goofus and gallant

File: Goofus_and_Gallant_-_October_1980.jpg (380KB, 900x723px) Image search: [Google]

380KB, 900x723px

That fucking Goofus, eating his fruits and vegetables like an asshole

>>77963743
>bottom left
>/g/ uses a mac.jpg

I always wondered if Gallant would one day crack after having to be perfect all the time.

>>77963715
If Goofy can turn out to be a pretty nice guy, this shit has no excuse.

File: 1940_G_G1.gif (29KB, 475x558px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 475x558px

>My, but I like your dog

what a gentlemen. Also they used to look like Peter Pan?

>>77963820
>going down the moving staircase to cut time is somehow a bad thing

File: goofus3.jpg (477KB, 620x882px) Image search: [Google]

477KB, 620x882px

this one is the most realistically achievable

>>77963787
This little shit has a hot babysitter and he's just mad he didn't get to go on mom and dad's movie night.

>>77963908
Gallant's looking pretty evil in the last panel. Are we sure it's not Goofus in disguise?

if I acted more like goofus i would probably get laid

File: 709f570d8def24542c82e30fa7a0dfbf.jpg (98KB, 620x877px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 620x877px

>>77963934
he looks like he's asking to see grandma's 'fine china'

>>77963956
Not with yer looks, be real, bro.

>>77963774
But
Ok,
What if
Goofus and Gallant are the same person?

>Goofus impregnates every hooker and has to pay for all the abortions.
>Gallant always makes sure to finely chop up the bodies and dissolve them in a tub of acid.

>>77963767
That looks more like Gallant is passing a blunt.

>>77963774
That's the scary thought, isn't it?

Not that he would actually crack, but that he wouldn't. He would keep up that perfect facade for his whole life, he would live every day with a smart, sensible head and a kind heart and he would always be his very best and do his very best.

He would wake up early, get his exercise in, do his chores, do his work better than any of his co-workers and drives and walks safely. He never shoves, never snaps and keeps his head straight no matter where he is.

And though his co-workers and friends sometimes say stuff, imagine stuff like "I bet he secretly is a freak and jacks it to weird porn" or "Unlike him, I don't work too hard I'm too good to promote!" Or "I bet his wife sleeps around/cheats on him/finds him boring", none of it is true. But they say it anyway, and he takes it in stride.

And then, one day, he's going to be on his death bed, probably fairly old due to how well he lived and how well he took care of himself, and they'll try to find some secret, something to make him out to be worse than he was, something to give a sign that nobody, nobody at all, could ever do things right like he did. But they'll never find anything, no secret perversions, no nothing, and the real scary part will be realizing you could have lived a life like that, if you were just a little stronger willed. There was no secret horror in the mind of man, it was just you.

But hey, I bet he was a furry or something.

RIP, Mr Rogers.

File: file.png (21KB, 72x117px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 72x117px

>>77964021
>That motherfucker is throwing cans again I swear to fucking god

File: april1959highlights.jpg (495KB, 620x911px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 620x911px

I like some of of the earlier comics because Goofus is more of an asshole as opposed to just slightly inconsiderate or having poor etiquette

>>77964141
>WE WILL PLAY CHECKERS.
>OBEY ME OR DIE.

>>77964074
>Gallant is Mr Rogers

HOLY SHIT THAT MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE

Wait, then who's Goofus?

Oh... oh god...

Are we all Goofus?

As adults

>Goofus is a total asshole to women and gets laid on a regular basis
>Gallant is a nice guy and always gets friend zoned.

>>77963820
>>77963850
goofus family never lived in a city

you better walk down that subway escalator in nyc

>>77963767
>comparing apples and oranges

>>77963973
Does that book say "JFK rant"?

>>77963767
Goofus seems pretty alpha desu

File: GG-1st-for11-30-02a1.jpg (476KB, 800x1109px) Image search: [Google]

476KB, 800x1109px

>implying anyone but Tom and the dog matters

>>77964304
>not liking spinach, one of the only good vegetables

>>77963803
>Goofus asks a classmate to stop being a distraction
>Gallant blesses his friends' nosebleed

>>77964259
That particular comic is from 1959, so I would guess no. Unless...

>>77964189
>>/r9k/

File: maxresdefault.jpg (91KB, 1440x1080px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 1440x1080px

>>77964362

File: 60a0f63242f7a4ad11f68c0a066683b6.jpg (119KB, 620x908px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 620x908px

>not changing the rules to make the game more fun

lame

File: 2ab01e0bc1a3d4c06c8dc8b2b996e084.jpg (118KB, 620x847px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 620x847px

>Let's eat them all before Tom gets here

But I thought he loved Tom

Goofus is correct in at least a third of these scenarios

File: 4d67678b127acda5e218f4ca30619568.jpg (90KB, 620x841px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 620x841px

>Gallant gets rabies

>>77964420
>help me play with my toys
how do you need help? is gallant impaired?

