to match whatever [s] batman [/s] and/or other popular superhero characters were wearing at the time.

And yes, that's exactly what he does superhero wise. He's basically a rich guy like Bruce Wayne, but instead of having his parents killed and wanting to avenge them, he realizes money won't make him happy and uses his money to spread the word of god.

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>it's a "Bibleman meets Colby's Clubhouse" episode

>>83311496

Bibleman's run by Protestants, if anything they'd be leading the charge.

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>>83312249

>>83312294
Did Bibleman have any catholic-themed antagonists?

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>>83312355
I don't know, but I would assume. Very few episodes can be found online.

>>83312355
What would that even look like? Some guy obsessed with Mary as his waifu who uses bread and wine as gain temporary superpowers (comparable but ultimately inferior to Bibleman's, obviously)?

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>>83312547
>Mary as his waifu who uses bread and wine as gain temporary superpowers

>>83311966
Bibleman looks cool, desu. Wish someone would just tweak the design a bit.

>>83312547
I would guess someone who tries to convince good Protestants that in order to be "true Christians," they must obey the orders of a supervillain based on the Pope.

>>83312320
Show me the uncropped version of that pic.

>>83312528
That bee looks fucking baked.

>>83312528
>implying Bibleman isn't superior to The Seventh Seal

>>83311375
>Man of God
>Bibleman destroys an entire city after fighting the false prophets.
>The White Knight Rises
>Something about jocks taking over the city and harassing all of the women

>>83312528
Who are the two people in the corner of the bibleman genesis cover?

>>83312687
His sidekicks

>>83312687
Bible Girl and Cypher, I believe?

>>83312687
His 2 sidekicks, biblegirl and cypher

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>>83311258
>Christian superhero
> Star Wars rip off
> Villains who sing catchy musical numbers
This show was so amazing

Bibleman, by Alan Moore
Y/N?

>>83312768
if you have that anon upload it please.

>>83312614

And has Soanish Inquisitors as his goons for Bibleman to beat up.

Bonus points if they go the Jack Chick direction and have Jesuit ninja assassins.

>>83312774

Oh god no.

>>83311258
Hail Satan.jpeg

>>83312813
>Soanish

*Spanish

fucking phone posting

>>83312719
>>83312721
>>83312738
Do they do much?

>>83312796
Found the entire film online. You're welcome. http://www.godtube.com/search/?q=Prince+of+pride

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>>83311258
Guys...they're making more

>>83312931
>godtube
First Jewtube and now this?

Thanks for the link though

>>83312970
ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN

>>83312970

He looks so...perturbed.

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>>83311765

>>83312970
We want the Disney Infinity audience

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>>83313041
tfw you improved my meme

Also someone made a parody bibleman article and the creator stated:
"We consider parody a form of flattery - Thanks The Babylon Bee!"

So as far as I can tell they're pretty based.

>>83312915
Cypher is the tech support guy. He sometimes has to upload Bibleman's armor onto him, piece by piece. They parodied this on the Venture Bros.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_QGEmoFhDk

>>83312970
its made in Canada.

So you know, quality cartoon incoming

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>>83312970

Jesus died for this.

>>83312547
It would just be Daredevil, wouldn't it?

>>83313017
CHOO CHOO

>>83312970
I'd baptize that blonde in a tub of holy liquid, if you know what I mean.

What I mean is cum bath.

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>>83312970

>>83312915
>>83313167
I feel like their main purpose was audience surrogates. They could stumble onto problems Bibleman needed to solve, and he could explain to them what he needed to do, and why.
They also did some gruntwork for him, resolving smaller obstacles to clear his path to a dramatic confrontation with the main enemy.

My fundie Pentecostal foster parents thought Bibleman was satanic. They bought a video of it from a Christian bookstore once for their (real) son and after seeing it took it back to the store and complained. I've never watched it and always wondered what they saw in the show to make them deem it the work of satan and hate it so much.

They liked VeggieTales though.

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Consider that you were contacted by Bibleman's parent company in order to produce an ongoing comic to revitalize the series. Your only requirements are that it doesn't go above a PG rating and that there must be a moral each issue. How would you approach it?

>>83313391
I make it a satire of religion, fundamentalism and political tribalism. Maybe I might eventually reveal that the whole thing is just the fever dreams of a nut in a Christian sponsored insane asylum .

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>It's a Harold Penisman episode

>>83313553
You can harold my penis, man.

>>83313495

Millar, please go.

>>83311258
I want to throatrape bibleman until he becomes my submissive cum bitch. Fuck god.

>>83313645
IDK mang, I wouldn't want it to be terribly edgy. Taking the piss out of several things with Bibleman was just the first thing that popped into my head.

>>83313672
The actor actually used to be a gay porn star, so bit late for that

Unrelated:

One time I was trying to find some information on Buddhist prayer bracelets and I came upon a weird Christian website. In it, it was saying Buddhists were going to hell because they believed in many gods and were superstitious, and Buddhism was just a bunch of rituals. There was a lot of stuff about how they were living in sin. It was hilarious, I wish I saved it. I imagine the same people who made Bibleman created the website.

