Who work at a supermarkets? What's the strangest food related

used to work at one. I was a deli guy
>we had a plastic table and chairs for people to sit at while they eat the fried chicken and various other hot food we sold
>fat guy is sitting in one and leaning it back against the ice cream cooler
>chair breaks and he hits his head on the cooler
>he tries to sue us even though its his fault

>we also had gas pumps, another time this guy left his car filling unattended and it overflowed
>gasoline everywhere
>wanted to not have to pay for the spill even though it says right on the pump to not leave unattended and if someone had dropped a cigarette the store could have gone up in flames

fuck customers they're all fucking retards

I used to work at Publix for several years. We had the usual hodgepodge of pain in the ass customers. However the real fun was what happened afterhours and/or in the back stock room. /b/ tier sex and drug stories abound. Also we stole a lot of beer and food. Really the best days of my life.

>>9419622
Every gas station I've ever been to automaticaly shuts of my pump when my tank is full.

>>9419638
the auto shutoff can fail

that's why there is a sign on the pump that says do not leave unattended

>>9419622
What's wrong with the gas pumps? The pumps should be able to detect when your tank is full and stop pumping gas.

>>9419659
>why is it possible that a mechanical can fail
its the same reason you are supposed to keep your finger off the trigger of a gun even if the safety is on.

watch the pump unless you want to pay for spilled gas or possibly die in an inferno

You can tell people haven't worked in retail by what little understanding they have of how registers work (or benefit of the doubt, they were smart enough not to choose cashier)
>Lady asks why there's two of some water I accidentally scanned twice
>Already voided it by the time she pointed it out
>Says I'm trying to scam her
>Literally point to the v for void next to the item like I have to teach this bitch the goddamn alphabet
>Keeping that retail smile.jpg
>She lets it go, still glaring suspiciously at the screen while she finishes the transaction
>I would've let it go if she didn't complain to my boss

I don't get people some times

>>9419622
As soon as you said sue i was sure youre american.
I hate the fucking lawsuit culture of my country. If i was in that situation mu first response would be to apologize profusely and offer to pay for the chair. Its just so disgusting to me thay if an American is slightly hurt the first thought we have is "how much money can i take from these people?" Makes me hate my country sometimes desu.

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Used to work in the bakery at Stater Bros.
>customer comes up early before we make doughnuts
>requests a special made doughnut which isn't uncommon
>they ask for "greens" on it so I assume the color green which also isn't uncommon
>i bring out a doughnut with green frosting lines
>he gets all pissed with me saying that he "doesn't want carbs" and says he wants vegetables on it
>can't refuse service
>make him another doughnut and put lettuce and broccoli and stick it on there with some honey
>literally the most disgusting thing I ever made
>he comes back and I show it to him
>"thats the wrong kind of doughnut!"
>i ask him to show me what he wants
>he points to a cake
>i cant deal with him so I direct him to another baker
I hate customers

>>9421056
People who don't understand registers and people who think they understand every register are equally as bad.

>work at store that's halfway between regular grocery and big box/restaurant supply
>certain items (bottled water, sodas) have the same bar code on the resale case as on the individual items
>scanning the individual item racks up the sale for the entire case
>because of this, we have individual codes for loose items
>entire cases cost enough that, when voided, require manager override

>ringing up some guy in a cheap suit who's talking on a bluetooth
>in 2016
>office break room stuff mostly
>"Oh don't forget these kiddo"
>before I can react, reaches behind the scanner and rings up 2 bottles of soda, stop him before the third
>the screen confirms my fears
>2 cases, each at $35, have been added to the order
>clear both
>register locks up at end because high void amount
>have to wait for key carrier
>listen to guy rant about how our registers are dumb and he should be able to scan what he wants

Don't stick shit behind the fucking counter

>>9419584
> People order a literal ton of stuff
> It's mostly alcohol and mixers
> Turns out, it's for a wedding

> Shitton of bottled water on an order
> Driver brings it back, throwing a hissy fit about how he can't get it up all those stairs
> I get sent out with him to shut him up
> Shitton of bottled water
> Three floors up
> No parking anywhere near the door
> Door's a storey off the ground with stairs up to it
> Driver parks illegally, I grab trays off the van and slide them through the railings to the level of the floor he's standing on
> Then we haul them up the stairs
> Asian family who don't trust the local water. As usual.

> Top floor flat
> Half a mile from the nearest parking, legal or not
> New driver who can't be trusted with customers or van keys on his own yet, so I'm out with him
> Multiple trips, even for two people.

> No house number on manifest, only a cutesy name
> This means I, the supervising non-driver, have to get out and run up and down the street checking house names because they're so far from the street you can't see the damn signs
Better hope your house never catches fire, or you never need an ambulance...

> New housing estate
> Not updated in the satnav yet
> Have to stop and ask the postman where a house is
> Estate is full of lost delivery drivers for various companies asking where stuff is

> Arrive at address
> They're getting another delivery from another company, who seem to think we're able to do their job for them
> Hands over the parcel to us, drives off
> "Oh, uh, this arrived for you too and they gave it to us? Is this for you? I'm not sure."

> Small housing estate built for old people
> Stairs so steep I nearly fall down them, young and able-bodied

> Another delivery to an old person
> Low ceiling, I nearly concuss myself on the doorway into the kitchen
> Unload everything, trying to ignore the all-pervasive smell of piss

>>9421202
> Arrive at address
> They've got builders in
> Can't get to the house except through the work in progress
> Builders are amused by this, and insist on helping by taking the trays inside for us and unloading them
> Have to remind them to give the paperwork back after it's been signed

> At the store, cold stuff regularly sits out of chilled areas for up to an hour
> Warehouse is basically organised, barely-managed chaos
> I'm the only one able to bring order to it
> Book half the summer off, so I'm off work more than I'm in
> Get back after two weeks to discover we're losing drivers like crazy and the rest are mad as fuck
> Discover nobody's been covering for me

> I don't give a fuck
> My co-workers don't give a fuck.
> Management doesn't give a fuck
> Blast heavy metal all day in the warehouse, uniform ends up scruffy at best
> Use a battery bank to steal power from the company
> Teach people to skateboard on equipment
> Wrestling matches in the warehouse, right in front of the camera
> Team leader attempts to forbid me from taking time off work whenever he's scheduled to be in, because I'm the only person who cares about doing stuff right
> Only care because I get bonuses for the company making a profit
> Openly trying to get other jobs, nobody cares
> Ignore corporate team-building, department organises it's own meals out after payday
> qt3.14 immigrant girls brought customers to me for a year because I can translate the local accent into simple english, and then give them an exact product location for what they want
> From memory, because the only accurate map of the store is in the heads of the order pickers
> And even then, only because data is exchanged regularly in the form of small talk

>>9419584
I don't work at one but I once witnessed a middle aged woman with stunna shades on ask for white meat chicken thighs

>work nights in a fairly big superstore not particularly close to nearby towns, etc.
>stocking shelves n shit and a guy asks me to run stuff through the tills through him
>do it as I'm the only guy around it seems
>he buys heavy-duty big black bin bags and a shovel and topsoil
>question nothing and go back to work
>realise days later what his purchases could've entailed

These stories remind me of my days working at king soopers (Kroger store in Colorado)
>be courtesy clerk (bagger and cart pusher)
>old bitch standing uncomfortably close to me, watching me like a hawk as I bag her groceries
>as I put each bag in cart she ties them immediately after
>catch on and begin tying bags for her before putting them in cart because I figure it is what she wants
>she unties the bags immediately after I put them in cart
>just say fuck it and stop tying them
>she audibly sighs and stands next to me for five minutes as I bag for other customers tying all of her bags on a frustrated manner

>>9421171
Isn't it against the rules to reach behind the fucking counter like that
Actually no, that seems like common courtesy

>Have baggers
>Customers insist on bagging for them
Usually these are part timers doing 4 hours a day on the weekends, let them do their one job

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>>9421144
>>he points to a cake

fucking kek

>store was remodeling
>recently ordered a bunch of high tech scales
>touch screens, wi-fi, talks with storewide inventory system
>install them wherever an old scale used to be
>first day with our brand new amazing scales ready to go
>they all blue screen after a minute of being switched on
>inventory and POS both grind to a halt
>have to go back to using the old scales for 2 weeks while IT tries to fix everything

>>9421639
All scales, self-service checkouts, scanners and registers over here run Windows CE. Seems odd that they'd go for NT.

>>9419622
>Everyone on this Earth is a retard except me, but including me.
Also, pick a better place to live nigga

>>9419584
£90 of the small mcdick sized fruit bags, asked if it was for a club or something and the guy said no. To put it in perspective that's about 360 bags

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I like these threads. Makes me realize how much bullshit employees put up with and why they genuinely like seeing me

>When something goes wrong I don't mind
>When a customer is being a bitch I don't mind
>Patiently just do what I need to do
>If the employee makes a mistake it's not too bad (I'm flexible, all errors can be fixed)
>Always do that survey shit just because it I want them to know the employee does a good job
>At some point I started getting free shit and discounts whenever I'm buying something because I'm not a shitty person

I've never seen a McDonald's or grocery store employee at lunch rush have such a genuine hope filled smile til I show up. Hell even the managers offered me a job at some places solely based on my patience

But then I tell them I have a felony and job already so I can't take a second one without issues. I hate disappointing people but goddamn a fuckin job offer for just being a regular and not a bitch?

