Mashed Potatoes

>>9333959
>They're fucking flavorless.
If you don't know how to make them that is

Have you tried seasoning them?

>>9333959
Use sautéed garlic, chives, butter, sour cream, black pepper

>>9333959
>talks about memes
>can't roast garlic, use yukon golds, or make a twice-baked potato
Guess how I know you'll be starting your sophomore year of high school in the fall?

>>9333959
Ask your mom to add some herbs

>>9333970
>>9333971
>Add other flavors to give them flavor. Proving my point?

File: IMG_1098.jpg (28KB, 625x626px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 625x626px

>>9333979

>>9333979
Sure. Don't use any salt ever again. In fact, all your sauces from now on may only be based on water and starch.

>>9333979
90 percent of food sucks then. Got it.

>>9333959

What are you, some kinda idiot?

Carb addict fatties are going to throw a fit but yes, poatoes are almost universally underwhelming from a flavor perspective and only continue to be served as a holdover from an era where it was nevessary to shove such bland filler into meals to avoid starving.

They taste like potatoes and whatever you add to them, minimally butter, salt and cream or milk, fuckwit. They are a canvas you can paint with as broad or narrow brush as you wish, but since you're in middle school I wouldn't expect you to understand that allusion. Just cover them in ketchup and ranch like you do every other food and you'll love them.

File: IMG_1375.jpg (2MB, 2206x2168px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2206x2168px

>>9334009
>I think I'm intelligent but I'm actually just autistic: The Post

How to make them good:
Red potatoes, minimal cream, butter, etc., and leave the skin in. Use lots of spices

>>9334021
>they are a canvas
Translation: they are bland filler

>>9334040
>bland filler
Name a food that doesn't fit that description if you add nothing to it. Protip: You cannot.

>>9334200
Dry-aged beef.
Chili peppers.
Smoked salmon.
Salami.
this is too easy, it's like beating up a child.

>>9334206

Um but salami is literally meat with stuff added to it. And smoked salmon is salmon that's been smoked. Shit that's like saying "steaks with sea salt are perfect and don't need any seasoning". Well yeah, I guess if you ignore what's already there then sure.

Once again you're comparing this shit to plain potatoes right? Then shouldn't you not be comparing it to prepared foods? the only one I'l give you is chili peppers, and do you really think people commonly eat those raw?

>>9334234
You asked me to name foods, not individual ingredients.

Hell, even if you did want to take it to the level of basic ingredients it's easy. A good fresh tomato or a piece of raw tuna belly is fucking delicious as-is without any cooking or seasoning.

>>Once again you're comparing this shit to plain potatoes right?
Nah, >>9334206 was my first post in the thread. I wasn't following it, I just saw the pants-on-head retarded demand in >>9334200 But if you want to make potatoes the basis of your comparison then there are plenty of single ingredients which are much more flavorful and therefore don't constitute "bland filler": any kind of game meat. Many kinds of fish. The vast majority of vegetables and fruits. Heck, pretty much any single ingredient is going to be a lot more flavorful than a plain potato. Plain potatoes are about as bland as it gets in the food world.

>>Then shouldn't you not be comparing it to prepared foods?
You specified "Food" not "ingredient", not me. but even so most single ingredients are more flavorful than potatoes as I just pointed out.

>>chili peppers, and do you really think people commonly eat those raw?
Where I live (Texas near the mexican border) It's pretty common.

>>9334206
Everything you named has a shitload of stuff added to it except chili peppers which would be hot, but otherwise lacking in flavor especially without salt.

>>9334272
>any kind of game meat. Many kinds of fish. The vast majority of vegetables and fruits.

Without the addition of at a minimum salt, everything you named except fruit, tastes bland. Any meat without salt will not have much flavor at all, including game.

You fucks are too easy to btfo. I'll grant fruit, but everything else you named fits the category of bland without any additions. Go grill your venison backstrap without salt you fucking caveman and tell me what it tastes like. >B-b-but it tastes slightly metallic, so it isn't bland.

>>9334348
>Everything you named has a shitload of stuff a
Not really. Dry aged beef is just beef. Nothing more. Even raw it's a fucking flavor bomb. Chili peppers are a single ingredient. Smoked salmon is also a single ingredient. If you're going full sperg and counting "smoke" as an ingredient then you have only two. Salami contains pork and a small amount of seasoning stuffed into a pork casing. None of those things contain "a shitload of stuff".

>>everything you named except fruit, tastes bland. Any meat without salt will not have much flavor at all, including game.

Get away from Wal-mart tier produce and get something that doesn't suck.

