al/ck/ Chub Edition

Thought I'd finally have a sober night since I drank all my beer yesterday, but I just ended up breaking into my whiskey

>>8842462
Hey thats what it's there for.

I don't know how it's possible to be a chubby alcoholic. I mean, look at Oliver Reed, clearly as possible, the guy was more hard-core than anybody here, but I cannot for the life of me keep the single bite of food down, I can't even bring myself to chew, the very thought of food is positively disgusting.

>>8842555
Every alcoholic I know is skinny as fuck. Except my dad. But he's an outlier.

>>8842458
Yup managed to finish my bourbon, vodka and tequila. Now on to cheap beer and sleep! Listening to a super nostalgic album.

Are these threads bad for anyone else? I know that for most of you they are a good thing, but I read them on breaks at work and they just make we anxious to get home and start drinking,

>>8842609
For me they're a reminder that I need to stop, or end up like this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P6G2tag7K_8

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>>8842555
>tfw Oliver Reed-tier bear mode
I should probably lay off the beer a bit

>cook sirloin steak, make salad and smoothie
>1 bite. Choke it down. Go back to drinking
Can't do it. Such a waste.

>>8842715
Did it feel like your insides were getting torn apart by thousands of little knives?

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DUDE ALCOHOL LMAO

>>8842732
hey frick off

>>8842726
More like swallowing a tennis ball sized lump of burning coal. I'm gonna try again when I'm drunk

So is this al/ck/ general, or al/ck/-food?
>>8842732
Sup anon. Who are you?

Fuck this shit I am officially done drinking mother fuckers. I was blacked out and woke up naked in my neighbors backyard. I hope he doesn't have cameras set up or I am going to jail.

>>8843147
Damn anon. Any idea what you did? Does he have hot daughters per chance?

>>8843147
I feel like if he didn't angrily wake you up or call the cops immediately then you are probably in the clear

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>>8843182
Yah, the neighbor has a couple daughters both in high school. I fantasize about fucking one of them all the time. I am so fucking worried that some one saw me senpai. Thinking about killing myself

>>8843217
Your probably right. I am still fucking paranoid right now and filled with shame that I am that much of a pervert.

I got a question for you guys. So beer belly... that's like you're actual stomach is distended right? And it pokes out? Because I don't have that much body fat but I'm definitely getting a beer gut. Just trying to figure out what's causing it. It seems like my stomach is just too large and it's creating the gut effect. I notice too after I eat it does the same thing. Anyone else have this?

>>8842555
I wish this was me. I get wasted and can eat whole pizza. When not drinking I have a normal diet.

>>8843266
What's your question? You drank too much and now you're fat, yes

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>>8842644
Holy shit.

>>8843285
No that's the thing. My fat percentage really isn't that high, but my belly kind of sticks out sometimes. Maybe a tummy tuck procedure would fix it.

>>8843377
Post a picture

>>8843147
>I am going to jail.
For what? Having a small cock? It's not illegal to be naked, anon.

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Thoughts?

>>8843575
As mid range blends go it's one of the better ones. Very similar to famous grouse.

>>8844095
>famous grouse
thats the only scotch i drink.

>>8843394
In america it is highly illegal to be naked.
Church zone, school zone, kids within a thousand feet. You'll end up in jail for 10 years with 5 years of house arrest afterwards and you'll be considered a convicted child molester, becoming unemployable for life.

It is a good idea to wear clothes here. No, I am not making this up. You get felony sex crime charges if there are children anywhere nearby.

>>8843282
>When not drinking
Well there's you're problem.

Another 2.5 weeks on IV, possibly all in hospital. Fuck.

>>8844145
What's wrong anon?

I've been in hosp 4 times in the last 12 months. All for detox. I'm that time I've seen such revolting shit that I've developed a phobia of diseases. Good Christ I've seen some repugnant shit. I can't even go on /b/ any more because they sometimes post images of disease, and if I see it I'll be vomiting for literally months thinking about it. Last time I woke up in hosp, I almost jumped out of a window to escape, but was restrained and put in my own room. I had to pretend to be going to the gift shop, and fucking ran while their guard was down. Left all my shit, my phone, wallet, even my clothes. I just ran in my hospital gown out of the main entrance, walked 6 miles home and gulped Smirnoff like fucking never before. I hid under my duvet and got drunk, then hid in my shed when I thought they were gonna raid me under the mental health act.
Still to this day can't seek pro med help because of that shit. Wouldn't want it anyway. Ever seen an old man have pus drained from his lungs, then a fucking moron doctor trip over the drainage container and spray it all over the ward? Or watched a young dude come in fucking CRUSHED after a RTA and die in the middle of the night 10 feet away from you? How about seeing a leg so infected it was three times it's normal size and literally seeping yellow shit?

Ever experience this shot while in withdrawal, with a nervous system on fucking afterburner mode?

I do not do hospitals.

>chug

>>8844145
my sister once had to go to the hospital, they gave her like 4 bags but was only in for the day
what the hell did you do?

>>8844188
Ugh, typos. Sorry, Siri is a cunt.

>>8842458
Found a free bottle of booze yesterday, drank it down. There goes my ten days, gonna start over tomorrow.

>>8844188
Damn. Hope you don't end up there again.

>>8844188
What is it exactly about hospitals that makes them think they have the right to forcibly detain you to your bed against your will?