>>83312681
>the white knight rises
>it's practically the same as TDKR only with fedoraman assuming that catwoman really doesn't want to help bane, she just needs a nice guy

>>83313804
Get outta here, Lisa.

>>83313357
>(real) son
explain

>>83313672
>its this anon Again
stob

>>83312006
america is one hell of a drug

>>83313858
He said they were his foster parents in the first sentence.

>>83313858

>Foster parents

Reading comprehension

>>83311258
>>It's a "Bibleman rallies the crusaders" episode
isn't that the one that ends with them sacking Constantinople?

Deus Vult

>>83313804
http://www.shoutingfromtherooftop.com/things-to-remove-from-our-homes-and-churches.html

>>83312970


Wow. The show is so freaking white. Not even a token black or anything.

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>>83311258
>Its a "Bibleman explains how you can be justified in believing Leviticus's command to hate the homos and still ignore Leviticus's rules about not eating bacon, shelfish, getting tattoos and wearing mixed fabrics"

>>83313974

>Ignoring literal COPY THAT on the far left

>>83312528
>protestants try to appeal to kids
>catholics just fuck them

>>83314012
Horus Reads the Internets actually explained that bredy wel.

>>83313972
>Pokemon (It's D&D for kids)

I have no problem with Christianity, but I think it takes a special unhinged person to write all this shit. Like those crazy murderers that write 60 page manifestos. I can barely write 20 pages for a research paper.

>>83313357
Who didn't like Veggietales?

>>83311258
Alas, it was too late for Sweden and Germany though

>>83314023
>catholics just fuck them
And then say Islamic terrorists where just like Jesus
This pope his hilarious in all the best ways

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>>83314023

>>83312970
>OFFICIALLY /CO/ RELATED™

>>83313972
>SCIENCE FICTION (Ephesians 6:12: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.)

Even if I set my brain to batshit crazy shit-scrawlings on a basement wall, I can't make sense out of this one.

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>>83314323
>sola scriptura
>not even once

>>83313391
Speaking as a christian I'd probably go the obvious childrens cartoon route. Most of the time he solves issues by talking it out instead of fighting. Try and drive home that the Bible teaches there aren't really 'bad guys' who are always wrong and we need to ignore. Have bibleman solve things outside of the suit.

>>83314323
Science fiction says a bunch of shit.

That's bad.

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>it's a "bibleman has to wipe out the catholic church because they rape kids and their pope is more muslim than christian" episode

Found a Bibleman feats thread
https://www.reddit.com/r/respectthreads/comments/4kwa5e/respect_bibleman_bibleman/

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>>83312547
>Some guy obsessed with Mary as his waifu who uses bread and wine as gain temporary superpowers
Would watch

>>83314956
>Escapes an energy field through sheer faith.
https://jii.moe/EJ1fqipMZ.webm

>>83315149

Is he fighting Juggalos?

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>>83315219
>Is he fighting Juggalos?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST THREAD EVER

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Who wins?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDSUCYj4_mM

>>83315352
Bibleman, Larry Boy was known even in-universe to be fairly incompetent, and often had to be saved by other characters in The League of Incredible Vegetables.

Bibleman can trap a woman in a tv screen by reciting scripture.

>>83315553
This desu

>>83315352
I'm going to say Bibleman - Larryboy's far too dependent on his gadgets, and has (in all the stories I remember) initially lacked faith in God, in favor of those tools. Bibleman would almost certainly teach him a lesson in the power of faith, and would claim complete victory in any duel they might have.

>>83312631
He's the king of the bees

>>83315396
>the fibbler

not even subtle

>>83313391
I'd make it as corny and terrible as possible to appeal to hipsters who watch Everything is Terrible

>>83311375
Bibleman of murder
https://jii.moe/V1rVjo6MW.gif

>>83312125
IIRC he got an "upgrade" when STEEL came out.

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>>83313391
Add Christ-chan

>>83315553
>Bibleman can trap a woman in a tv screen by reciting scripture.
What the hell is even the context of that?

>>83313972
that's pretty much standard religious person stance in Poland (or at least was a few years ago since I don't live there anymore), especially in rural areas and towns/cities closer to Ukraine than the west

>desperately try to come up with colors for an OC
>the best I can do is purple and yellow
>realize Bibleman did it

I don't know how to feel.

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>>83312619
Here joo go mane

>>83315865
She trapped him so that people would focus on her instead of bibleman because she was vain.

So as revenge, he trapped her in a tv.

>>83315865
It's from the respect thread
https://jii.moe/V1wqqiTfW.webm

>>83315883
Violet and Easter blue.

>>83315553
>trap a woman in a TV screen

He reached such a high power level that he can turn 3dpd into 2d.

>Grew up with non religious parents
>Watched bible man and book of virtues
>Think all religions are the same and get greek mythology mixed with christianity
>Go to church for the first time
>Ask questions about the greek gods and the monitor
>They think i'm a heretic

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>>83312970
Fucking hell, now it's /co/ related. At least I can watch Bible Reloaded trash this series too.

>>83313105

The Babylon Bee is basically the Onion for Protestants. It's satire is usually spot on.

