Storytime of pain

How about you just drive a railroad spike down my dick hole.

please no

>ultimate universe doesn't go out with a bang, but with bendis talk

the plus side here is that my expectations are so low, there's almost no way this could disappoint me

>>78222044
Keep a close eye on the next to last seqence and remember: he probably gets paid in thousands for EVERY page of a comic.

>>78222079
The padding begins

>>78222079

Of course.

>>78222073
well now you have me worried

>>78222114
>dat stature ass

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>He got paid for this page

>>78222166
He got paid?

>>78222070
Bendis needs to extend his vocabulary.

>>78222179
Bendis needs to extend his neck on the block.

>>78222197
So regular Marvel has a Triskelion now?

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The end

>>78222211
yeah its being used in Ultimates

That's it huh? Didn't like it too much, might just be that I'm sad this wild ride finally ended.
RIP 1610, I knew you way too intimately

Bendis should not be allowed to write events anymore.
This is like a watered down version of himself 7 years ago.

This fucking sucked, Bendis sucks at events. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED IN THIS ENTIRE EVENT, nothing got answered, they wasted 4 issues on a war that ends with Miles showing up, telling them it's pointless, then they rush at Doom without the fight being shown

I'm so mad at this, I thought the Ultimate Universe would get an ending, not this bullshit

>>78222070
Nice use of green and white highlights here.

I feel like the epilogue with miles waking up and stuff should have been at the end of the actual secret wars series and this issue should have come out before last weeks issue.
Those last couple of pages pissed me off because it felt really lazy, not soo much on Bendis's part but on the artist's. Although I wouldn't be surprised if they both came up with this idea of having the panels slowly disappear until there is just white, it just feels like a cheap trick. As someone who believes in supporting the industry and voting with my wallet this issue legitimately pissed me off. I have loved Marvel all my life but soo much of the stuff they put out these days just isn't good.

Gaaaaaaaay.

>>78222189
Who is the pig tail girl?

>>78222092
Nice callback to Peter's death.

>>78222120
>Doom took it away from us
Pretty sure Doom saved everyone from the Beyonders killing everything.

>>78222338
Lana Baumgarter.

>>78222211
Yep - as featured in The ULTIMATES. (no relation)

>>78222338
His girlfriend who was a member of Hydra

>>78222189
Kitty?
Bombshell?
I literally can't tell who she is supposed to be.

>>78222385
As if Bendis cares about details

>>78222396
Oh sweet

>>78222411
She had pink hair though.

>>78222412
Bombshell. She's confirmed a survivor.

Also I called that black guy surviving as well.

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>>78222079

Who wants to bet Goldballs will be fucking Bombshell in Spider-Man

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>tfw I used to defend Bendis and he does shit like this

So I wonder how many Ultimate characters Bendis will bring back in the Upcoming Miles book. I have a feeling he'll bring back Ultimate Jessica

MJ, Gwen, May, and Peter are staying dead though

>>78222178
Paid?

>>78222338
bombshell ?

>>78222108
At least this page was good

>>78222197
what is he swinging off of at that height ?

>>78222511

I guess. I was expecting things to be a lot worse in regards to Ult Frank.

>>78222137
Didn't beta ray bill get killed in thors #1?
Oh nevermind, Bendis.

>>78222454
Are they? Miles was caught up in that wave that made everyone vanish too, and he wound up in 616, others may have been scattered across the multiverse in different places

>>78222166
He got paid for TWO

>>78222526
Bendis' talent

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>>78222450
He used to be good. USM was good, damn it.

>>78222083
Oh it was already on woth the last four pages, whch could have been four panels.

>>78222079

wew lad

>>78222092
Why the fuck is Logan telling everyone what should be common knowledge

>>78222601
Lad? As young boy?

>>78222570

No it really wasn't.

It was 100+ issues of Bendis rewriting existing 70s comics.

>>78222079
No way am I reading that.

>>78222177
>bringing back his mom

nice

>>78222644

He rewrote them right.

This was a disaster, UU deserved more and the decision to put it down was retarded.

>>78222570
>USM was good
It was mediocre and forgettable.

Uhh so why were the Thors attacking them? Didn't Lady Thor convince them to switch sides and then they immediately attacked Doom

>>78222791
Bullshit, USM is one of the best Spideys out

>>78222818
No. It's bland at best, straight-up awful at worst.

>>78222644
>It was 100+ issues of Bendis rewriting existing 70s comics.
That were shit, like 90% of existing 616 Spider-Man runs, that I also doubt Bendis read.

>>78222767

Nope he rewrote a bunch of Lee/Ditko plotlines + crap like Venom.

Basically it was rehashing 40+ years of comics for people to lazy to read through collections of Amazing

>>78222177
Are we going to get an explanation for his mom being alive again, or should I just dismiss it as Secret Wars shenanigans?

In any case, thanks for the stoytime, OP. At least it's over.

>>78222843
>like 90% of existing 616 Spider-Man runs
Fuck off.

>>78222833
Your shit taste is incredibly big

>>78222881
You say that a terribly-written book that ignores its own plotlines, pads out its storylines, has awful dialogue and villain characterizations is "great"
You don't have a leg to stand on.

>>78222871
I can, it won't change the truth though.

>>78222914
The only truth here is that you're a shitposting faggot

So ultimate pete doesn't even get to make an appearance? the only good thing about the ultimate universe doesn't get a send off? I mean, they brought him back to life, right?

