Worst Family Dinner

>>9333724
My mom freaked out about mad cow and made us eat chicken and rice forever. I love beef. Now I hardly ever eat chicken lol.

Once I ate lasagna with raisins in it

>>9333724
My mother in law's dog bit my daughter during Thanksgiving. I told her she should have it put to sleep, or if she wanted I'd take it outside and shoot it.

She's a late in life leaving who's entire life is dogs. She flipped her shit saying I'm the devil, and my wife should leave me. Luckily my wife had my back. That's the last time I hosted Thanksgiving at my house, and she couldn't bring her dog near my daughter without a muzzle.

>>9334659
*Late in life lesbian

>>9333724
My mom's cousin invited us over for thanksgiving dinner

The ham was salty pressed ham from some kind of container, it was cold and had no taste other than salt. There was a shitty salad consisting of only lettuce stems, some other awful side dishes that I don't even remember like shitty pilaf with no flavor. There was no turkey, it was unforgivable.

A couple years down the line though and she makes pretty good pot roast and steaks, however she made some spaghetti that smelled and tasted like a rancid dishrag so I'm still pretty wary of eating whatever she cooks.

>>9334659
you sound like a faggot. I have kids too. you know what? your daughter most likely hit the dog to make it bite her. Im in mo way a dog sympathizer either. Its a bad idea making an enemy out of your mother in law (your daughter's grandmother and your wife's mom). bad idea man. think about your actions

>>9333724
Every Thanksgiving growing up.

I used to get dragged along to a house to wait 5 hours sitting still to eat the worlds worst food.

I love my family, but not a single member can cook.

>>9334659
*my wife's daughter
Ftfy

>>9334678
You're a fucking retard. Shove your assumptions up your ass nigger lover. It was an old blind dog who snap at anyone.

I don't give two shots if she bumped into it or not. If a dog bites it's gone. The funny thing is the dog was so old and in pain she'd been considering euthanizing it. But because I suggested it after the bite she wouldn't hear it.

I'd kick your dog in the fucking head just because it's owner is such a faggot.

>>9334686
She's her daughter too, yeah.

>>9333724
Nothing.. & this was Christmas mind you.

Don't do crack.

>>9334696
fuck you faggot. take some responsibility for your family. your daughter obviously provoked the dog and thats why she got bit. If you cant handle it, maybe you should not have hosted thanksgiving at your house you tryhard yuppie. i know. why dont you cry about it on the internet some more, loser?

>>9334718
You sound upset. Also:
>A 2 year old provoked it

Back to >>>an/ with the other faggot losers.

>>9334659
You sound like an nice son.

>>9334659
You sound insufferable. Your the type of dad who's "little princess" can do no wrong right? Unless it affects you.

>>9334726
upset? no. teach your kids instead of blaming everyone else. and cool it on saying "nigger", theres no bigger sign of a tryhard loser that needs to go back to his trap threads on /b/

>>9334730
I know. I totally could have saved her a vet bill for putting it down. The thing died 3 months later.

>>9334726
A child is a reflection of their parents. Sounds like you need to train your shitty little kid better.

You definitely sound like the type of faggot who thinks his little angel is completely innocent.

>>9334747
>2 year old
>Dog apologist
You are a dumb.

Tip with rip

>>9334752
>2 year old
You are also dumb

>>9334766
>my kid can't do wrong

All I'm hearing bud.

Yo dog dude just stop replying you're getting baited hard this is painful to watch

>>9334779
I decided the same. They'll get no more (you)s from me.

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>>9334761

>>9334738
This sounds like my dad. My sister end of screwing up my dad and now has two kids by some low life thug off the streets.

>>9334785
back to plebbit faggot

>>9334659
You sound like a fucking moron. Your daughter was likely irritating the dog (something you should have been careful about) and anyway, shit happens. Stop being a hysterical helicopter parent.

>>9334726
And do you think 2 year olds are somehow incapable of annoying dogs? And are incapable of being taught how to behave correctly? Your shitty parenting is just confirmed.

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>>9334645
Who the fuck would do that!

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>come to this thread for cool stories
>one good story and 30 replies baiting that guy

>>9335089
Pick of my three stories & rate

>Love
>Work
>penis inspection day

>>9334726
man, it sure smells like big dumb idiot in here

>>9333724
Thanksgiving when I was like 12 or 13. Stayed up all night playing Kingdom Under Fire: Heroes and apparently lost my voice because I went to sleep at 7 am and woke up in time for dinner without being able to speak. Shit was gay. Don't know what, how, or why I got sick. Wasn't a sore throat, but some kind of infection. Girlfriend had it last year, too.

>>9335164
I love holiday family feels. Even the sad ones.

>>9334914
I'm not that guy but old blind dogs are incredibly stupid and will snap at their own tail and try to bite it if it gets in their face.

Dogs in general aren't too bright really.

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>>9335174
It wasn't permanent. Just for the day.
No sad feels to be found and I'm sorry if I upset you.

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>>9333724
>mom's birthday
>mom is bipolar
>will not admit it
>will freak out of nowhere and it's almost like she throws these fits of rage and tantrums to garner attention
>go to a sushi place with her, my stepdad, and brother
>brother is like 15 at the time
>i'm 17
>brother gets bored
>throws some banter at me
>throw some back
>we laugh
>keep it low enough where people around us can't hear
>her new boyfriend thinks it's funny to make dick and poop jokes at the dinner table
>it's not funny
>we pretend to laugh because we like the guy to a degree but his humor is childish and has no depth
>we slowly stop laughing at it
>continue making banter with each other instead
>mom is acting weird "why can't you be nice to each other on my birthday"
>explain to her this is how boys shoot the shit and it's good way to bond
>didn't even realize it but this one girl who was sitting next to us was this girl from my 8th grade class whose ass I slapped really hard
>her family is there right next to us
>mom is now making poop and dick jokes
>me and brother have stopped after the first ten minutes and they've been going on for 20 minutes
>it's not fucking funny and we now have people a foot away from us
>ask her if she can please stop that I know the people next to us
>she gets so fucking offended she blows up at the table
>she blows up at boyfriend,me, and brother
>girl is looking at us
>she finally recognizes me(I lost something like 100lbs she was fit as fuck though)
>I'm fucking embarrassed literally just get up and leave
>mom yells "where the fuck do you think you're going"
>don't even reply
>stay outside
>brother comes join me
>mom and her boyfriend pays the bill
>she's going on about how we ruined her birthday
>rinse and repeat every birthday she has
>mom thinks because it's her birthday she can act like a diva bitch and if we say anything we're the bad guys
>no longer eat out with parents
>let them bring back food if they want
God they can never be civilized.

>>9335185
Nice typo, you must've meant you were 17, because you wouldn't want to get b&.

I feel ya' though, my sister is the same way. Going places with her is such a chore, trying to figure out what to say and do to prevent a total breakdown in the middle of public. Best of luck to you in getting some freedom soon.

>>9335196
>at the time
You're fucking retarded.

>>9335209
Who hurt you? No need to be so rude, Mr. Sourpuss.

Any dinner that my mother's exboyfriend was home for, whether it was a family gathering or just me, my sisters, our mom and him. One night he was using a fork that was bent and he said to my little sisters, and in front of our mom who said nothing about it, 'This must be anon's mashed potato fork'. I've never even been fat.

