morning coffee

>>8755546
>don't talk to me until I had my first coffee
>person proceeds to drink his coffee, finishes it
>talk with the person again, still in a shitty mood

So what exactly was the coffee for?

>>8755546
to get you to shut up for five minutes?

>>8755556
It's not magic.
It just helps the person drinking it feel better, it doesn't make the person they're talking to less annoying.

>>8755546
>abandon all hope, ye who enter here
>the end is near
>all is empty, you may approach

We bought a cup like this for my sister in law. Every morning she wakes up in a bad mood, you can actually tell if she has had coffee yet simply by having a conversation with her.

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>me when my son's stepfather talks to me before I've had my 4th triple espresso.

I need exercise in the morning to help my mood.
Before that I kind of hate everything and just want to stay in bed forever.

I wish I could drink coffee before the exercise to help motivate me to do it since I always drag my feet for like an hour before picking up a weight... but doing exercise with any kind of stimulant in me makes me feel like crap.

I suppose, buy the logic of some people who like to talk shit about morning coffee drinkers, my morning exercise is bad for me because they don't need it to feel good when they wake up.

ugh... dont reply to this post until I've had my morning coffee... UGH

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>>8755607
>when my wife's son talks to me before I put 'cha in my 'sso

>>8755611
did u have ur coffe yet`

>>8755611
Too bad cocksucker

>>8755611
ugh is such a cunty word / sound / onomatopaeia

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Do coffee actually helps or is it just a meme? I am sure that most of them are pretending. I drank like 1 litre of coffee once, I had to work at night but it didn't help a bit, not to mention it tastes like shit, why even drink coffee anons?

>>8755663
is this a shoop

Shhhhh.

*Pours a half -liter of sugared water and soybean oil, dunks my donut in and takes a big swig*

Wheeeeew.

NOW you may speak.

>>8755781
no its just his glasses and dumb hair and beard that make it look like jimmy neutron

>>8755809
>half liter of sugared water and soybean oil
don't forget shittons of syrup, two oreos and a whole vegan twinkie

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>Don't talk to me until I've had that first sip

>>8755847
for me

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>>8755781
no

>>8755834
Why do I have the urge to beat his face in with a pipe?

>>8755546
That's a sign for coffee addiction.
If you need a drug to get your body running in the morning, you're addicted.
Just admit it and everybody can move on.

>>8755907
>those skinny arms

What the fuck

>Hey anon have you had your morning coffee and cigarette yet?

Literally every morning from my coworker. I don't know if it annoys me or not.

>>8755907
oh my fucking god of course he smokes weed
I fucking knew it

>>8755950
Do not bully the ayy weed lmao big hair man. He genuinely brings a smile to my face every time I see him, he's so fucking goofy looking.

>>8755950
because you have anger problems?

>>8755546
should just be honest and call it a general at this point you flaming faggot

>drink hot coffee
>can't taste shit
>let it cool off
>remember i made coffee 3 hours ago
>can finally taste the real flavor (notes of cirtrus and all that bullshit description on it)
what the fuck?

>>8755546
I hate that stale "ugh, don't speak to me once I have finished this hot beverage about which the Gilmore Grills have told me that it's ok to be a total bitch without it" meme

Why are coffee drinkers such insufferable faggots?

>>8757378
you're talking to me before i've had my coffee idiot

>>8755546
>unironically pretending that a small ass cup like that can actually hold a significant enough amount of coffee to contain a significant enough amount of caffeine to actually have any measurable effect on the human body and mind

>>8755556

coffee takes like an hour to peak

Not jocking here, you guys should only use stimulants for very specific reasons. Enforcing this habit of only waking up after coffee, or drinking numerous cups of it throughout the day isn't good for you. If you can't function without it, something is really wrong, and it's starting to rust.

>>8755546
>I LITERALLY can not function without my brown sugar water

>>8755546
>measurement lines meant to advise others about coffee drinking progress from a comfortable distance
>mug is opaque
Why does capitalism do this?