>>78222909
except none of that is true

>>78222644
>It was 100+ issues of Bendis rewriting existing 70s comics.
And thats bad because...?

>>78222055
>I peeked inside his head

For fucks sake Jean, just stop.

>>78222943
Whatever helps you sleep at night, tasteless USMfag.

>>78222914

>he hasn't read any classic Amazing storylines

Not all of Amazing has been McFarlane tier or Clone Saga shitfests.

Besides Bendis was really doing nothing new other than decompression of old stories.

Which is fine for introducing new readers to the character but let's not pretend USM actually covered new ground. It was classic high school age wish fulfillment comics.

>>78222070
>>78222079
HE DID IT !

The absolutely madman!

>>78222871
Its absolutely fucking true. The vast majority of spidey stories are nothing special at all.

>>78222166
The... The kokoro...

>>78222978
>i-it's true because I said so
I reiterate, fuck off.

>>78222942
Him and MJ died with the incursions, Doom didn't remake them

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RIP.....

The whole UU just seems incestuous and pointless in retrospect.
They should have just cancelled the books and let it fade away.

>>78222991
>i-its not true because i said so
You fuck off

>>78223016
Your shitposting is getting boring.
Just kill yourself already.

>>78222978

Guess what the vast majority of USM was nothing special either.

It's just that some people like 1610 high school Peter and some like 616 adult Peter.

It doesn't change the fact that the rest of the Ultimates universe was a complete shitshow and besides 1610 Spidey is fucking Miles.

>>78222964
>he's in highschool and fighting the same villains
>hey they've done this shit before!
Most of Spider-man and capeshit in general is just rehashing old storylines you goddamn idiot.

>>78223016
>>78222991
Secret Wars condensed down to two posts.
Well done, anons.

>>78222079
>> Y-y-you wanted to see me?

>>78222928
>anyone that disagrees with me is a shitposter
I sure am glad that you're the hero in this story that your delusions have crafted where Spider-Man has enough good comics worth fighting over and rivers flow of chocolate and the G-spot exists.

>>78222964
I've read plenty of ASM actually, I just don't view it through rose colored glasses because I'm not that enthralled by the character anymore.

I didn't say it was all bad, I said 90%, so there's 10% of a comic that has been written superfluously for the past half-century that I enjoyed, but Peterfags will defend everything that makes the character look good to the death.

>>78223068
>I-I'm not a shitposter, mom!
Yeah, sure you aren't.

>Peterfags
>that shitty strawman
Oh, you're one of those retards. That explains everything.

>>78222055
GoDDAMNITT JEAN.

>>78223034
>i can't handle your radical opinions
Truly great spidey stories are few and far
between. there was good stuff in the 80s. 90s shit was 90s shit. And JMSs run and the rest of the early 2000s had nothing amazing. And since OMD ASM has been eithr decent or mediocre

>>78221999
Yet another series to file under 'Read the whole thing for free thanks to /co/ storytimes and I still feel like I want my money back'

>>78222058
Bendis outright does not understand a damn thing happening in secret wars does he?

>>78223068

Honestly blame Quesada broseph.

He's the one that seems to only want Peter stuck in perpetual manboy stasis rather than actually maturing.

I'm not really a big fan of Spidey in general because I remember a time when he was needlessly stuffed into more comics than Wolverine and Deadpool combined and in general I see the point of having a USM style book as a gateway drug but in general I wasn't that impressed with Bendis's USM run and let's be honest after Loeb fucked up the 1610 USM was the only thing going for the Ultimate Universe.

>>78223123
I can't handle idiotic opinions.
>Truly great spidey stories are few and far
>it's not great so it's shit
Like this one. There are tons of good Spider-Man stories.
>And JMSs run and the rest of the early 2000s had nothing amazing
Except JMS run was pretty damn well-written for a superhero comic and was one of the best things to happen to the character until editorial fucked everything up with Sins Past

Can someone explain to me what happened. I didn't read the other issues. Are they on battle world? Or is it when the world's ending?

>>78223107
If I'm shitposting I can't wait to see you explain what you're doing, son.

>>78223123

Honestly any book that's been written for 50+ years is going to have a bunch of filler.

FF, Avengers, X-Men, ASM, etc have all had shit runs during that time.

In terms of overall quality though Bendis USM is solid in terms of the last 10 years but honestly probably won't hold up that well.

And eventually Marvel will do yet another Peter reboot in a pocket universe because Marvel needs books without a ton of crossovers because otherwise the only entry into the comics is the movies and cartoons.

>>78223265
Telling you to fuck off, stupidly hoping you'd actually fuck off with your shit unsubstantiated opinions and not write another dumb post?

>>78222153
>>78222147
We get it. Doom is a bad guy. This writing is like it's been done by a child in primary school. do you not own a thesaurus?

So is marvel at a point where the writers just do whatever, like the days just before Shooter took over?

>>78222079
Move that Quicksilver to Wanda's right.

>>78223162
Not true, the Ultimates with the Maker was awesome too

>>78222166

Double spread pay

>>78223355

It was fine until Hickman left it half finished and then it went to shit.

>>78223282
>And eventually Marvel will do yet another Peter reboot in a pocket universe because Marvel needs books without a ton of crossovers because otherwise the only entry into the comics is the movies and cartoons.
That's Spidey, which isn't 616 no matter how much they say it is.

Millar should've been the one to end the universe.
Call him "edgy" or whatever you like, but at least he knows how to write a conclusion that actually feels satisfying.
Even shit books like Kick-Ass or Nemesis had some hype moments near their ending.
Plus, it was Ultimates that truly shaped the Ultimate Universe.