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>>9335196
Yeah my bad on the typo I'm turning 21 october 6th I've got another story I have a lot of people offer me to go drinking on my birthday recently and one of them was my mom saying her boyfriend should take me to "21 holes"
>mom says that "oh god do not say anything please for the love of god"
>boyfriend chimes in "21 HOLES HAHAH 21 HOLES HONEY"
>starts making 21 hole jokes about my mom with my mom as my mom makes them
>literally makes sex jokes for a good 15 minutes
>didn't even think this was possible for a 40 something year old man and 50 year old woman
>quickly change the subject and tell mom it's not 21 holes and to never say that term again
>tell her it's a pub crawl and it was in that same movie with the guy from Sean of the Dead to change the fucking subject
>have a quick discussion with her boyfriend about Hot Fuzz and Sean of The Dead
>relieved I was able to change the subject
>mom doesn't know these movies
>goes back to making gross 21 hole jokes
>go back to being internally grossed out and pissed off
>don't eat dinner with them again
that was like a week ago they're fucking niggers

>>9335239
Why the fuck was your mums ex coming to dinner

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Every dinner i ever had until i was 18

>>9335239
boyfriends are retarded and so is their humor it's why they're so late in the game they have to go for literal moms god I fucking hate them

>>9335248
He's probably speaking in like past tense like it's now her exboyfriend you dig hombre

>>9335248
I should've said 'now exboyfriend'. They were still dating at the time

>>9335260
>>9335261
Lel, would've been real fuckin awkward having an ex around for dinner, that makes more sense

The dinners that we never even had because my parents were fighting.

>>9334659
Kill yourself edgelord retard

>>9335242
What the fuck is "21 Holes" even referring to

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>>9334659

>>9335281
>go to 21 different bars
>take a shot from each
That's how she explained it and I told her that's not the right term god I hate sitting down with my family

>>9334659
Lmao old dykes are fucking useless. Your kid is more important than a dumb mutt.

>>9335304
Ah, righto, I've never even heard of 21 holes before now.

I hate sitting down with my family too, all they do is blab on about fucking politics, my big brother is the worst since part of his uni course is about chinese politics and shit, except for my uncle, he's cool, we talk about audio and tech shit

>>9335321
That is his mom.

I can have another child, she gave me life.

HATE YOU SO MUCH

>>9333724
K OP I have one.
Every year my mothers side of the family has a couple dinners (they're waspy) and these dinners usually take place at my grandmothers.
Enter my great uncle, Ken.
Every year since I was a teen, Ken has goaded me into some sort of argument that quickly became impossible for me to win.
I don't know why he doesn't like me- I was just a child when this started. Maybe I was a shitty child, I don't know.

Anyways- on one occasion he noticed I had a LiveStrong bracelet on (remember those?)
>what's that?
I explain the creator and foundation
>interesting anon, interesting...
>and how do you feel about his doping? He's a cheater and liar, isn't he?
>so then you must support corrupt governments?
>clearly you have some low moral standards

One Christmas I bought him a gift card for our local alcohol store.
I write in the card that I wasn't sure what he may like- and I hoped he could make use of this.
>mmh.. Interesting anon... You must have an extremely low sense of self worth.
>what a small person you must be

Last year, he was on deaths doorstep. At Christmas dinner, there he sat. A feeble, fumbling mess. He could hardly remember what a spoon was for. He sat across the table from me- milky eyed, looking right through me
>thankfuck.jpeg

Everything is going well, Ken mumbles and dinner is great. Until my wife says "yes my husband does all our shovelling!"
>Ken's eyes light up
>suddenly he is with us
>"you mean you're big stupid husband?"

Anyways.
He died this year. My only regret in life is that I wasn't there to see it for myself.

Also, fuck that dog guy- dog's bite man, get over it.

>>9335326
It's his stepmum/mother in law, not his actual mother

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>>9335324
>mom is trying to be very political
>in past has voted Bush and Obama and Clinton
>for whatever fucking reason has a hard on for necons and neolibs
>asks me out of the blue who I'm voting for
>it's my mom why would I lie to her
>tell her I'm voting Trump
>proceeds to tell every one of her libshit friends about me wanting to vote Trump
>tells me he's not going to win
>tells me he's a big orange idiot etc
>try and show mom everything wrong with Clinton
>literally covers her fucking ears going "lalalalalala" like a fucking child
>get to have 20-30 minute long conversations about why I'm voting Trump and not Clinton doesn't help I live in California
>Trump wins
>mom proceeds to act like a sore loser shit talking him every chance she gets around me
>tells me I'm going to have to prepare for war etc
>end of the world is coming thanks to "drumpf"
>told her Clinton wanted to enlist us and would have enlisted me and brother
>she has said before she'd take us to Canada if that'd happen never asked her to get us out of the situation
>proceeds to fucking tell me before Trump wins that if Clinton wanted that it's for good reason
>call her a dumb cunt etc tell her she has no compassion for her children
God the longer I live with them the more I realize they're sub human. My mom was born in Cuba and left when Castro took over I would of thought she'd have learned that these are the same communist sympathizers she attempts to shit talk. It makes me so fucking angry.

>>9335351
ignoring the politics this is pretty embarrassing behavior for anyone, jesus

>>9334955
Baby boomers, man

>>9335351
Jesus man, I feel for you, your mother sounds like a complete spaz, thankfully my family has pretty homogeneous views (apart from my little sister) and there aren't many arguments, I always ignore conversations about politics, they're always boring as fuck plus I'm just not interested in it at all unless it relates to gun laws and car laws, they're fucking shit here in Australia man

>>9334678
>>9334718
>>9334738
siding with the shitty old dog belonging to the shitty in-law over your own daughter, typical 4chan virgins

>>9334659
You're the man
Fuck these idiotic replies

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>>9335396
>>9335376
Wow if you thought that was bad wait to you hear this
>Dad's birthday
>don't have a good relationship with the man
>he has severe assburgers and his wife is a La Raza cunt LARPing as a Native American every now and then
>They decide to go to El Torito which is this really shit Mexican chain restaurant
>Don't even mind think that everything is cool and that we're just having dinner
>After really shit service from you guessed it the people who can barely speak a lick of English my dad's wife decides to bring up I'm an "avid" supporter of Trump
>Say "yeah I voted for him"
>Grandfather who works with Hollywood kikes goes "how could you vote for that man if I had it my way I'd have him assassinated"
>look at him and ask him how he could say such a shitty thing
>they're going on about how he just bombed Syria and that Obama would never do anything like that how he should of been able to have another term
>Look at them and go "you know that he not only deported more than 2 million illegals during his term but was the president to drop the most drone strikes and inflate our debt because of proxy wars right?"
>Conversation goes back to "orange idiot,drumpf,muh clinton should have won, he does not respect women etc."
>Told them the man is great and he also busted over 1200 pedophile rings
>They tell me it's not true
>Brother who is pretty quite about politics (he's 17 now) says
>"I believe in Pizza Gate and what Trump is doing to stop (((them))) is cool"
>they're looking at us like we're ebin Nazis
>Finish dinner
>Will now get to hear this from the entirety of my father's side because they're all libshit cunts probably save for a few
>Other day dad told me I should go join the military and fuck off to support Trump's administration if I love the guy so much
>Tell the cunt there is absolutely nothing wrong with serving one's country and that he should be acting respectful towards the men and women who fight to allow him to have his shit opinions

>>9335475
Jesus man, I'd disown my family if I were you, they sound like the biggest bunch of fucking tards ever

>>9335475
You should question your brother's intelligence

Eh, I have plenty of stories. My mom is a psychopath, so countless Thanksgivings and Christmases (basically the only time we ever eat dinner together) have been ruined by her flipping her shit over minor stuff.

Last year I told her I changed jobs and she started beating my car with her fists. She broke a glass table on me one year (I knocked over a chair while we were screaming at each other).

All that aside, I was too young to remember it, but I was sitting at a dinner where my grandfather got drunk and admitted to raping my two female cousins that were under ten years old. That was probably the worst for everyone.

>>9335493
He's a smart kid was able to learn guitar in something like 2 years and formed his own band that played with some pretty well known garage rock bands from our SoCal scene he gets good grades and is the hippie garage punk version of a Chad Thundercock I love that kid so much. He's the only one in the family I think is intelligent to a degree where you can have a philosophical conversation and then just jump straight into banter. Everyone else in the family is kinda dumb though.

