ITT:restaurant horror stories whether it be from a employee

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>>8725221
At my first kitchen job we had a weekend morning regular, we'll call him Frankie. Frankie coached middle school soccer and would stop in for the "Frankie omelette" before going out to the field complex for the day.

The "frankie omlette" was a 12-15 egg omelette with literally everything in the kitchen. The worst mix i remember
>lett, tom, pick, onion, turkey, jalapeno, ham, sausage, salami, spinach, smoked salmon, pepper rings, mortadella, grilled chx, souvlaki meat, pineapple, feta, cheddar, american, swiss, cream cheese, jerk tri-color pepp, taco beef, and sliced kielbasa

My manager weighed one once at it was between 4-5lbs, had to make a special plate out of 2 togo boxes and a taped up cardboard box to serve him.

This was every weekend for a year, if frankie hasn't died yet im sure he'll be there tomorrow.

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There's a high-end restaurant in my city that I have been to a few times, yet I have never gotten the chance to actually enjoy it. Every time I've been to this place there has been someone there with a screeching rug rat. I could not enjoy my evening, and I will not go back unless this place enacts a policy banning young children. If you can afford to eat at a place like that you can also afford a babysitter for the evening, if you don't want to do that then go to Denny's or something. Fuck off and stop ruining everyone else's evening. God dammit I hate parents.

>>8725252
>that many fucking ingredants
>every fucking weekend
That restaurant must have been pretty successful

>back on the line after break
>friend is pouring soup from the warmer through a strainer and into a bowl
>defeated look on his face
>ask him what's up
>he's just shaking his head
>look at order chit
>"small french onion soup; no onion"

I had to sit down I was laughing so hard

>>8725252
I'm guessing frankie was quite obese?

Imagine the horrendous farts this guy passed in the locker room.

Do you know how much you charged the guy for that trainwreck?

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>>8725318
Its a pretty successful place, has been for awhile. The kind of non-pretentious place where you can get a damn good patty melt or maybe chefs doing a weekly special with shark. Everything was house made too.
>>8725384
He was by no means a small guy but he was also like 6'6-7. $25-35 iirc but he would mix it up a lot based on what we had.

A few times he would get a side of sausage gravy and homefries with it or in it so prices varied based on frankies whim.

>>8725329

What's the point

I once went to taco bell and ordered two tacos.
Crunchy.
They forgot to put the meat on one.

>>8725252
Somewhat along the same lines, i worked at a semi upscale gastropub/gourmet burger place. I forget what night but we did a build your own burger and we had to be explicit that we were not responsible for some of the abominations that went out.

People doing double american cheese, sweet relish, avocado, roast red pepp, and 3 different kinds of aioli. Had to start skewering bugers before sending em out because no one knew aioli means mayo and would load up.

>>8725425
he strained to remove the onion pieces from the onion soup,

>>8725431
What did they think aioli meant? Why didn't they just ask their server?

>>8725425
"I'd like an onion soup but please remove the onions"

I guess it was a texture thing if we weren't being fucked with; either way it's a weird request

Before you all read this, understand I’m minoring in Food Service and work in a food department where we are strict about food safety. With that in mind, please continue.
My coworker and I became pretty close friends. She and I decided to hang out outside of work and go to get dinner. She kept telling me about this place downtown that sold “amazing hot dogs”. And as a hot dog lover, I agreed to go with her. We went inside and yeah. It smelled like garbage. We sat down on the sticky seats and had our order taken by some skater dude. She and I ordered plain old hot dogs with raw onions and an order of fries.

The skater dude was also the cook. He took our dirty menus and started to cook. Not washing his hands. He started touching the hot dogs. Started cooking them. Then he started grabbing raw hamburger and started grilling. After grabbing the raw meat, he grabbed some buns THE ENTIRE TIME NOT WASHING HIS HANDS. I was about to die. I was thinking about writing my goodbyes to my girlfriend. While these were cooking he started cleaning dirty dishes then WENT BACK TO COOKING. NO GLOVES. NO NOTHING. He served our food. I didn’t want to eat it but… I had to be nice. So I ate the filthdog. It tasted… mediocre. Like an average Oscar Meyer. Disappointing. I went to salt up some fries. Not to my surprise, the salt shaker had a layer of dirty sticky residue. Eugh. I wanted to go home. And thank god I didn’t die.

