how do you order coffee

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>>9306740

"Can I have a large black coffee pls"
>need room?
"no thanks, I'm fine"

P. Ez

"large double double"

>>9306750
but i want a nice coffee with all the little extras added
how do i do it

Let me get a bean juice, middle of the road on 20th street. Squeeze the cow and give it a crystal.

>>9306757

What extras?

What did you mean by this?

No talkie until until my coffee!

>>9306786
whenever i go with friends and family they have such a long order and i dont know how to order one so i just say ill have the same

>>9306796

What do they order?

>>9306740
With your big boy words! Go on fella, you can do it!

>>9306799
>>>/pol/

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>>9306799

Depends on what you want.

You just want a regular black coffee or something on the sweet side?

>>9306805
idk some random capucinno latte triple shot
i dont know what these words means and all the types, my coffee knowledge only goes up to instant coffee

>>9306799

just another example of how /ck/ got worse when /v/ and /pol/ started coming here

>>9306740
Only faggots drink anything other than black coffee. It's also acceptable to order a red eye which is regular coffee with a shot of espresso added for an extra bit of caffeine.

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>>9306740
>unironically go to starbucks because haven't had coffee in six hours and I can choose not to drink coffee anytime I want
>I'll have an americano
>inb4 diluted espresso I know it is
>can I have it 75% espresso
>what
>can I have 2/3 of it espresso and the rest water?
>uhhh
>you mean like how many shots of espresso dude
>mfw
>like how you normally do it but more espresso and less water
>white people smile.jpg
>tfw not even white

>>9306799
Such sophisticated humor. I don't think that this board deserves of someone with such a high IQ and talent with jokes. Why don't you go to
>>>/pol/
Oh and make sure not to come back

>>9306858

why do you get such a retarded order? just ask for x shots of espresso with some water added or add the water yourself you cuck

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>>9306863
>barista not knowing how to adjust americano
>going to starbucks and paying startax just to do something you can do at home
>mfw

>>9306869

you're the one who went in the first place you retard

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>>9306850

Cappuccino is
>espresso
>water
>foamed milk
An Americano is just espresso and hot water.
A latte is the same but with milk and not water. A double means an espresso based beverage with 2 shots of espresso.
A red eye is black coffee with a shot of espresso. Drip coffee is just brewed coffee.

>>9306872
it was an emergency situation. I would have made my own if I was at home.

>>9306879

> emergency situation
> coffee

le survival juice xD

seriously going to Starbucks and bitching about it, especially something that is your fault for communicating like an autist, makes you the retard here, not the barista

well, they might have been one too, but you're still more retarded

>>9306740

Lemme get a double triple Grande iced vanilla no foam soy milk extra

>>9306893
>le survival juice xD
>hasn't had caffeine withdrawal
>communicating like an autist
>t.retarded barista

>>9306740
Black. Unless I'm in a starbucks. If you're spending $7 on it you might as well get the gayest fanciest thing they make

Lemme get a Venti Zebra Frap. Extra whip. Yes i'd like a caramel drizzle

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TWO SUGARS, TWO SUGARS BITCH

>>9306855
Your butthurt only encourages me to shitpost more you little faggot ahahahaha

>>9306862
Why are you so triggered shit for brains? You a nigger loving faggot or something? Go on any board and you'll find plenty of people who hate niggers so why don't you just stop using the site if you get triggered so easily little bitch?

>>9306903
>hasn't had caffeine withdrawal
Shit clears up in a week you enormous baby.

>>9306757
Ay girl put some shit in it.

>>9306968

literally just have to filter the word nigger

anyone who uses it on /ck/ of all god damn places has nothing of value to say anyway

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>>9306740
>some milk
>half a packet of sugar
>cinnamon on top

>>9307021

Faggot

>>9306987
>it's ok to be in withdrawal when you can't be in withdrawal brah it will clear in a week and not right now when you need to be in withdrawal
>emergency
dumbass

>>9306799
wow guys he said nigger!
quick screencap it and post it to le /r/4chan for epic karma!
>>>/pol/

>>9306799
the dubs and butthurt make it even better

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>>9307092
Aw, thanks Anon.
Your opinion means fuck all, you and I both know that

>>9306858
>>9306869

C O A L B U R N E R

>>9307120
The only dumbass is the idiot who manages to catch a caffeine addiction in the first place.
This isn't crack or meth you idiot you can quit cold turkey any time.

I remember asking for coffee in a hospital she just gave me a tiny bit of disgustingly bitter coffee with not much water, no sugar or milk. I didn't know if I had to pay extra for the milk and sugar that was sitting there on the counter so I just walked out and drank the tiny bit of horribly bitter liquid.

>>9307203
>anon gets high on painkillers and orders an espresso

Wow.

>>9307203
>being in a hospital

Wew lad, you get aids from sucking too many faggot nigger dicks?

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>>9307120
Honestly grab an energy drink or a coke from a convenience store. It'll give you nearly as much caffeine as you need and you won't have to argue with the barista through clenched teeth. Also work on the addiction.

