Flatmate stories

>>>/mlp/

yeah, pic not related.

>>8856299
Why don't you just talk to him instead of being a giant blog faggot on an Indonesian crayola comic board?

>>8856310
Can't really get it across to him, he speaks Czech, and we converse in broken english.

>>8856299
biolling doesn't always kill moulds, hell fires don't always kill moulds, you wanna soak it in everclear over night matey then you could eat this raw too for extra fun

>>8856299
because we live in an age of abundance where the danger is not about being hungry but being fat. everybody is spoiled.

>>8856299
>>idiot flatmate loves to throw food away
>>whole butternut pumpkin trash with slight discolouration and miniscule smattering of mold on stem.

Your flatmate is black isn't he?

Not normal black. 'Merican black. Those niggers waste food like they get it for free.

>>8856357
But they do get it for free dude. Welfare state

>>8856302
that is from Panty and Stocking w/ Gartebelt, you fucking uncultured peasant

lump
i mean bump

My roommate just sits in his room and does dabs all fucking day every day. When he does eat it's usually either oven French fries, stuffing, or dollar store candy/pop tarts of some sort. It's unreal how he's still alive, this on top of energy drinks daily.

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>live with roomie
>we both agree to do our own groceries
>roomie does his groceries one day
>fills the entire fridge and freezer with his own food
>never eats the stuff in the freezer

Thanks

bupm

>>8856302
>durrr purple means ponies
retard

>>8856299
>usually one of us goes by snacks for the week for both of us
>he's fucking fat
No matter how much we buy it won't last a week. He just ate 8 big portions of ramen in two days.

>about to have a flatmate for the first time in my life
>Cant bring myself not to think of all those /ck/ horror stories I've read

Uh, don't eat jam that had mold on it. Killing the bacteria isn't enough, they leave toxins that will make you sick even after they're dead

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>>8856302

>>8857667
>housemate too lazy to refill ice trays
>buys a big bag of ice instead
>takes up half the already tiny-ass freezer

it took so long to get through it as well

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>>8856302
baka

>>8856299
>First year of college
>End up in a tiny room with 2 room mates
>Medium sized fridge (maybe three feet tall)
>Was kind of chubby until I was 10-11
>Didn't want to get fucked over by the fast food jew
>Brought a duel hot plate, skillet, and crockpot with to help cook
>Room mates occasionally used the hot plate but they only knew how to make kraft mac and cheese and ramen
>Never fucking cleaned up their mess
>Decided arguing was stupid and cooking solely for myself was wasteful
>Started cooking for all of us
>Got creative because I didn't have an oven
>Pretty good year overall

Fast forward to this year and its improved a lot. I have my own apartment and it has a nice kitchen - despite how tiny it is. My old roommates kept trying to bum meals off me at the beginning of the year and I somehow ended up selling homemade meals during most of this year. I'm not an awful chef, but I can make simple shit and people will just eat it up. /ck/ has been pretty helpful because I just find shit that is on sale and come here for inspiration on how I should prepare it.

>>8859633
Mold is a fungus, not a bacteria.

I THROW OUT WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT DUDE IT'S MY MONEY. I DON'T SORT OUT THE GARBAGE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO. CHANGE THE LAW IF IT MATTERS SO MUCH. OH OH I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREW OUT THE END OF THAT ONION YOU DICED, WHY YOU COULD SIMPLY PUT IT INTO A BAG IN THE FREEZER AND WHEN YOU HAVE A LARGE BAG OF VEGETABLE ENDS YOU COULD MAKE A DELICIOUS BROTH.

SHUT THE FUCK UP ENVIRONMENT FAGS ITS MY MONEY. ENJOY EATING MY TRASH DOG, WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY.

>>8859920
they still poop nasty stuff

>>8859923
I'M NOT EVEN DONE YET. ONIONS ARE SO FUCKING CHEAP WHO ARE THESE RETARDED HIPSTERS SAVING VEGETABLE ENDS ACTING LIKE THEY ARE IN THE GREAT DEPRESSION AND SHIT? DO VEGETABLE ENDS MAKE A BETTER BROTH??? MAYBE I VALUE FREEZER SPACE MORE THAN THAT.

