Cooking with Satan

You're my idol.

You're an unfunny idiot.

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nummy

Satan please post a soundtrack for this thread.

just to like, complete the experience.

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>>9050546

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If you want attention and recognition for your xD wacky stunts xD then simply make a Reddit account.

>>9050557
eating beef stew is a wacky stunt??

>>9050559
8 month old clearly is.

Namefags gotta get attention somehow.

>>9050564
the time is really not a factor whatsoever

>>9050567
If "beef stew" isn't a wacky stunt, and if the age doesn't matter, then what's the purpose of your posts at all?

Gotta keep racking up those "yous", right?

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>>9050573
just showing the beef stew i made.

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moar protien

>>9050557
>not knowing what canned food is

>>9050661
>>canning food with that much headspace

>Some faggot dumps a bunch of random gross-looking food into a pot
>"Mmm, delicious"
>Three redditors spamming reaction images
>This all gets put into an unreadable screencap that will be posted for reddit clout and then in every future /ck/ thread in between Jack webms

>>9050668
headspace is before the food is canned. not after....

>this fucking guy with his olive oil deep fryer
>"getting dickered" fag with his cat walking on every surface cooking extremely generic food
>endless reposted stale memes
/ck/ is shit these days

>>9050709
>too poor to buy olive oil

>>9050709
>not liking dickered guy

Go fuck yourself

>>9050691

Yeah, I get that. So you canned the food some time ago. Then you ate some of it out of the jar (but not the whole jar). Now you're going back and eating the rest of it?

>>9050557
>>9050564
>>9050573

Please go back to the fast food threads. Adults are discussing food here. Also, I dont need your weeb shit fucking up my reddit and imgur screen caps, which you can't stop me from making, posting, curating, and enjoying.

You are cancer and you need to limit your activity on this Finnish wire transfer system to lurking and swift inquiry posts.

>>9050729
no dude. there was half inch of headspace before i canned it. use your brain

>>9050709
fuck you
those 2 and dinotendies are the only fucking thing keeping /ck/ alive.

>>9050733
Yeah, I get that. I'm wondering why there is so much more space now.

What happened between canning and the pic you took? Because the headspace seems to have mysteriously grown, but not by an amount consistent with eating a serving.

>>9050681
This

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>>9050681
since when is beef stew gross?

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>>9050504
Satan!!!

I got b& for a bit for posting healthy food on the /ck that the mods and fat necked tards just couldn't kenendle. They thought I was trolling even though I was just eating healthy like always. Can't kenedle my hendles, if you know what I mean... Fucking fat ass, fast food, piece of shit, future cancer cases around here...

I missed you more than anything else on the /ck. Here is a whole wheat sour dough pizza crust you inspired me to make. It was $$$$$.

>>9050746
it shrinks when you can it you fucking moron

>>9050757
Can I visit your house.

>>9050753

When it's that poorly made. The veggies appear to be overcooked and mushy. The stew looks very liquidy rather than having some texture to it. The color suggests you didn't add any wine, and I don't see any herbs in there.

I'm guessing that:
1) you didn't bother to brown off the meat first
2) you didn't use a good homemade stock
3) no wine
4) no herbs
5) you didn't skim it very well
6) you put the carrots in at the beginning of cooking

How many did I get right?

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>>9050759

No. I am not in the habit of having "4channers" over as guests and I don't think ill start now.

>>9050766
it was raw packed pressure canned. so you got nothing right.

>>9050767
>4channers
you have to go back

>>9050775
>it was raw packed pressure canned

That implies I got 1, 5, and 6 correct.
You didn't bother to address 2, 3, or 4.
So, let me repeat my questions:
2) Did you use a good homemade stock before you canned it?
3) Did you add wine before you canned it?
4) Did you add herbs before you canned it?

I'm guessing "no" to all 3.

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>>9050778

Thanks for posting that again.

>>9050787
you dont can herbs....

>>9050787
Fuck off faggot. There is more than one way to make food. Go make some dank memes or something on pinterest.

>>9050790
OK, so I got 4 correct as well.

You're forgetting to answer 2 and 3. I'll repeat them again since you seem to be having problems answering them:

2) Did you add a good homemade stock before you canned it?
3) Did you add wine before you canned it?

>>9050806
why would you add a stock to stew? do you add a stock to soup too?

