Webm thread

>>9377672
Goddamnit mom i was gonna eat those

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Let's get this party started, lads

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Posting some less common Ja/ck/s

>>9378019
has he never encountered a non-twist bottle cap before

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>>9378026
Yes he has

>>9378044
that looks like a twist off tho

>>9378044

Cut off before it starts foaming everywhere

>>9378079

Is he cooking pasta in luke warm water?

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>>9378044
>that big plastic piece of shit just to open a fucking bottle cap

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>>9378155
It's also a can opener and some other shit

>>9378140
he's afraid of anything hot, like cooking oil or boiling water...

>>9378018
Wish someone would add some triptych to this and make it a true Samurai Jack webm

>>9378181
>he's afraid of anything hot
He must be afraid of himself then too.

>>9378140
Looks like the ingredients went in before the water came up to boil. It's clearly boiling later in the video.

I don't think this is even his fault. He didn't come up with that retarded recipe.

And this guy has a cooking Channel?

Wow so much cringe

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>>9378473
>tfw Jack disabled ratings on all his new videos

>>9378040
Say what you will about his general incompetence, he definitely does a good job of showing how utterly useless all those "as seen on tv" products are

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>>9378229
>phone in the raw meat tray

and he wonders why he got pinkeye

>>9378478
B L A Z E D
L
A
Z
E
D

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how can a person be so incompetent? surely it's intentional

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>>9378498
he literally does not cook except when filming

>>9378491
He thinks people enjoy watching him bite things

>>9378505
>thinks
>whole thread on anonymous hawk training mini board devoted to him
>get real, anon

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>>9378505
clearly we do

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>>9378530
there's no way the good bits are jack

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>>9378558
Fucking retard

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>>9378558
duh, idiot

Who /bigboybites/ here?

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>>9378625
me

>>9378609
what is he doing?

>>9378478
Do you think people have died because they tried Jack's methods

>>9378493
Don't you mean pinked?

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>>9378634
using the low setting on his electric griddle and complaining that it is a defective product when in fact it is his brain that is defective instead

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>>9378639
possibly with the canning episode

>>9378634
Looks like an induction cooker, his pan probably isn't compatible.

>>9378018
god, the right way to chop bacon couldn't be any more clear and instinctual, yet this fat fucking retard finds a way to complicate and fuck it up

now i'm pissed

>>9378024
I would actually eat that...

>>9378075
fucking hell

>>9378071
Literally nothing wrong with that.

>>9378730
Jack's got the bite, the /bigboybites/

>>9378044
>that fucking limp grip on the bottle
This makes me more irrationally angry than it should

>>9378659
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5f9d3m35VU
posting in case people need to learn from it

>>9378579
Is that chocolate? Why is it lumpy?

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How do I become Jack?

Do we have Threadbanger webms? Rob is a riot. I don't know how that fucker hurts himself so easily.

>Wife pulls cake out of the oven
>He immediately touches it
>Wife harasses him over his dumbassery

>>9378845
hit yourself on the head with a hammer 10 times
if you survive, you'll become jack

>>9378845
YOU DON'T HIT A WOMAN

Jack is a troll and you're all being bated into his trap

>>9378839
Probably heated it directly on the stove instead of using a double boiler

>>9378885
His master plan is to get people to post webms from his vids and laugh about them?

>>9378691
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

>>9378528
horrible

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>>9378675

>>9378044
ok this is just fucking ridiculous. I understand this is probably from one of his as seen on tv videos where he reviews products but holy shit how does one not know how to hold a fucking bottle when opening it
a regular bottle opener would produce the same effect, any bottle opener for that matter
he can't be this retarded hes just memeing us I know it it has to be

>>9378075
The fuck is that?

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>>9379083
>cutting the fucking pie tin

>>9379083
>perfect circles
>misses

This guy just can't win.

>>9379108
I doubt he rinsed this seeing as how he didn't peel the sticker off.

>>9378486
Nothing wrong with this. Mayonnaise cake is really good.

>>9379112
i like to think he cut it on accident at first then was too embarrassed to admit it so he just rolls with it

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>>9379136
He says as a pro tip to cut the tin with scissors

>>9378845
lobotomy.

>>9379138
what an incredibly professional tip, how silly of me to question chef jack

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>>9379108

>>9379110
I think porkchops and rice a roni? It looks like roadkill and maggots.

