Webm Thread

>>9307440
What does a human arm taste like?

>>9307501
Probably pork

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shitposting on /ck/ has never tasted so good

>>9307501
Isnt that leg?

Its somewhere between pork and veal.

>>9307440
what is he cooking?

>>9307501
Osso bucco is made from shank meat

so it would be whatever human bicep tastes like, which, now that I think about it, would be pretty gamey and not great considering how much we use our arms

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>>9307542

>>9307542
the leg of a human

>>9307542
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcfWWcQO6OY

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>>9307546
>would be pretty gamey and not great considering how much we use our arms

this might be true, but if you watch OP's vidya, the cook actually sears and then braises the meat. With the right seasoning and enough time to properly braise, you could kill the gamey flavor and end up with some tender vittles.

I would try it.

>>9307563
well then the prop department fucked up, because human fat unlike other animal fats is not white but yellow.

>>9307569
I cringe every time Hannibal cooks and invites someone to dinner(besides the obvious) and watching them eat and say "Oh this is wonderful!" etc. I just sit there and be like, "Ugh. You wouldn't be saying that if you knew the truth." lol

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>>9307627

>>9307605
how the fuck are the grill grates sliding off when he opens it up? what the fuck kind of seismic activity is making the stationary hunks of metal move forward off the damn grill?

>>9307634
he ALWAYS finds a way to fuck things up, that's why he is /our guy/

>>9307605
please do not post gore

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>>9307627

>>9307605
>phone in the raw meat container
This is a performance art.

>>9307627
Did I accidentally go to facebook again?

>>9307678
>He can't into post-ironic normanposting

>>9307626
Humans, like most animals, probably hsve fat that's white when we're young and turns yellow as we age.

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>>9307454

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>>9307517
I bet that is just his serving

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>>9307605
Based Ja/ck/

>>9308350
I had a dream where jack was naked in my house and he wouldn't put clothes on. He started eating all my cottage cheese then threw it up in my nice Tupperware. I freaked out and he drank the puked cottage cheese and got an erection. In my dream it zoomed in on his penis and he camed. I am a sad girl

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>>9308366
That's a nightmare for sure but probably not that far from his daily routine

>>9307454
Do americans really do this?

>>9308369
no UK fags do

>>9308368
I fucking hate Jack so much

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>>9308366

>>9308324
TOP, NICE AND LOOSE

>>9308368
Why does he always 'meet the meat', rather than bring it towards him?

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>>9308427
You know why

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>>9308421
kek

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>>9308389
You love him

>>9308503
What is this from? Also it looks fucking delicious

>>9307554
damn nice. thanks

>>9308511
Japanese drama, Kodoku no Gourmet.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kodoku_no_Gourmet

>>9307501
About 2 years or so ago, I was helping someone weld and a piece of hot solder fell onto my hand, burned through my glove, and cooked some of the flesh in my hand.

When I put my mouth to the burn, it tasted a lot like a gamier pork. That pork/beef analogy is accurate enough for demonstration purposes.

Didn't taste good, despite that, FYI.

It's a very weird flavor.

>>9308526
>on a cooking board
>doesnt know osso buco one of the greatest meat dishes in the world
>yall niggers need to start cooking and reading instead of jack shitposting.

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>>9308628

>>9308435
WHY IS HE TERRIFIED OF OIL?

>>9308772
>top 10 anime betrayals

>jack-fags ruin yet another webm thread

like clockwork

>>9307585
What's the problem with the DVD screensaver?

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>>9308430
>>9308435
>>9308469
>>9308368
Please post the cheese grater webm.
Also what vid is it from?

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>>9308858
>food jacks ARE webm threads
fixed that for you, faggot

What is a food jack?

>>9308864
I think it's supposed to be like, you're in a waiting room or airport or something and don't have the remote

>>9308435
His technique is all wrong, he should be across the room using a slingshot to get the food in the oil. That's the only way to be safe from hot oil.

