I mean, you name your kid Goofus, what do you expect from him?
That fucking Goofus, eating his fruits and vegetables like an asshole
>My, but I like your dog
what a gentlemen. Also they used to look like Peter Pan?
he looks like he's asking to see grandma's 'fine china'
That's the scary thought, isn't it?
Not that he would actually crack, but that he wouldn't. He would keep up that perfect facade for his whole life, he would live every day with a smart, sensible head and a kind heart and he would always be his very best and do his very best.
He would wake up early, get his exercise in, do his chores, do his work better than any of his co-workers and drives and walks safely. He never shoves, never snaps and keeps his head straight no matter where he is.
And though his co-workers and friends sometimes say stuff, imagine stuff like "I bet he secretly is a freak and jacks it to weird porn" or "Unlike him, I don't work too hard I'm too good to promote!" Or "I bet his wife sleeps around/cheats on him/finds him boring", none of it is true. But they say it anyway, and he takes it in stride.
And then, one day, he's going to be on his death bed, probably fairly old due to how well he lived and how well he took care of himself, and they'll try to find some secret, something to make him out to be worse than he was, something to give a sign that nobody, nobody at all, could ever do things right like he did. But they'll never find anything, no secret perversions, no nothing, and the real scary part will be realizing you could have lived a life like that, if you were just a little stronger willed. There was no secret horror in the mind of man, it was just you.
But hey, I bet he was a furry or something.
RIP, Mr Rogers.
>That motherfucker is throwing cans again I swear to fucking god
I like some of of the earlier comics because Goofus is more of an asshole as opposed to just slightly inconsiderate or having poor etiquette
>implying anyone but Tom and the dog matters
>not changing the rules to make the game more fun
>Let's eat them all before Tom gets here
But I thought he loved Tom
>Goofus handles things in the store
That's what those things are there for!!
seems like Goofus is enjoying a proper childhood. It's not childhood if you're not doing unsafe things.
gotta say, gallant has the right idea in this one
>throwing a small fish in the bushes
Anon, that's not having a proper childhood, that's being a huge dick.
I used to fish with my brother, and we used to THROW the fish back. It wasn't until years later I found out you are supposed to gently place them back in the water, or drop them if that's not possible. I feel like such an asshole
>wondering why it's a bad thing he wants to read
>remembering this was made with kids actually read for entertainment, so the equivalent today would be 'they can clean up. I'd rather go watch someone else play a video game on my phone'
Nice guys get laid all the time. All you have to do is be nice and sensitive and yet also occasionally say "hey, by the way, I like spending time with you, do you wanna fuck?" instead of hovering around a girl, shoving presents at her face and sniffing her hair when her back is turned and wondering why she didn't spontaneously drop to her knees to suck you off.
How to be a nice guy and get laid
1. Be nice, or at least meet the standards of common decency.
2. Don't be two faced about it, actually be nice or at least meet the standards of common decency.
3. Make your intentions clear and don't break rule number 2 when faced with rejection, especially when the counter offer is friendship.
yes, Gallant shares--but he's sharing a boring ol RC car, not a freaking unicycle
I'll admit Goofus is wrong for not turning in the watch, but he looks so hip and cool in that panel
Used to be basic etiquette, back when people normally ate around the table with their families for dinner instead of everyone grabbing a plate and going to sit by their respective electronic device.
Does anyone else get the feeling Goofus has a troubled home life?
>Bitch sits on her ass all day doing nothing
>Makes Goofus do all her work
>durr why is my son maladjusted
Society told you it's correct so you're not allowed to question it.
>Gallant's parents can afford to buy bags of food to give away to all his friends
>Goofus' family is poor and can't afford to
>Goofus is a free thinker
>Doesn't let others push him around
>Has his own opinions
>Firmly believes that he shouldn't have to let everyone else walk all over him
Remind me why Goofus is in the wrong again.
>this much butthurt over sitting for an hour or so with the family in the evening
And talking while you eat might lead to choking. Oh and having your food in your mouth while you talk is bad manner so you can't really talk. Oh and the food get cold if you bother talking.
In retrospect a lot of things Goofus does seem related to his family being poor or at least not as well off as perfect Gallant
Yeah I do. Goofus would be a player that goes in without a condom, gets what he wants, then bolts.
Meanwhile, Gallant would be on her hand and puss, trying to please her forever and being pulled around like a bitch.
I'm sorry that your family was so terrible that sitting together once a day makes you so irrational. Is that why you relate to Goofus so much?
>Has to force himself to interact with family
>N-NO YOU HAVE A SHITTY FAMILY
Alright bro. Let's go over two things;
1. Not everybody has a perfect family and wants to spend every waking moment with them like the needy attention whore you are
2. GUYZ IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO BECAUSE SOCIETY SAYS SO
"Nice guys" are ones who hold a door open for a woman and expect to be laid for it.
