Jewish recipes

>>9252179
Matzo balls are the classic, another common dish is brisket, if you wanna get really ambitious you could try to make corned beef or pastrami.

>>9252194

Did you get lost on your way to /pol/?

>>9252224

I have ordered some Matzo Meal, hopefully I can find a decent recipe. Brisket sounds doable too, but I doubt I have the skill for corned beef etc. Cheers for the suggestions.

>>9252249
For matzo balls you also need chicken fat, for the brisket my family has recipe using onion soup mix that's pretty good I don't have it exactly but you could probably find it.

>>9252234
>implying you have to be /pol/ in order to hate kikes.

>>9252179
You can't go wrong with a roast chicken. I think traditional jewish recipes incorporate lots of garlic. Honestly if I were cooking a meal for my Jewish family I would do a roast chicken, a fruit dish, some kind of vegetable kugel, and maybe a challah

>>9252179
Can't go wrong with a decently prepared brisket...follow that up with an overtly outragious bill for the dinner...the jews will feel right at home...

>>9252179
Definitely get a challah

>>9252179
you need the blood of a vigrin boy taken on a full moon
thats the secret to jewish food

>>9252179

Why would you want to make Jewish food for them? They are Jews, they eat that shit all the time. Also, you won't get the recipe right for the first time most probably, so you are giving them inferior food as well. Try something that is not too extreme from your area, maybe make something international for a backup.

>>9252334
Make sure he's Palestinian

>>9252272
So true

A baby's forskin served in its own blood sauce

>>9252354

I did think this initially. But the gf seems to think it will be well recieved. It's just for the first night, then it's over to the less extreme local fayre.

Great suggestions, from people. Thanks!

>>9252179
You should make crab cakes and pork rolls.

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>>9252683

Whatever you're making, be sure to incorporate pork and shellfish, Jews love that stuff. But don't tell them until after they've eaten. Makes for an extra pleasant surprise!

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Well, looks like this thread turned out just like you expected since you had 2 ideal /pol/tard triggers: jews and gf.

For an appetizer, I'd suggest lox with lavash, chopped boiled egg, onions and capers. It's salmon season so you could cure a wildcaught sockeye fillet in 24 hours and make your own lavash. I have recipes for both, but since this is just a /pol/tard bait thread, I doubt I'll post them.

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>>9252179
You should tell them that there will be bacon at your house.

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Your salad, sir.

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Bagels

>>9252179
are they observant? if, so are you going to kasher your kitchen? are all ingredients kosher certified?

Roast chicken is the simplest and best option. I personally hate matzah but it does fit well into the dinner plan. I think the best dessert would be a simple fruit salad.

>>9252834
It's called smoked salmon and Armenian bread.

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>>9252179
>they are Jews
>I want to surprise them

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>>9252179
Jews would expect their guest to dish out the finest, they're modern but traditionalists at heart. I made a list for you, pick what you feel comfortable preparing for them.
Shrimp & lobster
BBQ some burgers, but don't be a cheapass, melt some cheese on every burger and make sure there's bacon ontop melted into the cheese
Mussels as appetizers
Pork chops
Crabs
Steak, get some good quality steak, slather it in butter before grilling and after, jews love fatty foods, they love schmaltz
and one final thing, slather everything in real butter, no cheap mass produced super market brand butter or margarine.

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>>9252194
>>9252334
>>9252358
>>9252674
>>9252683
>>9252733
>>9252739
>>9252762
>>9252923
>>9252941
>>9252961
>>9254634
>>9254885

You can always count on the redneck humor to be not funny.

Pic from Sammy's in NYC.

>>9254904
I'm in NYC you hick!

>>9254904
>redneck humor
I wonder who's the retard in this equation lmao

>>9254904
Wrong. Sarge's Deli goy.

>>9254955

Fuck off back to >>>/pol/

>>9254961
Fuck off back to >>>/Reddit/

>>9254904
its actually a historic reference but you can always count on liberal pseudo intelectuals not to get them

I recommend that you make a normal dish that does not use matzoh - jewish people hate matzoh! they are forced into eating this for a fucking month every year! make things that can be made with normal ingredients like latkes, google "kosher style". In my experience Jewish people just eat the same dishes, just no pork products and no dairy cooked with meat (so you cannot butter fry onions for a beef brisket soup for example).

