Food & Cooking Webm thread

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>tfw I first heard NBC was shitcanning Hannibal

what a bunch of losers. experimental show that still did really fucking well and had a cult following before it even left the air, and the network trashed it because they wouldn't know good TV if it shot them in the side of the face

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>when you're in a fully stocked kitchen but the survival training kicks in

>>9047122
It was pretty good, but pretty far up it's own ass at the same time.

>>9046960
the sauce kills it for me
it's just way to much

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>>9047140
>tfw your survival training tells you to grab a knife around the cutting edge with your palm

>>9046955
Can you even flombay with wine??

>>9046963
>all that work when you can just shoot your load into a bowl

>>9047673
Could be grappa

>>9047676
>not mixing your spunk into your tofu

>>9047679
lewd

>>9047148
it's an egg you muppet

>>9047140
That's a Zwilling J.A. Henckels chef's knife. That thing cost at least a hundred dollars.

>>9047733
Pretty sure they were referring to the brown sauce they dumped all over it at the end.

>>9047673

With vermouth, yes.

>>9046991
what the fuck is going on here?

>>9047829
Doesn't look like vermouth

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>>9047853

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>>9046991
You have to eat all the eggs

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>>9047874
you sure about that m8?

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>>9047969
It's not that brand, whatever it is

>>9048007
that doesn't mean it can't be a pale, off-white vermouth.

>>9048010
Well yeah, that doesn't mean it can't be white wine either and they included the flames for theatrics

I demand that you find out what it is

>>9048010
this guy says white wine

https://youtu.be/3lhxAMMxJMw

>>9048010
that doesn't mean it can't be human piss

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>>9048034
Recipe is Veal Osso Bucco. Since my internet is total shit, amazon refuses to stream in HD so I had to look up the recipe to see all the ingredients.

It is, indeed, white wine. I concede, you win.

>>9048074
Ok im sorry I bullied you

>>9046955
I would totally have dinner cooked by Hannibal Lecter, that shit looks amazing. And you're guarenteed polite company.

>>9048102
Unless he plans on having you for another dinner

>>9048007
Looks like it says cabernet sauvignon to me.

>>9048090
>Ok im sorry
No you aren't. Fuck off and kys faggot.

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>>9048106
That seems unlikely, since cabernet sauvignon is red.

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>>9048111
have a glass of wine

>>9048119
this one makes me hungry af every god damn time

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>>9047679

>>9047122
lol it was dark, dull and boring with a dash of homosexual undertones.

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I don't remember saving any of these.

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>>9046955
>yfw realize you'd rather eat what this dude was cooking any day opposed to Scalifani's drek.

>>9048462
>Still not asking for it

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>>9048485
>>9048468
>>9048462
>>9048459
>>9047679

>tfw you come to this thread hungry and leave horny

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>>9048429
Pretty rude, please apologize to Ja/ck/ immediately

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>>9048506
is that a steak for dogs?

>>9048506
>that barbaric toss into the pan

>>9048506
that was hard to watch

how do you fuck up the initial toss that bad?

>>9046960

I'll never understand Japan's fascination for slimy foods with plenty of raw and runny egg in it

>>9047679
how to get stretch marks

>>9047770
Simpsons did it

>>9048468
fucking gross
just disgusting

>>9047122
Third season was shit

>>9046963
gimme 20cc of tofu cummy yummies in my tummy stat!

>>9048816
only the beginning

>>9048462
i cringed at the knife wall

>>9048506
What does he have against letting things cook properly? It's like he can't wait to eat whatever abomination he's cooking, but he probably spends five minutes setting up the camera for the next shot anyway.

>>9047140
What is this from? A restauranteur punishment show?

>>9048462
>crying and puking in 5...4...3...2...

>>9047646
that's neat

>>9049697
Add a black and white filter and it looks like one of those infomercials

>>9049655
god this fuckers eyes are on the verge of popping out

>>9049655
Everything he does and says comes off as uncomfortably disingenuous.

>>9049840
I know what you mean, it's like he is a robot designed to react to foods in a scripted manner.