The term you're looking for is a good person. Anybody could look nice, but a person has to actively be good.
Just the style the original artist went for, I guess. I wonder how long the elf style prevailed, some of the early Goofus & Gallant pages from that same artist look like regular kids.
>you name your kid Goofus, what do you expect from him?
I expect him to dress like this.
>relationships as written by lonewolf edgetards
You're only going to get laid by acting like yourself. Putting up a facade is just going to make you look like a huge fucktard, and anyone can see straight through it.
>implying missing a ring on a ring toss is as embarrassing as rolling a gutter ball
The more of these I read, the more I realize Goofus is probably a barely lupper poor class citizen, you know the type. Owns a home with a lot of debt and barely has food. Which leads to him being a terrible asshole because he has little and his parents end up terrible parents because they don't seem to be around much (off working 2 jobs each?).
Whereas Gallant is a upper middle class kid whose parents have plenty of money to throw around. Thus leading to Gallant being "generous" because his parents can easily provide for him everything.
>Beatrice: Have you heard all the jokes about space aliens?
>Vergil: No, tell me one.
>Beatrice: Never mind, they're over your head
Vergil: You're going down. Now I'm a little motivated!
>How to get laid
1. Be interesting.
2. Probably be physically attractive.
That's it. People pretend that niceness, or a lack thereof, is somehow necessary, while ignoring the tons of terrible and great people out there who are having sex on the regular.
The "nice guys finish last/first" meme needs to die.
Wise up, Gallant.
All those ballots in there, you think she's going to let them run a train if she loses? Think she's going to take shit from anyone if she wins? Lose-lose situation.
Goofus made the right choose. Besides, Karen can still get it.
look at those pictures, the problem is clear
goofus is raised by a single mother who's working three jobs to support his retarded ass
gallant clearly has both parents, and a grandmother who lives with them and helps raise their child
Actually, Goofus and Gallant are dimensional analogues. Their full name is actually Goofus Gallant
Goofus lives in a morally inverted mirror universe. WHen they both grow up, Gallant is clean shaven while Goofus has a goatee
>not changing the game rules for the better
There are tons of invasive fish called gobies invading the great lakes that are actually illegal to return to the water once caught, or use as bait. The humane thing to do with them is just instakill them and throw them in bushes or nearby garbage. Gallant is fucking with the ecosystem.
>Ever meaning a goddamn thing
Student councils are literally meaningless. Honestly all they do is make kids act like assholes to get elected, then do nothing for an entire year.
Kind of like real politics
Given the apparent age of these comics, matched against your own response, I've become genuinely curious. Has Western society always been so fucked up to the point that qualities such as "altruism" are perceived negatively?
Fuck, man... this hurts on so many levels.
Altruism is a misnomer. True altruism is a lie. There is no human action that is completely selfless. Even jumping on top of a landmine to save your friends is a selfish act to feed your own hero complex.
>Not going with giant scissors forward.
Dude did you not see, Goofus is in the fucking chess club. The guy's got brains. He just doesn't apply himself to his fullest because he knows its a waste of energy since he can get by just by being so alpha.
Thats EXACTLY why i NEVER eat in front of others.
Because i feel that i will look like an asshole if i wont share my food but im also hungry and totally need to eat it all.
Holy shit i dont even remember when i ate something in front of people.
>other day someone offers me a Christmas cookie
>say no thanks
>they keep pressuring me to take it
I don't know what Goofus and/or Gallant would've done, but I think I'm perfectly in the right to not force feed myself some sugar dough just to please someone else.
No, we're just suffering in the middle of a fucked, diseased culture that's spewed out from 1960s America and devoured the Western world, which is going to result in the downfall of liberal society and the rise of Chinese dominance of humanity forever.
If my parents saddled me with that haircut I'd be salty too.
>it's a classmate I haven't seen or spoken in >5 years
> "Hey man, long time no see! How's it going these days?
>Oh, you called the wrong number? Oh, no, that's okay, don't worry about it. Good luck! Bye!"
Yeah nah, Goofus' method can avoid a lot of awkwardness and feels in some cases.
>Goofus doesn't wear underwear.
>Gallant realizes that Goofus doesn't wear underwear.
Jesus christ this is golden
I think it's odd that people keep making definitive statements on their personalities when all we see are brief moments of their lives. Maybe Goofus is just an asshole, maybe he's just a good kid with bad impulse control who makes heartfelt apologies off-panel. Maybe Gallant is simply a good citizen, maybe he's trying to look good so nobody suspects he's been running a money laundering operation through the school bake sale. Maybe they're both totally normal kids, Goofus just gets caught doing bad stuff and Gallant always gets caught doing good stuff.
maybe the girl was sneezing over and over. I had a friend with a persistent cough due to a lung problem and kids would get mad at her for coughing, even though she couldn't help it. Those kids were Goofus.
