What kind of sense does this make? Not only did he get cut in

>>77563476
the force

>>77563476
It's the Force. Ain't gotta explain shit.

>>77563611
Beat me to it, and checked

>>77563476
Look at what Anakin's hate and skill with the Dark Side let him survive?

If one Sith can handle having his arms and legs cut off then burned alive and left for dead,

Why can't another survive the loss of his legs and a fall down a reactor shaft?

Basically: because the force.

>>77563476
Zabraks don't have any vital organs beneath their waist.

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>>77563476
It's explained in a comic. It wasn't a reactor just a garbage pit like in Episode IV.

The entire idea is still lame

Just remember this and JarJar are still canon.

>>77563476
Other than the force and alien physiology, lightsabers burn any wounds closed instantly.

>>77563677
>Look at what Anakin's hate and skill with the Dark Side let him survive?

Anakin survived for at most an hour and received the best medical care in the galaxy.

Darth Maul survived for 10 years at the bottom of a pit using a pile of garbage as spider legs.

>>77563681
Then how do they make baby?

>>77563476
same way vader survived dude.
what i wanna know is who the fuck makes legs like that, with the foot longer than the tibia but the same length as the femur? how would you do.... ANYTHING with those legs? couldn't sit, crouch, anything but run, and even then you'd have trouble jumping

>>77563476
>hating one the best part of the whole clone wars cartoon

U suuuuuck

>reactor pit
No, it wasn't.
>kind of sense does this make
The same kind of sense that kept Anakin "my skin's been burnt off, no limbs, my pregnant wife's dead what's the point of living" Skywalker alive for 20 years.

>>77563783
with his many head peni duh!

>he survived what peeved the sheev and worse
A true sith

There's probably a bag inside the junk that holds his shit and piss like sick people with broken assholes have. If you can accept that he can build giant spider legs then you can suspend your disbelief enough to imagine there's some sort of metal spider tubes replacing his asshole.

Force could have moved his veins around and shit to connect them.

It's gay as fuck.

Do Zabrak have spiky dicks like cats?

>>77563476
>Darth Maul ain't coming back.
>Darth Maul ain't coming back.
>Darth Maul ain't coming back.

>Ah, fuck it.

>>77563947
nah, they shoot organic spears into their women that forcibly injects semen into their bodies from a safe distance

>>77563637
SPEED FORCE!

>>77563476
He didn't lose ALL the intestines.

Plus, dark side, abilities some would consider to be unnatural, using HATE to keep yourself alive, I used your teachings master, etc. Like Anakin stopped himself from burning and kept himself alive even after a severe burn that normally kills anyone.

It was explained in the show itself.

>>77563696

So those spider legs are made of garbage? He's part Garbage now?

>>77564079
IT WAS ME ANAKIN!

>>77564178

He always was.

Death Watch gave him new non-garbage legs.

>>77564079
Pym Particles

If anything, this proves that Mace survived.

His almost seems more minuscule than with Maul.

He got a flesh wound, force lightning and was blasted off. And in the top rank of force users.

>>77564178
No, now he's part spider-legs, he was always garbage.

the only thing I can't get past is Maul can't get rid of the neck thing. It feels so ridiculous.

>>77563886
>peni
the plural is penum, you donger

>>77564442
>not staying /fa/ in the midst of revenge

>>77563476
I don't understand how people can shit on the EU and then praise CGI Wars, which took only the absolute stupidest elements of the EU to make use of (such as OP related) and otherwise just wrote over existing stuff that was good to great.

So if the Dark Side kept his top half alive, what about his bottom half? Are his legs running around, consumed by their need to kick ass? Does his penis really have a mind of it's own?

>>77564562
I think a brain is a big part of keeping a body moving.

>>77563767
Anakin got rekt much harder though

>>77563861
>Anything not involving the clones or non-main cast jedi
>good

>>77564591
and yet people still managed to line up for more star wars movies

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>>77563476
Reminder that was not the first time a dark jedi was cut in half and survived

>>77563476
It probably helped that everything was cauterized immediately.

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>>77563476
>I like your new legs, they make you look taller
>KENOOOOOOBIIIIIIIIIHGHH, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Obi Wan shitting all over him was the best part.

>>77563476
what kind of sense did it make to kill him off in the first place? He was literally the only cool thing about that first prequel.

For that matter what kind of sense does it make to have 5 billion jedi and only two sith? It seems like a completely arbitrary rule that is stubbornly upheld by killing off the only interesting characters just so puss vader can take his place at the emperor's side. Wouldn't the sith be so much cooler if there was a whole secret army of those assholes?