>>83314323

Spiritual Warfare is a thing, you realize.

Unless you're one of those silly "empty hell" heretics who believe that everyone gets to go to heaven eventually and all "demons" are just old metaphors for what we know now to be mental illness.

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Remember this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZYt-Ef9Ws

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>>83311303
>>83312970
Now that they have an animated series, when can we expect Bibleman to fight that Jehovah's Witnesses mom?

https://youtu.be/fnk52bU92oE

>>83311258
>implying heathen protestants know anything about deus vult.

>>83316147
ASAP.

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>>83316147
Sparlock's revenge when?

>>83315958
With the power of faith, nothing is impossible

>>83316192
context pls

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Bibleman vs the Flying Spaghetti Monster when?

>>83316147
>People still getting butthurt by faggots

>>83316315
As a pastafarian, I'd pay to see this.

>>83316299
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgkTbQc63G0

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>>83316315
After a clash against Battle Pope

>>83316342
If I was a Christian, I'd be pretty concerned that yet another sin is being encouraged by the government.

>>83316092
>Unless you're one of those silly "empty hell" heretics who believe that everyone gets to go to heaven eventually

My parents taught us the opposite. Literally no one but God the Father, God the Son, and 144,000 chosen Jews get into Heaven. The rest of us need to be on our best behavior and beg God everyday to please not throw us into Hell and allow us to live an eternal life in a peaceful utopian-earth-like version of purgatory. That is the closest to Heaven we can hope God places us in.

>>83316350
Let's just assume for a second that Jehovah exists. Let's also assume he hates magic, and doesn't want people practicing witchcraft. Why does that mean a kid can't play with a toy that's part wizard? It's not like he's fucking ripping out a pig's spleen and giving it to a false god.

Let's imagine for a second that I'm god. Obviously I don't want my creations killing each other, so my scripture states that war and fighting are bad. But that doesn't mean you're going to go to fucking hell for playing Call of Duty. I'd rather have my creations vent their feelings in a simulation than actually do it in real life.

>>83316391

Jesus, how do you make Christianity even more fatalistic?

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>>83316126
It never ceases to amaze me how many bizarre even lower budget knockoffs of Power Rangers came out that no one remembers now.

>>83316467
Idolatry?

>>83316385
It's not even a sin anymore though. The point is that Jesus died on the cross so you didn't have to follow the old laws of not eating pigs, mixing dyes, planting different plants on the same side of the road, working on the sabbath, etc.

>>83316487
Calvinism?

>>83316500
So ten commandments are also cancelled? Is there anything left anymore?

>>83316497
The kid doesn't think the toy is an idol, he sees it as a character to look up to. Fictional role models are a thing, and if liking them is "idol worship" than I would allow my creations to worship idols. They would need other role models besides me.

#givebiblemanaboyfriend

>>83316467
People who are threatened by other's beliefs have a very shaky and weak conviction in their own beliefs. I've met very good Christians who don't give a fuck if their neighbor practices Sikhism.

>>83316579
This outsourcing will do you no good.

>>83316598
Sikhs are bros

>>83316576
It's stated the ten commandments are the only rules that still apply.

>>83316614
Sikhs are the ultimate bros. Some of the most giving and kindest people you'll meet. Also, those men that practice it are given swords to only be used to protect themselves or other people.

>>83316598
When I used to be christian this was how I was, but I wish more people realized religion is a way of finding one's self, and as such people will gravitate towards different religions and we should be tolerant.

>>83313972
>CHANTING (any kind of chanting; this can include rap music)
>LAMAZE (this is a controlled breathing method that can have a lasting, and spiritually evil, affect on both mother and child)
>TAPES, CD’S, OR EVEN INSTRUMENTS (i.e. rain sticks) WITH THE SOUNDS OF NATURE (used in false eastern meditation)
>ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARTIAL ARTS (based on the false religious principle of Taoism; see my document on ‘martial arts’)
>BEVERAGES NAMED AFTER NATURE (such as: earth, wind, fire, rain, etc; or beverages that are for the mind, body, and spirit; this includes tea; always read labels)

I love it, this person thinks that tea is evil.

>>83316385
>yet another sin is being encouraged

Something being legal doesn't mean it's being encouraged.

Talking negatively about the government is legal, for example, but the government is hardly encouraging anyone to do it.

>>83316598
Not being threatened is one this. But it's pretty much a doctrine that all non-Christians will go to hell.

Don't those good Christians have concerns for those poor pagan souls?

>>83316726
It's not just legal, it's accepted now on par with actual Christian marriage. I'm being told now that Old Testament is now abolished, but I don't think many Christians received the memo.

>>83316734
Isn't it the doctrine in roman catholicism since the 60s or so that non-christians who (even unconciously) live not breaking basic rules of morality will go to heaven or at least purgatory?

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>It's a "Bibleman must defeat evil dragon King Fedorah to save the earth" episode

>>83313773
Which actor? There was a few

>>83316467
That's thing though, God's a dick.

His son was way better and cooler, and then had to kill him to make a point.

