/co/ quotes you use all the time

>Whenever I meet two people with the same name.
"I'm seein' double! Four __________ !

>>77936808

>"___, eh? Maude, eh?"

If I think something is expesnsive

>"<insert amount> dollary doos?!"

Not australian, but new zealander which is close enough i guess

I answer the phone with
>>"Ahoy Ahoy?"
My friend fell on the floor laughing when he saw it was from the Simpsons.

The first non brazillian time traveller

> The whole world must learn of our peaceful ways, by force!

Gets used by someone in my Civilization group every match

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Not Simpsons, but...

>I don't get mad. I get stabby.

>"Fetch me musket!"

I don't know why I started saying this but I've been doing it for years if I need my sister to pass me something, it's from Corpse Bride.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG6lmHOM39c

On almost any occasion, my dad says this to me and my brother

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>Out me way
and
>Manny Manwhel
I don't know how to actually say it, I just say it like I heard it
Just never out loud

>That's just Prime.

>>77938574
There's a guy that puts on a fake accent and fucks with people in SecondLife who said something pretty similar.

"Your ass is grass, and I will mow it for a small fee"

>MORE ASBESTOS
>MORE ASBESTOS
Any time i hear the word. I can't help it.

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>I'm LEARNING!

Whenever anyone tries to show or teach me something.

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F

I

R

M

L

Y

>Anon, you diabolical!
and
>Quick! To the Bee Mobile!
Which works great as my name starts with B so people who don't get it assume it has to do with my name.

>Look at it!
>Look at it!
>LOOK AT IT

>"WE'RE ON A BABY HUNT, AND DONT THINK WE DONT KNOW HOW TO WEEEEEED EM OUT"

I thought I was the only one, OP.

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>I'm in the street

>"That's it, back to Winnipeg!"

I'm often a sober driver

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"YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD! YOU"RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD!"

not really a quote, but I try to get hankgasms out of people by pretending to be bobby hill and saying something that would really disappoint hank

its always "Hey dad! ______!"

Hey dad! look I got my ear pierced!

Hwhat!?

My friend can mumble exactly like Rolfe from EEnE, and just does it randomly.

It's funny every time.

>GYME
>dollarydoos
>scrumdiddlyumptious

The health inspector episode of Spongebob
>There is no___! There's never been any___! ___ is just a myth!

Pretty much any time someone asks me for something I don't have.

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"Lavate las manos!"

Every time I wash my hands at work. I work at a restaurant so I use it a lot.

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>being such a sperg you regurgitate cartoon phrases

I often use "Ohiya ____"
(which if you've forgotten, comes from a Simpsons joke about revealing the state they're in.
"The address is 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, Ohiya Maude!" (Maude appears in the doorway with food or something))

>>77936808
I still don't get this joke.

From The Great Dolemite dub of Charlie Brown:

>ME AND MRS JONES
>WE GOT A THING GOIN' ONNN

>"Don't you worry about ___, let me worry about blank!"

>>77940823
Is English not your first language?

>>77940823
He's dumb and can't read very well.

>>77936808
hell yes this one right here mother fucker

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>Tell them I hate them!

>>77940981
Nope.

>>77938442
You mean from Bell himself.

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>halfass the fuck out of something
>"ACHH, that should dewww it."
still to this day

>N'yello?
>D'oh!
>God-fucking-dammit, seriously?

>>77940823

>fat guy WOULD be ignorant to the pronunciation of gym now that i think about it

confirming preconceptions

>>77941012

the professor might be the most quotable ITT.

>good news everyone!

>>77941012
PROFESSOR
LAVA
HOT

>There's your answer, fishbulb.

>>77941151
Why are... those things?

>>77941014
Depending on the word, "y" can have an "eee" or an "ai" or a "yuh" sound.

The joke is that Homer is so unused to going to the gym (gymnasium, workout center, athletic club) that he doesn't even know how it's pronounced when he reads it.

>>77941223
He also uses a hard G instead of a soft one.

>>77941273
Well to be fair that's more correct with regards the original greek.

>>77941223
Same guy who asked.
I thought there was more to that.

>>77941273
Yeah. It's like the old joke, you can spell "FISH" like "GHOTI" if you pronounce the letters the way they are said in certain words.

>>77941293
Nobody knows what the fuck ancient languages were pronounced like. But we will, once scientists get off their asses and invent the Flux Capacitor.