Fuck those movies

>>77564923
>Wouldn't the sith be so much cooler if there was a whole secret army of those assholes?
Because when the Sith tried to form a company baseball team, they all killed each other due to in-fighting when deciding on who was captain. The rule of two is cool as fuck anyway.

>>77564739
This, and Maul fighting Sheev and getting his 'brother' killed in the process was one of the best fights in the entire series.

When he told Maul, "You are not my apprentice... YOU ARE A RIVAL" was fucking awesome.

>>77565002
The rule of two would be much cooler if it were more like the Dark Brotherhood in the Elder scrolls and there was a bunch of Masters and Apprentices who were entirely unaware of the other masters/apprentices, aside from the head Sith and his apprentice. That apprentice could function as the go-between for all Sith so that the cells remain isolated.

>>77564923
Sith are competitive, vicious and backstabbing. Large numbers of them always implode due to infighting.

Darth Big Guy actually instituted the Rule of Two to ensure that the Sith would always grow stronger. When only two Sith exist, a master and an apprentice, there's an obvious hierarchal structure. The Master holds knowledge and power, teaching his apprentice as both grow in power. The Apprentice is destined to kill his Master, both know this, but cannot do so until he surpasses his master. When he finally becomes the stronger of the two, he strikes down his master and finds his own apprentice, and the cycle repeats. The weak are supplanted by the strong. Not only that, but it prevents loss of Sith knowledge; before, droves of weak Sith could overcome and kill a stronger Sith. The stronger Sith would die with his knowledge, and none of his killers would ever be as strong because they only won en masse.

Obviously there are always some Dark Jedi and other Dark Side users around, and often there are secret apprentices held by Master and Apprentice alike. And sometimes the apprentice manages to off his Master before he really should (See: Sheev and Plagueis). But as a general rule of thumb the Rule of Two holds up pretty well. It's what finally brought the Sith back to dominance after getting assfucked in the Old Republic.

>>77564739
But Kenoobi got his shit pushed in evey time. Even the "high ground" was countered.

>>77564376
Yes, but was his hate sufficient to unlock the "survive a mortal wound" talent?

Wasn't he literally held together with spit, wire and THE FORCE?

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>>77565304
Whoops, forgot my pic.

>>77565304
>>77565316
I still can't believe that if I'd played as a woman I coulda had a romantic subplot with this fucker.

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>>77564708
i also came here to mention that Maul is a biter

>>77564365
Unstable Midichlorians

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>>77565218
Not true. HE cut off Barbarian Persecute's arm and crippled Maul's leg with nothing more than a handfull of pirates, leaving them to use their escape pod. They've died if the Mandos hadn't found them.

>>77565100
Favorite scene in the series. Kinky shit.

>>77565304
>>77565316
Actually he was held together with SPITE, wire, and The Force.

Have you ever met those old people who say they only keep living to piss off everyone else? That was basically what Sion was times a million.

>>77565316
Not gonna lie. He was pretty cool in KotOR. Basically a metaphor for the Sith in general: The appearance of power and majesty, but all hollow and dead inside. He's...he's just really pitiable when you get right down to it. Like the Star Wars equivalent of Gollum. With everything that implies.

>>77563476
THE SHEER POWER OF HATRED.

>>77563476

The force and I dunno fucking alien.
His heart could be in skull.
Also came back in the books and comics multiple times and I'm starting to suspect during the Clonewars production they knew about Disney and the continuity purge.. That's what the tin foil I'm chewing on tells me.

>>77563476
It was the witch magic. So a witch did it.

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>sliced in half by obi
>spend upwards of 10 years eating trash and people in spider-mode
>brother's arm sliced off by obi and some fucking pirates
>jettisoned into space by obi
>never even considered a real apprentice by the master he devoted his life to
>holds mandalore in his hands for literally less than a week before sheev rams his asshole
>brother killed because of his incompetence
>cries like a bitch and begs for mercy
>there is no mercy
>tries to raise a rebellion a second time but gets DP'd by sheev & dooku
>all this happens while grievous fucks his mom right in front of him

was there ever a bigger fuccboi in the galaxy?

>>77564620
Yeah, but he didn't stay wrecked in a pile of garbage for 10 years.

>>77563476
In the Star Wars EU there is a character who had his head replaced by a heavy blaster cannon. Any question regarding logic or sense with Star Wars can be answered with, "there is a character who had his head replaced with a heavy blaster cannon."

