How Do We Fix Spider Woman?

>>82798665
nsfw run

>>82798665
>we
Unless you're a Marvel higher-up speaking directly to the readers on a Pakistanian typo-correcting newsletter, there's jack fuck "we" can do.

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>>82798989
>Taking it "we" literally

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>>82798665
Throw her in space. Seriously. Carol is working for SHIELD and like her besty and she has issues with SKRULLS and being a triple agent. Have her go into space and deal with some secret Skrull terroist cell around the galaxy

She'll get into crazy adventures and do her own thing without worrying about Avenger shit and get to occasionally team up with Carol.

Plus she can get a new costume that's all space techy to justify a wardrobe change.

>>82798665
let DC run it for a year then take it back and do the exact opposite.

>>82798665
A bullet.
I'm not even your typical edgeposter (I like a lot of Marvel's "SJW" shit FFS) but she's fucking pointless.

>>82798665
Have her be a super celebrity talk-show host and hand the reigns of 'Spider-Woman" over to ultimate Jessica Drew

616-8's backstory is just too fucked up
So fucked up that tranny clone is simple in comparison

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I think she's getting enough attention, she has a series that doesn't really seem like its going to get cancelled.

Although an MCU appearance would boost her sales.

>>82799403
>ultimate Jessica Drew
But Anon, them bringing her back would be a good thing, so modern Marvel's never gonna do that. Silly Anon.

>>82799479
Practically a MCU revival is the only thing that could do it at this point. Maybe focus on the HYDRA assassin thing

>>82799509
oh year. I forgot that only Miles made it over due to being Bendis' pet boy and Maker because reasons.
I mean, it's not like the Reeds + Molecule man were recreating the multiverse anyway and could have done 1610 in a jiffy

>>82799594
she could be a foe to MCU Spider-Man, and Pete could get sexually frustrated every time he fights her,

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>>82798989
>a Pakistanian typo-correcting newsletter
One of the better ones

She can fly and shoot lasers right? Why is she called Spider Woman again?

>>82803936
Because marvel wanted the name before dc could get it

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>>82798665
More Peter team ups.

>>82798665
Take her out of the costume. Make her Jessica Drew private investigator again. Have her run into the weird and macabre like her original run. Put her back in San Francisco or even London (remember, Jessica is English). Take advantage of her weirdly large number of personal connections to the various corners of the the Marvel U to keep recognizable faces popping up.

If you need a Spider-Woman, bring Julia Carpenter back.

Look: Old mask back & several uniforms as mortal spies/agents/heroes need gear.

Role:
Prefered: Carol's BFF and, hopefully the one to stop Carol from her current path in the comics of being the total b**** shes becoming. If this means Carol is running Sword (it's not Alpha Flight) that means Jessica is with her or running ops for her (looking for aliens already on earth or battling in Space). Simply put Cap has Falcon, Carol should have Jessica. Jessica fills the crafty role Carol lacks. Sword can babysit her kid

Alternatively: Spy or Special Forces role working with Nick Fury or Black Widow to help save the world. Jessica fills the muscle role Black Widow and Nick Fury lack while they further her training in going from great spy to the best of the best. Shield babysits her kid

In either case they should be prepping her for an MCU role and Netflix already has a P.I. named Jessica. Her current run, as fun as it is at times, does Jessica Drew a disservice.

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>>82798665
Assassinate Dennis Hopeless. Everything else falls into place afterward.

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>>82798665
Lesbians in space, starring Jess and Carol.

srsly tho: one of Carol's big problems is that she's a bitch who doesn't understand emotions, least of all her own. And she's well on the way to becoming a completely inhuman killing machine -- doesn't need to breathe, may or may not actually need to sleep and eat; spends all her time fighting; has a life so bizarre she's almost totally removed from "normal" life.
Jessica's the answer. For all her problems Jessica understands people. Carol needs the anchor or she'll turn into Injustice Superman with ovaries.

Carol and Jess need each other. Jess needs Carol's strength and reliability. Carol's needs Jess's humanity.

>>82798665
You cant or should really. Spider-man has unique powers, its not fire or super strength. I've always felt it super cheap to have so many people share his powers, dilutes how special they are

>>82798665
Knock her up again.

It felt nice to actually be pandered to for once.

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Sure why not

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>>82805434
This. I hope Carol asks Jessica to live in the SWORD space station with her after Marvel stops pretending that Carol and Rhodey have a relationship.

>>82798665

WHO?

>>82799509
I loved Ultimate Jessica Drew...