>>78222046
>Whatever this fight is about
Um, what IS this fight about? I honestly don't know even though I read all the issues. Whose fighting who and why?

>>78223410
/co/ doesn't like Ultimate Millar anymore after the gay vampire arc.

>>78222147
>>78222153
>>78222159
>>78222166
I would say that I couldn't believe Bendis could do something as unflinchingly shitty as this but he always seems to find a way. Holy shit, I'm glad I didn't read this tie-in. This was the dumbest single fucking book I've read in the entire event. And holy shit the writing was just god awful. How can you spend that long reiterating the fact that Doom is a bad man? And not even using different words. Everyone just literally kept referring to him as a "bad man"

>>78222960
if you have shit taste it's your fault, don't be so mad at yourself.

>>78222147
>>78222153
>>78222159
>>78222166
Jesus fuck really? Artist could have drawn characters disappearing in battle or I dunno actually done more than just copy and paste.

Also a Miles wankfest is a shitty way to end what was the Ultimate universe, also this was a waste of comic story.

>>78223471
>NO U
Real mature, but what's a 00s nostalgiabanbby to do.

>>78223434
I'm still sure he was mad at Loeb for fucking shit up and wanted to make things even more absurd as a mockery of sorts.
I don't like Millar usually, but he was pretty good on 1610 comics before Loeb fucked everything up.

>>78222092
>>78222098
Wait, I'm confused. If they knew about the Thors, how can Logan telling them about the different Zones be a surprise?
Everyone knows about battleworld and different zones, they just didn't know it was all fake and created by Doom.

>>78223293
You're so mad that someone has a different opinion than you that you accuse everyone that does of shitposting, you need to grow up, kid.

Even more you're upset that someone dare sully the quality of one of the most iconic characters in the world with their opinion, like my opinion is going to set t-shirt sales on fire or stop the 6th movie in 15 years from happening. But keep lapping it on up.

It's straight up numbers, there's a lot of Spider-Man/Peter Parker stories\runs\writers out there because it's been in print so long, and most of them are mediocre.
Lee/Ditko is a staple because it's the character's introduction, and beyond that there's peppered interesting takes and great storylines but in no way are they in the majority nor are they interesting to read for anyone that isn't just 'seeing where it goes' for their husbandu.

>>78223068
>but Peterfags will defend everything that makes the character look good to the death

Oh, you're just some Milesfag. Your entire opinion can safely be disregarded. Thanks.

>>78223123
>Truly great spidey stories are few and far
That really depends on the criteria you're using to define "truly great". That's a pretty subjective phrase in and of itself.

>>78223609
Nice strawman, I'm sorry your husbandu is as boring as his replacement.

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>>78222166
KUBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>78223123
>And JMSs run and the rest of the early 2000s had nothing amazing.

2/10 troll. You can do better.

>>78223602
>IT'S ALL LE SHIT is just a different opinion, u le mad
>all that defensiveness
>grow up, kid
>husbandu
Yep, sure you are not a shitposter. Kill yourself already. Things you say have zero value and even less constructive criticism. It's not even possible to argue with you because "IT'S ALL SHIT AND I'M RIGHT YOU JUST BUTTMAD PETERFAGS" is the only "argument" you have.
>and most of them are mediocre.
>IT'S TRUE BECAUSE I SAID SO

>>78223513
>I hate everything they like, I'm so important and mature
It must be really sad to be you

>>78222197
But it is the end.
It's the end for all the other characters from the Ultimate Universe that didn't make the jump. This was their last hoorah, and they had to share it with 616 characters and they didn't actually get to really do much.
This was not the ending fans of the ultimate universe deserved.

>>78223700
>more strawmen
Yep, USMfags are cancer.

>>78223691
>shitposting by calling everyone else shitposters
This is some next level shit.

>>78223162
>Honestly blame Quesada broseph.
>He's the one that seems to only want Peter stuck in perpetual manboy stasis rather than actually maturing.

As much as I want to agree with you, this isn't true. Quesada may have started that whole shitstorm, but he has nothing to do with it any more. The guy doesn't even work for Marvel's print department anymore. He works on the movies, on the committee that helps validate scrips and whatnot.

If you have any problems with the MCU flicks, its probably Quesada's fault. But not Spider-Man's manboy stasis.

>>78223726
>n-no y-you're the one shitposting
For the 5th, I think, time.
FUCK OFF.

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>>78223691
You type like you're in a Youtube comment section with buzzwords futile lashing outs at someone over the internet because you're a huge manbaby, no wonder you self-insert as someone that Marvel doesn't want to age. I bet you still read Slott's run monthly so you can 'le rage' with all the other cool kids, but you don't buy it so clearly you're the victor in this scenario where the shitty book is still consistently top selling.

Stay perpetually mad, kid.

>>78223748

Quesada started the whole let's reboot Pete into a manboy with his dick in lots of chicks so I'm giving him at least partial blame.

Slott deserves alot of blame for keeping him there though.

Bendis didn't exactly cover a lot of new ground either with his homage to Lee and Ditko.

At least Editorial have finally exiled Logan and Pete from contaminating Avengers storylines.

>>78223668
I get why people like JSMs run. He was great with all the side characters and even managed to make MJ almost interesting. But I don't find his stories verry memorable aside from the shit in proximity to Civil War. Plus the Other and the web of life stuff is garbage.