EVERY CUNT THAT DUMPSTER DIVES JUST TALKS ABOUT THE BREAD THEY FOUND. WHOA DUDE YOU FOUND BREAD CONGRATS, HOW ABOUT INSTEAD OF DIGGING AROUND IN DUMPSTERS IN YOUR STUPID HIPPIE NINJA DISGUISE YOU LEARN HOW TO BAKE A NICE LOAF.

>>8859926
I know, and i wouldn't eat moldy jam, but yeast poop out alchohol when you feed them sugar.

>>8859936
yeast is not a mold

>18 years old
>first time living away from home, 3 housemates
>they're complete slobs, empty takeaway containers everywhere
>dishes that smell worse than diarrhoea fill the sink
>the floor is absolutely covered in fast food wrappers
>feel completely powerless, nothing I do or say will change them
>one day we get a knock on the door
>everyone gets on the floor and you can't walk a dinosaur down a hill if it has a pool full of phones. Suddenly mattress rings.
>but who was alcohol
>yes

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>>8858920
Dumbass. :^)

>>8856302
I do love it when someone stupid tries to fit in and completely blows their cover.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panty_%26_Stocking_with_Garterbelt

>>8860040
>tries to fit in
Not that anon but what do you mean?

>>8856302
You god damn philistine.

>>8859354
Then stop splitting the bill.

>>8860040
All moeshit is the same you absolute mastermind.

I live with 4 others
Someone yesterday had used the bread knife to slice garlic.
Also they all seem to love putting beans in Bolognese sauce.

Apart from that there are no major issues.

>>8860160
>beans in Bolognese sauce
This meme needs to fucking go and stay go.
I've known people that did this.
Known.

>>8859977
Fgt

>>8856310
>Indonesian crayola comic board
Best one yet

>>8860160
No issues with people not washing dishes?
Nobody pisses behind the toilet like a dirty faggot?
Nobody plays loud music and sprays the house with Axe?

How fucking lucky are you?
You can't possibly live in America.

>>8856302
To be fair it DOES look like human twilight

>>8859977
First day off of /b/? Don't worry, you'll adjust soon enough.

>>8859703
Funny because most people on this board would bitch and complain about this situation, probably making threads about it weekly.
Kudos to you for not being a man-child and dealing with the situation probably.

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>>8856299
>being so poor that you need to live with a stranger to pay the rent

Roommates don't cook so the kitchen and all of its dishes/messes are mine. Everyone either eats microwaved food or fast food. I'm the only one who takes out the garbage. One dude filled a fridge drawer with hot pockets and only cooks hot dogs in a pot. His room (and him, he's black) smell like absolute shit. Everytime he opens his door the stench wafts throughout the apartment.

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>>8861160
Pic related. It's filled with hotdogs now.

>>8861152
Its not awful desu. I usually make a 3-5 dollar profit per person for dinner meals. Sometimes I make lunch and breakfast too but I just pick up 2-3 bucks a person for those.

>>8857598
>>8858920
>>8859657
>>8859678
>>8860040
>>8860106
>>8861109
>I watch children's cartoons and brag about it

>>8859935
Are you the original LOUDPOSTER?

>>8856302
Man this would have been straight up God tier if you just wanted to trash OP

>>8862037
>P&S w/G is a kids show
Whew lad

>>8861166
aren't hot pockets supposed to be kept in the freezer

>>8862037
>dude why are all these people at the gym lifting weights?

>>8856302
homie you played yourself

>>8859958
It is a fungus.

>>8856299
Mold toxins, or mycotoxins are highly resistant to Temperature and chemical destruction. Do not eat, unless pure desperation. What worse the body does not dispose of them well and they have an additive effect b/c of it. Mold is everywhere and you can eat only so much of it before deleterious effects appear and cannot go away without hard core air purification systems.

Random migraines, joint issues, brain issues, and global inflammation.

The worst is these fuckers do not boil away, and can remain active and have an intact structure in a pressure cooker for 5 hours.

>>8856299
I have the reverse.