File: 1e4c9c4e4f44d0937d389546dc4ed61c.jpg (133KB, 497x720px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 497x720px

>Goofus handles things in the store

That's what those things are there for!!

>>77964202
Definitely a Goofus here

>>77964478

>Goofus tries to keep pests under control
>Gallant contributes to the downfall of the ecosystem

>>77964481
Honestly seems like a shady way of being greedy with toys. "You can HELP ME play with my toys....." but not really play with them.

>>77964526
Thank you, I was waiting for the shoops

File: 3826b77e3396edd79c4cabbe3bca9c65.jpg (134KB, 736x935px) Image search: [Google]

134KB, 736x935px

seems like Goofus is enjoying a proper childhood. It's not childhood if you're not doing unsafe things.

File: 100.png (21KB, 100x292px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 100x292px

>>77964624
gotta say, gallant has the right idea in this one

File: currentgg_lg_hires_34.jpg (824KB, 1000x967px) Image search: [Google]

824KB, 1000x967px

>his mom's face

File: oly1.50900image.jpg (68KB, 490x242px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 490x242px

[

>>77964666
It's not very Gallant of you to brag, Upamanyu.

>>77964141
WE SHALL PLAY CHECKERS, MORTAL
DO NOT QUESTION ME

File: 131430653288.png (49KB, 975x857px) Image search: [Google]

49KB, 975x857px

its HSG

>>77964304
This just makes it seem like Gallant is fucking brainwashed

This thread was a great idea, OP. Good work.

>>77964581
>throwing a small fish in the bushes

Anon, that's not having a proper childhood, that's being a huge dick.

I used to fish with my brother, and we used to THROW the fish back. It wasn't until years later I found out you are supposed to gently place them back in the water, or drop them if that's not possible. I feel like such an asshole

>>77964456
Man FUCK Tom that guy's an asshole

>>77964786
>not leaving small animals to die
Sounds like someone didn't have a proper childhood

>>77964686
That had no business making me laugh like this

>>77964711
Gallant is a little retard who thinks those elections do anything

>>77963850
You could knock someone over if you're not careful about it. And those metal steps are just plain mean to anyone who so much as stumbles on them.

>>77964711
Gallant votes for Hilary.

>>77964196
Fucking this

Jesus fuck if you're going to run down the stairs do it on the fucking stairs you piece of human garbage

File: goofusandgallant1.png (2MB, 762x1079px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 762x1079px

>>77964783

File: goofus-gallant2005a.jpg (82KB, 576x502px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 576x502px

who's right?

File: JzfKU1T.gif (1MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 640x360px

>>77963820
>standing still on the esculator

>>77964456
Wait, who's Lem?

File: old-goofus-and-gallant.jpg (67KB, 600x546px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 600x546px

>wondering why it's a bad thing he wants to read
>remembering this was made with kids actually read for entertainment, so the equivalent today would be 'they can clean up. I'd rather go watch someone else play a video game on my phone'

>>77965061
Goofus is the friend people need. All those mother fuckers we post in cringe threads just needed a friend to tell him how gay that shit was

>>77965075
probably a hippie's child

File: dont ignore me you rancid swine.jpg (60KB, 640x571px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 640x571px

>>77964189
>>77963956

Nice guys get laid all the time. All you have to do is be nice and sensitive and yet also occasionally say "hey, by the way, I like spending time with you, do you wanna fuck?" instead of hovering around a girl, shoving presents at her face and sniffing her hair when her back is turned and wondering why she didn't spontaneously drop to her knees to suck you off.

>>77965152
>Still going to make the joke
>Dissing a kid for wanting to gain knowledge

>>77965207
How to be a nice guy and get laid
1. Be nice, or at least meet the standards of common decency.
2. Don't be two faced about it, actually be nice or at least meet the standards of common decency.
3. Make your intentions clear and don't break rule number 2 when faced with rejection, especially when the counter offer is friendship.

>>77965311
>Gain knowledge
>Books

Unless it's a textbook that's not happening.

>>77965395
Do the horrible piles of shit that are that poor fucker's parents look like they keep anything but advanced calculus on their bookshelves

File: Goofus_June00.jpg (215KB, 1024x942px) Image search: [Google]

215KB, 1024x942px

yes, Gallant shares--but he's sharing a boring ol RC car, not a freaking unicycle

>>77965439
...

Fair enough.