>>9308864
it didn't bounce in the exact corner

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>>9308389
do not

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>>9308890

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>>9310073
Grate, more like it

>>9310137

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>>9310188
Fug forgot the vid

>>9310207
I unironically find this more upsetting than Ja/ck/

>>9310221
>unironically
>>>/r/eddit

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>>9310231
>le reddit bogeyman

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>>9310137

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>>9310242

>>9307454
anyone got the one where they're trying to open a coconut?

>>9308503
Had okonomiyaki in Hiroshima. It was quite bland and boring.

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>>9310274

>>9310207
Just agar and water? Does it have a taste a all?

>>9310137
Why does he look angry there?

>>9307627
>>>/reddit/

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>>9310193
impeccable coordination

>>9308366
>girl (male)
ftfy

>>9310193
Looked edible until he added that lumpy ass chocolate

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>>9310340
Yeah he bought the cake from the store and just cut it up and shoved shit in it.

>>9310242
Wow that's racist.

>>9310257
in all seriousness, how are you supposed to use that thing? Looks like an incredibly pointless and inefficient unitasker

>>9310323
Is that supposed to be a cartoon heart?

>>9310282
most of the time I see them with fruit inside

>>9310278

Hiroshima style okonomikai is boss but it really needs the sauce.


Otherwise it's just a ton of fried cabbage, some bacon and some egg.

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>>9307554
post more Hannibal recipes please.

>>9310523
>raw spam

>>9307662
AHAHA JESUS

>>9310442
you're supposed to cut larger stuff down a little first
also HE LEFT THE FUCKING STICKER ON

>>9308389

I love to hate Jack

>>9310708
Hating Jack turns me on.

>>9310523
>Hurr durr fancy plating can make everything look expensive, amirite fellow flyovers?
>Plates still look like garbage

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>>9310523
>2nd plate
is that a fucking half-bitten nugget. Jesus christ, this is stupid.

>>9310798
>>9310809
>triggered

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>>9310708

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>>9311003

>>9310492
Wait, do you mean "cartoon heart shape" instead of an anatomically correct heart shape? I just want to be clear, here.

>>9308864
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1T3_C9wYrY

>>9311249
The former.

>>9308864
how underage can you be.

>>9310630
The stickers are edible.

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I wish the j
Jac kfucktards will at least say it is a Jack webm so the posts are more easily filtered.

>>9310282
Agar-agar is just that, plain old jello. For flavour, we just add flavourings. Popular flavours include Rose and Pandan flavour.

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>>9311453
If you're this easily triggered you might consider a site called /r/eddit

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>>9311487
>he doesn't know Reddit championed Jack's YT channel
Retard.

>>9311042
>bullying sister
i wish i had a sister ;-;

>>9311507
No they don't, this thread has more activity in it than all of reddit does in regards to Jack
you are either baiting or dumb. Nice use of champion though, if it were true.

Jack is 4chan approved and our intellectual property.

>>9311507
A lot of chan memes make it over to reddit to varying degrees, that doesn't mean shit.

>>9311526
Chan and Reddit should just merge sites together desu. We're all just here laughing at the same memes and trying to get upvotes and (you)s

>>9311547
A (You) is worth infinitely more than an upvote.

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>>9311547
Please god no

>>9311453
Is that skele okay?

>>9307501
i've read testimony of people who have tested human meat that it would stand between pork veal and lamb but in proportions i dont know

>>9307605
P H O N E
H
O
N
E

>>9307454
For the love of god please tell me what this and the coconut clip are from

>>9310257
>Fingers all over the thing just waiting to get caught when he slams it
>Knife just sitting right there that could have done the job if 2 seconds

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>>9307440

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>>9310365
Nah. You just don't know shit about that god tier Easter bun/cheese combo.

The ad was made by black people btw

>>9311668
>i've read testimony of people who have tested human meat
Could you tell us more?
I just can't fathom how someone would know people who tasted human meat.
And why did they share the story with you?
Are you sure they are telling the truth?
How did the subject even came up to start with?