>>83316500

People think that just because the PUNISHMENT for gay sex is listed in Leviticus, it counts under the ritual Mosaic law that the Council of Jerusalem threw out in Acts.

However, the institute of marriage as between man and woman and the concept of the division and purpose of the sexes was ordained by God himself in Genesis.

Jesus speaks out against aspects of the Mosaic law that contradict God's original plan (like rules regarding divorce) because they contradict that original consecrated sacrament. Saying that a sexual relationship between two men or two women is the exact same thing as a sacramental marriage between a man and a woman contradicts that too.

>>83311258
Does Bibleman have powers yet? Because if they gave him the Wisdom of Solomon and the Strength of Samson, and made it an episodic series where he saves people, it might be more watchable than the show was.

>>83316147
>grew up in non-religious household that never really talked about homosexuals
>constantly see anti-homosexual campaigns from Christians all throughout my life
>every single gay person I've ever met were Christians (and living my entire life in Columbus, OH, I've met my share of gay people)

I don't understand Christians.

>>83316924
>Escapes an energy field through sheer faith.
>Somehow... traps a woman in a tv screen, with scripture.
>Almost immediately vercomes a chemical mixture that induces doubt in the human mind through faith alone.
>Obliterates his foes with scripture.
>Inoculates himself to a device that psychically induces fear.
>Overcomes a misery inducing laser.
>He's a master swordsman.
https://www.reddit.com/r/respectthreads/comments/4kwa5e/respect_bibleman_bibleman/

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>>83311258
Holy shit I totally forgot about bibleman

I watched this because my mom said DC and Marvel were "tools of the devil"

>>83316494
That show felt more like Batman than Power Rangers to me.

Schumacher-esque Batman.

>>83316983
It's a two thousands year old morality tale that had to repeatedly make concessions to reality until its credibility deterorated to the point very few loons actually take it seriously while the rest just play along out of sense of community or something, picking and choosing.

>>83316847
It's not the exact same thing as a sacramental marriage though, just a LEGAL marriage.

>>83316500
Everyone who says this apparently hasn't bothered to read the Bible and is just going by what someone else told them.

Look up Romans 1:26, 1 Corinthians 6:9, 1 Timothy 1:9, and Jude 1:7, which are all found in the New Testament. The New Testament denounces homos too, not just the old.

>>83315219
Magnets vs Jesus

>>83317171

>Your miracles give me strength nigga!

>>83316126
Fuck, I though that was something TFS made up, it sounded so stupid.

>>83316391
Fuck me running, that's even more fucked up than Nihilism.

>>83316983
Christians, Jews, and sane Muslims all do this. Mental gymnastics to allow the faith they were raised in to be compatible with the modern life they live. This is why there are literally hundreds of sects of Christianity and why virtually every Christian you talk to will give you a different answer on what God really thinks about a particular situation.

>>83316579
God
Is
A
Dick

>>83316126
I can't see any tattoos

>>83316791
No, if you're not of the faith, you don't go to Heaven. I listen to a lot of Christian radio (because my shitbox car doesn't have FM radio), and they say that specifically.

>>83317298
Nihilism ain't so bad.

>>83316773
>It's not just legal, it's accepted now on par with actual Christian marriage.

Yes, it's recognized with the same legal weight. So are secular marriages. And Islamic marriages. and Jewish marriages. And every other non-Christian marriage. That still doesn't mean it's being encouraged by the government, and it doesn't mean you or anyone else has to approve of it or acknowledge it as legitimate/anything but sinful.

>I'm being told now that Old Testament is now abolished, but I don't think many Christians received the memo.

Then there are tons of things that the government has been "encouraging" by allowing them to be legal for years. Women teaching, women speaking in church, eating shellfish, wearing wool, having sex outside of marriage, eating non-kosher food...all of this is forbidden in the Old Testament and yet it's all perfectly legal. No one has been crying about any of that being legal for the last 200 years of our nation's history.

>>83316391
PROTESTANTISM NO

>>83316092
I have literally no idea of what you're talking about.

>its a crisis of infinite faiths episode
Bibleman
Hombre Biblia
Qur'an man
Hebrewman
Hinduman
Black bibleman

>>83317493
Well, there's a reason why I'm not Christian.

>>83316585
#givebiblemanaboyfriend

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>>83317648
You forget Captain Bible.

>>83317767
Did you hear Bibleman's next movie ends with Bibleman saying "Hail Satan" after throwing Cypher out of an helicopter?

>>83317939

How is the christian media so bad at designing mascots and superheroes? It can't be that hard to make a paragon type.

>>83318213
I dunno why, but people with uptight morals tend not to be the most creative.

>>83318273

Japan has many a contradiction to that idea.

>>83318323
I was speaking more in relation to Western/Anglo society, but aight.

>>83317974
I could legitimately see that happening! In the intro to Bibleman we see that he was a lowly atheist who hated God first, so he could have been programmed in the same way as Steve Rogers.

