haha long egg

how

They are just cooking the whites into a cylindrical shape, pouring yolks in and cooking again.

>>9043433
How do birds fly? Why is the sky blue? Just accept it.

>>9043502
must be magic

>>9043433
Really long chicken

>>9043511
Thanks

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>>9043511
Don't listen to this guy.

>>9043433
The trick is to scare the shit out of the chicken right as it's laying the egg, so the chicken pushes too hard and makes an extra long egg.

>>9043433
It's what happens when you don't masturbate for a month.

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>>9043431
There are worse things

>>9043511
Fuck that got me

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>>9043553
you laugh. but this thing is the greatest invention ever

>>9043553
https://youtu.be/KFP5mmPZe_c
>>9043565
You realise you can just microwave eggs in a regular old coffee mug, right?

>>9043553
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFP5mmPZe_c

T R E M E N D O U S

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>>9043511
Same chickens they use to make these.

>>9043504
miracles

>>9043431
Hahaha do u think the chicken got embarrassed pooing the eggs out haha just curious

>>9043802
I wonder what they smell like haha

>>9043768
>fucking egg cylinders

Has anyone tried long pig?

>>9043878
Everytime I accidentally cannibalize the inside of my own mouth.

>>9043875
How do they work?

>>9043807
uuugh I've had mornings like that.

((cackles externally))

>>9043553
H E A L T H Y

>>9043502
It's the reflection of the Sea you dummy

>>9043603
Learned how to do this living in the dorm at college and still do it occasionally

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>>9044679
So what you're telling me is that birds are actually just fish reflected on the clouds?
I knew there was no such thing as a flying creature.

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>>9043431
I like long pig

>>9043807
for anyone curious, that's an egg master.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Eggmaster-Hand-Free-Automatic-Electric-Vertical/dp/B00MXD7CE4
in my opinion, fucking abomination.

>>9043502
because god loves the infantry

>>9043433
German engineering :DDDD

>>9043553
You can literally stick your penis in there and cook it. How did they approve this for sale.

>>9044911
My first thought at first glance at the picture was that it was some kind of fleshlight

>>9043607
>>9043553
mods pls delete

>>9043565
People who microwave eggs need to be culled.

>>9044911
you'd have to have a pretty slim dick and a severe masochistic streak

oh right, i forgot where i was

>>9043603
>You realise you can just microwave eggs in a regular old coffee mug, right?
this. how can people be this retarded>>9043565
>>9043565
>>9043565

>>9043433
First you take eggs and seperate yolk and white.
Then you pour the white into a cylinder which is hollow from the inside and boil the white
then you pour the white into this cylinder and boil the white
Then you deepfreeze it.

>>9044679
what about places where there's no water huh? checkmate idiot

>>9043433
magic

>>9043433
>hard boil a bunch of eggs
>cut a slice in the exact same spot in all of them
>put all those slices together
>use some meat binder to have the whites stick together

>>9043511
holy kek

>>9043807
i dont like this

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What the fuck is this thread

>>9048566
Classie doctoring for the sake of stiffly

>>9048566
long egg haha

>post is now on reddit

Tell me, what is it like knowing you'd be better off killing yourself?

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>>9048619
How do you know it's there? Hmmmmmm....

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>>9048634
how do you know he knows it is...........

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>>9045275
not en every day technique, but i like to do this once or twice a week

STEP ONE
purchase a couple of sous vide machines from amazon, ebay, whichever suits you best. they really are the most versatile machine that everyone should have in their kitchen. perfect for all foods, from pears to rice.
STEP TWO
you want to go ahead and use at least 7 eggs for this method otherwise you wont get the yield youre looking for. separate the whites from the yolks, and place into separate bowls (duh)
STEP THREE
whisk the whites to get a bit of air into them, and do the same for the yolks to bring them together into what is effectively one giant yolk
STEP FOUR
now the problem with the giant yolk, is that it does not retain its original shape. its a liquid, not a nice sphere of yolk. this is easy to fix. soak a little gelatin in water to activate it, and boil it down in some water. once it has dissolved, let it cool, and then add it to your yolk mixture
STEP FIVE
pour some canola oil into a large bowl or tube container. i use a large vase, but obviously that isnt technically a kitchen item. it just worked well due to its volume and shape. put the oil into the fridge, and let it cool down so it is more viscous.
STEP SIX
take your gelatin yolk, and pour it into the chilled oil. this will create a giant yolk sphere, which you can then fish out with a slatted spoon. place the giant yolk into a bag for vacuum sealing. place the whites in to bag in the same way. vacuum seal both.
STEP SEVEN
have the sous vides set to 35 and 45 for whites and yolks respectively. place the bags into the appropriate baths, and cook for 1 hour 35 minutes a piece.
STEP EIGHT
remove both from the baths, remove from bags, and get a plate out for service
FINAL STEP - SERVICE
lay the whites onto a plate, and then lay your giant yolk into the centre of the whites, and voila! you have yourself a perfectly cooked, giant egg.]

like i said. not for every day, but twice a week is fine. great way to eat eggs.

