Things you thought were more common then they are because of cartoons

...I thought Hitler was still alive...

Spinach gives you superstrength.

Fuck you, Popeye. Broke my hand because of your scurvy-ridden ass.

>>83195705
didnt eat enough spinach

>>83195705

Bugs Bunny made me think raw carrots were delicious.

...they are not.

King of the Hill made me think my dad loved me

>>83195705
How the fuck did you break your hand eating Spinach lol retard.

>>83195901
Aside from being a little too hard, carrots are fine. Did you wash it first?

>>83196123
I ate spinach and tried to one-punch a brick wall. I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SUPERSTRENGTH.

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Keeping Baboons is a common practice.
So is eating the skin of pigs faces.

Ren and Stimpy actually made me believe a long list of disturbing things to be realities.

>>83195641
I WISH my town was littered with roaming jazz playing saxophone guys.
Sounds fuckin' sugoi.

Love at first sight.

Inner beauty.

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>>83196446
>sugoi

>>83196446
You think so until it's 4AM, you've got to be up in four hours, and you hear baker street blasting outside your window.

>>83195641
I was pretty on the ball as a kid. I worked sex out at a young age.

But two things eluded me. I could never tell Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck apart and I thought bats were fictional creatures like unicorns and dragons because of their association with vampires.

I thought clothing mishaps in public were as common as cartoons let on. I was wrong, but it led to me enjoy my fetish of girls becoming disrobed in public and/or it happening to me

>>83197115
I wanna hear the story of you finding out bats were real.

>>83197278
I was sitting in a parking lot one evening in the truck with my uncle waiting for my grandma and mom to come out of the store and I was looking overhead in the darkening sky and saw some screeching "birds" fly over and mentioned it to my uncle.

He said, "Those are bats." and I was like, what whaaaaaaaat? Bats are real?!?!

Blew my mind. I was like seven or eight at the time.

>>83197115
I always thought narwhals weren't real.
I only found out otherwise about a year ago. I felt like a pleb.

>>83197365
Rather anticlimactic story, wasn't it.

School Politics. Like y'know Class President and all that shit. I thought it'd be a big deal, then it came up and no one gave a shit. I don't even know what they did.
Also Hall Monitors.

I thought all Scots were rought-and-tumble redhaired farmers who lived in sunny plains.

>>83197398
it was

>>83197450
My country doesn't even have hall monitors. Kids are just expected to ask to be excused and if they take more than 15 minutes out another kid is sent to find out if they're still alive. By high school people are just waltzing in and out of the classroom without saying anything.

>>83197398
C'iest la vie anon.

I thought ever white kid had a black best friend, so I thought my best friend was black, even though he was completely white (though slightly tanned).

>>83195901
Were you actually eating carrots? They're one of few foods that are good in any form.

Me and my brother drew a line down the middle of our room when we could not stand each other, we knew it never worked out on TV but we thought it would work for us. it did not

Easy sex on college.

>>83195901
>they are not
Yes they are.

Winking at someone you got the hots being charming.

>>83197526
>>83197578
I don't like carrots in almost any form.
But i'm fine with pretty much all other vegetables, idk why.

>>83197515
I had a black best friend

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>>83195641

Friends will help you when you feel down like take you out to see a movie, to eat, to play video games, bowling, parties, etc.

Instead they are more like '' Do you feel bad? Call me when you get over it. Still feeling bad? I'm just going to talk with you less and less then.''

>>83197694
Was he your nerdy sidekick?

I thought food fights were a thing that actually happened.

Ended up getting suspended for a week for hitting a kid in the face with a corncob.

>>83195641
I thought there was another earth on the other side of the sun, has this been disproven?

because of all the montages I thought it would be easy to get fit

I thought that pure energy was a thing, don't care enough anymore to verify that

I never bought into the veggies are gross thing though, brussel sprouts are god teir


>>83195901
they are you pleb

>>83195901
Same. The way he ate them, it seemed like they were crunchy and almost crispy like potato chips.

Instead they're just sort of tough, very stringy, bitter pieces of shit that are only just barely edible. Gotta cook that nonsense real well until it's soft and easy to swallow.

>>83197730
Nah, you just have shitty friends.

>>83197736
We were both nerds, but in this case, I would be the sidekick

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>>83195641
>>83196446
The Saxophne Jazzman used to be a common sight on urban areas but they were driven to the brink of extinction in their natural habitat by security guards. Here is a footage of one of the lasts wild saxophone jazzman https://youtu.be/GaoLU6zKaws

Girls are pure and much more pruddish than men when it comes to sex and lewdness.

>>83197861
But they are crunchy and almost like potatoe chips

>>83197861
You're supposed to cut off the skin mate.

>>83197974
There is a saxophone jazzman on the street I work. I even got him a gig at an office party once. It's funny how he fits the stereotype.

>>83197979
Girls are cleaner and more organized than guys.

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i used to think Treehouses were a common thing until i started going out and realized that there were barely trees were i live

also i tought that there were really some secret ways of becoming a hero or superhero, like some kind of real life K.N.D or a secret hero school for kids that really want to fight evil

>>83197974
So majestic

The Girls Bathroom is clean and pristine.

Holy shit, it should be illegal to lie so blatantly.

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>>83198053
>also i tought that there were really some secret ways of becoming a hero or superhero, like some kind of real life K.N.D or a secret hero school for kids that really want to fight evil

There were.
You just weren't worthy.

Dodgeball being hardcore.

I played a lot of dodgeball when I was a kid at P.E. and it was pretty tame, even though you would occasionally get hit in the face or the nuts.

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Broccoli tastes bad


it's actually ok

Simpson's made me think bars and taverns were all "Moes" and all of them had a surly guy named Moe running it and if you were named Moe you were destined to grow up to be a bartender.

I also thought androids were real and giant robots were a thing. I also thought X-Men's mutants were real and thought I might be a mutant.

>>83197845

I mean, you could have at least thrown something less solid. Every food fight starts with mashed potatoes because they can't knock out teeth or leave bruises.

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>If you believe hard enough you can visit a magical world
>if you stand up to the bully everyone will have your back and you won't get your ass beat
>muster up the courage to ask her to the dance and she'll say yes

>>83197847
>I thought there was another earth on the other side of the sun, has this been disproven?