>>78222942
The Spider-Man in this event was ult peter

>>78223662
>uses strawman to justify hate
>throws a fit when someone throws their own strawman right back at them

Can't handle your own shitflinging, huh? This is some weak ass bait. You can do better. Put some actual effort into it next time.

>>78223830
>ad hominem
>stay le mad kid XDD
>being a hypocritical cunt complaining about buzzwords
>more shitty strawmen
Just admit that you're shitposting instead of acting like a hormonal teenage girl brought up by very religious parents, and let's be done with it. The bullshit you spew is getting less interesting with each minute and it wasn't all that interesting to begin with.

>>78223903
Show me where I strawmanned.
Protip: saying that fans of a character will defend a character is not strawmanning.

Wow, it sure is faggot in here.

>>78223933
>still being this salty
Hot damn.
>The bullshit you spew is getting less interesting with each minute and it wasn't all that interesting to begin with.
Are you talking to me or every Spider-Man writer ever?

>>78223850
>At least Editorial have finally exiled Logan and Pete from contaminating Avengers storylines.

Except for the whole part where pretty much the whole world, including the Avengers and whatnot, all use Parker Industries tech and whatnot.

The whole world is dependent on Peter being a two bit Iron Man knockoff.

>>78222079

TL;DR

>>78223961
Look, no matter what your parents told you're not clever, so stop trying to be. Your attempts are cringeworthy.
>LE SALTY
By the way kill yourself

>>78222177

So... I gave bendis a shot and in return he spoiled Secret Wars for me

>>78223988

Don't get me started on Pete as super genius.

Not enough that Pete gets to fuck all sorts of women and have super powers but apparently he needs to be Iron Man lite.

>>78223852
>even managed to make MJ almost interesting
MJ has always been interesting. Its like you're just running through a list of common Spider-Man complaints, hoping people will get pissed at your shenanigans.

Very unimpressive trolling.

>>78223852
>memorable
That's extremely subjective and has nothing to do with quality

>>78222050
>I do, Hawkeye. Completely
Ugh more Bendis patting himself on the back through Peter.

>Don't be jelly
This literally isn't Spider-Man. Bendis can't write anymore.

>>78224031
He's been a Gary Stu for a while, now he's just Gary Stu prime.

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>>78223009
It hurts

So when are we doing another story time of pain weekend?

>>78224105
Bendis has never been good at writing 616 Pete. Is this really that shocking?

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Guardians of the Galaxy is fucking awesome. I cant even fathom the amount of shit it's getting on /co/

Its just like the movie, which got good reviews, and its one of the highest selling comics in the world right now and for good reason

>b-but its not MUH GUARDIANS!
lol fuck off. Nobody cared or knew who they were before the movie. Consider actually having fun once in your life, thats what the run is, fun. Since when is NOT MUH a valid criticism? They're basically taking the gotg name and making it something better, there's nothing wrong with that.

Its basically the exact same for Kitty Pryde. Reinventing a C-list character into a badass renegade which is also selling well and everyone is enjoying it aside from you /co/ntrarians. Why is that exactly?

>ultimate end
>most of the pages are about miles.

Fuck u bendis fuck you.
Amongst all the characters you could give send off to, you chose this shitty character which isn't even going to die in this even. Who wasnt even in the story for more than a few years.
I hate this.
I want my ultimate universe back
Without this spider-nigger.

>>78224187
>this copypasta
kek

Gets me every time.

>>78224131
>J'onn J'onzz PTSD

>>78222058

>Hey guys remember when comics were good

*sigh*

>>78224187
I like the one with the .gif of multiple Bendis' pointing better.

>I'm supposed to believe the man who saved their asses and created a world for them to live on is villain\
>these ungrateful asses want to FUCK SHIT UP because they didn't know they were saved
How are these people not villains?

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>>78224210
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIoXvf5d9kI
This thread's theme.

>>78224294
*comic's theme
I should say.

>>78222166
you don't get it.
First he draws all the characters, then he deletes some.
It's mroe work than just drawing the page normally

>>78221999
This cover pretty much says it all.
>"Well boys. Time to pack it up."
>"Miles: Wait, I get to stay?"

>>78224290
>How are these people not villains?

Wat.

Couple of things:
No villains views themselves as a villain. In their own mind, they're the hero.

If they're ignorant of being saved and think Doom is evil, how does attempting to stop a believed evil make someone a villain?

>>78222108
Fucking ultimate Frank deserved way worse.

>>78222166
Lets be fair, this probably wasn't Bagley's idea. Its almost 100% Bendis'.

>>78222166
One could argue that he got paid for the same double-spread five times over.

>>78222159
>>78222153
>>78222147
>>78222079

>>78224171
No, but his ineptitude can be. This is one of Marvel's flagship fucking writer here. He is trash.

>>78222055
Any version of the Jean Grey lineage is horrible under Bendis. I never hated her character until him.

>>78222197

The World Trade Center (Freedom Tower) is in the south side of Manhattan...Miles would be swinging in the Midtown district....this makes no fucking sense.

Would it kill you to look at a map, Bagley?

>>78224356
>Doom picked up the pieces
>picked up the pieces
>pieces
How is saving their lives and millions of other from the destruction of world evil? It's like their brains stopped functioning

>>78224409
I take back everything bad I said about Remender and his Uncanny Avengers.
He may be padding his stories, but at least they end up with a bang.

>>78224429
Did you even fucking read my response? Doesn't look like it.