>>9335500
You should've beaten her car with your fists back

>>9335485
The thought constantly comes though my head or it's the thought of suicide when I'm dealing with them but at the end of the day I'd keep in contact with my mom, brother, and stepdad. They're all good people and my mom and stepdad are entitled to their own opinions unlike my dad though my mom actually tries to be a mom and I really love that about her.

>>9335500
Jesus fucking christ dude I'm so sorry how has your family not beaten the fuck out of that man and how have you not snapped to Hulk levels of anger with that woman? You're a saint.

>>9335519
Shiet, your brother sounds ok if not a bit weird but your mother and stepdad sound a bit mentally challenged.

Is your dad really that bad, like has he never even tried to be a dad at all or something?

Psychotic cousin had a meltdown throwing plates and shit

Not that bad to be honest since he's usually like that

>>9335524

Well, I know my dad has some history of abuse with her (although that's a muddy line, it depends on if you're in the 'never hit a woman' crowd or not, as she'll hit him and slap him and scream in his face, but if he tries to pin her so she doesn't hit him, she screams abuse). But because of that I've really learned to stop and find a center in myself when she goes off like that. She's done so much more than these outbursts at dinner.

As for my grandfather, I was separated permanently from him that day. I barely ever really knew him. He had a stroke that paralyzed him over half of his body, and took away the use of his cock, so at least there's some justice out there. He's dead now. I saw him once in the hospital and told him to go fuck himself before he died.

>>9335535
The guy tried suiciding twice while we were at school,tried killing my mom, tried killing my mom and himself, and tried to kill me, my brother, and my mom. He'd also physically abuse me and would try to pit me and my brother against each other. My brother terrorizes him now as much as possible because of this because my dad separated us from being able to live with each other. A while back my brother's apendix was about to burst while he was playing a show (the tough motherfucker finished it too) and when they got him to the hospital and put him on fentanyl to ease the pain he got pretty fucking out of it and the second my dad walked in he started screaming at him that he was a pig and to fuck off out of the hospital and to kill himself etc. There's a lot of bad blood between me and my dad though he kicked me out of the house after convincing me that I'd be able to live with them and not even half of a month living in there he tells me to get out. I was 18 and had to miss a year of school to be able to support myself full time luckily my girlfriend was around during the time and we pretty much acted as our own family. The fucking nigger got rid of our family doberman after I told him I'd be able to pick him up so he wouldn't have to do that (this was when I was kicked out). Last time I saw him he had the nerve to ask me if I visited my dog who he put in a doberman rescue and specifically told the owner to not let me get into contact with them or the dog. When I told him I obviously couldn't he told me "you must have not loved him as much as you tell us". I'm surprised I haven't gone postal yet to be quite honest senpai.

>Be me
>Be 14
>Dad is chief for a living
>Have barbecue for a summers evening
>Burns all the meat every single peace
>Forces us to eat it or he would probably beat up me and my mum
>Eat it with half a tub of salad cream and say it's good
>Be sick in the middle of the night

Ahh good childhood memories.

>>9335595
Wow auto correct is amazing.

>>9335578
Jesus man, that's terrible, beat the shit out of him for me the next time you see him

>>9335605
the thought of cheif burnsmeat forcing you to smoke the peacepipe until you got sick is hilarious

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>>9333724
pic related, i wish

>me, 20, dating a black girl
>"come to dinner and meet my family anon"
>no dad (big surprise there)
>mom fucking smoking at the dinner table
>dinner was homemade Mac and velveeta with some baked chicken quarters drowned in hot sauce
>not a vegetable as far as the eye can see
>oldest brother playing the roll of dad, talking tough and not wearing a damn shirt
>mother asks what my parents do for a living
>I say, truthfully, my mom is a college professor and my dad is a cop
>whoa the fuck! You a pig?
>we all got a narc up in here
>girl is like, naw it's cool his dads not a prick
>they start shouting at each other
>throwing shit
>mom telling her own son fuck you
>son calling his own mom a fuckin bitch
>I call uber
>excuse myself to go to the bathroom
>slip out the back door and hop in the uber
>never called her again

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>>9335692
Fucking hell that killed me

>>9334659
Fuck you and your whore daughter

>>9335977
>Hatin' on some good ol' fashion home cookin' 'cause it ain't got avocado or kale or some other prissy-ass vegetable with it
>Not puttin' the brother in his place, thus allowin' the family to rest easy knowin' the daughter is going to be with a man who can protect her
>Not keepin' that cop shit quiet

You got a lotta learn son.

>>9334659
People only get attached to dogs because dogs sadly lack the awareness to realize their owner is a turbosperg virgin lord.

I like dogs too but let's at least be honest to ourselves. All these fags saying the dog dindu nuffin wouldn't say the same if it happened to them.

Not related to the food but probably when my father broke out the news that he was being prosecuted and going to be put under house arrest. He said he had failed us and broke down and started crying. It was hard to watch.

One time we all went out to a restaurant together but it was one of those chain places that doesn't have a theme it's just random shit you know. I think it was o charley's. anyway

>get to the restaurant
>weird uncle is sitting there on the bench outside with his shirt unbuttoned
>he doesn't have an undershirt on so everyone can see his hairy flabby chest
>aunt says 'hey can you button your shirt we're in public'
>he totally chimps out and starts swearing at everybody
>just sulks the entire time we're eating

>>9334659
Hope your daughter finds your gun and offs herself

>>9334696
Maybe you should take your daughter outside and put her to sleep (or put yourself to sleep for being a shit dad) for failing to meet human standards and being dominated by a creature literally lower than you in the food chain.

>>9336011
>You got a lotta learn son.
Only thing I learned is I prefer to enjoy the white privileged peaceful dinners of my own culture

Any dinner with my brother

I swear he's autistic, he really is
He always put's his feet up on the table and just says whatever comes to his mind

He's tried to kill himself twice now, little shit

>>9336381

I thought he was the coolest fella' alive until the last line. Hope he gets himself sorted.

>>9336389
Sometimes people do it for attention, not cause they are actually fucked in the head, I reckon the kid is probably just an attention whore

>>9336389
>>9336396
Maybe, I think he will eventually do it

Last time he hung himself and the rope snapped and someone found hiss passed out

>>9336402
Lol, what a retard, sounds like he needs a good ass kicking or to be put in a looney bin

>>9336409
Yep, I actually punched him when I found out

>>9335475
You and your family sound like enormous tools

>>9333724
My mom once made a casserole of rubbery, overcooked chicken breast, covered in a can of campbells cream of celery soup and topped with sliced hardboiled eggs. She then baked it again so that the eggs dried out and took on one of the most horrific textures and flavors I have ever experienced.

>>9336410
AHAHHAHA nice, next time he fucks around at dinner beat the shit out of him

>>9334659
your daughter is my cum vacuum cuckold

>>9336112
Just slipping out like that comes over as spineless. Or at least as choosing the easy way out.

>>9336427
Like anyone anywhere ever believes you could attract a cow.

>>9336055
It's offensive if you don't wear a shirt in the US? Too restrictive for my liking.

>>9333724
Most of my family is elderly now. They can't cook elaborate Thanksgiving dinners anymore.

So we go out to eat. We have reservations to this restaurant Riley's. We arrive promptly and are promptly told:

>"We're out of turkey."

But they managed to get 'turkey' trucked in as we were being seated. What they did manage to find was fucking school cafeteria turkey loaf. Then the little buffet they had ran out of ham.

We paid 40 dollars a person for that shit.

>>9336622
so why did you pay that much?

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>>9333724
My mom always used Oatmeal instead of breadcrumbs for meatloaf. One time, we were out of oatmeal and she decided to use Chrismas Cap'n Crunch .