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>UGH don't talk to me ya facking cunt
>*drinks mycotoxin*
>*gets digestive problems and boulder shits from tannic acid*
>NOW you may le speak

>>8755546
i quit. caffeine tolerance became so bad that i needed multiple coffees just to feel normal, and had zero stimulation. i have like 3x the adenosine receptors of a normal person

>>8755611

I don't even let my hubby talk to me before my morning coffee

>>8758704
How does it feel being the only human being ass-ravaged over dark-roast coffee?

>>8758723
I drink dark-roast every day and my shits are nice and smooth as a niggers dick so ugh, seriously could you, like, not?

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>never drank coffee
>people are forbidden from speaking to me

>ugh I need like 2 to 3 vodka tonics before I can face the world

>>8758732
I really, really like this post. I intend to reply to it twice.

>>8758732
Here's your extra (You)

>dont talk to me until ive had my coffee
>meanwhile I drank til 2 in the morning, woke up with my head splitting yet am somehow more functional than mr coffee fag by the time i get to work

>start to drink coffee more often because have been sleeping worse and in new environment where everyone drinks coffee
>heart hurts every so often and terrified the coffee is going to make it explode

>>8755546
guys.. guys? are you listening? well you better be you fucking lowlife because its my mourning coffee time. Thats right its my ME time. Absolutely no talking, you wouldn't be conversing with another human whilst I bathe in my own self importance would you? I need to put on my ugg boots and go talk to about self-care and nutella with a bunch of other ugly hipsters, you wouldn't be talking in MY coffee drinking experience would you?

>>8755761
People who are grumpy before their first cuppa are addicts suffering withdrawal.

Could somebody red pill me on whole coffee beans?

Can you buy them in larger quantities and cheaper than pre-grinded stuff? I'm prepared to pay for the initial investment of a coffee grinder, I just want it to be cheaper and better in the long run.

>>8759359
they're generally cheaper and will always taste better if you grind them right before you brew
just remeber to get a good grinder and use the right settings for your preparation method

>>8755950
Because you didnt take your morning coffee yet.

Don't talk to me until I've had my morning tequila.

Who else just likes the taste of coffee and destroyed any chance of caffeine actually working?

>>8759432
me, kinda
when I need a real kick I just go for yerba mate, I only drink coffee on weekends

>>8755546
are there adults who actually behave like how it is implied in this pic?

>>8759568
quirky lesbians mostly

>>8759568
Yep, my old boss

SHUT UP YA FRIGGIN HIPSTER FRUIT!!

how are you supposed to know how much the person drank if the mug isn't clear?

this is fucking retarded

>>8759609
You think about these things far too much.

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>no worries boss, just give me 5 to finish this my break.

>gf used to "demand" coffee
>First stage of our relationship so I got some to stock in the pantry
>She'd receive it happily
>Leave her with it as I go out to work
>I come back after work
>Nearly full cup sitting there cold
>She doesn't understand why I am mad at waste

Don't date Americans guys

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Me, at 6.55 am

>>8755993
>he thinks those arms are skinny
Oh boy am I embarrassed...

>>8759611
>>8759609
Yeah Anon, don't overthink it. You obviously have the ability to see through the mug baka.

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>>8759568
Middle aged women who have nothing better to do, yes. It's the same crowd that has quirky wine glasses and shares this kinda shit on fb

>>8759682
>quirky wine glasses
huh that's a new one I haven't seen

>>8759682
Reminds me of my aunty.
I thank god every day that I am not as stupid as those fucking Toowoomba cunts.

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>>8759688
You can find them fucking everywhere with other stupid shit written on them, I'm sure they've got them at any fine goddamn retailer like Walmart or Bed, Bath & Beyond. And the bitches using these stupid fucking glasses are always the cunts drinking fucking Red Cat and Glenora fucking CHRIST they make me so fucking angry in their stupid 'drunk dumb bitches' limos
And none of them can fucking drive, either

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>>8759697

>tfw Queensland still exists

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>>8759740
>tfw polish
instead of quirky wine glasses we have quirky vodka glasses

Just had cup number 3 for the morning

>drink coffee
>get the shits

>>8755663
Is that Jimmy Neutron?