>>9047966
cool

>>9048462
she's gonna be a hit at college

>>9048512
kills me every time

>>9050259
>>9049840
I bet you both $20 he's an aspiring youth minister

>>9046955
lol served with a side of eyeballs at the end

>>9048680
>Americans still triggered by runny eggs

>>9050642
>that hair
she is a 30 year old roastie who lives for karaoke night

>>9050699
there's nothing appealing about eating hot cum

the yolk is a different matter

>>9048951

he probably read somewhere that "gourmet" cooking is only done "rare"

>>9048680
>>9050908

cum > sand

never got how people can eat dry eggs.
it's like eating cardboard.

but then again, if i was living in the usa i'd probably have to, considering how all the shit they have surrounding eggs

>>9051017
>i was living in the usa i'd probably have to

No, you'd have a large enough postage stamp to raise your own unless you were stupid enough to buy your little plot in a subdivision with a 1950's mentality nazi HOA where gardens or backyard chickens were forbidden and only Dow and Monsanto approved chemical grass dumps qualify.

>>9051017
terrible post

>>9047905
the madman actually did it?

There's a simple explanation for all of this. Why would presumably primarily hetero males despise fags? Let's see, fags don't compete for our women and if they hit on us we say, "nah man, I don't swing that way."

Diminishing the competitive field for pussy seems like something I, as a heterosexual male, would support. What's the answer for the hatred, fear and vitriol then? Pretty clear it's a repressed homosexual tendency that manifests in fury. That's why there's such a large number of rabidly anti-gay right wing politicians and evangelicals caught engaging in gay sex. Sad that humans are unable to honestly examine their own motivations.

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>>9051117
What the actual fuck? This isn't even pasta.

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>>9046955

>>9049655
I think I hate that faggot more than Jack.

>>9051130
RIP to pajeet's fingers

>>9048506
who flips a steak with a fucking spatula

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>>9051117
> Sad that humans are unable to honestly examine their own motivations.

It sure sounds like you desperately want to prove how gay Republicans and evangelicals by getting them to letting you sucking their cocks.

>>9051117

Admit it... you just want to fag out witht a couple of Republicans... like some kinda gay nazi sex fetish.

>>9047673
>>9047829
>>9048007
>>9048106

you can flambe with wine. idk where this meme comes from.

>>9051205

this post is a perfect example of people wanting to express a novel criticism of jack so desperately that they come up with totally irrelevant or ignorant bullshit

>>9048849

It only got slightly better towards the end. Didn't even stick that though.

>>9047122
While it left a lot of potential unfulfilled, I feel like it was too good for network. It needed to be on HBO or Netflix. All network has to offer now is singing and dancing. Nothing else. They're too scared. Television has always been a commercial enterprise but now it's the sponsors calling ALL the shots. Creative gets almost no input. There's no roof for boldness or bravery.

>>9047966
It's ALIVE! IT"S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

>>9050699

I'm not from the US and I do leave the yolk partially runny when frying eggs

it's the idea of having the whole meal be runny egg and rice like in that pic or tamago gohan that makes no sense to me.

>>9048506
Do Americans really buy steak in vacuum sealed packaging? How old is it?

>>9048506
>Just throws it against the side of the pan
>Doesnt even manage to cook it through
Jesus christ.

>>9052806
It's a dollar store mystery-meat cutlet

>>9052749
how much for the whole set?

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>>9048506
how do you manage to not cook a steak that fucking thin?

>>9052905
$645 + tip

>>9052971
Cause he puts butter in a cast iron skillet and it barely starts to melt. The pan wasn't hot at all.

>>9048506
enjoy your ban

>>9048391
>devine

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>>9048468
I must know her name.

>>9053233
fucking stupid delete this shit

>>9051017
> cum tastes good
Spoken like a true European

>>9053233

>/po/ crossposts on /ck/

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>>9053162
She does anal too. Go to /gif/ it's where i found her name.

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>>9046955
>>9047673
>>9047690
>>9051606
>>9047874
>>9047969
>>9048007
>>9048010
>>9048034
>>9048074

>>9049655
this guys fucking face cracks me up everytime

>>9048119
>fat, red meat
>sugary sauces
>no fresh vegetables

And I'd still eat it to the last bite.

>>9046963
look at all that delicious estrogen!

>>9048107
>>9046955
what show is this?