Bibleman producers need to copy and paste this shit

>>83317648
>crisis of infinite faiths
fuck you that sounds so fucking cool

>>83312768
I AM THE PRINCE
OF PRIDE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edzS9rbf6bM

>>83316049
As a Protestant, I agree. Bablyon Bee is a rare gem

>>83318213
>>83318273
For the last 2000-odd years of human society, Christianity fucking BROUGHT it. Handel's "Messiah," DaVinci's "Last Supper," all those Gregorian chants, the cathedrals, all of it was done for Jesus. But since about 1970, they've just been relegated to filing the serial numbers off of whatever the kids think is cool, slapping a "Jesus ROCKS!" sticker on it, and calling it a day.

It's kind of sad, Christianity. You could be doing a hell of a lot better, no pun intended.

>>83318821

Eye of the Tiber is the Catholic equivalent, but I'm not sure how much of the jokes a Protestant is going to get.

>>83312768
>As the premiere of a new Bibleman comic strip approaches, a news conference is planned to announce the series and focus attention on God. When the pretentious Prince of Pride hears of the plans, he zaps Bibleman and his friends into and ego-enhancing ray, putting their humility to its greatest test. Will a longing for the limelight make enemies out of them? Or does God have a plan for Shattering the Prince of Pride?

Even the plot is /co/ related

>>83318836
>tfw Christian and feel the same way
I really wish this wasn't the case. When it comes to music, I'd say Hillsong is the big offender because it started the "worship music is slow rock" trend that's dumbed down Christian music ever since.

Compare
https://youtu.be/IJr6cKEdWos?t=54s

https://youtu.be/aflHUpeBcUo?t=34s

>>83318858
>http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2012/12/26/confused-parishioner-wont-stop-accidently-saying-and-also-with-you/
You say that, but this immediately resonated with me. My extended family is all Catholic but my immediate family is Protestant, so I had no idea when the switch from "and also with you" to "and with your spirit" happened.
http://babylonbee.com/news/church-tech-guy-completes-historic-perfect-service/
As a church tech guy, this is more my speed though.

>http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=YGW7GNNX
>location: scary basement
>attention-grabbing action scene
Good to know they were self-aware

>>83316983
As a gay Christian with many gay Christian friends I can confirm this.

>>83312970
Where the hell is Bibleman's lightsaber?

>>83319315

I think his shield changes form into it.

>>83319178
Yeah, when did they change to that? I've never had so many out of shape white men glaring at me since yesterday's service.

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>>83319037

My biggest pet peeve during mass is using liturgical music composed after Vatican II.

90% of it is either too difficult to sing for the congregation, vaguely heretical in lyrical content, or just plain shit.

>>83311404
>They end up teaming up against jihadsday with the help of Chosen woman out of nowhere.

>>83319606

2010 was when they started using the new translation. It's supposed to be a closer translation to the original latin of the Roman rite, so a few things got changed.

I know the bishops are starting to push for priests to perform mass ad orientum again (used to be standard practice, then Vatican II said that the priest can perform it facing the congregation, and a lot of trads believe this gives people the wrong impression about the priest being the center of attention rather than acting in the spirit of Christ performing the sacrament)

>>83319644
Examples?

>>83319714
Hmm - is there a geographical component to it? I honestly first started hearing it yesterday in New York State.

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>>83319735

If I had my parish's hymnal I could pull you some examples, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Basically I just look at the copyright date for the song. If it's somewhere between '68 and the 90's, I'm most likely going to hate it.

And if it was composed from 2000 onwards, chances are it's going to wind up being more of a performance piece for the cantors and choir rather than something for the whole congregation.

But then again, I'm a nerd who loves chant settings for everything.

>yesterday was Corpus Christi sunday
>parish does Tantum Ergo for the entrance hymn
>mfw

>>83319799

It's up to the individual diocesan bishops to designate how they get the parishes on board to teach it to everyone, but it's been the standard across English-speaking dioceses since like October-ish of 2010, I believe.

>>83313391
Make him the captain america of christianity by that I basically mean he is the ideal of what a christian should be rather than what most christians are. Taking the high road and only fighting acting to save others but never using violence against others, having to use his powers and guile to find nonviolent means to help people and save the day.
Think something like Orel from Moral Orel crossed with Vash the stampede.

>>83319973

Also there should be an emphasis on humility. Especially for a kid's show, you can have the protagonist fuck up in a way then spend a plot on what he does to try and fix it, or come the realization that he was wrong. The hero is a hero because he keeps striving for perfection in God's will, not because he himself is just so badass that he can do everything perfectly already.

>>83319973
I'd have him as Michael Carpenter from Dresden Files: an exemplar of the faith, to be sure, but still sinfully human as anyone else.
Also he's a literal knight in shining armor made by his knockout of a wife after he saved her from a dragon after she was traded to it by a cult leader for magical power and then had a ton of kids with her.

>>83313972
>THEATRE MASKS WITH A SMILE AND FROWN (cause mood swings of extreme happiness or extreme sadness)
Wow, this guy really thinks that people have no control over their emotions whatsover.

>>83320062
>Also he's a literal knight in shining armor made by his knockout of a wife after he saved her from a dragon after she was traded to it by a cult leader for magical power and then had a ton of kids with her.

I fucking love hero protagonists that are parents. Fund this shit.

>>83320129
Well, he can only speak from his own experiences.