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>30 mins till closing
>Customer with two trolleys comes along
>As per store policy ask if she needs help packing today
>No response, ask louder
>Still no response decide to ask when she gets to till
>Start scanning her food
>She walks over, faint smell of alcohol and weed
>"Hello, would you like any help-"
>"Why aren't you packing my shopping?"
>Goes on 5 minute rant
>I'm used to this shit by now
>Pack her shopping
>Halfway through second trolley phone starts ringing
>Answers and stops unloading her shopping
>Another 5 minutes
>Customers in queue getting upset, one asks her to keep loading
>"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ON THE PHONE!"
>Distract her back to me before she can rant at this man too
>Finish packing
>Goes on another rant anyway
>10 mins to go at this point, am in full smile and nod mode
>One of the high points of it was how me not packing her bags was wasting everyone in the queues time
>U WOT M8?
>Finally leaves only 2 people left in queue, everyone else moved till.
>Easy last 5 or so minutes, apologise to the man from before and give him a discount
>Shift finished boss wants to see me
>Turns out the bitch lodged a formal complaint and as she spent lots of money and does so regularly they don't want to say no to her.
>All my shifts for next month are moved to out of the way positions, told that if I see her again to look busy and get out of the way.
Very lucky that my boss is cool and that was my first complaint since I started.
Pic related but not her.

One of my biggest peeves is when people decide last minute they don't want produce
Boxed shit and cans I can handle but when it's like bakery, fruit bowls, or deli meat (which they had to wait for) I get really fucked because they throw that shit out

>>9419584
used to work on a local chain, first as a floor clerk and then on the warehouse
>all dat rat shit fucking everywhere
I always wash my hands after handling groceries (even packaged ones) and try to at least rinse cans/bottles/jars and only drink from them as a last measure
it got to me man
I never considered myself squeamish but hell

>>9419584
used to work at winco in produce department
>lady walks up to me
>"e-excuse me... do you have any *looks at list* 'th-thyme"
>pronounces the th as in "the"
>feel bad for her girl spaghetti and walk her over to it
>think she realizes im smiling bc of her
i didnt correct it either so i know when she tells someone else she'll realize how she said it wrong. its ok bc she was qt

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http://fitfoodsafety.com/index.php/2017/07/13/say-goodbye-hair-loss-restore-health-hair-remedy/

Used to work in the back room of my local small town super market as a teen, working the bottle return machine and stocking shelves. Comfy job, only 6 hours a week, every fourth weekend and could trade shifts freely.
Anyhow

>Afternoon shift on a weekday, store manager comes in
>"I need you to go out and help this man find some shoe laces, and keep an eye on him"
> "Lul wut? Why would i need to help some dude find shoelaces and then follow him around the store?
>Come out from the back of the store, see 3 shabby looking dudes
>It's druggies
Apparently my county had been required to take in some social cases and put them in gov housing in my town, in return for like 3x their monthly cost to the system.
Anyhow
>First guy tells me they need some shoe laces so i walk them over to the misc shelf.
>"What length do you need?"
>The guy looks dumb founded, looks around for a second and then then grasps his bicep
>"Let me just get the longest"
>Now that's sorted, and the guys walk up to the register. Except, where did the third guy go?!
>Go around the store looking for him. Where the fuck did this guy go?
>Find him at the soda aisle. "Just wanted some apricot sodas for me and the guys"
>Well alright then. Walk him to the register, they all pay and leave.
>As i walk out back one of the guys calls out to me.
>Thanks for the help kid, here's a little something for you
>He hands me one of the fucking apricot sodas

All in all one of the most pleasant experiences i ever had with a customer

>>9421171
I will never understand being unable to void shit from the register meme. I worked at Carls Jr for a while as a cashcuck. If someone changed their mind or I misclicked I had to go get a manager like a fucking wagie retard. Literally never worked front of house again in my life. If I was attractive I'd be a killer waiter. Such is life as a cookcuck.

Post void limits at ur work place
Mine was 20$, I went into override over a case of fucking diapers

>work at Kroger
>One day someone comes in
>Buys three bottles of cough syrup
Not really weird but who needs three bottles of cough syrup at one time? Must of had a really terrible cough

working stock in the morning, heavy woman comes up to me, strips naked. and says let mommy get a try!

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>oh it didn't scan that means it's free right haha

>>9422460
>Forget nametag
>'Hello [insert store here]'
I hope they don't expect any more than an empty laugh and on bad days a vacant stare

>>9421144
How many Happy Birthday X cakes do you get commissioned to do every week? What is the most creative cake you have ever made

>>9422425
Anon he wasn't going to use it for a cough.

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>>9419584

>work in deli
>mid december
>lady brings up a sealed package of some thin dried salami that we sell
>"Can you cut this for me?"
>wtf
>look at coworkers
>"W-well management says we're not supposed to but we do it so customers don't get angry"
>are you fucking kidding me
>mfw I have to unwrap this salami, cut it in half, and try to use it on the slicer when it doesn't have enough weight to keep itself on the blade

I had a lady that would come in every day to buy our baked potatoes. Every time, she would ask for extra cheese. We just put our store brand shredded cheddar on top, it was already on the potatoes. She just wanted more. So we had to get the bag, and pour it over the potatoes. And then she would tell us when she was "satisfied". She would always go on about how much she "loved her cheese" while we were doing this.
It was always a gross affair and we would have to almost pick straws to deal with her if she showed up. The way she went on about the cheese, it was almost sexual and fuck me it was disturbing. Fucking fatties.

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This isn't really a shopping experience but it happened to me today
>Been volunteering at a homeless kitchen for a long time now, pretty much one of the authorities of place
>All of the church isn't there because of a conference so there's another group of people who don't want to be there
>Middle Eastern looking guy who's there often and pretty friendly asks me "excuse me, is there pork in the hotdogs?"
>Find the person who cooked them and ask what's in them
>without looking up the old lady shrugs without saying anything
>see the hotdog package in the trash so I go through the trouble of digging out the package to see the ingredients, tossing my gloves, washing my hands, and grabbing new gloves so this guy doesn't get kicked out of paradise for eating a pig
>tell the guy there's beef, turkey, and pork in the hotdogs
>"Thank you, thank you; I was about to take a big bite!"
>Do the rest of the night's work
>As the middle eastern guy is leaving he comes to me and says "thank you, I got a job at that new restaurant: the Italian bistro. I'm your guy there."

Sometimes working with people is alright

>>9422877
people never talk about how muzzies can be complete bros sometimes, but when I worked at the customer service desk at a tech store they were the single most polite group of people I ever dealt with
middle aged white women were always the absolute worst, and I'd run a fucking mile if I ever saw a short fat woman with a henpecked-looking husband in tow

>>9422877
How is he gonna work italian tho? Just host?

>>9421258
Dudes a gardener, chill

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>work at regional Kroger variant
>produce department

>customer walks up and starts telling me about how she bought 4 live basil plants and the purple ones all died
>keeps repeating that they died while talking about what she expected, other plants doing fine blah blah
>ask her if she talked to customer service to get a refund
> "No"

also mexico needs to answer for these mangos

>youngish guy is putting his stuff on the conveyer belt
>middle aged woman starts putting her stuff on as well
>the young guy says he doesn't have enough room and tells her to wait
>her husband arrives
>they yell at each other for a bit
>they get into a full on fist fight and they are scrambling on the ground wrestling each other
>i'm so detached from reality having worked all day i just sit there the whole time and when the security guard guy showed me the video (we got on well) i literally just sat there the whole time and didn't react at all

made me feel like i had autism and i probably do

anyway after a while the fight got broken up and the police came down etc

>>9422540
not him, but where i worked, these 3 little kids with about 15 bucks between them asked for a custom cake with the design they had drawn on a sheet of craft paper, which was a stickfigure being hanged with the text "jonoathon go to heck" underneath it, with fire everywhere. had a good laugh, but we made the cake

>>9421202
i thought these line breaks were different stories

>>9423714
>live near DA REZ
>natives come in all the time, constantly want to buy huge amounts of produce
>"hey uh can I get a box of your cheapest apples/stonefruit/corn/melons"
>gets so bad we have to tell them to call 48 hours in advance to order boxes of stuff
>they never do
>If we have extra and give them a box, the rest of their cart (or second cart) gets filled with junk food
>pay with ebt/food stamps/muh ancestors bucks

>>9421806
I'm sorry your bosses are spineless dicks.

>>9421806
>tattooed on eyebrows
mexicans were a mistake

>>9422540
Also not him, but the weirdest thing I wrote on a cake was for a young girl and her father. They got a holiday log cake and asked if I could write "Sorry I got the cat wet" on it.

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>>9419584
Shaved ham.

Only after moving here and getting a job in a supermarket deli have I ever heard of shaved ham. Ham sliced so thin that the slicer chews up the meat, resulting in what's essentially pig confetti. I don't know why anyone would ever want to eat that crap.

>Scanners
>Baggers

Woah I've accidentally stumbled back into the 20th century.