>>9336460
Fuck off, Bobandy.

>>9334726
2 year olds are annoying, if I was a doggo I would bite as well

>>9337229
go away evil dogger

>>9334659

why are all these faggots defending the dog?

>>9335897
i need to see the rest of this thread

>family dinner

Found the normie.

>>9337209
what the fuck is wrong with boomers

>>9334696
>t. drunk mother in law

>Went to parents house for dinner
>Told we were having meatloaf
>Never my favorite but sure whatever
>It was actually tofu loaf
>One bite and spit it out
>Eat some mashed potatoes
>Stop at McDonalds on the way home

The rest of my family was in agreement that it was awful. Except my brother in law. He's just too nice to say how he really felt.

>>9334696
You did the right thing anon, despite what others may say

>>9336939
Maybe it was prepaid for some strange reason, I dunno

>>9336430
lol spineless or not, it doesn't matter. should i have come out and judged them and said you people are yelling and throwing shit and calling each other names in front of a guest and i want nothing to do with your culture in general and your family, specifically?

I think I did the least amount of damage. Who cares if its spineless or not.

>>9334659
Why would you bring a dog to someone else's home for Thanksgiving?

>>9337441
A feeling of self importance, delusion that everyone likes and wants the dog there, sheer retardation etc

>>9334659
Your daughter is guaranteed to grow into a slut now. Idiot cuck

>>9334659
Your daughter is going to be blacked you cuck and you'll happily raise her mixed abominations for her

>>9335185

Ho lee sheeeit

That sound exactly like my mum, word for fucking word on the stuff about banter.

>>9337304
>dinner
found the richfag, i just cry myself to sleep

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>>9335977

dubs is get

>>9333724
Christmas dinner a few years back.
>Me, mum, dad, two older brothers, gran, grandpa, uncle, aunt
>Additionally we have my neighbour who is an old lonely women, another old women up the street who's husband just died and has no family, my great uncle who has no one and my mum's friends brother who is a weird fuck and all his family live abroad.
>Normally we have great uncle and neighbour but not other two.
>Great Uncle arrives in morning with two bottles of Hennessy, parks his ass in corner and proceeds to drink. Older brother tells me to check on him, he'd drank a bottle and a half in about three hours. Completely passed out. He remained in that chair for the rest of the day missing meal.
>Weird brother of mum's friend wears stetson inside the entire time, makes no eye contact and each time I see him he has a different drink. As in he had a beer, then a brandy, then a glass of fizz, then white wine etc etc. He must have gone through 15 or so different drinks and it was definite autism and we nicknamed him uncle touchy. He got really drunk and cried while my and my brother's tried to watch argo later and fell asleep on a couch. In the morning he was gone along with several of our passports. Honestly I don't know and thinking about him stresses me.
>The two old birds with no one were pleasant and sweet, no complaints there.
>My mum has always been the cook in our family, her brother and sister do sweet fuck all and we also look after their parents.
>Aunt always has to make everything about her and anything she does has to be rewarded and honoured or she throws a strop.
>We've been doing Christmas the same way for 25 years. This year though she turns up with some Thai? soup and demands we all have it before the biggest, best, most glutinous meal of the year? Nobody wants any and she goes in a huff.
>Go to put something in bin later and she's dumped like two litres of soup straight into the kitchen bin, cheers bitch.
cont

>>9337749
cont
>Meal fantastic expect aunt killing the mood and grandpa spilling his red wine into the roast tatties but he's old and we love him so get on with it.
>Aunt keeps complaining the meat is dry and then leaves before everyone is finished or desert claiming she's tired, good riddance.
>Uncle and Uncle Touchy being weird autists together
>Due to number of people coming mum had bought and prepared two huge turkeys.
>Most of one eaten and other, intact turkey can be used for sandwiches, turkey curry etc over the next days.
>Uncle Touchy has been away for a worrying period of time, is he putting his body fluids over our possessions?
>Mum comes back through from kitchen looking completely shocked.
>Uncle Touchy, perhaps thinking he was being helpful, went through to kitchen and poorly carved up the entire other turkey. Everyone was finished, desert was out, it was clear nobody was having any turkey. Now it will be dry as fuck.
>Thankfully never seen this cunt again and hopefully never will, although we are certain he stole our passports for some fucked reason.
>Get the old folk home including have to share a taxi back to my great uncle's to get him inside and taxi back to mine. Cost a fucking bomb.
>Burst so settle down to watch film with brothers I don't see often, ruined by Uncle Touchy and his sudden crying.

Not entire meal related but these events are all tied to people being here for a meal. Dinner itself was damn tasty.

>>9335089
In the week after my mother died from a fungal infection of the lungs, my father started coming out of the fugue after a few days and tried his hand at cooking.
He tried but was still pretty out of it. He bought some cheap fatty pieces of chicken wrapped around wooden sticks for the grill, pulled the meat off and cooked it out. Then he dumped the chicken strips on a giant bowl of rice. Dumped all the fat over it, too. That was it. No seasoning.

It was so terrible, that I threw most of it in the toilet.

>>9334686
Fuck off underage.

>>9333724

>come home for Thanksgiving
>It's been a few years since I've been home, too busy working making that money
>bring current gf home with me
>mom knows it isn't serious, gives me evil eye but otherwise pretends to ignore my degenerate lifestyle
>dad doesn't care
>other relatives staying at home with us
>cousin is there
>he was always a creep, always put out that desperate vibe like he would fuck anything with 2 legs
>go out with cousin and some home town friends for a few drinks, Thanksgiving is tomorrow
>tries to impress us by telling us he deals drugs or something
>me and gf already a bit buzzed so we just nod and go along with his bullshit
>later on we're back at his place and he takes out what he says is coke
>not really interested in snorting potential pipe cleaner so we take a pass
>cousin does a few rails alone
>gf starts making out with me
>this goes on for a while
>suddenly naked cousin slides in between us
>I'm still making out with her or at least I thought I was
>wondering why I hear her freaking out and kissing me at the same time
>turns out it's my cousin
>push him off
>looks at me all sad, walks out of room
>leave with gf
>Next evening the dinner was rather awkward
>apparently he told his mom about what happened

>>9337899
>btw I'm a grill

>>9337597
You need to stop watching interracial porn little tike.

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>>9337951
>no girls allowed in my safespace

>>9335328
>dog's bite man

Dogs with shitty ass owners bite, owners that should not own a dog, or be allowing their dogs around children

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>thanksgiving last year
>faggot cousin actually brought his xbox headset to the table and was talking to his friends
>always drunk uncle trying to debate reinstating slavery as an april fools joke
>aunt shit the bed hard and made cornbread with bits of strawberries in it
>cholo cousins lifting free weights in the backyard
>turkey comes out still raw because dipshit younger cousin turned off the timer as a prank
>literally got beaten with a belt until uncles intervened
>family had to eat sides while aunt heated up chicken tendies
>same younger cousin having a screaming fit from family siphoning nuggies
>uncles wiener dog keeled over during cowboys game

>>9333724
Not a dinner but at a christmas get together a cousion was acting like a jerk, calling me a twig, fag, etc. He probably hated that I dropped 80 pounds and grew in high school meanwhile he was still an overweight faggot. So I bantered back and he snaps and asks why I'm bullying him when I was just returning banter. He goes to his mom, it turns into a shitfest. Not the most exciting story but thankfully my family sided with me since it was in the tv room and there were like 12 witnesses.

Probably that one thanksgiving where my Uncle Od'd on heroin in the bathroom.
If he had survived it, he probably would not have been invited back.

>>9337899
>Making out in the same room as your weird cousin
Degenerate is right.

