Cooking with Satan

Okay.

I generally hate your threads, but this one has potential.

>not using a crinkle cutting tool to make waffle fries

you had one job OP

>>9074972
Are you going to cook them in the microwave?

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>>9074972
Well, at least he's not deep frying in olive oil.

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>>9075020
>>9075026
extra virgin olive oil. but you all already knew that

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>>9075047
I knew it was coming. I don't know why I even said it.
Well, Satan, I suggest garlic and pepper on those chips when you pull them. Should go well with the olive taste.

>>9075047
doesnt EVOO burn or something? pont close

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>>9075073
just salt.
and i dont know why everyone thinks olive oil imparts a strong taste on what it's fried in

>>9075084
Depends on the oil. The smoke point of EVOO can apparently vary anywhere from 320F to 405F, and most deep frying is done at 350F.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoke_point

>>9074972
>>9075073
they are called crisps .

>>9075102
maybe in whatever shitty country you are in.
in the US they are called potato chips

>>9075102
You are called a faggot.

I like frying my taters with onions.

>>9075102
Kek maybe in poor countries.

made some turkey soup too

>>9075102
Hello, Ahmed.

>>9075102
How are you coping with the invasion?

>>9076414
>>9076458

Back to /pol, pls.

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>>9076469

>>9076469
Yes, people from /pol/ ought go back where they came from and stick with their own kind.

>>9074972

I searched the catalog yesterday for "Satan" and did not get any results and it made me very sad.

I thought about making a blog post about it, but I know how that upsets the sensitive types around here.

Today the catalog returns greatness!

Long live the catalog.

Long live reddit spacing.

Long live Satan.

>>9075087
Were they crisp like crisps should be? Those look soggy.

>>9076504
wtf is reddit?

>>9076811

I'm sorry, my responses are limited. You must ask the right questions.

>>9075087
>>9075102
they are called a shit ass pile of soggy oil and grease judging from the picture

He's obviously new to cooking and didn't know you were suppose to flick them in the grease one by one.

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>>9076828
>>9076828
let me know how that works out for you in a large batch. originally i tried it that way.

>>9076850
>I'm fucking lazy.

>take a plate
>put a little oil on it
>put thin potato slices on it, but only one layer at a time
>a bit salt
>microwave it for ~5-10 minutes
> homemade, non-soggy potato chips

I think you could use a lightly greased baking sheet and the oven as well

>>9076882
thats the stupid shit you do when you dont have a deep fryer.

>>9076882

Why bother when the deep fryer is faster, less work, and provides a better texture?

can u make ice soup??

>>9076886
>>9076887

I have a deep fryer, but it's not that huge.
I tried it, and all I got was a soggy, greasy, with fat dripping potato-amalgam because they stick together while frying.

Also the smell of deep fried something sticks for hours

>>9076901
you have to move them around while they are frying, retard

>>9076906
can't. We only have a 20€ piece of shit with some shitty "safety automatic".
As long as it's open, it won't heat

>>9076915
i bought mine for $10 at a thrift store.
what cuck country do you live in?

>>9076906
This. That wasn't the fault of the fryer, that was operator error.

Don't overload the fryer, and keep the chips moving around while they're cooking. That way they all cook evenly.

If you just dump a bunch of chips in then the outside ones will cook but the ones in the middle of the resulting ball will be raw and soggy.

>>9076920
Take a guess

"Hurr, we need safety provisions for everything"
"Everything's measured in every detail"
"Our history is the worst and we are still guilty because of that"
"What could go wrong with letting thousands of illiterate, middle-aged men in?"

>>9076929
cant tell which euro shithole you are in. thats why i asked.

before i found this deep fryer i just used the tub and basket from another and put it directly on an induction burner.

>>9076929
oh wait. is your history the worst because hitler failed?

>>9076937

Germany. Fucking Germany.
No matter where you look, everywhere is some "jew awareness exhibition".
"Remember the 6 gorillion" is maybe just a meme on /pol/, but sad truth here.
You can't do anything fun because it's either expensive as shit or prohibited.