File: GoofusApril02.jpg (256KB, 1023x942px) Image search: [Google]

256KB, 1023x942px

>goofus helps a buddy out

>>77965463
What if Goofus needs to see if that motherfucker is ALIVE you heartless fuck

File: Goofus_Feb04.jpg (187KB, 1024x951px) Image search: [Google]

187KB, 1024x951px

>chess club

>>77965538
>goofus has a nightmare his friend died and called in the morning to ease his worried mind
>gallant wants until school to see if his friend is alive

>>77965624
Yeah well no fucking shit Gallant only touches one when they're all the same.

File: GoofusV_87.jpg (278KB, 1014x1024px) Image search: [Google]

278KB, 1014x1024px

>Goofus is bad for appreciating nature

>>77965075
Vladimir Lem, dearest of all our friends

>>77963908
goofus' mom is hotter

>>77965660
>Goofus wants to be on time for school
>Gallant insists on annoying the shit out of everybody and wasting his own time for no reason

File: goofus.png (792KB, 677x595px) Image search: [Google]

792KB, 677x595px

>>77965486
>Action park.jpg

>>77965660
Who the fuck wait for everyone to finish eating?

>>77965598
>Goofus becomes a well adjusted human being
>Gallant is wracked with anxiety and paranoia for the rest of his life

File: GoofusII_88.jpg (204KB, 1024x1013px) Image search: [Google]

204KB, 1024x1013px

I'll admit Goofus is wrong for not turning in the watch, but he looks so hip and cool in that panel

also

>fuck Tim

>>77965689
>Goofus wants his team to win and bring pride to his school
>Gallant doesn't give a single shit about his team

>>77965764
>implying the teacher won't just pocket the watch

>>77965733
Used to be basic etiquette, back when people normally ate around the table with their families for dinner instead of everyone grabbing a plate and going to sit by their respective electronic device.

>>77965764
>That watch might feed Goofus' family for months
>That football was donated by Gallant's rich ass family in the first place

>>77963787
Only the most premium of pussy for Goof.

File: GoofusXII_87.jpg (283KB, 1024x991px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 1024x991px

Does anyone else get the feeling Goofus has a troubled home life?

>>77965792
>Used to
Let's keep it that way. Just because something used to be etiquette or "proper" doesn't mean it's inherently good.

>>77965792

It was annoying as fuck, too.

>Just sit there and watch me eat

How the hell is it considered courteous to sit there and just watch someone eat their fucking food?

>>77965823
>Goofus getting to play is exciting because a college scout watches all the games and he might get offered a scholarship

>>77965836
>Bitch sits on her ass all day doing nothing
>Makes Goofus do all her work
>durr why is my son maladjusted

>>77965869
Society told you it's correct so you're not allowed to question it.

File: 20fa8-tumblr_n3m99zilpz1su6zr6o4_400[1].gif (1013KB, 400x167px) Image search: [Google]

1013KB, 400x167px

>>77965061

>>77964021
>little shit not taking the trash on the way to the ball game

>>77965869
You're supposed to talk. Meals are supposed to be a social event for the family.

>>77965792
Yeah and slavery was a tradition too.

>>77965836
>Goofus attempts to stimulate the economy by creating work
>Gallant encourages work for unlivable wages

File: Goofus_III88.jpg (275KB, 1017x1024px) Image search: [Google]

275KB, 1017x1024px

>Gallant's parents can afford to buy bags of food to give away to all his friends
>Goofus' family is poor and can't afford to

So, where's the edits or OCs of Goofus and Gallant as adults with Goofus being alpha as fuck and crushing mad puss while Gallant is a beta little sub faggot?

Those exist, right?

>>77966066
I get the feeling you're not understanding how this shit works, Anon.

>>77966018
>N-NO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
Stop.

>>77966043
Is that that sorry motherfucker Tom? Christ fuck that guy Keith is so much cooler

>>77966043
>Goofus is a free thinker
>Doesn't let others push him around
>Has his own opinions
>Firmly believes that he shouldn't have to let everyone else walk all over him
Remind me why Goofus is in the wrong again.

File: b3.png (39KB, 300x265px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 300x265px

>>77966026
>>77965920
>>77965869
>>77965842
>this much butthurt over sitting for an hour or so with the family in the evening

>>77966018
And talking while you eat might lead to choking. Oh and having your food in your mouth while you talk is bad manner so you can't really talk. Oh and the food get cold if you bother talking.

>>77966086
>MOM JESUS CHRIST HE'S BLEEDING EVERYWHERE PLEASE HELP
>Mother, I believe father has cut himself.

>>77964189
No, no. They'd both get laid but
>Goofus makes it quick and is on with his week.
>Gallant plans a movie, dinner and drive and is hurting for gas and rent by the end of the month.