What cartoons made you believe that??

The idea that kids who don't fit in or have a hard time in high school have everything work out for them in college

Goddamn I'm still pissed about this lie

>>83198336
That Spider-Man one, but it being a cartoon based off of a comic I really should have known better. It just made sense

>>83197979
Th-this isn't true

I hope it's not, I would love a pervert gf

>>83195641

New Jersey is a shithole

>>83197979
They are.
Toward you.

>>83198372
Let's be honest, by the time you were old enough to be in high school you should know better than to believe the television's lies.

>>83198661
Yeah, but that only happens when you have friends.

>>83195901
Fun fact: The whole "eating carrots gives you better eye sight" was a propaganda bit from world war two. The allied bomb sights were so superior that the command had to come up with a reason why that didn't give it away. Bugs Bunny was in the war and he ate carrots, so the smoke screen was that American pilots ate more carrots and that gave them better eye sight. It became ingrained in the culture and even to this day, it's taken as a fact. Beta carotene will help your eyes. It will not give you better eye sight.

>>83197515
Ahahaha wat

>>83198446
Take it from someone who was in high school and is now a high school teacher.

From ages 15 to 18, they're as much of a horndog as any guy, but more subtle about it.

>>83195901
You're a fag.

>teachers like nerds
>classmates like nerds
>tomboys like nerds
>nerds like other nerds
>ANYONE likes nerds

Also,
>nerds are smart
>nerds become successful as adults

>>83198514
It's not?

>>83198852
I was a nerd and people liked me.

You can be a nerd as long as you're not a complete dweeb.

>>83198788
And how would you know that, as a teacher?
Wanna take a seat?

>>83199067
I have eyes and a classroom of 50+ students.

I've seen some shit, man.

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>>83198852
>tfw the dumbest, loud mouthed, trouble makers are actually very well liked by the teachers and staff because they can make them laugh

>>83195705
I ate tons of spinach as a kid thanks to that cartoon and now I'm built like an brick wall.

You just didn't eat enough my friend.

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>>83199223

>>83199149
>classroom of 50+ students.

That's a big class.

Also not that I want to derail the thread, but you made me curious. What's the most fucked up shit you saw?

>>83199223
Well, yeah, they're outgoing and generally charming. And teachers love to play favorites.

>>83198771
Incorrect, a lack of Vitamin A causes blindness. Beta Carotene can be metabolized into Vitamin A.

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beer tasting good (as a kid, i watched alot of the simpsons and thought it would be sweet kinda like a soda )
once you acquire a taste for it though it's not bad

>>83197553
the trick is to be appealing

>>83199325
I hear more than I see, but what I did see, relating to sex.

>Heavy petting in the empty classroom ahead of the beginning of the school day.

>An impromptu sexy dance in the middle of class.

>An impromptu double-road sexy massage session.

>Kids of both genders looking at porn. And not the vanilla kind. Both in their cellphones and on the school computer. One got the entire system infected with malware.

>A girl loosing her top and a boy instinctively going for the boobs, claiming he's "covering her up".

>Kids both genders trying to tease their teachers.

>Kid climaxing from accidental dry-humping.

Plus they're having sex in the bathrooms. We know, they know it, even their parents know it.

>>83199350
Which is kinda bullshit. I'm working on becoming a teacher myself, and i believe teachers should care for and nurture every young mind, even the students who may not like the teacher in question.

>>83199149
Storytime?

>>83198308

the trick to standing up to bullies to kick the beta of the group's ass

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>>83199581
Holy shit this is my fetish

>>83199589
I dont think its on purpose dude, you will naturally find some student with outgoing or charming personalities that you will like more, even if you try not to

>>83199661
I meant
>Kid climaxing from accidental dry-humping.
specifically.

How do you accidentally dry hump anyway?

>>83198852
>teachers like nerds
>classmates like nerds
>tomboys like nerds
>nerds like other nerds
>ANYONE likes nerds

What did you watch that gave you these impressions. Every piece of media I saw as a kid portrayed nerds as universally loathed/shunned.

>nerds are smart

They are. I think you're confusing 'nerd' with 'geek'. Nerds are proficient in academics. Geeks are proficient in inconsequential activities.

>>83199581

your sex ed classes must be fucking lit, all that happened in mine was a white guy in a gucci hat asking what a clitoris is

>>83199589
All teachers start like that, but lose the sentiment eventually.

Depends on where you end up, though. It is known the biggest source of soul-crushing despair is high school.

>>83199581
>This is just the stuff one teacher saw
>Haven't even been on a date yet

>>83199704
He had a girl sitting on his lap and she was moving around. Whether she felt his boner or not I don't know, but she moved enough for his to nut in his pants. It wasn't pretty, though, every one saw it and she walked away in disgust.

>>83199727
I was bored as shit in sex Ed because I knew all this shit from porn and the anatomy from hentai manga.

>>83199727
We don't have sex ed, we just go through the basics on Biology class.

>>83199839
>anatomy
>hentai manga

oh, buddy

>>83199687
I'll try my best not to give them special treatment. God, I really don't want to become one of those teachers. It's a scary thought, but I'm hell bent on teaching my favorite subject (English) and passing it on to the future. And if they don't like the subject, the best I can hope for is that I leave a Mr. Keating-esque impression on them and they leave as better people.

>>83199885
It was all those X ray shots and those oddly specific descriptions if what was happening. It was enough to pass a high school sex Ed class.

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>>83199635
It was just one, at least back in thrid grade. One big one. As I stood up to him I realized that no one else really cared, as he was the cool kid and only fucked with me. I tried to back down but it was too late.

When everyone was walking home from school he punched me in the face a few times and ran off. As I layed there in the snow with blood rushing out of my nose I realized that I should be more careful when picking my battles

>>83197979
I worked in a high school for 2 weeks as an electrician, can confirm.

>>83199223

not where I grew up. teacher liked kids that fucking learned something. or knew how to talk to an adult.

but then again in my shitty town most loudmouth trouble makers were also the illiterate kids that had bad hygiene.

>>83197515
Fucking this, my best friend is black and my nerdy sidekick

>>83200050
Happens sometimes. Got into a mess of a situation with a little Alex Forrest on sophomore year in high school and she put some guys up to beat me, and a few of my classmates stood up to me, since I was taking their abuse without a peep to ensure plausible deniability.