>>77566203
So what, once you survive the initial issues, then it becomes more and more believable.

>>77566218

Who?

>>77566218
Yeah, but that's not canon and it's debatable if it was ever truly canon at all.

This shit IS canon. It's as legit as the movies.

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>>77566324
>He hasn't read all 14 EU novels on the adventures of Crani'or Sho'thead

embarassing

>>77566348
Shut up. You canon faggots are killing Star Wars.

>>77563696
What the FUCK were they thinking?

I hate Darth Maul in Clone Wars through the entire thing.

>>77564708
Maw was pretty cool.
I'm willing to admit that Maul could've survived because he was a Zabrak and their biology might allow for it, but Maw fucking LEVITATED HIMSELF and didn't need any dumb cyborg goat legs.

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>>77564739
obi wan has a god damn rogue gallery

>>77564497
>-num ever being plural

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>>77565316

I fucking love Sion. Great voice. Great dialogue. Really great powers, with really horrifying drawbacks. He was one of the most powerful Force users ever but he was in constant, agonizing pain. Holy shit what a trade off.

>>77563767
And any normal person would have been dead within that hour

>>77567762
And how soon would a normal person die being cut in half in a pit of garbage for 10 years?

>>77563767
Takes alot longer than one hour to prep a long range ship and to travel through hyperspace from curosaunt to mustafar. Read some of the books sometime. Sith can keep themselves alive through the force for an unatural amount of time.

>>77567880
Palpatine didn't leave right when Anakin got cut. I read the books, I'm well aware of what the Force is capable of. One thing the Force is NOT capable of is making the decision to bring back Maul not be stupid.

>>77563767
You do realize that when a person is on fire, they don't die from the burns, right? The oxygen is literally ripped out of their lungs to feed the flame's appetite for O2 and other gases. So, before the shock, the damage from the 3rd degree burns, and all the other fancy melting nonsense kicks in, a person suffocates.

Anakin screaming and moaning like that while on fire would have only hastened the process. Yet, somehow, he's the boy who lived.

It's the Darkside of the force keeping them alive, and Lucas/Disney/JJ/Whoeverelse has money ain't gotta explain shit.

>>77565343

from what I recall it's really sad and one sided.

He's in love with you but doesn't understand the feeling which makes him angry and confused.

>>77567934
The point is that it's different levels and it's doubtful Anakin would have been able to sustain himself, no skin and no legs on a lava planet for as long as Maul did.

>>77565196
He implemented it from the teachings of Revan. But overall the rule makes sense, and that whole force bomb shit he got them doing was great.

>>77565451
Can we please re-canonize Kyle? I don't even need like all his adventures to be canon, just the character in general.

>>77568180
>biggest mary sue in the franchise canon again
No thanks.

>>77563476
He survived because some idiot was under the delusion that Maul was a cool and interesting character.

>>77563476
Mortal wound? I didn't know you were an expert on Zabrak anatomy, anon.

>>77563476
That's not the question,
the question is, how shits

>>77567935
>falls in love with the first female jedi that happens to cross is path
More like Darth Asspion

>>77566043
>>all this happens while grievous fucks his mom right in front of him
Wait what?

>>77567831
Maybe Maul's alien species has a physiology that can survive in environments that human's physiology can't?For all we know, he was having the time of his life down there.

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>>77569796
I always figured she was more into Dooku. I mean, she did have that slimy dildo made in his image.

>>77566348
>This shit IS canon.
Sure

>It's as legit as the movies.
Not even close

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>>77568644
>biggest mary sue in the franchise canon again
u mean Raven?
anyway is kyle in book is bad ?
because in the game he seems ok to me

>>77565343

That sounds amazing.

>>77569964
>>77568644
>character is successful
>"mary sue"

Constantine the Great and Tang Taizong were mary sues

It's a dumb concept but it worked out really well character-wise for the show.

>>77569862
I'd like to forget that whole Dathomir arc. They could have made it sensible, they could have minimized retcons to virtually nil, but nooooooooo

>>77565196
>Darth Big Guy

the fact that this makes complete sense to me is so absurdly hilarious

Like this is essentially an otherwise serious post and there's just >darth big guy in it

memes are the best part of this site desu senpai

>>77563783
they pull one of their head spikes from the head, plant it in a fertile soil and wait until a little zabrak comes out. The temperature and minerals play a very important factor if you want male or female.After that it's like taking care of a human toddler.

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>>77565662
fucking uchihas

>>77567567
Isn't "resist pain" a force ability?