>>9053573
Cooking with Jack

>>9047140
Fuck I wanted to see if he told her to stop it, but the webm ended

>>9053620
He does, he says what she is doing is very dangerous and shows her this wondrous invention called a can opener.

>>9047679
>>9048456
>>9048462
>barefoot
>gallo
>another barefoot
something something do americans really whatever

>>9048849
The ending was the dumbest thing ever and didn't follow the books at all

>>9053314
Just tell us the fucking name

>>9053675
Racheal raxx

>>9048462
C'man that shit is like 8%, do that with a bottle of Bordeaux and I'd be impressed

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>>9053744
I cant fine youtubes of girls chugging harder wine

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>>9047679
Thats my Girl

>>9046955
>>9048107

Is there a name for the stuff he's making here?

>>9047764
mine cost 30....

>>9054041

The stuff he's making in the OP gif is just a standard braise, though normally you'd do it with beef, lamb, or veal rather than human. Look up "osso buco" for example.

2nd video is just sashimi. It's often dipped in a cold liquid before serving to firm up the texture. Ice-cold water would be traditional; I've also seen it done with gin.

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Did somebody say Jack?

>>9054069

oh okay.

I found the shows food stylists blog. A lot of detail:

http://janicepoonart.blogspot.com/2014/02/episode-1-kaiseki.html

>>9054092
>>9054099

Is this on purpose?

>>9053290
>implying i'm european
>implying cum doesn't taste good
>implying I suck cock
>implying I don't (no homo)
>implying cum isn't good 4 ya

>>9046991
should be a bowl of cooked eggs, not scrambled eggs

>>9054119
>>9054107
>>9054099
>>9054092

Suprised/amazed he still has all of his fingers

>>9053573
Hannibal.

>>9051612
Who's jack?

>>9051181
don't worry, there's a billion more of them

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>>9046991

>>9054089

Fake ass poutine

>>9049704
That'll be $25

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>>9054186
The sublime ruler and king of /ck/

>>9048463
What's the white stuff under the scoop of butter?

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>>9048506

>>9048768
The funny thing is there are people who unironically thinks she's hot

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>>9054439
>there are people who unironically thinks she's hot

Yes. About 11% of the US population.

>>9049653
She's cute and tried her best. Shendoesnt need a superficial cunt like that.

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>>9048468


MOAR!!!!!!!!

>>9049840
Agreed

>>9053233
this is a logistical nightmare.

>>9046963
Hell of an "end grain" cutting board.

>>9054069
The orange shit is uni, otherwise known as sea urchin. Annoying as fuck to clean and tastes like ass. Asians love it for whatever reason.

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>>9046991
>not hard boiled

>>9048443

>Curdled mornay

Is this supposed to be food porn or food gore?

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>>9054080
>mayonnaise

>>9047122
>>9048816
this. they went way too fucknig annoying artsy at the end. if i'm not sure what's real or not, why do i care if horrifying things happen? i'm going to not invest because i think it's fake? if the story is confusing why do i care? hate that pretentious shit. you're not cool, or intelligent, you're being retarded and making your show inaccessible and unenjoyable on purpose

>>9053620
I got you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0bAc6mc5GM

>>9054123
>he doesn't eat his chicken rare
Pleb.

>>9047679
You know aside from the obvious imagery and her ability what really turns me on is seeing a fit, hot girl like that eating that piece of literal fat like its nothing

Whats wrong with me, i dont even have a food fetish or anything and i hate fat women

>>9053233

NAILS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>9054119
This one never fails to make me laugh, jesus christ why would he leave this in the video

>>9048462
Thats hot

>>9047646
>chestburster.webm

>>9048119
Is this just for one person?

>>9052749
>8 course meal
>Still end up feeling hungry

>>9047770
This is really impressive and comes from a true mastery of his trade.

>>9052971
He claims he wanted it to be rare, which is just asking for food poisoning with a $1 steak. Clearly the pan should've been way hotter though

>>9053233
GJGG

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>>9047679

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>>9054999

>>9054107
>He spills the fucking beer

I'm done

>>9054107
>those motor skills of a toddler

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Tammy has seen better days

Almost looks like a rare pepe here

>>9054138
>Scrambled eggs aren't cooked

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>>9055202

>>9053136
I hate how it should be all over his hand, but it isn't.