>>9379129
Fucking kek! What an absolute re*ard

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>>9379129
>someone else was holding the camera and laughing at Jack

>>9379194
what's wrong with this

>>9379209
Proportions are retarded. Way too much ham

>>9378505
>lick things

>>9379209
The yolk is cooked through and the white off to the side is totally raw

>>9379209
Egg is under, but its far from his worst.
Presentation is actually half decent

>>9379216
Are the egg whites supposed to melt?

>>9379224
That's personal preference desu

>>9378018

BACON
NICE AND RUBBERY

>>9379220
this makes me so fucking angry
what a fucking idiot

>>9379220
>not just slowly lowering it in

Why the FUCK is he throwing them?

>>9379129
I used to get pissed at Jack for handling raw meat with his big gay fucking ring still on. Then I see that he also cracks eggs with it and I just don't care anymore.

>>9379239
Because he's a coward that's terrified of hot liquids.

I just found out Jack has a fast food review channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/jackonthego/videos

Will he fill Joey's place if he dies?

>>9378625
I /bigboybites/.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpPqguNvfEQ

>>9378044
he's like those retarded infomercial people except it's not on purpose

>>9378472
>that fucking weak slicing
pisses me off

>>9378528
Fucking hell

>>9378634
He is noticing that the induction cooker is not cooking on edges complaining about the product, but he did not turn on the outer ring option on the cooker, of course he is totally oblivious about it because he never bothered to read instructions.

>>9378845
Kill him and you will replace him.

>>9379339
You have to eat his heart, crispy black on the outside and red raw in the middle.

>>9379220
>not using the fucking tool he has right there

>>9378071
I don't see why people hate that method of putting ketchup on fries so much.

>>9379399
Because you grab ketchup with every fry? Half the fries get soggy because you can't eat them fast enough, everything underneath has no ketchup on it. It's just fucking inefficient.

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>>9378024

>>9378579
What the fuck is that supposed to be?

>>9378631
Awww that duckie <3

>>9378845
I'm sure you already hate Palestinians too.

>>9379083
This is like the opposite of those "satisfying" YouTube videos.

>>9379129
The egg was running away from being made into a disgusting dish so it just offed itself

>>9379162
Kinda looks like plov and like all russian food it looks nasty as shit.

>>9379194

>even bringing utensils close to bread

Disgusting, does he cut up his hamburgers too?

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>>9379572

>>9379575
Oh fuck, that jizz at the beginning.

>>9379129
JACK IS BACK!

>>9378659
Looks good to me, wow, he can cook something I'd eat. I like brownies that are cake-like, but still dense.

>>9379619
Would you still eat them if Ja/ck/ eye fucked you while you ate them?

>>9378814
At this point I'm afraid to ask but since I've never canned stuff before: What did he do wrong?

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>>9379650
Several people commented on the original video in detail about all the things he did wrong. Basically just about everything was wrong. He later removed the video and said he'll post one that is correct but never did.

>>9378480
Or maybe he's just so inept that he can't even use products that are meant to be idiot-proof.

>>9378024
At first I was like "oh wow he actually cooked something all the way through for once".

>>9379399
I do that as well, but I think the problem is more that he actually covers the fries in a full blanket of ketchup. Ketchup should add to the taste of the fries, not the fries add to the taste of your bowl of ketchup.

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this is why people consider eugenics

>>9378503
I fucking HATE it when people stick out their tongue like that before they bite something

>>9379466
Kwak kwak kwaaaaak

>>9379756
how many non jack people have you seen doing this?

>>9378079
Ist that supposed to be served as spaghetti soup? Or is he going to throw away all that liquid that has been infused with the tomato, onion and basilicum flavour?

If I see that fucking ring one more time...

I used to work with this dumb piece of shit like Jack.
Whenever he got on the forklift I'd have to leave the room, mostly because it was so hard to watch and also fearing for my life.

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For the uninitiated, what's the story behind this guy and why the attention?

>>9379809
As you should be able to tell from the webms he can't cook for shit.
Thing is, he's been doing a "cooking show" in YouTube for close to a decade now. He refuses to take any critique so he has not got even a tiny bit better in that time.

>>9379809
You know the saying about how if a infinite number of monkeys worked on an infinite number of typewriters eventually they'd write the complete works of Shakespeare? It's nothing like that.

>>9379809

He's utterly terrible at doing anything and some people find it hilarious, some people find it disgusting and some people find posting his webms to trigger the disgusted people hilarious.

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>>9379809
He is the gift that keeps on giving and the Lord and savior of /ck/

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>>9378075

>>9379399
Because it's inconsistent and messy.