>>77567935
Why does that make him sound like Bizarro so much?

>>77570576
Would be kinda useless if said pain is literally the thing keeping your body from crumbling into chunks.

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>>77565539
So Sion is Stinkmeaner?

>>77570283
Was Justinian I a mary sue if he had to overcome several hardships to be recognized as a great monarch and saint? After all, he was rather unpopular for quite a long time due to not only marrying a woman of low standing, but even coming from a peasant family himself; many questioned his decisions regarding the new uniform writing of law too. I'd say his backstory has the right balance of succcess and struggle to not make him a mary sue, but the saint part felt forced.

>>77563476
Fans liked him, so they ass-pulled.

>>77563476

It was dumb, but it lead to cool stuff with him taking over mandalore and Sidious dropping by to wreck his shit for him, so it was worth it.

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how does he poop?

>>77563476
fans

>>77571251
If you assume vaguely human anatomy, he doesn't. No digestive system. Probably has to "eat" by intravenous injection.

>>77570332
The droid army coming over and steamrolling the forceusers was brutal, only time in the whole franchise they were shown to be actually not a joke.

>>77571251
He eats human food and poops robot shit

>>77571312
force poop

>>77565530
I'm sad the final Maul arc never got animated and that anon never made Poor Little Sith Lord 3 where Maul has to watch Grievous and Dooku double team his mom.

>>77571251
Fun fact: if your regular way of pooping is blocked off, your body will force it back up through your digestive system.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_vomiting

>>77563476
This isn't even hard for the Dark Side, check out Darth Sion.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Sion
I know KotOR2 isn't canon anymore but that should give you an idea of what The Force can explain away.

>>77570283
I think people say that about Kyle because more than just about any EU OC Kyle is basically perfect from a meta perspective. He has all the best parts of Han Solo and all the best parts of Luke Skywalker and pretty much none of the drawbacks. Any drawbacks he has are played as cool badass loner drawbacks replete with witty one-liners. He gets in deep shit comparable to the movies, his best friend and copilot is also his waifu, etc.

But more importantly despite his bad attitude he still gets a free pass to Jedi stuff even more than Luke did, AND doesn't have to follow most of their rules, spiritual or otherwise. He may not be a Mary Sue but he is very much a Wolverine-style wish-fulfillment character. And I say this as someone who is very much an adoring fan of the DF/JK games.

>>77563476
I'm more confused how Mother Talzen summoned actual mechano-legs with the force. That and her teleporting bullshit.

>>77572156
That's true. Its a common feature inherent of single player action games to have a main character that is a super hero and can do everything.

>>77564376
Only characters popular with young children get to cheat death to reappear in cartoons.

>>77572427
She wasn't actually force sensitive, so it might've been something other than the force.

She kept calling it magiks, so, there's that.

>>77569796
read Son of Dathomir

>>77572561
That's even worse.

>>77563476
>tfw you realize darth maul is pretty much naked

>>77572573
>episode scrapped because of disney's rebels
>maul's mum gets double penetrated by grievous while sidious and christopher lee hold her down and Maul is dragged away screaming
Damn do they hate maul, it would have been better to die on Naboo, fuck me those people need the Force

>>77572757
Why?

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why isn't this douche mentioned more in these threads?

>>77563696
>garbage pit like in Episode IV
ItLikePoetry.jpg

>>77573194
He's based on an abandoned concept for the Emperor in ROTJ and isn't really that important in the grand scheme of things. Really the whole Sith empire gets the short end of the stick, only Marka winds up being any kind of relevant in the rest of the TOTJ books.

>>77572757
Sheev was also in on the magiks with his blood rituals.

>>77563476
In a world where they can clone an entire person, build droids that are basically human shaped and can easily replace lost limbs with robotic limbs, they can't make a pair of robotic legs that look like normal legs correct for some reason

>>77573518
Those legs were made out of garbage and magiks.

He got normal legs later when a proper medical droid was fixing him up.

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>>77563696
>It was a Garbage Pit
>Just like Episode IV
Who saved him from being crushed or incinerated or something there? That garbage pit was really fucking well defended with like a dozen or more automated laser doors, so these people are pretty fucking obsessive about their trash.
So what saved him? Only someone with access to the main computers could have done it, and the Trade Federation was already overthrown by that point, which means only a Nabooian could have done it. But why?
Think about it, who had anything to gain from this nonsensical stunt? Palpatine, yes. He got political power... But so did Padme! Before, she was just some queen of a backwater planet so insignificant, the Republic couldn't give two shits about it being blockaded until the Jedi stepped in. After? She became a senator in the Republic.
And how convinient too, that she survives the world's most pathetic assasination attempt, under a fucking broad window anyone could have shot her through!
And what's that? She just up and "dies" because she loses the will to live? And this shit is important enough to give force visions to her lover in advance?