I'm really curious.

>>9310278
Okonomiyaki in Hiroshima is completely different though, it's why it's called Hiroshimayaki. They make it with noodles there. I prefer it over the normal myself.
Okonomiyaki is from Osaka and is just endless cabbage and tons of sauce to add flavour.

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>>9310237
what movie is this again? asking for a friend

>>9311796
shut up faggot

>>9311859
Eat Drink Man Woman

>>9311597
Nope, bone cancer.

>>9308324
>butter in coffee
Fuckin' jack

Anyone save that bread cone thing from the last webm thread?

>>9311862
Make me, bitch.

>>9310242
do americans really do this?

>>9310237
What movie is this as I wanna watch it

>>9312112

see

>>9311870

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>>9307440
>You realize that you would much rather prefer lovingly prepared human pieces than the shit Jack makes.

>>9312178
Autism.

>>9308469
Shit, I have those same plates.

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>>9312292
>tfw you have the same taste as Ja/ck/

>>9309142
Hi im /new/. I wont bother you guys im just wondergin, how is this guy so bad at cooking. Is it on purpose because if i follow the directions i at least come up with a pile of something edible but his shit as far as i can see looks raw or prepared wrong in every video

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>>9312468

>>9307631
This was the appropriate response to that post.

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>>9312509
Stop, ive been here 30 mins and he already repulses me

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>>9312526
you are weak

>>9311551
(Upboat)

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>>9311003
In what backwards dystopian world is a pot of chicken thighs and a bunch of vegetable oil a complete dish?

>>9308503
Why does this guy remind me of Christopher Walken so much?

>>9310523
>that'll be $50 plus tip for that chunk of spam sir.

>>9310297
I think he's doing something wrong but doesn't realize it. Complains about the product when it's actually his fault

>>9312760
Doesn't he have the plate set for small pan or something?

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Can Jack do ANYTHING right? Has he ever made a dish that didn't look like shit?

>>9312762
YT comments seem to imply he also used the lowest setting

>>9310257

THE STICKER

I'm fucking dying here

>>9311754
No hiss.

>>9312791
yes, for the scrambled egg he uses the lowest setting, that would barely be enough to keep a simmer going. And the pan obviously doesn't conduct heat worth a shit.

>>9311003
This gave me cancer

>>9312560

I regret to inform you that it's actually lamb. Also Kay is a fucking mong.

>>9311796

>read testimony
>read

christ anon take a break

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>>9307631

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You now want to make sweet sweet love to a cake

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>>9308628
>>9308772
>yall niggers need to start cooking and reading instead of jack shitposting.
Good poster.

>>9307440
Are there a lot of cooking scenes in Hannibal? If so, I might pick up.

>>9313083
lol fucking dumbass

>>9313070
mad skillz

>>9313101
In almost every episode, they not too long but surely appetizing. I always get hungry when I watch this show. The cooking scenes are beautiful, I heard Madds Mikkelsen made every meal himself on set.

>>9313061
>>9313062
>>9313064
So there's something wrong with her stomach making her able to pull this shit off, but how has she not died on the toilet from the results?

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>>9311003
Even for Kay this is awful. Jesus...

>>9312774
I have to admit when he redid the yorkshire puds he didn't do a bad job.

>>9309236
Fucking dumbass

>>9313142
It's called Bulimia.

>>9310523
i fuckn hate eater

>>9310257
HE LEFT THE STICKER ON THE APPLE
fucking lol

>>9312305
I've seen so many TP images on /ck/ recently and I'm honestly loving it.

>>9313398
Thanks for sharing, kind sir. Remember to upvote the posts when you see them to help spread the good vibes to other gentlepeople throughout the day. :D

>>9313427
what the fuck are you talking about, you spastic

>>9313433
Aww, now you're upset. :( Go look at more happy images to feel better! :D Keep us updated on how much you're loving it.