>>9048462
Lets all agree the knife wall isn't a bad idea, it could be done right.

>>9055416
>anons have rooms like this RIGHT NOW but will never have girls in them

>>9053398
I have to know if he's doing that shit on purpose or not. Has anyone ever actually asked before?

>>9047243
looks like a Pustaries add

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>>9053136
>putting tomatoes in your guac

>>9054123
>
how dare he desecrate a shun like that

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>>9049725
fucking hilarious, he's so fucking stupid it's amazing

>>9054119
jack bro can you dump all your webms on a google drive for posterity

>>9047122
Welcome to liking Bryan Fuller shows. Hannibal got the best treatment out of all of them, especially compared to Dead Like Me and Pushing Daisies

>>9047243
Someone needs to make a version of this, like the other one, with Jack edits.

>>9056116
Makes you wonder how much borrowed time American Gods is on.

>>9053660
>NBC Hannibal
>didn't follow the books
gosh you dont say

>>9053660

>show got informed it was being cancelled halfway through the third season while they were still chugging through the Red Dragon arc
>"wow wtf this ending was horrible nothing like the books DOWNVOTED"

>>9057064
Once they finished I would laugh, shake my head without saying a word, get up and walk straight out without paying the bill, and no tip.

>>9047966
>tfw when you realize bread dough rises because the yeasts in it are farting

>>9054895
Sure thing, fatty.

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>>9050284

>>9054999
cut the first 2 seconds and it's perfect

>>9048462
That's disgusting, what a slovenly wench. That shit makes me sick to watch.

>>9053121
>soak over night

Does this activate the almond?

>>9050284
Ok, so, I've been to these open air meat markets in third world countries, exactly like this, except where I've been they were literally covered with flies everywhere.

How do they keep all that meat from attracting swarms of flying insects? Even at expensive tropical resorts, they have honeybees harvesting the dessert trays. How is this sloppy meat market so free of flies? Some Oriental Meat Market Feng Shui?

>>9057527

It looks like it's indoors anon. Near the beginning you can see the glass window at the front of the shop, later you can see the walls covered with tiles.

>>9048506
That shit's undercooked. Who is this joker?

>>9057531
Still pretty impressive. I'm pretty sure the local walmart deli has more flies than that place full of raw meat.

>>9057446
You're memeing but yes. That's how you actually produce activated almonds.

>>9057237
why do you post this every time?

>>9057318
>kid on the right just looking at the Eiffel Tower

>no grilled cheese webm

jesus christ favreau

>>9047966
>>9057258
*BRAAAAAAAAAAAP*
A-anon I'm making your dough rise with my farts!
*BRAAAP* kya~!
*BRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPP*

>>9046955
I've never seen the show. Is he making people?

>>9048462
Lol that shitty mall ninja knife wall. Bet whoever made it did it by looping scotch tape to make it double sided.

>>9058244
Yes. You've never heard of Hannibal Lecter?

>>9054114
Who doesn't enjoy a tartare sandwich with cold cheese?

>>9058361
Yeah I've heard of it I just didn't know if he was making beef or something and the show was just being cheeky.

>>9058411
Oh, okay. Yeah, the show is full of GOAT food porn sequences, but it's all offset by the fact he's supposed to be cooking using human parts.

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>>9053314
>She does anal too
very good

>>9058411
It's human leg

Here's the full scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcfWWcQO6OY

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>>9057537
Ja/ck/ is known for his patrician taste for RAW meats

>>9054041
My guess was probably "Steve", or "Chris". Pretty popular names.

>>9053121
does this shit taste good? i know its not milk

>>9054089
WHY WITH THE FUCKING TOWEL

>>9054099
HE LEFT THE FUCKING STICKER ON

>>9058692
he's doing it the "manly way" - just eat the damn sticker

>>9054425
I think that's actually a scoop of Ice cream on top of whipped cream, which is on top of powdered sugar.

>>9049655
chicken? looks like frog surely

>>9057064
>$240 for 2 guys to just sprinkle and pour shit on your table

>>9058774
I wish I could do that.

>>9058965

spray half of it across your kitchen and damn near severely injure yourself?