Ladies and gentlemen, I propose Padme was behind all of this! She released Darth Maul, because he and the Emperor aswell as Jar Jar were all working together! She didn't die at the end of Episode III, she just faked her own death, going into a force sleep, being taken to Coruscant for a burail. WHY CORUSCANT?! She was from Naboo! Who else is on Coruscant? Why Palpatine of course, along with Jar Jar. They held a private "funeral" but she simply awoke, and they celebrated fruition of their plans.

We've all been had!
Padme is Snoke! And she has a Snuke in her Snatch.

>>77573947
Wait it was a garbage pit? Since when? I thought that was always some kind of power generator or plasma refinement complex.

>>77569589
He made an emergency hole at the bottom. After the transformation, he got a magical cyborg anus.

I still don't understand this rule of 2 bullshit!

maul is still a sith lord, right? and ventress was a sith apprentice, so was dooku who I have to assume was at the very least in training at the same time as maul, and savage was an apprentice.

so even with ventress deciding to not be a sith anymore, when we count the emperor we have 4 active sith, as well as the emperor grooming vader into happening

>>77576462
To eliminate constant in-fighting, a decision was made to kill everyone and leave only two: the single top dog in control of everything, and a loyal servant, to do the dirty and dangerous work. Lower servants could be trained in the dark side™, to do even dirtier and even more dangerous work (see: expendable). But only two are allowed to have the real power.

Not sure what is so hard to understand.

>>77576587
that we have several sith running around during this period, all of which are more powerful than your run of the mill jedi

>>77576636
No, there's only two. Maul was Sidious' apprentice, then he died. Dooku became his apprentice after that.

Only two Sith. Ventress was never a Sith. Even when Maul came back, it compelled Sidious to track him down and fuck him up because there can only be two.

dude hes an alien you have no idea what is considered a mortal wound to that race

>>77576587
That's one of the reasons.
It was also established in the EU that the Dark Side literally works like The Speed Force. As in, the more people there are who are using it, the less powerful it gets for everyone involved. So having 2 Sith, means there is always one to carry on the power, and there is minimal loss due the force being "watered down" because of too many people using it.

how was sideous able to hide his powerlevel so well?

The force is strong with him.

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>>77577087
This Namek blew up their scouters.

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>>77564178
"He's more garbage now than Dathomirian now, crooked and kind of mean."

>>77579113
"Dathomirian"?
Wasn't he a Zabrak?

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>>77579113
and he was a good friend

>>77579175
¿porque no los dos?

>>77579175
There's a specific Zabrak ethnicity on Dathomir

>>77579484
Huh....
Zabraks or this group must be pretty fucking racist, if somehow during the couple thousand years that post-lightspeed travel existed, an entire ethnicity got separated from the main group to the point that they're known by a different name.
Pretty cold.

>>77579563
Well when you're reduced to breeding stock/slave labor for a group of witches...

>>77573947
Is it unreasonable to assume that Darth Maul surviving is what lead to the increase in garbage chute security? Officials looked the incident and wrote new building code to prevent Sith endangering the public in the future.

>>77563476

People have survived worse in real life. Seriously, truth is stranger than fiction and I almost always roll my eyes at ignorant plebs who shout at the sky "There's no fucking way!".
You can find dozens of real life examples of people surviving the loss of their lower torso.

As for Maul specifically, the lightsaber cauterized and sealed his wound so he had no risk of blood loss. As for the fall, I believe he pulled a Cloud City Luke and found his way down a sloped exhaust vent. Combine all that with his 'unnatural' abilities and him surviving the ordeal is not that far-fetched in the realm of Star Wars.

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>>77571462
the human body is a wonderfully disgusting organism

>>77580257
I'm not sure how much more protective you can get than two dozen laser doors.

Imagine the poor shmuck who has to be the work chief in Theed or whatever the capital is called.

>"Oy Jim! Here's the new Royal work order."
>"Let me see that!... Fekken me ass, the pompous bitch. She wants fifty bloody auto-turrets installed in the god damn garbage chute? Me mum still gets dodgy tap water, and this whore of a noble decided she wants military grade weaponry to protect the disco trash bin she keeps in her basement? The fuck is wrong with this bimbo?"