>>9310348
ok this has got to be a piss take

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>>9313441

>>9313441
You sound like a huge faggot if you care how other people use an anonymous imageboard

>>9308366
THAT MEANS YOU'RE GOING TO TURN INTO A LESBIAN.

>>9308350
>>9308350
>>9308350
>>9308350
Who is Jack?

>>9313508
AN ENIGMA.

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>>9313442
>>9313508
WITNESS ME

>>9310137
>This level of gore

>>9310365
oh boy alt-left coming through
nazis watch out

>>9310523
this unironically infuriates me

>>9310154
I threw up.

>>9313066
chinaman cheese cake

>>9308435
pussy

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>>9307440

Why are people so triggered over plating? It takes like an extra minute max and it just makes the food look nicer.

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>>9313851

>>9313851
I don't give a flying fuck about presentation as long as the food is edible and all the different pieces of food aren't thrown into one gloopy mess. Just give me my food, I don't need you to plate it like a fucking autist.

>>9311898
That's a somewhat common thing, actually. Look up bulletproof coffee. Became popular with the military; somehow the fat slows down caffeine absorbtion and you don't get a caffeine high or crash.

>>9313870
t. philistine

>>9313070
the way he seperates it from the pan to form into an omelette at the end looks so skilled that it looks fake.

>>9307631
Wtf! I love minions now

>>9313398
Go back to your containment website you fucking faggot

>>9314001
Nope, I'm quite happy here. Sounds like you're the one who has a problem :^)

>>9308389
At first jack made me LOL i coudn't believe this guy was for real. Then i began to hate jack, i couldn't believe this guy was for fucking real. Now he's like that old friend that keeps messing up but you keep visiting from time to time to see what's he up to now

>>9314010
>>>/tumblr/
>>>/reddit
>>>/trash/
,':^)

>>9308427
So it doesn't fall all over his shirt

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>>9314114
It would still fall on his shirt due to his boulder-mode body

>>9314124
>gorillas do it low n slow
what the fuck is that gay ass shirt supposed to mean

>>9314138
It's for grilla grills which he was shilling at the time. They use a gorilla on their logo

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>>9314124
>boulder-mode body

>>9314153
I guess that makes slightly more sense, but I still don't get what it's supposed to mean

>>9314124
How many big boy bites does it take to get to this point?

>>9314112
as much of a meme this guy is, at the very least he's not a shit chef

>>9310137
>It's on the lowest temperature setting

why is he so dumb?

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>>9314175
one...
two...
three...

>>9314135
Ashens is great

>>9314168
you'll understand when you get older, honey.

>>9314135
Ashens is a fucking god among youtubers

>>9314327
it means gorilla grills use low heat for a long period of time to cook meat, the guy is a idiot if he can't figure it out

>>9314269
Is this man a parody? Or is it real and simply horrifying. He's like Tim Allen the Tool man for food.

>>9310523
Why did people ever get the idea to splatter a pitiable amount of food around a plate? No one eats that way, it doesn't follow from nature or anything.

>>9314352
But with no Al Bundy to correct him so he just spirals into the depths of stupidity

>>9314355
Early French weebs.

>>9314407
Is this guy swedish?

>>9314407
MURDER

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>>9314407

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>>9314407

>>9314407

I've seen jack hundreds of times, but I have never been as angry as I am about this fucking faggot. How can you possibly be this bad at eating fucking pizza.
>degreases
>pizza forker
>autistically cuts off the crust so that... he can eat the little part attached to the crust but not the crust?
>cuts it into strips and then folds it over

Who is this man, why does he have to turn fucking pizza into such a fucking ordeal.

>>9314407
>>9314459
It's worse once you hear him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfbVkQHh8s4

>>9314479
>skeletor fagboy "I got to cut down on carbs"

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>>9314479

Jesus Christ.
>"cutting down on carbs"

THEN STOP EATING FUCKING PIZZA YOU FAGLORD

>>9314407
>once he brings out the gloves
this has got to be satire

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>>9314479
>MOOZARRHEL

>>9313870
It definitely enhances the experience.