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>>78222079
>>78222147
>>78222153
>>78222159
>>78222166

>$3.99 for this shit

>>78221999
Nice Trips.
I've started going through the archives saving all the storytime of pain comics, so i can one day dump they all onto /co/ at once.

>>78224429
>>78224356
>doom
>not evil
I wish doomwank would stop

>>78224429
Have you even read the main Secret Wars book?

Its explicitely stated that no one in any of the regions remembers the incursions. Aside from Doom and Strange, everyone's mind was wiped and made to think that they have ALWAYS been in Battleworld and that there was no world before it.

The characters who survived the incursions on the two life rafts were the exception. The life rafts prevented them from being affected by Doom's world-mind wipe.

>Hulk saying that he doesn't want to sound cliche but he needs to smash something
>That guys look of disgust and disappointment in the panel next to Hulk
Sums up my rection to Hulk and this page

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>>78222197
Oh man, all the Ultimates and Ultimate Spider Man books i read over the years - this was making me really sad .

This was nothing. No story, no excuse for a story. Just a "deal with it, we killed all of them off without them even dying".

Ah man. Really more than just "meh" for me. Just sads.

>>78223913
No it wasn't, it was a doppleganger of 616 Peter

>>78224366
For killing 616 Frank?

>>78223913
>Spider-Man with a clearly fully adult build, height, etc

Are you stupid?

I love how this issue tells us the 4 previous issues were pointless. I bet nobody here can even name what they were fighting over

>>78224639
Something about the Iron Mans and the Hulks

>>78224497

This. It's simply sad.

>>78222066
Who the f*k is the guy that looks like Logan? I'm pretty sure Logan was no pretty boy.

And the f*k's up with his claws?

>>78224187
I fucking hate the Guardians movie because it ruined my comics. Thanks for nothing James Gunn. You say you loved DnA but now poor Abnett is being forced to fit his characters into your own shitty characterization. It's not even Bendis fault, it was you. You alone. At least Bendis kept the Guardians closer to DnA in Assemble but you shat the bucket inmediately since the very beginning of this shit movie with those stupid songs that in turn made buffoons of the Guardians even on the Cartoons.

Fuck you James Gunn. I'll forever hold you responsible for killing the Guardians.

>>78224029
Some the tie-ins that have already been completed have already given hints to how Secret Wars actually ends after the final battle which basically consists of it being The whole world blowing up and everyone(?) dying

>>78224210
Calm down boy.

>>78224187
>I was only nine years old
>I loved Bendis so much, I owned all his comics and merchandise
>I pray to Bendis every night, thanking him for the dialogue I have been given
>"Bendis is love", I say, "Bendis is life"
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Bendis
>I respond "I'm a faggot?"
>He says "Yes, you're a faggot"
>I say "But I'm not gay"
>He says "I meant faggot as a generic insult, not to call you gay"
>I repond "It's still pretty homophobic"
>He punches me and sends me to my room
>I am crying now, because I wasn't finished talking
>I go into my bed and it is very cold
>I feel a warmth moving towards me
>I keep feeling a warmth moving towards me for 5 panels
>I feel something touch me
>2 page spread
>It's Bendis
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear, "Wanna read my latest comic?"
>"Your latest comic?"
>"Yes"
>"You came to my room to show me your latest comic?"
>"Why else would I come?"
>"I thought you were gonna have your way with me"
>"You're 9 years old, anyone who could possibly think that would be twisted freak"
>"A twisted freak?"
>"Yes"
>"Can I just read the comic?"
>"Go ahead"
>He grabs me with his chubby nerd hands and puts me on my hands and knees
>I'm ready
>I open the comic for Bendis
>He wasted several pages on characters eating and doing nothing
>It hurts so much, but I do it for Bendis
>I can feel my brain tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Bendis
>He laughs a mighty laugh as he ignores established continuity
>My dad walks in
>Bendis looks him deep in the eyes and says, "It's all over now"
>"Who the fuck are you? I'm calling the cops!"
>"You were suposed to say "It's over now?""
>"Fuck you, what are you doing with my son?"
>"You're no fun"
>Bendis punches the wall and leaves to write about his waifu some more
Bendis is love, Bendis is life

>>78224716
>Thanks for nothing James Gunn.
>implying that isn't Quesada and the rest of the MCU committee's fault.

Gunn did a wonderful job with what he had to work with. Don't shit on Gunn.

>>78222070
Wait is Miles saying all this? And if not...

>>78222070
>A broken angry rage monster

>>78222092
Wait. That couldn't be OML who's gonna be in EXm right?

>>78222197
Wasn't THAT bad, nice last page, too.

>>78224833
He is.

>>78222055
DAMN IT JEANS

>>78222079
Oh thats not to ba...

>>78222147

IT KEEPS GOING!

>>78224860
What did you like about this issue?

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>>78224187
Nobody even mentioned GOTG.

>>78222055
Why is Ultimate Jean speaking in 616 lettering?

>>78224889
I think the last few pages with characters disappearing little by little was neat and I liked the ending with Miles. Nothing was AWFUL, just ok, I guess. am i a shill now

>>78222114
>No. A truley bad man did something horrendous.

Captain America, Ladies and Gentlemen. Master of words.

>>78224679
His son. Why are you reading this if you didn't read the UU?

>>78225111
I thought his son was blond and crew cut.

>>78222385

The amount of guff that Doom is getting from all of these ingrates when the only reason that any of them continue to draw breath is because he spent decades preparing to challenge an enemy who the gods themselves could not endure in order to save creation itself from oblivion. Oh, he didn't do it EXACTLY the way you wanted? Better go punish him, you stupid entitled babies!