>be innacollege
>university has suites with kitchens
>like everything except an oven
>roommate brings some short ribs marinating in a bag a couple weeks into fall quarter
>Also brings some leftover arroz con pollo
>idfk what places even serve arroz con pollo here
>be cleaning kitchen with other room mate
>get to fridge
>ribs and leftover rice still there
>FROM SIX FUCKING MONTHS AGO

Thank god the meat was in a bag. It looked like a fucking corpse.

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>>8856299
>being poor

>mfw throwing away good food just to make people mad

> jam-mold is only surface-deep.
I've got some bad news

>>8862226
I don't know. I don't eat them and haven't had one in fucking years. Thought about buying some for when I only have 30 minutes for lunch.

>>8862226
Yes.

>>8862275
By your logic, people and cows are the same, since they're both animals.

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>>8862037
>panty and stocking
>children's cartoon

>>8862037
>bitches about anime/weebshit on 4chin
doyouknowwhereyouare.jpeg

>>8862733
>t-the people swear a-and there's sexual innuendo it's an adult animated cartoon for adults like me

>>8862768
It might be more of a juvenile/adolescent cartoon rather than an adult one, but it's certainly not a children's cartoon.

>>8862871
>ahem actually I'm not a pedophile because it's hebephilia. very different you see

>>8862877
Why do you have to bring Pedo shit into this, That kind of stuff is disgusting. If you don't like panty and stocking or thinks its juvenile that's your own opinion, but it's in now way a children's show.

>>8863063
Denial.

>>8863063
>Why do you have to bring pedo shit into this
Because your a pedophile? LOL

>>8861109
Maybe if you're a blind moron.

>>8863288
Or an adult that doesn't watch kiddo shit.

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>flatmate back in college
>bretty cool, nothing weird, kind of a fem
>asks me to pick up some sirloin and various stuff, he wants to cook for the two of us
>slicing dicing, seasonings and onions
>le kike oven time
>also au gratin taters from scratch and greek salad
>sirloin comes out looking like sliced fried gold
>take a bite, tastes good desu, everything is A+
>tell him he's a great cook.
>"I...I made it because I really like you anon"

>>8863604
How was the anal sex?

>>8863345
This whole thread proves the adage if people don't know what something is, then don't regard it.

>>8857655
i have lived that life
there are worse things

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>>8863613

awkward, he kept moaning like some girl out of a hentai.

wait wat

>roommates in college
>put juice in fridge
>roommate drinks the juice
>leaves only a membrane of juice at the very bottom

>go to cook something
>pick up wooden spoon
>the handle is burnt in multiple places like they held a lighter to it
>it's burnt so severely that half of the girth is gone

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>>8863634
Like racism?

>>8863634
Dabs should be punishable by death. Ruined weed for many people, turned them into retarded zombies. People just don't appreciate weed in legal states while I pay out the fucking dick and risk years in prison just to make sure I'm not sick at $20 a gram.
Fuck you extract humpers.

>>8863642
i lived that life in baltimore, if i wasn't racist I'd be dead

>>8863651
One less white male isn't a bad thing.

>>8863656
fite me

>>8863660
We're on the internet, /pol/. We can't fight.

>>8863662
so you admit defeat
/pol/ was right again

>>8863670
I feel no need to defend my position when I'm objectively correct.

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>>8863680
ok spergstein
give me another (you)

>>8863683
(You). We are all children in this multicultural world.

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>>8863698
good slave, give me more (you)s, now slave now!

>>8863717
What is (you)r endgame?

>>8863749
GOOD SLAVE
MORE (You)

>>8856302
I haven't even watched this show and I know it's not mlp. Nice try, pleb

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>dishpocalypse every time I walk into the fucking kitchen
>wash it all even if I used almost nothing in the pile
>few days later dishpocalypse again but going to work so don't have the time to wash it
>come back
>everything has been done except the stuff I used
>mfw this happens all the time

Moving to my own place next monday, I can hardly wait.

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>>8862037
>kid show
>is called Pant and Stocking
Gee Anon, does it need a sign saying it's not for children?