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2013 christmas my sister popped a bunch of oxy and instead of seeing if she was ok or taking her to the doctor mom just went ahead and drove us to our grandma's house as if nothing happened. Sister stayed in a chair barely able to talk or move for close to a day, whenever a family member asked if she was ok my mother would say she was coming down with the flu.

The next year sister upgrades to heroin, decides to spend christmas eve with her boyfriend and his wife. Mom stays in bed and whenever I try to talk to her she cries and says she doesn't understand why my sister can't make the effort to "look normal".

>>9339117
Not my fault I prefer pussy over cock and that my parents turn a blind eye to it because I make good money.

>>9334659
tell her youre a dogcuck and changed your opinion
kill it silently
cook it
say its chicken
surprise her

>>9333724
i can't really remember any of my family dinners when i was younger. now that i'm older and visit maybe twice a year, i hate all of them and consider them all terrible equally, because i travel a long way to get there and then my mother and sister spend the dinner, along with all the time more generally, on their cell phones,and i sit and stare at a wall, much like i do in the rest of my life

>>9339141
wow

how parents have so little self awareness sometimes amazes me

>>9334659
Why weren't you watching your kid then? That suits on you more than an ignorant animal.

>>9333724
My sister was having a nervous breakdown/panic attack while my dad was laughing at her.

>>9334696
Your kid is going to grow up to be an enormous failure.

>>9334696
No one who posts garbage like this on the internet should be allowed to breed.

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Honestly cant recall eating with my family like a traditional family past maybe eleven?

These days my mother is so in denial about her unhappiness and ned to be a free spirit that sitting down to eat with her is a parade of endless fake cheeriness, fake jokes, fake everything. Really just annoying and I see it as rude so thats why it only happens at families. Also she says the same like ten things every single time. Like she cant only talk about herself? Oh well lol.

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>>9338058
That image is fucking stupid and misses the point, who gives a shit if you're a "good femanon" it's literally whining you don't get social status you feel entitled to by being a good poster, fuck off

it was breakfast but whatever, can't remember anything except
>be ~10
>dad get angry during breakfast for some reason
>throw plate table into the sink so hard that some of the ceramic on the wall shatters
>I walk to school crying

>>9339427
>throw plate from table*

>>9339381
>btw I'm a grill
is cancer
Barely mentioning that you're a lesbian is not
Manchildren get triggered when there's a gurl on the internet.

>>9338111
And shitty parents should watch their fucking kids around possible threats.

>>9339526
Yeah he got triggered and so did you, notice how I responded to your shitty fucking image of an argument against his which is literally whinging about not receiving social capital on an anonymous autistic anime website filled by nazis

my second worst dinner with family was when I had to eat my dads penis

>>9339551
>social capital for roasties only
Normalfags shitting up my board. Why don't you just use a name and tripcode, too? Then we can be sure we don't assign social capital to neckbeards.

I went out to a Thai restaurant with my mother, aunty and sister. I was sitting opposite my mother and she decided she wanted to take a nice photo of me so she pulled out her digital camera and started taking photos telling me to smile. Every time she took one she'd look at it and go nope and delete it and take another one.
This went on for about 10 minutes with a flash going of in my face about every 10 seconds and my mother telling me to smile.
I have depression so it's hard to force a smile and I hate being put on the spot.
Ended up saying I have to go to the toilet and got up and walked around the side of the restaurant and got in a taxi and went home.

>>9339593
youre a pussy ass bitch.. hows it like being a faggot?

>>9334659
All i want know is if your daughter is a properly raised young lady or a cunt? If the later, the your daughter should be put down desu.

>>9334659

>>9339623
And you're the man on a Chinese cooking board that everyone looks up to.

>>9339296

>allowed
>to breed

I'm guessing you consider yourself anti fascist?

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I just came home to this

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>>9339728
I'm not suggesting it but if you hit your wife I'd understand

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>>9339742
>wife
h-haha, yeah...

>tfw family all get along
>Great Christmas dinners at my grandma's
>Always heaps of fun
>Uncle and cousin both have MAGA hats
>Older brother is a loveable weeb, we ride motorbikes together
>Dad can build and fix anything, always teaching me shit and helping me out
>Mum is a nurse and taught me heaps of medical shit and how to take care of myself properly
Is this white privilege?

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>>9339141
>decides to spend christmas eve with her boyfriend and his wife

>>9339593
That's pretty pathetic anon.

>>9338256
Fuck I wish my family was that big

>>9339160
clearly not enough money to buy any class.

>>9339787

This is my experience as well. Proud of you and your family, anon.

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>have some gift cards to a nice local restaurant I never used
>invite my older sibling and her husband for dinner to use the cards
>parents coincidentally want to eat out on the same night, we agree to let them come with us
>leave their house for an hour, by the time I get back my alcoholic father is already wasted
>he shows up drunk at the restaurant and spends the entire night complaining about their food
>sister and her husband have no alcohol whatsoever, dad winds up ordering a few beers and gets so blasted my mother has to drive him home

It was fucking awful and to make it worse I found out my sister's husband would really like to beat the shit out of him if he ever gets the opportunity. I had already told myself to never eat out with our parents again so this whole thing would have never happened if I just stuck to my own word.

>>9339787
>competent parents that taught you usable/necessary life skills
not even white privilege can account for that
far too many people just get baby fever and think as long as you feed and clothe the fucker for eighteen years without abusing them, then they've done a good job.

>>9339825
You can't buy class, silly.

>>9339787
its more typical with white people, but thats just normal family privilege. remember any advantage should make you feel shame as opposed to appreciation

>>9339884
I know right, too many people just do the basics and end up with failures for children, if and when I have kids I'm going to teach them everything I know, it doesn't matter to me whether they turn out to be a genius at schoolwork like maths and shit or not but I want my kids to be able to look after themselves

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>>9339728
>4chan filename

My mom is a little crazy, but I can't remember any particular anything bad about it during dinner.

One time when I was microwaving some leftovers and I backtalked my mom. She got super crazy, got a knife and slashed my arm with a knife.

Immigrant Asian families are fucked up, man.

>>9334659
I don't even have kids but I would do the same if someone's rabid dog tried to hurt my little brother.

You did well, I would have done the same in your situation.

>>9334659
What kind of person brings a dog to a family dinner?
Is this a common practice?

>>9340326
You know this happened to me once, my aunt adopted some abused dog from the animal shelter and this thing was so fucked up mentally that we had to lock or family dog and cat when she brought it over for Thanksgiving. Now Chester and Lady were good pets and I found that locking them up during Thanksgiving was rather unfair. So I brought this up and tried to reason with my aunt and my folks (seeing as it was their house). They wouldn't listen so I threaten to kill her dog on the spot if she brought it again next year.

>>9336413
Sounds like she referenced one of those 50s cookbooks that also loves to feature aspics.

>christmas last year at aunt and uncles
>hot as fuck because ausfag
>be told christmas would be great this year
>doubt
>spend $400 on a return flight to get there
>half of the family doesn't show
>uncle refuses to turn on aircon because it's too expensive (he's rich btw)
>lunch ends up being some burnt chicken skewers and sausages, crappy pasta salad and stale potato chips/lollies
>not even bread on the table
>uncle kept seafood and pavlova for himself
>got a bottle of opened red wine re-gifted from my brother as my only present
>mother felt guilty and kept apologising even though my aunt was organising it
>she wanted to buy me a chocolate stocking to make up for it but they didn't have any in the country
>flight home was delayed 3 hours

I'm going up again this year but it will just be my mother and we're going all out with decorations, food etc so I'm excited

>>9339728
Please explain

Not a really bad story but it pisses me of to no end
Aunt comes to visit, she is like the greatest person I knew. My mum would beat the fuck out of me and she would be the only one to protect me. She called out bullshit and take none.
It thanksgiving and she is an hour away from a 7 hour drive. Mum and dad tells me and sister to eat all the diner with them fast. Even though it like 4pm I'm a little kid so... okay
Finish diner, aunt shows up. Aunt ready to have family bonding, mum says she super late even though there are still dishes on the table. Mum start bitching her out and aunt leaves.
Mum and dad started talking horrible shit about aunt and how she ruined the whole holiday.