>>8725329

We get those all the time.

Turkey burger, no turkey, just buns and veggies

Pepperoni pizza ****SHRIMP ALLERGY****

Macaroni and short rib sandwich, chicken instead of ribs, macaroni on the side, vegetables instead of fries. The lady who got that one was pretty upset it didn't look like the picture, she was mad at how lousy our kitchen was.

Someone asked us once to remove the caffeine from a fountain soda...

>>8725258
I understand your feelings.

>>8725440
Are you retarded?

>>8725556
Boosts your immune system

>>8725454
Im guessing they just thought it was some kind of sauce. Unless they knew and absofuckinglutely love drowning shit in it.

>>8725221
>be me
>work at food truck
>woman comes up to order
>woman looks like a generic cali bimbo on a budget
>she says what she wants. Can barely order right.
>i ring it up, it comes to like 25 something
>i say "ok that will be 25 something"
>she hands me a 20
>stares at me
>i stare back waiting for her to give me more money
>nothing happens
>i say " it was 25 something miss do you have any more cash"
>she asks for food now
>i tell her i have to get it ready but it will be 25 and some change to pay for the order to complete the sale
>she just stares at me and then after a bit she asks about getting the food again...
>her bf walks up. Hes kinda like a wanna be lifting bro obviously has a thing for dumb blondes
>he asks her about food (prolly whats taking so long, i usually take like a min to take an order and get money)
>i tell him its like 25 and some change and the woman only gave me a 20.
>she just stares at me silently.
>he looks at her, prolly knows shes fucking retarded
>she just leaves and walks back to their truck without saying a word to me after her bf gets there
>he sighs and gives me more money.
>i thank him and quickly get their food and they leave.
>guy looks so sad that he has to put up with her.

>>8725431
Anytime I go to The Counter, I checkoff pretty much... every single box.

>>8726234
I was absolutely not expecting the guy to not also be retarded.

>breading chicken for katsu since the station supply was running low

>busy af, having to juggle with doing dishes

>suddenly get no less than ten orders of katsu

>niggas run over to to me and take what I've got finished

>They need more

>they're taking the katsu from me as quick as I'm making them

>the orders keep fucking pouring in

>Run out of the bags I was breading

>go to cooler where more are kept

>empty

>we're completely out of one of our most popular items

>it's 7PM

>We close at 10

I was picking panko out of my knuckle skin for days after

>>8725329
>"small french onion soup; no onion"
Any time I get that I tell the server to fuck off

>>8726648
Is it really that bad of an order? Lots of people like the flavor of onion but not the texture.

>>8725570
>Pepperoni pizza ****SHRIMP ALLERGY****
aroo? so, just eat pepperoni pizza? or did they not want to eat pepperoni pizza bc they thought it was somehow connected to their shellfish allergies?

>>8726672
>Is it really that bad of an order?

Aside from being asinine not really. All it takes is a sieve. Leaving your line in a rush to get a sieve is a bigger pain.

>>8726672
>Is it really that bad of an order?

Given that onions are the main fucking ingredient I would say so.

>>8726683
You don't have a sieve nearby as part of your mise?

>>8726685
>You don't have a sieve nearby as part of your mise?
Tragically no. Because people who order onion soup with no onions get their onions.

>>8726588
Sounds like a cool guy to me.

>>8726689
topkek

>>8726679

It was probably more like so there wasn't any cross contamination.

>>8725860
I would absolutely drown my burger in aioli, that shits the bomb.