>>83199223
It's more than that.

The teachers WERE the loud mouthed, dumb trouble makers. That's why they only managed to become teachers.

Obviously the more advanced and actually difficult a field is, the less likely this becomes.

>>83197861
>The way he ate them, it seemed like they were crunchy and almost crispy like potato chips.

You sound like a monumental fatass

i'm not a big fan of carrots either, I just thought I'd point that out.

>>83198771
Thanks reddit. You're not getting any upvotes for your bullsht everyone-already-knows-this fact here. You can leave now.

>>83199950

this has to be a joke

>>83196406
>keeping baboons is a common practice

In some places it is, Anon.


I regret not buying that baboon every day of my life.

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Because of this bumper and others like it I thought that cartoon characters were real people and just actors in cartoon form. But, still kept their personalities off the camera. Things like this, Space Jam, and Who framed Rodger Rabbit lead me to believe this. I was so heartbroken when my mother told me the truth. I had to be about 5 or 6. I didn't have many friends and one of my dreams at this age was to meet these characters and befriend them. All was lost.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEfjyIC3XQo

>>83200442
Nope. Some of them got pretty fucking detailed.

>>83197974
DUUUDE you might think this saxophone jazzman is one cool cat [random screeching and animal noises] but he'd better watch out [guitar riff] because this security guard is about to show him that the law [more growling noises] don't play [wipe cut to next segment]

>Jocks always wear their jerseys.
>Cheerleaders always wear their uniforms.
>Nerds always have glasses, bowties and pens in their shirt pockets.
>Bullies always have ripped jeans, pocket chains, grungy hair and tower above everyone else.
>The black guy has an afro.

>>83197450
This. School in general is a hell of a lot more interesting in fiction. We didn't have lockers large enough to be stuffed in, nobody got swirlied, there wasn't even enough time between classes to hold a conversation.

>>83197974
>HE DOESN'T LIKE GEORGE MICHAEL, BOO!

>>83200755
>School in general is a hell of a lot more interesting in fiction
School in fiction is interesting, but I wish they would focus on believable things. There are plenty of fucked up cool things that happen in real life schools that could fit into a cartoon

>>83200755

Tell me about it. I got to High School expecting some kind of web of intrigue as cliques warred with one another. Instead I got a bunch of upper-middle class white kids getting drunk on their lazy parents money, a few stoners, and nothing else of any interest.

>>83197979
Yeah, this one is bullshit. They're just not as vocal about it because there's also a huge stigma against females being sexual.

>>83198852
>>83200174
This is bullshit though. I was a nerd and plenty of teachers liked me or other nerds. It really depends on the teacher, I think.

>>83197115
>I could never tell Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck apart

For a long time, I thought that Tom Hanks and Bill Murray were the same person.

I thought if I wished real hard, I would turn into an animated character in a cartoon and go on fun adventures.

:(

I used to think censor bars were a type of underpants.

As a kid I had no idea what censorship was, or that there was a committee of people who "blacked out" offensive things. It got even more confusing when cartoons would get meta, and the characters would interact or acknowledge censor bars on the screen.

I had no clue that in shows where characters interact with censor bars it was supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek "whoops, can't show that on a Christian image board!"

>>83200879
Too bad you missed the social network age, bro. That happened hardcore. I told /co/ once before how our school had a real-life Gossip Girl.

Sewers are very wide open labyrinthine tunnels that most people could easily tolerate walking through indefinitely.

New York is full of people with technicolor hair and technicolor trench coats.

Trench coats and fedoras are the least suspicious articles of clothing in the world.

>>83195901
Carrots are fine when they're fresh. When they've been out of the ground a while, though, or when they're particularly large and woody, the skin contains quantities of foul-tasting stuff (including alcohol) to put any browsing animals off eating them before they can root properly and continue their growth cycle.

Eat fresher carrots; they're sweet. In fact, carrots contain rather a large amount of sugars, as do most root vegetables.

>>83195705
You're just plain retarded.

>>83200966
Same. Didn't help that there was an episode of Rocko's Modern Life where they literally wore physical censor bars

I thought tumbleweeds were an entirely fictional thing, a visual gag or sign that something is empty or abandoned.

>>83201003

I'm well aware of what's happening now. My job involves a lot of interaction with teenagers so I get all kinds of stories about the latest goings-on at the local high schools. Shit's positively Machiavellian on occasion.

it just makes me wonder where those tropes came from in my childhood cartoons if the Information Age is what enabled them.

>Teachers closing the door on you the minute the late bell rang

Only one teacher gave a fuck, and she wouldn't even write you up, just say you're getting detention in a joking manner. I once didn't arrive to class until 20 minutes before it ended and wasn't considered late (though, it was a substitute). As long as you're not failing, you're fine

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i remember getting pretty upset when i was little because i could never be a cartoon character. being a cartoon character meant you never had to die and everything would always be okay and life was easy.

i'm 20 now and still feel the same way

>>83198045
not fucking true, every girls room I've ever been in shit was literally all over the place and don't get me started on the nasty ass bathrooms

>>83200749
> Nerd description

I hate when nerds are depicted like that. I swear, on the rare occasions I watch Let's Make a Deal, there's always one person dressed like that and proud of it.

>>83200879
We had alot
>ghetto girls
>trashy girls
>tards
>weebs
>geeks
>nerds
>jocks
>average kids
>stoners
>outcasts
It was fun

>>83198438
You believed in Counter-Earth as a child?

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>>83201189
Yup

I thought "penis" was a kind of footwear.

>>83201165
You know people on Let's Make a Deal wear over the top costumes on purpose to get the Host's attention, right?

>>83201246
how?

>>83200442
What's the joke? Because Id believe American sex-ed IS that pathetic.

>>83201147
>being a cartoon character meant you never had to die and everything would always be okay
>and life was easy


>>83201179
>Keeping your head down and doing your work so you wouldn't accidentally look at the ass of the girl twerking on the table in front of you
High school was fun.
Speaking of which, why are there no schools in fiction based on vocational schools?