I mean it's nice that at the end there was some lip service paid to this obvious contradiction

>"Oh, god, what if we're wrong?"

But then there's no exploration of that issue! That is way too interesting and way too important to just skim over that way!

>>78222079
>>78222147
>literally the same double-paged spread with a few differences
YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS MARVEL.
WHY DON'T YOU STOP HIM?

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>>78224738
Brian Michael Bendis is a gateway writer of the worst kind. He's a bad storyteller, with a clusterfuck of story and characterization that isn't very well done by any aspect, but which attempts to compensate for its weaknesses by adding in excessive double pages and WORDS. The normal anon can see this as the shit it is, and may enjoy it, hate it or be indifferent to it, but all the while recognizing that the writer himself, regardless of their opinion, is plain bad.

However, these very aspects that try to smear over the shit of his core make him a breeding ground for aspie, unsociable tumblr faggots who engage in every kind of faggotry both online and in the real world. The superpowered characters all trying their hardest to look smart, the unending Bendisspeak, boring personalities, the whole quipping faggotry and everything about his stories fuels their escapist fantasies, while the retconned character backgrounds, emphasis on his waifus, and overall preachiness of the writer make it fit just right with the mary-sueish drives of your average redditor and his sense of unwarranted self-importance towards the world. Exactly the kind of shit that makes redditors and tumblr retards eat this shit right the fuck up.

Bendis is basically THE writer to attract the most hated comicbook fanbase known to /co/, which is why, regardless of individual opinions, it is the responsibility of every anon to shitpost the fuck out of this writer and everyone who likes it, and ensure that no Bendis thread (excpet for story times so we can see the trash for what it is) ever encourage /co/mblr to show their faces here.

>>78224906
I love those panels. Kitty is cuuuuuute.

>>78224860
Yes it was. It was fucking terrible writing. Some of Bendis' worst ever.

Nice art, though.

>>78224950
>am i a shill now
Absolutely. 100% shill.

The Bendis Pastas are really fucking stale.

>>78225553
Star-Kitty a best.
>>78225627
Definetly Bendis' worst, but not the worst of the worst. I even fucking enjoyed ANXM a bit.

>>78225710
>but not the worst of the worst
What has he done thats worse? I cannot think of a single book he has written that's worse. And that's saying a lot. Bendis has some REAL shitty stories.

>>78225710
>I even fucking enjoyed ANXM a bit.
When did you stop?

>>78225787
Nah, I mean it's not the worst comic ever, but it is Bendis' worst.

>>78225815
Never stopped, last issue with Gay Bobby was a bit annoying, though.

>>78225844
That's exactly what I was saying. Of the entire comic book medium, yeah, there are WAY worse comics out there. But for your standard cape comic, Marvel and/or Bendis in general, this is some REALLY shitty writing.

Ultimately, you and I are in total agreement.

>>78224518

That wasn't 616 Frank, it was Frank from an earth very similar to 616

>>78225866
You enjoyed it a bit. When did it stop being enjoyable?

>>78226071
For real?

>>78226071
Or a construct created by Doom, that is similar to 616.

>>78225702
Stale pastas for a stale writer.

>>78226203
Yeah, its really not 616 Frank. He died during the incursion.

>>78225702
>>78226274
Sounds like someone is mad :^)

>>78222147
So this page shows which Ultimates characters carry over?

>>78226178
Never, it was good, but not the best X-Men run. Enjoyable, but not as good as other runs, like his GOTG run.

>>78226385
Please tell me you are talking about his new ANAD GotG volume.

>>78226385
>like his GOTG run
...so complete and utter shit? Fucking Klyntars...

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>>78226314
Secretly everyone is a Bendis fan. Sure people here like to feel they have superior taste by calling him shit, hack or whatever they want. They feel better knowing their current indy darling is way better than the top dog at Marvel because it somehow validates the comics they are reading and that's fine.

And yeah the things people complain about Bendis are true as well. He likes to write for trades with slow pacing arcs and his characteristic dialogue. Not to mention putting the stories over any kind of continuity fans want to be acknowledged.

But it's also true that what he does is exactly what Marvel needs. He actually puts some effort in trying to change and advance these characters. You people always criticize his changes because you don't want your characters to advance that fast. Maybe if a change is teased and slowly build then in ten years you will accept it but Bendis doesn't have ten years. He wants to move forward himself not wait until his grandsons do the job for him. You hate him for that but it's what Marvel need. His stories also appeal to the readers. He writes what they want to read. Compare Guardians of the Galaxy against Inhumans. Both had the same number of variants but Bendis still won because he writes the team of Guardians people are interested in reading, accuse him of waifuing or whatever but people accpeted Kitty as Star-Lord because Bendis sold her to them in the first issue. He also put the Avengers on the map and some might say he did it by using gimmicks and events but he was the one who dared to pull these gimmicks and events, and they worked. People liked it. Bendis does know what people want. /co/ of course has other ideas, and most likely those ideas would send Marvel into bankruptcy again.

Bendis works, and /co/ loves him. All the hate messages are just the way they have to show their love.

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Keeps this saved for Civl War 2

>>78226457
I don't get the hate for that, still.
>>78226659
>All these flavours…
>And you chose to be salty

>616Side Parker knows Miles but doesn't know everyone in 1610 knows his name.
BENDIS

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>>78226729
Who's salty? You don't like bingo? What's wrong with you?