>>9314407
Just imagining the sound of plastic cutlery against a paper plate sends shivers down my spine, how does this faggot do it

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>>9314505
The look of the food also directly affects the perceived taste. People would eat many different kinds of bugs that end up tasting almost exactly like salty popcorn if they didn't look like bugs. Plating can also refer to much more than just "smear some green sauce around the plate"

>>9307585
That's not a braise, it's just in the oven. A porcelain dutch oven like that wouldn't facilitate braising

>>9310207
so it's just fucking jello?

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>>9314479
>folding the slice
nothing else in this video made me madder

>>9308864
>>9309236
Doesn't hit directly in the corner

>>9314358
> I don't think so peg

>>9308803
>>9309284
lmfao fuck what a retard

>>9314407
>world's worst
Not even close

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2A1qYpp4HA

>>9308350
wtf? he puts a prolapsed anus in there?

>>9314537
>not folding
fucking flyovers I swear

>>9314558
I made it all of 15 seconds.

Can someone post one of those mexican street food things where they take a bag of chips and soak it in sauce and hawain punch

>>9314479
Why are Americans so insitent on eating pizza with your hands like a barbarian? I can understand when kids want to eat their pizza like that or when you're really drunk and don't really care, but why make this huge deal about it as if it's the proper way to eat this foreign food?

>>9314558
>>9314577

Two and a half minutes in and I checked to see how long the video was. Cheesus Christ it's 23 minutes of how to dab a paper towel on pizza.

>>9313398
These niggas don't know nothin about mah nigga David Lynch and twin peaks

>>9310257
how do you like your apples?

with the fucking sticker on

>>9314112
Watching this, the only thing going through my head isn't how good the food looks, or that I could do that, it's 'what a fucking asshole'

>>9310256
>>9310269
Too comfy. What was the name of this movie again?

>>9311513
I have 4 older sisters
Just over half of my family are women
No you don't

>>9314124
So this is true, if you achieve the max skill level in cooking you become a meatball

>>9313855
Why would you do that over a blanket? Fucking maniac.

>>9314644

i think he meant a younger sister

>>9314479
>europeans eat pizza with a knife and fork
>pizzeria owner gets broads and a fag to illustrate how pathetic these cucks are

pretty good video, would upvote and share

>>9314639
Eat drink man woman

>>9314596
Because it's bread. Who eats bread with a fork and knife.
And pizza is an american food, get at me

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3MB, 600x338px

i kinda want to try stage 3

>>9314526

yes it would, why the fuck wouldn't it?

>>9307646
Who is that

File: 1494441992298.webm (2MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x1080px

>>9314759
Ja/ck/!

>>9310154
i love tabieats... this looks awful

>>9314135
>There's a bun inside
>are you fakking shitting me

Best part of the video

>>9313230
>>9312774
https://youtu.be/gMZaXDymBqI

Truth. It's kinda cute hearing him be so happy that they turned out right

>>9308569
Nigga, that wasn't your flesh, that was the solder. I hope your parents are prepared to take care of a vegetable for the rest of their lives

>>9314802

First time I actually watched one of his videos with sound, he has a surprisingly nice voice.

>>9313142
she widens her butthole with large dildoes to prevent tearing

>>9307440
webm thread, 90% bullshit food. Why are you like this?

>>9314515
Agreed. That pic looks like shit though.

>>9314802
>I can only have one - gotta watch what I eat
fucking kek

>>9310523
WA
LA

>>9314407
Does he have terminal bone cancer or something? He uses his ustensils with less skills than a toddler in training.