>>9378071
God damn

>>9379809
The man makes the best BBQ sauce you'll ever taste, and uses youtube as a way to teach people how to enjoy it at home, kind of like the Betty Crocker cookbook meets the digital age

>>9379836
>the best BBQ sauce
Is anyone still stocking it?

>>9379820
what the fuck

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>>9379844
he distributes it from his website and sells it to people he knows or ask him about it when he drives around in the Sauce Mobile. He had twitter pics of a hardware store display a couple months ago.
oh look, http://cookingwithjack.com/store-locations/
walmart isn't listed, I don't know if they stopped carrying it or he just didn't feel like putting it on there. 15 locations is not a lot, but who knows the saucy truth

Has anyone here tried any of his recipes?

>>9379858
His Aunt Myrna (I think) told him that recipe, so it's probably from that WW2 era where everything had mayo and jello in it, and basically anything that was available would get tossed in.

>>9379863
>he drives around in the Sauce Mobile
This man is a living meme.

>>9379796
Rarely, but when it happens it annoys me a lot

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>>9379863
He's diversified!

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>>9379874
>that time Jack got his Jerky art done by his viewers in exchange for some a couple bottle of sauce

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>>9379809
he's just an average joe trying to make it in this world by choking his son

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>>9379863
>the Sauce Mobile
I refuse to believe this exists

>>9379129
I actually burst out laughing, this is fucking perfect.

>>9378019
there is no way this is not an act

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>>9379904
weloowelooooooolooweloowelooo

>>9379129
what is this paper he's barbecuing on?

>>9378472
Why the fuck is he using a cheeseknife!?

>>9380072
Copper sheet from the look of it.

>>9379876
it looks like they spent about 10 minutes in microsoft excel to make them

>>9380210
The artist got the raw end of the deal

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>>9379820
was that a cool whip casserole?

>>9379277
>here we go
>here we go
>here we go
>here we go
>here we go

True suffering

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shhh... no jack now

only the egg king

ALL HAIL THE SURLY KING OF THE EGG FORT

>>9380597
how does he get out of there without breaking the eggs?

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>>9380597

...and his loyal liege pawn

>>9380601

he has to fry all the eggs

>>9379575
J O O C Y

>>9378480
go away jack.

>>9378144
Looks like my first attempt at boiling eggs

>>9377672
sage for Jack

>>9378144
i fucking hate the way he cracks his eggs

>>9378498
I've said it before but Jack just makes me mad. If I was that bad at anything, I'd be laughed out of the room or lose my job.

>>9378040
The fuck is that supposed to be?

>>9379267
>if
The correct word is "when."

>>9378018
Jack is the knife master

>>9378845
If you weren't born with fetal alcohol syndrome, it's already too late.

>>9378018
>forgive me master, I'll have to go all out for once

>>9380068
Holy fuck my sides. I have such a hard time believing that he is serious and not just trolling, but time and time again he proves me wrong.

>>9380862
I think it's supposed to be a microwave egg cooker. He probably didn't put salt around the bottom and that's why it's stuck.

>>9378517
How did Jack get his hands on vantablack?

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i wish jack was just fucking dead

my life is worse for having learned of this disgusting fucking piece of shit

>>9378071
Nice potato salad

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Lots of rare jacks today lads, thank you

>>9378528
Such a thin steak, and he still couldn't cook it correctly.

>>9381174
thin steak is harder to cook because it's well done before it's seared

>>9379865
My friend who also lurks /ck/ made me the party cheese salad for my birthday one year as a joke. It tastes fucking disgusting and for some reason it held its shape and texture even though we got drunk and forgot to put it in the fridge. Didnt bother trying it again the next day, once was enough.

>>9378075
uma delicia

>>9381178
The color wasn't even right when he took it off the heat.

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>>9381151
Cheers m8

>>9379220
Do you have sauce? I really want to watch this video.

>>9381518
He's making beignets.

>>9381518
>>9379220
>>9381536

Found it lads: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jjkyz2a35RU

>>9381536
>>9381537
thank you family

>>9379277
I really want to see Jack suck a big juicy cock

>alright here we go
>mmm
>mmmmm
>delicious

>>9381537
>that fucking heavy breathing

Jesus

>>9378075
Stewed porkchops and rice. Straight outta my abuelas kitchen. Delicious.

>>9380597
>>9380607
What is happening to this site... why won't reddit just die...

>>9381550
>my abuela

You have to go back

>>9381555
(You) addiction and a fear of posting something that will attract negative criticism, aka downboats.

I mean, if people liked it the first 200 times, they'll still like it now, right?