The local cultures are pretty nice, tho

>>9076942
Don't ask me. I think our history is pretty great, except the part where we lost the war and everything afterwards. The splitting in west/east-germany was a retarded thing to do

>>9075102
typical backwards bongs

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>>9076929
Lol fucking doucheland.

I have a deep fryer it's literally a metal bucket with a heating element in the bottom, no controls or anything, if it's plugged in it's on lol. Also the lid is just a thin plastic thing, it would melt if it were on when heated up.

Fuck safety and shit lmao.

>fryers

Just use a dutch oven with a spider.

Fuck you satan you faggot

>>9076959
you have no idea how I envy countries like russia and amerika because of this shit.
If someone dies there because he's too dumb to do the thing then it's no big deal, but when someone here even gets remotely close to the possibility of dying the producer of the thing can go into insolvency

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i set the oven to 300 instead of max for the bread. came out gummy

>>9077017
You, sir, disgust me

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>>9077025
perfection

>>9077033
no, not because of the combination of whatever this is.
Looks like mortadella and mayonnaise to me which can be pretty decent, especially if you're low on time.
My problem is that you are apparently unable to bake/heat up/whatever a proper bread.
Other than that, this "Sandwich" looks pretty tasty

>>9077017
>bologna
Is this a meme?

>>9077042
mortadella ??? are you fucking blind?

>>9077048
I'm sorry, I was focused on the meat in the foreground. After a thorough inspection of your image, I came to the conclusion that it is indeed mortadella

>>9077053
you went a tad too far with the b8

>>9077056
I don't know much about the bread cuisine in your country, but after everything I know, mortadella and bologna seems to be the same

>>9077060
mortadella has cubes of pork fat. bologna does not

Friend of mine sliced up some sweet potato and baked them in the oven. Some of them were crispy but some of them were a sort of rubbery-soggy. What did he do wrong, and how can we make them all crispy via baking?

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>>9077075
>mortadella has cubes of pork fat
what the fuck? Mortadella (at least here) looks like pic related

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>>9077085
derr

>>9077075

When I was deployed with the 101st Airborne out of Fort McCulluh, deployment of multiple weapons systems teams was my specialty in the command chain.... but so was close range bologna recognition!

Sirs, I can confirm that Satan has prepared a bologna sandwich at this time. Mortadella has not been spotted in this area of operation.

>>9077093
>>9077096
Then I may excuse myself and put the blame on the german language, wich is great for naming own things, but terrible with other cultures

>>9077083
>Friend of mine

hahahahhaa sure.

>>9077106
im watching das boot rn.
looks great in 1080p
needs english subtitiles

>>9077118
The movie or the TV series?

If you're hardcore you'd be watching the TV series.

>>9077110
Srsly srs. He's also my neighbor. I think he did them in the oven at 300. I propositioned maybe trying it at 200 for a longer time, but I figured I'd get a second opinion from this thread since it's relatable.

>>9077141
the movie. i shall get the tv series too

>>9077141
>>9077149
there's a fucking tv series?!
since when?
I know of two books and the movie

i shall make fries now

its the uncut version. 3.5 hrs
>>9077141

>>9077153
>there's a fucking tv series?!
>since when?

They're basically the same thing, except the TV series is a lot longer. When they shot the movie they had a massive amount of footage and had to do a lot of editing when making the movie. They released the TV miniseries as sort of an "unedited" full-length version.

The original movie is 2.5 hours. The miniseries and the "original uncut version" are double that.

>>9077201

You're talking about the director's cut, not the uncut version. Uncut version is just under 5 hours.

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>incredibly boring thread
>lame community
>name-fag attention whore

>>9077551
and you helped out so much, frogposting faggot

>>9077549
damn. i shoulda got the uncut

>>9077551
Fuck off frog faggot, we worship satan here.

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>>9077551

>>9075087
>and i dont know why everyone thinks olive oil imparts a strong taste on what it's fried in

Because it does, unless you're using fake olive oil that has no flavour in the first place.