>want a plain black coffee
>never quite sure how to order a plain black coffee

>>9307370
>can I get a plain black coffee

>>9307370
>>9307406
>can i get uhhh.... boneless coffee

>>9306740
You don't.
don't spend your money on starbucks.

>>9307406
>can I get a plain black coffee?
>"Sure, what kind?"
>uuuh...

>>9306740
C-can I get a cup of coffee p-please?
>What'd you say? A large chai latte?
Y-you too

>>9306740
Walk in and ask for a flat white

>>9306757
You ask for what you want

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Can I ask for several shots of espresso in an empty cup with ice and then help myself to the half and half at the napkin station?

Will they charge just for the expresso shot (80 cents) or does this apply to complete drinks only?

>>9306786
>What extras?
He wants a cookie.

>>9307370
this, fucking retards ruined my coffee. I have to say meme word to actually order a cup of normal black coffee.

>>9306740
sometimes I love how uncultured my country is. Outside of starbucks you can just say "Give me a coffee" and they will bring you a coffee.

There's no way to order coffee at any modern coffee shop without sounding like a homosexual.

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The easiest place to order coffee is on a McDonald's touch screen.
Why are there no touch screens to make orders at Starbucks yet?

>>9306877
>cappuccino
>added water

in what universe

>>9307551
it serves as an autism filter, spergs can't interact with attractive barista girls so they stay away

Acceptable daily coffee orders for a grown man:
Black coffee (cream/milk/sugar acceptable over age 50)
Cappuccino
Double espresso

The "room" meme needs to end. If someone wants less coffee in the cup, they should specify that when they order.

>>9306740
Tall flat white.

>>9306740
>Order large coffee, black.
>Ask non-binary gender fluid attack helicopter behind counter to add a few cubes of ice to the cup.
>They stare at the register for 2 minutes trying to find the button that charges for two cubes of ice.

>>9306740
You're going to have a difficult life, anon.

>>9306740
Latté, no foam no sugar (i add a little myself, otherwise it's always too sweet)

>>9306799
moon man moon man can't you see?

>walk in
>put money on counter
>receive coffee

Don't even need to talk.

>>9306987
Nigga try a day wtf are yall doing

>>9307728
Sucking faggot nigger dicks by the sound of things

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>>9306799
11/10 post

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I make it myself because I'm not a stupid asshole.

>>9306740
With my mouth

>>9306740
2 creams no sugar

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hello, two mcdoubles and a small coffee, 2 cream 2 sugar. thanks.

oh can i have a cup for """""water"""""

>>9306740
espresso black, sometimes short if im in a hurry.

>>9308247
>can i have a cup for """""water"""""
You fill the cup with ketchup, don't you

>>9306740
>how do you order coffee
If ever iced heavy cream and very sweet

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>>9308258
no i actually fill it with water and drink it. then when im ready to leave i fill it with coke and walk out.

Light and sweat. Unless I am dead tired. Then I get cocaine.

>>9308274
Sweat. Yes. Sweat has a chemical reaction with the coffee bean. Hard to explain, it exudes a vinegary taste with a hint of.edamame.

Perferable the sweet from an old Polish woman.

"un caffè espresso per favore"

>>9306850
Fucking ask your friends what kind of fancy shit they order and why. You can also just ask the person on the counter to explain shit to you. Or just try out a bunch of different stuff and figure out what you like.

YOU GOT OPTIONS HERE

>>9306740
Un allongé et un grand verre d'eau s'il vous plait.

>>9306740
I don't. Fuck paying stupid money for coffee.

"One coffee please." Don't forget to bring money to pay for said coffee.

toss coins in, press the button.

>>9307632
Imagine making your coffee order part of your identity
Its weird

>>9306740
I'm learning as well. I try to go to local coffee shops instead of starbucks, but if you're going to starbucks try downloading their app and playing with their menu, come up with a drink and it'll tell you what it's called.

When I order coffee I say "____ mocha with whole milk." Choose a flavor and put it in the blank. Vanilla is good.

>>9306750
*Tips fedora*

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>>9307370
Hey can I get your darkest roast with nothing in it.
-t. coffee ordering pro

>>9306740
I don't drink coffee anymore but Litterally God tier coffee from starbucks is

>grande cold brew
>good pour of heavy cream

Thank me later

>>9306796
Such orders are so common, I trip up baristas with the brevity of my order. The few times I order at Starbucks, it goes roughly like
>"Tall latte, please."
>Pause
>"...oh! uh, the name for your order?"

>>9306768

Honestly?

Underrated post.

I feel u.

Black, 14 sugars

>>9306750
so you go to UCSC?

>>9306740

iced mocha, or iced mocha frappe/latte

>>9306790

>describing a literal drug withdraw

NO TALKIE TIL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE

>>9306740
>Americano with steamed almond milk.

Can I have a medium mocha?
>Sure, what kind of milk

AAAAAHHHHHHH

>>9307456
Just hope you arent ordering from someone with balls. Baristas will shut you down.