>>83201110
I arrive 20 minutes late once, with the principal's permission. Teacher asked me "aren't you a little late for first period?". Tried to be funny and answered "at least I'm early for second period".

She kicked me out of class and tried to get me suspended.

>>83201354
>Hey anon, how many periods do you lave a day?
>Oh, seven
I'll never forget that

>>83201283
I'm brazilian. "Sneakers" are called "Tenis" here. "Penis" and "Tenis" sound alike and my five year old mind didn't get sex yet.

>>83201252
Yes. Stiil, the stereotypical nerd costume triggers my autism like nothing else

>>83201427
ah

The Simpsons made beer seem like the most delicious drink in the universe.

Turns out it's the worst.

I misheard "anal sex" for "annual sex" and thought people that did anal only had sex once a year, and when someone asked "you did anal?" or "can I get anal?", they meant they had consumated their quota for the year.

Being a kid in a pre-Internet era and with access only to softcore porn on Cinemax, I didn't know about vaginas and thought you have sex by pushing your dick down until it's vertical and rubbing the shaft on the woman's crotch.

Tried to masturbate in the shower (because raunchy comedies always had the guys doing it in the shower) under that notion. It wasn't pretty.

>>83201568
>Tried to masturbate in the shower
I can't do it. No matter what I try I just can't get aroused in the shower

>>83200879

Sometimes things sneak up on you. For three years there was a kind of nerdy hanger-on to the "cool kid" group, usually just helping them out with their homework and shit to that effect.

Halfway through senior year that kid had become the undisputed king of the school. He'd spent the past few years accumulating blackmail material and other leverage on anyone in the school who mattered. The student council pres. was forced to resign, three members of the basketball team got expelled, legend has it he fucked half the girls volleyball team.

I was on the "average" scale so I was never involved in any of that courtroom drama bullshit to any great extent, but apparently a conversation I'd once had with the kid was instrumental in him having three people suspended.

I swear to god that guy's going to be a Fortune 500 CEO or in prison by the time of our Reunion.

>>83199581
>tfw will never wind back time and live a high school life like that.
>tfw even if possible to return in time, I'll miss on everything like the autist I am.

>>83201617
I don't do it because I don't live alone and I don't want to clog the drain.

>>83201617
I only managed once, but I came in with a pre-conceived boner.

The shower just isn't sexy when you're on your own.

>>83201631
>accumulating blackmail material
>Student council pres. forced to resign
>Three members of the basketball team got expelled
This is not the way I thought this story would go.

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>>83201032
>New York is full of people with technicolor hair and technicolor trench coats.

Also: that an average person on an average person's income could afford to live in a huge apartment in the center of a major city.

It could easily put you back at least $2,000 a month in rent, and that's not counting living expenses.

>>83201658
You still gotta have game, man, only the cool kids get that sort of action.

>>83201631
What the hell kind of school did you go too?

>>83201147

i kinda get how you feel anon
ive always had really bad issues being present in reality, from childhood until now. i literally have no interest in occupying my own existence and life, and would much rather spend days just dreaming about, drawing, and writing stories. its been a major cause of depression my whole life

its kind of why i decided to do the next best thing and just make those things a reality and go to animation school

>>83201772
Apparently he just thought they were a bunch of assholes who deserved to be taken down a notch. After spending the last three years watching them cheat and lie, I don't blame him.

>>83201631
Reminds me of my high school. Facebook was already a thing, someone created a fake profile and kept posting salacious stories about teachers and students, really nasty stuff that was mostly proven real. Since I was also average, I didn't get mentioned more than twice for generally inocuous stuff like never going to parties and stuff and not having known hookups, but for the big leagues stuff got real messy.

It was someone entreched in our classroom, but we never found out who did it. The account was shut down after like a week, but it inspired followers. By the end of the year pretty much all school year classes had their own wildfire spreader.

>>83201805
Inner city school, just at the start of the cell phone era. A motorola razr completely loaded with nudes was instrumental to his takeover plans.

>>83201818
This is a bit off-topic, but do you happen to daydream almost constantly? Your description fits me too well. Sometimes I forget how shitty things are when I'm so far gone

I hope you the best in animation school

>>83201800
>an anon on /co/ is talking about me
Why does it always that everybody in the world but me isn't practically autistic? Did I fail to attend some secret, pre-kindergarten lecture about how to be a social butterfly?

>>83201982
yes

>>83201496
I used to think 'canadians' and 'cannibals' were the same thing.
Luckily I didn't know any Canadians or I would've been scared shitless.

>>83201968

pretty much. aside from working and stuff, most of my time is spent just daydreaming and creating. it's pretty great to just get lost, but sometimes it scares me, because i feel like nothing in my life will ever make me as happy as the stories i escape to, you know?

thanks, anon. that really means a lot.

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>>83201032
I forgot my pic and only caught it 40 minutes later.

>>83201568
>>83201496

What cartoons are you people watching?

>schools were separated into clicks and categories like "jocks" and "cheerleaders" and "nerds"

Boy, this one was a lie. When I was growing up, jocks and nerds hung out together, Cheerleaders were generally likable, the high grade students were sociable, etc. The problem came from faction wars. We'd have disputes with other grades (the seniors in particular were assholes back when I was a junior). We had wars over ideals and political affiliations, we even had fights just because of it. My high school, at its best, was a warzone. At its worst, it was a slaughterhouse.

You don't know stress until the quiet fat kid in the class, who you consider a friend and is generally popular in sports, suddenly snaps and throws a chair across the room.

>>83197115
>I was pretty on the ball as a kid. I worked sex out at a young age.
I didn't really know how it worked until 13.

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>>83198006
OH


MY GOD

>>83195641
that with common house hold items, you can make a robot/flying machine/time machine/ect
luckily I never had enough boxes as a kid to make something dumb enough to get myself hurt

Thought people could change.

>>83202776

My first exposure to porn was a scrambled channel. I had no idea what was going on, I just knew people were naked and their crotches were touching, but for a long time, since I never got an unscrambled look at it, my image of a vagina looked like was very close to the king of fungus from the super mario bros movie, which moved and pulsated in the same way. I still felt aroused by this

Not cartoon related, but I had no idea what foreskin was or until 15 or 16. My family isn't Jewish, but I was still circumcised as an infant and as I was not one to focus on dicks in either real life or porn, I never knew that there was supposed to be extra skin there until I was outright told that I was missing part of my penis.