>>77966154
>SOCIETY TOLD ME IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO SO I DON'T QUESTION IT
Have fun with your shitty family that has to force social interaction

File: GoofusX_88.jpg (361KB, 1024x1016px) Image search: [Google]

361KB, 1024x1016px

In retrospect a lot of things Goofus does seem related to his family being poor or at least not as well off as perfect Gallant

>>77966103
Yeah I do. Goofus would be a player that goes in without a condom, gets what he wants, then bolts.
Meanwhile, Gallant would be on her hand and puss, trying to please her forever and being pulled around like a bitch.

>>77966154
Yes we get it, you're a brainwashed twat who thinks everybody should live their lives the way you did.

File: dankmemes.png (160KB, 469x401px) Image search: [Google]

160KB, 469x401px

>>77966086

File: ds.png (59KB, 270x295px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 270x295px

>>77966192
I'm sorry that your family was so terrible that sitting together once a day makes you so irrational. Is that why you relate to Goofus so much?

>>77964304
I see Goofus stays 5 star or nothing. Plebs can feel free to die.
Why are these niggas elves tho? Some sort of Changeling backstory here?

>>77963842
>>77964304
THEY WERE ELVES ALL ALONG!

>>77966255
Obey.

>>77966248
Shoulda put some horns on the mom but B for effort

>>77966248
Needs goat horns

>>77964624
>stab myself in the eye
>stab myself in the dick

File: kwovcbl.jpg (144KB, 600x389px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 600x389px

>>77966230
>>77966192

>>77966166
Have you never had a meal with another person? You generally talk to them as you eat, usually in between bites.

>>77966255
>Has to force himself to interact with family
>N-NO YOU HAVE A SHITTY FAMILY

Alright bro. Let's go over two things;
1. Not everybody has a perfect family and wants to spend every waking moment with them like the needy attention whore you are
2. GUYZ IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO BECAUSE SOCIETY SAYS SO

>>77963803
hey, he said please

>>77965486
>those kids straddling the rope

>>77964666
>That artstyle
JOHNNY JOHNNY?

>>77966392
>Oh no, somebody challenged my inchoate and childish worldview, better yell memes at them!

>>77966444
No papa

>>77965566
I wouldn't take goofus for a chess guy

>>77964563
>Semi-people
Heh, this should actually be a slur used in cyberpunk.
>You're not a real person, Jay. More like some kind of half-man.

>>77964189
Nope.

"Nice guys" are ones who hold a door open for a woman and expect to be laid for it.

The term you're looking for is a good person. Anybody could look nice, but a person has to actively be good.

Has anyone else ever read that Goofus/Gallant fanfiction, where everything is in the style of the captions

>>77966515
Gallant is basically a zombie, not a "nice guy"

>>77966281
Just the style the original artist went for, I guess. I wonder how long the elf style prevailed, some of the early Goofus & Gallant pages from that same artist look like regular kids.

>>77964304
Why are they elves here?

File: b21363f7acdc2c7756e859e01ff7ba52.jpg (206KB, 736x526px) Image search: [Google]

206KB, 736x526px

On the what?

>>77964304
>Goofus has high aspirations
>Gallant wishes better-off families would be as miserable as he is

>>77964478
Gallant's going to catch a desease from that squirrel

>>77965689
Then next year, Goofus makes the team and leads them all the way to the LLWS before losing to Japan.

HE'S GOT HEART

>>77966765
Gallant's the type to use a condom, no worries there.

>Implying Goofus and Gallant don't live together as adults

It's literally The Odd Couple.

File: mornin son.jpg (54KB, 512x534px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 512x534px

>>77963715
>you name your kid Goofus, what do you expect from him?
I expect him to dress like this.

>>77966461
TELLING LIIIIEEES?

>>77964563
Clearly letting cyborgs marry led to the downfall of civilization

>>77965764
Gallant will likely spend the entire game on the bench

>>77966933
DON'T DATE ROBOTS

>>77966927
>Goofus keeps his bathroom visits brief as a courtesy
>Gallant spends 50 minutes cleaning the bathroom while his dad who has to take a massive shit is forced to wait in agony

>>77966707
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davenport_(sofa)

Band-Aid of sofas.

>>77964189
>relationships as written by lonewolf edgetards
You're only going to get laid by acting like yourself. Putting up a facade is just going to make you look like a huge fucktard, and anyone can see straight through it.

File: gg1.png (308KB, 856x342px) Image search: [Google]

308KB, 856x342px

>implying missing a ring on a ring toss is as embarrassing as rolling a gutter ball

>>77965523
>Goofus hooks you up with the hook up, boss of all bosses 10 years later
>Gallant lets you flunk and wonders why you're on the street prostituting 10 years later

>>77964304
Anyone who doesn't like spinach is my emeny!

>>77966985
>relationships as written by middle school teachers

>>77964786
Hey, putting the fish in the bush fed some critter who wondered by, and all kinds of bugs after that. Circle of life!