>>9314657
Younger sisters are pretty horrible, not fun to have around at all, trust me

>>9315109

>"that'll be $500 + tip sir"

>>9314895
Jack was/could conceivably be again a radio and nightclub DJ, so he does have a honed speaking voice

>>9315076
aka magic coffee

>>9315194
Pork Belly is the tits

>>9307440
Jack ruins ck webm threads for me, any clip of him is nausea inducing

>>9314407
It's piling on at this point but for someone who uses a knife an fork to eat pizza he sure as hell doesn't know how to use a knife and fork.

>>9308366
>and he camed
Yes you are a sad girl

>>9314479
Every single person in that video is a fucking faggot. Especially the owners kid. I imagine the dabbing, fork and knife using guy is actually not a fag and is just acting like one.
>I need my hands clean for tweeting and checking facebook
Yeah, there's no way anyone says that with a straight face no matter how up your own ass you are.

>>9314596
lol, why would you eat pizza with a knife and fork unless you're wearing a suit. Do you eat a sandwich with utensils too.

>>9314694
I'm saving this video to my phone to show to the next Italian who gets too uppity about Italian cuisine.

>>9314802
Still, I think that was entirely too much thyme.

>>9309236
i've never seen someone this fucking stupid

>>9315076
aka burnt crap coffee

French Press>Espresso Machine with lighter roasted beans> AutoDrip>Percolater>Instant Cofee>McDonaldsCoffee>Starbucks>Turkish burnt crap>all tea that isnt black

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>>9310257
Why is he such an unrelenting retard? Is there no end to his moronic attempts at even the most basic level of success?

>>9315210
isnt it like just straight up fat with maybe a piece of meat? How is that good?

>>9312815
>>9313370
>>9314619
its edible you fucking idiots. leaving the sticker is fine. its not gonna fucking kill you. he just has no idea how to cut a fucking apple

>>9315424
It's tasty fat. If you're on a diet or something it's probably not for you, but it gets partially rendered and sort of melts into the meat when you bite into it, it's just really rich.

>>9310630
>HE LEFT THE FUCKING STICKER ON
that's because he's doing it "the manly way," fuck stickers just eat them for extra food

>>9314644
are you the guy from Punch Drunk Love?

>>9315630
Huh, I mean I could see the flavor being great but fat has a pretty shitty texture, thats why people like marbled steaks, not steaks with giant attachments of pure fat.

Unless its cooked a certain way. Ill tell you what Ill give it a try sometime and report back. What kind of places would have this? A decent 4 star steak house?

>>9308369
those women are very clearly british

>>9312468
hes purposely bad at cooking, there are some retards around here who think he's not doing it on purpose

>>9308772
I like how he bends his neck like saying "I'm going to be really badass in just a moment with my father"

>>9310154
Half an hour to prepare something in the microwave that anybody can do in 15 minutes

>>9307585
The egg yolk bursting gave me a pang of anxiety.

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>>9315408
>Not mentioning God-teir bee dripper.

Does anyone have the webm of that down syndrome girl who tries to flip the pancakes?

>>9314694
Inb4 armies of limpdicks crying about grease and excess. Where can I get one?

>>9313074
Ugh looked really good before he cut it open...

>>9316161
So you don't like properly cooked eggs?

>>9316163

I like not catching salmonella.

>>9316179
Well memed friend

>>9316163
It looks disgusting to me.

>>9316200
What was I expecting on /ck/?

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47KB, 619x453px

>>9314407

>>9316200
>>9316200
>>9316200
>>9316200
Very upsetting. Do you like rubber eggs? You must be American.

>>9314449
why is american pizza floppy?

>>9313142
Her stomach holds all of the food and she has some digestive disorder, so she literally just shits most of it straight back out. There's a pic somewhere showing an x-ray of her with 80 bigmacs in her belly.

>>9316148

Spotted the Mexican.

>>9311513
I have a younger sister. She's not nearly as pretty as this. Really ruins the mood.

>>9315717
I've mostly seen it in Chinese places, but sometimes you get it in Western restaurants on mash or something. It's definitely less gristly than the fat on a steak.