Welcome to Bob's Burgers. Can i take your order

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>>81722036
Welcome to Bob's Burgers.
Can i take your order

>>81722055

I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with the shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim

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Yeah hi, Im um........not sure what I want here......stick with me I had a few beers before I walked in. Whats the special?

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>>81722036
I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

I'll be having the Child Molester please.

I'd like a hotdog, please.

Do you serve pizza and pasta here? We're looking for an Italian joint to eat at.

>>81722036
mr belcher
bob
why are you selling burgers
your daughter shared her lunch with me the monday after thanksgiving. it was turkey leftovers
my fucking god man, you can cook. you can cook REAL FOOD
why the FUCK are you just selling burgers?
look at that menu, you're offering to put a fried egg on the burger. you know how many burger joints give you that? none
i mean, one. this one. jesus man, at least change it to a general sandwich shop and start selling just-about-everything sandwiches.

>>81722808
>you're offering to put a fried egg on the burger. you know how many burger joints give you that? none

Quite a lot of them, actually.

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Yes, Ill have two large value meals, an apple pie aaaaaaaaand the X-men happy meal.

for my son.

who is at home. which is why he's not here. Also If I could twist your arm to see if you have any of the Nightcrawler toys in there. I.. I mean he has the rest.

>>81722998
they seriously need an episode where the kids get rid of some of the old stupid toys they've gotten at other fast food joints.. duplicates.. or just trunkets they don't care about from garage sales.. teddy starts buying a bunch of them because he gets really into collecting.
>these little burgers are really fun to eat. I feel like a kid! ha! what's this little guy?
>kuchi kopi. pink version. nobody likes pink kuchi kopi
>i like him! gimme anudda

and then they have to start using linda's porcelain babies because they run out

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>>81722036
Oh, Hello! Um, uh, let's see here...uh, well, gosh, I'm not sure what to order. What's the "Rutabaga of all Evil" burger? OH! I see it's a pun! HEHE Okay, uh, I guess I'll take that and a large fry, please. To go!

>I'll have some sesame cheddar blasts.
>And maybe some toasted jalapeño point.
>and do you have mozzarella volcanoes?

>>81722110
Hmm mm....Yeah don't worry about it. Today's special is "Anna and the King of Cayenne" burger. The beef is rubbed with cayenne pepper

>>81723649
>myohhh my god.. that sounds fantastic
>Yeah and, not that i'm condoning public drunkenness in my neighborhood, but you could have come HERE to get beer, yknow. maybe next time..

>>81722036
>"Oh wow, a customer who isn't Teddy or Mort"
>"Is he talking about us Mort? I think Bob is talking about us."
>"Its nice to be noticed, even in this sort of passing."
>"What can I get you today?"
>"Bob never talks like that to me Mort."
>"You know I'm right here Teddy."
>"Don't worry Mort, he can't hear us."
>"Yes. I can. You don't understand indoor voices."
>You begin to walk out.
>"No wait, why don't you try the burger of the day the...Oh my God. LOUISE COUNTER NOW"
>"Yes Father?"
>"What happened to the burger of the day?"
>"You mean the "Awesome of the day?"
>"This morning it was "C'mon and Ham, you want to Jam" now it's..."
>"Oh I get it Bob!"
>"What?"
>"The "Jam your Porker in it Burger. Good one, classic Bob here guy."
>"Teddy, no that's not the burger of the day."
>"Its not?"
>"No its NOT, and we're just going to erase that and..."
>"Woah, Dad's stifling our creative spirit!"
>"Tina no, that's not what I'm doing."
>"This is why I can't ever sell my hit single"
>"Gene, a hit single has to be more than drum beats and fart songs."
>"TELL THAT TO COURTNEY LOVE HEWITT!"
>"Oh I love her music."
>"SHE DOESN'T PLAY MUSIC MORT"
>"LEAVE COURTNEY LOVE HEWITT ALONG DAD, WHAT DID SHE EVER DO TO YOU?"
>"Louise...all right fine. We'll keep the...Jam your Porker Burger... so can I interest you in the...where'd he go?"
>"Oh that guy left like ten minutes ago Dad."
>"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap."

Do you think Louise would let me play with her feet if I payed her?

>>81723173

This is genius, this is not an upcoming episode?

>>81722036
I'll take a Simpsons ripoff with a side of H. Jon Benjamin, please.

>>81724211
I'm sure she'd let you play with her feet if you paid her. She's pretty business minded for a kid.
>"5 bucks for 5 minutes. Money up front. Any funny business and I walk"

>>81725105
How much money if you include funny business though?