>wooden cutting board starts falling apart
>roommate blames shitty manufacturing
>decide to buy a nice one so it doesn't happen again
>find out roommate has been putting it in the dishwasher
>tell them to stop
>they agree but keep doing it no matter how many times I tell them not to
>new, nice cutting board split down the middle after 2 months of this retardation
>all our cutting boards are now plastic
>hello plastic shavings in my food

bonus
>water is getting under the sink
>landlord can't find a leak
>turns out roommate was just being a fucking spaz while washing pots and pans

>>8862768
Just watch one episode and find out yourself you fucking sperg.

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>>8860114

if panty and stocking is moe then I guess I'm not as anti-moe as I thought

>>8863792
>>8863807
>>8863816
>>8863831
Seriously. Keep defending your weeaboo pedophilia. You can look back at this conversation one day and realize how retarded you are.

>>8863861
>pedophilia
>children's cartoons
Make up your mind, dumbass.

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>>8863861
>bitching and crying about anime on an anime image board

Maybe you should consider moving to another place that suits your tastes, like reddit.

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>>8863861

I'm another poster. Got back from the bar and thought my post was funny. Didn't mean to get caught up here. That was my bad.

>>8863865
It's painfully obvious that you watch children's cartoons because you're a pedo. Don't kill yourself trying to keep up, dumbass.

>>8863873
Your projection about reddit speaks volumes. You played yourself.

>>8863880
>I don't know what projection means

>>8863882
Who are you quoting? Fucking retard.

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>>8863883
You really suck at this.

>>8863886
Keep trying, friend.

>>8863882
You're projecting reddit onto other posters. It's textbook, /v/ermin loser.

>>8863880

i know this is /ck/ but that don't mean we gotta eat his 'bate

>>8863897
This is your grand argument?

>>8857655
my father had a friend in college like that, but back then it wasnt dabs it was just straight up pot. They called him the master of time and space. I think he was the same guy who would drink hot beer out of the back of his pickup in the summer.

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>>8862037
I do love it when someone stupid tries to fit in and completely blows their cover.

>>8863637
hahaha you're gay now.

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>Thought I was going to read a fun thread
>Autistic normalfags complaining about anime again
Why do I still come here?

>>8864814
4chan really turned to shit with the 2011-2012 normalfag invasion.

>>8864824
It's always been shit mate. Always the same old shit.

t. 2007 oldfag

>>8864842
I've been here since 2006. Yeah, it's always been shit, but it got really worse really fast in 2012.
Maybe it was just the boards I visited though.

>>8864844
Yeah but I've been here since 2005 and it all went downhill after Habbo.

>>8864928
Joke's on you, cuck. I've been here since 2004. Boxxy killed 4chan.

>>8864933
Dubs are the true enemy here.
t. 2003fag

>>8864928
>>8864933
But habbo and boxxy are the best things 4chan has ever offered

>>8864949
Pipe down, normie.

>>8864953
I prefer to be called a cyborg, thanks

i used to watch so many takeout containers of food rot in the fridge.
food waste sucks, but also who can afford to eat out and waste half of it all the time?

>>8863959
YOUR father sounds like a fsggot

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>>8862396
When the fuck did I say that yeast and mold are the same? Would you like to point that out for me? I was saying that they are in the same kingdom, nothing more.

>>8863861
I don't even watch the show. I've just heard of it. Nice try, though

>have roommate
>cookies burgers the shitty meat 75%/25% fat ones
>uses a george forman type thing
>puts soy sauce on them
>soy sauce burns EVER FUCKING TIME
>stinks up everything

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>6 roommates in a huge house
>all of them eat prepackaged food
>too many fucking packages in the fridge and pantry so all I get is a small drawer in the fridge.
>first day moved in decide to make curry for everyone to get them to like me
>all of them pass, even the poorfag one
>a few weeks later tell one of them casually they should cook more because it's fun
>now whenever they see me cooking in the kitchen they laugh and say, "Anon you should cook more"

These people are such assholes.

>>8862037
>I got utterly btfo'd in the first post so let me attempt damage control by quoting everyone and calling them childish with maymay arrows

Ayyy lmao

>>8865900
Damn that sucks anon. Just distance yourself I guess

>>8865900
How could this even happen? You must be really ugly or something

>>8865900
They all think you're gay. Just wait until your lease is up and move out.

>>8863650
while I enjoy extracts, I gotta agree with you. the stuff is ridiculously strong and it's very easy to get carried away.