I like to say yes like how Beast Wars Megatron says it. I've yet to meet someone who picked up on it.

>>77941314
Well, he also then walks into the "gyme" (pronounced "jim") and then goes "Ohh. A GYME." still pronouncing it wrong even though he clearly recognizes what the building is.

>>77941012
>If you need me, I'll be in my angry dome.

>>77938574
>Oh wait, something's happening. She's turning into a real girl. No, wait, he's turning into a mannequin. Oh, never mind, nothing's happening.
Swap out the parts about the mannequin with something relevant.

>>77938673
You talking about Esteban?

Lately I've been using Mordecai's "Aw ye-yeah" or however you write it.

X DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

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>Why don't you try speaking in words instead of your damn dirty LIES?

>>77939992
My friend answers my phone calls like Rolf and I lose it every time.
>"WHAT IS IT NOW FLAT-DOODLED BEN-BOY?"

Tons of SpongeBob quotes. One in particular I often use around my /fit/ brother:

>You there, crustacean!
>You have the physique of Atlas!

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>I'm pretty sure I was in Sausalito that day...
IM PRETTY SURE YOU WEREN'T, GENE!

>>77944205
Do you flex together too?

>>77938585

MY NIGGA

>>77938460
I never understood this joke.

>YOINK!
>You're the reason God doesn't talk to us anymore!
>Those have NOT been in asses.
>Referring to money as "Fliff"

Anytime someone answers the phone I ask "is it about my cube"?

Changed my friend's name on my phone to Roger, he laughs everytime he texts me because he knows I always say "got a text from mah boi Rog"

>>77944286
In a thread a while ago some people said that Homer's VA confused "non-fictional" with "non-brazilian" and the staff decided to go with that because that would be something Homer only would say.

>>77941151
I was always a fan of
>"The Professy will help!"
>"Ow! Fire indeed hot!"

>>77944327
>In a thread a while ago some people said that Homer's VA confused "non-fictional" with "non-brazilian" and the staff decided to go with that because that would be something Homer only would say.
Holy shit thats hilarious. I love when this kind of thing happens.

>>77944352
I always say bloops when I drop something like Amy.

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>>77936808
> simpons quotes
> just one

Whenever someone edits something or I see graffiti

>"Squidward smells...GOOOOOD."

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Whenever I take my friends on a surprise trip somewhere (even if it's just the grocery store) I tell them we're going to BLIPS AND CHIIIIIIIIITZ

>>77944633
They must be so disappointed in you.

>>77936808
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY-xOGetSHc

>Everytime something returns
>"Remember _____? It's back, in Pog form!"

I've called the CTRL key "Catarl" all my life.

this sounds cringeworthy as fuck

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When I see a big animal or something I say

>"A la grande le puse Cuca"

Also

>"Se dice A TO MI CO"

>>77944726
Then you must have no friends.

>>77944659
>"Hello I don't like fun."

>>77944800
Everybody likes fun.
That's why saying you're going to Blips and Chitz and then pulling into a Walmart is disappointing.

>Ehh, needs more dog

Kronk's "ahh right, the X" line sometimes

>>77944726
Humans like jokes

>>77940823

Homer sees a gym and appears to be unable to properly pronounce it. Mild laugh: Homer is stupid.

Then Homer enters the gym and sees that it is a gym. After chuckling at his own ignorance, he knowingly identifies it as a gym. However, for whatever reason, Homer still completely mispronounces the word gym. He believes he is no longer ignorant, but he is still ignorant to an extent. A bigger laugh is generated by the absurdity of his ignorance.

>>77944944
>How long has that been there?
>What? How did you get here before us?
and of course
>PULL THE LEVER, KRONK

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>Mr. Simpson NOOOOOOO

>It's all coming up, _____!

A la grande le puse cuca.

English isn't my first language so I just call it a gyme. Always. People think I'm retarded.

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>>77944461
Fuckin kek, I'm doing this now

>>77944776
my (latin) nigga

>>77944715
>tfw ever since I heard he said it, I can't stop calling it that
>now instead of CTRL + F, I press Catarl + F

>>77944461
*sniff*
LIIIILAAAAC

I think people have forgotten what Mr. Burns was like when he was written well.

"Get me Stephen Spielberg!"
"He's unavailable."
"Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent!"

"Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, BUT MINE WORKED, DAMNIT! Now go out there and WIN ME THAT FESIVAL!"

>Friend talks about any problem: medical, financial, relationship, etc.
>"Holy smokes! You need booze!"

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Relatively new but friends and I are getting a lot of mileage out of "Bitches, right?"

IT'S TIME TO SHIT

The only thing I use is Amy's "guh" instead of "duh".

>>77938585
Holy shit, other people do this?!

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I AM NOW LEAVING, FOR NO RAISIN

>>77938647
woah
are you dr smoove?

>>77939624
holy shit anon!
i was playing that the other day
so many memories, kids will never have a period of time like the early 2000's and flash being a dominate thing to animate with and make games with.

god damn man
god damn

>>77944086
Probably my favorite to use

You really think someone would do that, go on the internet and tell lies?

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>"Zappity zap zap"
>"oh no a shriek of terror! Dad's home!"
>"I'm all dressed up and ready to go guys! "
>"Hi we're with the animal hospital and we understand you have a dying animal in the premises."
>"Are mom's girls? "

>>77936808

>"I AM SO SMART! S,M,R,T!

>"I have to go now. My planet needs me."

>>77944683
>Came for Kamen Rider reference
>Received one

Thank you anon.

>>77939760

It's not from a comic or cartoon, but this reminded me of "You got about twelve feet!"

>crunch

"Perfect!"

>>77944287
NOT EVEN COUNTIN IT

>>77941012

>Do a flip!

>>77947473

BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN

>tfw accidentally typed GRAIN instead of BRAIN

seems like my big brain am not winning

whenever I see roadkill

>uhuhuhuh it's flat, and it's dead uhuhuhuhu

Whenever me and my friend insult someone with a specific title

>Now he may be a liar, a cheat, a ___, but he is not a pornstar!

>Fine! I'll do my own ____, with hookers and blackjack! And you know what? Forget the blackjack and the ____!

> friend use to leave his window open
Jumped through with my hood on and shouted "AHH! I'm the open window maniac! "
> He ran screaming outside
"I hope you learned a valuable lesson! "

https://youtu.be/M9x_koRZ2bA?t=49s

I've quoted this often and it's fun saying bitch like that too

>>77936808
THAT'S IT, BACK TO WINNIPEG

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>>77944461
Noice.

Bathroom stall graffiti related,
I use a Sharpie a lot at work so I usually have one in my back pocket so I've developed a habit of writing "GARY WAS HERE. ASH IS A LOSER." on every bathroom wall I visit.

>>77941151
I end up saying this whenever I tell someone something won't work or do whatever they want.

They always look at me weird, and I don't give a shit.

>>77948782
That was bender, but it's still a great line.
I quote it all the time.

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Pretty much every word in Simpsons, Futurama, Spongebob, etc. that's said incorrectly, I use in my daily vocabulary
>for no raisin
>"Weast" instead of west
>dollarydoos
>ctrl is CATARL

>>77950959
My usual go-to for wherever something isn't working at my office is
>FUCK, even in the future nothing works.
because no matter who you're with, at least one person will get it.

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>>77936808
me and my friends always say "YOU SICK MONSTER" ,from chowder, in reaction to a slight offense

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZuktUfF0nE

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>>77950978
I almost got my ass beat because of that line.
>2013
>walking through Fort Worth drunk as fuck with a few friends
>see a small crowd staring at a guy standing on the ledge of some building
>drunk brain thinks he's a street performer, totally ignoring the fact there were like 3 cop cars, an ambulance and a fire truck there
>yell "Do a flip!"
>people fucking glared at me
>one dude got in my face screaming "DUDE YOU THINK YOU'RE FUCKING FUNNY, HUH, YOU THINK THIS IS SOME JOKE? etc. etc."
>look at guy yelling
>look at guy on ledge
>look back at guy yelling
>start processing the situation
>mfw
>say "Haha whoops."
>stagger off hearing people talk shit in the background

My friends still haven't let that go...

>>77939760
It'll buff out.

I like to say the word "cigar" how Steve said it in that episode of American Dad

>A CIGAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>77947508
lel you're taking me back to 2010, anon.

also,
>Kiss my asphalt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDGlN6mluGA

>>77944066
Merchandise spells it "YEAHUH!" or something.