Doctors skeeve me the fuck out because they have no regard for personal autonomy.

>>8844194
mssa infection they give me IV antibiotics for four weeks after my blood cultures come back negative
Been here since the eighth

>>8844188
yo man hope youre doing well youre still my drinking idol
drinking some smirnoff in your honor

>>8844443
Thank you anon. I'm doing pretty well as things go. I hope you are too and I hope that one day the survivors among us will hook up for a pint of something innocent. Be careful out there bruh.

Is there anyway to pour from a new liquor bottle without getting the GLUG GLUG GLUG sound? Need to do a stealth pour right now but it's loud as fuck

>>8844499
take off that white thing on the top

regretting not buying gin with my last £20, beer and cider don't cut it any more

>>8842555
all I want to eat when i'm shitfaced is rice, fried eggs, and rare steak.

>>8844514
there wasn't one to begin with. I think it's just some weird bottle geometry that makes the noise unavoidable.

Was 3 days sober. Went to a ready last night but didn't over do it. Had 3 shots and a vodka with cranberry. Happy that i didn't drink a lot and remember the night but I feel disappointed. Gonna go buy me a 4 loko probably and start drinking. For the rest of the day. Always tomorrow right?

>>8844589
its like the boot in beerfest
always gonna be that bubble

>>8844499
Tip the glass a lot and pour very slowly.

>>8844589
As liquid exits, air goes in. It's simple physics. Unless you poor e x t r e m e l y slowly, you can't avoid it>>8844589

>>8842458
>take al/ pic
>load into Illustrator
>show vectors
>expand chubb

well done anon.
captcha: keramiken gayland

Going to be making chili for dinner and want to use beer in the recipe. Not really sure what kind of beer to use, any help?

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>>8842458
Going fine until i got a free sample of bud light with my shopping. I then got some nastro followed by 18 cans of Stella and went back and got 10 more and a bottle of wine.

Wasn't a problem with weight but I'm on light duties and packing a little gut now.

I

>>8844772
rolling rock

Girls are so lovely.

Would any girl on here like to cuddle me?
:(
I would enjoy it very much.

Thought not.

Girls are still lovely.

>>8844601
You might be able to use a straw or something stuck in the bottle to equalize the air pressure

>>8844873
Stop being so cringy anon.

If ale and women are your thing just go to a bar/pub and latch onto a mess. I have fucked so many women this way.

t. a married guy with 4 kids.

>>8844811
Gotta start doing some cardio my dude

>>8842644
This is nothing; I once got kicked out of a nightclub for running on stage during a wet T-shirt competition and got my little dick out in front of hundreds. Once outside I went to a chippy (I’m a Brit) and climbed onto the till area and tried to piss on the customers.

I don't remember any of it but my Girlfriend at the time told me and dumped me for this
.

>>8844994
I have a hernia. I work on mobile/small drilling rigs and some of that shit is heavy.

I'm having an operation soon so after a month or two i should be back in action and losing weight like a vegan.

>>8845024
wish i could get a job like that

>>8845035
What country you from?

I poured some rum into a glass then topped it off with porter. I drank it, but it was honestly pretty gross.

>>8842555
I don't know why, but I get the worst drunk munchies when I am smashed. I'll black out and wake up to a bunch of plates of half eaten shit I made in a drunk stupor.

>>8845044
canada

>>8845182
Exploratory Drilling has been at a low in recent years but in 2-3 years it’s going to pick back up.

Australia, Canada, Central Asia, West Africa and China are the places to be.

If you have any beans a 2 year degree in geology or civil engineering (a wider field) will set you for the future.

If you're a mong, drilling technician will earn you at least £70,000, that's at least a billion Canadian $.

>>8844229
How did you get the infection?

>>8844892
Who gets picked up by some married guy with baggage?

>>8845144
Well this is /ck/ so post that shit alki anon.

>>8845264
I don't do it anymore as family but when i was single i'd just go into a pub and talk to any woman drinking.

You just listen to her and her friends and agree with everything, as long as have some decent clothes and a good hair-doo you will get something even if you're ugly.

>>8843377
fix your posture, fix your pelvic tilt

>>8843377
Maybe a bit of training.

>be me
>be american
>gut
>have plastic surgery
>that's how you lose weight, son.

Really?

>>8842644
>dave letterman flirted with sandra bernhard
fuck I'm so hard right now

>>8844129
>Two 17yo and 18yo kids were sexting. Their parents knew about the relationship and were OK with it.
>17yo was sent 15 years in jail for production and distribution of child pornography. The 18yo only 2 or 3 years for sending porn to a minor.
>When asked why, the judge said it was to protect them

I'm sure kids will like being protected in jail with Bob the child molester and his friend Jamal the cannibal.

Pissing in a bush after making sure there are nobody nearby gets you on the list of sex criminals too.

>>8844499
Try pouring while holding a straw in the neck, to have a way for air to go in as liquid flows out.

>>8845134
Probably why it's not already a known cocktail.

>>8845366
Is this a joke?

In Euroland the concent is 14-16 depending on the country, not saying you have to fuck a child.

Knobbed my first at 14 and she was 15, am i a pedo in america?

>>8845259
Impossible to tell, possibly something to do with my left nut swelling up to the size of a golf ball

>>8845422
>not having golf sized balls anyway

Micro genitals.

