help /ck/

A dead rat and a box of razor blades.

>>8899441

Macaroni and cheese...throw a couple hot dogs in there if you want to impress them...

>>8899441
>I've invited my sister and her Chad boyfriend over for dinner tomorrow
Why though?

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Order a Crave Case from White Castle and laugh all night about the farts you all share together

>>8899441
>I've invited...these ungrateful assholes [over for dinner, what should i cook]?

Your fucking head. Just turn on the broiler and stock your head in.

Put a chicken in the oven and just burn the fucker. Refuse to take it out. When they say something, keep telling them "5 more minutes."

>>8899441
I think it's funny how /ck/ uses Chad as an insult.
My bosses name is Chad and he's the nicest guy ever but I still laugh a bit at because of his name and how autists on 4chan use it.

>>8899441
a bullet

>>8899470
It's /r9k/ and /v/ crossboarding. Just berate them and ignore.

>>8899449
This is quality advice

>>8899452
Cause i fucking hate him but want to look like the better person.

>>8899470
It's just a waspy yuppy name
Could have easily been Brent, or Trent, or Gabe, or any other faggoty name you'd expect to be a blonde bully in an 80s movie who wears Lacoste and hangs out at a country club

>>8899484
Please improve your own life

>>8899489
How about lawrence?

>>8899496
Eh, I could be wrong but Lawrence doesn't seem like a stereotypically "yuppie" name to me, more like just an old fashioned name that's been forgoton, like Clancy or Eugene

Lasagna.

Put a bomb in it.

Do not invite Smash Adams.

SPAM sammiches on onion rolls. Side of cold veg-all served straight out the can. Get em loaded first.

>>8899500
Who's got time to make lasagna AND a bomb?

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When they arrive, just go to your room and go to bed. No dinner. Ignore them and go to sleep.

>>8899467
My dog came in to check in me
I laughing like a hysterical maniac for two mins. Good work

>>8899503
Getting loaded is going to be necessary to keep up pleasantries

A decent meal. Then enjoy their company. Buy some weights, lift them. Then read a book called how to win friends and influence. Broaden your horizons and develop meaningful relationships. Spend money wisely and advance your career opportunity as much as you can. Then when you are retired early surrounded by people that love you tell Chad hes a bitch, if hes still with your sister then.

>>8899441
>I've invited[...] ungrateful assholes
I guess you're a fucking idiot, huh?

>>8899489
>Could have easily been Brent, or Trent, or Gabe, or any other faggoty name you'd expect to be a blonde bully in an 80s movie who wears Lacoste and hangs out at a country club

I grew up in the eighties, and you have no idea how right you are. I knew a good dozen or so guys named Trent, Brent, Chad, Steven, Chase, and some more unusual yuppie names like Winston, Forrest, and Springer.

I do not believe his name is Chad

Bacon wrapped hot dogs

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>>8899606
>Springer.
Well at least there was one good Springer to come out of the 80s

>>8899467
my gf did this once... Was she trying to tell me she hated me? (we are no longer together)

>>8899496
That's an Arabian name.

>>8899845
ayo dis nigga hilurious

>>8899441
nothing.

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>>8899455
good point

Rape her in front of chad.

>>8899470
The only Chad I know is actually a fairly friendly, but he's a proper Chad. I'm certain he's told someone to just be themselves at some point, too.

>>8899467
My mom did this throughout my entire childhood....

>>8900566
It's the only way to assert your dominance OP

>>8899441
shoot both of them and then shoot yourself. put the gun in your mouth and aim for the spinal base. instant death.

Just make some Pasta carbonara. It's easy to make but their retarded normalfags so they'll just think "WOAH ANON,you made this yourself???"

Bonus points: use dry pasta but say you made it yourself by hand,they're too retarded to notice a difference.

>>8899845
Shu tup

>>8899467
please do this OP.
but if you want to actually serve food, id say cook something normal like chicken breasts and some green beans or some shit, but the ONLY available drink that isnt tap water are 32oz beers.
Casually in a conversation when they come over, offer them a beer and hand them a 32oz if they say yes. Dont comment on it unless they say "im driving" or something, keep saying its all you have. Then at dinner, put two fresh 32oz High Lifes in front of them and crack them open.

>>8899512
>He doesn't keep a case of bombs in his root cellar
Stay pleb

>>8899441
Just do some steak, it's an impressive dish when done right.

For vegetables, make a garden salad with vinagrette, also some mashed potato but properly with butter, milk, salt and pepper.

Sleepytime chicken

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>>8901280

>>8899484
you're sucha cuck

>>8899441
They'll probably think worse of you if the food is shit.

>>8900564
This speaks to me.

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>>8900564
>pizzza

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Bring out a large serving plate in front of them, fart on it and say, "Bone apple tea!"

>>8899441
Brownies /k/ style

>>8899496
Only faggots and sailors are named Lawrence.

>>8899441
Make some great food, but put your semen in it. Then you can smile and nod as they compliment your cumfood.

>it's been 2 days

How'd it go, OP?

>>8899441
Kek Rocky mountain oysters

>>8904318
/k/um brownies hah