>>9378071
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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He's praying guys! Better rev up those emails

Can someone explain this Jack guy? I've seen some webms and is he retarded or is it like a howtobasic kind of thing?

>>9381587
He should be on the front line handing out cups full of THE BEST BARBEQUE SAUCE You'll Ever Taste!™

>>9381601
Despite a few silly cunts here that say otherwise, Ja/ck/ is a legitimate buffoon and retard.

>>9378845
Use everything you know about cooking and do the opposite

Smash your head on the wall a few dozen times

Choke your son

You are Jack

>>9380068
How is he so lumpen. If he had white shorts he'd look like a fucking pokeball.

>>9378193
lewd

>>9381679
>lumpen
>adj., of or relating to dispossessed and uprooted individuals cut off from the economic and social class with which they might normally be identified

Hmmm....

>>9379735
delet this

>>9378472
I've never seen anybody do the anime knuckle thing before

>>9379874
I could see this having a little bit of success

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>>9381766
What in the hell is he doing here?

>>9377672
>Requesting any and all jack webms

Hidden, saged, and reported.

>>9381771

Somebody told him he could cure his pinkeye by putting cayenne pepper in water and putting it in his eye.

Absolute madman actually did it.

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>>9379797

No it's supposed to be a noodle dish where you add all the ingredients in at the same time. I made it a few years ago and it was really bland, although I basically just followed the recipe word for word.

Looks great in the pot though

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>>9381788
>Somebody

I think we can all recognize the ol' tappa-tappa

>>9378193
Because he is a hot mess

Somebody help me out please. I need the Jack webm where his son smacks down the frozen strombolis. I promise to make it worth your while with some OC

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>>9381843
I gotchu senpai

>>9381860
Thanks baby, I'll get crackin on this

>>9378144
That actually doesn't look terrible.

>>9381925
Are you fucking kidding, there's like a whole cup of water pouring out of that taco.

>>9378075
Resident evil 7 looks fucking great, they really managed to convey "horror" through such a simple thing such as food

>>9379267
>I just found out
You haven't been/jacking/ it very long, have you?

>>9381757
What a fucking spaz.

>>9381916
Someone's been watching Gordon Ramsay

>>9381860
Here it is. I know it's a low quality, but I'm just starting out on this software

>>>/wsg1859061

>>9382241
>>>/wsg/1859061

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>>9382241
>>9382245
kek, nicely done

>>9379735
>including the core
holy shit

>>9380068
Does he live within a tub of melty butter? What the fuck is wrong with the sky

>>9380815
>>9381783
You realize announcing sage and reports aren't allowed here right?

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>>9379108
Jesus..I don't know...he may be one of the greatest trolls of all time. The level of fucktard is something I haven't seen since college.

>>9379874
>The jerky comes with floss

I like this. I really do. That's a good idea.

>>9382408
>Neverending pie

>>9382423
If you think he is actually a troll, watch his videos with his brother on his channel "F as in Frank" and you will witness true stupidity.

>>9378528
These are the steaks sold at Dollar Tree shops.

they're great for shitty fried rice. Dunno how many tumors I've got now though.

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>>9382488
After see the post below...I have to see what you speak of good sir.

>>9381788
.....(posts in speechless)

>>9378163
That's like 6 portions in that pan, fuck

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>>9378579
>the way he scrapes the chocolate with the pan

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>>9378486

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>>9381587
>Texas floods
It took two years but Ja/ck/'s prayers finally resulted God's vengeance on those Texas investors who bullied him off their show

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>>9382576
kek, but that show was West Texas Investors, the hurricane just fucked up east Texas

>>9381587
>from california
>lives in tennessee
>is a cowboys fan
every layer of jack lore I peel through makes me more and more disgusted
even the greatest of storytellers couldn't create a more unlikable character

>>9382588
don't tell Jack, let him be satisfied in his ignorance.

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>>9382533
jacks a big guy, big guy gotta eat

>>9379863
its generic factory bbq sauce with a logo slapped on

lots of shitty salsa companies do this too

>>9377672
I would be very please to see anything with jack and joey put into containment board or at least /wsg/ with them having one day a year here since they suck so hard wilfully

>>9383031
/ck/ is the containment board for them

>>9383031
One thread vs the >6 fastfood shits

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>>9379277
>tfw Ja/ck/ has hundreds of hours of footage of himself eating on his computer

>>9379277
They should play this at Ja/ck/'s funeral

>>9380951
Underrated

>>9378071
>The virgin fries vs the Chad ketchup fries

>>9383486
In his will he's specified that he should be cremated, but not all the way, just until he's still pink inside

>>9383650
Joosy

>>9383650
There is no way you can cremate Ja/ck/, he's probably 60% pure lard.