>>8844998
>gf dumped me for exposing yourself on stage at wet t-shirt contest and later trying to pee on customers at a ship shop

fuck that cunt. you don't need her lad.

>>8845407
They were allowed to fuck when both 16-17. 17-18 was borderline (I think it's tolerated since not apparently abuse, but the judge can decide to be an asshole. Depends on state for details.)
Pornography production is different from fucking. There is no age of consent nor any excuses. Child porn is the worst crime ever for many.

Also, depends on state for 14-15.

>>8844499
pour it straight into your mouth of course

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>>8845481
The fuck are you on about, really what the fuck are you talking about. 16 to 17 dodgy but 17 to 18 illegal. Something about cheese pizza and then it's ok to fuck at 14.

What fucking country is this and have you been taking LSD

>>8844592
Right there with you mang.

1 month and 2 days sober. when does the anxiety go away? never? haha ok kill me

>>8845640
Mine really dropped after 3 months. A year and it's 10x better. Sleep also went to normal after a few months

>>8845652
oh. kinda just feel like drinking again then honestly

>>8845664
Well, you know where that road leads

>>8845667
To Fucking Awesome places, ignore that faggot.

anyone else feel like their body is shutting down?

>>8845743
The world is on the brink of nuclear war and your bothered how you behave. Punch your mother in the face, shit on a cat and spit on your neighbours before it's to late.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYhR8P_dyXg

>>8845785
meant for
>>8845664

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Im surfing the wave. Most of my time I only drink a bottle of wine a night but on nights like tonight I just get into a 'fuckit' mood. Seeing my ex for the first time in two months tomorrow. Nothing makes sense. I'm enjoying myself right now. Fuck it.

>>8845929
you're not over her though.

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>>8845950
of course I'm not, I know that. I think about her every day.

are you not over someone too?

>tfw name is Brian
>all I ate today was beer and a potato
>I'm literally a potato nigger
Fuck. Oh well.

I drive....

Thanks for the water.

fuck you brian ya wee betch

>>8845961
No. I only stay with her because i love my children.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pN-GZLVA-z0

>i luv her

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>>8846000
the girl I'm in love with doesn't want kids but kids is the one thing (after her) that I want

feels conflicted bro

>>8846019
Leave then, the longer you stay the harder it gets. If she don't want kids she's a selfish cunt and humanity is happy she ended her pool.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvntuZzXcAM

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>>8846034
hey don't talk shit about my love like that

just kidding, I'm getting wasted tonight and seeing her tomorrow. I'm a romantic drunk so I'm hoping for the best. If I was poetic enough I could describe her to you but I don't have enough words.

here's some real music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=155&v=sk8vs1pKW5A

I got the shakes for the first time in over a year today. I usually take a 2-3 day break right before they start when my body starts filling like shit. But now my withdrawals are bad enough that I can't do that anymore.

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>>8846019
She also doesn't want YOU.

Trust me bro, it's hard and you cannot think straight at the moment but you'll get over it in time and find someone better who you can share your life with. SHARE. If that woman doesn't want the same as you get out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJENtHOJUBs

>>8846019
only if your white, if ur shitskin stay with her and don't have kids pls..

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>>8846111
thanks, I appreciate your Aphex Twin pic and also I love The Killers, I'm guessing you're also 28? I'm drowning in heartbreak and I'm a melodramatic fag

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>>8846094
Don't fucking kid yourself mate, you're going to get ruined. Get on with YOUR life and let love find you not the other way round.

You call that music, the king of mardy whiny cunts:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJRP3LRcUFg

>>8846127
No i'm 36 with 4 kids like i said.

>boys dont cry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GkVhgIeGJQ

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>>8846136
>>8846111

I love you fags, I know you dudes are also in love. I can tell by the music you've posted that youre also romantics. at the very least you likr good music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi33-cITS0s

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>>8846153
I guess I’m self infatuated then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MiVtlhOW4U

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>>8846184
Wrong pic

>>8846153
>not posting the greatest New Order song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ahU-x-4Gxw

One month, no booze, here. I've been super cranky over the past couple of days. Finals are coming soon and I'm stressed. But, I am really not craving a drink. My ulcers are finally healing.

Tell me why I can drink tequila and fireball out the bottle but despise the taste of Jameson

>>8846153
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No

One for the lovers.
He fucked up his own life by fame.

>>8846233
fireball is for women.

>>8846232
Well done. Take it to another thread though faggot.

>>8846233
jameson is probably shit

>>8846238
can confirm t. tranny

>>8845422
oh my god it was a testicle infection?

>>8846246
Jameson is mid-tier, glass-bottle irish whiskey.
It's not special by itself, but when your a broke youngun its not the worst to sip on. Personally I've moved onto Bourbon.

Fireball is hardly worth the glass bottle its sold in, and it often isn't even sold in glass. It's bottom-tier, sure-fire-hangover.

You can mix it with angry orchard for an extra terrible hangover, or to get girls drunk.

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>>8846246
Show asspussy then faggot.

>>8846246
It was mostly the tequila I enjoyed.

I like the roughness

And Jager was good too.

God I love college.

>>8846262
Post feet

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>>8846266

>>8846274
Hot, now post your ass.

>>8842555
When I drink I become really productive and bake and then eat the things I bake.