>>9306790
>>9310388
>"But sir, what sort of coffee do you want?"

Is this the Robert of /ck/?

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>Drinking Meme Juice

Enjoy your caffeine dependency, retards!

>>9306740
black whatever. $1 at the collectively owned 22 hour veg*n greasy spoon I go to.

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>>9311948
I will! (until I've gone too long without caffeine, then i won't)

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>>9311948
96 black ounces a day every day CMON

>>9307456
cute pic dude

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>can i get an iced black coffee
>are you sure?
>mfw

tim hortons

>one order of...iced black coffee
>really?

>>9312056
What are they eating?

>>9312058
breakfast i think

>>9310130
UC Santa Cruz.....?

>>9306740
one cream, one sugar. Just enough to knock down any bitterness.

>>9306858
you clearly don't understand how you order a fucking drink

>>9306740
I point at the menu behind the girl at the counter and if she doesn't get it right I point at it harder and make a high pitched whine.

>>9306858
Just as for a quad shot you literal autist.

>>9312056
People get confused when you order coffee with ice in it.
I want to drink the coffee, not wait a half a fucking hour for it to cool because your pot is set to MELT.

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>pronounced Macchiato wrong

I'm brewing some beans I got from ALDI's the beans smell like straight ass. Is this really the shit europeans think is high class. Even foldgers is better

black, americano, or latte
it depends

>>9312465
>mhat-chee-yaah-tou

>>9306752
Medium double double

>>9312475
ALDi is the cheapest shit ever. how did you get the idea of high class for it?

>>9306740
with my mouth.

>>9312544
I don't know but it doesn't taste that bad just smelled awful. Maybe because it's a light blend.

>>9312475
No, ALDI is budget shit that's the cheapest supermarket around.

>>9312557
so where do you get good south american beans?

>>9312563
specialised coffee shop

>>9312563
Algerian Coffee Stores in London.

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>>9312566

>>9312565
>>9312566
i bet yall just drink nesco instant anyways

>>9312572
do they even roast the beans in store?

>>9312573
i dink lavazza since im a poorfag

>>9312519
Mhak- khi- ahtO

>>9306740
" Can I have an espresso neAt on the rocks"

i ask for a coffee and if the barista is cute i ask if i can touch her hand

>>9311948
>I am a child who is relaying information given to me from a parent

>>9312586
lavazza isn't too bad, it's what i steal from the bar at work

>>9306914
tall, grande or big?

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>>9308695
"un doppio per favore, grazie"

>>9312879
>I am a manchild who drinks coffee only because the people on tv do

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>>9306768
This is clever.

I like my coffee like I like my bulls, you silly little goose. Also just a dolop of cum please, cutie pie.

>>9313038
alrigh whiteboi, open yo mouth and stick out you tongue

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>>9312465
covfefe

I'll have a big americano, but with milk instead of water.

>>9306740
Pretty simple really. I don't

venti blonde roast with 2 shots of espresso

i dont do it very often, this is nearly $5 and I get better tasting coffee at home but this is the only way to salvage their shit coffee

>>9306740
Grande semen. Sprinkles. Splash of cream.

>>9306858
They charge you based on the amount of espresso shots you're getting, you fucking retard. Each espresso shot is a set volume, if you want "more espresso," you have to pay for additional shots.

>Double shot of espresso = anywhere between 1 to 2 oz depending on the place, usually 1.5 oz for $4
>order an 8 oz Americano that's 75% espresso = double shot x4 = about $16

Do you see how ridiculous you sound?

>>9306768
how come only pajeets and cute highschool girls work at coffee joints /ck/?

>>9306858
>>9306869

To make this >>9313859 more clear, think of it in terms of alcohol. When you order a rum and coke, you get 2oz of rum and the rest is topped off with coke. The equivalent of what you were trying to order was basically a rum and coke with quadruple the amount of alcohol. It's not a simple adjustment, they need to charge you for the extra shit that you're trying to get away with for free.

>>9313895
service oriented jobs are extremely sexist, they hire only attractive girls or exceptionally attractive guys
starbucks makes it a point to also fasttrack hire minorities because they think all minorities are also immigrants and they've been virtue signaling for a while now

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>mfw have to specify "unsweetened" when ordering a black coffee at Starbucks otherwise it automatically gets simple syrup

>>9312182
yeah, their elite students dont fuck with anything but the finest black coffee

>>9306740
>I'll have a double espresso macchiato

>>9306740
The only place where I ever get coffee is at 7-Eleven, and it's self-serve.

>>9314733
DON'T YOU TALK TOME WHITE BOY UNTIL I HAVE MY COFFE! I'M A REAL BITCH UNTIL I HAVE THAT FIRST SIP OF JOE IN THE MORNING KNOW

WHAT

I

AM

SAYING, GIRLFRIIIIIIIIIIEND?!

>>9307608
But they're missing out on the lucrative sperg market share!

>>9312431
This made my day. Thank you.