/sqt//ck/ - Stupid Questions Thread

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>>8948549

6 minutes per side on the grill = medium. Don't flip it more than once a side. Do not press down on the meat, or poke it with prongs.

Don't ever eat well done meat.

Fudgey brownies with chewy edges = GOAT, there is no other answer.

Don't cook food in nuclear ovens. The cake is a lie.

microwave baking is the ultimate mixture of rock bottom effort and high gourmet. literally mix any kind of flour, seasoning (sweet/savory), and liquid (water), and microwave it in a cup. a minute later youll have an entirely edible morsel

>>8948549
>well-done steak (he like)
Leave him.
>bake a cake in a microwave
On second thought you obviously lack the self-respect to leave him.

>>8948567
Should i use store brought brownies or mix them myself?
>>8948590
He thinks you'll get worms if you don't cook your steak well-done

>>8948549
>hubby
Fuck off you obese land whale

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>>8948615
>:o delet

>>8948610

Making your own is always best.

200g roughly chopped dark chocolate
150g, plus extra for greasing unsalted butter
2 teaspoons vanilla paste or extract
150g golden (if possible) castor sugar
2 beaten eggs
75g plain flour
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
100g dark chocolate chips

Method

Preheat the oven to 180°C (fan 160°C) / 350°F / gas mark 4. Grease a 19cm (7½in) square shallow baking tin and line the base with baking paper. Melt the chopped chocolate, butter and vanilla together in a heatproof bowl set over a saucepan of barely simmering water, making sure the surface of the water does not touch the bowl. Remove from the heat and stir in the sugar, then leave to cool for a few minutes.

Beat in the eggs, then sift in the flour, cocoa and salt and fold in until the mixture is smooth and glossy. Stir in the chocolate chips. Pour the mixture into the prepared tin and level the top.

Bake in the oven for 25 minutes, or until the top starts to crack but the centre remains gooey. Turn off the oven and leave the brownies inside for a further 5 minutes before removing. Leave to cool completely in the tin.

Cut the brownies into 16 small squares and remove from the tin. Store in an airtight container for up to 4 days.

>>8948549
>>the best way to cook a medium-rare steak (i like)?
Let rest at room temp for 45-60 mins
Season with salt and pepper, rub with canola or vegetable oil on each side
Get the pan nice and hot
Cook 4 mins
Flip
Cook 3 mins in a copious amount of butter, like more than you think is healthy and then more than that, and rosemary
Sear on side for 1 min
Let rest 10 mins
Cut and plate
>>the best way to cook a well-done steak (he like)?
Tell him to eat shoe leather and ketchup, it's effectively the same thing
>>tips on making the best mouth-watering brownies?
Unironically just buy the ghiradelli brownie mix
>>is it true you can bake a cake in a microwave?
You can bake a baby in the microwave but it's also not recommended

>>8948610
You married an idiot.

>>8948610
He's a dipshit

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>>8948635

>g

What unit of measurement is this?

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>>8948715
grams you heathen

>>8948715

>what unit of measurement is this?

You have to be fucking kidding me.

>>8948715
Gallons

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>>8948715

welcome newfriend

>>8948715
AMERICAN EDUCATION AMIRITE?!?!?!!!! XD

>>8948610
>get worms

Tell him to come here so we can tell him how fucking retarded that is.

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>>8948715
Delet

>>8948715
>What unit of measurement is this?
Communism.

Excuse me everyone, I have a question.

>>8948567
>dont flip more than once.
ha you're cute, but you can't cook.

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>>8948549
>>is it true you can bake a cake in a microwave?

y-yeah....

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>too much water in pancake mix
>too thinly spread on the frying pan
what do?
right now i'm microwaving them in mugs for 20min in low heat, any other ideas?

>>8948549
If the thread survives I will post my brownie recipe my mum gave me. Should be in 2 hrs.

>>8951091
Add flour and some baking powder.
About 50g should be enough

>>8951091
add flour, maybe even eggs. Are you trying to make fluffy american pancakes or cr^epes?
For cr^epes, you're looking for cream consistency. For fluffy pancakes, I don't really know.

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>>8951102
>>8951116
i want to do pancakes
mugs didn't work, it's too chewy and tastes like shit
if i have no means of purchasing additional materials, is there anything i can do to salvage the mix?
thanks

what should i make for a guy so he falls in love with me?

>>8951116
A good trick for fluffy pancakes is to mix the egg white alone and fold in.
This makes it hold its Form and you can make small fluffy pancakes.

>>8951127
If you don't have any flour there isn't really anything you can do. Or at least nothing I can think of.

>>8948615
Bro, what's with the hate?

Whenever I cook meat fat ends up spitting fucking everywhere on my cooktop. Should I just get one of those plastic cover things or am I cooking stuff too hot?