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>>9255008
This, I'm israelie and matzah is balls out disgusting. Try for some Jachnun if it's on Saturday, it's delicious and not hard to make (requires overnight cooking though).

>>9252330
>>9255008
Also completely forget this! Challa will be important. Maybe some salad too, but try for a more israelie style (most families I know go bell pepper, tomatoes, cucumber, little bit of parsley. Top with lemon juice and salt and a little bit of olive oil.)

>>9252834

You've been on here too long, you've become hypervigilent.

Why does this have to be /pol/bait? It was intended to be /ck/ bait, for actual recipes. I've happened to catch a few /pol/acks whilst I'm fishing. So what? It's to be expected, I'm ignoring it. Seen it all before.

Having a gf with Jewish friends is a perfectly reasonable scenario. If I wanted to Jew bait /pol/ I'd go to /pol/. Nothing gets them going more.

Post the recipes please.

>>9255008

I've noted the Matzoh thing, Cheers.

Some good suggestions. Plenty to look in to.

>>9255205
>Why does this have to be /pol/bait?

1) Every "jew" thread is polbait.
2) The question doesn't even make any sense. Why would a visitor want to eat a poorly-made imitation of "home food". Fuck no, you serve visitors whatever is local/special to your area.

>>9252179
don't spend too much

>>9254961
Youre on the wrong side of the internet Shlomo.
(Most jewish food is basically palestinian food or eastern europe food they just straight up said "this is jewish food now" just like their names in hollywood and back in the day in germany)

>>9255205
Because you are a retard for wanting to make jewish food for jewish people when they come.
For what fucking reason, they know jewish food.
Just serve whats regional, in season and is a classic food of the area.

Fucking mong,

Also, letting jews into your household, this time and year.
dumb

>>9255219
OP is a cuck.

>>9255219

Fucking this. Nobody on vacation wants to eat a poorly-made imitation of what they normally eat. Get your guests something new and different. Make whatever YOU cook well, or whatever is special in your area.

>>9255209

You obviously have never tried to make anybody feel welcome or learn anything new.

Keep your poorly made shit to yourself. I happen to be an excellent cook. Might not be like their family homecooking, but It's for one night only and I'd like to learn. The rest of the time we're eating local.

>>9255239
You are seriously the most estrogent ridden poster ive seen in a while, i cant put my finger on it but every letter you write oozes numale with glasses and flanell shirt,

>>9255032

Thank you. Not too different from a salad I make anyway. Sounds nice!

Jewish food = arab food

Basically the same with a few differences.

Fuck Israeli food, eastern europe jewish food is where its at.

>>9255239
>You obviously have never tried to make anybody feel welcome

You don't need to attempt to approximate home to make people feel welcome. You can extend hospitality without trying to copy home. And speaking as someone who travels a lot, the LAST thing I want is for someone to make me "home". Make what you like, not what you think I want.

>>or learn anything new.
You can experiment with learning new cuisines without serving them to your guests.

>>I happen to be an excellent cook.
Nobody was insinuating you weren't. The point is:
1) Even if you're an amazing cook, your first time making new food is likely to be mediocre. Why foist that upon a guest?
2) The last thing a guest would want is the same food as home. Cook them one of your personal dishes--something they'd only get from you.

>>9255247

Might be because I'm female. Biologically.

Muh degenerates.

>>9255202
Huh? Never heard of that. Matzah is bad because it's flavorless and hard. Matzah Ball soup is delicious, and Matzah Briach too, but why would you make then when it's not Passover?

>>9252272
this

>>9254904
>im not jewish but im offended on their behalf
ty anonymous liberal hero

>>9255260

Some decent points. I might just make something local and ask the wife if she'd mind showing me how to make something.

>>9255247

Did you just assume OP's gender! :O

Ruuuuuuuuuuuun!

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I really like cabbage rolls, but I hate how long they take to make them right. I can get them down to 4 hours, but not any quicker. Also, they're a bit insuffereable to make in the heat.

https://motherwouldknow.com/jewish-stuffed-cabbage/

>>9255268
google "blood libel" idk why it is such an enduring bullshit bait.

>>9255507
>>>/pol/ >>>/x/

Latkes are always a hit and super easy once you get the hang of it. The key is really getting as much moisture as possible out of the potatoes before forming the batter. They also give the advantage of being able to customize to your cooking style. I think it's always cool to cook one of the classics and put your own personal spin on it.