>>77966086
Gallant is going to get salmonella picking up random turtles

>>77967007
>Goofus fails to win a free game, and will now not have enough money for food
>Gallant happily wastes his rich father's money on rigged carnival games

>>77966018
>supposed to talk
You got something to say better speak when I'm not eating and finna take a shit after.
Sort yourself out nakama.

>>77966043
>Sharing your food
Big mistake, parents worked their asses off to feed you, not a foster family.
If those kids need to eat they can deal on the street.

The more of these I read, the more I realize Goofus is probably a barely lupper poor class citizen, you know the type. Owns a home with a lot of debt and barely has food. Which leads to him being a terrible asshole because he has little and his parents end up terrible parents because they don't seem to be around much (off working 2 jobs each?).

Whereas Gallant is a upper middle class kid whose parents have plenty of money to throw around. Thus leading to Gallant being "generous" because his parents can easily provide for him everything.

>>77964420
As long as the other players are okay with it, what's wrong with house rules?

>>77966985
Yeah, and Goofus is acting like himself, while Gallant is being a goody two-shoes so he can feel validated, i.e. a "nice guy."

>>77964563
I'm dying of laughter.

>>77966199
>Goofus gets too much money because he's an alpha who cops a watch off the playground and stays fly as fuck.

>>77965721
It's not his mom. Goofus barged into his neighbor's home. He is goofus, afterall

>>77966927
Oh I get it now! Goofus is just stoned all the time!

>>77965792
My family still eats together at the table whenever I'm back home.

Shit I remember these, from the Highlights fo Children magazines. Used to read those all the time

>talking at the dinner table
My mom used to tell me that she loved family dinners because when I was eating was pretty much the only time I shut up.

>>77968050
damn

>>77963820
it's not a fucking ride Gallant keep walking

>>77966927
>Beatrice: Have you heard all the jokes about space aliens?
>Vergil: No, tell me one.
>Beatrice: Never mind, they're over your head
>Vergil: You're going down. Now I'm a little motivated!

>>77966504
>>77965566
he obviously wants that puss

>>77963842
Goofus rolling with the sixhead in his second panel.

is there any rule 34?

>>77968105
It's kinda true though. I mean, I even talked in my sleep.

>>77968375
damn

>>77966421
You mean the ones in the process of climbing over it what about 'em?

>>77968372
Of courshe.

>>77968372
Surprisingly enough anon, there actually is some on paheal

>>77964786
>Not killing it yourself just to watch it die

>>77965729
I want to shop an ejaculation into this so badly

>>77965367
>How to get laid
1. Be interesting.
2. Probably be physically attractive.

That's it. People pretend that niceness, or a lack thereof, is somehow necessary, while ignoring the tons of terrible and great people out there who are having sex on the regular.

The "nice guys finish last/first" meme needs to die.

File: image.jpg (16KB, 87x80px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 87x80px

>>77964141

>>77964711
but if you vote for sue she'll let you smash

>>77970796
Wise up, Gallant.
All those ballots in there, you think she's going to let them run a train if she loses? Think she's going to take shit from anyone if she wins? Lose-lose situation.
Goofus made the right choose. Besides, Karen can still get it.

File: goofus_and_gallant.jpg (774KB, 610x4360px) Image search: [Google]

774KB, 610x4360px

>>77965025

more

>>77972002
>Gallant called the police 35 minutes ago
Nice

>>77965463

>not being best bros with someone to the point where you can call them anytime you want.

>>77965836
I get the feeling his parents are just too busy banging all the time to raise him properly.

>>77963715
The part they never mention is that Gallant grows up to be a c.uck while Goofus is the one c.ucking him.

>>77964021
Why is Galant reffering to dark-skinned girl as "litter" that needs to be cleaned up?

>>77964506
What... exactly is in Mrs. Greene's purse?

>>77973360
is kek filtered now? good to know.

>>77966927
>Goofus leaves his bathroom through the door
>Gallant attempts to leave his through the towel rack

>>77963715
LOSS
IT'S LOSS PNG

>>77966043
That's easy to say if you have an entire bag full of apples, Gallant.

>ITT: "Don't Do What Donny Don't Does" They could've made this clearer.

Does anyone have that Goofus and Gallant parody with Deadpool and Captain America?

>>77964478
Squirrels are scared of everyone, and you definetly shouldn't feed them

>>77963908
>>77965721
look at those pictures, the problem is clear
goofus is raised by a single mother who's working three jobs to support his retarded ass
gallant clearly has both parents, and a grandmother who lives with them and helps raise their child

>>77973580
Here's a clue, her first name is Dank.

File: 7109921c9fb77c226c32340850826d4d.jpg (95KB, 624x630px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 624x630px

>>77963715
>>77973934

>>77963803
Who the heck gets annoyed at sneezing?

