I tried my hand at some American cuisine. How did I do?

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>>8778981
Needs more freedom.
3/10

>>8778981
Obviously European style biscuits. 2/10, use Oreos next time.

>>8778994

This.

Or Chips Ahoy.

>>8778981
no snickers, no bacon, not deep fried/10
back to the kitchen boy

>>8778981
Actually, our biscuits are more like unsweetened scones with more leavening and the gravy we use has a bit of cream or flour applied to drippings.

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Needs more sugar.

next time post some bait that hasn't already been posted 5732023 times

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>>8778981
Needs cheese food

>>8779076
this

But OP already knew this and was just memeing anyway.

10/10 because perfect amount of re-appropriation of other cultures and fucking it up

>>8778981
Needs more cheese, and more HFCS.

Inwardly, I despair because you ruined perfectly good biscuits.

>>8779097
>sugar

I think you mean High Fructose Corn Syrup. Or are you some sort of commie?

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>>8779109
I bet that goes nicely with meat food product.

>>8778981
Where is the ketchup?

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>>8778981
I tried my hand at authentic British food, how'd I do guise? Next up: jellied eels!

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MMMMMM HMMMMM MMMM!!!

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Then I went for a real Scandinavian delicacy! Behold, boiled sheep head!

>>8779484
>>8779498
You're almost as triggered as a toddler finding his daddies gun.

>>8779515
Why fucking boiling?
Why has the world not come together as one and recognized boiling something in water as the universal worst way to cook anything and everything?

>>8779076
Silly drip.

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And let's not leave out Germany! Blood tongue sausage! Absolutely divine!

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>>8779528
Stay mad faggot

>>8779549
Looks pretty good to be honest. Have you ever eaten tongue, or blood sausage? No of course you haven't, but you "know" they "must" be bad, right?

"Eww, icky, tongue! Eww, phhp, blood!" That's you, that is.

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>>8779528
Oh, you! I'm just a huge Anglophile! Here's another common dish eaten in every household in the UK!

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Anyway let's get back to some more delicious American food. Here's a delicious plate of Chitterlings.

>>8779590
You'd think that, but as delicious as Haggis is it's mostly only eaten in Scotland and only then normally only at certain times of year. It's a shame, really.

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>>8779597
Boiled pigs intestine always goes nicely with a bowl of...uh...whatever this is. It probably isn't diarrhea, anyway.

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And every Britons favorite Sunday brunch! Mmmmmm! Just like mum makes!

>>8779618
>image.jpg

Now at a guess those are lower intestines. Which, when boiled, makes the classic Southern AMERICAN dish...Chitterlings.

Oh look, there they are >>8779597

>Ameriburger is so enraged he can't even shitpost right and plays himself

Son you need to calm down before you shoot someone.

>>8778981

Not enough high-fructose corn syrup, try again.

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And Nigel's mum says, "Wot!? Why eat em by the box when ya can eat em' by the bucket ya daft cunt!" -a traditional toast.

>>8779654
>Korean sea worms
>British

This is a psychotic level of sad, anon. You really need to put your computer down and step outside (put on your bullet proof vest and make sure the battery on your scooter is charged first, obviously).

>>8778981
kek'd out loud, good job anon

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>>8779663
That's the British Dong Eel, silly Anon! You must be from the colonies! Here's another classic: jellied eels and mushy peas!

>>8779681
>That's the British Dong Eel

...like I said, you're displaying a desperate & psychotic level of shitposting.

>jellied eels and mushy peas!

Well, both of those are British; but that isn't mushy peas you sad lemming.

>>8779697
Looks like somebody hasn't had his daily dose of dong and is feeling little surly! Go on out there to the pub and get a big one to chew on! For queen and country! Pip pip wot!

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>>8779733

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>>8779625
>Calm down before you shoot someone.
Don't temp the burger, they're dumb enough to do it.

Some really weak shitposting going on in this thread.

>>8779549
>>8779681
I'd try both of these. Any britbongs in this thread, are the eels in that gravy still with the bones inside them? I think I'd definitely have some if they were de boned.

>>8779948
They're filleted or filléd or whatever the name is.

It's just the flesh.

>>8779606
Woah stop right there cream corn is legit.

>>8779948
You pretty much can't get eel now; the population collapsed a few years ago. REALLY collapsed.