I honestly love her new costume. It works with her being less super hero more super spy or super for hire. I just hate how when she first got it they also shrunk her assets down.
One of the things jess is noticed for are her curves, it was lame to diminish them like they're something to be ashamed of

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>>82798665
Have an entire issue be about Jess getting buttfucked.
Doesn't matter by who, just have the issue be her pheromones driving a guy crazy and her slams her against a desk or table and begins railing her up the ass as hard as possible, slapping her jiggling ass at regular intervals to make her cry out as she struggled and fails to not have hard orgasms from it as she reflexively milks his cock by rythmycally squeezing the dick in time with his thrusts as she begs for mercy even as she uncontrollably cums her brains out over and over.
Then Carol flies in, sees what's going on, and then grabs Jess's wrists and holds her down as she verbally eggs on the man to dump his cum into her best friend's slutty asshole

Combine aspects of the Ultimate iteration with her 616 iteration.

Make her a clone of Peter, which similar but different powers due to the cloning process. Have her be Spidey's version of the Winter Soldier.

Then Spider-Man saves her, and the rest of the series is about her struggling to live a normal life. Sort of like what Silk is doing now.

Make her twice as pregnant

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>>82806309
we can only wait, and hope, anon.

well, we can also spam Marvel HQ with demands for it to happen.

>I may be a little too into this ship

Get rid of her so we can use the artistic talents wasted on her comics on literally anyone else.

>>82805613
I could live with that as long as Carol does the impregnating this time

>>82806810
thanks for the storytime, anon

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>>82806988
You welcome anon

>>82798665
Take her back to her roots dealing with magic and HYDRA spy shit in Europe.

>>82803936
Originally it wasn't flying. It was limited gliding helped by the little wings on her costume. The venom blast wasn't a laser either, it was exactly what it's called. A blast of venom that poisons people it hits, with her able to make it knock them out or have it be strong enough to kill. It explicitly didn't work on inanimate objects or robots, and I think at least once it was worthless against someone who was immune to poison. Unfortunately many writers don't pay attention to details like that. They also forgot that she's a natural blonde who dyed her hair black, and usually had short hair with a longer wig as part of the mask.

>>82798665
get her pregnant again

Change her powers so her name makes sense

How to fix her: go back to her Agent of Sword/BFF with Carol being a bloody superhero/agent/spy

Hoe to ruin her further: make her pregnant again. Listen to the 'Tumblr' crowd and make her go lesbian with carol. Keep her as Marvels other P.I./mother/street level hero named Jessica.

>>82804075
>>82803936
Marvel wanted the name before CBS actually
CBS was going to introduce a "spider-woman" on the Hulk series and marvel beat them to the punch

>>82798665
Turn her into a man for a while. Let her deal with the shit that it brings.

Get rid of her.

And all the other doubles/triples etc of every other hero.

2 Spider-Men
2 Hulks
2 Captain Americas
2 Wolverines

When does this shit stop?

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Make her May Jessica Parker (née Drew)

>>82809065
Three Spider-Man. Why does no one remember Miguel when he's the best of the three?

>>82809121
.....huh. pretty clever idea, actually.....

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The end thanks for reading

>>82809121
Well, that explains an English Peter, then.
Also:
>Aunt May can never know
>Peter can never know

>>82809387
You are forgetting the Web Warriors.
They come with another three.

>>82806309
When exactly did they build this relationship up? I don't remember it, but that could be my ignorance.

>>82809487
They aren't based in 616, so they don't count.

Wait, would Marvel actually put her in a Captain Marvel movie?

>>82799509
Maybe. They're going Clone Saga 2.0 this year.

>>82809870
No, that's why everyone thinks its shit.

>>82810110
Maybe not her first film, but depending on the angle they work with Carol it wouldn't be hard to work her in the sequel.

>>82810454
So they just decided two characters are going to bang for (reasons).

Wonderful.

>>82810527
They're both Air Force. That's about all the thought KSD put into it.

>>82810454
You could have Carol ripping on Jessica for stealing Spider Man's shtick

>>82810592
>>82810527
It wouldn't have been too hard for her to retcon a deployment hook up or something either.

>>82810594
>Carol, what the fuck is a Spider-Man?
>Don't tell me you haven't seen the youtube videos, he's that guy swinging around Manhattan stopping crimes.
>Wait, the dude in the onesie? That's totally CGI.
>He's real and it's not a onesie; more of a zentai.
>Is that a sex thing?

>>82811537
>It wouldn't have been too hard for her to retcon a deployment hook up or something either.
Well that would require talent.

>>82809171
>>82809193
Even Bendis realizes nobody cares about his waifu. Kinda sad.

>>82812096
Retconning a past relationship is pretty much one step below what KSD did.

>>82811537
>Comes out in red costume
>"Well? What do you think?"
>"I think Spider Man is gonna sue somebody"

>>82812266
Nah, I'd rather a writer try and at least explain their shit.