>>77946247
He really was great

>Ramones playing at Mr. Burns birthday

Christopher Ward: Go to hell, you old bastard!
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us.
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't the...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Whenever I call my best friend or leave him a voice message, i'll say
>Hey, hey you! I'm Marty Mailbox
or
>Hey, hey you! I'm Teddy Treebark!
Or we just randomly quote the password from that one episode where Eddy says "The Crow caws at midnight" "Yes, and the cat swallows the bagel"

>>77951409
I'd party with you

>>77951409
Don't be sad anon, Bender would have literally done the same thing

>>77951331
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T!

>>77952276
Nice. When I ask my friend a question and he doesn't know the answer he responds with
>Only the claw knows!

If it's been awhile since we've seen each other I greet him with
>What, no flowers?

>It's time to SHIT
>Bitch to be you right now

>>77950617
I love doing the slam/clap followed by "..Lightning."

>>77941012
>To shreds you say?

>>77951925
more like 2006, yeah, those videos are near 10 years old...

>>77936808
Basically entire Emperor's New Groove. I know the whole movie by heart.

It's a pretty generic phrase - and I believe the dub changed from the original - but I just love the delivery.
This one time in PPG when Mojo Jojo says
>I knew it.

From the episode he gives super powers to Princess Morbucks. Right after he hits her with the antidote and is about to fall on him

>>77938420

Fellow Kiwi. I work at a Bank with an aussie bloke. I think I've used this quote a few to many times now.

When he's fucked up I've also called out TOBIAS!

"Schway"

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In addition to a handful of quotes, I also make the face Mulan is making here whenever it's appropriate.

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>And that's the waaaaaaay the news goes!
Complete with the hand gesture.

Notice I no longer say liberry or tomorrie.

>It don't matter. None a this matters.
>I take a look at my life every day. And I pop a boner.
>Hey, what are we doin' here? You know I got a phone up in my bedroom! C'mon I won't lock you in COME ON PLEASE FOLLOW ME
>YOU CAN'T STOP THIS! INTERNET PORN IS BIGGER THAN YOU!!!
>Look, I'm on my land. And we're both in America, which used to be a good country, until they started letting people like you do whatever the hell you want.
>OKAY HAVE A CRAPPY WEEKEND HOPE YOUR HOUSE BURNS DOWN
>NONONONONO I NEED TO LIIIIIiiiiive
>Fart you, butthole.
>(describing a show or game to someone who doesn't know what it is) It is a race against time and space, starring Eric Stoltz

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>>77936808
>YEEEAH, TONIGHT!
I love Carls mannerisms.

>Smokers are Jokers, SMOKERS ARE JOKERS!

>>77940908
>Hush mode nigaa

i will never not use the "word" Kajigger.

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>>77955507

>>77944776
>>77945171
I don't get it.

>>77953170
>And what about his wife?
>To shreds, you say.

>>77957009
I think it's "I call the big one Bitey" in Spanish

>oh, I just made myself sad...

>>77936808
>9th season
disgusting

Starting to eat more fruit and for some reason I can't stop quoting one of Principle Goodvibes lines from that Beauty Pageant episode with Mandy.

>STUDENTS!!! DONT BOIL YOUR FRUIT JUICES! I CANT STRESS THAT ENOUGH!

>>77947473
'Raisin' has replaced 'reason' in my vocabulary because of this

>>77936808
"that's a paddlin'"

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>>77957935
>I've got a lemon for a head. I guess that makes me... craaaaazy.

>>77958165
>I use to have a set of pearly whites that used to make all the tavern wenches SWOON. Den I gots the scurvy and had to replace my teeth with PICKLES!

>>77957935
>YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE NATURAL ORDER!!!!

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>>77939760
My friend and I do this all the time. Shit never gets old

Also
>With my last breath, I curse ________!

>it needs to be at least 20% cooler

>>77958301
That was a pretty neat looking gun.

>>77938585
>>77944266
>>77947384

And I thought I was alone.

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>"I don't need this anymore... I don't need THIS anymore!"
My speech is 60% Homestar Runner.

Not really a quot persay but when I do small, non-life threatning, clumsy mistakes I scream like the goblin zeplin from Warcraft 3.

FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT. FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Isjgc0oX0s

Not for real real, just for play play.

>>77941322
I do that too!
Yeessss!