>>77966199
For some reason I read the upper left as "Goofus eats Ellen's markers without asking."

>>77974048
Deadpool did nothing wrong in this.
He can live his life how he wants to, and he's right.
Boy scouts are fucking nerds

>>77974048
Deadpool's only making fun of boyscouts because they hate fags.

>>77974202
he raped two woman

>>77974211
I think you mean because boyscouts are losers.

>>77974216
And?

>>77963715

Actually, Goofus and Gallant are dimensional analogues. Their full name is actually Goofus Gallant

Goofus lives in a morally inverted mirror universe. WHen they both grow up, Gallant is clean shaven while Goofus has a goatee

>>77964021
>raking the yard
>summer
Gallant is just better about getting out of work

>>77974302
Acorns.

>>77964173
I can bluntly state I'm Goofus. Most people are.

File: ANGRY JOURNO.png (341KB, 496x283px) Image search: [Google]

341KB, 496x283px

>>77964420
>not changing the game rules for the better

>>77974263
Nope Goofus is Gallants Tyler Durden. His rebellous side.

>>77966510
>Halfling
kekekekekeke

>>77963820
Goofus google: Chinese escalator accident. This will happen to you.

>>77964711
School elections are what tinfoil hats think about real elections. A farce with no puporse than distraction.

>>77966444
>>77966461

Fuck you

>>77966416
I think the italics are meant to imply an incredibly sarcastic "puh-leeeeze"

>>77963803
Bitch shouldn't have come to school sick.

I need more.

>>77966707
>Goofus the Green Lantern just made a sofa construct

>>77975330
>say guy I never asked. Is Guy your real name?
>.........yeah

>>77964711

> Not voting is worse then killing a dude
> Believing the illusion of choice

No wonder America is so fucked.

>>77964786
There are tons of invasive fish called gobies invading the great lakes that are actually illegal to return to the water once caught, or use as bait. The humane thing to do with them is just instakill them and throw them in bushes or nearby garbage. Gallant is fucking with the ecosystem.

>>77963767
Gallant is a pussy ass bitch who'll get walked over his entire life

>>77964420
>Not going by house rules

>>77964711
>School elections
>Ever meaning a goddamn thing
Student councils are literally meaningless. Honestly all they do is make kids act like assholes to get elected, then do nothing for an entire year. Kind of like real politics

>>77965523
Goofus is gonna get laid

>>77974211
They only hate fags because the Boy Scouts are incredibly homoerotic

>>77975647
Given the apparent age of these comics, matched against your own response, I've become genuinely curious. Has Western society always been so fucked up to the point that qualities such as "altruism" are perceived negatively?

>>77976061
No, just the guy you're responding to is like that.

>>77963787

I wouldn't say he's perfect. He's mostly just nice and neat.

>>77963743
That bottom left one should be a 4chan banner.

>>77975530
>Not voting is worse than killing a dude

Where is that implied?

>>77976061
Altruism is what greedy assholes invented to not pay their bills.

>>77974211
>Deadpool's only making fun of boyscouts because they hate fags.

They changed that rule.

>>77966504
Goofus is actually the smart one. In >>77965523 we see that he's the person other people go to for test answers and earlier he left to go read a book.

File: 1345922503478.png (5KB, 601x695px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 601x695px

>>77964074
Fuck, man... this hurts on so many levels.

>>77973490
HEIL GALLANT!

>>77965523
Just realized Goofus has a(the?) watch (same one from the playground?)
Deepest lore right now.

>>77976061
Altruism is a misnomer. True altruism is a lie. There is no human action that is completely selfless. Even jumping on top of a landmine to save your friends is a selfish act to feed your own hero complex.

>>77964458
>Goofus did nothing wrong
>Goofus was right

>>77967976
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>77965624
Goofus actually combs his hair in this one and Gallant is the dork with the bowl cut.

File: Scissorman.png (202KB, 452x500px) Image search: [Google]

202KB, 452x500px

>>77964624

>Not going with giant scissors forward.

>>77965061
>>77965974

Guess we know how Gallant turned out.

File: time to fap.png (75KB, 274x267px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 274x267px

>>77963973

>>77966799
MILES AND MILES AND MILES OF HEART

>>77965523

Okay, I would not trust any answer Goofus gives. He's either probably wrong or giving you wrong answers on purpose.

Gallant is gonna be a fucking falconier.

>>77979191
Dude did you not see, Goofus is in the fucking chess club. The guy's got brains. He just doesn't apply himself to his fullest because he knows its a waste of energy since he can get by just by being so alpha.

>>77965566
>Intellectual pursuits
>Doesn't give a shit about the basics of human decency.
>Pushes everyone around.

Goofus is really sounding like a randian at this point.