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>>78226659
>White straight male is bad.
>Minority is good.
Where were you when /pol/ was literally edgy tumblr?

>>78226577
>Secretly everyone is a Bendis fan.

I don't keep it a secret. He HAS done some good stories. But overall, his writing career is extremely hit or miss. And when he misses, it tends to miss hard and be complete and utter garbage. Exhibit A: Ultimate End.

>>78226729
>I don't get the hate for that, still.
What's not to get? He ruined nearly the whole cast by giving them new personalities or with shitty retcons. That in conjunction with lots of Bendis-ism and shitty pacing = a shitty comic.

>>78226913
NO OPINIONS ALLOWED

>>78224907
Because that's not Ultimate Jean. It's O5 Jean

All I know is I think Lana is still alive so I've happy.

>No battle in Doomgard
>Not even dying in the middle of Secret Wars #8
THEN WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF DELAYING THIS SHIT
FUCKING
BENDIS

>>78222166

>3.99 for a blank spread

>>78226955
Its objectively shitty. If you think otherwise, then you're being knowingly ignorant or stupid. Your call.

>>78226862
>/pol/
Your fucking retarded mate. The bingo is based of how predictable Marvel is.

>>78226729
It just wasn't a very good written run. I remember my biggest complaint was the fact that I got into Cosmic Marvel because it was so far removed from all of the shit happening Earth and Bendis' run seemed to go out of its way to keep it grounded there. It's one thing to have someone on Earth on the team through something incidental, like Jack Flag. It's another entirely to have Tony Stark join the team and insist that they always have someone from Earth representing their interests.

And don't even get me started on the fucking Klyntar.

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>>78226314
No, I'm just disappointed.

>>78226793
Bingo was used to play in carnivals where black people were slaves, so no, I don't like Bingo
>>78226862
I wish the SJW mods would come back, we really need Redwood back

>>78227398
DNA's run was way better, but I enjoy Bendis' for what it is.

>>78222137
>>78222147
>>78222153
>>78222159
wait... so, are they teleporting, or did doom reset them

>>78227522
>Bingo was used to play in carnivals where black people were slaves

Oh fuck off.

Bingo was also original called Il Giuoco del Lotto d'Italia and from the 1500s. It has always been, basically, the same fucking game. Get your SJW bullshit out of here you mouthbreathing troglodyte.

>>78227568
They were never alive to begin with. They were all constructs created by Doom.

>>78227522
LOOK A FAGGOT

>>78224716
Gunn isn't to fault here. He was just adapting the team with his own vision. Its Marvel comics trying to copy what's hot right now/

>>78227546
I gave Bendis's first run a shot but it just wasn't for me. Like I said, way too much Earth bullshit. The new one, for what it's worth, isn't terrible, I'll admit. Still getting sick of Bendisspeak though.

>>78222798
She convinced some of them. There were others still loyal to Doom

>>78222055
could we tweet to Bendis why Jean keeps mindraping everyone?

So... how did this spoil Secret Wars?

>>78227795
It was just a bullshit excuse to delay the book because Bendis is a hack. Same shit with Uncanny 600. In OML we got the same shit seen here >>78222137

>>78222644
You do realize that was kinda the point of the UU back before Loeb destroyed it right? It was filled with reimagining old stories in the modern day

>>78222127

I guess I'm going to have to reread this terrible series. Is this Ultimate Peter?

>>78227751
He'll probably just block you.

>>78222055
It reminds me of House of M.

>>78227704
I think the new one deserves a little more than just not terrible. I mean Bendis is really trying this time.

>>78222046
>>78222050
How do people just instantly remember Miles? He's not a part of Battleworld.

>>78228203
Which is written by Bendis.
I think you're onto something.

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>>78224738
>>78225500
Brian Michael Bendis is the most ingenious comic book writer of this century. Of any century. Bendis has created the perfect comic book formula, flawless in every way. He has sculpted a masterpiece, flawless and perfect. In fact, you can call it a masterpiece of flawlessness.

Brian Michael Bendis is the greatest thing to happen to comics since the invention of superheroes, and the most important thing to happen to mankind since the invention of paper. A one of a kind experience, nothing on Earth compares to this man's heartwarming, majestic, epic, and beautiful works of art. If the greats from the Golden Age were alive today, they would kill themselves for being so shitty compared to Bendis.

Bendis's poetic redundant dialogue about absolutely nothing should be compared to the greatest works of literature. In fact, if I could, I would take a shit on every comic book ever written, because Brian Michael Bendis is the best fucking writer ever.

>>78225880
For me this is the worst comic I ever read.

even Marville is better, this? bendis does not even try.

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>tells reader we'll get answers from ultimate peter in ultimate end
>after following a character for 10 years we get shit
>fucking liar
>fucking hack

HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

>>78227795
It spoiled up until issue #8 and part of the ending.

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>>78228367
>Ultimate End #5 thread
>four pages of the same dozens of facial portraits
>battle happens off-panel
>thread descends into nothing but copypasta and shitposting

>>78228423
OML did that first some time ago, though.

WHERE IS ULTIMATE PETER

FUCK YOU BENDIS

>>78228100
I thought is was Peter from 616 but if he's talking to that Aunt May and Gwen he has to be from the Ultimate universe (Right?)

>>78227304
Fuck off back to your containment board, faggot.