>working as a line cook in a shitty chain restaurant
>supervisor drops precooked chicken breast on floor
>dunks it in sanitizer bucket and serves it

>>8726234
>>he sighs and gives me more money.

lol

>>8726921
>dunks it into a sanitizer bucket
What the fuck
What food chain was it?

>>8726929
I'm just kidding, someone stopped him. But he was seriously going to serve it. I won't name the chain, but nearly everything was heated up in a microwave. And there was a roach infestation in the kitchen that the owners refused to address.

I'd happily eat there again desu

>>8726965

Confirmed for olive garden

>>8725570

I worked as a pizza chef for a while. Thank God I never had to do it, but we apparently were supposed to make special dough ON THE SPOT for gluten free pizzas. I have no clue how it was even done, because it was a brick oven and the only way pizzas didn't stick to the oven and turn into charcoal was because of the small amount of flour on the pizza paddle, which is obviously not okay when gluten-free.

We also had a dude come in and order a grilled cheese on the basis that 'all restaurants have bread and cheese', on Sunday. We would close down Monday and Tuesday to get the kitchen in order, so we didn't actually have the capacity to handmake a beautiful grilled cheese. (Or, more accurately, the cook didn't want to.)

>>8726965

Probably Olive Garden, that place is on another level. Never work in a chain, kids, they survive by cutting costs and the food suffers.

>>8726970
>>8726994
Not Olive Garden but I'm sure every chain runs the kitchen in a similar way.

>Worked at a McD's part time in college.
>First job there, toasting buns.
>Back in the day when they toasted them.
>Had a bucket to put buns in that I dropped on the floor.
>Dropped dozens of buns.
>Never once put a dropped bun in the bucket.
>Managers, shift managers, or owners never noticed or cared.
>Kinda thought it would be an issue...
>Became a game on my first shift.

>go to Chinese buffet with coworkers (not my idea)

>there's like 8 of us, 4 to a booth

>sit across from one of the on-call guys who works like crazy but is kind of soft-spoken, we don't even talk because I barely know the guy

>at the end of the meal we're lined-up to pay and leave and he's a few people ahead of me

>while he's paying I see the cashier and manager pointing at me while talking to him

>get up to the cashier and tell them I had one lunch buffet and a soda, she and the manager look at each other, speak in Chinese, she shrugs and takes my money

>ask co-worker wtf that was about

>"they said I had to pay for you too because we were together, so I did"

I was a 30 year-old man with facial hair; I still don't know wtf that was about

>carbonara, no yolk
>carbonara, COOK THE YOLK
>well done steak
>chili cream pasta, NO CHILIES
>aglio olio, CREAM BASE

i was at a western cafe in an asian country.

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>>8726921
>dunks it in sanitizer bucket and serves it
>supervisor

He wanted to get fired

>>8727125
what the fuck

>>8726872
>balsamic
>sweet chili
>smokey cajun
>dijon horseradish
>salted maple
>wasabi

Pick 3

>>8725329
Was this Panera? The one I'm at is in a mall and people do this shit all the time, everyone is so goddamn picky and 90% of people don't know the difference between Gorgonzola and feta cheese. people don't even know what a fucking panini is, I got asked by a customer to make her grilled cheese not as a panini, and she got all pissy with me when it wasn't heated, like wtf did you expect

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>>8727125
Lol wut

>>8725818
Are you?

I started to hate niggers soon after becoming a cashier at McDonald's.

>>8725252
Did you guys have an extra large pan or did you just throw an oven tray on the fire?

>>8727661
He liked his eggs a little runny so we'd do everything on the flat top. Once his filler was cooked we'd pour the eggs on, toss the hot shit in, roll it up and let the heat cook from both sides. Two guys with two spatulas each transfered it to the container.

>>8726672

Is it really bad for a grown adult to act like a child because his French Onion soup has goddamn onions in it?

Seriously, every restaurant needs a security team to drag these people outside, and kick the shit out of them.

>>8726965
>>8726970
>>8726994

Applebees or Chili's

Olive Garden actually does a lot of prep and don't typically use microwaves.