>>9421703
>Also, pick a better place to live nigga
how do i contact moon nazis?

>>9424256
Woah, highschoolers with no experience need to start somewhere. Of course with a $15 minimum wage you can forget that happening. No highschooler is worth that money.

>>9424273
My country has a higher minimum wage than the USA, lower youth unemployment than the USA, and every supermarket uses self-serve checkouts. There are different ways to do things.

>>9421056
I work at a restaurant as a cashier. People get so fucking mad because they're too stupid to read the menu
>brisket sandwich 6.99
>brisket sandwich with 2 sides 9.99
>drink 2.50
>guy gets a sandwich and 2 sides and a drink
>yes sir that will be 13.35 for your total
>but a brisket sandwich is 6.99
>yes sir and you got 2 sides (which are actually half price if you get them with a sandwich)
>oh they aren't included?
>no sir with the sandwich they're about 1.50 each
>oh well I don't want them you can put them back
Fuck you asshole

>>9421202
You lack organization, boy. Your formats all fucked up.

Btw, complaining about nearly concussing yourself is your fault.

I've worked at a local grocery store for 6 years now in various departments. The worst I would get in any of them is bitchy housewives, without a doubt. They have no patience, they are condescending, and they have no manners. That's what irks me most of all. Did your mother not teach you to say "excuse me" when you need to ask a question for help? It's so simple and sounds so much better than being demanding and expecting me to be at your beck and call.

>>9424285
That's also your country. There are more factors but a high minimum wage artificially raises the price of labor. Who do you think is going to get cut, the laborers at the middle and top or at the very bottom?

>>9424320
*of low skill labor

>>9423662
Afaik they can cook pork just fine. I work at a restaurant that serves a lot of pork, and one of the main chef guys is some Muslim kid.

>>9424320
low mimimum wage encourages personel spam at issues, provides little incentive to employers to increase the efficiency of their business. Creates a lot of shit-tier do nothing jobs and a stagnant economy.

Hence why you have semi-educated young people standing around packing bags when there are many better things they should be doing.

>>9424320
>higher minimum wage but lower unemployment
>"yeah but it wouldn't work because they would cut jobs"

I swear Americans actually enjoy being class cucks

>>9422380
It's because if you're smart, and quick, you can steal that way. They even track those numbers. I've seen people do it, but it's not super common.

>>9422877
i would have said "nope, they're pork-free."

>>9424376
That's pretty rude anon

>>9424376
but then he wouldn't have been your guy at the italian bistro

A customer tried to steal a plastic crab from the seafood department, saying the workers there let him have it. But, one of the managers saw it in his cart and said the people from seafood have been looking for it all day. They got into an argument over a fucking plastic crab.

>>9424373
I realized this maybe 3rd week of working cashier at six fags

>>9421330
I wish I could be a bagger. It is such an easy job but so many people fuck it up somehow.

>>9421096
I got hit by car riding my bike and my family sued. I never thought of it too much, but now I feel kind of guilty. We're not even poor, in fact we're quite wealthy. It's kinda shitty growing up and realizing how flawed our parents might be. Then again, I can't complain too much when I have around ~30k in my personal savings. Maybe I'll be more charitable.

>>9421330
Fuck no, I was a bagger when I was 16, and the baggers at my store are fucking retards in their mid-20s to 40s that don't understand basic fucking bagging procedure.
>Put all frozen and refrigerated shit first
>Fucking retard mixes non-refrigerated shit with refrigerated shit
>Gib me mo money plz
I bag my own shit because they can't get such a simple task right. FFS, I didn't even need the retard down on his luck manager to explain that to me at my first training. I thought it was common sense.

>>9423755
that's hilarious

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>>9424408
do you by chance live in Tampa Bay

>>9424373
Can confirm, have stolen grill orders by ringing them in and voiding them after they made them

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>Work at a Fred Meyer (Sup fellow Kroger bros)
>Home department, mostly furniture, cashiering, etc.
>Help a bro load a couch into a customers truck, don't think much of it.
>Few hours later manager overheads for me to to go to the loading area.
>Apparently we fucked up and loaded the wrong couch.
>Wasn't my sale so I didn't get the couch, just loaded it but whatever.
>No couch in site, no truck, customer wants us to take the correct one to the house so they can inspect it first.
>Manager has to get his truck and the three of us pack into his 3 seater beater truck. Which looked hilarious considering he looks about 100lbs wet and me and the other dude are 200+
>Arrive at the house and the customer is some older lady and her son, not the original people so she must have hired a 3rd party for the first couch.
>Get it inside and open the wrapping of the couch so she can inspect it, and I notice something.
>Couches are both the exact same couch.
>She instantly starts to complain saying the couch is a different color, it's too red compared to the one on the floor.
>Don't want to point out that she has red blinds and everything in her fucking house is red.
>Her son physically facepalms and starts to apologize to us.
>Manager makes us take the original couch back anyways and offers her a discount for her troubles.
>Basically blames us for getting the order wrong.
>As we drive back to the store he comments "And that's how you keep a customer."
>Wondered if the other employee squished next to me was thinking the same thing about getting rid of a body and if anyone would care if only the two of us came back to the store in the managers truck.
He's the kind of douche that lets a customer return a used couch that we have not sold for years, obviously had been in a dorm or some casting video because the customer complained that a spring came out.
I swear we have had shit come back because of him that had body glitter on it.
But hey, "We made the customer happy."

>>9424408
To be fair, having a plastic crab would be a really cool thing.

I worked at a Harris Teeter for 3 years. It was pretty mundane customer service shit (90% of people are cool, 10% are fucking vile pieces of shit that make you want to kill yourself, etc). Until I started doing nights.

We were a 24 hr so after 11 the registers would close down and it would just be the u scans. I was the watcher of the uscans, while the stockers did their shit in the store. Some things:

>Drunk people who were drunk and stranded and wanted me to leave my job and drive them fucking home in my car. they were drunk and hungry so I felt bad and bought them slim jims. Then they tried to fucking steal on the way out and I had to yell at them

>A man buying steak. Except he was so drunk, all he could say was 'steak'. His credit card wasn't working, and I was trying to help him, but all he kept doing was pointing and mumbling steak.

>A woman whose son was a drug addict came in, had a meltdown arguement with him in the parking lot bought some stuff, then burst into tears and asked me to hide her change because he would beat her for it. I got her a chair and let her sit down and have a good cry, tried to talk to her.

>a man came in, got into our beer and wine section, drank a giant jug of wine, tried to cut his own throat. The baker wrestled him to the floor and I grabbed his arm, but he stabbed himself with a piece of the jug he'd shattered on the floor and sawed a cut across his neck. 911 had to get him. We re-opened 2 hrs later.

>>9424489
As faggoty as he is, he's right. Customers are fucking insane retards. Just give them the new couch and gtfo. I don't know if I woulda given them the discount though. And I definitely would've talked shit about that customer once I was back in the truck

>>9421144
>>he points to a cake
Yeah thats about when I would be done too

>>9421806
The first time I got a complaint I was so depressed and fucking angry. It was just some impatient fuck who thought we weren't doing our jobs fast enough even though we were hauling ass

>Be in the back room.
>Packing garbage into the wet waste compactor in the middle of the summer, smells like shit and death.
>Someone from deli asks me if I can grab something they can't reach on their pallet.
>Fumble around and grab some of the plastic containers she wanted with my trash covered hands.
>Hand them to her and notice she is wearing that perfect white getup the sushi makers wear.
>She thanks me and heads off to probably go fill those trays with food.
>Shrug and keep tossing gross as fuck garbage, dirt, and glass into the compactor.
>Wonder if she is going to clean those things before packing them.

>>9424211
Sandwhiches

>>9421330
>Usually these are part timers doing 4 hours a day on the weekends, let them do their one job
Fuck 'em. They are always horrifically slow, and in the time it takes them to get one fucking bag done, I've finished three bags and have them loaded into the cart. I just want to get home, I don't want to tie up the line, so just go mess up bags at another lane and let me handle my own bagging.

>>9422401
£3
>feels bad man

>>9422401
$10 at Publix.

>you can't override yourself.
Fuck you. If you didn't want me to override myself you shouldn't have given me an override number.

Other things that require an override
>Accepting $1,000+ at once
>Erasing entire transactions
>Signing someone else off
>Signing anyone off if the have a transaction saved up.
>Accepting more coupons than there are items on transaction.
>Accepting a coupon that would otherwise leave you with a negative balance

>>9424808
lol where at? Poundland?

>>9424928
Asda

>>9424211
it's all surface area

Former deli worker/fried chicken guy

>cut a piece of meat, customer asks for it to be thinner
>recut the same setting on the slicer, they're fine with it
>4 pounds of chip chop ham please :^)

Luckily management never worked nights so we could shut down an hour early and clean. The worst part was the special orders for chicken

>Man comes in and wants 180 deep fried chicken breasts, all of them covered in barbecue sauce.
>He does some event at his restaurant every year and he used to have to do it himself, but since he found out management won't say no to anything he just comes to us
>Have a plan for getting it done on time while still doing the rest of the days work
>lol coworker lazy girl is scheduled that day instead
>order is almost 3 hours late
>he gets it for pretty much free

>>9421330
Baggers are fucking useless and they don't need to exist. If you need a part time faggot just because MUH JOBS then pay the kid the same amount to polish fruit or jerk off the butcher.