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>>9383673
also he will never die

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>>9378051
Blue Moon bottles are all twist-off.

So he uses a bottle opener for the twist-offs and his bare hands for the normal bottles.

Hmmmm...

>>9383676
>tfw my eggs started coming out like these
>had to put a lid so it "steams" the top
>this was 10 years ago
how does this man have a channel and a sauce

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>>9378018
>cutting bacon with a filleting knife

>>9381790
Wait, chef John is white???

>>9383868
A knife is a knife anon. you can't say its only for filleting

>>9382605
I live 12 minutes from him, I sometimes get drunk and contemplate driving to his house to harass him

>>9383914
delet this

>>9383955
At least get us a photo of the THE BEST Sauce Mobile You'll Ever Drive!™

>>9383965
I may actually do this tomorrow for the lulz

>>9383955
I have very little doubt that if you show up drunk he'll dime you out to the police, just show up high and somehow figure out a way to cuckold him

>>9383974
If anon turns up with a a jar of THE BEST SAUCE to get a signature and a selfie Jack will probably invite him in his bedroom.

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>>9384047
I would give anything to lick Ja/ck/s cummies out of Tammies pussy after he is done power fucking her.

I imagine it looking something like this

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>>9384055
beautiful

>>9378525
Is that an egg poacher in the background?

>>9384077
Jack reviews kitchen gadgets and the videos do very well. That egg was made with the Egg Genie egg cooker, the product's box being pictured in the back of the clip.

>>9382622
whoa bro watch that file size, think of the bandwidth bro

>>9380066

Agreed. He's showing off how little he knows about beer to his fellow church-folk.

>>9378556
Majestic

>>9378493
Nah he beat his son for smoking pot. He just got pink eye from chicken or something

>>9380601
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZgVkP6o6Ig

Is Jack the DSP of cooking?

>>9378845
whats going on?

>>9384718
this is more British than anything I've ever seen

>>9381587
ofc hes a cowboys fan. or maybe he isnt and he knows that is the #1 troll team.

damn you jack

>>9379129

>just watches it slowly slide into the grill instead of doing anything about it

I fucking hate him for this reason. He sees shit going wrong and proceeds anyway and it's usually disgusting

>>9378528
>eating this crap meat rare
This guy is brave.

>>9379874
Wouldn't be surprised if the jerky is raw.

>>9378486
My wife uses mayonnaise to make biscuits. Turns out really good.

>>9381860
NANI?!

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This guy's the end of the fucking world.

>>9385095

what else would he do, cup his hand atop the grill? i wouldn't do shit in that scenario i'd be more interested to see if it was gonna settle.

>>9385362
Pull the copper paper up by the edge and corral the eggs into the centre

>>9379129
holy fuck i'm dying

>>9385400
Yeah, fucking hilarious ain't it?

Does he ever sharpen his knives?

>>9381757
FUCK
The worst part is he has pictures of properly made Yorkshire puds in the video so he knew what they were supposed to look like and still says his are fine.

>>9380232
Aunt Myrnas party cheese salad.

I've tasted it twice now

it was equally hellish both times.

>>9381860
That whole family is fucked

>>9379129
My fucking sides

>>9381916
i love how that was a pizza taste test, but he never even ate the pizza.

>>9379478
>offed itself
oeuffed itself more like ;^)

>>9384841
I cannot watch it because my ISP is British? What was it a Muslim stabbing a blackie over the sequence of jam and cream on a scone whilst a 15 year old chav on a scooter throws acid on both of them?

>>9385928
Its literally a black and white clip of a guy jumping over 2 eggs claiming he can jump on eggs and noses and not break them

>>9378839
He heated it too quickly and it burned most likely

>>9385579
>I've tasted it twice now
How?
Why?
Are you a masochist or do you have "friends" or "family" that hate you?

>>9378186
FOOLISH SALMONELLA WARRIOR

>>9378062
>Mom found the diarrhea jar

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>>9381587
on top of everything wrong with this piece of shit, he's a fucking cowboys fan

>>9378155

Not to mention he lined his entire countertop with paper towels just to do this stunt.

>>9378845
Jack reminds me of that one annoying friend your parents had that always kept cracking bad jokes at everything

>>9380068
The Barbecue Sauce You'll Taste!