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>>78228414
>HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nigga, do you even know who your talking about? He's the master of Marvel, the king of comics, the future Editor-in-Chief. He has 2 shows based on his creations, Powers and Jessica Jones, and someday Mile Morales will be the next Spider-man in movies or TV.

Sorry mate, but Bendis is the King of Marvel. Those on Team Bendis will guard any and all storylines created by Bendis, or expand on it. I mean look at this shit >>77869998 →

Once he finally runs Marvel, we will enter an era of Bendis continuity. As long as there's a franchise with a movie or TV show, it won't be safe from Bendis Continuity.

He' the future Editor-in-Chief of Marvel, and the other writers at marvel know it. The ones that aren't with him are off doing Star Wars.

>>78228537
i'm never buying a fucking marvel book again
they treat their fans like shit.

pirating anything i want to read from now on.

it also helps that i'm still pissed slott is writing spidey.

there's no real peter parker anymore.

peter parker is gone.

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>>78224906
I like Kitty's new outfit even though those yellow things are weird.

>>78228628
She's channeling Ninjak.

>>78222166
Whelp, we're /a/ now.

>>78224210
>Bitching about it being about miles in a 5 issue mini series that miles only really appeared in 1 issue
Y'all really hate Miles

>>78228100
>Is this Ultimate Peter?
No. Its a construct of 616 Peter created by God Doom.

>>78228446
Do you have something good to say about the issue? It fucking sucked.

>>78228917
Hickman has been /a/ since his Avengers started.

>>78228461
>WHERE IS ULTIMATE PETER
Dead. Along with the rest of the Ultimate characters who aren't Miles and The Maker.

Everyone in this book, minus Miles, is literally just a cheap imitation. They are all constructs created by Doom from his memory of the Ultimate U and 616 universe. These characters don't matter and never did.

>>78228463
Common anon. Don't be such a mouth breather.

>>78228628
how can you have a ninja in space? how those two concepts fit at all?

>>78228992
Have you ever read a book with Miles in it? The hate is well deserved. Is a worthless character.

>>78229131
I own his whole run and it really isn't but you made up your mind before his first issue even came out

>>78229172
No I didn't. I read the first 18 issues and then said "Fuck it", this character is never going to get good.

>>78227522
>I wish the SJW mods would come back, we really need Redwood back
Fuck off Redwood.

>>78228446
The point of the post is that not only was the book complete shit but the thread it was posted in is also shit. It's a double helping of shit.

fuck you bendis

>>78229771
Fuck? Like sexual intercourse?

nothing happened in this book

people pay for this? it's an event?

>>78229822
Fan-favorite writer with revolutionary Uncanny X-Men run, yo.

>>78221999
How was this book 'important'? It just showed that Bendis knew fuck all about Battleworld and that it all ends with everyone thinking it was a 'dream'.

>>78229040
He's saying the book and the thread are alike

>>78229822
An event? This?

>>78224504
>>78224556
Then why is this Peter calling Ult May and Gwen

>>78229988
>It just showed that Bendis knew fuck all about Battleworld
What do you mean?

>>78222177
Daaaaamn!!!!! Did we seriously get Spider-Milf back?!? Yessss!
Man all that future rule34...

>>78231239
Someone post all that Spider-Milf art that got made on /co/

>>78231100
>dimensions instead of domains
>Calling Doom a Baron
>Barons not knowing about other domains

>>78228628
Guardians vs Ogun soon?

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>>78224738
>I was only nine years old
>"Only nine years old?"
>Yeah, only nine years old
>I loved Bendis so much, I owned all his comics and merchandise
>"Comics and merchandise?"
>Yup, comics and merchandise
>I pray to Bendis every night, thanking him for the dialogue I have been given
>"Pray for Bendis every night?"
>Yeah, right? I pray to Bendis every fucking night...

>>78229000

I get that he (and everyone else) are constructs, but why is he calling Ultimate Aunt May?

>>78227172
There are plenty more people who wouldn't agree. After all /co/ is just the vocal minority.

>>78232417
Maybe because of Spider-Men? No idea

>>78222189
Dat jawline. That has to be Jess right?

>>78232819
I think it's supposed to be Lana.

>>78223410

Millar doesn't need the big two anymore, and he doesn't want to play with other people's toys.

Though it's probably better for him that he didn't see this firsthand. I would feel bad if something I created got put out of its misery like this.

>>78232851
Does Lana have Peter's hair or face though?

>>78222085
Is there any reason that grey Hulk here didn't trigger spider sense?

>>78233225

Does Miles Per Hour have Spider Sense?

>>78233340
No idea. I assumed he did.

>>78222079
>there are people who unironically defend Bendis
Also, don't waste your time on the memepasta.

>>78222147
>>78222153
>>78222159
>>78222166
to be fair, when you remove those 4 doubles spreads, there are still 22 pages of comics

>>78222211
Yep. It includes:
Ultimates HQ
Carol Corps HQ
Wakanda Embassy

>>78233340
Yes

>>78222046
Y'know, I'm just happy that the Mighty Avengers got acknowledged
By Bendis, no less

>>78222644
His version of the Clone Saga was alright, better than the source material.

>>78228537
THERE IS ONE GODDAMN KING AND HIS NAME IS JACK KIRBY!

>>78223664
excuse my plebness but, where does this image come from?
whats the manga?

Did this come out today? Because I didn't get it.

>>78235044
Bleach

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>>78235044
The author is in the post bruh.

>>78226659
wait what? when was a sequel to that shit announced?

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>>78222070
wtf, he saved what little of the universe he could, I bet freaking Richards told people this lie