>>8755546

I mostly like coffee because it enhances my morning shit

>>8760094
[spoiler]TURBO POWERED MIND[/spoiler]

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Anyone here tried caffeine tablets?
I tried once to see if they quickened me up, they didn't!

>>8760097
This. Coffee is only for you to cleanse yourself of the dinner you had last night and not having to worry about it throughout the day. Anyone who praises coffee culture is a fucking idiot.

DUDE
DRUG ADDICTION
LMAO

>>8759870
don't drink coffee on an empty stomach, it causes irritation

>>8755611
Here's your ^

>>8755546
>>8755583
>>8755588
>it's the "dont talk to me until ive had my coffee" guy
try using bleach instead of creamer for your next cup

>>8762011
aww.. poor baby.
did your wittle feefees get hurt by someone liking what you dont like?
I think it's time to change your pampers.

>>8762011
>using creamer

>>8762253
aww.. poor baby.
did your wittle feefees get hurt by someone liking what you dont like?
I think it's time to change your pampers.

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>>8755546

>20 oz of this swill
>7 days a week

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Any other espresso autists around?

I'm pulling shots of an Ecuador Ethiopia Bourbon from Fire Fly farm. Roasted by Sump coffee down the street from me. Picked some up since they won some "America's Best Especially" award with it.

Pretty dang good at the parameters I'm pulling at (15g in, 21g out, fairly long shot time, ending up with 20-22% exty depending on how well I have it dialed). But, honestly, I liked the Costa Rica San Luis I had from them just before a lot better.

>>8761388

Just smelling coffee in the morning causes bowel movements

>>8762698
>Sump

An STL nigga on my /ck/?

>>8759870
>wake up
>drink coffee
>take three shits
>now the day can commence as usual

>>8762731
Awshit, yep! Didn't think I'd ever see anyone else from round here.

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>>8759740
I didn't need to see this.

>>8759682
>powered
>fueled
>sustained
But those all basically mean the same fucking thing

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Best beans???

I'm trying to get started. Please, help an ignorant newfag out.

>>8763008
By store brand, I'm not even joking. Costco and Sam's Club store brands are significantly better than meme local roasters and coffee chains
>stärke
Yeah I have no idea what you krauts have

>>8763027
>By store brand
Buy*
>coffee chains
Coffee chains' beans

I need sleep

>>8762827
>>8762731
STL Reporting in. I've never even had an espresso.

I'm moving to STL what am I in for

Morning coffee saved my life anons.

Yesterday, had I not gone to drink my morning coffee at the exact moment I did, I would have not looked up and noticed the bag of microwave popcorn my family was cooking catching fire.

Thanks coffee.

What bothers me the most about these people is that they're drinking shit watered down coffee and living up the placebo.

I came from Brazil to the UK last year and my girlfriend's family got to taste real coffee for the first time because I brought them a bag of Café Pilão. They burned through it very fast because after the initial shock, they couldn't go back to shit like Costa.

I mentioned I'll bring them some Caboclo next time and the greed in their eyes was overwhelming. They couldn't believe coffee could get even stronger than the one I brought them.

>>8763008
I buy Dunkin Donuts grind.

>>8762235
>>8762259
>posts the same butt-hurt, deflective message twice

i fucking hate this place

>>8755546
>Drinking (((coffee)))

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>>8755546
you filthy addicts should be lined up against a wall and shot... waaaaaa muh coffee. fucking scum get out.

>>8755561
Kek

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>>8759697
>tfw sister is getting married to a guy from toowoomba

>tfw moving to outback Queensland

>>8764040
which town?