>>9340603
Damn, that sounds shitty man, your uncle is a fucking jew, I'd kick him in the fucking dick if I were you, Aussie summers are fucking torture without any air con or fans, your brother sounds like a complete fuckhead too, hopefully this coming christmas is alright man

>>9339791
My sister was dating both of them (they got married for tax reasons, it was open). Honestly I would have rather spent christmas with them instead of mom, they're a nice couple.

>>9340643
You'd rather spend Christmas with heroin addicts? Wow.

>>9334659
Why do Americans unironically take their dogs everywhere they go? I also think that an excessive amount of love towards an animal is unnatural

>>9340843
Virtue signalling and showing off are two of the cornerstones off American culture. It's absolutely insane how many people you see daily doing stupid shit for the sole purpose of being seen doing it by random others.

>>9340843
>I also think that an excessive amount of love towards an animal is unnatural
That's what makes it "excessive" you stupid Eurofuck. Maybe you should explain why?

>Virtue signalling and showing off are two of the cornerstones off American culture
There's a fucking British sitcom called "Keeping Up Appearances", it's not just us.

>>9340843
Here's a question, why do Europeans unironically use 4chan? Just fuck off! Your culture is weird and we hate you.

>>9336034
if you dont mind, what did he get charged for

>>9337264
so immoral they think a dog is more valuable than a person

>>9334659
>all these people assuming the daughter did something wrong
Unless you can prove the person is at fault, you assume the animal is the cause of the problem no matter what.

>>9333724
My dad was hooked on playing WoW for many years, he would always be upstairs in the small room they served as a pc room/dressing room and only come down when he was needed. So whenever my sister was over or anyone else he wouldn't be there and neither would he be there in the evenings. He'd come downstairs, cook and go back upstairs again. You'd think my mom was living alone and I am surprised she managed to cope though just barely. I remember times when we confronted him about it but he is a stubborn man who instead would yell and throw a tantrum at us that he would throw everything out on the streets and would be in denial about everything (like the amount of time he'd spend gaming etc.). We'd have diners where my sister came over with her kids and husband and we'd get diner ready while he would be upstairs and he'd act like a teenager (10 aka 30 more mins) and completely forget his family only to have my parents yell at one another during diner about his gaming.

>>9335248
>not inviting exes over for dinner
No hospitality these days

My father's side of the family is openly racist.
My mothers is not.

Going out is always awkward but even more so when the two sides get together.

>>9341000

I remember spending years feeling that my dad was heavily isolating himself from his family and diners were pretty sad for many years.

The only reason he stopped gaming is because he almost died in the snow outside from having a heart attack and a stroke which affected his brain badly enough that he now has dementia and cannot think fast enough. He wasn't even 65 yet and suddenly aged to someone who is around 80. At least he spends more time with actual family now.

>>9335239
Your worst experience is someone implying that you like mashed potatoes?

>>9340942
>>9340943
Fuckin aussie here, you are retards, this is coming from someone who deals with sheepdogs, what are you, closet zoophiles? Go screw your pooch faggots

>>9340637
He's stingy with everything in life I can't fucking stand him. Anyway thanks anon, I'm hoping for the best!

>>9341018
You should make sure he isn't invited and take lots of pictures and send them to your stingy jew uncle to show off how well you and your mother can put on a christmas lunch and afterwards call him and tell him he's a stingy jew

Dunno about your aunt but do the same if she's shit too

>>9337415
No sensible person would do anything else.
He's just assmad that his culture came off as degenerate and fucked up to you and he's trying to get your balls over it.

>>9333724
I was frustrated at my dad when I was like 8, so I pushed him away from me. Later at dinner, he was in a really shitty mood so my mom asked him what was wrong. He exploded and screamed at me "If that were me, my dad would have beaten the living daylights outta me!". The image of him sobbing into his macaroni and cheese haunts me to this day.

>>9341123
Why were you frustrated enough to push him?

>>9341123
Jesus Christ. I'd rather just take the beating.

>>9334696
>It was an old blind dog who snap at anyone.
If only you had told your daughter that instead of letting it bite her. On behalf of both the kid and the dog; fuck you.

>>9341129
There was a cliff near our cottage that had loose shale that my brother and I were knocking down with a stick. It had something to do with my brother wanting a turn with the stick and me not wanting to give it up.

>>9334659

all these dumb dogcucks. have fun picking up shit for the rest of your life.

>>9335351

are you me? I have the same shit with my family.

>>9341292
Your brother should've gotten his own fucking stick then, sounds like a little pussy for running to dad and making a big fucking deal about it so much so you push your dad

>>9339567
Kek

>>9333724
Any kind of dinner situation that requires us all to sit at a table together instead of eating in separate rooms.

i get anxious around them, especially my mum. she yells a lot.

>>9341294
^ this

dogs are shit tier pets, the only beings dumber than dogs are dog owners

>>9341503
Sure thing ahmed

>>9341508
Different bloke, blue eyed and lily white, from a Celtic and German background, they're shit pets, stop deluding yourself, they're only really decent as work animals like sheep herding dogs, cop dogs, seeing eye dogs or hunting dogs

>>9341519
>german

That explains it, confirmed ahmed, go fuck yourself """"kr*ut"""

>>9341526
Nah, German side of the family moved to Australia in the 1800's same with the Celtic side and we've kept our extremely white bloodline purely white by only choosing partners of Germanic or Celtic descent

>>9337899
>Thanksgiving, year 2
>Mom is getting old so aunt and I help her with the prep a day before
>Didn't bring a fling home with me this time
>Making small chit chat, completely ignoring the clusterfuck that was last year
>Just when I think everything is in the clear, aunt brings up the subject of my cousin, her son
>braceforimpact.png
>She tells me about how my cousin was lost and needed guidance from someone his age. Asks me to talk to him.
>I thought she was joking so I chuckle a bit.
>She is dead fucking serious.
>Turns out the dipshit really was dealing and got robbed and beat up because of it.
>Looks me in the eye makes me promise that I'll talk to him
>My aunt is a nice person. She has always been good to me and my family. I see no reason to say no. Even my selfishness has limits (I suppose)
>So I'm at his place and tell him what's going on, he's high on something
>I wasn't expecting to him to, but he opens the floodgates, I'll spare you all the details
>Basically told me how fucked up his life was since his dad died
>not to be a bitch, but that was pretty obvious
>the conversation moves on to him telling me about how he fantasizes about having sex with me despite being first cousins
>again, not sure if he knew it but he wasn't exactly hiding bit of information well either
>tells me about how he fantasizes about me bearing his children
>Hold on now. What?
>before I can say anything else he's on top of me, kissing me
>In my arrogance (I work out a fair amount for vanity reasons), I wasn't too worried that he'd make move because he's scrawny
>But he's also 6'5" and I'm 5'4
>I seriously cannot push him off. Kissing and groping goes on for some time
>When he starts pulling at my clothes I manage to let out a pathetic "Please stop"
>He does, gets off and starts crying in a corner
>I get up and fix my clothing
>I kneel by his side and pat his head
>"Don't tell your mom this time, okay?"
>This fucking guy cries for hours

>>9341542
Should've told his mum about it

>>9341542
This dude needs professional help, not some cousin's chit chat ffs

>>9340843
I see as many people bringing dogs along to shit in burgerstan as I did when I lived in Paris.
Why does everything have to be about Americans all the time?

>>9335328

You should have gotten back at him while he was defenseless. Does he have any kids or grandkids? Maybe you can treat them the way he treated you.