>>8779590
The haggity pudding looks great, but you don't serve it with salad. Haggis and salad, anyone? Nah, get tae fuck.

>>8778981
>>8779076
>>8779118

What does the white gravy actually taste like? I've never had it and frankly it doesn't look that appealing, but it seems to be popular enough in America that it must be pretty good.

Eel is fucking delicious.
Wouldn't want it jellied though.

Do Americans realise that jellied eels are an outdated meme dish specific to a small area of London, and not a daily staple eaten by everyone? Of course not because they are incapable of separating 4chan memes from reality

>>8780218
>Do Americans realise

No

>>8780218
You're talking about people who's sole knowledge of other countries is film, television and /pol/

>>8780218
Do europeans realize that they live in the ruins of millenias of europeans being europeans and now they have to redefine standards of living to not look like a shithole?

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>>8780222
>>Do Americans realise

15% of 'Merican's can't even read at a fucking 5th grade level.

No. those niggers don't realize shit.

>>8780264
Aw this is adorable

>>8780282
That guy on the left looks chiil af tho

>>8780289
He's stoned.

>>8780156
It's more popular in the South. Being from Wisconsin, I've never cared much for it. I find that it doesn't taste like much besides salt, especially if it's made from bacon grease. The gravy made from breakfast sausage gets some peppery flavor imparted and is a little better

>>8780342
So it's basically a roux with bacon or sausage grease as the fat?

>>8780343
Not him but yes, you've basically nailed it.

>>8780284
>be european
>go into butcher shop
>"can I have a kilogram of eye of round"
>"that will be fifteen euros plus tax"
>grab a fifty
>"tax is now 50% higher to support migrants"
>muddle some broken italian at the polish cashier
>get to the bus station
>gypsy asks for change
>no change because of the new taxes
>smile and shrug
>gypsy snags bag, spits in it, hands it back to me
>a muslim snags the bag
>get on the bus
>sitting next to boris
>boris is reading war and peace
>in russian
>out loud
>every time he comes across something funny he looks at me and gives me a nudge
>smile politely
>think about how much I'd rather be reading stephen king instead
>fucking boris
>get off bus after half an hour
>go inside my renovated commieblock
>scrap together some vegetables
>can't tear apart the cabbage because I have the build of a skeleton
>go next door
>oh god it's boris he just moved in apparently
>ask for a shiv
>yell loudly for 20 minutes
>receive a copy of angela merkel's memoirs in russian, a copy of russian plans to invade estonia and wire cutters
>fucking boris
>get back home
>murder the cabbage with wire cutters
>look around
>make sure nobody is looking
>top the vegetables with my jar of preserved american semen
>"here's my dinner tonight /ck/, r8 pls. btw why can't americans eat healthy like me?"

>>8780371
>Someone was so buttflustered they wrote/posted this
>Not speaking at least 6 languages

U arm Amerikaans

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>>8780371
Bit scary someone typed this out really isn't it?

>>8780156
I can't explain the taste because I'm an idiot, but it's heavenly and very simple to make. You brown some sausage in a big skillet, crumble it, coat the meat with a handful of flour, slowly add milk, stir, add more milk, stir, add salt/pepper, stir... Repeat the milk/s/p process until it's to your liking. I typically use close to 1/2 gallon of milk because I like mein gravy thin.

>>8779588
My french grandmother once fed me a blood sausage and made me try to guess what it was, and i guessed it was just poop still in the casing.

>>8780402
>poop still in the casing.
Y......your poop comes out in casing?

>>8779531
What about pasta?

>>8778981
Not bad, could use some condensed milk or whipped cream to add dairy and make it a bit healthier.

>>8779531
>Why has the world not come together as one and recognized boiling something in water as the universal worst way to cook anything and everything?
Go ahead and tell me how you cook rice then, genious...

>>8779820
Is there a reason why you chose that picture?

>>8780416
> Not eating food packaging so your shit comes out prepackaged

>>8780371
Borris seems like a fun guy

>>8780416
Sausage casings are traditionally intestines, no?

>>8780371
Y u so mad?

>>8780371
Embarrassing

>>8779681
>Mushy peas

If your gonna shitpost at least get stuff right.

>>8780371
>Plus tax

No where in europe says plus tax.