> working customer service desk
> man comes up very angry saying price for his cheese was different on shelf
> walk with him to shelf
> the price on the shelf is more than he paid
> try to tell him that the difference is on us
> he is still angry
> wants to pay the full price
> makes me ring him up for the extra 13 cents
> he happily pays
> he is all smiles as he leaves

okay then

>black dude in a wife beater and jeans comes up to the counter
>asks for a $2995 money order
>yeah no
>decline his ass
>immediately gets pissed off, almost like he knew I was gonna deny him
>he tells me that's all he has in his account
>IDGAF
>asks for a manager
>leaves before I can walk outside if the office

Woop

>>9421330
Spent 3 months in america. Had groceries bagged for me four times before I decided that I was done with their bullshit. The only person that was able to bag my stuff properly and timely was a literal down syndrome retard.

I can do my own bagging twice as fast in the exact way that I want it. Also better for the environment because I'm not using 6 plastic bags.

I once had some lady fucking ask for 40$ in singles. It told her dumbass that would clean me out bc my till was just check, but she insisted on getting it from me
Tfw I spent 2 minutes too fucking long trying to keep count as I separate 40 crisp dollar bills from eachother
>It's for poker :^)

>>9425119
>>9425119
never understood why people don't just hit up an ATM. Some placed even have them in the fucking store

>>9425050
>>9425033
>>9424623
>>9424420
Most of them were useless with like maybe one competent one and would always nbag for whoever they were 'buddy buddy' with.
I liked bagging shit myself time goes by quicker if Im doing something
They all left when school started anyway lmao

>>9425123
You have seen an ATM that dispenses singles?

>>9425123
>The atm was literally right next to my till
As we all know, people become legally retarded when they enter a supermarket

>>9425133
ah, right, i'm old, I forgot they don't anymore.

>mfw banks won't even take change anymore

reee

>>9419584
Assistant Store Director at a regional chain. My biggest issue lately is theft from the really bottom barrel people. Most of the actual drug addicts have store bans on them now and all I have are the sad sacks left. Peppermint extract rubbing alcohol, and anti diarrhea medicine are getting stolen in small amounts when I have my lower tier managers closing the store. The anti diarrhea medicine was the one I had to look up since apparently certain ones if you take the entire bottle at once you can get high. If I ever got that bad in life I think I would need someone to just fucking shoot me. I almost don't want to catch them simply because life has apparently already fucked them ten times till sunday.

>>9425151
Not like you can *do* anything to them besides ban them from the store or call the cops, and in the interval they'll leave. You ain't even allowed to legally restrain someone anymore unless they're running out with stock

>>9425151
So pretty much extreme constipation in exchange for weak high, what a trade off.

>>9425154
Oh I know, luckily this is a smaller town so I can keep track of the harder addicts and ensure they don't sneak in. Most of them also have long since been so deep in with the law that they barely ever leave jail. Most of the stuff we are losing aren't major loss items, thankfully. I lose more a week off truck drivers driving like loons than theft shrink.

>>9425155
I think the exact words with one of my lower managers at the time when I figured it out and explained the shrink reason was "No shit" "Well that is the least of their worries"

>>9425151
That's just depressing, man.

>>9422924
I work in a computer shop, and middleaged muslims are usually the worst to deal with when it's about voided warranties.

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>>9422501
>Hello Woolworths

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>>9424587
>all he could say was 'steak'

>>9425036
What is it with retarded customers and fucking cheese

>>9424270
Call someone from Japan

You can tell someones going to bitch about something over the way they glare at the screen
>Guy has one tomato
>No sticker so I just put in the cheapest one, it was also small so it came up for less than a dollar
>'Actually no that's a roma tomato'
>Don't do this to me.png
>notices right after the credit transaction went through so there's nothing I can do
>Tell him to go to customer service
I felt bad I had to pin them t the front desk for a dumb ass mistake, but hey they probably got charged more so they do them

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>Loss prevention walks by me and hands me a handful of alcohol theft prevention zip ties.
>Asks me to go help a customer over in tools, around the metal snips.
>Walk over to the gentleman currently holding a box of shoes doing jumping jacks over in hardware and ask him the usual customer service shit.
>He fucks over to another isle.
>Use the zip ties I was given to secure the fuck out of anything that can cut a cable in the isle and walk away.
>Watch him come back to the isle later and lose his collective shit when he cannot manipulate a single wire clipping item there.
>I even put one on a screwdriver to fuck with him.

>>9425039
Why tho?

>>9424472
Hahahaha I had a friend at BK who would always hook it up. Place your order at drive thru and if he knew you you'd find extra sandwiches, one time I got like a whole big bag filled with fries and the sandwiches on top.

A different person in high school worked at the same place and literally fucked up giving my friend change so bad he MADE money purchasing bk.

>>9425322
Babby momma needs money for dem kids.

>>9422401
50 at home depot

>>9425351
No why deny him service, like fuck it what's it to you? Unless the company had an established protocol against transactions that size.

>>9425410
$3000 is like the cutoff for requiring us to fill out extra government paperwork. It requires two forms of ID, a SSN, and all kinds of extra information. When someone tries to jump around and be just barely under that range it's a severe red flag.

>>9425321
Wut

>>9425456
So what if he's trying to order Columbian Bam Bam. It's not your place to deny him service deputy dog

>>9425474
Actually by the policy of WU and MO services it is the duty of the merchant to deny service in the case of possible fraud. You won't be found liable but if you repeatedly ignore signs willfully they will cut off your entire damn company. Which is why most chains have pretty hard rules on money transfer limits.

>>9425494
Yep. Just doing what I'm told. I couldn't give two shits about what people wanna do with their money or how illegal it may be. I recently got busted because a guy bought upwards of $4000 in money orders by sending one different guy in at a time with a stolen credit card. Spacing it out over hours.

>>9425282
I swear to fucking god.
>"everything ok sir?"
>he just kinda shrugs and points. "Steak"
>"uh... ok just slide it again?"
>he slides, it beeps
>"Er... are you... try it the other way?"
>"Steak?"
>"just let me uhm... do something on my terminal"
>go back, have no idea what he's doing wrong
>"Are you trying to get cash back?"
>"Steak" he says plaintively, gesturing to his raw t-bone

Eventually his card worked thank god

Had a buddy who gave me free money while returning bottles.

>>9425466
Bored people fuck with shoplifters.

>>9425573
I work at a pharmacy and always screw around with the scammers that try to buy stacks of those $25-500 Visa cards

>>9424355
Low minimum wages allow people with little to no skills, such as young teenagers and poor uneducated folk, to make money and get job experience. High mimimum wages remove these people from the labor pool by making an artificial floor on the price of labor (wages). Most people, such as yourself, assume that higher minimum wages help these people but it's really quite the opposite.

That is proven economic fact.

>semi-educated young people standing around packing bags when there are many better things they should be doing.
You cannot determine what someone should be doing. Nobody can but that individual.

>>9425640
Oh Love doing that shit.
Until Christmas rolls around and I have to explain to the little old lady why she can't use her check book to buy those cards.

>>9425640
How exactly does that scam work?

>>9424362
>higher minimum wage but lower unemployment
Economically infeasible for an extended period in a free-market, take a basic macro-econ course.

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>>9419584
>Work as a third party stock manager for different supermarkets.
>Usually really good.
>Everything is neat and tidy.
>Except Poundland.
>Every single one is abysmal.
>Damaged boxes everywhere.
>Mousetraps are common.
>Stock is always mixed together.
>Antifreeze bottles in the same box as pet and human foods.

I don't know how they aren't being sued and closed down. A word of advice and warning to every brit. Never, ever, ever buy consumable items or clothes at poundland.

Worked in the deli of a local supermarket for a summer. No real hellish customers or anything. The deli manager told me if we get backed up and customers start getting ornery, throw them some free samples of popcorn chicken to shut their gob. Worked every time.

The only strange thing that happened was like 3 days before I left to go back to college
>early morning nobody in store except staff
>going through deli startup checklist
>hear bloodcurdling scream
>qt hispanic produce chick running around screaming bloody murder
>run out to see what the fug
>gigantic black and yellow spider on floor near bananas like 10" long
>throw apron over it, sweep into box and throw it in dumpster out back
>girl is crying her eyes out, manager doesn't know wtf is going on
>explain and he sends the girl home
>girl comes in the next day and gives me a big ass plate of the best chicken empanadas I've ever ate

In retrospect I should have married that chick just for the empanadas

>>9425980
damn right you should have, you know it's real if she thanks you with food

>>9426028
Confirmed, anon just missed out on his one true love qt with traditional values and manners.