I can eat a whole pizza when i'm in for the night and drinking my bottle of vodka

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>>8846280
you just got minaj'ed

>>8844499
literally swirl the bottle and form a whirlpool
the liquid and air exchange places much faster and much more quietly
but you're drunk so you probably don't have the coordination to do this without making a mess

>>8846297
I don't know what that means but show pussy

>>8846306
I haven't had the full operation yet you sick fuck.

When I'm done I would love some fireball tho xD

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>>8846312
Post shaved asshole then.

>>8846306
>>8846312
>>8846321
wut is going on here

>tfw started getting super horny when drinking lately

i've had 3 hookers around in the past month

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>>8846321

>>8846297
I would fuck this bitch up.

Some roleplay, master and slave colonial style. Some proper horrible stuff.

I did date a hot blackie once and we just had good sex:( No roleplay

>>8846321
no asshole until fireball.

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>>8846335
Fucking sweet.

>>8846338
you know thats a celebrity pop star right?

>>8842458
Currently drinking a new bottle of Amsterdam vodka distilled 5 times luxurious stuff you guys wouldn't know of. Almost as good as Ciroc distilled 8 times distilled from wine.

>>8846345
This fat arsed nig or Aphex twin?

>>8842644

>"Ah ha ha ha ha.... I'm so happy I have a son."

Could you imagine smiley-ass bootlicking Jimmy Fallon saying anything even resembling this level of cutting wit
What a motherfucker he was

>>8846349
Woah my dude I'm drinking some New Amsterdam too. Did your bottle get a THICK ass frost around it like nail deep?

Shits not bad. Just chasing mine with some lime water. If you boosted bonobos aren't drinking in a hot tub buy one as soon as you get $300 it's worth af tbqh pham.

>>8846349
>>8846377

samefag

>>8846345
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBS4Gi1y_nc

>>8846349
shit I've never heard of it because I'm literally white trash.

>>8846377
I bought it like a week ago. I rarely drink. Many alcoholics says that if a bar fight was to ever happen, reach for the Amsterdam bottle. Heavy glass makes liquor feel primo. Marketing at its' finest.

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>>8846380
Why are you such an autistic faggot?

Like as if on the off chance that was actually a same fag it would make a difference? Get a life for real you worthless loser and stay out of normal people conversations.

>>8846397
Ha yeah I went in for Popov but last minute was like, let's try this fancy bottle out. Gotta say, I'm not disappointed goes down smooth on just ice.

>>8844772
Use Jack Daniels instead.

>>8846413

third party here
never had their vodka, just their gin (which I believe is their selling point)
it seemed smooth enough but it doesn't taste like gin, it's too sweet and citrusy. But a lot of people like it for that reason.

Honestly my big fascination is that their bottle used to have a blue-green tint to it, but they've since abandoned that for a plain white-glass look that I think loses ALL of the appeal. Such a minor difference, costs so much prestige in my eyes.

>>8846428
I like Yuengling beer.

>>8846431

from Chicago, apparently they just started carrying it in Indiana now
worth ditching the Old Style for? People here will stop asking you to pick up a case anytime you're in Pennsylvania now

>>8846244

Fuck off, cunt. I've been in al/ck/ threads for years.

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>>8846413
>Get a life
>worthless loser
>normal people

Are you lost?

>>8846441
Yuengling is my go to. It's not flavorless piss water like the rest of them. But hey, it goes down easy. Yuengling has a unique flavor so I guess you either like it or not. Definitely worth a try.

Their Black and Tan isn't even that bad but stay the fuck away from their IPL. Not even "oh-so-cultured beer review" faggots can really pretend it's any good. "Wow strong after taste...Almost like death..strong hops flavor, hint anthrax"

>>8846447
Well why temp yourself in a loser drunk thread, well done for stopping but take it to reddit or something.

>>8846448
Why u mad tho he called you out?

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>>8846448
>HaHAA my secret club
>counter culture, amiright guys!?

Seriously twat for brains. You called same fag for some autistic reason and you were wrong. Now scuttle off to the degenerate hole you crawled out of dumb bitch and stop shitting up the thread.

>>8846462
>phoneposter

Just leave.

>>8846461
Not mad, very far from it.

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>>8846466
This is genuinely pathetic but I'll keep insulting you till you realize you're just a sperg spewing your impetent rage for no good ass reason.

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>>8846462

>>8846478
Carry on then. I still win.

>>8846487
Not really. He wasn't samefagging and proved it so....

>>8846478
This is sooooooooo reddit

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>>8846480
>>8846487
Drink on brothers.

>>8846493
And, why did he burst out crying? I saw his image, why is he still sobbing?

>it: the guy who called samefag but was wrong samefags himself to save face

>>8846499
Why so aggressive bro. It's just a thread. lol

>>8846504
>it:

OK

stop crying though mate

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>>8846507
No aggression here

>>8846462

That's aggression mate

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>>8846507
>>8846509
>when you season your food just right but they always add more salt

Just grow up my dude it's not a big deal bitch.

>>8846525
Don't post to attract attention then.

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>>8845571
At least I'm not alone

>>8846499
cause he just got dunked on

>>8846531
This post is retarded. Posting is exclusively to attract attention. Otherwise I'd be thinking. Just wish I could reply to a post without some autist saying samefag and talking shit when he's proven wrong.