>>9050806
you should kill yourself

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>>9050775
As someone who pressure cans, my worshipful fallen angel, you prepare the stew by going through all the steps you normally would when making a stew. Brown your meat, saute your aromatics, add spices and herbs and other vegetables and wine/stock heat to a boil and ladle into jars. Don't just dump raw stuff into the jars.

>>9050813
>why would you add a stock to stew?

Flavor. Texture from the gelatin, and it provides the liquid that the other ingredients are braised in.

>>do you add a stock to soup too?
Not all soups, but most of them, yes. For the same reasons as above.

I'm guessing that since you STILL haven't actually answered those questions the answer is "no" to both of them, so it seems like I was 100% correct on all 6 of my guesses.

Anyway, that answers the question you posed earlier. Beef stew isn't gross in general. But it's really gross when you fuck it up this badly.

>>9050817
Why? I'm not the one fucking up a simple discussion by ignoring very simple questions.

>>9050806
Hey faggot Reddit has a cooking forum

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>>9050843
you're annoying, you post like a fag, and you somehow feel superior because of your beef stew.

this image is literally you

>>9050852
I wouldn't have to post like a fag if OP would simply answer the questions he was posed.

Lol at Irish Stew Guy Copypasta.

I'm not trying to be pedantic here, I'm answering OP's question, and discussing the basic points of stewmaking that just about any cookbook from any nation would cover. This is basic shit man, not a carefully worded copypasta designed to get a reaction from people.

>>9050868
>Lol at
fuck off faggot. sad loser phoneposting faggot

>>9050868
>discussing the basic points of stewmaking

You wanna know how I know you're gay?

>>9050876
I don't even own a smartphone.

>>9050881
NO I WILL NOT LET YOU SUCK MY DICK

>>9050504
B O T U L I S M
O
T
U
L
I
S
M

>>9050901
nah. i killed all of that in the canning process

>>9050824
raw pack is far easier. plus i dont wanna eat the same fucking thing everytime. i add seasoning when i reheat it.

>>9050960
100010100001101101010000

Quads of truth.

>>9050940
Not only that but botulism toxin would be rendered inert after reheating. My Canned smoked salmon in my pic doesn't have that secondary defense because I generally eat it straight from the can. I'm still confident enough in my canning to do that, and if worse comes to worse and I meet you and Mephistopheles a fraction of a second (relative to eternity) earlier, I won't be crying about it.

>>9051182
no. the botulism toxin is not killed during reheating.
reheating does not reach 240f

boiling does not kill botulism

>>9050787
man what the fuck is wrong with you

>>9050758
Damn man sorry ;_;

>>9050573
fuck off back to your fast food thread. plz go.

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>>9050732
>Also, I dont need your weeb shit
?

>>9050758
i can my own stew and it doesn't have half that much head space and it doesn't look 1/10th as disgusting

are you sure you did it correctly?

>>9050557
Hilarious you think this is a new practice, almost like you're from r/thedonald and think all of 4chan is /pol/!
No u

>>9050709
Yea man we totally need more McChicken and Ja/ck/ threads rather than people actually cooking food.

>>9051356
You sound like a total bitch irl

>>9051347

He thinks weeb is the same thing as anime. Get the fuck out, baka!

>>9050709
Ur the sausage guy aren't you

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>>9051351
>>9051351
>not knowing what raw pack canning is

>>9050573
>>>9050567
>If "beef stew" isn't a wacky stunt, and if the age doesn't matter, then what's the purpose of your posts at all?
>Gotta keep racking up those "yous", right
You're falling for it. Here, have a (You)

>>9050709
>"these days"
>getting mad at OC
We don't need more Jack and fast food threads. Satan's threads are decent. You can also make your own high quality threads instead of funposting in others.

>>9051451
>using untested, inferior result producing, prepper methods for canning stew
gross dude. why bother?

>>9050681
Hey man, I'm cool with the jack webms.

>>9051470
the results are better with raw pack

>>9051536
god dude why dont you just make confit if you like icky looking shit so much. It's way tastier anyways

>>9051536
obviously not unless the result you're going for is rotten looking, shriveled up puke

and when you raw pack you're still supposed to add liquid for processing: http://nchfp.uga.edu/how/general/ensuring_HQ_canned_foods.html

>>9050557
>>9050709
I know, right? Fuck these people cooking on the cooking board. Who the hell do they think they are?