>>77964202
>Gallant has a nigger and a chink as friends
>Children, don't be like Gallant

>>77965733

It's not a mess hall. Typically you talk or something with the other people there when your done eating.

Or at least help put things away.

>>77964775
tumblr is kind of cute

>>77966043

For once Goofus has the better haircut.

>>77965566
Wait what? Chess is bad? I don't understand. What the hell is it saying? Am I missing something?

>>77966402

It's actually natural behavior. Goes beyond society and culture.

Why do you run away from your family? Are you afraid they'll steal your food?

>>77979492
It's bad to invoke peer pressure to get someone to do something they didn't want to do.

File: 14444692702360.jpg (45KB, 381x604px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 381x604px

>>77966043
Thats EXACTLY why i NEVER eat in front of others.
Because i feel that i will look like an asshole if i wont share my food but im also hungry and totally need to eat it all.
Holy shit i dont even remember when i ate something in front of people.

>other day someone offers me a Christmas cookie
>say no thanks
>they keep pressuring me to take it
>get nervous

I don't know what Goofus and/or Gallant would've done, but I think I'm perfectly in the right to not force feed myself some sugar dough just to please someone else.

>>77975635

Great Lakes are the beaten rape victims of ecosystems. If you're not pumping industrial waste then no one cares.

>>77979231

He also has never shared or helped a person out in his life.

Yeah, he'd laugh in your face when you fail that test.

>>77980065
What? He's eating cookies with his buddy right here >>77966927. He just shares with people he likes.

>>77966018
my dad always got mad when we were talking at the dinner table

>>77976061
No, we're just suffering in the middle of a fucked, diseased culture that's spewed out from 1960s America and devoured the Western world, which is going to result in the downfall of liberal society and the rise of Chinese dominance of humanity forever.

>>77965523
>movie falcons

So hang on, am I the only one who thought they were brothers? I was surprised to find so many people in this thread who didn't seem to think so.

>>77983158
I thought so too. Are they not?

>>77976061
This is 4chan, home of as many malcontent teenagers as it can fit. Of course there'll be moronic tryhard assholes like that.

>>77980161
Who said those were Goofus' cookies?

>>77983199
They clearly have different parents.

>>77983158
In 25 years that thought never entered my mind, no. It's pretty clear they have different parents.

File: 1440366674893.jpg (35KB, 554x439px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 554x439px

>>77963787
If my parents saddled me with that haircut I'd be salty too.

File: 00.jpg (50KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 500x333px

>>77964202
>phone rings
>it's a classmate I haven't seen or spoken in >5 years
> "Hey man, long time no see! How's it going these days?
>Oh, you called the wrong number? Oh, no, that's okay, don't worry about it. Good luck! Bye!"
>mfw

Yeah nah, Goofus' method can avoid a lot of awkwardness and feels in some cases.

>>77966043
>Gallant is friends with Harry Potter

>>77974048
And DP is now funding Cap's Avengers.

>>77965207
This, those "nice guys" who are entirely sexually motivated get passed over not because women prefer chad to nice guys, but because they prefer chad to failed chad.

>>77965025

A previous threads saying that these sound like creepy lyrics was apt.

>>77966927

Goofuses be leavin tha batroom like dis, while Gallants are all leavin da batroom like dis

>>77966533
This one?
http://verywrongslash.livejournal.com/507.html

File: 1411351951987.jpg (19KB, 340x340px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 340x340px

>>77993581
>Goofus doesn't wear underwear.

>Gallant realizes that Goofus doesn't wear underwear.

Jesus christ this is golden

>>77979231
I think it's odd that people keep making definitive statements on their personalities when all we see are brief moments of their lives. Maybe Goofus is just an asshole, maybe he's just a good kid with bad impulse control who makes heartfelt apologies off-panel. Maybe Gallant is simply a good citizen, maybe he's trying to look good so nobody suspects he's been running a money laundering operation through the school bake sale. Maybe they're both totally normal kids, Goofus just gets caught doing bad stuff and Gallant always gets caught doing good stuff.

>>77968372
>Goofus never returns the favor when given a blowjob
>Gallant always makes sure to give a reacharound

>>77963715
You just know Gallant is crushing pussy left and right.

>>77964420
Goofus is one of those unbearable faggots who puts taxes in the center and has them as a reward for landing on Free Parking

>>77965566
>Gallant is gallant enough not to be ogling that girl's ass.

>>77967630
Sorry, but Goofus' parents go out and do normal couple things together, and seem to be doing well financially

At the end of the day, the kid is just an assholes

>>77963850
this.
it's actually considered rude in some places if you dont move.

>>77963769
Someone make this plz!

>>77964563
>goofus eats his own young

I'm literally crying.

>>77974092
maybe the girl was sneezing over and over. I had a friend with a persistent cough due to a lung problem and kids would get mad at her for coughing, even though she couldn't help it. Those kids were Goofus.

