Why do these fucking things never work?

I was just asking myself the same question

>>9043761
i have a phobia about opening those fucking things

Sometimes you just gotta pop a cap in it's ass

>>9043761

Stick a spoon in it.

>>9043761
>take spoon
>push into the seam

Literally right on the package. Why are people so stupid?

>>9043787
that a arrow anon

>>9043808
Then use an arrow. For fuck's sake.

>>9043761
Maybe it's because you have little girl feet and stand very feminine.

>>9043761
press the curved upside down spoon edge right into that seam. And, yes, there's a phobia waiting for that pop.

>>9043785
>>9043787
>use a spoon

or just grab the sumbitch with both hands and twist the motherfucker

>>9043821
>that long ass big toe
>little girl feet

>>9043821
Damn, now that you point that out I see what you mean by OP having a very girlish, manlet body. Coupled with the fact he can't open a biscuit container makes me pass a judgement as fag of the highest order.

you're supposed to preheat the can before you open it

>peel the outer lining off
>halfway through the fucking can pops prematurely
why do biscuit cans have to come with a fucking jumpscare, shits worse than champagne bottles i swear

>>9043976
Those are literally the only two things that are fun to open since Spam ditched the keys.

File: 9c14ce9e338e771533d1d9d6858d4d0f.jpg (51KB, 477x640px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 477x640px

>>9043976
Those are literally the only two things that are fun to open since Spam ditched the keys.

>>9044126
This. Paint your toenails purple and show us. Video yourself holding a biscuit can between your feet and popping it.

>>9043761
You might be freezing it like a retard, otherwise I don't know because it always works for me.

I usually give it a slide bang against the counter.

>>9043761
I swear no one on this board knows how to open them. You're suppose to whack the tube against the edge of your counter.

>>9044406
THIS.
Came here to post that. Why the fuck would you use a spoon when you can jist slam it on the edge of your counter top

>>9044451
>>9044406
Thank Christ, I'm not the only one who does this. Man up and slap that shit against your faux-granite son.

>>9043761
>biscuit can
i just looked this shit up on youtube.

why do americans do these things?

File: 2011-03-30-Fear-Of-Pop-Culture.jpg (159KB, 800x518px) Image search: [Google]

159KB, 800x518px

>>9043779
Ronnie?

>>9043761
I swear one day I'm gonna open one of these and the pressure will cause one of the metal disc parts to come flying and impale me in the face

>>9043851
I always just bash it against the counter

File: tEMLfgFh.jpg (92KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 1024x768px

>>9043961
>manlet

Have you tried not being a failure? Just open with your thumb.

>>9046343
>being so insecure about your height you have a photo of your drivers license at the ready
wew lad

>>9043761
have always worked for me, maybe you are simply retarded

File: IMG_2937.png (352KB, 489x328px) Image search: [Google]

352KB, 489x328px

>>9043761
you're supposed to bang it on the counter until it bursts

>>9046386
This. I've used those for years and never had a problem.

smash on forehead

If you let it sit out for a few minutes and warm just barely from refrigeration temps, it will work on its own design. Obviously no gas built up to pop it if it's at like 45 degrees

>>9043761
>follow instructions on the label
>works every single time
What the fuck did he mean by this?

What the even is it?
Raw biscuits, in a can you carn't open?

>>9046566

The label tells you how to open the container, and part of that process is to remove the label exposing the cardboard interior. The black marks you see in OP's photo indicate where to apply pressure to open the container. You don't see the label in OP's pic because that pic was taken partway through the opening procedure.

>>9046581
>Raw biscuits,
Yes.

> in a can you carn't open?
Only if you're a retard. My 6yo nephew has no problem opening those.

>>9046343
>autism

>>9046343
Holy kek! How insecure are you to have to use your daddy's license to attempt to prove you're not a girlish manlet?

>>9043761
you're supposed to open pringles from the top, fuckhead.

>>9043976
Back in my home ec class in middle school forever ago our teacher would make students open hers when she was demonstrating, I don't understand how people are scared of it popping.