Also, there's nothing wrong with the oil flavouring what you're cooking, if that's what you intend. Deep frying in EVOO can be amazing with the right dishes.

>>9076953
>You can't do anything fun because it's either expensive as shit or prohibited.
What the fuck were you going to do?
Germany isn't that bad, people who say otherwise are usually just altright faggots trying to victimize themselves

>>9077085
I think in german Mortadella has a different meaning

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>>9075102
fuck off you crooked tooth eurofaggot

>>9075102
You better watch what you say British faggot. Its illegal to write hateful things and speak freely in your country now.

>see a namefag thread
>expect namefag to be hated
>posts okay content
Not bad. It seems /ck/ has gotten less autistic. Step up your oc game Satan.

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>>9079629

>>9079656
>that knife
Leave until you get your own knife/an actually decent knife. Especially if you're going to be tearing up meat with it

>>9079662
why would you assume its not my knife?
do you even know what kinda knife it is?

>>9079669
It's a pretty shitty one
That handle looks slippy and cheap, and the finger guard only benefits you if you are gripping it to chop wood or some other heavy task that requires a racket grip
steel looks beaten, not very well maintained and poor quality. Probably a decent budget knife, but not something any cook with self respect or ambition would be using

>>9079662
Post some better OC yourself or fuck off, cunt.

>>9079681
i keep it sharp and it works fine. i just throw it in the dishwasher. it was like $18

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>>9079693
No problem I'll get some pics up in a couple of minutes once I find a camera
>>9079694
>mfw knife in dishwasher

>>9079701
Looking forward to seeing your thread with your cooking in it.
You weren't just going to take pictures of your knives after all, right?

>>9079701
yep. i used to buy knives with wooden handles. then switched to plastic cause they got fucked up in the dishwasher

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>>9079706
Sorry these are the best pics I could take with my phone.
Masamoto HC I've had for a few years. Real workhorse of the prepwork I do day to day
Little drunk right now, but earlier today I put a near mirror polish on the blade bevel. I only polish off the patina with a bit of steel wool every couple of months because I don't like scratching off the paint in the etchings.
It's held up pretty well due mostly in part to the fact I don't cut too much acidic shit day in and day out. That's mostly left to the masakage petty (unpictured as I left in the kitchen) which is better for the fine cutting work we do with the tomatoes and all of that stuff.

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>>9079749
Best pic of the polish I could get
Done on a shitty old worn out king 6000 after a handful of passes

>>9079757
nobody cares, faggot

>>9079777
>wah wah I can't afford a good knife or cook good food
>Wah wah somebody with better equipment and more skill posted something better call him a faggot that'll show him

>>9079785
I can afford any knife. I dont like to waste money

>>9079757

Looks good, but a high polish on a knife that needs to gets through veg is a no no. Leave your blade with an ugly micro serration to get through skin.

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>>9079793
You mean
>I don't have the cooking skill necessary or dilligence to care for a knife that costs more than the pocket change I scrounge up after buying gallons of olive oil for deep frying
>>9079796
Gets through skin like it's paper buddy even when I'm drunk and tired

tomato was extra ripe and I pressed it down to spread the cuts out. There was very little leakage after the initial cutting though just fyi

>>9079817
i paid $1 a bottle for the olive oil

>>9079823
Why don't you use those savings to buy a real knife then?
You could also buy some online cooking lessons with all that money too probably.

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>>9075087
for the same price you could have driven tot he store and bought a bag of potato chips.

>>9079785
>more skill
Fucktard posted two snapshits of a knife even though he was specifically told to post cooking or fuck off. Nobody here cares if you have an expensive knife, faggot. Make your own thread and show that you can actually cook or shut the fuck up.

>>9079867
" OMG CUZ U DON'T OWN A SAMURAI MEAT KNIFE, U CAN'T COOK FOR SHIT! WAAA WAAA I'M A BETTER COOK CUZ I BUY 100 DOLLAR WEABOO KNIVES WITH REEEL JAPANESE SHIT ON EM! "

> doesn't post oc shit.

Kill yourself, nigger.