>Don't ignore me you rancid swine
You know, I've never felt so offended at someone ignoring me to act so bitter like that. What causes people to think that insults will help in a situation like that?
Although in fairness, only half of what Goofus is doing is really necessarily stupid, albeit in a very serious fashion.
Asking WHY he should would be something that would be more important today than when this was made, when Gallant doing what he was told like a good little trooper would have been universally more desirable, even though really, wondering why you are doing something is obviously more intelligent and healthy and well balanced.
Not that it doesn't piss parents off something fierce or just make them plain tired. You hope for the child that just does stuff, but the continual joke that always works (because it's so true) is kids ask a lot of fucking questions, about everything.
So really, it's more balanced than it seems, although Gallant is better set up to survive to adulthood and pass on his genes because he has horse sense about "big stuff" that's going to get him killed, whereas Goofus might by some standards, be smarter, if in a more intellectual or possibly even autistic/spergy fashion because he doesn't have the sense to avoid getting run over by a car, but he wants to know why he should brush his teeth.
I KNEW I recognized that haircut somewhere!
>he dun goofed hard
>sneezing in your hand
Disgusting. Everyone knows arm is the way to go.
>Gallant is surprised that Goofus doesn't have a condom.
>Goofus is surprised that Gallant has a condom.
>Goofus is looking for one of those 'foil swans' in her purse
>Gallant touches personal things without consent
>Goofus asks his friend to help his father do their taxes
>Gallant is physically touching the desk, contradicting his words
>How cold is this fucking store in the bottom panels?
>Goofus lures his victims into dark alleyways
>Gallant constructs a dedicated kill room for each victim
>Goofus leaves the body and drops his weapon in the trash a block over
>Gallant disposes all the evidence discretely
>Goofus panics when the cops show up at his door
>Gallant refuses to say anything without his lawyer
>Goofus cracks, and confesses everything
>Gallant feigns ignorance, even as the bodies are found under his floor
>Goofus shares the names of his friends for a shorter sentence.
>Gallant knows what happens to rats.
>Goofus tries to steal his cellmate's shiv.
>Gallant makes his own shivs and trades them for cigarettes.
>Goofus tries to pick a fight with the perceived Alpha prisoner to intimidate other prisonmates
>Gallant goes through the proper channels of his local chapter of the Aryan brotherhood for protection
There was a thread a while back where it was suggested that Panda Delgado and Golden Gal (a /co/ OC) were the goofus and gallant of stacked girls.
I can't remember all of them and archive is kill.
>Golden Gal always keep her room tidy
>Panda leaves sweaty bras hanging off doorknobs
other people had stuff like
>Golden Gal informs the police after detaining a criminal
>Panda performs a body search first
>Golden Gal volunteers at the senior's center
>Panda volunteers with the boy scouts
Pretty sure Goofus faps into used panties, Gallant practices his Kegals while jerking off.
Goofus faps to his own mom. Gallant faps to Goofus's mom.
Goofus posts futa on /aco/. Gallant dumps Slipshine comics.
I'd say Goofus has more clingy tendencies.
Leaving dinner early is his only way of getting back. "See how it feels Mom and Dad? It doesn't feel good does it? YOU MADE ME THIS WAY"
Goofus isn't in foster care, because everyone who does believe him is in on it. The list of people who know about and participate in the abuse is surprisingly large.
Goofus's life blows.
When I was in middle school I specifically asked not to be elected class prime minister as I didn't think myself capable of handling the responsibilities that came with the position. I won by a landslide because my classmates were assholes but was thankfully dismissed from office by the class governor general (teacher.)
Actually, if his family beats the shit out of him verbally and physically it would make a lot of sense why he wouldn't want to sit with them. There's also the cases of ya know, molestation, spousal abuse, questioning.
Not every dinner is sitting down with your family for an hour and shooting the shit. Most people use 4chan as an outlet. So if you're here theres a good chance something ain't right.
True. If you want to get laid, then it's either:
1. Be interesting
2. Probably be physically attractive
B) Have lots of money
It's never really a matter of niceness or not being nice.
To be fair, anon was replying to a chain that had gems such as
>Have fun with your shitty family that has to force social interaction
>spend every waking moment with them like the needy attention whore you are
>Yeah and slavery was a tradition too.
>How the hell is it considered courteous to sit there and just watch someone eat their fucking food?
I can get not having a family life where you want to sit with them; but the other anon(s) were acting as if it's messed up to sit with family, akin to slavery, and is something that has to be forced and is done for attention.