>>8780371
Do eurocucks really live like this?

>>8780371
>plus tax
>in euroland
anger make you say fucking retarded things

>>8780947
They add enough vinegar to turn the dead sea acidic in britbong. Boris sometimes reads vodka label out loud instead.

>>8780476
Fried rice

What do you actually do with corned beef?

>>8781032
excuse me can you read the post that's right above yours you goddamn waste of sperm and eggs

>>8781032
chop it up and make corned beef and hash

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ITT: so many buttblasted Bongs and their estranged wives.

>>8778981
>being this yuropoor

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>>8779549
Blood and tongue loaf is delicious you pitiful fuck.

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>>8778981
well meme'd my friend

Jokes aside, why is that gravy clear?
Did you use a store-bought mix? It looks like colored water.

>>8781647
it's syrup
meme post about 'biscuits n gravy hurrdurr'

>>8781654
Is syrup often called gravy in bongistan? First I've heard of it.

>>8780371
Hehe my cat's name is Boris, I give your post a 3/10 you've got potential kid but lurk more

>>8781637
Jesus Christ
>Europeans

>>8779606
>google picture of creamed corn
>title is creamed corn
>pretend to not know what it is

>>8779109
You do realize American Cheese is just a young cheese melted down and mixed with milk then mixed smoothly together and either sold as a brick or sliced right? It was created by a cheese monger who kept getting complaints from housewives that the cheddar he was selling them would not melt evenly so he experimented in his basement mixing milk and cheese until he got a solid evenly melting cheese.

There is the "Imitation American Cheese" you gotta watch out for, that stuff is vile and wont melt no matter how hot you get it. Bought a packet once as a starving college student, couldnt get it to melt on my sandwhiches, eventually just slapped a slice down on a hot skillet and watched it for ten minutes. It didnt melt, it didnt sizzle, it didnt burn, nothing, it was fucking terrifying, and ofcourse my tard brain still equated unmelted cheese slice to being safe to touch, burned my fingers testing out that fucking idea.

>>8780264
>millenias

>>8779454
>>8779484
>>8779498
>>8779515
>>8779549
>>8779590
>>8779618
>>8779654
>>8779681
Jesus. No wonder yuropoor's love calling Americans fat.

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>>8779109
>"American Flavored"

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>>8781672
>>8781654
>>8781647
Actual gravy consumed by actual human beings in the first world is made with meat stock, so that's why it looks brown and clear

We make other sauces with milk, cream, flour, and sometimes egg, but we know to call those concoctions by their proper names, 'white sauce' or some such. Not gravy

Fucking stupid yanks

>>8780156

I've received mixed messages from people both in Ireland and the UK. Some people love it and other people hate it. Then again, the gravy we have in Montana is a lot heavier on the meat than the flour or whatever they tend to use in the southeast. Our biscuits are also usually made with cast iron and I don't know if that's the norm elsewhere.

>>8781032

Sandwiches, or we have it with fermented cabbage, mustard and potatoes. I can only speak for my region which is heavily populated with people of Bavarian or Scandinavian heritage.

>>8779528
>someone makes a joke
>return with your own banter
>TRIGGERED
lmao
i thought brits were supposed to be kings of banter?
if u cant take the heat stay out of the cooking board, faggot

>>8781847

Brits left their banter behind in favor of being offended by anything that didn't agree with them. Why isn't humor still the best way to confront adversity? Fucking kids and their inability to deal with an opinion other than their own.

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>>8778981
This is real American cuisine

>>8781958
you don't get any sauce with the nuggets?

also i came into this thread for shitposting, and i was not disappointed

>>8779484
If you baked that for longer I'd actually try a slice.

>>8781701
Cream is a dairy product. I have no idea how you make cream from corn.

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>>8781847
>>8781856

>>8779484
O B S E S S ED

>>8779109
Oh god no.

>>8779528
Clappyfats on suicide watch.

>>8780156
When Americans eat scones it's not actually a gravy, it is a bechamel sauce that uses meat fat instead of the butter.

>>8779454
Grew up on this slop. It really is the worst but man i loved it.

>>8778981
I'm American and I've never seen those crackers 4/10 - try again

>>8779076
Your an idoit.

>>8779515
smalahove isn't boiled