>>77993581
Hotter and funnier than it has any right to be.

>>77964173
Does that mean Gallant loves Goofus just the way he is?

>>77965733
Well-mannered people, you brute

>>77964189
please sir, project even harder

>>77964563
"I regret to inform you that this shelter is fully occupied."

I just lost it.

>>77969291
Also, it's like comedy. Know your audience. Different people have different tastes. Some people like terrible people. Ah well. Not worth your time anyway.

>Goofus downs well drinks and shoves singles into the g-string of the stripper that gave him a handjob that one time
>Gallant inquires about bottle service in the champagne room

>Gallant: "You're looking well today, Mrs. Thompson."
>Goofus: "Fuck, Tom, I wanna get all up in your mom's guts."

>Gallant is considerate and respectful towards everyone's racial heritage.
>Goofus is a Washington Redskins fan.

>>77973360
God you look stupid adding . into words.

>>77974228
Feel the EDGE.

>>77983443
Some of us old fags remain, now we are malcontent adults.

This thread explains a lot, like why americans go to the supermarket in their pajamas and bathrobes.

You're a bunch of uncultured brutes with absolutely no sense of common courtesy.

>>77965207
>Don't ignore me you rancid swine

You know, I've never felt so offended at someone ignoring me to act so bitter like that. What causes people to think that insults will help in a situation like that?

>>77964202
I don't get it. Most of these comics try to make Goofus seem like an asshole, but here it just seems like he's got an anxiety disorder.

>>77965836
That's pretty fucked up as a message.

>if you're a worker you should never try to improve your station and you should just do as you're told

What the fuck.

>>77963743
look at all that forced representation of minority skin color in this shit. Get your shit together Highlights, Jesus Christ!

The truth is that you should be somewhere between the two.

Have Goofus's self-confidence and self-esteem, but have Gallant's good nature.

>>78002580
Just the top one, maybe, but in the bottom he got his ass into a mess because he was too lazy to do his homework the night before.

>>77964563
JUST LIKE CHICKEN

>>77965463
>Goofus informs his friends post haste of the sweet pussy he papped last night
>Gallant didn't get any the lil' bitch

>>77976061
>Has Western society always been so fucked up to the point that qualities such as "altruism" are perceived negatively?

No. Time-aborting Ayn Rand would retroactively fix it.

>>78002871
The message is help out around the house even if you don't get paid.

>>77965764
Check out that angry kid behind Goofus. I bet it's his watch but he's too much of a puss to say anything.

>>77963820
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOMZ-Buj2n0

>>77963715
Although in fairness, only half of what Goofus is doing is really necessarily stupid, albeit in a very serious fashion.

Asking WHY he should would be something that would be more important today than when this was made, when Gallant doing what he was told like a good little trooper would have been universally more desirable, even though really, wondering why you are doing something is obviously more intelligent and healthy and well balanced.

Not that it doesn't piss parents off something fierce or just make them plain tired. You hope for the child that just does stuff, but the continual joke that always works (because it's so true) is kids ask a lot of fucking questions, about everything.

So really, it's more balanced than it seems, although Gallant is better set up to survive to adulthood and pass on his genes because he has horse sense about "big stuff" that's going to get him killed, whereas Goofus might by some standards, be smarter, if in a more intellectual or possibly even autistic/spergy fashion because he doesn't have the sense to avoid getting run over by a car, but he wants to know why he should brush his teeth.

>>77964478
fuck goofus here

File: thatkid.jpg (1MB, 2000x1563px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2000x1563px

>>77963803
>>77963787
I KNEW I recognized that haircut somewhere!

>he dun goofed hard

>>78005026
>Asking WHY he should would be something that would be more important today than when this was made
what

>>77967007
Man, Goofus isn't even being a dick here, he's just bummed out. Is Highlights saying it's wrong to feel disappointed or sad?

>>77964775
Why did they draw tumblr like a qt

>>78006563
No. They're actually saying that Gallant is secretly an android.

File: 90.gif (388KB, 267x199px) Image search: [Google]

388KB, 267x199px

>>77964074
Fucking beautiful.

>>78006766
This was before tumblr became as bad as it did

hsg was still shit though and I'm glad most of them don't post as much anymore

>>78000490
what

File: hsgoofus.png (677KB, 1063x1045px) Image search: [Google]

677KB, 1063x1045px

>>78007101
I kind of miss it.

File: 1448232560346.gif (927KB, 700x550px) Image search: [Google]

927KB, 700x550px

>>77963803
>sneezing in your hand

Disgusting. Everyone knows arm is the way to go.

>>78005496
Nit him but he means that a child being curious is more important these days than when the comic was originally written.

>>78000277
Made me laugh

Also
>>78000000