>>83320177
He's not the protagonist, Harry Dresden is. But being a parent is probably Michael's primary characteristic, other than being a Christian. None of Harry's peers have children - not his vampire half-brother, not his will-they-won't-they-for-like-20-years-they-finally-did-now-that-they're-40-years-old cop friend, not his polka-loving coroner buddy. Harry himself only recently found out he was a father, and he's been keeping his distance because of emotional/character/plot reasons.

>>83319037
>>83318836
>Implying Christian music doesn't still fucking BRING IT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0VBFSIK2Cs
I unironically love this song and I'm not even a believer

>>83320355

There's nothing wrong with that, it just sounds so... generic.

>>83316147
>Not one mention of the word heresy.

What a shame.

>>83319696
This is literally the plot of Kevin Smith's 'Dogma'

>>83320355
>everybody, give it up for jesus
I could never sing that line with a straight face.
>>83320845
>what if jesus, paul and a third person were cute girls?
The only good thing about Let's Bible is Rock Star Satan.

>>83320911
>What If - - - were cute girls?
Every time Japan...

>>83321031
I swear, when Japan gets anywhere near Christianity it never ends well.
>there's only one god
>and He's dying
>He's chosen from all of humanity a small pool of candidates for succession
>they'll duke it out, and whoever wins gets to be the new God
>oh and they're all from Japan
This is the plot of both Mirai Nikki and Platinum End.

>>83315396
>That theme song
Imagine being a child, your friends all playing with their Justice League action figures, trying to figure out how to beat The Joker and Lex Luthor. And there you are, telling them the power of prayer will stop the Joker toxin from killing the citizens of Gotham

>>83315919
>Trapping her in the televsion
>She can now be seen by the world
How does this solve the issue

>>83321133
Mirai Nikki was shit. Too much disturbing edgy imagery for the sake of being disturbing and edgy.

>>83321699
>oo much disturbing edgy imagery for the sake of being disturbing and edgy.
Was there? The disturbing shit I remember was just Yuno being insane.
Honestly the most uncomfortable point was the confession that it was desperation, not love.

>>83316996
Sorry for mentioning /a/ stuff, but.
Still a more convincing powerset than that reinhardt guy from re:zero.

>>83317246
Dude, you're lucky to not have been born in mexico.

>>83312294
You've never heard of Youth Pastors, have you?

>>83321880
You know that girl who could read a scroll to see what her followers saw? They showed her rape with full on nudity and screams multiple times.

>>83321894
http://www.thestranger.com/archive/youth-pastor-watch

>>83321959
I completely forgot about that part

>>83322045
I mean, there's rape for drama that might improve the show, and then there's shoehorning a rape scene in, which it was obvious it was doing.

I know what happens plot wise but I never actually finished watching it because I just couldn't handle the forced edgy and disturbing crap.

>>83322093
It only got worse. Yuno and MC become gods together through some time travel bullshit.
Basically this whole competition has been going on for a while because Yuno keeps fucking up and getting MC killed so she goes back in time to do it right, and keeps getting it wrong.

>>83322133
That sounds like something the author pulled out of their fucking ass because they got stuck in a corner.

>>83322195
I wouldn't be surprised at all if that was the case.
Platinum End, on the other hand, is at least giving me a villain I truly give a fuck about. Guy killed like 5 people in the space of 15 minutes, including a child. He even did some mind control shit to orchestrate it so each death had maximum impact.

>>83322133
>>83322195
Wasn't time travel, but it's easy to be confused because the writing isn't that great. There are multiple alternate realities which occur at different points, so Yuno can just jump ship when one kicks the bucket and join the next right before the game starts.

>>83321133

You forget Shiro of Amakusa, also known as Japan's Jesus.

>>83315396
This goes to all /m/en out there.

Whenever someone says toku music or hero music in general is ridiculous:

-stand in front of them
-look them in the eyes
-play this theme song and tell them:
'There's worse things around"

>>83323285

The worst part is that it's not even a hard premise to work around. Just take the hamfisted nature out of it and add some care on part of the plot and design elements and it's salvageable.

>>83316725
>rain
So water is too wicked for these people?

>>83315768
>Wanting a racist in a children's show

>>83316983
>grew up in non-religious household that never really talked about sinning
>constantly see anti-sin campaigns from Christians all throughout my life
>every single sinner I've ever met were Christians (and living my entire life in Columbus, OH, I've met my share of sinners)
>I don't understand Christians.

>>83323889

If it's WATER brand water, I suppose.

I still don't understand the whole "Our way is the one true way out of the gorillion sects and religions that exist" thing religions pull.

>>83320355
Sounds like the same bland mainstream pop pretending to be rock that you hear on the radio.

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>>83324085
>every single sinner I've ever met were Christians

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>>83320355

>>83312687
Spy Kids 3D

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>It's a "Bibleman fights the Eastern Warlocks of Schema" episode

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>>83320355
Since we're on the subject of Christian music, I've always felt that this would've made a great theme song for a sitcom about a guy who's roommate / best friend is literally God.