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>>8759751
>tfw Queensland is a better place to live than Sydney or Melbourne

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A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M

>>8755907
If there was ever a guy in need of a beheading.

>>8763250
Want one? I'll buy.

>>8763376
Really depends on where.

I once put ice cream in my coffee it was pretty good.

>>8764205
Sauce

Coffee is brown like the color of doo doo.

>DONT LE TALK TO ME UNTIL IVE HAD MY LE COFEE
>proceeds to go to Starbucks and order a 48 oz cup of corn syrup, milk, and artificial flavorings with a single shot of espresso and a gallon of whipped cream on top
Why don't these people just eat a candy bar? Obviously they crave sugar, not coffee, and a candy bar is like 1/8 the price.

>>8757622
I drink a strong breakfast tea in the morning then lighter teas all day

>>8764877
Because they don't want to get fat.

Seriously, that's what they say.

>>8764722
Eating a bowl of ice dream while drinking coffee is GOAT. The contrast of the cold and hot with the sweet bitter contrast is fantastic

>>8764877
Why don't you just let it go? You people complain about fucking everything.

>>8763376
Niggers, provel, and t-rav.

-t. St Louisan

>>8765688
>t. starbucks drinker

>>8759640
>Don't date Americans guys
>gf
wat

>>8765689
This is accurate

Also get ready for local hipsters to convince you that the city is unique and exciting when in reality it's just the same millennial gentrification generation bullshit you see in every rust belt city

Plus real nigs who will steal your shit

>>8763376
>>8765689
>>8766159
at least you guys have the Zoo, fucking amazing zoo tbqh

I am glad I live in Columbia and not STL though, I have most of the conveniences of STL with about 90% less of the nigs nigging

>>8755546
GODDAMN IT, IF THERE'S ONE THING I FUCKING HATE IT'S PEOPLE WHO MEME ABOUT COFFEE AND THE COFFEE MEME ALL DAY LONG. GOD DAMN IT YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT I DON'T GIVE THE FIRST FUCK ABOUT YOUR MEME BEVERAGE AND YOUR PRETEND FUCKING MEME ADDICTION YOU FUCKER

Nothing better than a cig and a cheap coffee to get into the mood for 8-9 hours of work in the office

God...

Make boiling hot coffee. Pour in cup. Now cup is hot, I burn fingers. Start yelling at cup. Also cry a little. Now I hate coffee.

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Only us sisters will get this

>>8755907
Who is this person? I've been seeing him all over 4chan forever now and I don't have a single idea who he is or where he's from.

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>>8759688
The worst is the "country girls" who drink out of these

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>>8765688

>>8766325
>my sister

fuck her and everyone like her

>>8762235
ASS-MANGLED!!!

>>8766325
The elderly pakistani lady I work with drinks coffee out of a large mason jar for some reason

>>8767278
I wish I had a sister to fuck.

>>8766325
I kinda want that mason jar glass. I wouldn't drink wine out of it though.

>>8766145
>reading comprehension

>>8755907
hahaha man those fuckin autistic belts he has

>>8755761
it works in the morning, if you just woke up but arent sleep deprived, it just takes away that morning grogginess

>>8760247
You gotta make sure to drink them with a lot of water and maybe some sugar. I take them with a milky way and 16 oz of water, picks me right up.

Who /drinks5+cupsaday/ here?

I don't care if people talk to me before I've had my coffee. I'm not usually that grumpy in the morning. I drink it all day at work mainly because I'm bored.

>>8759176
>>8759151
Mmm this was a good set of posts
They gave me pleasure

>>8755907
Is this one of them nu males /pol/ keeps telling me about?

>>8771527
It has the arms of a small child

>>8759185
People who are functional enough to make it to work yet still insist on making people wait for them to drink their coffee before engaging with them are usually self absorbed little shits.

I have a friend who is actually coffee dependent and whenever we wake up in the same place he "always" makes a beeline for the coffee first thing,

>>8771472
> mfw finnish
> coffee every day all day