Oh. More kiddy rageposts. Ok then.

Fighting when drunk.

Is it better than fighting sober or naw?
(real fight not millennials whoever gets the last shitposts fighting)

>>8846542
>Otherwise I'd be thinking. Just wish I could reply to a post without

English please.

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>>8846478
still waiting.

>>8846553
depends how good you are at drunken boxing

Anyways, Amsterdam liquor is starting to taste better. Bout to go cook me some chicken fried rice soon. I've been drinking ever since my hike in the park as I carried a flask with me. Getting pretty tired. 0110 over here.

>>8846560
samefag

>>8846555
Nice Trips
>>8846560
Was gonna say, getting a bit late to cook. 2am here east coast. Man, it's prolly overpriced but it beats the shit out of Popov and Smirnoff. Still looking for a middle of the road vodka that's cheap but not gross.

>>8846564
I'll kill everything you love! You think it's a game? Ask these two
>>8846554
>>8846555
I've got em both so mad they can't talk about shit but me.

>>8846568
Thanks, it's what i do.

>>8846568
I don't care how late lol. I get the munchies when I drink for some reason. I wouldn't be able to help ya decide as I stated, I rarely drink. It's fun af when I do drink tho.

>>8846553
I punched a friend in the face when he threw away my cigarettes. We were both hammered, so it wasn't very hard and when I apologized the next day he didn't remember it. So yes, fighting drunk is better.

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>>8846576
You sure did, you got them both mad, i bet they both ran off with fear.

>>8846594
Why would he throw away your cigarettes?

Is this where I talk about what I like to drink, or is this just for the ones that can't stop themselves?

>>8846594
>apologized

...

I've never been a whisky guy, I've always preferred paint thinner vodka or if I want to spend some money for something special, a herbal liquor (preferably jager or absinthe).

My roommate just introduced me to the crown royal apple whisky shit. I'm pretty sure it's the best alcoholic thing I've ever tasted.

Apple juice is my favorite drink, and when hard cider started getting big I thought that would be good, but I hated all the ones I tried. But this shit is fucking amazing. barely any burn at all it's smooth as fuck and it's 35%. I mixed some in with like, 20% sparkling apple cider and 80% whisky tonight, and it still just straight up tastes like the sparkling apple cider.

Gonna start expanding my whisky tastes now I guess. I knew it was a diverse drink, but everyone needs a starting point.


Honestly I want to get into scotch. I tried some and it didn't seem like my thing, but the deeper into this alcoholism thing I go, the more things I start to like. Scotch was always something I wanted to drink just because Ron White drake it a lot and he's been my favorite comedian since I was 12.

>>8846597
Idk. I just came in to mention I was drinking but I'm sure there's alcoholics posting/lurking.

>>8846601
>Ron White drank it a lot and he's been my favorite comedian since I was 12.
Eh, could be worse.
Ron>Bill>>Jeff>>>>>>>shit>Larry

>>8846605
Have you read this cluster fuck of a thread.

Everyone's a pisshead.

>tfw australian

>cheapest 6 pack of beer is $15

>spirits are ~$30 a 750ml bottle unless you get the half strength no name vodkas ($20)

>even fireball is $60 for a 750ml bottle

the only thing I can afford to drink is goon


also, how much do you guys typically drink in one drunking?

about 12-15 beers here

>>8846610
Larry is funny in his own way, I agree Ron is by far the funniest but idk Jeff really aint that funny. Also knowing its all a silly act makes Larry's stuff funnier imo.

>>8844188
I work in hospitals and nursing homes. And I drink like a fish every night. But stop being a pussy. We all end up that way.

>>8846614
Yeah yeah I would be distilling moonshine and providing a gallon for $20. I'd probably be pretty rich.

>>8846610
Yea I would say the same in terms of tiers.

I've grown to like other comedians.

But Ron just has this stage presence that will stick in my mind forever.

He really just outclassed the whole blue collar comedy tour and I wish he wasn't as tied to it as he is.

Bill is the only one out of the group who is ok besides Ron. I got to seem him live a few years ago and he's fine. but Ron just knows how to work a crowd. He can still do bits form decades ago and they're still funny.

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>>8846614
My sessions been day and night, i've had 28 stella's, 4 nastro, a bud light taster which actually kick it all off and a bottle of Merlot.

>>8846633
h-how do you even fit that all in

>>8846614
I've had a really high tolerance since I ever started drinking, it used to take about 750ml bottle of something that was 40% to get me smashed, but now that gets me just pleasently drunk.

I just polished off a bottle of vodka that size and am gonna start on some of that apple whisky I was just talking about.

Not gonna have to drink as much, It's nice being able to use the cheap stuff as a warm up for tasty things.

I can get the bottles of vodka I get at about 7 USD a bottle

>>8846637
alot of pissing

>>8846614
don't you guys get a guaranteed basic income or some shit

>>8846596
He's very anti-smoking, which is hilarious because I've hung out with his sister and smoked on numerous occasions.

>>8846599
What?

>>8846648
thats a minimum wage anon, yeah

its pretty high too, A mcd's worker is on about $18-20 an hour I think

I've hated whiskey after I got really sick the first time I ever drank, but I've been trying some really good ones lately and enjoying them. What's your favorite expensive whiskey, al/ck?