I'm sure a show like that already exists, but they missed their chance at being the best show ever by not including this as their theme song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXq6b29QR9Y

>>83328367

God, The Devil, and Bob.

>>83318323
Are Japan's morals really that uptight if the majority of the country is fine with the super sexual (and at times pornographic) manga and anime? Along with the extremely violent and gory ones?

>>83316487
Calvinism. Literally Islam lite.

>It's a "/co/ discusses religion" episode

>>83329063

Japan's always been artistically liberal, socially conservative.

So in the Bibleman universe, villains try to lead kids down the path to Satan

But are those of wrong faiths, like Mormons or Catholics, villains, or are they anti-heroes

>>83316576
The New Testament is kinda like Flashpoint for the Bible, with the ten commandments still carrying over kinda like Green Lantern and Batman stuff did.

>>83329063
Japan is more artistically liberal than most countries in the region, drawing smut in South Korea could result in the po-po knocking on your door and dragging you to the big house.

/co/ recommended Christian programming

Entry Level:
>VeggieTales

Mid Level:
>Bibleman

This Be the Symphony Heard Upon the Dying of the Earth Level:
>Colby's Clubhouse

>>83321133
>>oh and they're all from Japan
This applies to literally every piece of media Japan has ever created ever because No on is better than GLORIOUS NIPPON DESU

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>>83333056
The Secret Adventure series

>>83333605
That's not entirely true. There have been anime that have American or European characters (that are prominent, not in the background) or take place in American or European settings.

>>83328255
I can see these as bad guys

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will he save the world or destroy it?

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>>83312547
He has to fight zombie duke of alva.

>>83314023
We also try to appeal to the japs and weebs, see? irl shota.

Loli is shit.

>>83334023
Name 2 series where 1 of the main characters is foreign not half Japanese completely foreign and where they actually do something noteworthy or resolve a key issue regarding the plot

>>83311258
RANKING FOR CHRISTIAN SHOWS
>Holy of Holies Tier
Adventures in Odyssey
Last Chance Detectives
>Good tier
McGee & Me
Veggie Tales
>Okay tier
Story Keepers
Greatest Adventures: Stories from the Bible
>bad tier
Captain Noah and his Magical Ark
>Rather go to hell Tier
Bibleman

>>83334618
Superbook should be in bad tier

>>83334618
You fucking take that back

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>>83312006

>>83333680
Mcgee and me is a classic christian kid show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vALpwgc2dqU

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Little Dogs on the Prairie

>>83312970
WE CAPTAIN CHRISTIAN NOW

>>83334618
Odyssey is GOAT storytelling and worldbuilding idc what your worldviews are.

>>83312125
>Thanks Bibleman for helping us save those people from that burning building
>Oh it's nothing, here guys I got some pamphlets.
>Oh god, here we go again....

>>83334561
Baccano and Sci-fi Harry.

>>83321390
>Joker becomes a born again Christian
>Batman has to temp him to come back to crime

How about a reboot?
>Bibleman;Apocalypse
>It's the end of days, Christians are being hunted left and right and the remaining few meet underground.
>Our MC is taken to a meeting, albeit reluctantly, by his parents. Where unfortunately, the antichrist's army finds the meeting and has everyone executed.
>Our MC manages to survive, but is horribly injured. In the blood loss, he stumbles upon Bibleman's old mansion and finds the armor.
>Our MC takes up the mantle of Bibleman as he fights against the forces of the Antichrist, working his way up, fighting against enemies such as the four horsemen, the whole of Babylon, and the False Prophet.

>>83336066
damn I'd watch the shit out of that

only if the OG Bibleman is a wheelchair bound mentor

>Bibleman Beyond

>>83336178
New Bibleman starts with little faith, and is more fueled by revenge. But as he continues, he finds solstice in the teachings of the bible and leads the underground as his faith grows larger.

>>83336329
So like an OT interpretation of god vs the NT one?

>>83336178
He most likely died before the end days started or was taken up when the first horn was blown. Or he was left behind and had a crisis of faith, believing that since he wasn't good enough to be taken, that he didn't deserve to carry the armor. Though the real reason he was left behind was because he needed to stay to protect those left behind.

>>83336066
>>83336329
Hell yes.

The only thing here is that the majority view here is that all of that would be taking place after the rapture, so OG Bibleman wouldn't be there. It'd still make sense though, a new Christian raised after the rapture finding the Bibleman mansion and reading his archives and all of that, becoming the new Bibleman to help fight the forces.

The ending would be him and all the others getting decapitated in the end, as he refuses to deny his faith. It's a see you later space cowboy kind of moment he has with the other characters, only to end on a happy note with him coming back as a leader fighting in the holy war.

>>83336552
Either that or Bibleman and the Antichrist fight, though at this point, it's Lucifer inside of that body. Obviously a human can't fight an Archangel, even a fallen one, so he gets wreaked. Just as the Devil is about to deliver the final blow, God Himself comes down to finally take care of the prince of darkness and after a very one sided fight, banishes the devil to the pit of fire, finishing the earth's end. and sending our hero to spend eternity in heaven with his family.

>Bibleman is bought by Disney
>Bibleman is in MCU

Which actor would be the best Bibleman /co/?