>>9081082
>>9083210
>I love satans shitty olive oil frying so much I can't stand other people criticizing his equipment or cooking skill
Honestly I'd post some OC, but y'all are so stuck on your mcchickens and olive oil deep fried potato chips that I'd rather not :).
Gonna go polish my japanese virgin steel gyuto folded over 10000 times now since I'm off of work. Enjoy your satan drivel.

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>>9079817
>i'm so btfo i am going to take a picture and rename it tomato1.jpg


What a tremendous faggot. no one cares about your shitty weeb knives and your kawaii polishing stones desu

fuck the fuck off


>>9079796
>Leave your blade with an ugly micro serration to get through skin.

This guy gets it.

>>9076498
Oh wow she had nice tits.

>>9083611
I don't love the guy's cooking and you should feel free to criticise it all you want.
But you were just being an autist and bragging about buying, not using, a nicer knife than his.
If you want to gearfag without producing any OC I recommend /g/ or /p/

>>9074972
you are the definition of autism, literally everything you cook is rectangular. Don't even try to prove me wrong because you know I'm right. You will some how mash those potatoes up into something rectangular. Also, why the fuck would you waste to much oil AT HOME when you can just buy chips, or just literally BAKE thin cut potatoes and achieve the same thing with much less money spent while being much healthier.

>>9083863
He already said he got the oil cheaply.
Besides, you can use it more than once. This is the cooking board, you know. A few of us just enjoy cooking things instead of buying them in plastic bags.

>>9083886
>he got the oil cheaply
OK? a vat of oil is not cheaper than buying a bag of chips or baking chips that taste better than that monstrosity he pulled out of his vat.

>You can use it more than once
good luck.

>A few of us enjoy cooking things instead of buying them in plastic bags.
A they are aluminum bags,
B I said to bake them rather than being a little bitch and wasting money to fry them.
C learn to read

>>9083611
folding steel does not make it stronger. it was a method of removing impurities from substandard nip steel.
steel is not folded in modern practices.

>>9083863
>implying oil is unhealthy

i shall make retangular potato pancakes in your honor

>>9083901

i dont need luck. i filter it and refrigerate it until next use

>aluminum bags
enjoy your Alzheimer's

>>9083611
Your knife isn't the only thing thats a virgin

>>9079681
>i've never worked in food service and used victorinox knives

ok dude.. they work fine though

>>9083901
one potato and a dollar jug of oil: 1.03 for the amt of chips he made, can make them any flavor, nice and hot

bag of plain lay's: 3$ or something

i mean like, whatever dude, you have your preferences, can you swing your dick around somewhere else

>>9086428
probably used 1/10 a bottle for the chips. the oil gets filtered and reused

>>9075102
Lemon sucking Fog-breather go cook some food for your mandatory Syrian house "Guest"

>>9086434
i know dude. i know. i'm agreeing with you. shh.

>>9076929
This is clearly Germany

>>9076469
*/bant/

>>9083863
You know you can re-use deep frying oil, right? Just filter it. Also, baked potato chips don't taste nearly as good.

>131 replies
>must be some cooking going on itt
>two shitty pics of crisps and a sliced tomato
>anger everywhere
>le who get the best knife battle
Wew lads

I'm here to tell you chaps about some neat food combinations by mr t. signature chef. Make these happen please satan.

Watermelon
Salmon
Avocado
Peas

I call it the WASP cause it fucks you no matter what you try to do. get on it.

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muay authentico

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>>9076498
That filename.

I didn't laugh cause I have a really painful canker sore but I found your post to be really funny.

>>9075087
If you're doing a proper frying job, you would have to get the oil hot enough to get it crisp without frying it. Unfortunately for olive oil it doesn't have a high enough smoke point for that, which in turn makes it bitter.

Looks like you barely fried that shit at a decent heat, so it probably doesn't fuck your oil up.

>>9091535
360f
plenty hot enough

>>9077017
>Bar S..

Holy fucking ghetto.

>>9089845
Thank you for the image, got something out of this thread now

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>>9074972

>>9088335
>those "tacos"
Also that tomato looks beyond disgusting.