>>82812352
The best option as is would be to make it explicitly a sudden hookup. Like they start trading stories from their time in the AF over beers, which turns into dinner, which ends with a kiss because why the fuck not and they're a few drinks in, which turns into a makeout session, which ends with dinner plans for Thursday at 7.

>>82798665
that partial face mask is so much better than just the goggles.

>>82812687
The new costume is an exercise in minor details that kill the design.

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>>82805434
Pretty much this. I'm not as sure Carol needs her, but this is where Jess would work best.

>>82813621
Carol is a violent authoritarian with questionable morality, Jess is a 12 year old girl in the body of a thirty year old woman

>>82813683
Hot.

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>>82806969
Jessica's pheromone power should always manifest as her talking in a "spooky" voice.

>>82813854
Yeah, going by their history Carol and Jess' relationship would be all sorts of fucked up. Everything Is Marvelous nailed that aspect.

>>82806757
>yfw she didn't knew it wasn't peter

>>82808303
love this scene. not enough writers take advantage of her fear powers

>>82809870
they just have Rhodey make out with whatever adult woman he's working with at the time. He's macked on Jane Thorster too

>>82806986
>And when I do it...
>It feels a little like peeing

Goddamn you, Bendis.

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>>82814096
a pity Illuminated Comics is on hiatus

>>82799399
The fucked up thing is, she is.
There's three things to her worth mentioning now.
>Carol's best friend (who used to be Wanda)
>Single mother (Julia Carpenter)
>Female Spider-character (Silk, Spider-Gwen, Julia Carpenter again)

>>82814706
That's Sam.

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>>82809262
>>82809276
[shipping intensifies]

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>>82814836
I'd argue there's still some mileage to be gotten from her Hydra origins, especially since between her mind control pheremones and sith lord zaps she has a villainous powerset.

You could do a whole thing where Carol is the muscle and Jessica is the super spy, and emphasize how both have a pretty fucked up moral compass that are really only on the side of heroes because they wanna be on the right side of history plus heroes are less likely to back stab them.

>>82814846
oh shit, now I'm the racist

>>82808345
Half of the people who want her and Carol to be lesbians don't want it out of shipping, but more because we want fucking SOMETHING INTERESTING to happen with them.

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this page would look significantly better if not for the lips

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>>82815038
see?

>>82811537
>It wouldn't have been too hard for her to retcon a deployment hook up or something either.
You're right, it wouldn't. But they didn't. KSD started her second volume with them suddenly dating.

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>>82815001

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>>82815123
Carol is very touchy

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I'm only mostly sure this is Jessica, it's been a while since I read it

She can only use webs in the ultimate universe right?

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>>82815298
yeah, that version is a clone of Peter and has all his powers.

if it helps, just think of 616 Jessica as a leaping spider that got power creep'd

>>82798665
Give her her tits back.

>>82804427

She's in San Fransisco now in her current series. It's actually pretty good and way better than Silk or Spider-Gwen.

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but Peeeteeer, I wanna murder

>>82806309

Why is BP acting like a child?

>>82815402
He just hates race mixing.

>>82806600

You did this in a Spider-Man thread but with Mary Jane.

Anal and rhythmic squeezing and all.

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>>82815354
>It's actually pretty good and way better than Silk or Spider-Gwen.
That's a lie on all counts, especially since her ongoing is currently intersected with Spider-Gwen and Silk's

You know, having Spider Woman in the MCU not only gives Carol a sidekick, but also gives a good reason to bring in Taskmaster

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>>82815475
do you need a good reason to bring in Taskmaster? He's tangled with nearly anyone at some point or another

>>82815507
Well I suppose, in hindsight really I just want Taskmaster

>>82798665
>How Do We Fix Spider Woman?

They did it already in the 80s.
It went like this
>Ignore Jessica Drew
>Create New Spider-Woman Julia Carpenter
>Have her join the Avengers
>Everyone gets to be happy until the mid-90s when Force Works dies in the Crossing and then they let John Byrne create another Spider-Woman

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anyone check out the old Spider-Woman cartoon? My god it wanted to be about Wonder Woman so bad. she even did the 'spin to get into costume' thing

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Carol advocates date-rape

>>82815544
Taskmaster turns out to be the anonymous sperm donor.

>>82815646
It's not date-rape if there isn't a date.

>>82814836
>>Carol's best friend (who used to be Wanda)

Carol is a friend slut. She's also besties with Jessica Jones. She gets around social circles.

Jessica Drew also came before literally all the Spider-Women.

>>82814096
Carol is too mean to Jessica in that parody comic.

>>82815791
Jessica Jones doesn't count because she was literally created to replace Drew when Bendis couldn't use her for Alias

>>82815415

>Can't believe you're diluting your pure Nubian heritage with some White lesbian.