>>83202811
Why did you blur out the IDs?

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>>83199635
>used to get bullied every day by this one kid when I was little
>one day he pushes me on the ground and keeps pushing me back down as I keep getting back up
>his friends are all standing in a circle around us laughing
>I bolt up and punch him square in the nose as hard as I can, blood erupts out of his nose
>his friends are completely silent just watching
>I'm just angrily grunting as I keep punching him while he cries and his friends watch
>they all just quietly walk away with him blubbering when I'm done kicking his ass

>my fucking face when my teacher gave me a week's detention and forced me to write a letter of apology

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Cats drink Milk. I only JUST fucking learned that many cats are lactose intolerant.

Cartoons and 80s movies made me think punks were jocks with a fashion sense.

Turns out punks a more likely to adhere to the non-aggression principle except when attempting to smash the state. But with welfare and minimum wage laws no one is really that keen.

>>83203103
Not my first experience but finding porn on a scrambled channel for the first time was certainly an experience.

also
>Good things come to those who wait
so I waited and waited, expecting life to fall into my lap. All waiting ever did for me was make me socially-inexperienced.

>>83203263
I keep forgetting that fact.

>>83195901
When I was a kid and "misbehaved" (read: did nothing) my parents would force me to eat raw carrots. I was super young so it was incredibly difficult to chew through them but they wouldnt let me leave until it was finished.
I hate carrots now but I don't think that's related.

>>83203352
>I hate carrots now but I don't think that's related.

I think it is. My parents used to punish me for saying bad words (or just insulting people) by putting hot sauce on my tongue, and now I cant stand spicy food.

>>83203255
I bet he didn't pull shit with you ever again though.

>>83203471
Nope, he literally stopped bullying anyone and tried to be my friend

>>83203263
There is a milk substitute that's okay to let cats drink. It's like formula; replacing their mother's milk.

>>83203352
That's a classic Pavlovian response anon. Pretty clear relation.

>>83195901
Fun Fact: Mel Blanc hated Carrots but nothing he tried sounded like a carrot being eaten, so he chewed carrots when voicing Bugs and spit them in a bag nearby.

Also Carrots are awesome, you and Mel have some crappy taste.

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>>83197845
>>83198277
I maced a kid in my class with pic related once. He couldn't see for like twenty minutes afterward. And I got off scott free.

>>83203263

They still fucking love it, they'll just shit liquid shortly after

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>>83195641
>If a girl says that she wants to just be friends, she really doesn't want to see or talk to you again.
I take it these guys are just friends with bitches.

>>83203255
A Christmas Story

>>83197979
>>83198788
>>83199581
i don't know whether it is a good or bad feel that my school never had any of that shit. completely boring and everything on constant watch.
of course shit like that happened out of school, i was just never a part ;-;

>>83203757
C
U
C
K

>>83195641
you dont see jazzmen around? i still see jazzmen around dude
fuck the other year i genuinely heard a fucker say, unironically, that it aint easy bein cheesy

>>83203826
Moral of the story: bully away kids, because if they get fed up of you being a cunt and beat you up they will get in trouble

>>83200388
in fact it's so 'everyone knows' that i wouldnt be surprised if it turned out to be bullshit
>>83195901
you know, mel blanc hated them. he had a spit bucket in the studio

>>83199581
How does accidental dry-humping happen

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>>83203955
?

>>83203757
well yeah, "still be friends" is just the nice way to say "stop trying creep". When kids in puberty ask girls to be their girlfriends, it's usually on one way physical attraction alone
>>83204017
I can't wait for "7 things you thought were bullshit (that are actually bullshit)" articles if they aren't already a thing

>>83203263
Also, rabbits eating carrots is ENTIRELY drawn from Bugs Bunny, who only ate a carrot because it was a parody of the movie It Happened One Night.

>kids roaming the neighborhood
Never, ever happened were I live.

Unfortunately, my homes were always white trash pigsties growing up (meaning I was never allowed nor wanted to have friends over), and I was too socially-inept to get invitations to things outside of school. I basically just played video games by myself my whole childhood, except for the rare times I might play with my younger cousins or maybe the kid of someone my mom knew if I was really lucky.

I'm 22 now and nothing has really changed.

>>83200442
I learned a lot about female anatomy at a young age from x-Ray shots in porn comics.
That's how I found out what cervices are

>>83203955
I've seen them sitting in fold out chairs playing for tips.

But I have never seen them playing in the dead of night for no reason as if it was part of some kind of werewolf transformation.

>>83204136
It's not always "I like the attention but I think you're a creep". Sometimes it's "I really care about you but if we date and it doesn't work out, then that'll destroy what we already have".

I also see a lot of cartoons where the guy tries to go out with his female friend. That shit drives me up the wall. In-dating ruined a ton of cliques for me in school.

That combined with all the fucking affairs and divorces going on in my family has turned me off from wanting to be in a relationship completely.

>>83195641
>bart, you do know what happens when you mix acids and bases
>classroom explodes

I thought that it was really easy to get an apartment in a big city with roof access that only you use for whatever reason.

Same with beach houses.

Actually, I guess I just generally didn't realize how much location factors into property values.

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I live in based Texas, working in the oil industry so we get people from all over coming here, specifically Houston, for work.
About a week before I left my previous job a customer came in fucking baffled by the fact What-a-burger is a real fast food chain and not just something King of the Hill made up.
>mfw he asked if we had Mega-lo Marts here too.

And yes, out-of-staters, Houstonians drive fast. We have places to be, stop fucking telling us, we got it.

>>83199581
What the hell does double road mean?

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Skateboarding is super easy, once you get it kick started moving forward, it's basically a thought powered transport that will always turn in whatever direction you want to go, and only lose speed when you will it to.

>>83204158

Hahaha, what? I've watched plenty of rabbits absolutely devour carrots. Baby carrots, sure, but carrots nonetheless.

>>83205098
Seriously, fuck skateboarding.

>>83205101
Rabbits will eat anything you put in front of them.

>>83205020
Probably tits and pussy.

