Mayonnaise Thread

>>9288679
dukes and weeb mayo

I'm addicted to tartar sauce, eat about a bottle a day

File: ShotType1_328x328.jpg (14KB, 328x328px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 328x328px

>>9288679
BUY POLISH MAYONNAISE

IT'S REALLY FUCKING GOOD

>>9288679
Found a simple recipe recently to make mayo when I ran out and didn't feel like running to the store. Actually turned out great and wasn't difficult to make. First for everything I suppose.

I'm not picky about mayo at all, I just grab the nearest store brand light. Only one I won't touch is Miracle Whip.

>>9288765
Well that's not mayonnaise silly

Great suggestions, I appreciate.

>>9288765
I've never had the light stuff, is the flavor good? Keep in mind that I couldn't give less of a shit about my health.

>>9288721
If only I lived near the poles. I'd be a fat motherfucker off those meat products.

>>9288716
Back at my uni dining halls I'd eat this shit fried ground up fish products just so I can eat tartar sauce. That stuff is gold.

>>9288680
I'll look into it. Hopefully my local grocery store isn't too poor to stock this.

>>9288876
You should be able to find dukes but kewpie japanese mayo you'll probably need to find an asian market for it

Just make your own.

One egg yolk, a heaped tsp of good(!) mustard, a pinch or two of salt, a tsp or more of fresh lemon juice, rape or sunflower seed oil (no olive oil, it will taste like ass in mayo), vinegar.

Mix egg, mustard, lemon juice and salt with whisk, then slowly and gradually add oil while you keep whisking the mix. The more oil you add the firmer it will get. Season to taste with vinegar at the end.

I exclusively use a hand whisk and start with all ingredients at room temperature. I have never had a batch that didn't come out perfect. I have no idea what people who get failed batches do wrong. The main things might be using the correct temperature, a hand whisk (not a blender) and adding the oil gradually.

>>9288927
Basically this, but I've never had a problem doing it in a blender, nor have I had problems with olive oil. You can also throw a few cloves of garlic in if you're using a blender.

>>9288927
>rape
sorry, i'll just buy it at the store. don't want to risk imprisonment just to make some mayo

File: 463468.jpg (55KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 600x600px

>>9288721

Kielecki is fine, fut this bad bod takes the cake.

File: P1250245_s.jpg (295KB, 540x547px) Image search: [Google]

295KB, 540x547px

why is it plastic and not Glass??

File: thermal_paste.gif (3MB, 332x332px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 332x332px

>>9288679
Hellmann's is my goto thermal paste.

File: gopniksealofapproval.jpg (27KB, 321x326px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 321x326px

>>9288721
>>9290614

>>9291189
why does it say "rape seed oil" on the bottom of the jar labels?

>>9291813
Also known as "canola oil."

File: 102246ee8aa5d03fe2326492c9747671.jpg (65KB, 600x428px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 600x428px

>>9291813
>>9291817

File: IMG_2171.jpg (56KB, 532x540px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 532x540px

reminder that if you are white you will be treated differently when it comes to mayonnaise

>be me
>waiting in line at my university cafeteria's sub place
>black girl in front of me asks for mayo
>is given a perfectly reasonable amount
>the black lady gets a hold of my sandwich
>whatchu want on it
lettuce, onions, and just a little bit of mayo please
>she puts on the lettuce
>she puts on the onions
>she then uses both hands to unleash a torrent of mayo that soaks the entirety of my sandwich
>it's now covered in what looks like that shitty cole slaw you get at the super market that's swimming in mayo
"is that enough?"

be aware. it happens every day, and it WILL happen to you.

File: rapeland.jpg (37KB, 652x365px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 652x365px

>>9291848

making your own is easy as shit. literally takes about a minute. only reason i don't do it by default is cause i live with my mum and every time she sees me using more than a tablespoon of oil to make anything she stages an intervention.

>>9288679

hellmans or bestfoods, depending on teh side of the rockies ur on, nothing else

none of that mayowhip bullshit and not kraft or any other brand, they all suck ass

File: 41wLfCC6iUL._SY400_.jpg (20KB, 254x400px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 254x400px

>>9293138
>any other brand, they all suck ass

So sorry you don't have access to Dukes. I pity you.

>>9293272

>1917

Helmenns started in 1913

>>9293284
>4 years later

Of course, perfection can't be hurried ;^)

>>9293272
One of the places near me just started selling Dukes.
Too eggy. Sticking to Hellmanns.

H O M E M A D E
O
M
E
M
A
D
E

>>9293995
>Too eggy

Wat? Probably just not sweet enough for your discerning palate. Hellmans tastes like Mrs. Butterworth pancake syrup compared to Dukes.

File: Michelin-chefs.jpg (171KB, 700x388px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 700x388px

>>9294005
>no industrial decontamination process

you might as well rim your favorite chicken's cloaca

>>9291472
My sides.

>>9291848
>>9292755

They changed the sign. I will never go home again.

The only patrician and acceptable answer to that question is Kraft Miracle Whip, sorry Hellmann's fanboys the verdict is in

File: mayonesa-con-limon-725-gr_x1.jpg.png (299KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

299KB, 800x600px

>>9288679

In Mexico there are 3 major brands you can find on every store, Hellmann's, Kraft and McCormick. I like the latter because it is ticker and has a more salty taste which goes well sandwiches and salads but only the regular lime juice one as the reduced fat version has a blander taste similar to regular Kraft.

>>9288680
This guy has it right.

Duke's or Kewpie. There is nothing else.

>>9294236
>JUST

>>9294197
Just ran a taste test.
A slice of bread cut into 1/3rd strips one with Dukes, one with Hellmanns, and one with kewpie.
Dukes was thicker, eggier, and sweeter than Hellmanns. Kewpie was sweeter than either, but middle ground everything else. Hellmanns was thinner than the other two, but more vinegary.

File: 65004319_lady_s_choice_real_mayonnaise_220ml_4808680021430_1.jpg (69KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 600x600px

never tasted other mayo other than this and kraft
kraft is so fucking bad desu

>>9294977
On closer examination the Hellmanns had also expired last month.
See you in the ER.