>>82815808
Carol is mean to everyone in it

Damn it, can't we have a Spider-Woman thread without people trying to push their gayship in everyone's faces?

>>82815876
No. Go away.

>>82798951

I'll take twenty.

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>>82815876
Only if Hopeless ever makes her an interesting character in her own right.

So no.

>>82798951
>>82805434

>nsfw lesbians in space, starring Jess and Carol
No, wait, I'll take fifty!

>>82815402
Because Bendis is a hack.

>>82815791
Yes she did.
Then she got depowered at the end of her series, OTHER Spider-Women have shown up, and the only reason she's in books now is because Bendis likes her.

>>82815808
Carol's entire character in that comic is "total cunt". The only character she's nice to is Steve Roger, and even that is only INCREDIBLY rarely.

>>82805434
>>82813621

Is there a name for this pairing?

>>82816053
Not every pairing has a name.

>>82810318
3.0.
The 90s Clone Saga was the second one. A sequel to Peter's college professor getting obsessed with Pete's dead girlfriend and using cloning to escape virginity.

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>>82815970
>>82805434
>that issue where the space spores make the whole space station horny and Jessica and Carol start making out at the drop of a hat despite the pressing need to work on some crisis

With a name like that, how would you introduce her into the MCU without normies and casuals thinking she's just a Spider-Man ripoff before going to see it? Same with She-Hulk as a Hulk ripoff

>>82816092

Hence my question.

No matter, it's only for the purposes of archiving autism.

>>82801376
Oh god what if they use her in place of black cat

>>82798665
why don't we try making her pregnant again. She can be the first quiverfull superhero.

>>82816139
just forgoe the codename. all of her suits have very little in common with Peter's, design wise. Maybe make a joke that she used to go by Spider-Woman but dropped it because she got sick of people assuming she was 'that new yorker's wife' and now she's just Agent Drew

>>82806507
Just like Carol

Body positivity: All body types are beautiful but only if you're fat, a twig, or look like a man

>>82810110
>>82810454
>>82810594

I think integrating Jessica into a Captain Marvel movie could serve as a great way to connect them to Spidey, and thereby build up the New Avengers.

And since Iron Man came with War Machine, we know it's not like Disney isn't willing to introduce similar characters.

>>82814975
Nah, don't kick yourself.

Rhodey's been relegated so hard into the background for so long that every time he showed up for a while he was practically a different character.

Remember how he went from being a Sentinel managing the X-Mansion internment camp to a Tetsuo the Iron Man cyborg with no explanation? Rhodey could be any black guy at this point.

>>82815251
It probably is.
Jessica was getting a big Bendis push around that time.

>>82815646

That's the least of her problems.

>>82816319
It'd probably be a good idea. If they establish Jessica in the Captain Marvel movie, then they could make the A-Plot of Secret Invasion Carol killing skrulls behind enemy lines and dealing with the fact that her best friend got bodysnatched under her nose, while the B-plot is Norman taking full advantage of the situation and leading the counterattack with his Thunderbolts/Dark Avengers

>>82816142
Carol/Jess

>>82816319
Jess has nothing to do with Pete, has a completely different origin, and a very different powerset.

>>82816477

Yeah, but to normals Spider-Man and Spider-Woman will seem similar no matter what, is what I meant.

>>82816460
actually now that I think about it, they could have the Captain Marvel movie open with Carol busting down a Hydra lair, coming across Jessica and a bunch of goons, and Jessica sees the chance to escape, so helps Carol blast the shit out of her handlers, then spends the rest of the movie following Carol out of a sense of gratitude

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>>82798665
You work as a writer for about 10-20 years, proving consistently good until you have a pick of titles to work on. Then you pick Spider-Woman and do your thing.

Then you watched amazed as the entitled youths of anonymous message boards complain that you're doing it wrong.

Repeat ad nauseam.

Her powers are lame, she has no relation to Spidey, and her gimmick is basically evil super spy turned good guy, which Black Widow does better anyway

With Widow being more interesting, and there being like twelve better Spider-Women, there's really no reason for Drew to exist besides being hot and occasionally having a neat costume

>>82816549
>proving consistently good
>Denis Hopeless

nah man, they give out writing assignments by lottery

>>82815402
I had the exact same thought.

>>82816586

Although, if ScarJo bails on the franchise at some point...

>>82816627
Reading comprehension?

>>82816262
>Agent Drew
Fuck you. Call her Arachne. Might as well just throw all the Spider-Women in a blender and call it a the day.

>>82816549
Heya, Bendis. How's your wife's kids doing?

>>82816139

Nobody is saying she'd get her own movie, mind you.

>>82816262

>wife
Girlfriend, more like.