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>in coffee shop
>pick up spoon
>"SPOOON!"
>some fucker: "Haha, yeah The Tick! Nice."
mfw

>Do quotes all the time.
>Can't think of any now.

>>77943461

>Wow, I still can't believe this sale. Six-thousand low-fold dispenser napkins for fifty-eight dollars? What were they thinking?

>I don't know!

>Get a really clutch win in Smash or Mario Kart or something
>amidst everyone getting hype
>"IS THIS NOT SIMPLER? IS THIS NOT YOUR NATURAL STATE?"

>drawing something, people watching
>it turns shitty
>"slap a beefy arm on there for good measure"
>do just that

>literally anything involving water
>"THE SOLARA ISN'T AMPHIBIOUS, MY SWEET, SEMETIC TREASURE."

>>77958533
It's dot-com!

>>77944287
>even that guy with... cheeto teeth

fuck, no one understands me like 4chan

>>77959113
>anyone describing someone
>me: "And his hands looked like biscuit dough!"

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>Watch me swooce right in
>swooce

>>77958165
>lolsorandom in a lemonshell

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>>77952804
Same

>Can't make decision on something.
>Friends tell me to hurry up and choose.
>DOOM DOESN'T CHOOSE HE CONQUERS!

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>>77944633
>Redditick and Moreddity

>>77958533
>"I believe my resume has everything in order"

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>>77958796
>I will have both their traitorous hides, oh yes indeed!
I've try not to force it too hard or else normies will think I'm just saying yaaas

>>77959348
>Lets all meet back at the malt shop

I must go now, my planet needs me

>>77959348
Let's plot a course.
Intercourse.

>>77958796
Also
>I am power

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXU8w336oGs
My brother and I do this surprisingly often.

>>77936808
>Lordy Lordy look whos turnin 40 40

>>77959452
You're trying too hard there desu senpai

>>77955774
AIDS

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My friend and I mention the Funky Spiderman all the time.

>>77944066

A team of sysadmins at my job have been naming servers after Regular Show characters. Didn't know they started naming them silly shit again. It started with Star Wars planets, then another group used South Park characters. They got that shit shut down after a vendor asked what the hell 'Lemmiwinks' was during a major meeting.

>>77955774
I work for a morning news show and I say this everyday at 12:30 when we break for Andy Griffith. Being the only one at work that watches rick and Morty is suffering.

>Sex with animals? There's no time man!
This comes up more often than you'd think

ITT: "Why Don't I have friends?"

>whenever _________ is not on screen, all the other characters should be asking "where's ________?"

> Pretty much anything awkward happens when hanging out with my friend.
"YOU EMBARRASSED ME. YOU EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF HER!"

> Friend stuck looking for a word or lost his train of thought
"Finish ittttttt."

> Something stressful happens
"THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!"

> Getting up to get something
"He's coming around again."
"Yeah, to die!"

>>77959193
I love you anon.

>>77960846

Tim and Place, or Hide Your Powerlevel. It's fine to do it now and then, but I know some people whose entire lives revolve around sick references, bro. It gets a bit fuckin tiring.

>>77960822
>I should not walk so that a child may live!

Every time one of my nieces or nephews want to go outside and play.

I still go anyway, but it's more fun when I pretend to let them 'drag' me out.

>>77961893
I dare someone to go "Tonight, you." To a kid when they act up, especially if nobody else in the room knows about ATHF

>>77958586
one of the most hilarious sound/quotes in my opinion.
>do it! DO IT NOW! (don't remember from where)
>Look at it! LOOK AT IT!
>(litteraly anything in a british-ish accent) (we are qc/french so literally any quote in brit is hilariopus to my friends)
> wubalabadubdub

>>77960846
>implying references aren't normie tier

>>77961520
If you don't repeat
>FOR ROLF
several times, you're a faggot.

>>77939760
I work at an airport, helping back airplanes in and out of the hangar and making sure they don't smash into each other. This quote and

>BACKING UP
>BACKING UP
>BACKING UP
>BACKING UP

are pretty much my life.

When someone makes a mistake I talk like Jordon Von Strangle and yell "you have failed me for the last time Cosmo/Wanda!"

>>77960822
You're on /co/.

I'd be surprised if it never came up.