>>9425980
You only get three, Anon. I hope you can get back to her or still have two left.
https://youtu.be/s388ypxVwg8

>>9425980
Oh fuck you just reminded me

>assistant manager at Wal-Mart
>just moved to 3rd shift a few weeks prior
>called up front for the trillionth time
>someone had a fucking brown recluse in a cup
>found it in the in-store Subway, which had been closed for hours
>I am arachnaephobic
>tie cup in trash bag, throw into compactor, wait hours to crush
>weeks later after I entered work order for pests, exterminator tells me he can't do anything

btw this was in Michigan, they have come north

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>Notice mice have been eating my candy bars.
>They only go after one brand, snickers.
>Little niggas have taste.
>Write off mouse traps and one of the bars.
>Cut little chunks off and stick them on the traps.
>First night I watch a mouse take the bait right off the trap.
>Fuck.
>Really press the caramel into the trigger plate and reset the trap.
>End up catching three mice over the rest of the next day.
>Have to clean up mouse blood spills all over the walls of my kiosk.
>Pretty sure security has the angle just right on the cameras to see the splatter happen.

>>9421096
I mean, you hating your country is your own business, I don't give a shit, but it sounds like you're just actively looking for faults, and I don't know why you're posting this garbage on the cooking board.

Recently was moved to produce. I never realized how much I hated working with people when I was given the opportunity to work in complete isolation and thrown right back to front end when it got busy
It's cold asf, but time flies when your cutting fruit

I was doing third shift stock at Giant supermarket stocking shelves teens come in and trenchcoat one of them drops a big black dildo like 4 feet from. Me I'm like what the fuck walk a way. Another time there was this homeless guy that kept showing up begging for a job and sleeping out in front of the store this went on for about a week until we call the cops on the dude

>>9419656
>>9419678
They banned the locking mechanism in Yurop, you have to keep the handle pressed.
Solved both the problem of dysfunctional mechanism and people walking away.

>>9425668
It works with an efficient education system, not the Murican joke of an education.

>>9419584

i worked stacking supermarket shelves when i was like 15 only memory of it was some old greek customer explaining to me for 20mins what the best kind of olives were

>>9419584
When I worked at a grocery store in college, which was just off campus from the medical school, some med students hid jarred fetuses around the store; beer aisle, pickle aisle, feminine hygiene aisle, deli meat section.....it was a mess and caused quite an uproar, the cops had to come in as well as a coroner to verify that they were pickled fetuses.

I used to work in an office at the back of a grocery store doing data entry and ordering stock.
I had a tinted window facing the street that was covered by bushes. One day I was sitting at my desk and this guy walked up to the window and pulled his dick out and was about to start pissing. I thumped on the glass with my fist and yelled out for him to fuck off.
He tucked his dick in pretty quickly and ran away.

We had cameras pointed at the window from inside because it was a break in point. Caught the thing on tape. My boss was an angry south African bitch so she tracked down his identity and gave the footage to police, he had to go to court and get a fine.

>>9421777
I feel the same way. Like are people really so fucking awful that me just going about my business trying not to be a pain in the ass is such a great thing?

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>ask a fat woman for any donations or roundups
>they literally always say no as quick as possible
>while buying 200 dollars worth of junk food

Not weird or a purchase but I was stocking dairy on veterans day, spotted an older guy next to me with an Army shirt or showing the branch and thanked him for his service. Turns out he was an intelligence officer after WWII and ended up talking to me for about 30 minutes as I was stocking about operation Gladio and his hate for commies. Most interesting conversation I've had with a customer and he seemed genuinely happy, almost teary eyed to talk about it and have someone listen.

>>9427675
>begging people for shekels while they are trying to shop and go home

>>9427323
>Caught the thing on tape.
How long do you usually keep things before deleting them?

>>9419584
I still can't believe how many people actually buy those blocks of liver pudding.

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>>9419638
>not using antique pumps to fill your antique car
Fucking plebs

>>9422748
>. And then she would tell us when she was "satisfied". She would always go on about how much she "loved her cheese" while we were doing this
kek

>>9427261
>not the Murican joke of an education.
We know Common Core sucks you obsessed fuck.

>>9427801
Would record onto a hard drive, I think it would record for about a week and when it runs out of space it starts over and records back over the old footage.

It was hooked up to computers so you could select bits you want to keep and save it permanently onto the computer.

>>9427293
Is it bad that the first thing that came to mind to me would have been to get a spa gun and scan a pickle jar, make some clearance stickers and put them on the jars if I found them?

>>9427839
That's interesting, thanks.

>It was hooked up to computers so you could select bits you want to keep and save it permanently onto the computer.

Aren't you legally obliged to delete it after some time? I assume after some months or a year max.

>>9427849
Data retention policies differ by country and state. CCTV laws are kind of a joke and probably should be updated.

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>>9427769
if I don't get the highest donations of the month I won't win 100 dollars of in-store credit

I need it

>>9424587
holy fuck

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>>9419584
>popular new england chain supermarket
>work in deli department
>deli has seafood section with live lobster tank
>customers asks "How fresh are your lobsters"

>>9425816
Fuck you're right, that's probably why we've seen so many western and northern European states collapse since the end of WW2

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>>9427905
>Work in meat department
>Have people routinely ask if the fucking cold pink chicken in our fresh case is raw

I got a lot of minor stories like that\
>"Is the Italian flavored chicken spicy?"
The light is completely gone from my eyes and the customers know it

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>>9427973
Also a few months ago the meat manager just walked out on the fucking job so we had no manager and only one meat cutter and it took them like 2 months to find a new one.
That poor mother fucker was working 60 hour weeks and worked like two weeks in a row without a day off and barely complained.
And our new manager talks about how much he hates the job and wants to quit, if he does I think the cutter is gonna cut his wrists.

>>9427986
>9:30 at night don't know why the fuck we stayed open this late when I never had a customer past 6:30
>A short black guy with a bike helmet on and his bike in the fucking store is staring at my chicken
>African, barely speaks English
>"Is dis chickin kooked?"
>No
>"Cook in microwave?
>No
>Walks off

>Taking fish out of case for the night
>Stupid cunt walks up and says she wants fish
>Starts asking me what's the most popular fish
>Has never cooked any kind of fish in her life before

>Morbidly obese black guy comes in and asks what kind of ground beef he should use in slow cooker
>Think he's confusing meats or cooking method
>No he really just puts ground beef in slow cooker and eats that
>"Is 73% real fatty?"
>Yes that's the fattiest kind
>"Oh good das mo flava"

I did have one really cool African guy talk to me about cooking duck for awhile though, I think he was trying to cheer me up because just before him I had the most god awful start screaming at me because we were out of some lunch meat and he overheard her.

>>9421330
That job doesn't even exist anymore in California, we're cucked so hard they banned grocery bags in the entire state.

>>9428053
They cost a dime you fucking memester.

>>9427986
A manager at my local grocery store got so fed up with their shit he emptied the safe on like late Sunday night or early Monday morning and nobody ever saw him again. Probably in Mexico or some shit

>>9428057
They're not the same bags though, and that's still a dime more than they used to be.

>>9425036
He probably had OCD.

>Stocking shit in frozen isle
>Everything is fine
>Suddenly some guy who looked 50ish started looking through the boxes on my u-boat
>"Uhhh can I help you sir?"
>He gives me the most blank stare I have ever seen, like he's a fucking corpse
>Not sure what do and he stops messing with my boxes and starts looking through the waffles
>Keep an eye on him but keep stocking
>He wanders the same two isles for like 15 minutes with a box of waffles and toilet paper
>Right when I'm about to get a manager cause this guy is so out of his mind his wife or carer come gets him

It was just depressing cause like I said the guy looked younger then my dad but he must've had early onset Alzheimers

>>9428065
In California plastic bags form gangs and murder kids with guns, that's why they had to get removed.

>>9424291
Sheeit, people like you who don't have much patience shouldn't work up front with people, you'll drive your blood pressure nuts.

>>9422460
This pisses me off because I know for a fact there are people working at my store stupid enough to take that seriously and give it to them for free. I expect these assholes say this whenever they get a chance because they know this too.

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>work at uni cafeteria
>serving pastas
>eyyy yo can i get that chicken mariana
>uhhh hey man can i have chicken mar-mar uh. marinara
>can I get chicken mar... uhh, that one.
It's literally only black people. Have they never heard of marinara before?
If we had the mariana filled with chicken world hunger would be solved. ITS MARINARA
Even the fucking indian exchange students can say marinara, why is it only black people. Pic related in every way

>>9423662
i happen to know two Pakistani acquaintances that host and serve at olive garden in CA. I hung out/talked with one from evening till dawn at my friend's place who was passed out from doing psychedelics. Shit like that makes me miss high school times and I'm an atheist.

>>9425143
i think schoolsfirst does. or count it at least. but that's a FCU i got cuz my dad works custodian at a college.

>>9425151
damn you should just sell them robitussin on discount.

>>9425640
its not a scam if its a guy doing it to up his credit game. some banks reward obnoxious behavior like that.

>>9428458
It's the Amazon cards you gotta look out for.

>>9425731
Typically the way it works is they use the prepaid visa card, and back charge the card they bought it with. It doesn't matter to the store they bought it at just the credit card company.

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This guy blocks your path, what do?

>>9428560
I would say excuse me, but I wouldn't look him in the eye or acknowledge him as I bump into him and knock him out of the way, more than likely causing him to drop his precious avocado.

>>9428560
I sneeze to throw him out of the aisle.

>>9428560

Pretty sure that thing is basically made out of HIV/AIDS

>>9428560
Did you just assume xir gender, SHITLORD?!