Nigga, Applebee's would microwave beer

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>Used to do a bit of everything at a small Inn, work with a few Ecuadorians.
>Every other week we made salad dressing, huge fucking batches of it, let it sit in 30 or 40 10 gallon buckets for a week then bottle it the next week.
>Ecuadorian missing half the teeth in his mouth spills a 10 gallon bucket on the floor, gets a filthy dust pan and broom
>Proceeds to sweep half a gallon of salad dressing into the dust pan
>The death stare I gave him as he attempted to pour the contents of the dust pan back into the bucket could have melted steel beams.
>Didn't bother to report him because he does all the nasty jobs they cant pay legal employees to do.

>>8726588
ha same

>>8727407
Nah it was a semi-private golf course in Canada, I suspect half the members love to mod the shit out of their orders just because they can

>>8726685
>>8726689
The line there is tiny so all cookware/utensils but the immediate essentials are in the prep area, down a 20m hallway (or somewhere along that hallway).

Rough layout, necessitates some cardio during rushes and banquets

>people who order onion soup with no onions get their onions
kek if only

When I was 17, I was working at a fast food place. I was the only white person there. The manager was a complete idiot. I'd often yell at her to go away because by trying to help, she was slowing me down and messing up my well-honed burger construction system.

One day, we're closing up, and this woman empties the fryers into garbage bags on the floor ... imagine a trash bag full of of 15 gallons of hot oil ... anyway, she is trying to get me to take this shit out to the trash. I tell her I'm not picking it up until someone gets a big ass tray or something to slide underneath it first (to lift the tray instead of the bag). I got fired after about 5 minutes of defying her will to simply pick up the bags by the handle. The next day, one of the guys I worked with told me that 2 other people quit that night because this idiot manager insisted they clean up the enormity of the mess it made when 15 gallons of oil spilled all over the floor and under the machinery while she went home.

I don't know whatever happened after that. I imagine they had to have professional cleaners come in.

That was the last time I ever worked in a chain restaurant that prioritized manager promotions to only the people who were too stupid to find better jobs for 3 years straight. Like it's a medal for persistent retardation.

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>>8727718
fuuuuuck that

>8727923
>prioritized manager promotions to only the people who were too stupid to find better jobs for 3 years straight. Like it's a medal for persistent retardation.
kek shitty but true for so many places

>>8725459
A co workers wife orders this at every Xmas party it's fucked. And she's like 400 lbs

>>8725258
>This salty faggot

if you can't stand humans maybe you should eat at a robot restaurant instead?

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>>8727871
>20m
>some cardio

>>8726988
>small amount of flour on the pizza paddle, which is obviously not okay when gluten-free.
Your place didn't have cornmeal? It's not uncommon for pizza places to use cornmeal instead of flour on the bottom of the pie.

>>8727068
>serving floor buns

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>>8725258
t.liberated whore

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>work at a sushi restaurant
>spic coworker is making pic
>the cheapest and most simple piece of sushi you can make
>drops the sushi on the floor
>we charge three dollars for it
>bends down
>three fucking dollars
>reaches for it while it rests in the nasty grimy floor tiles
>$3
>grabs it and places it back in her hand
>3 USD (United Staes Dollaroo)
>makes it into a fucking order
>serves it

Spics are the worst. A cooked piece of food? I would still refuse to serve it but a cold raw piece of seafood that is upcharged x6 what it costs? Get the flying fuck out of here back to Mexico.

>>8727923
>people who were too stupid to find better jobs for 3 years straight. Like it's a medal for persistent retardation
Say fucking word. Always the one sweaty fuckbasket that sucks at everything but is in charge just because they've been around forever and haven't screwed up badly enough to fuck off entirely. Every job I've ever had in a kitchen. There's always one.

>>8728059
Hey at least I know I am getting what I pay for.
Fucking uncooked fish what the fuck.
It having fallen on the floor is not the issue here.