>>Go grill your venison backstrap without salt you fucking caveman and tell me what it tastes like.

while I agree it's much better with salt I have done exactly that and it's far from bland. Grilling creates the malliard reaction, and venison has a strong gamey taste as it is.

I'm wondering if your strange idea of what's bland or not comes from only having eaten shit-tier factory farmed ingredients, or if you've blown out your tastebuds by constant smoking, slamming energy drinks and doritos extreme.

>>9334348
You're a fucking moron. Shrimp fresh out of the water straight to the grill tastes amazing. Same goes for everything out of the water.

>>9333959
do americans actually eat this dry garbage? mashed potato is a puree

>>9334272

You keep saying that I specified stuff, yet that was also my first post in this thread. Also what this guy said >>9334348 pretty much entirely.

Seriously how you can compare finished, cooked and spiced foods to a plain potato is just fucking stupid. You're just looking to get refuted. Why do you think most game meats are made into sausage which is heavily spiced? For the fun of it?

>>9334388

I don't even see how you can compare dry aged beef to plain potatoes. For one the aged beef has been in the process of being prepped for weeks if not months. That's like comparing sausage to plain chicken.

Smoked salmon is also not made with just smoke most of the time. In fact I've never seen it prepared that way. At minimum it usually also has salt, if not a basting liquid as well and a brine.

I don't see why you keep insisting that these food items with many different ingredients or a long prep time are comparable to a plain potato.

>>9334391

I do agree with this, having fresh fish is pretty good. I've had salmon fresh from the ocean before, was tasty.

>>9334388

If smoked salmon counts as one single food item then I don't see why mashed potatoes wouldn't count the same way.

>>9334406
>Seriously how you can compare finished, cooked and spiced foods to a plain potato is just fucking stupid.

Don't blame me. Blame >>9334200. They asked for "a food". They didn't specify a single ingredient, and they didn't say anything about whether or not the food was cooked.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't describe a raw potato as "food". When people eat potatoes they cook them, and they combine them with other ingredients.

>> Why do you think most game meats are made into sausage which is heavily spiced?
I make sausage often, game included. It's common to have to add some pork fat to the mix because most wild game is too lean to make sausage with as-is. I use pork fatback or belly depending on what meat I'm using. Yes, I do season the sausage but the amount of seasonings used is much much less than I would use if I was making a non-game sausage.

>>9334445
>I don't even see how you can compare dry aged beef to plain potatoes.
They're both single ingredients, that's why.

Anon first demanded "Foods" that weren't bland and I suggested a few. Then the goalposts got moved to "single ingredients" so I came up with another list. Now it seems the goalposts are moving yet again?

>>I don't see why you keep insisting that these food items with many different ingredients or a long prep time are comparable to a plain potato.

For the third time now: I'm simply responding to what I saw written above. >>9334200 simply said "a food"; there were none of these restrictions that are now getting added. Blame >>9334200 for a poorly worded question.

But now we're just getting into a semantic shitfest. We've already all agreed that fresh fish and fruits are single ingredients that are not bland filler. Therefore >>9334200 has been proven incorrect. That was the extent of my point.

>>9334455
Smoked salmon has one ingredient: salmon.

Mashed potatoes has several ingredients: salt, butter, potatoes, cream or milk.

I suppose things might be different if you made boiled potatoes and then mashed them in potato water without adding anything else.

>>9334463

Well shit I'm assuming you're using less spices because you just added pork belly to it

And also yes you would describe it as food, you can cook them. In fact baked potatoes as a well known food item that you technically don't have to combine with anything. And you just admitted "they didn't say anything about whether or not the food was cooked"

But really this conversation is getting dumb. Yes, raw potatoes are pretty bland. So are many raw and uncooked foods. I think we can all agree on that point and move on.

I like my mashed potatoes with roasted garlic.

>>9334477

WHERE is there a recipe that just has you smoke a salmon with nothing but smoke? I think you're talking out of your ass.

>>9334472

See this is stupid because then you SHOULD be comparing dry aged beef to finished potato dishes right? The much more apt comparison would be to take raw beef fresh from a cow, which I assure you would taste much more bland/bloody.

>>9333959
mashed cauliflower and mashed avacado are far bigger memes

>>9334040
Flavor is a small part, what has the mouthfeel and texture of mashed potatoes?

>>9333959
They're a platform for the rest of the meal. Who eats mashed potato as a standalone meal?

Also fuck adding cream and all that shit. Butter, potato, salt, pepper is all you need. Bonus if you combine with some sweet potato.