>>9422425
he sippin' dat lean

>>9428572
Yea, he looks sickly

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>>9424100
>sorry I got the cat wet

>>9421264
What was it like working with retards? Every King Soopers I've ever been in had a downie at every checkout line bagging

>>9428679
Not him, but sometimes I'd rather work with downies than non-disabled folk. Give them a simple and repetitive task and they'll perform it until you tell them to stop, and customers tend to be more cautious about being assholes when you've got a simple soul like that around.

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>Half way through long order
>Doing all the bagging, doing all the good bagging protocols AKA common sence
>Bagger comes along, and it's a fairly decent one
>Alright then. I start passing it to her.
>Order finishes
>I look over and see the girl has a 10$ bill in her hand
>'They tipped me'
Nevermind the fact that your not supposed to tip retail workers. I know for a fact that he wouldn't have given that to me despite scanning and bagging his shit
>mfw that money could've been mine for half the work

>>9428725
>Nevermind the fact that your not supposed to tip retail workers.
?????

lots of people who buy one banana and something like whipped cream

>>9428738
>tfw americuck
It's suffering man

>>9424587
lol what the fuck were you doing, was this your first job?

I worked a similar job next to the biggest douchebag bar area in the city and those people would have gotten kicked out within 5 minutes unless they were buying pedialyte or water. Or I'd at least videotape that shit to show people.

>>9428738
>>9428750
I think anon meant supermarket workers.

>tfw working graveyard shift right now
>tfw the town drunk is in again but I can't kick him out cause he's mostly sober and hasn't done anything yet

>first day on register
>didn't get any training so I end up having to work out the transactions and change mentally for the day
>give a woman too much change but realise it, she hastily walks out of the store denying it and laughing

Bitch

>>9428842
How much change? How poor is the neighborhood you're working at that one would run out denying that the cashier gave back too much?

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I have slight color vision deficiency and my roomate wanted ripe bananas, I had to ask somebody which bananas where the ripest on the tray, he told me which ones and when I got home my roomate was mad because they were apparently green as fuck.

Fuck that dude.

>>9428858
Did you explain your color blindness?

>>9428860
yeah I told the guy that they were all the same to me because of it and he still fucked me.

Roomate knew I have it but not for greens/yellows

>>9428862
Just feel them next time. Ripe is softer. Flex them with your hands covering the ends

I work graveyard shift in a small coastal town, at a gas station at the busiest intersection in the worst part of town. I have plenty of stories. Here's a couple. For some context to these stories I work alone.

A homeless man walks into our store and makes a beeline to the bathrooms, however the bathrooms are electronically locked. He comes up to me ans asks that i unlock them because he wants to wash his hands. This is a pretty common line i get from people who want to use our bathrooms to shoot up, so i direct him to a sink in the front of the store and tell him he can wash his hands there. I go back to my business, and about 10 minutes later i realize he is still washing his hands. I go to see what's up and he turns around and has a folding knife in his hands, pointed at me. I start to back up and reach for my phone, thinking i'm about to get robbed by a smack head when he says "hey man, check out this cool knife i found. I think its a real army ranger knife!" He then walked around the store showing it off to everyone, before leaving. It was obviously a very cheap folding knife.

>>9428980
Most druggos that are high don't actually want to hurt anyone, at least in my experience.

>>9428458
How does buying gift cards help your credit?

>>9422401
I worked at a tesco petrol station and didn't have a void limit

Hell I even did refunds without bothering the manager

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>be student with part time job in store
>woman comes in with kids
>"make sure you do well in school son or you will end up like that man"
>points at me while i'm scanning their shit

>>9429084
Ask her for permission to be on TV
There are hidden cameras and you're filming an episode of undercover boss, you're the CEO of Walmart.

>>9429084
You should have offered the kid free drugs.

>>9429084
Ah yes, one of their many first lessons in life: "look down upon others, follow my rules and your success is guaranteed".

>>9429044
Buy gift cards, use gift cards to pay credit card debt on time.

>>9429084
The absolute audacity

>>9429096
>>9429102
>>9429107
>>9429125
That's doesn't really bother me Tbh

It's the old cunts that call you a stupid and shit for no reason.

>>9429084
kek I get the same shit, fucking customers

>>9421144
How the fuck does one confuse cake with donut

They are very distinct food groups here in the u s of a

I used to stock grocery stores for an alcohol distributor.

Buy more carts you fucks. We need to move on with our route and Becky is using four of them for paper towels or ramens or some shit. I on the other hand have 50 cases of breakable product.

>>9425289
Goes well with potatoes.

>>9428560
How would he be blocking my path? I don't eat that shitty meme food.

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>>9419584
when I worked at Safeway in San francisco as a kid one night we caught a homeless nig trying to have sex with a frozen turkey
I yelled at him but he wouldnt stop, so I called security over and he had to hit the guy with his baton to make him quit
that turkeys pussy game was cold but tight I guess

>>9429334
never go cold turkey

>>9428858
LEL

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I've worked at a high end supermarket for the last 9 or so years, used to be a cart bitch but now I'm in some weird middle management data position. It's alright I guess.
From the cart bitch days:
>cleaning up carts in the sweltering underground parking lot
>woman comes up to me, absolutely irate
>"can you report people for parking in the mother/child accessible spots who OBVIOUSLY don't have children"
>I tell her no, it's not a legally mandated thing, and she gets pissier and walks me over to the car in question
>it's a gold coloured Mercedes-Benz
>"there's no CHILDSEAT inside, how dare they park here, entitled assholes, etc."
>I say passively that it might belong to a pregnant woman
>she gets red in the face, agrees with me, and wanders off embarrassed
Why were you snooping in a strangers car, fucking white women.

>used to help this super nice mid forties rich blind Japanese woman shop, led her around and collected her groceries for her
>she loves chatting with me, always super nice (even if she is a bit of a gold digger), comes in and will ask for me or this other white chick to help her
>start hearing other co-workers (all Filipinos) talking shit about her, calling her racist
>turns out she won't let them help her because their English is fucking terrible and they have no product knowledge despite some of them working there longer than me
>they unsuccessfully try to get her banned from the store because they suck at their simple jobs
Really how hard is it to read product packaging.
I have other stories, like when a baby squirrel got stuck in the parking lot, or the second-hand story I heard from the security guards about the miscarriage they found in the ladies room once, and some other shit I'm sure. All in all not bad a job in retrospect.

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>>9424376
found the stormweenie

(no pun intended)

also ive worked at tim horton's, taco bell, and mcdonald's (Im from northern burgerland) so I guess i'll share one story from each restaurant.

mcdonald's first:

>working the first window at mcdonald's
>management would print out customer comments and tack them to the wall for everyone to read
>so many retarded comments
>one person complained about getting a free extra slice of cheese because it "threw off her calorie counts"
>another got pissed when she asked for extra jalapenos, but she got "too many extra" and called us "smartasses"

>>9427954
must be nice having another country protect you militarily so you can allot funds to your own displacement by allowing muslims to have 10 kids on your gracious dime. enjoy that minimum wage though

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>>9429494
>>9429494
taco bell next

>working taco bell making tacos
>some guys order $10 in food, including drinks, i think it was two $5 boxes
>they get to the window, they look like swaggits, with flat billed baseball caps and glasses
>pretty sure hes got a dope leaf on his shirt
>cashier (not me) hands out the food
>they reject the food by throwing it and loudly shout "WE'RE GOIN' TO WENDY'S"
>i only feel pain that food was wasted, my training kicks in

tim horton's last

>its my first week there
>two managers are laughing with a regular customer
>one of the describes the muffins we have
>customer orders a chocolate chip muffin
>cashier says t hat we are out
>mangaer interjects "you could have a SARAH muffin!"
>i dont get it and ask, confused
>"that means vagina, stupid"
>i cringe and run to the back
>try not to cry
>say nothing the rest of shift

crazy tacklebox faces i tall ya

>>9429510
Thanks Tyler

>>9419584
Normal people.
I once bought 200 grams of chicken hearts, fried them and ate like 5 of them...

>>9426038
>Thanking someone with food after they help you is a "tradishuna"l "value"
>traditional values and manners.
That's a whole lotta assumptions.

>>9428458
We've only had one guy do that, the rest were people with stolen credit cards or counterfeits from New York. People used to get card number info from ATMs and make imitation cards, which they would use to purchase gift cards to put the money on before the account owner had time to cancel their cards.

Also the scammers would always buy the same shit, a box of Dove soap or an Oral-B toothbrush.

>>9428725
>evermind the fact that your not supposed to tip retail workers.
That's too fuckin bad!
The girl should've split it with you if she wasn't like that

>>9424587
Australian?

>>9429510
You forgot about all that amazing vacation time that helped fuel Greece's debt.

>>9429617
Not really, it takes time and effort to make a homemade dish which signifies work ethic and good time management to have the available time. That she did it in gratitude to a stranger signifies an old fashioned sort of philosophy that showing appreciation to strangers promotes a healthy society. There are good assumptions and bad ones, these are good ones.

>>9428858
>>9428862
If he's going to be a bitch to you for doing him a favor even after explaining the situation, then tell him to get his own fucking bananas next time.