>>9058972
No, that's what I would do if I tried to. I'm saying I wish I could do it correctly like him.

>>9047733
The sauce in the rice is also really heavy.

>>9054089
>gravy too thick
>shredded cheese instead of curds

I am deeply offended.

>>9049697
god damn it's like he cant do anything right. sometimes i wonder if he has trouble wiping his ass

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>>9050284
>the skinned legs 5-6 seconds in have paws

>>9052749
Fuck you and the dick you rode in on if you think this is acceptable to serve to a paying customer other than as a joke or a free sample.

>>9059152
I'm only seeing hooves

>>9059161
>>9059152

Ah wait I see em now

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>>9053136
>the knife work
>the way he tosses in the minced jalepeno
>the mortar and pestle work
>the way he spreads the chips

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>>9053136

>>9057237
Stop fucking posting this.

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>>9059193
>>9053136
Can somebody webm his deli sandwich one? Pretty fuckin please??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWEl8-PHhMI

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>>9059206
gotcha covered famalam

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>>9059212
My dude!

>>9053880
hehe

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It's the return of the Ja/ck/

>>9048427
F

>>9055735
>not putting tomatoes in your guac so it can slide down your baby palette nice and smooth

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>>9046955
Has anyone checked out the cookbook from the show?

Anyone have a PDF?

>>9060024
Eat shit and die

>>9058973
he did spray a bunch of it off to the left though, you can see that

>>9060282
second.

>>9060024
i love authentic no-bean chili

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>>9060289
You first

>>9060282
there is a cooking book from this show? i am not of the unwanting for as such!

Something about the way Hannibal cooks is just so beautiful.

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>>9060537
Becuase he has nice things and drinks wine.

>>9053233
Vihart?

>>9057064
The fuck im seeing?

>>9047905
sauce on original pic

>>9051117
>That's why there's such a large number of rabidly anti-gay right wing politicians and evangelicals caught engaging in gay sex.
name 3 in the past 2 years

>>9055735
thats how you make guac though
its essentially pico de gallo and mashed avocado

>>9061079

Admittadly, this sort of thing calmed down during the Obama years, but was fucking happening all the fucking time during Bush.

Mostly with pastors that would get caught cheating on their wives with men. There were dozens. I'm not going to take the time to list them. There was a new one every 6 months for years.

Most pastors are closet homosexuals, or child molestors. There were dozens of child molesting priests that were outted as well, not politicians - but probably everybit just as right wing and anti-gay.

>>9060391
god that just ends up looking like a turd sandwich

>>9058636
how often do you think he's shittin his brains out?

>>9061079
check out the "tea room trade"

also look into prechristian views on homosexuality
homosexuality used to be incredibly common in ancient greece and rome when there were no real restriction against it (thats not to say there weren't also stigmas against being a bottom etc..) until homosexuality became "wrong" and even then homosexuality has always been common among those who could kept it discrete and also had enough power not to be punished for it such as the aristocracy

>>9052749
this isn't a rage thread, anon

>>9054144
Or that he's even alive. I'm amazed he hasn't been run over by an inattentive driver while crossing the street without checking.

>>9054099
>>9054107
holy fucking kek

>>9059212
I love how, as abstract as it is, you can tell what every ingredient is supposed to be

>>9061098
It happened less than a handful of times, you lying kike

>>9057766
It's a wallpaper, toolbar on the bottom there.

>>9057064

what kind of meme cuisine is this?

>>9060282
Ive wanted to check it out in the past, havent heard anything of it.

>>9054869
American portions mate

>>9061210
It happens all the time down here in the south where homosexuality is stigmatized and a lot of fags remain closeted. Evangelical preachers are notorious for it, I guess because they think they can self flagellate and ask forgiveness immediately after and still get into heaven.

>>9061015
I thought the same thing kek

>>9058774
>real garlic flies away
>drops chopped garlic he had in his hand all along
i have seen this trick before

>>9050284
what kind of knife is that? the knife the guy in the back is using to cleave the meat.

>>9046991
how the fuck does he film

>>9047646
What is this?
it is so pretty :3

>>9054092
To be fare that thing looks dumb as hell

>>9053121
>healthier "milk"
>pour a cup of liquid sugar in it