>>8846649
The Z, it's spelt with an S

>>8846614
Shit, can't you just brew your own beer and make you own wine? It's not that hard and would actually save you a ton of money at those prices. It's barely worth it in the USA.

>>8846661
It can be either way, and this is an American website.

>>8842458
haven't had a drink in a week famalama i'm doing it

>>8846665
Massive pain in the dick though, I dont drink enough to bother with it.

Way cheaper to be a stoner (in my area at least), and i prefer that anyways

>>8846668
on a british based HTTP

>Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee

>>8846678
I'm an American, it would be pretentious if I used an s.

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First day drinking all week.

>>8846684
fair enough, speak spanish if you don't like it.

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>>8846655
The most expensive whisk(e)y I've had was wild turkey 101, which gets me absolutely shitfaced for some reason. There was this bottom shelf single malt whisky which was smooth as a baby's ass too. Just under $20 for a fifth tho so not that expensive.

All da alcoholics where you at!

>>8846856
9.25 in the morning on a Sunday, bro. I'm here, but I'm waiting for the shops to open. 45 minutes to go.

>>8846880
35*
Also feeling kinda horny for a change. Which means I'm gonna hit on every 3.14 I see. I have a bad feeling about this. One day I bet I'll accidentally hit on an underage girl or a feminist or someshit.

>>8846880
>cuck ass town doesn't sell on Sundays
>dipshit county has an alcoholic tax that they love to increase
Seriously bout to whack those fuckers in the city/county government desu.

5 AM EST, right here. Drinking vodka and the shitty Michelob Ultra somebody left in my fridge. I've come to realize that binge drinking on the weekends just becomes full-blown alcoholism when you have 4 day weekends. Spinning Steely Dan's Aja and spinning.

>>8846633
this is close to Alice Cooper tier drinking, I don't know if I have to congratulate you on your prowess or recommend you see a doctor (both probably desu)

>>8847036
But isn't Cooper what we should all long to be?

https://youtu.be/46lHQT-_0Ig

>>8842555
>I cannot for the life of me keep the single bite of food down, I can't even bring myself to chew, the very thought of food is positively disgusting.

This should be a banner for for /ck/

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I unironically like this drink, what's wrong with me

Guys. Please eat something today. Just force it. Swallow something filling and high in fat. Anything. All I had was 2 bites of a sandwich, and I feel so much better holy shit.

>>8846525
Just grow up my dude and not be such a fucking dick. Did your mom not love you enough or something?

>>8846536
This is the stupidest thing i've ever seen

>>8846543
/ck/ is runed

>>8847369
that shit is huge where I live. Galway, Ireland

How long can I store lime and lemon juice before it degrades noticeably?

Bit tired of juicing them as needed.

Is good vodka a meme? Is there really that big of a difference between a $12 handle and a $20 bottle?

>>8848200
It's a mystery to us all.

>>8848200
if you drink it warm and neat, yeah, big difference. does anyone do that? yeah, russians, probably

once it touches other ingredients and gets dumped over ice, the only difference is the hit to your wallet

>>8842458
Can someone please post that disgusting looking jug of bulk alcohol from Africa?

>>8848200
only if you drink it neat or in a cocktail that exposes the vodka's flavour.
really cheap vodka generally smells and tastes like rubbing alcohol, but above a certain price point there is a serious case of diminishing returns
midrange is generally your best bet unless you're extremely rich or don't care about taste at all (or are only going to drink it with juice etc.)

How long to quit drinking before the tolerance fades?

>>8848660
couple of weeks before it's noticeable for me

>tell myself tomorrow is the day im going to get sober
>wake up
>take shot
why am I like this

Anyone else totally batshit insane when they drink, like putting yourself in dangerous situations? For example, when I was 21 I was running into on coming traffic on the highway. I was eventually arrested.

>>8847735
make a syrup or liqueur instead

>>8848323
I know what you're talking about but don't have the image

>>8848933
No

I've been sober for 11 weeks. Planning on 6 months. Wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't have a warrant for a DUI from 2013.

feel pretty good, my muscles stopped hurting a couple weeks ago, which I assume is from all the exercise of doing court related shit. Saved some money, but the legal battle drains it away anyways. I get cravings for cocktails, and whit beer mostly, the though of a piss-beer pops into my mind a lot. No desire to drink hard liquor. Finding restaurants is hard because I always eat alone and it's always at a bar and ordering a drink is something I usually did all the time.

I'm sure I'll drink again but not sure how that's gonna affect me, and if I could even quit the next time I do. It's so easy to be drunk and stay drunk because while I have been sober, life is still fucking miserable.

>>8842458
What's the best mixer for cheap-ass vodka bros?
>inb4 just drink it straight

>>8848999
Nothing beats OJ but 4real just drink it straight

>>8842738
Yep. Magically its easy once you get a fresh buzz on. Sick eh.

>>8844129
Man i feel like the pedo hysteria is completly out of control. Some kids are gonna get molested, but that doesnt mean society as a whole should roll back the clock to the spanish inquisition.

>>8844188
This is what i like about alck threads

>>8844518
You dont want to graduate to liquor. That when it all starts to fall apart.

>>8847005
Stay away from liquor. Carefully control your wine Intake. Most of your boozing should be beer. This is how you avoid rock bottom.