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>customer asks if I have the key to the dressing room
>late 40-50's black woman
>kinda just grunt, I mean I am autistic
>say "if its closed theres someone in there"
>she doesn't understand this and goes over to the dressing room and opens the door for it
>the lady inside didn't lock the dressing room
>fat black lady opened the dressing room door on a chubby white lady
>she goes and complains about me so that I have to waste 13 minutes of my time talking with my store manager

do the retards get paid the same as the regular employees?

>>9430381
Who doesn't lock their fucking dressing room?

Sort of unrelated but a brutal shopping experience

>be 8
>notice sparrows flying around the store a lot
>ask young cashier woman how they 'take the birds home'
>she responds 'oh we catch and kill them after the store closes, or try gas them out'
>my face is pure horror
>cry
>mother complains
>cashier gets fired and the store apologises/ gives me chocolates, flowers and a huge stuffed toy

>>9429200
You also get paid twice as much as them and should be bringing your own equipment.

>>9430669
Males. We always hope one of the Penthouse stories describing a wench opening a dressing room door on a male and preceding to liquify and fall on her knees will happen to us.

Used to work at a grocery store meat counter. Every year around thanksgiving all the retards would come out of the woodwork.
>guy comes up to the counter with several bags of produce and a big ass chuck roast
>plops them on the counter and very confidently requests that we grind them all together
>have to explain to him that the grinder is for meat only
>he pulls the "YOU GUYS DID IT FOR ME LAST WEEK" card
>however our crew was small and we all talk to each other all the time and know none of us are retarded enough to risk our jobs for that
>he gets pissed off and storms away

Had a similar situation with a woman who claimed we sliced her rutabagas for her on our meat saws """"last week""""".

As a retailcuck one of the greatest feelings ever is seeing through a customers bullshit and just replying with "No we didn't" and watching them get unreasonably angry because their lie didn't work.

>>9432159
>As a retailcuck one of the greatest feelings ever is seeing through a customers bullshit and just replying with "No we didn't" and watching them get unreasonably angry because their lie didn't work.
i work graveyard shift at a gas station, and i'm the only one who does. its always great.

>the other guy sells me beer without an ID at 3am
>the other guy lets me use the store phone for my personal calls
>the other guy lets me pump before i pay
yea fuck off cunts. there is no other guy

>>9425541
>"Steak" he says plaintively, gesturing to his raw t-bone
You have a gift for storytelling. I lost my shit.

>>9419584
>Rural Australia
>Largely indigenous community
>All the stereotypes are true
>Working chain supermarket
>Customer service is a fucking nightmare
>People constantly trying to steal
>Constantly trying to beg for items
>Trying to haggle $56.45 down to $30 and some change
>Physical/sexual assault and verbal abuse at least once a day

>Stacking shelves while there's no one in
>Hear the door buzz
>Run back
>They're already half way over the counter trying to steal smokes
>customerservicesmile "Hi, how can I help today?"
>Government assistance card
>Have a 10 minute conversation that I can't sell them smokes or alcohol with dole money
>About 7 young guys come in
>Immediately over to the cooked chickens
>They clear out all the smallest ones
>Spend a week's worth of dole money on them
>They run out
>Take my break about 20 mins later
>Go around the back
>There's chicken carcasses and meat strewn around
>Completely coated in cum
>Gag and go back inside
>Local guy sitting on the step huffing glue from a coke bottle
>Pass by as he reaches out and gets his fingers caught in the door
>Moments later come out from bathroom
>He tries to stand
>Falls back and smashes through the front window
>Ambulances are all out
>Have to run down to the health centre
>Nurses are out
>Ask some medical students doing research on the local populace to help
>They patch him up
>Walk back inside
>Pack of kids came in and looted the place
>Just give up, report it, throw keys to the manager and go home to sleep for 12+ hours

>>9432261
The way abos smell is probably the worst part

>>9432261
>>Rural Australia

Whereabouts in Australia are you?

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>>9432261
>sexual assault
>at least once a day
Any stories? Please be as detailed as possible.

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>>9432261
>>There's chicken carcasses and meat strewn around
>>Completely coated in cum
You mean, like, they fucked the roast chickens?

>>9432508
Perth, but I was in a shitty town half way to the NT
>>9432519
Yeah, they use twine to pinch the end and fuck it, usually before, during or after eating it
>>9432510
I'll take the bait
>First month in town
>Have to take the job because otherwise I'd be sitting at home all day and my dad refused to have that
>Been working in the store for a week
>Stacking shelves while manager is in the back smoking
>Hear the buzzer
>Don't have a conditioned response to it yet
>Finish stacking and bend down to grab basket
>Feel a hand slide from my back down, through my legs and far enough forward for a thumb to get caught on the hem of my pants
>Just about launch into the shelves
>Aboriginal guy with about 4 teeth total is smiling at me
>Don't have an ear for the local dialect, but think he's pretending he slipped
>Bolt back to the front
>He spends about 20 minutes with the freezer door open just staring at choc milk
>Take the chance to dart off to the side and try to alert the manager
>Hear footsteps
>It's a fucking ambush
>Rams into me, knocking me into a card display
>Practically fucking mounting me from behind
>His face is jammed up against the side of my neck
>Crawl out and feel him run his hands over my hips
>Keeps coming closer
>Vault over the freezer to get behind the counter
>He just keeps smiling and goes back to looking into the freezer
>Text my manager
>No response
>Call him
>Nothing
>Call his name
>Guy comes running up and starts to round the counter
>Practically leap forward to get out before he can box me in
>Puts a hand out at neck level
>Gropes me as I move past
>Open manager's door
>He's not there
>Back door is open and I can see him about 150m away kicking rocks onto the road
>The guy is right behind me
>He leans in and sucks on the back of my neck
>He reaches out and grabs my arms
>Starts trying to lift my shirt
>Wriggle free and run
>He follows
>Run directly into one of the researchers who's stationed here
>The guy just smiles and walks away

>>9432592
Good stuff
What do you look like? Height, weight, cup size, hair, glasses etc

>>9432601
6'1
135kg
C
Black
Corrective back brace

>>9428679
If I remember correctly, we didn't have any full retards who worked there, but one of the baggers was mildly autistic, I think. You could just tell by the way he talked, but it wasn't crippling to him in any way. He could still hold a conversation, and actually did a decent job.

>>9428679
There was one bagger who had autism and anger issues. To put it into perspective her carer had to stand next to her as she was bagging shit
One day she asked a pregnant woman if she could touch her stomach. The lady said no. She freaked out and straight up hit the lady in the stomach
Another instance before this was her slapping a child for one reason or another.
I don't know why they didn't fire her after the first incident

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anyone have any good jester stories?

>be me working the register
>woman comes up with a baby in her cart, I start scanning her stuff
>I'm focused on getting home so my eyes are all on the food, she must be looking at the candy bars or magazines or whatever trashy shit we have on display
>glance up
>baby is gone
>replaced with a ground beef baby with olive eyes and bacon diaper
>my heart stops
>there's no way
>he wouldn't
>immediately call an amber alert, frantically look all around the store
>jester is hanging from the ceiling laughing his ass off
>fucking prick
>can't find the little shit, cops get called
>eventually we find it sleeping back in the break room
>mother's pissed, threatens to sue
>manager comps her whole cart just to placate her

I swear to God I think my manager was ready to shoot it. Are jesters always this borderline psychopathic?

Pic related, the meat baby looked close to this.

>>9433292
I have no idea what is going on in this story.

Fuck is a jester?

>>9433234
Grade-A management right there. Did the pregnant woman or kid's parents not threaten to sue or anything?

>>9428858
Maybe none of them were ripe

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>>9433331
You're lucky you've never run into the jester m8

>>9432159
Policy is policy and I understand you must follow it, but that's a stupid one. Just lobacten the fuck outta them s.o.b.'s when you're done. I mean I understand if it's busy you can't do that but if it's slow shouldn't be a biggie.

>>9430963
Hahahaha

>>9433366
They didn't. I think they let it go on the case of 'look how retarded this girl is, clearly she didn't know what she was doing'
I think that's why she was still working for a little while after the first incident, but one times to many and if they just got rid of her we wouldn't have another incident and that sweet potential law suit

>>9433428
I understand where you're coming from, but it's a small but busy store. Plus it was near thanksgiving so it was even busier than usual.
Having to sanitize the grinder an extra time just because someone wanted us to grind his broccoli would've slowed production to a halt.
We don't do shit like that because if we had to do it multiple times a day we would never get anything done.
Same reason why the store has a strict policy of only cutting bone in hams on the saw first thing in the morning, since doing it several times a day would require us to sanitize the saw before and after each time.

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>>9433292
...jester?

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>>9433331
>he doesn't know about gym clowns or grocery jesters

>>9433538
>>9433331
>haha im going to pretend to not know what a retail jester is

How about sharing some stories instead of shitposting?

>>9433454
Ooh holiday season! That guy can go fuck himself. Jesus I would be ashamed to ask for such extra time consuming work while a shopping riot is palpable in the air all around

>>9433552

Whoops meant
>>9433536

>>9433454
That's a bit of a stretch. I mean, autistic or not, becoming known as "the store with the bagger who hits people" doesn't sound like a good thing.