>>9051293
Pressure cooking at 240F for the appropriatre times kills botulism bacteria. The botulism toxin is rendered inert after boiling.

Botulism toxin becomes an issue from low oxygen environments where the food isn't cooked. That's why dry cured sausage is the latin root of the word - uncooked low oxygen environment. Be careful out there!

>>9051615
i know. thats exactly what i said

>>9051637
lol no it's not, you dumb fuck

>>9051705
oh wait. you're right. botulism is not rendered inert after boiling

>>9051717
you're confusing terms all over the place because you have a weak understanding of what you're doing

botulism is the sickness caused by the the toxin produced by the bacteria

the toxin is rendered inert after boiling.

>>9051733
botulism spores are not killed by boiling

>>9051733
That's precisely what I said here >>9051615. Fucking amazing people are home pressure canning and they don't understand the fucking basics.

>>9051744
botulism spores aren't a thing
c. botulinum spores are ubiquitous and won't hurt you

>>9051745
i wasn't arguing with you. just condensing it for dummies

>>9051744
>botulism spores aren't killed by boiling

No shit, that's what everyone has already agreed about and why you have to pressure can. You seem too fucking dense to realize the difference between the toxin and the bacteria.

>mfw satan is so fucking stupid I might have to join the evangelicals

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>>9051755

I'm still on Team Satan.

NIN sucks ass though.

>defending attention whore name and tripfags

wew

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>>9051866

>>9050620
what the fuck dude

what a gross display of ignorance

shameful

>>9050620
cmon.

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>>9052770

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>>9050500
Just stop.

>>9053538
do you have a point to make or are you just shitflinging?

those do taste nearly exactly the same as the Heinz in the teal blue can.

Is it the term "pork" in the title that's triggering your spergbrain? Don't worry about it. The "pork" is so small you'd need a magnifying glass to find it. There is no pork flavor in those beans.

>>9052539
Thought that was a Sonnerad. Was mistaken...

Am I the only one who really doesn't see a problem with what OP is making? Beef stew is delicious, but it usually doesn't look visually exciting. The eggs are a nice touch.

>>9055375
There wasn't anything wrong with it, some people just come to /ck/ to get angry/troll about food-related things.

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>>9055375

>>9055375
>>9055469
it looks improperly canned. which it is
probably won't kill you with botulism. but unappetizing nonetheless

>>9055469
>angry

Its actually jealousy because they are tired of eating McDonalds, taco bell and tendies - but lack the cooking skills to eat anything else.

They are also disgustingly pig ugly and fat too. You ever notice how you never hear, "For me, its gotta be the Santa Fe Salad with grilled chicken. The best fast food salad.". No... You never hear that because the people that shit post on this board are unhealthy, JEALOUS children.

>>9056428
you cant tell if something is improperly canned by looking at it

>>9057102
He raw packed and didnt add liquid to vegetables
Its improperly canned

>>9057117
raw packing is safe. makes no difference

>>9057102
>you cant tell if something is improperly canned by looking at it

You can't tell every possible failure, but you can see many of them.

Leaks, bulging lids, mold, off colors, bubbling in the jar, and improper headspace are all easily visible.

>>9057122
Improper =\= unsafe

>>9057127
headspace does not matter in the end product.
headspace is for when the jars are initially filled.

you think a quart processed for 90 minutes needs liquid added to the vegetables?

>>9057137
not tested by the us does not mean improper. there are other countries in the world....

>>9057138
If you want good result? . Yes
Notice all corporate canned food has liquid in it? Thats so it doesn't shrivel up and discolour

>>9057138
>headspace does not matter in the end product.

It absoloutely does. Headspace = air in the jar. Air contains oxygen. Oxygen makes fats go rancid and leads to other chemical reactions which can make the food go bad faster. Not in the sense that it will make you sick, but in the sense that the food won't taste as good as it otherwise might. Keeping your headspace at a minimum results in a better product.

>>headspace is for when the jars are initially filled.
That's when the headspace level is set.

>>you think a quart processed for 90 minutes needs liquid added to the vegetables?
For food safety? No. But in this context--a stew--I absolutely think that OP should have added stock and wine so that the stew will taste better and will have a more pleasant texture.