>>83336892
Idris Elba

>>83314056
Wasn't the disobedience of slaves one of the "laws" that was still left after after the whole New Testament retcon?

>>83311258
Who's run was the best?Moore,Ennis,Miller or Morrison,i think Moore's BibleMan really dove into the mind of BibleMan,But i really liked Millers gritter version.

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>>83314023
>catholics just fuck them

>>83336066
>>83336329
>>83336531
>>83336552
We need to make this real, either live action or webcomic.

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>>83316029
>watching Bible Reloaded

>>83321959
Rape is not disturbing, it's hot.

>>83337977
It's disturbingly hot

>it's a Phoenix Jones got arrested episode

>>83316147
Homo here, why do Christians get so butthurt over being gay? I never really understood why they chose to focus on that instead of the million other things their Bible tells them is a sin.

>>83312774
Yes

>>83312970
Can't wait

>>83313697
that's sounds great to be honest

>>83316983
Not making this shit up, I once had a guy try to convert me after we had gay sex.

>>83334561
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Parts 1, 2, and 3 (3 of the main characters in part 3 aren't Japanese)

Hellsing Ultimate

>>83320355
Christian music is at best like the shitty off brand food you see in the supermarket that always tastes inferior to the real version.

>>83315768
As much as its /pol/shit there was this one Christ chan image that had a caption I really liked which is odd considering I'm not even religious

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>>83317069

>>83329063
They are really socially-conservative, the wackiness of anime and manga or bizarre gameshows is not an accurate window into their real life society.

Its more like cracks venting out high-pressure steam.

>>83338591
Phoenix Jones seems like an alright fellow, he might not be taking down kingpins but he at least is doing some small good and not going crazy about it.

>>83336066
>>83336329
>>83336531


IDW, are you listening?

>>83313972
>Anything to do with pornography--even Christian pornography

Wait, what? I have never heard about Christian pornography. What the hell do they do? Do they pray while fuck?

>>83340872
The tits lactate milk endlessly because of HOLY reasons.

The lady saint saves people from starvation with her holy milkjugs.
Especially the one monk that got to be on the painting.

>>83340872
I don't think thats an actual thing, person is just crazy

>>83317939
Remember browsing a lets play of that game, looked terrible. Wasn't there an entire corp of biblemen in their mobile base outside of the aforementioned DOME OF DARKNESS all dressed up like that and the Bible Commissioner had this big porn star mustache?

>>83336329
>he finds solstice

>>83338767

prestersfiresidechats dot blogspot dot com

Former fundie explains it in this article, if the antispam will let me post it

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>>83316049
I can't let this gem go

>>83316614
Yeah, they're pretty sikh

>>83311258
>page 8
goodnight sweet thread

what is the best song and why is it this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8_EfDqF7YI

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>>83336066
>imagining all the trippy as fuck sequences
>imagining all the great designs the villains would have

All of my support.

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You know what to do, /co/. I would but I'm on my phone.

>>83345904
>The whore of Babylon constantly tries to seduce our hero.
>The false prophet has the power to make people see what they truly desire. He traps Bibleman and puts him in a world where his family is still alive, the end days aren't happening, and there's no reason for him to fight.

>>83312528
Why is protestant media so based, and catholic media snorezville-wankery-tier?

>>83316791
The official stance of the Roman Catholic Church is that everyone goes to heaven.

The official stance of Protestantism depends on the pastor and the week.

>Live-action Bible Man feature film announced
>Snyder directing
Would you be ready for Christiankino?

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>>83346007
>Harold Penisman crashes through the window to try and sell Bibleman some free drugs

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>>83346007
>We'll never see femdom Rule 34 of the Whore of Babylon with Bibleman

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>>83346187

>>83346614
We need to design them first

>>83346224
Maybe

>>83312355
Why would a Bibleman have an enemy in face of church?
But a protestant based villain would be called Purger

>>83346164
Because you have a consumer mentality.

>>83346704
I remember when our local catholic, presbyterian and jehovah churches did this just a friendly local banter
But the muslims just had to ruin it

>>83328255
I'm pretty sure those are Orthodox.

>>83348688
Bibleman is a protestant show

>>83348856
>Bibleman fights the Orthodox Imposer, only to band together to combat the corrupted Catholiar and his overlord, the oil tycoon M. U. Slim

>>83346614
There's nothing stopping you from making it, aside from a conscience

>>83349324
Now I want to see an Oriental Orthodox Bibleman character

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>>83340938
>The tits lactate milk endlessly
>The lady saint saves people from starvation with her holy milkjugs

>>83320355
I really unironically enjoy Theocracy. Dem power metal riffs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3TsVaFR870

>>83347343
Drawfriends, get on this

>>83340872
>>83340938
>>83341590

>Straight couple after their Catholic wedding reception
>Ready to consummate their marriage
>Both undress fully before getting into bed
>Missionary position, no orgasm sounds

>>83320355
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsNhNdnwgZg

>>83351777
>They cheer in joy as the pregnancy test is positive
>They go through buying a new house for their new family
>Nine months later, they have a beautiful baby girl