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>>9419584
>browsing cheeses
>older guy comes up to me
>"ah, a fellow cheese connoisseur, eh?"
>picks almost the cheapest shitty cheese
>walks off

>>9433707
Shitposting IRL

>>9433552
Holiday season at a grocery store is the closest I've been to becoming a mass shooter.
There's days where every single customer is pissed before they even start talking to you, so then if any one little thing doesn't go their way they freak out, threaten to never shop there again, call our managers and/or corporate etc.
Then there's the jackasses who don't want any of the turkeys on the sales floor, they want some mutant 35 lb turkey, so I have to dig through a freezing cold storage trailer for their turkey, biggest one I find is 34.5 and they get mad about it like it's my fault.

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>>9433707
>"I see you too are acquainted with the wonderful world, of ales, sir?"
>walks away with a six pack of bud light

>working night shift
>it's about 930 pm
>some dude in a big oversized hoodie and one of those big floppy beanies comes up to me and my co worker
>"ey man where's the sushi in this store"
>tell him our store doesn't carry sushi anymore
>"alright uh.... where's the liquor aisle?"
>point it out to him and he walks off
>coworker tells me he saw the guy come in and out if the store multiple times already
>we both look over at the door and see the guy leaving while clutching something in his hoodie pocket
>coworker calls up the store manager and tells him about it
>same guy walks back in, wearing a different hoodie and no hat this time
>we both start laughing at how ridiculous this guy is
>a few minutes later we see 2 managers escorting him from the store
>later they tell us they caught the dude walking around with a huge party tray of cookies under his sweater
>he saw them coming towards him so he dumped the cookies and tried to play it off like he never had them
Dumbest part of this story is that the store is 24 hours but there's no 3rd shift loss prevention person at all. This means if they catch someone stealing at night they either need to hope the cops arrive in time or just let them walk out.

>>9433760
>If one little thing doesn't go their way they freak the fuck out, threaten to never shop there again

This literally happened to me on the first fucking day I worked cashier, some dude in deli forgot to place a scan thing on some deli meat and the lady flipped the fuck out on me like it was my fault.
It didn't help that it was busy and customer service was packed as it was with express lane

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>>9427769
>Shekels so their accountants can donate it in the company name and get a tax deduction

The free gift that keeps giving. I loathe people who ask me to round up.

>>9425966
RIP Ashens, then

>>9433760
Or getting people who seem like this is their first time shopping for groceries even though they're 50.
>Does this cheese have gluten?
>Where's the sour cream
They're staring at 5 brands of sour cream
>So is this like a cheddar?
Clearly written Gouda on the package

Fun.

>>9434183
I used to always get customers that are older men that were sent to the store by their wives or some shit, and seem to have never even looked at a package of food before.
>excuse me, where's the... *looks at crumpled paper* pan...ket..ta?
>pancetta? Right over there
>ok now where's uhh... *squints at list again* parm..uh...san?
>parmesan cheese?
>well I don't know, maybe?
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT PARMESAN CHEESE IS? HOW DOES A GROWN ASS MAN HAVE LESS KNOWLEDGE OF FOOD THAN YOUR AVERAGE 5 YEAR OLD?

>cashier at local supermarket
>manager doesn't care about anything except losing money
>nobody checks the shelves for expired product
>new managers keep coming up with plans to check all this
>old guard managers and owner don't care
>I start checking items when its slow
>nearly clear the entire breakfast related product aisle on the first day of doing this
>on average the items were 6 months out of date with 3 years being the max
>this is the same for every single aisle
>owner just marks everything down and puts it back up

>customers don't like to put items back or hand them to the cashiers, they seem to be embarrassed or something about it
>find things placed randomly throughout the store
>some items get hidden behind other items too
>found a tub of ice cream in the bread aisle
>wasn't there too long but there was liquid cream everywhere

>break room is apart of the store room, not well cared for and maintenance never happens because store owner tries to pinch every penny he can
>go into the store one night when not working to grab something
>my friend who worked as janitor/courtesy clerk rushes past me with every absorbent thing in the store
>join him despite not being on the clock
>the breakroom bathroom exploded and water was gushing everywhere
>since the store manager didn't care about anything, a lot of stuff was just left right on the floor without pallets or anything to keep product raised
>nearly half the inventory back there was ruined as water went everywhere
>walk in freezer had a layer of ice that was never broken up expect to free the two pallet jacks we did have (at least in the 6 months I kept working there)
>there were boxes and other items just left there

I hated that place. Somehow it hasn't been shutdown, it stays in business by supplying the college town with a supply of 30 can boxes of beer and 40s. The average costumer was the greek houses or black people.

>>9429120
why not just pay in cash through a checking account?

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>>9428053
>>9421330
>>9424453
I always hated bag niggers. I live in CA and bag niggers will over fill my reusable bags almost to the point of bursting. It fucking triggers me at costco. Some mong is making $20 an hour to fuck up my bags REEEEEEE GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PROPERTY YOY DONT KNOW HOW TO BAG

>>9434271
Old customers are the worst.

>some old woman comes up with a full cart
>its a really busy night and we are down a register due to a computer problem
>she puts one item onto the belt and tells me the price
>scan it and its the price she said
>she does with with every item
>even similar items
>registers were too big to let me lean over and grab stuff
>she would shoo away anyone trying to help her unload
>spent nearly an hour scanning one item at a time
>we only had three other registers open and the lines were super backed up
>this old dumb cunt did not care, she had to tell me the price of each item and give it to me one item at a time

>some old guy comes in
>places three grapes on the counter
>hands me a coupon
>pulls out his checkbook and writes a fucking 10 cent check
>storms off because "[I] took too long."

Old people are also the ones who are going to yell at you.

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>>9434451
I feel bad for the truly ancient oldfags I see.
>be at 99 cent store buying beer and candy
>some ancient looking broad that looks 90ish is ahead of me
>says she feels tired and sound like she is gonna keel over and die at any moment
>shop boy comes over and loads her cart
that old bird is probably one slip and fall from living out the last few months of her life in some nursing home

>>9434451
Lol old people are the worst. This one sounds Jewish lol they think they're outsmarting the system but they have dementia.

>>9434418
That doesn't build your credit score because you never had any debt

You know when those $1 coins came out? I bought my credit limit worth of them because my credit card gives a fraction of a mile for each dollar I spend. I waited for the end of the month and then paid my debt off with those coins. I got a free flight and a decent raise on my credit score for that. Its been since fixed. But the systems that run these things don't really know what your doing, they just see you taking in $5,000 worth of debt in one day and then paying it off before the payment is due.

Giftcards in general are pretty easy to game to get yourself free stuff.

>>9429120
Uh what fucking credit card company lets you pay with a gift card?

>>9434609
None, you use the gift cards to buy other gift cards if you want to churn

>>9422460
I don't have words to express my rage.

>>9434621
Fucking what

>>9434489
>I waited for the end of the month
That's dumb, you don't need to do that. You can pay as soon as you're showing a balance. The credit raise comes from having a line of credit where you made on time payments and didn't have an unreasonable credit utilization ratio. On time doesn't require you to wait. It just requires you not to be late.

Just remembered another good one
>some customer comes by and fucks up the tag on our lobster tank by moving the "6." behind the "1"
>tag now reads "$1 99/lb" instead of "$16.99/lb"
>not sure whether it was the same person but someone orders 3 lobsters
>scan and bag them
>UHHMMM... EXCUSE ME THESE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE $1.99 A POUND
>no sir they're $16.99
>NUH UHHH LOOK
>I come around and look at it
>I push the "6." out from behind the "1"
>Yeah looks like someone messed our sign up, sorry about that
>I WANT IT FOR $1.99
>I literally an unable to do that, sir. The scale only goes by what the price in the system is and only a manager can override it
>he's practically throwing a temper tantrum now, demands the manager
>the only manager on duty is our smug as fuck produce manager
>call him over
>customer rants about our sign saying 1.99
>smug manager tells him that TECHNICALLY it didn't say "1.99" it said "199"
>offers to change it to the sign price of $199/lb
>customer is fucking SEETHING because his shitty scheme backfired on him
>storms off saying he's gonna call the corporate office and all that shit
>me and smug manager laugh after he's gone

Speaking of building credit history and upping your score, isn't it a bit hard to do now with that recent hack?

If you ask me, I feel like the government should handle credit history.

Nationalize all current credit bureaus into one single government run one that allows free credit history checks 24/7 instead of just once a year under the current system.

After all, the Equifax Data Breach makes it impossible to never not be paranoid about your credit history since the data breach included social security numbers and other stuff.

Unless everyone in America that is alive gets new social security numbers, how do you fix this problem?

Makes you wish Bartering came back in popularity.

You give your neighbor some eggs and they will trade your flour and milk, etc

Sigh, this problem all stated because banks and companies ignored that statement under your social security card that states "Not to used for identification purposes" and the American government didn't have the balls to tell them to "Fuck Off, these numbers are only to used for social security and nothing else"

>>9433707

He was taking the piss out of you, m8

>>9429084
I understand that people are complete retards, but it's hard to imagine someone doing that when the retail worker is obviously 25 or younger. That is, it's acceptable for teens and college students to do retail/rest work. I don't recall anyone ever disrespecting me when I delivered pizza in college. (not that anyone should disrespect 40 yos who do retail/rest work.