>>8866135
>They all think you're gay

This is very true.

>>8863831
If I see THAT FUCKING CAT one more time...

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>>8856299
>be home alone
>completely naked with just panties on
>programming with a prostate massager
>have a constant 3/4 chub
>feel hungry
>decide to make some omelettes
>head to kitchen and cook in nothing but an apron and panties
>hear door unlock
>oh shit it's my flatmate who came home earlier than usual
>no time to get dressed
>he sees me in naked apron and drops his jaw
>"h-haha you're home early"
>trying to hide my now raging boner
>he's completely frozen
>I try to think of something to lighten up the situation
>"th-the dinner isn't ready yet; do you want a bath, or would you rather have me first? haha just kid-"
>before I could finish he grabs me and bends me over the stove
>pulls out the prostate massager and reams me like there's no tomorrow
>tfw I burnt my eggs and got dried cum stain on the stove that's impossible to get out afterwards

>>8866242
What did he mean by this?

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>>8866242

you filthy degenerate!
please tell me you write this shit down elsewhere for others to read.

>>8866125
>How could this even happen?
Gee I don't know it seems like the same shit guys usually do when they have no responsibilities to worry about or women they want to impress. They turn into catty faggots and act like 12 year old girls.

>>8856299
>be OP
>be a poorfag
>be a faggot

It would be insufferable living with you.

>>8857667
I had that roommate. This dude's pride and joy was his culinary course certificate that he paid 17k USD for that he never actually used for living at any point of his life. He worked at factory for wages, lol. He would get pissy if I didn't bother eating his food, because I wanted to eat whatever the fuck I wanted to eat. Indide of the fridge was 90% his shit even though I owned the appliance. He didn't understand that he could just make less portion or freeze the fucking thing.

>>8865900
Curry is not a popular dish in the rest of the world, you mudskin.

My roomie's gf squats at our place illegally. Super traditional Chinese couple. She does everything but wipe his ass. Probably still wipes his ass. They go through sesame seed oil like mad. Im talkin' a half a liter per cooking session. She dosent know how to cook. Shes had the fire alarm go off about 5 times. Constantly has shit over pour on the coils. Stove is ruined. Causes fires etc etc. But shes super traditional and feels the need to cook for her lazy piece of shit boy friend. So she does Wok style cooking but with a frying pan from Target, ive seen this shit. puts the dial on 10 outta 10. red hot glowing. Puts the pan at an angle and stirs the ever living fuck out of it. Oil pops everywhere. she's got it on the walls and the cabinets. Huge oil stains. The stove is so ruined that it's pretty much unusable unless I want my goddamn pork chops to taste like Chairman Mao's asshole. Also, they wont use the provided trash can the apartments gave us. Both of them scatter trash in random bags around the apartment. Currently I have 4 trashbags of theirs in our living room. I asked why they wont use the trash can and he told me "It-a-smell-too-bad-for-a-trash."

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>roommate is from Mali in Africa
>he literally only eats beans
>i mean that, he eats NOTHING ELSE
>literally he will just have beans cooking on the stove the entire day and eat them for every meal
>has 9 or 10 huge sacks of dry beans all over the kitchen and his room
>multiple types of beans, lima beans, pinto beans, weird beans I've never heard of and can't pronounce the name of
>doesn't season them or have sauce, just has bowls of beans
>think he is starting to develop vitamin issues
>eyes are slightly off color
>hands are flaking and his nails seem to be chipping off
>he insists he is fine
>tried to help him by squeezing some oranges over his pot of beans so he would get some vitamin C
>he caught me, pinned me to the floor and made me eat the orange peel
>now if he sees any oranges he destroys them and I have to keep them in my room to prevent this
>tfw he is going to die soon I am sure
>he doesn't care
>he just had a shipment of 24kg of beans
>can hear him singing in French now
>keeps saying 'haricot' which is either the type of bean or the french word for bean
>not sure if he realises how sick he is making himself

>>8867418
So it seems that bean boy has achieved adulthood, it has been a decade after all.
I always wondered what would become of him. Does he still print pictures of beans and post them all over the house?

>>8866005
There's that word again.

>>8867352
Call ICE on them.