>>77962663
I was talking more in terms of it coming up in conversation, but that's true as well

>>77962511
I tried that once, everyone just asked me if Arnold said that in the new Terminator movie.

>>77956767
Same. Related, in Pokemon ORAS I have a Diggersby named Kajiggersby.

WOULD I

>>77950831
i thought it was just me

>Please Donbot, look into your hard drive and find your mercy file!
>File not found

One of my favourite quotes to use

>>77964883
>Hey. You think this computes over here?
Used this one more than once. Donbot is very quote-able.

Read nigga read!

You were talking all that good shit a minute ago

>This wont end well.
Ive been saying it for years since i heard it on Johnny Bravo all the time.

Ive gotten really good at delivering it at the proper moment.
My friends think im clairvoyant because i say it before something stupid happens.

>>77936808
AURORA BOREALIS.
AT THIS TIME OF DAY
AT THIS TIME OF YEAR
IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY
LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN.

>>77960846
>Not having friends to spit references with
>Not having fun

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>>77967757
Maybe it's the beer talking, but I am losing my shit right now imagining someone working that entire line into a normal conversation.

Anon, if I knew you outside of 4chan I know we'd be buddies.

>>77944287
>So let's just fuck this duck, shall we

>>77968711
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i6RUN9Akuo
This entire thing. I deliver pizzas.

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>>77941415

>>77944412
When I get angry I say Amy's random Chinese

"I was just wondering how little you guys sold out for and how it feels to have no soul and a black heart."

Although I usually just use the latter half whenever someone says they don't like a thing that I like.

>And so the dominoes fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
>Want any more Champagn?
>I will hide in this barrel, like the wily fish!
>Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast!

>men ______ but I, a God, CAN ONLY CREATE!
>You know that dance wasn't as safe as they said it was
>shwing!
>what are you going to do? Release the dogs, or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well do your worst!
>Rowsdower!

> I suffer from a very sexy learning disability, sexlexia

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>>77950617
>>77953169

My hollows.

>>77969976
If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

>>77944327

I believe that even if it's bullshit because that's exactly how "S-M-R-T" happened.

>>77969927
>Rowsdower
Not a cartoon, but I'll accept it anyway.
>Normal view.
>Normal view!
>Normal viewwwwww!

>the balls on you must be ENORMOUS to say that to me.

>>77972090
CARDCAPTOR SAKURA IS SHIT

>>77972116
>I'LL FUCKING PUNCH YOUR SHIT

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m78gYyTrG7Y
ALL ANIMALS CAN SCREAM

>i thinks its calleds a "foods library"

not /co/ related but my whole family loves warcraft so sometimes when we get together we'll great each other with "glad you could bake it uther"

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>>77951409
I used the same line once.
>A kid at my former high school was on the roof
>yelling at people.
>no one understands him due to speech impediment
>he was only 2 floors up,
>he wouldn't have died if he jumped unless he landed on his head.
>a crowd of students gathered to watch.
>the principal is trying to talk him down
>I yelled "do a flip!"
>no one laughs
>no one even looks at me
>the kid starts cussing some more and throwing roof tiles at the crowd.
>the teachers make us go back into our classrooms
>the fire department takes the kid down off the roof
>turns out he was never suicidal, just mentally challenged and pissed-off.
>a teacher confiscated his pudding because he was eating in class, so he went berserk on the roof.
>the next day, my homeroom teacher gives me detention for yelling "do a flip!"

now that im tired and want to fo to bed im remembering all these things lol.

egoraptor quotes was and still kinda is a huge part of my vocab.

>friend and i start to do something
>alright lets do this!
>YEAH LETS DO THIS (plus im gay)

>>77972141
>"All animals can scream"
Holy shit, man. Are you some sort of psychopath who tortures small critters?

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>I've soiled the good name of <x>. SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!

Used to do this when I fucked up at work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8DVKtjooec

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Doesn't work with the original dub, but in the "Das Bus" episode (mexican dubbed) Otto says

>I sure like this boat matarilerileron

I just change "boat" for ____. Matarilerileron is silly wordplay with no meaning

>>77938557
Did variation of this during my time as a trainer of the new people coming in.

>>77939760
Ha. I've done this one many times at my old job where we would regulary hoist things.

>>77941012
>Fire indeed hot!
Everytime I take fire damage in a videogame

>>77950831
I carry a red sharpie to correct the grammar and spelling of bathroom graffiti, as a reference from Frasier.