>>83204158
It's definitely been blown out of proportion, but rabbits do tend to actually really like carrots since they're sweet and full of sugar.
They're like candy for them, so obviously it's not something they ever bother digging for in the wild, but they'll love them as an occasional treat.

>>83200873
>There are plenty of fucked up cool things that happen in real life schools that could fit into a cartoon

To name two from my childhood:

>first grade kid that swiped $20 from the teacher's purse
>middle school teacher who'd be constantly rubbing his crotch and take frequent bathroom trips in the middle of class

>>83202811
whats with the blur

>>83203247
>>83205831
He's trying to make it look like the bottom two comments are replies to the top one.

>>83195901
Wrong

>>83203103
I'd see in anatomy books stuff like "During intercourse, the penis is inserted in...." but I couldn't mentally piece it together when I was like 8 years old. I wasn't even exactly sure what part of the body the vagina was.

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Cuz of this guy, I thought I was supposed to eat 48-60 eggs every morning to get fit. I even got annoyed at Mom for not cooking breakfast every single day. Got even more annoyed that I could only eat two or three eggs.

>>83203103
Used to watch a lot of Skinemax, so I thought I just had to get her naked and grope and pelvic thrust into her enough times to make a baby. I didn't know about the penis entering the vagina for a long time.

Also, Look Who's Talking was how I knew what it all looked like.

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>>83196067
>tfw it's literally the only show me and my dad bond over

>>83203757
>>83204136
yeah "Lets just be friends" is polite for "please stop trying to fuck me its creepy and i dont like it"
because really if you just became friends with her to get in her pants your the asshole here, also fuck people who drop others like bricks once sex is off the table, good to know the relationship was just a reason to see a persons genitals

>>83206324
how funny this is is directly impacted weather you are physically male or female

>>83197550
Exactly what me and my bro did

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>>83197730

iktf

>>83196406
>Keeping Baboons is a common practice.
>So is eating the skin of pigs faces.

Lived in Pennsylvania. No baboons, but they LOVE them some hog jowls, which are exactly as you describe.

>>83203263
90% of asians are lactose intolerant as well. It seems like the ability to drink milk straight from the udder is a white exclusive gene.

>>83205271
It's like mice and cheese. They don't like it specifically, it's just that it's traditionally stored in dark basements and smells like a mofo so it was really easy for them to find and eat.

>>83207825
Food was generally scarcer in cold areas of Europe, so Europeans evolved to be able to drink milk after infancy. The norm for most of the world is being lactose intolerant.

>>83207186
vagina detected

>>83207186
Female detected, I bet you think "ghosting" is childish or something.

>>83208691
>>83208783
HA, dumbasses detected
ill post my dick if it helps you though

maybe one day you'll get a girlfriend thinking like that though, im sure she wont resent the hell out of you and leve you cause you have no idea how to treat other people

I used to think that imagination was this all-powerful force that, if you believed in it enough, could eventually make you strong and wise and just outright bend reality. Clearly my child self just wasn't putting in enough effort.

I also thought school lockers would be a really cool place to have deep conversations with my friends. Instead they were just a massive inconvenience because chances were that your locker was assigned on the other side of the school from all your classes, and it was just easier to carry your books in a backpack all day.

>>83198123
Instead of clean towels and lounge sofas in our perfumed restrooms, all we got was snot and period blood smeared on the floors and toilet seats, accompanied by the faint but ever-present aroma of shit and menses.

>>83197861
Do you have jellybeans for teeth?

>>83198021

Lots of wannabe musicians in Burbank.

They almost all suck.

>>83200486
Same here

>>83195641
Dunno about you, but now I want that to be common and socially acceptable.

>>83207186
Friends with benefits are a thing.

>>83200644
Thanks, American documentary producer.

>>83197847
Counter earth? That was an old Greek astronomical hypothesis.

>>83197372
I always find it funny when people realise that narwhals are real.
Some people think they are fictional for an astonishing long time.

>>83208691
>>83208783
So you're saying that there is no point in befriending a woman other than sex? And if sex is off the table you should stop being pretend-friends with her?

>>83195641
I thought that if you're arrested you have the right to one phone call, but movie's said that too

>>83197115
I thought reindeer were fictional because they were associated with Santa and whatnot

>>83209429
>So you're saying that there is no point in befriending a woman other than sex?

Yes. Women fucking suck. Nobody likes women. Women don't even like women!

>>83209620
Go back to /r9k/

>>83197115
>I worked sex out at a young age.

I'm not sure why, but the kanker sisters and the Snu Snu amazons had me convinced that sex was very great for the woman, but very painful for the man. Like I had no idea how sex worked, but I knew men were attacked by women and forced into it.

I guess that's why I'm into femdom now

>>83195641
Man, I wish Jazz Men playing saxophones at night was a thing. The neighbors always get so pissed when I try to do it.

Curtains went on spontaneous combustion very often in the fifties.

I didn't get that in that Pluto cartoon the fault was of the old style camera of the kind that requires an ashtray to have a working flash.

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>>83209726

Every city in the world has some eccentric asshole. Mine used to have a wizard

>>83197461
We are

>>83209852

All Scots are thin little manlets

>>83209885
You've just made an enemy for life.

>>83197372
I grew up thinking it was narwhales. For a whale type.

Blew my mind as a teen to realise they were narwhals the entire time.

>>83197974
Same genus brassus trumpetus are attacked by ...idk whatever this thing is.

https://youtu.be/9E62iA6KCIQ

>>83209779
>cartoon from the 50's makes you think it's still the 50's
that doesn't count

>>83209990
You got it wrong.

I saw the scene, didn't get why the fire started, asked an explanation at mom, misheard the explanation, so I got that curtains catching fire with no reason was once a very common thing.

>>83195705
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinach#In_popular_culture

>The comics and cartoon character Popeye the Sailor Man has been portrayed since 1931 as having a strong affinity for spinach, becoming physically stronger after consuming it. The commonly accepted version of events states this portrayal was based on faulty calculations of the iron content. In this version, German scientist Emil von Wolff misplaced a decimal point in an 1870 measurement of spinach's iron content, leading to an iron value ten times higher than it should have been, and this faulty measurement was not noticed until the 1930s. This caused the popular misconception that spinach is exceedingly high in iron that makes the body stronger.