>>9335242
A window into the life of the modern white trash family

>>9341542
>the subsequent dinner isn't as good as it was in the past due to my aunt and I not being on the same skill level with my mom
>dead tired from the night before
>cousin is there as well
>won't look me in the eye
>turkey is dry
>dinner feels like it's been going on for hours
>leave as soon as I can

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>>9335595

Anon I'm sorry but please don't ever tell this story again

Out of the 21 years I have lived, my family has never eaten a meal together at a table. We just go to our rooms. Even during thanksgiving, we serve ourselves and eat in silence in separate parts of the room. We tried once, my grandmother just refuses (i live with my grandmother).

>>9341276
>Telling a 2yo anything
Back up, we got a mental giant here.

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>>9342689
>mfw people come to my house and say "omg, you eat at your table? Who does that?"

>>9334747
Stop tryharding so violently and frothingly, you sad little nigger.
Stop getting frightened by text.

my aunt rip made these mashed taters with onions in them that was pretty bad.

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>>9343381
i turned them onto wings with blue cheese. n they loved them. devoured them.

look at them go. they love them.

>>9341542
>im a grill btw lol

>>9340943
Sorry for inventing everything.
t. European ubermensch

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>>9337875
>being THIS MAD

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>>9335407
>typical 4chan virgins
>doesnt know where he is
>talks as if he isnt one too
>mfw

>>9335493
>>9335505
I think he meant you should question your brother if he believes in pizzagate

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>>9343821
Yeah he does I showed him everything when it started happening I non nonchalantly called him over because he was asking why I wanted Trump and I just spilled every bit of info I had when it was still ripe and he shit his pants in disbelief. He ended up looking at it on his own when he went back home.

>>9341526
You do realize dogs were domesticated in germany

>>9339593
Maybe this was her way of cheering you up? By going out for dinner and take nice pictures? Pretty rude, anon.

>>9334659
I hope your daughter gets fucked by a dog and then kills herself

>>9343967
Are you saying you believe pizzagate is real?

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>>9344140
Are you heavily implying with your very jewish tendencies that PizzaGate isn't real and that it truly isn't believable that people with a lot of money could offer illegal services to make more money through laundering by investing in "businesses" on coastal states that so happen to have people who rake in a lot of money hmmm really makes me think.

>>9344243
Please anon, I need to take care of my immediate needs like making money and supporting myself before I have the free time to look into that stuff

On this board I'm procrastinating a lot as is

>>9333724
Thanksgiving 2007

I was 15, a terrible kid. I was expelled from school. Hung out with bad kids. And recently had sex for the first time and that person gave me chlamydia. My brother was dating some crazy girl that gave him syphillis. And my sister was a hypercritical edgelord hermit hambeast.

Grandpa fucking hated all of us. Was making comments about my brother and I being disgusting disgraces to God. My sister then started thinking she was in on the jokes about us, joined in. Grandpa then turns to my sister, starts shitting on her for being fat and unable to be married off in the future. My sister starts ugly crying and dramatically running to her room.

Mom and grandma tell grandpa to take it easy. Grandpa starts screaming THIS IS MY HOUSE, MY FOOD, points to grandma YOURE MY WIFE, YOU LISTEN TO ME, WHO BOUGHT THIS FOOD. YOURE ALL PIECES OF SHIT. COMPLETE FUCK UPS. LOOK AT HOW GOOD YOUR COUSINS ARE DOING.

And we all just slink away to our rooms and feel like shit. My moms crying. My grandma was mad that all her hard work failed. And my grandpa just continued eating with a smile on his face then watched the game and laughed to himself for a couple of hours.

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>>9344264
You should make time for it so you can at least see all the symbols they use for their "businesses" to know if any human trafficking is happening in your area. I live in a coastal state so I've been keeping up with it.
>mfw stumbling on this shit for the first time
It will really make you think anon.

>>9344264

C O P O U T
O
P
O
U
T

>>9343632
>le mad
put me in screencap :)

>>9339170
Same here, dude. Ever since the big brother phones in everyone's hands I can get away with saying 2 sentences per family dinner and just finish my food quickly and do what I do best which is staring at the wall.

>>9344300

Your grandpa sounds like a fucking champion.

>>9333724
My autistic brother made us lasagna, salad, garlic rolls, apple pie, and cinnamon ice cream tonight. It was fucking terrible. The lasagna tasted like watery garbage (also he used cottage cheese in it), the garlic rolls were hard as a fucking rock, the apple pie might as well have been fucking bird food, the ice cream just tasted like sugary garbage, and how in god's name do you manage to fuck up a salad?

I told the sperg that he should quit trying to cook for us because he just burns through mom's credit card to buy all the ingredients, but he never listens.

this thread makes me miss my family even though i just saw them a few weeks ago
well played, /ck/

my story: great-grandma tried to feed me rancid beef
>be at her house, it's lunchtime
>time for some tacos!
>meat is already on counter
>covered in flies
>mom comes in for the win
>notices meat
>asks if GG'ma needs any "help"
>intercepts my taco
>gives me a replacement taco consisting of a shell and lettuce, tells me to pretend it's delicious
>wraps meant up and bins it covertly
>eat pizza on way home
almost makes up for the time i got beat when i couldn't read good

my mom and grandma were pretty shitty cooks. they had a few things they were ok at but not much more complex than spaghetti. i remember they used to get those gross, tiny biscuits that were hard as fuck on the outside

think god i learned to cook when i was in an abusive relationship with my ex who brainwashed me to do everything for her

I wish I had stories. I've blocked out all of the memories of my drunk dad and nagging mom starting shit at the dinner table

>>9343234
>letting your 2yo daughter near a dog that bites
>allowing your mother in law to bring a dog that BITES over to your house that has TODDLERS
Wow, you're some fucking genius, dude.

I swear to God half the stories in this thread are the same

>I went to my parents house for insert special occasion or holiday earlier this year
>My family are all lefty cuck nigger lover tumblrina Jew kikes
>Insert family member here decides to bring up the topic of politics
>All of them all talk about their favorite sand nigger jew cuck loving political party member
>I pull a MAGA hat out of my jacket pocket and put it on and start telling them about God emperor trump and how he single handedly saved America by using Twitter and brought about an era of world peace by deploying to Iraq where he stopped the evil jew sand people brigade by assassinating their pizza pedophile ring leaders
>I stand and face in direction of the nearest American flag and start clapping
>My brown people preferring family starts screeching autistically at me about how Trump isn't fit to be President
>My dad is about to beat me when a bunch of Syrian refugees burst in and start beating my family, while chanting that they can do whatever they want because they're brown
>But suddenly multiple gunshots ring out
>All the sand people drop dead
>We hadn't even noticed that Trump himself kicked down the door and took out them all out with a desert eagle chambered in .50 African Eliminator
>My family finally sees the light
>I get down on my knees a suck daddy Trump off
>And it was the best day ever

>>9334659
>>9334678
>people with children browse this website
Our future generations are doomed.

Alone. I went to a family dinner. A family dinner kind of restaurant. I was alone. First time on Outback Steakhouse. Was in highschool back then and never had many friends so I just asked a mate who would talk about the place a lot what he would recommend me. Ribs on the Barbie, Blooming Onion, Thunder Chocolate, Mac and Cheese, the apple thing, the bread thing, and all the Coca Cola I can drink. As an idiot it didn't occur to me when he went to the place he would eat with some 4 or 5 friends. I asked another person - don't like asking a lot of things to the same person so I keep varied - if I should eat the ribs with hands or cutlery. Never had eaten them before so I didn't know. Thought you'd use the cutlery but the person "trolled" me and said you're supposed to eat with the hands. Believed them. Realized if you had to eat the ribs with the hand you probably have to eat everything else with the hand too. So with all that in mind I finally went to the place. Placed my order. Ribs on the barbie, blooming onion, mac and cheese, thunder chocolate, an apple, some bread, and lots a Coca Cola. Waiter seemed kind of shocked or whatever. Ate everything with my hands. I remember it to this day. Everyone in that place was looking at me, staring at me, like the troglodyte I was being. Terrible social experience. There were so many pairs of eyes just staring at the disgusting sight of someone eating all of that by himself and not even using cutlery. The food was very good, so I'd say it was worth it.