Brisket is also pretty easy. It's always better smoked but a slow oven roast sliced thin on rye is just fine too.

>>9252179
...Seriously? No one? I guess its up to me.

OY VEY GOYIM.

>>9255239
The Jews, they love Chinese FOOD, make them some Chinese food or just order Chinese take-out.

>>9255205
Ok, I'll post the recipes for lox and lavash.

Lox
2 very fresh sockeye salmon side, pin bones removed
1 cup kosher salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 bunch fresh dill
Grated lemon peel
Mix salt and sugar. Coat both sides of each filet rubbing it in. Sprinkle lemon peel over one side of each filet. Lay dill on one filet. Cover with other filet. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Put in shallow container with a few pounds weight on top (canned goods, beans in a plastic bag, etc.). Keep in refrigerator 24 hours. Rinse well and slice very thinly. If you have the setup you can cold smoke it, but it's excellent without smoking. You can do only 1 filet, just halve the salt and sugar.

Lavash
14 oz AP flour
1/4 cup sesame seeds
1 tsp salt
1 egg
2 Tbs melted butter
2/3 cups water
Mix salt, sesame seeds and flour. Add egg, butter and water. Mix until it comes together. Knead 4 minutes. Cover and rest 30 minutes while preheating oven to 375F. Roll out strips as thin as you'd like (I like a thin cracker like consistency so I roll out to 4 on my pasta machine) and place on lightly oiled cookie sheets. Bake 16-18 minutes until lightly browned like my previous pic.

>>9256408

Brilliant. Cheers for sharing, I'll keep these handy.

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Can't go wrong with some challah bread and schmaltz.

>>9256542
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHA

dipshit

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>>9252272
So you're a Muslim then?

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>>9255032
Here's an actual recipe. I got it from my grandmother. She's not Jewish but she has a lot of jew friends.

Pic related, it's one of my attempts at this recipe.

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>>9258257
Dammit, forgot the recipe.

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus
1 (2 tsp) package dry yeast
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 tablespoon salt
1/3 cup sugar
1 cup warm water (80 -90)
Glaze: 1 egg, beaten

Directions:

1. First measure out all your ingredients.
2. Now from the 1/3 of cup sugar take 1 tablespoon of the sugar & combine it with the yeast & warm water (you know you have the right temperature of warm water when it's warn to the touch). This is called "proofing the yeast"
3. After the yeast has dissolved (it's nice & foamy) add to it the rest of the sugar, salt & 1 1/2 cups flour.
4. Mix well.
5. Add egg (already beaten) & oil.
6. Slowly start mixing in most of the remaining flour. The dough will become quite thick. When the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl, turn it onto a floured surface & knead for approximately 10 minute.
7. Add only enough additional flour to make dough manageable. Knead until dough is smooth & elastic, springing back when pressed lightly with your fingertip.
8. Place dough into a large oiled bowl turning the dough once so its oiled on all sides.
9. Cover with a damp towel & let rise in a warm place for 2 hours, punching down in 4-5 places every 20 minutes. After the 2 hours, turn your dough onto your working surface.
10. Prepare your baking sheet by oiling it.
Preheat oven to 375ḞF.
11. Next, cut the dough into thirds.
Roll each third out till its about 10-12 inches (I'm guessing I never measured it) & loosely braid all 3 roll together pinching the top & bottom half together& turning them slightly under.
12. Place on baking sheet.
13. Now let the challah rise for 1/2 an hour or until approx. doubled.
14. After the challah has risen glaze with beaten egg.
15. Put in preheated oven & let bake for exactly 25 minutes. Turn off oven and let sit in oven for exactly 10 min or 200 deg on insta read thermometer.
16. Remove from oven.

source: http://www.food.com/recipe/famous-challah-90765#ixzz1unFzuNat

>>9258257
>>9258264

That recipe sounds pretty good and the cross section looks alright. But braid that shit or else you look like a goy.

>>9258341
Normally I do but I made a loaf that time because I made BLTs with it. I have no pics of my braided loaves though.

>>9252179
>this whole thread
>no one suggests Bacon Cheeseburgers

honestly i'm not sure if i'm proud or disapointed

its basically eastern euro food but also try makin em matzo brei

real comfort food shit right there