I forgot to buy whole milk and now all that's left is my mom's gross skim milk

can I put condensed milk in it to make it closer to whole milk or is that a bad idea

>>8951522
it will be sweet an gross as fuck, don't waste it like that. deal with the water milk.

>>8951527
>>8951522
Fuck, I meant evaporated milk. Not condensed milk

I get them mixed up all the time

I need some tips on puree. How do I do it?

>>8951136
Anything, but make sure to add menstrual blood. Can confirm.

>>8951614
press the puree button on your blender

I want to learn how to cook. I've been making food for myself regularly for about 8 months now, just following recipes. Sometimes I make little adjustments to the recipes now, and I can impro stir-fry and combine dishes.
But I want to learn how to make original dishes myself, learn about different methods, tools etc. Any books that could help me?

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>>8948549
Steak doneness is most easily judged by touching to ascertain tenderness. There are plenty of ways but the two most foolproof to me are;
4 finger; touch your thumb to each of yr fingers and feel the pressure on the palm next to the thumb
Face; cheek is rare/blue, chin is med, forehead is well
Alternatively set a timer or use temp probes.
For good brownies, use cocoa butter and a high quality powder. Find a recipe from a respected bakery cookbook and keep in mind that bakery is an exact science.
>>8951136
Something that'll make him feel like life is good. Hearty stews and curries come to mind. >>8951877
Start with the french; read larousse.

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>>8952935

>>8951136
Hearty and meaty, generous portion size.
Or go with a fancy 3 course dinner if he's a nu-male. Use mason jars.

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>>8951136
Make this!!

It's been a family favorite for four generations. It's cheap, delicious, easy, and tastes better the second day.

Don't skimp on the sausage quality, please.

>>8951431
You're probably putting cold meat into somewhat too hot oil. Whenever my oil spits like that, I know that I'll have to work to keep the food from browning too quickly. If it's something you have to wait before you flip, like a pancake, I know it's a goner.

The only solution is to heat up your oil with the gas on a mark or two lower, and clean up your stove between cook times with a grease-breaking soap. Don't just smear it with a wet paper towel. Check the underside of any elements over your stove. The grease got there too.

>>8951533
It'll taste off, still. Just add more butter or cream if you're cooking or baking with it.

>>8951614
Use a blender, but also be sure to chop your to-be-puréed items consistently. Make them a small and uniform size. Go in small, easy batches while gradually adding your broth or liquid. Taking a bit longer with multiple batches is better than going in all at once and making a mess with random unprocessed chunks floating around.


I once made paper with a food processor. It was fun.

I shoved a tomahawk steak up my ass and it's past well done thank you

I need it out for a bbq tonight thank you what do

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Is there a way to make some high-protein, low-carb snacks without using protein powder?

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Any decent places online to learn to cook various types of things and styles? I will be moving to my first apartment in the fall for uni and it will be the first time I actually have to cook for myself even though I always wanted to learn to cook.

>tfw mother is a workaholic and hates cooking so no one is able to teach me about Latino cuisine and the culture that revolves around it

How many different omelette recipes are out there?

>>8954510 here,

i will start out with larousse like >>8952935 suggested

>>8948549
Do you peel rhubarb before putting it into a pie? I tried and it wouldn't really peel, maybe my rhubarb is shitty.

>>8954498
Just eat a shit ton of fish

I'm making a bunch of burgers for a friends birthday, do I cook the bacon, onions and mushroom before I put it into the ground beef for patties? Cheese or no cheese in the patty?
I've got cheddar and american.

>>8955669
>Putting anything in the patty

Silly anon, a patty is only meat. The extra little bits go on top.

>>8955690
I'm not making fine dining, gonna throw a bunch of stuff into some ground beef and probably an egg to make it all stick together and form it into patties. tomato, lettuce, more onion and cheese on top and a bun to hold the shitshow together. Just some greaseball food for some fa/tg/uys to hang out and eat.

>>8955703
Sounds like a fun time. Color me jealous. What sides are you thinking of?

>>8955553
What if I can't afford a shit ton of fish?

>>8955765
Probably some slaw and corn.

>>8955999
Buy the big cans of mackerel or salmon. It's incredibly cheap. I've seen them at the dollar store, even. Just mash it up into a paste with some spices and mustard and stuff. Eat on rice or toast or whatever you low-carb people eat instead of rice and toast. Maybe make some cabbage rolls and eat with peanut sauce.

>>8955703
saute onion, carrot, celery, and mushrooms.
let cool.
mix with meat/egg/breadcrumb mixture
make patties and cook as normal
shit's great
as for seasoning, some montreal or salt and pepper is all you need

>>8956035
Thanks, man! Will give it a shot.

>>8956038
thanks.