>>83197730
wow either your friends are fuckin trash or you've got so many problems they just can't shoulder the burden

>>83209885
"thin and Little" not with the deep-fried lifestyle we got going on the West Coast of Scotland.

And before you ask, a deep fried mars bar is actually yummy

>>83199581
>tfw went to an all boys school and did nothing outside of school

>>83209685
Dude he's right about women hating women though. My female friends are always bitching about other women whenever they get a chance, they really fucking despise each other by default and it takes some major work on their part for a real bond to form that isn't backed by some ulterior motive or just flat out false intentioned.

Glad I'm a guy and don't have to put up with that backstabbing shit from them. They don't see me as competition I guess.

>>83209906
THOSE DAMN SCOTS

THEY RUINED SCOTLAND

I used to think places like London and Paris were 100% white.

>tea and crumpets are a common british snack food
>all french men has moustaches striped shirts
>animals can all talk to each other, we just can't understand them
>all scottish men wore kilts and carried arround bagpipes
>saying things like "what's the worst that can happen" will cause the universe to shit on you
>Playing the drums is easy
>atlantis is real
>native americans are literally red

>>83209852
Wo/Manlets.

Cute ones tho.

>>83199481
You must be drinking some very shit beer m8

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>>83200461
Classic

>>83195641
I always thought lungs were like big balloons as you see in cartoons all the time, only found out them at they're actually bug spongey things like a month ago.

>>83198053
Dude me and my friends even started our own Secret KND club in like 4th grade. We gave each other numbers and used coded messages to communicate.

I think we all secretly hoped that the real KND would see our efforts and recruit us.

(Spoiler)They didn't(/spoiler)

>>83204158
Nah, I have rabbits. They love carrots. But they can't have that many because it's way too sugary for their natural diet, so they can have like a baby carrot a day.

>>83211000
>>tea and crumpets are a common british snack food
At almost every point in time people here have either tea or coffee to be consumed and people do often eat crumpets, just not as often as you would've been lead to believe.

>>83211233
No such thing as a non shitty beer

>>83211757
oh cool

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>>83198123
I cannot count the number of times I went to the washroom in middle school to find menstrual blood smeared on the walls. I hope it was at least the same person doing it every time

>>83198852
>>ANYONE likes nerds
nobody does this outside of BBT.

>>83198852
You only failed because you're a self loathing nerd with a victim complex, anon

I should know

>>83212172
but why would they do it

>>83198123
This is true of a rock bar near me

The guys toilet is hell on earth, graffiti and stickers everywhere, reeks of piss but the girls is pristine and full of air fresheners

>>83212648
why not?

>Women faint all the time

This isn't so much cartoons as kids films though, mostly Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and George of the Jungle

>>83212648
I always thought it was fun getting my blood on the walls, making it look a little like a battle had taken place or something. Then again my favorite movie as a kid was Terminator and I wanted Arnold to be my boyfriend so I guess I wasn't very well adjusted back in school.

Still, not as bad as that girl that smeared shit on the handles.

Gangs consist of equal parts white, black and hispanic guys.

>>83201568
dude same

>>83199481
I can't stand Beer. I've tried so many different brands, I can drink down some salted and lime Carona if I have to though.
Usually I just drink some shitty mix my buddies got out. Usually it is orange juice and some other cheap shit. If we're lucky someone brought some lean.

>>83197365

You really needed to watch more PBS. In fact, you should probably be watching The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That! right now instead of posting on 4chan.

>>83210040
Placebo the Sailor.

>>83198771
>superior sights

It was British propaganda aimed to cover up the existence of radar

Up until about the age of 6 I honestly thought that the world was in black and white between the years of 1900 and 1960.

>>83214539
Your father is such a Joker Calvin...

>>83197115
+1 for Burt and Tom

>>83195641
I thought Americans always wore shoes within their homes.

>>83214767
I thought everyone wore shoes in there homes. I sure did. People on cartoons did. This went onto about 14.

>>83214767
I did for the longest time simply because it was more convenient.

Now I just wear socks all the time and don't go out as much

>>83195901
t.Matt Murdock

>>83214767
Older people still do.
I have no idea why.

>>83214767
you're telling me that you're supposed to take off your shoes in the house? I thought that only Japanese did that.

>>83214793
>>83214813
>>83215039
>>83215597
I just wear flip-flops in my house, the convenience of shoes but they never go outside so no dirt

>>83203255
Something like this happened to me.

>>83195901
I like carrots but they are essentially flavorless I just eat them when I get hungry for a snack since they are very low in calories.

I don't remember what cartoon was it, but I believed you could move things with your mind if you really put effort into it.

Other than that I just believed stupid stuff my older sister told me, like when she told me I shouldnt look at the horizon on the beach because it was hypnotic and would make me walk into the sea and drown. Oh, I also believed some kind of apocalypse would come in my lifetime, but that's because of movies.

>>83197974
Does he not even know the whole song?

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>>83203255
>this fucking kid would always sit behind me on geometry class and bully me everyday
>everybody else thinks it was so funny, the teacher didn't give a shit
>too afraid to do anything
>one day he starts spiting down my neck and hitting me in the back
>I have one of these in my hand
>fucking snap
>turn around and stab his leg with the needle all the way in
>He starts screaming like a hyena and the teacher finally sends him out of the classroom

Got in trouble but I never got bullied ever again.

You manchildren are retarded.

>>83214539
Isn't that the plot of The Giver?

>>83209543
They don't even have to read you your Miranda rights until they question you. The whole plot to the 21 Jump Street remake was a lie.

>>83214767
I wear my shoes a lot in doors, but that's mostly because I live with the worst kinds of slobs that never clean up after themselves and vacuum every two months at best, and the idea of walking on that crispy crumbly ( and smooth and sticky in some spots ) carpet makes me cringe.

>>83208783
Ghosting is the most fucking retarded, beta thing anyone could possibly ever do. Yes, it's fucking childish, you child.

>>83216502
>Oh, I also believed some kind of apocalypse would come in my lifetime, but that's because of movies.

At least you finally woke up to that fact.

My brother pops a boner every time some doomsday sayer gains enough attention in the news.

>>83215597
It varies. It's quite an interesting look at American culture when you get right down into it.