Various Homestar stuff.

>>77939624
Oh fuck the nostalgia.

We get a lot of telemarketers so I use "no, this is patrick" all the time.

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>"I give you my guarantee. Break it again, I guarantee I ain't comin' back up here."
As an IT worker this is my most used quote.
Does anyone even know what this show is?

>>77973949
The P.J.s

Futurama had a reference to it once on ta manhole cover

>>77945045

What, no standalone "wrooooong levaaaaaaaaar!"?

>>77973949
My only memory of this show is watching it at 2AM in a truck-stop motel room while the people in the next room over argued about an affair.

A toast for the host who can boast the most roast!

I told that to my old room mate who didn't watch the Simpsons and he used it to a good reception at his family's Christmas dinner that year.

Lots of people say "Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs" irl.

Bojack is pretty quotable. There was a period my /tg/ friends and I were quoting Season 2 a lot.

Any time someone Im someplace with a plate of fruits
>Why does cantaloupe think every time it gets invited to a party, it can bring it’s dumb friend honeydew?

>Can I please get some alcohol into my mouth?!

>Book Beck!

>If you die in improv you die in real life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdN0NXgjsn8

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>Phrasing

>Do you not?

>Grill. Grill me a cheese

>>77976549

Immigrants! Thats how they do you know. Just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the jobs.

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>tfw there's a bakery that I walk past on my way to work that makes cookie bouquets
HA HA HA!
Cookies on dowels.

I also use "BOOOOOWEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO" whenever I say the same thing as a friend. Complete with gestures.

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>>77940688
LAVEN SUS MANOS!

>>77959348
I actually really casually use swooce when I'd say squeeze. Like

>"Hey let me just swooce on in here."

>>77958533
>What the crap take?
>I think I'm gonna puke my pants
>I'm sad because _____
>This-aint-a gonna be-a pretteh!
>SO GOOD!
>Oh. Man.

Same, really. I also use m'n whenever I can use a word with "man" in it. Since we're getting to the holidays I end up using Santam'n a lot.

It don't matter. None of this matters.

>>77958533

"Boring... Really" is one of my favorites to quote for some reason

[Arbitrary number]? Thats just a little bit less than [arbitrary Number Plus 1]. I remember learning that in school.


What are you...
Doing?

I'm an adult and I deserve an adult glass

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>Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder

>Do what you do best: Act stupid and follow me.
>Your logic is flawless
>I feel that this is highly effiligent and edumacatiomus for my brain...cause I'm smart, boy.
>Now the only thing holding me back is my innate inabilitry to progress cognacious thunk.
>I surbibed with omly tribial bain dablage

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE
also loads of people said none a dis matters and youre good youre good youre good

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Me and my friend quote wayyyy to many /co/ and /v/ stuff in just about every conversation while playing games .
>MY LEG
>MY EYES
>Do you hear that? it's the sound of no one caring.
>Life has many holes ed boy
>AW YEAH THIS IS HAPPENIN
>AND THEN COMES THE GIANT FIST
>I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo
>How does it feel _____? To be a bitch?
>Your extracting him?
>I am combat ready friend.
>I don't want to live on this planet anymore
>Bite my shiny metal ass!
The list goes on and on.

>Now that was one CRAZY Yom Kippur!
>Poor lil Timmy...mommy misses you.

>>77977291
>How does it feel _____? To be a bitch?
For your sake I hope you say it with the same high pitched voice. If you don't, step it up.

Whenever something good happens to me
>go anon, it's ya birthday, not for real real, just for play play

>>77944327
How the hell do you confuse fictional with Brazilian?

>>77967757
Because of this my brother and I refer to hamburgers as steamed hams.

>>77976724
>This Suckquake of a _____ is a complete wastenado of my five buckonsoon.

I also end up using Five buckonsoon and Five bucksforestfire by themselves more than you'd think.

>>77958533

I cannot remember the last time I ever said the word "job" correctly

From the Courage the Cowardly Dog dub
>Lo que hago por amor...
>CUANTO OFRECE
>Creo que no debiste hacer eso.

>>77944715
When I was younger I called it the 'sitril' key

IF YOU DIE IN ___________

YOU DIE FOR REAL

>>77938574
I saw that quote as someone's signature on the gamespot forums about 10 years ago, though it was slightly different, like, "Your ass is grass and I've got a lawnmower."