>>8848323
Its called mustang or something. From sierra leone if iirc

>>8848933
Yes. I have gotten into some dangerous situations while wasted. The kind that coukd have landed me in jail for a while or had my ass beat. Just pure lucky really

>>8848973
Congrats dude

I hope you keep it up

>>8849132
What about those guys that drink like 30 cans a night of beer

>>8848933
CrAzY

>>8849170
Its hard too get drunk on normal beer because your stomach fills up. I dont know how those guys do it. Imagine all the pissing

>>8849170
Better than the same volume of vodka. Stomach volume is a shit limitation to alcoholism, but it's better than no limitation.
Also, it's way harder to reach the point of drinking 30 cans/day than it is to reach a 75cl bottle of vodka per day.

>>8848973
You could try replacing whit beer with another drink. I drink Orangina soda since it was the only drink not overloaded with sugar in the soda machine at my last rehab. I'm not a big soda drinker, so I have them almost as treats.
I've drank sparkling water at restaurants since I was a kid, it helps I guess.

>>8849170
It takes effort and talent to put away a 30 in a night along with years of 0 self awareness to build up to that point. Whereas I'm pretty sure any modest drinker could down a fifth of liquor in under a couple hours.

can't take much more of this.

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>>8849292
neither can I

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>>8848323
This one?

So, if I bought shitty silver tequila by accident, will lemon/orange juice salvage it? Should I try a few more stores for margherita mix?

>>8849931
It's shootable if you have the salt and limes. Otherwise, I'd just get margarita mix.

>>8849905
not him but yes

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>>8845134
oh god that reminds me of the time I tried to use red wine as a mixer for spiced rum

it did not end well

>>8849905
Is this a fucking motor oil jug

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Got some total wine house brand spiced rum and coke, gunna try not to bender it... who the fuck am I kidding it's a 1.75 see you in hell

I convince myself i'm not a full blown alcoholic because I only drink beer. back when I drank bourbon my health seemed way worse.

>>8848999
Nothing, and i mean nothing beats cranberry juice as a mixer and/or chaser for vodkas.

Lost my job, bones crack. I wanna die.

>>8850304
Me too. How'd you do it?

Showed up too drunk too many times. I was a mechanic. I'd drink on the toilet at work. You?

I've got some plum sake that tastes awful, like medicine. Is there anything I could try mixing it with to make it taste better? Do I just need better taste buds?

On day 5 of being sober after drinking ~20 shots/vodka a day for past 7 years......so bored I want to fucking kill myself, how do people "be sober"

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>>8849905
Nothing wrong with plastic bottles

>>8848200
Cheap to midrange is a subjectively noticeable improvement.

Midrange to top shelf is placebo.

Just like pretty much every other liquor.

>>8846330
I always get massively horny during hangovers/withdrawals.

>>8850529
Have other hobbies, and be bored sometimes.

Being drunk makes pretty much anything fun - when you're not drunk you need to find things to do that are ACTUALLY fun.

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Who feels a bit like puking right now?

Come on, let's go do it together.

anime out

Just got out of the hospital after being admitted Easter weekend. Bit of a bender.

>>8846633
I don't understand why people like Stella's, it tastes terrible to me

>>8850590
I gotta wait for withdrawals before I start puking. I'll be there in a few hours

>>8850593
Drank three days straight to celebrate the death of our lord. In the city Easter Sunday, don't remember much of the evening, vague recollection of spending time partying with strippers. Woke up in hospital on the Tuesday. Had a "suicidal amount" of cocaine in me. Kept there for the week for counseling/rehab.
First night out, what do I drink guys?

>>8850607
Have my go to amount.. Two pints of vodka. Don't forget to piss yourself

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>>8846610
Larry is kino. You don't understand his act and message at all if you don't realize that.

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>>8849905
How can I get shit like this shipped to me in the states? I want to experience swill from around the word. Pic related.

>>8849905
$3.65

>>8844188
Anything you just said is part of life. I don't know what's so horrible in all that.

In fact, i think in many ways that being addicted to alcohol, or depressed all your life, is far worse than dying in a hospital or having an infected leg. It's all about the length of the suffering.

FUUUUUUCK

FORGOT MY PC MOUSE WHEN I TOOK MY LAPTOP TO UNI DORM 300KM AWAY

REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8850956

get rkt fgt gg no re

Been drunk 4 or 5 days in a row trying to maintain a buzz for as long as possible. The buzz negates the hurt from being dumped out of nowhere.

Been through a bunch of little drinks as well as the majority of a 1.14L Absolute vodka. Gonna be finished the vodka and out of booze officially tomorrow.

Advice? Ask me anything? Not really drunk at the moment, it's 2am, hopefully going to be asleep soon.

Faced with the dilemma of finishing my gin now or saving it for the morning. What's an alc to do?

>>8851041
a REAL alc would have abra cadabrad that gin before that even became a dilemma

>>8851041
this >>8851049
if you have the self control and foresight to save some liquor for later, you ain't an alcohol
you should start tapering while you can still control yourself

>>8851064
Just coming back from a few months sober so I'm still in my " I can drink in moderation now" phase. Maybe I am drinking in mideration but I've still been drunk 24/7 for the past couple weeks. Goin to be completely dry in 3 weeks weather I like it or not so I figure might as well drink while I can

>>8847325
underrated post

>>8850820
Would you like a burberry hat with that?