>>9334497
Nowhere. Smoked salmon either cold smoked or hot smoked is at a minimum always salted and often spiced with herbs. He's full of shit.

>>9334507
>mashed avacado
Guacamole?

>>9334388
>have cooked a venison backstrap w/o salt
Horseshit. No one wastes a venison backstrap by cooking w/o seasoning unless they were lost in the woods w/o even salt and killed a deer. Since anyone lost in the woods w/o salt is too retarded to kill a deer, we can be sure that hasn't happened in the last 100 years.

>dry aged beef without salt added is great

Again, if you're retarded enough to pay the money for dry aged beef and eat it w/o seasoning, you probably would argue rubber tires have more flavor than mashed potatoes.

>>9333979
No potato is good in any form without seasoning.

>>9334029
Homegrown potatoes, are full of flavour too. And dont overmash the potatoes, people tend to mash it into a paste and that is too far. To keep it fluffy and full of flavour and texture then mash as little as possible om nom nom nom fluffy potaters

File: 1411106007068.gif (1MB, 300x200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 300x200px

>>9333959
>They're fucking flavorless.
Have you not heard of butter or garlic?

File: Kumpir-mit-Sauerkrautfuellung-und-Pumpernickel-Crumble_featured.jpg (947KB, 1080x1080px) Image search: [Google]

947KB, 1080x1080px

Kumpir is the grown mans mashed potatoe

>>9333999
this board is to cooking what /tv/ is to tv and film

>>9333959
You should eat some well made mashed potatoes.

It's eye opening when you actually have good mash. It's capable of being absolutely brilliant.

>>9334399
It's called mashed potatoes, not pureed potatoes. Leave some potato chunks.

Sheeeit opie, now i'm craving some mashed tators.

Gonna make some tonight

>>9333959
I tend to add a knob of butter, a splash of milk, salt and pepper and some British all-spice.
Gives them a nice old-fashioned taste.

>>9337220
except the word for it is literally "puree" in most european languages

If I want pointless carbs, I'll eat mac and cheese. Mashed potatoes are just pointless to me.

>>9333959
Mashed potatoes are great.

>garlic
>salt
>pepper
>butter
>parsley

>>9333979
It's pretty hard to just eat straight up raw garlic and pepper

>>9333974
Love me a nice twice baked

>not eating mustard mash
>not making a little hole in the mash to pool the gravy

disdain

>>9333959
You obviously have no idea what a meme is.

Also, try making mashed potatoes that don't suck next time.

>>9333979
this has got to be bait. no one's this retarded

>>9333959
Rosemary and goat cheese.

You're welcome

>>9334029
Fuck that. Shitloads of cream and butter. Have you ever gotten the mashed potatoes at a real steakhouse and wondered why they were so fucking good? Shitloads of cream and butter. Literally just 5 ingredients - potatoes, butter, cream, salt, pepper. It's all you need for badass, white tablecloth restaurant-style mashed potatoes.

>>9334200
I mostly agree with you, but are you suggesting that, say, a perfectly ripe mango needs anything added to be delicious?

>>9333979
found the whitey who can only eat bland garbage

>>9334009
>t. I'm too retarded to make something as simple as potato to taste good

>>9334200
onion

>>9333979
baka wypipo

substitute that shit with aligot

>>9337220
>mashed potato
>chunks
Just no.
Mash can be thin and creamy, thick and stodgy, or anywhere between.
But it is not supposed to have lumps or chunks of any description in it.
Even consistency all the way through.

>>9344566
Found the nigger who should be lynched

File: image.jpg (673KB, 2349x1590px) Image search: [Google]

673KB, 2349x1590px

1/3

File: image.jpg (990KB, 1710x2291px) Image search: [Google]

990KB, 1710x2291px

>>9345915
2/3

File: image.jpg (960KB, 1787x2470px) Image search: [Google]

960KB, 1787x2470px

>>9345918
3/3

>>9345915
>>9345918
>>9345921

Oh no. I posted in the potato thread, didn't I?

>>9344566

But he's complaining about mashed potatoes being bland garbage

>>9333959
Using shitty Idaho potatoes...use a different variety.

>>9333959
>They're fucking flavorless.
Shit cook detected.

I'll bet you shop at wal-mart and have a fridge full of imitation butter flavored spread product next to your dino tendies.

File: dcda67d9fdc36f2c7cbbaddcccb51811--character-concept-concept-art.jpg (12KB, 236x298px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 236x298px

>>9333978
She'd rather be slobbering on Jamal's dick

>>9333959
Only flavourless if your a fukboi that can't cook