>>77938769
I WANT AAAAAAALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IIIIIIIT!

>>77958533
>Looks like i'm gonna have to jump!

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Whenever I ask why something has happened: "So why is... those things?"

>"I, for one, welcome our new [X] overlords."

>Wait, I'm having one of those things... like a headache, with pictures.

On a regular basis:
>You're not my supervisor!
>Are we seriously not doing "phrasing" anymore?

>>77940704
sauce?

Shake 'im! Shake 'im around 'til he stops!

>>77938708
Spongebob is very quotable
>But to get her out of jail, first we gotta get in jail
>GIVE ME THE MONEY

For when there's no one at work or a store, Sam and Max gave me "This place is deader than a parking valet at a convention for mob informants."

>>77936808
PLASTIC!

>GOD! ZEUS! BUDDHA! ONE OF YOU GUYS, DO SOMETHING!
>SATAN! YOU OWE ME!!!

>I KNEW WE COULD DO IT! I BELIEVE IN YOU, MY CREW
>I LIED I NEVER BELIEVED IN ANYTHING

You are fired!

I'm told I say "What does it MEAN?" like Jack Skellington.

>>77979811
>used to say jorb
>now say joj

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"Well THAT'S a real stupid design..."

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>>77951409
Do your friends tell you to do flips now?

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>having conversation
>someone walks in/by
>.....so I says to Mabel, I SAYS

>>77976222
You seem like you have an interesting life.

>>77950617
>If I'm not back by ___ just go ahead and do what needest be done... THOUEST!
I use this one surprisingly often.

>>77976724
"Puke My Pants" is always an attention grabber.

I'm also a big fan of:
>I JUST HATE YOU SO MUCH

>He's such a weenie.

>>77983937
I say this way more often than I should

>>77973088
Back in highschool, the popular girl made a mistake, and someone said that she ruined her image. I started chanting this, and the entire class joined in. (It was a small class.) for the rest of the year, whenever she did something wrong and any of those people were around, they would start chanting again.

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>>77972920
Funny but you deserved it.

>>77969883
EROTIC

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Usually when losing in a fighting game, or really any game that involves beating, I'll say "stop pummeling me, it's really painful"

>>77980574
I sometimes say "No I'm... doesn't!" when being accused of something minor

>>77944412
I thought it was sploops

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>>77951409

Not really /co/ but...
>_______/GORGIE'S GETTIN ANGRY/UPSET!

sometimes, in a quiet lull in conversation, infrequently enough that no one expects it:

>TRULY, THEY WERE
>AN AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE

>>77994955
YOU LEFT THE PARKING BREAK ON!

>>77994976
>>77994976
>>77994976
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE JACKASS

>It don't mattuh, none uh dis mattuhs

>"Mmm, floor pie!"

>>77969328
To this day, I mutter "FUJIKUI WA DA SA NEY" when I'm alone and like, drop something.

>>77947760
>Chilling in the river with my friends
>not a particularly strong swimmer
>suddenly fine myself in a strong current
>cant stand up, cant swim back. Fuck
>Friends are yelling at me, trying to save my ass.
>just shout at them "WELP THATS IT FOR ME GUYS! A LESSON IN LIFE IM SURE ILL GET!"
>I finally got to shore way down river and had to walk back home.

Sometimes a proper one liner is worth a lot of pain.

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>I'll show ye

>>77976387
>I've spent a lot of time with the real me, and trust me, no one's gonna love that guy.
>Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a shower so I can't tell if I'm crying or not.

>>77976661
Yo, me too.
It's a really satisfying word, it's like an onomatopoeia for an action rather than a sound, you know?

>Someone tells me to listen to my brain
>always say "That drunk?"

For the life of me though, i cant remember where thats from. I feel... futurama?

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Whenever someone says something with particularly bad grammar, I tend to say
>Was that English, Ed?

Likewise when someone asks me where I came from
>Blame my parents, Eddy.

Literally any time me or my friend is doing something pointless or something has lost its charm or something is broken, we always tell each other
>"Its dead, Jim"

>>77944287
>The worst thing about living here, is that you can only kill yourself once.

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"And nothing of value was lost" can get some good mileage. You just have to make sure to use it wisely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um9rzGPE3Ug

I use this so often with my friends.