>>8850595
It used to be 5.2 when all the other draughts 3.9 or 4.1, when i first started going to the pub it was only 20p more. It's the only ale I drink unless i go to a beer festival and then drink real ale.

So what's the best music to listen to while drun/ck/?

>>8851312
nigger

>>8851099
Ok, I;m drunk right now, so forgive me. So, what I don;t understand about alcoholism is that people claim that they are "cured" of their alcoholism while at the same time being teetotal because that would make them go back to being an alcofrolic again. Excuse me but surely if one is "not an aalcoholic" one is able to drink moderately while being in control of onesself, therefore, if one if "over" alcoholism they shuould be able to drink. If you're too afraid to go oput because you'll lose control then sorry m* yoou're still an alcoholic.

this board is /pleb/

nobosy is posting

I want underage /b/ to leave.

>>8851099
>I've still been drunk 24/7 for the past couple weeks.
Don't mean to be rude, but what sort of moderation is that?

the shakes and sweats are starting

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>>8851005
my advice is don't run out or you'll hate life real quick....

>>8850405
I'd call in sick for weeks at a time off on benders, was doing it for going on years now, came back the other week, no bueno

Oh God, it's one of THESE days.

Drank from 3pm Friday to last night.

Now I'm stuck at work for 13 hours feeling like shit. Phenibut is luckily kicking in, but I still feel sick.

I have a to do a ton of shit today and I can't see doing it without running out for some nips, but that means my hangover will just go into Tuesday.

I swear 85% of my drinking is to ward off hangovers at this point.

Was at work and had such a bad panic attack that my body seized up and I couldn't move. They had to drive me to the hospital and I had another one there where they confirmed that's what it was. Work isn't firing me but they're scared it's going to happen again.

My relationship is getting rocky. Someone who loves me unconditionally, but I don't think they can take much more.

Really considering an heroing.

>>8846542
>>8850607
Beer.

>>8851765
Whats Phenibut?

I tend to drink these days from habit and withdrawals.

>>8851765
Its not hangovers. Sounds like you have withdrawals

>>8851774
Sucks dude.

>>8851784

It's a GABA analog developed in the Soviet Union. They used to give it to cosmonauts for anxiety.

It's very mild, not much of a party drug because it has an awful side effect profile at high doses, particularly nausea, but at lower doses it is a good anti-anoxlitic. Plus it's legal online.

>>8851790

IDK, because I normally don't drink on weekdays. I made it three weeks at the start of Lent and felt fine. I just started getting awful hangovers about two years ago and now I'm ALWAYS busy and can't afford to even be hung over on weekends.

Can anyone recommend a small freezer so I can keep ice and shitty vodka in my room?

Hands were shaking so bad I could barely hold my change at the beer store. Luckily I had a fuck ton of bottles to recyle for more beer money. I want to die.

gonna get a sixer and a bunch of nips soon. what snacks should i get (i will actually get them if the place has them)

Greetings from AA anons!

>i need a drink

>>8842644
Please fucking be in London.

>>8846019
How did you get so lucky to find a woman who doesn't want kids.

>>8846610
More like
dogshit>>>>>>>>>>>>>all four of them

>>8852007
yeah really. I tried that shit. get ready to pet more people down

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>>8852165
let*

>>8851765
Is phenibut any good for hangovers? I suppose it might be, benzos are.

>>8851430
What makes you say that?

I was sober all morning, albeit I slept til 1pm. Watched some Archer, drank some of the vodka, and went for like a 4,5km run. I'm back now and I'm still not drunk.

Upset of course, can't catch my buzz. Lonely. Upsetting to have nobody who wants to speak with you. I always end up alone, so it's no surprise.

>>8852730

Kind of. It's great for post binge shakiness and anxiety. Not to great for acute "I pounded a fifth last night," hangovers as it can make nausea and fatigue worse.

It's helped me cut back. I'll do 1-2.5 grams before I go out and make myself stick to ultra light beers. Beck's light is like 2.4%. I can drink most of a 12 pack,
Catch a buzz because phenibut lowers tolerance, and still have had only like 5 real beers worth of alcohol. Been trying to smoke weed more if I'm alone too, since the anxiety isn't so bad if I'm alone and weed doesn't give hangovers.

It's no Xanax though. I had a friend give me Xanax and amphetamines when I had a super hangover and I felt like a million bucks in 20 minutes.

>>8848999

A stiff pour of shitty 99-cent-per-liter lemon juice, 1 part lemon to 1-or-2-parts liquor.
Lots of ice
Maybe just a splash of soda for some sweetness to balance out the sour. Failing that, just get a bigger glass and use more ice and some water to dilute it

Seriously, you do that, the foulest shit on earth will go down tolerably. The intense sour completely distracts your brain from the rubbing-alcohol taste and burn.
It's like a bummy version of vodka and lemonade.

Feel like I'm going to end up on the streets at some point. Being addicted while homeless. That'll be nice. Genuinely scared.

>>8844998

i fucking love you anon, thank you for making me laugh

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>>8842458
guys i think i might be an alcoholic

>>8850820
Post another request in the next thread and I will mail some to you if you pay p&p via btc. It's what I'm drinking right now. The world needs to know how truly vile this stuff is.