just ate some raw cookie dough. How fucked am i?

>>9418260
You're probably fine unless it was old

RIP

Rip extra dead op

if i were you id make myself vomit asap

I hope your toilet is functioning well. Place a few long novels like "War and Peace" within easy reach as you'll be sitting there enough to finish the 1300 pages.

was there meat in it? no? youre fine.

>>9418260

There's virtually no chance of getting salmonella from raw eggs. Only 1 in 20,000 eggs is contaminated with salmonella, and even then you have to ingest enough of it to actually get sick. Anyone afraid of eating cookie dough needs to take their chances and get a life. Just don't eat raw or undercooked chicken. That stuff is literally coated with feces.

>>9418659
how tf you get salmonella from cookie dough or chicken, not even a salmon

>>9418260
You're already dead.

>>9418659
>There's virtually no chance of getting salmonella from raw eggs.
>1 in 20,000
LOL!

>>9418260
You should be fine if it was free range cookie dough. I wouldn't eat a battery raised cookie dough raw.

>>9418260
Call your loved ones to say goodbye.

You don't have long.

What was the environment you found it in? Sandy or mulchy? You should probably head to emergency and take a sample of it with you so they can make an identification.

>>9418260
You're going to mutate into Cookie Monster now.
It's like being bitten by a vampire. There's no salvation.

>>9418260
Probably half dead already, OP.

Thankfully, you didn't eat a raw Poptart.

It's the shell of the egg that will give you the turbo shits

RIP in pieces.

>>9418780
>Your odds of dying in a car crash, over the span of your entire life, are somewhere in between 1 and 50 and 1 and 100. When broken down on a per year basis, your odds of dying in a vehicle crash would somewhere in between 1 and 4,000 and 1 and 8,000.

Still gonna get in your car tomorrow?

>>9418260
RIP in peace

>>9418260
Anon, I'm sorry, you're as good as dead. I've lost so many friends to raw cookie dough over the years it's honestly like the scourge of my life and I'm so alone now I don't even feel like a human being anymore.
May God have mercy on your soul.

File: 1398198611279.jpg (61KB, 720x720px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 720x720px

>>9418260
Rest in Pepsi dear anon, we hardly knew ye

>>9421628
Well shit now I'm just going to get behind the wheel as much as I possibly can.

>>9421658
>just going to get behind the wheel
unless it's backing up, then you're fucked

If you've ever eaten an egg with a runny yolk you run the same risk of getting food poisoning as you do eating raw cookie dough

>>9418260
Prepare for death

>>9421628
You're*

fucking retard

>>9421658
Underrated

>>9418260
Immediately consume activated charcoal

>>9418260
Just type up some bullshit and turn it in.

Some suffering on the toilet for a while, but it won't kill you.

>>9418718
Fuck that image is old