>>9057147
> using 3rd world canning methods
Opinion discarded>>9057173

>>9057173
Headspace is not air holy shit

Omigod the basic lack of knowledge and common sense in this thread is baffling

>>9057173
exactly. the headspace was half an inch.

why would you think there is oxygen in the jars? do you know how the canning process actually works?

im not replying to your nonsense anymore

>>9057191
>why would you think there is oxygen in the jars?

Because I managed a research lab at a major US university for 9 years. One of the projects that I was involved with for many of those years was in partnership with the US military regarding the packaging of foods in MREs. While they use retort pouches rather than glass jars, the process is exactly the same: fill the container with food, close it, then process it in a retort (the industrial name for what is basically a giant pressure cooker) for the correct time and temperature. There was constant pressure to get the headspace as low as possible in order to preserve the quality of the food as long as possible. Uncle Sam spent literally millions of dollars through this program in order to meet this goal. I've spent countless hours in the lab testing sample MRE entrees for headspace, and sat in countless boring meetings while people put up powerpoint presentations discussing this whole mess.

Headspace does indeed contain trace amounts of oxygen.

>>9057191
>im not replying to your nonsense anymore
That's nothing new. You didn't answer anon's questions earlier in the thread either.

>>9057229
i think i would prefer botulism to all the other stuff the government adds to MREs

>>9057244

While I'm not a fan of processed food either, it's honestly no different than the shit that you get from fast food or commonly eaten name-brand processed foods.

There are all sorts of strange legends about them though. I got to talk to a lot of soldiers doing field trials on MREs. About half of them swore that MREs contained a laxative. The other half thought they contained an "anti laxative" designed to stop you up. Neither is true.

>>9057229
my canned food stays in a cupboard at room temp. i could see oxygen being an issue for MREs that would be stored at higher temps. how do they even store them in places like Iraq?

>>9057264
there is a history of the military adding other things to food. and keeping it a secret. do you think its different with MREs?

>>9057268
MREs and their packaging are designed and tested to be stored in all climates ranging from the frozen arctic through the desert heat.

The storage temps don't have much an effect on the shelf life of the food itself, but where it does matter is the packaging. The plastic pouches used to contain the MRE as a whole and the individual items inside get brittle in cold weather. So if, say, some army guys are dumping cases of MREs out of the back of a truck, helicopter, whatever...and one of them his the ground after falling a distance, there's a chance that could break some of the packaging inside.

>>9057282
they should add benificial stuff. like lithium orotate for stress

>>9050717
You're trying too hard

>>9057274
>do you think its different with MREs?

Sure. MREs are made by civilian contractors and then sold to the Military. They are not made by the military itself, they are made by private companies: Warnick, Sopacko, Ameriqual, etc. The food is FDA inspected and has mandatory ingredient & nutritional content labeling just like any other food made by a private company. And whenever possible the recipes are the exact same as many products you'd find at the supermarket. This is both cheaper for the military since they don't have to come up with something special, and it's also morale boost because the soldiers are eating things that are familiar to them.

>>lol there's drugs in MREs
That's tinfoil hat tier shit right there.

>>9057298
>inspected by FDA

totally safe then

>>9057264
For the first couple of years I was in the Army they still had C-rations and the older guys said they contained something to make you temporarily impotent so you wouldn't think about sex on the mission. Do you know if that was true?

>>9057307
yes. they used to put saltpeter in the food

>>9057307
I don't know anything about the C-rations; that was well before my time.

I seriously doubt it was true though; it sounds like yet another "old soldier's tale" to me.

>>9057311
They still do. Potassium nitrate is a common preservative for cured meats. It's in bacon, salami, ham, jerky, and all sorts of things you'd find in a supermarket.

However, potassium nitrate does not cause impotence. That's simply bullshit, yet for some reason idiots keep repeating it. I.e. >>9057311

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_nitrate#In_folklore_and_popular_culture

>>9050829
Well done anon. Enjoying Satans butthurt

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>>9057320
>folklore

i wonder what they will do now to keep soldiers from fucking each other.

>>9057347
>>folklore

Indeed. Just because some idiot who knows nothing about biology said they did it doesn't mean that he was right, anon.

I dunno about you, but I have zero trouble getting an erection after eating a bunch of meat cured with potassium nitrate.

>>9057229
oh look at this fucking cuck

>>9057401
i bet you do more with the sausage than eat it

>>9050567
NAMBLA pls go

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peanut butter cheesecake

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roasting a turkey breast to 165f