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>>9048634
Some retard posting Reddit frogs on 4Chinks told me.

>>9045518
>oceans are 70% of the planet
>therefore sky is 70% blue
did you even go to science school

>>9050762
>70% blue
It's 100% blue dumbass. Unless you're counting clouds, then it's like 90%.

>>9050764
>>imblying there's not a thunderstorm

>>9050764
I can't believe you managed to figure out the captcha.
The sky is 70% blue, the other 30% is clouds.
If the sky is 100% blue and THEN you add clouds then that adds up to more than 100% genius.

>>9050771
clouds are white, anon... not blue

What about night when it's not blue dickhead

>>9050804
It's dark blue Nimrod, there's just no light to see it.

>>9050812
No he's right, at night it's 100% black, clouds included.

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>>9043431

>>9050822
This is scientifically unsound.

snek egg

>>9043807
I'm never eating eggs again

Haha le long egg is le lonnnngg xD

>>9050640

This sounds great. One question, do I have to re-purchase new sous vide machines every time or can I reuse them?

>>9044679
It's the other way around.

>>9046498
Retard alert

>>9043832
shut the fuck up carson

>>9052606
but then the sea would be space colored because the sky has all the space in itself

>>9052606

It's the atmosphere

>>9043807
looks like it's taking a shit

>>9044679
Why is the sea blue, then? Checkmate atheists.

>>9053670
It's a reflection of your soul.

>>9043511
lol

>>9043431
Why are there no fetish videos using this stuff?

HEY FAGGOTS, here's how you make it yourself. Enjoy, and let the speculating stop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XonNy7s2Nhk

>>9055211
Fetish how? How could somebody possibly use this item fetishistically? Stuff it up their ass?

>>9043511
Shit that got me good.

>>9055243
But how are they mass produced?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYz2DLN9uik

Wow these have been around a while huh?

>>9055167

this is why we need PETA, greenpeace, and other groups. i can't imagine the horrific, cruel treatment and gene manipulation that was needed to produce these long chickens.

>>9055324
Manufacturing engineering. That's how.

>>9043807
Never thought of that. Do white people shit white shit?

>>9055729
I actually knew a guy in uni who's shit was turned permanently white from participating in a drug trial for $. PERMANENTLY WHITE. To this day, I'm like, what the fuck was he taking!?!?

>>9043807

>ASS

This is shitposting taken to a new level.

My sides.

>>9055729
yeah

Here is an explanation of how these are made by a german children's show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adufmEaCzjs

>>9055759
Medical school dropout herr here. White shit is liver failure I think. Or kidneys. Either way, it's not good.

>>9043607
>floppy cock of egg
god I've missed ashens

>>9051410
You have to ritualistically sacrifice your old sous vide machines to the chicken fetus gods after every use. Best if done in a fire, but if not possible, you can cut them open to find the heart and sacrifice that later.
The hearts are freezer friendly, so you can store until your next opportunity to burn them.

>>9050828
Quality meme

>>9056233

>shit is brown because of gall
>stocked in the gallbladder
>produced by the liver

yes white shit is caused by liver failure

tfw short egg

>>9056604
Will they ever learn?

>>9050828
kek

>>9050762
>>9050764
>>9050771

Yeah but at night the skys aren't blue, they are dark. Explain that one faggots. Check mate.
Also 50% of the planet is in darkness at all times, so surely only 35% of it would be blue.

>>9055248
>Sttuff it up their ass?
Yes.

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>>9043431
haha long pig

>>9057612
dafuq is that?

because it ain't longpig

>>9057634
thicc ET

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>>9057612
>>9057636
Honestly. If we did make contact with aliens it would not take me long to start wondering what they tasted like.

>>9044911
>normal people
>what a great appliance, I can use this to cook eggs

>4chan
>I can stick my penis in this

>>9057693
>>9044911
I'd like to see someone cook a piece of shit in it.
Or pouring in a few months worth of jizz.

>>9048619
maybe you should ask yourself that question

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>>9057705
no
no more
it's time to stop

>>9044911
How the fuck could you fit your dick in there? true needlecock

>>9050646
>helper is reddit
Wad tha fugg?

>>9050640
wow

>>9050640
I understand that this is like a thing for you and you like the a(u)(r)tistic side of it, but I eat 3 eggs for breakfast every day with a grilled cheese. I've been doing this for 4 years, only time I don't is 1-3 months a year when I'm cutting calories in my workout schedule, but even then I go 1 egg + 3egg white omelette.

One of the best moments of my day is still that first cut into my eggs piled on top of my grilled cheese, when it's still crunchy + gooye inside, and the yolk hasn't had time to become a little bit less runny, and it instantly flows downward, soaking the bread, resulting in a perfect bite.

no idea where I'm going with this, I just think it's a lot of work for something i cook/eat in 10 minutes every day.

>>9057659
Do you know what humans taste like?

>>9044729
You're not funny.

>>9056233

holy christ it's clear why you dropped out

>>9059488
if my peepee is white does that mean I have kidney failure