>>81723868
nice
are you the same guy as the other thread?

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You guys bought the book right?

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>>81725188
You know damn well Louise has too much self respect for that, anon. She would just talk you into paying for an hour up front, and tell you again about the no funny business rule.

>>81725388
Even if you offer to triple the amount paid?

>>81725360
once I graduate, i'm moving to New Orleans with my girlfriend. Bob's burgers is her favorite show and I want to buy this book for her so we can cook them all the time.

>>81725360
still waiting on the soundtrack they've been promising forever

>>81725360
>Burger-centered cookbook you can read in Jon Benjamin's voice
Fuck me I need this in my life.

>>81725258
Yeah.

I do moonlighting every now and then

I'll have the Thomas Elphinstone Hambledurger with Manning Coleslaw, please.

>>81725458
what do you mean?

>>81725414
>anon-"S-so what if I pay you triple"
>Louise-"Ha, I'll tell you what, big spender, fork over that cash, and we'll see if that changes anything"
>anon-"Really? I only need about 10 minutes, so here's 30."
>Louise-"Yeah... I'm still not feeling the weird stuff"
>anon-"Hey, that's not fair, I paid good money to-"
>Louise-"Oh, you want to file a dispute? Let me call my dad, He'll sort this out. HEY DAD!"
>anon-"SSHHH! Alright, fine, I'll take the 30 minutes"
>Louise-"Sorry, pal, you only paid for 10 minutes. Not my fault you over paid"
>anon-"But I... Okay"
>Louise-"Don't forget to work the bunions"

>>81723173
Ha! Read that in Ted's voice.

Yeah, I want a burger with Soy Sauce, Worcestershire Sauce, cayenne, cumin, black pepper and oregano in it. Gimme.

>>81726499
I want to cum inside of her shoes and watch her walk around in them.

I'll take one Kevin Bacon-ator

>>81725417
I live in new orleans anon.

I'm going to hunt you down and hang out with you guys and cook delicious burgers.

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>tfw when this computer is so slow the verification expired before the post uploaded
>>81722183
Comin' right up!
>>81725360
I want this even if I'm a vegetarian.
>>81726499
>tfw you'll never actually live this
At least VR will be a compromise until sapient robots.

>>81729662
>image Louise slowly placing it in your mouth
>she orders you to chew it and absorb its flavor
>tells you to place it over tongue and blow a bubble
>it pops and hangs over lip
>she makes mouth it back up
>orders you to chew it some more
>makes you swallow it
>gets stuck in your throat for what seems like hours as she just laughs at you
Only God can judge me.

>>81725417
That's cute anon.

>>81725360
Do they have the "baby you can chive my car" burger? Because that sounded good as fuck.

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>>81729706

>>81729838
Thanks, We're pretty gay when it comes to shit like that.

>>81729634
Once you hear the theme music play and smell the food, anytime!

>>81722036
I don't know, caaaaaaaaaannn you? A HAW HAW HAW GIMME A BURGER WITH EXTRA SPIT IN IT GAYLORD

What does /co/ think of bob's burgers?

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>>81722036
Yeah... umm, geez, I'm not the best at decision making... what do people who look like me normally order?

>>81732177
Settings, and enable legacy captcha
no more shitty google craptcha

>>81725360
It's on my wishlist if it helps.

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How the heck did I get here? I thought I was on /v/

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I'll have the Foot Feta-ish burger and a Coke light.
Say, who's the cutie with the hat?

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>>81732239
Among men like you, this is a popular choice.

Hey how's it going? Do you-uh, you have those sausages on a stick you can fry in pancake batter? They have tiny pockets of syrup on the inside? Yeah gimme four of those. And more of whatever this kid's smoking.
>Huuuuuuuuuuhgh
Look at that, poor girl must be loose in the head or something.

>>81722036
Yeah could I get Bob's Burgers cancelled please?

>>81732438
I'll have one of these too.


Though only if it comes with Louise's actual foot.

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>>81732177
>>81732255
Yeah I'm just doing a clean install of my good PC right now so I'm using a hunk of junk. Had to save some photos and between safety mode completely fucking up and the second computer being 90% viruses and no admin password it took a bit to transfer like 30 GB of pictures.

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>>81732895
*feet

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>>81722036
What would you give up for "just" ten seconds with Louise's feet?

>>81725645
Does it come with a free explanation of why that's funny?