>>9340337
Autism speaks

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>>9333724
I wonder what it's like to have a hot mom.

Do people with hot moms think about them that way growing up, or are they programmed not to feel that way?

I was hung over and threw up in the sink, the kitchen smelled like the inside of a dead body throughout the whole dinner. The sink had cookware in it and I had to clean it all up.

>>9341542
Sounds like you're hiding something a bit about you and the rest of your family being fuck-ups too.

That's twice in a row you went back to his house for a retardd reason. At least this time you didn't try to fuck somebody while he was doing coke.

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>>9344845
7 MORE YEARS YOU FUCKING KEK

>>9344890
All my friends thought my mom was hot, and it grossed me out when they would talk about her.

So I think it's the latter.

>>9342689

I'm so sorry anon

>>9337951
I don't think that poster is a lesbian

>>9338256
>raw turkey due to a prank
I hope your cousin got no food also

>>9341030
do this OP

>>9343429
too bad you didn't invent the internet ehh mohamed?

>>9345192
I stand corrected

>>9344877
I hope you can look back at that and laugh like I am right now

>>9344890
>>9344958
Depends on if your mother spent time with you as a child and formed a healthy relationship or not

t. dude who used to think his mom was hot

>>9334659
how about you just ask her to not bring her dog around to your house again instead of sperging out and making a scene

>>9345757
He browses 4chan, he is an autist, wouldnt be surprised if its his wifes daughter

>>9344300
best grandpa.

>>9344958
>>9345248
Didn't Freud argue that all boys subconsciously wanted to nail their mom? I thought it was just normal.

>>9345940
yeah but most of Freuds shit has been defunct or has been corrected and added on to. He argued that everything in development was linked to sex.

>>9334678
>siding with the mother in law instead of your own flesh and blood

Momcest fetish detected

>>9334955
>>9335392
I despise meatloaf with raisins.

>>9345940
Just because he did a lot of coke and wanted to bang his mom, doesn't mean we all do.

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>be me
>circa every single family gathering at my aunt's
>I'm not the talkative type at all , and while everyone eats , i stay in the living room eating tendies or something, food was always either leftover turkey from weeks ago or potato salad made with cheap mayo and even cheaper potatoes
>there's this one distant cousin who is fucking obsessive with me (she was in 7th grade and i in 4th for example)(more on her later)
>her mother was a drunk , wore makeup that looked like she was shot with the makeup gun from that Simpson's episode
>there's the mandatory uncle who makes the absolute worst jokes
>mum didn't want to go , dad didn't and neither did i
>only person i even looked forward to see was grandpa
>in living room , fucking cousin appears
>starts to annoy me as always
>goes away after 20 minutes of me ignoring her
>mum comes to me and gives me shit
>fuckingwhat.jpg
was i supposed to marry her or something? what did they want from me ?
>stairs have this weird circle window cut-out thing looking out into living room
>sitting in it (comfy as fuck)
>aunt gives me shit for doing so
also
>that one fucking uncle that asks you about grades that didn't really care and asked for nothing
sorry for the /blogpost/

>>9346242
>Annoying tard cousin that is older than you and feels the need to be autistic every time you are around.
I know this pain

>>9344737
Glad we are in agreement about it not being the 2yo's fault. Why you so mad, tho?

>>9346242
are you 13 years old

>>9344845
There were maybe two of these.

>>9346607
???

Mom made some kalbi. It was burnt.
Ended up eating rice and banchan

When my black "uncle-in-law" got so drunk at Christmas that he told everyone he was my real father and my mother had to spend the rest of the holidays explaining that she wasn't possible because I'm not even a little black.

"Dad" uncle was never invited back again. Good times.

>>9346242
>not fucking her

Cousin sex is good sex, no pressure, only relaxed lovemaking.

>>9347408
>It was burnt
She was just thinking of the strapping US melanin enriched soldier she knew in the past. Give her a break, damn.

My worst family dinner would be the one I wasn't invited to on my birthday.
My dad (who hosted it) called me up in the middle of it to say how much fun they were having and to tell me happy birthday.
He still can't work out why I was angry or why I no longer want to talk to him.

>>9334659
Ye

>>9333724
Argentina crisis 2001.
Eating actual horsemeat
butcher told us it was a cow but it was an obvious lie.

best was a few days ago , when my uncle buyed food for 50 people and only 12 came to the party.
I went home with a lot of food

>>9347599
>Cousin sex is good sex

fuck off

>>9335151
BTFO

for some reason you guys have managed to be more cringy and spergy than /pol/ and [r9k] without being autistic manchilds and failed normalfags

2 year expired tortilla chips in hamburger helper

>>9334645
that might not be awful

>>9348358
I thought I was just too drunk when I was reading these stories and none of the posters really struck me as not being a part of what made the dinners so terrible, but rereading it today I realize I was right. Apparently almost everyone in this thread needs professional psychiatric help

>>9334659

People defending the dog deserve a bullet to the head too.

>>9337777
quad god

>>9334659
Don't get me wrong I like dogs but if one bites unprevoked it needs to be strangled and tossed into the trash end of story.

>>9334678
I will be saving your post for my cringe folder. Fucking kys. And fuck that dog it should be hit in the head with a shovel and thrown into the trash. Again kys

>>9344300
Based gramps.

>>9333724
mom made some dish that was basically mash potatoes mixed with ground beef. It was the only time I remember her making a dish so bad we ordered pizza instead. Dad had seconds, I think it's cause he was in Vietnam and used to c rations.

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>>9334659
>32 replies

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>>9341016
fuck off you abbo cunt and go back to getting ran over and huffing your own piss

>>9344877
>ate mac and cheese with his bare hands

>>9344482
>well played, /ck/
>mom comes in for the win
Jesus, fuck.
I wish you had remained illiterate.

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We were getting ready for dinner out on new year's eve when my parents started arguing pretty intensely. Turned out my dad was cheating on my mom and she decided to confront him at that very moment for whatever reason. He never bothered to deny it. We still went for dinner afterwards.

>>9341542
>tfw we don't just euthanize families of pure trash like this

>>9349770
A-are they still together? Are your family WASPs or something?

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>>9344324
>put me in screencap :)
>using a leddit maymay
pls go n kys fgt

>>9349780
They are. My dad finally dumped the other woman after months of shouting and crying from my mom. She hangs onto him like a limpet nowadays.

I'm still angry at the both of them.

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>>9348090
>fuck off
>not trying it
you pleb

>thanksgiving dinner a few years back
>usually my mom and dad will cook it together, but since my dad died, my mom has stopped
>she's getting old, so I decided to move back into town so that i can help her if she ever needs it
>been cooking thanksgiving dinner ever since my dad died
>that year my mom wanted to cook thanksgiving dinner
>i tell her she doesn't have too, but she insisted
>time for dinner
>all my siblings who thinks i made this year's dinner again, criticized the meal calling it shit
>my mom starts crying saying she was the one who cooked this year's thanksgiving dinner
>all my siblings say that she doesn't have to take blame for "my" cooking
>all my siblings blame me for making our mom cry
>gets banned from any family group vacation from that year out

>>9348653
nah, I ment it in the way that these stories sound like they were made up by some retarded elementary school kid
just like r9k's

>>9349850
Absolutely disgusting

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>>9349850
10/10 made me rage

>>9335351
lol you voted for trump