For homes:

If someone is staying over for a while, the shoes come off.
If there's rain/mud/snow outside, the shoes come off.
Unless you know the person well, the shoes don't come off until you're told- it comes off as imposing.
Socks are the limit for guests, even if normally they go barefoot in their own houses.

>>83198308
>muster up the courage and she'll say yes
It always worked for me when I was a teen and middle-schooler, and I was pretty nerdy.

>>83214767
well they do. americans don't live on the floor so there's no motivation to keep it clean. also cowboy boots are hard to take off, pond-tenders wear sandals.
>>83214793
anime characters don't, haven't you seen sailor moon.

>>83195641
Friends.

Everyone in cartoons had so many friends. Even the people who were designed to be losers had like at least two friends.

>>83198123
>asked to clean the women's bathroom at work
>"Why are they asking me to do it? Shouldn't they ask a girl?"
>go inside
>there's shit smeared all over the walls. literal shit

The myth died that day.

>>83217738
Same. I had to clean the bathrooms at work and the first thing I noticed was the ungodly smell.

>>83216883
>Make fun of a big kid who got held back for getting an answer wrong in class because I was a horrible little shit
>Kid says he'll push my shit in after class
>Meet kid after class and sincerely apologize
>Invite him over to play Tony Hawk 2
>Best friends for years until I move from the town
My bully story sucks...

I thought 20% of the world was Jewish. So many cartoons had Jewish characters/obligatory Hannukah episodes that I was convinced it was super common.

>>83217633
But that is common anon, you're the one who's an anomaly.

>>83214767
In the South, we would say "kick off your shoes and stay awhile" if you were an invited guest and we wanted you to feel at home.

>>83195641
I thought kids that suddenly didn't come to school anymore were turned into lunch

Thanks Simpsons

>>83198372
But this was 100% true for me. High school was shit, university was the best time in my life.

>>83201147
>tfw legitimate painful heartbreak at knowing you can't have a digimon
>for months

>>83218616
>he didn't have a V-pet

>>83218103
>>83217598
>>83217541
>>83217398
>>83215597
This is really interesting. Where I'm from, we generally don't wear shoes in the house, and definitely not when we're guests. That said, we have a culture of sweeping more than once everyday, my family has a maid to do that.

>>83209429
>So you're saying that there is no point in befriending a woman other than sex? And if sex is off the table you should stop being pretend-friends with her?

I don't think I have a right to a woman's attraction; likewise, nobody has a right to my friendship, no matter how nice people are to each other. Unrequited attraction sucks, and I wish everyone could be more grown up about it and not pin blame on either party.

>Permenant Records

>>83217568
Didnt for me

>you cant do cartoon physics

>>83209713
are you me?

>>83214767
it really depends on the person and household

personally I'm barefoot literally all the time, even outdoors, unless I have to go somewhere

>>83216991
>manchildren
>children
nigga almost every one of these stories are instances of kids who have barely started going to school

>>83218712
I just wanted a gabumon to hang out with :(

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>>83197515
>so I thought my best friend was black, even though he was completely white

>>83203255
>bullied by a kid at summer camp
>because I was a good boy, and watched all the tv shows that said not to fight back because that just led to more violence but instead to tell an adult, I went to the camp counselors for help
>they'd admonish him, but it would amount to nothing. He'd just bully me worse afterwards, knowing they wouldn't do anything worse to him
>eventually, after I continued to tell adults what was happening, I got a reputation from the counselors as the "complainer" who "whined all the time"
>finally, after the bully stole some things from my dresser, I lost it
>I grabbed my blanket and tossed it over his head so he couldn't see
>then I shoved him to the ground and punched him in the head over and over
>he got up and punched me back. It hurt a lot
>got into huge trouble with the camp director. She called my parents and warned that if it ever happened again I would be sent home
>but the bully never bothered me again for the rest of camp

I learned an important lesson that summer

>>83217831
Actually, that's one of the best ones I've read.

>>83200966
I remember seeing it on news and reality shows as a kid thinking that the cameras had built in sensors to block out dicks and bleep out curse words as soon as they were said.

>>83201032
One time as a kid I found a manhole with the cover on. I remember finding it with my friend near a park and looking down a small hole wondering if I was going to see the Ninja Turtles walk by.

>After Toy Story I thought it makes sense that toys are alive, that they come alive when you don't see them
>Thought about putting a video camera on a pile of action figures I owned and they would just start walking around after I left the room

As a kid I thought all movies were filmed in chronological order and on a movie set they would have only 1 camera so they would record a character, pack up, and move the the next area to shoot the very next scene.

>>83201790
to be fair, the apartment in Mission Hill was shared by three people with three incomes, one of which being vice president of a company or something

but yea, unrealistic expectations nonetheless.

Cartoons made me believe that dropping a tear on a toy would make it come to life.

it didnt work

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>>83201032
>No phantom of the opera style sewer lair to romp around and have fun with animal friends

>>83201032
>>83222688
Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems that the "cavern-sized sewer" trope is born from old medieval sewerlines, and which I think very old European cities like Paris still have.

All retail store managers are assholes.

My manager is the nicest guy ever and actually cares about how we're doing. Supervisors on the other hand are complete dicks

>>83198221
>Brussels sprouts are disgusting
Brussels sprouts are actually fucking amazing if you prepare them right

>>83206768
Eating 35 eggs a day has the same effect on steroids, so he's not wrong

>>83200889
>>83197115
I confuse Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg sometimes.

>>83221285
But it's true.

Everybody can make friends, I was so wrong.

>>83223053
We all do, anon.

That there is more tonthis world than meets the eye, One day I'll be called upon in a fight a battle good and evil, that there's an afterlife, That magics real, that aliens would abduct me, I could get laid. E.T..C
Looking back I was a ignorant little bastard

>>83203663

Wasn't he allergic?

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>good-looking popular football playing jock guys pick on nerds

I'll take things that have literally never happened for 1000, Alex.

Oh shit it's the daily double.

>mfw every kid that ever picked on me was ugly as sin, fat, or scrawny
>mfw pathetic friendless dorks were the bane of my existence and a straight up coke bottle glasses and snaggletoothed as fuck kid was who gave me shit for the longest fucking time
>mfw football players turned out to be pretty chill