>>8728059
>>8728075
>pic
>raw

The shrimp used in shrimp nigiri in the U.S. is almost always parcooked tiger shrimp. I don't know how anyone could think it's raw just by the texture alone. You'd have to go to a high-end place to find actual raw shrimp sushi here.

>>8728261
high-end dropped on the ground raw fish

>>8725252
>Frankie coached middle school soccer
Can't molest children on an empty stomach. The BO and omelette breath gives the power trip an extra dimension. You participated in this, anon.

>>8725329
Oh God, this happened roughly once a month at a restaurant I worked at. According to the server it was some old lady that hated the taste and texture of onions, but loved the broth.

I have a lot of stories. There is one I like to share more than most because it hurts me more than anything. I had a lady bold enough to spend money on business cards listing all her allergies. The server brought it back to me and the executive chef. She was basically allergic to everything under the sun. And she basically was demanding high quality ingredients on the shit tier shit she was ordering. I think we ended up making her loaded potato bites made with goat cheese and an unseasoned well done sirloin...

>>8725221
I walk into the Waffle House close to my place, with no cash, just a debit card with more than enough money to eat at the awful waffle.

I ask my waitress "Do you all accept debit/credit cards?". She replied yes.

20 minutes later I go to the counter to pay my bill and when I hand them my card, they refuse to take it and point me to an ATM.

This was not just any ATM, this was what appeared to be a gameboy hooked up to a 56k modem. Evidently it was some high tech shit because they charged me 8 dollars for using the thing (more than my meal cost).

I about shit a brick and raised hell with everyone working there. They refused to comp me my meal and I briefly thought of exacting my revenge by taking a deuce or wiz right there on the floor.
Luckily, I didn't because I would go to jail or be forced to do it with my pants on and that would fuck up my clothes.

Instead, I paid my bill and walked over to my table. I whistled for the waitress that served me and that told me they "accepted debit/credit cards". I said "Here's your tip" and stuck my finger down my throat and ralphed every bit of eggs, bacon and toast I had eaten there, as well as a shitload of velveeta shells and cheese mixed with a shitload of Natural lite and Jim Beam from the night before. It smelled like the bottom of a trash can in a bar.

I walked out grinning like a maniac as people screamed at me. Not one fuck was given that morning.

>>8728382
>I said "Here's your tip" and stuck my finger down my throat and ralphed every bit of eggs, bacon and toast I had eaten there, as well as a shitload of velveeta shells and cheese mixed with a shitload of Natural lite and Jim Beam from the night before. It smelled like the bottom of a trash can in a bar.
>I walked out grinning like a maniac as people screamed at me. Not one fuck was given that morning.
This poster did nothing wrong, waitress deserved it

>make a quesadilla
>20 minutes later he complains it's cold
>make another one
>20 minutes later complains it's cold
>make another one
>have a cold
>put a big loogie in his next quesadilla.

Jesus Christ, It's going to get cold after 20 minutes, you fucking asshole.
Fuck, I hate customers sometimes.
That's the only time I've ever spit in someone's food. He deserved it.

>>8725221
>middle of the day
>fucking half a dozen hobos always crowding in front of Popeyes for change, food, even water from clientele
>More adventurous ones (who just happen to smell the most) often come inside to beg for shit from people eating food, to the point that their infested bodies are touching people and their food as their grubby hands can't keep to themselvrs
This is a small town suburb too, why the fuck are they always here? Worst thing is that the store and police can't do shit because every time they do a bunch of faggot hipster fucks come over from San Francisco to "peacefully" protest that we're mistreating the poor and unfortunate. I am surprised Popeyes hasn't been shut down yet due to this rampant disease that always plagues them.

>>8725556
>lying on the Internet this hard
Bitch please you couldn't land a girl even if you were loaded in something other than lard

>worked as prep chef in an elderly home
>we're making desserts; yogurt with cut fruit with a tip of whipped cream
>make pallet loads of it and shove them on a trailer for serving the wrinkled old rejects
>some intern drops a glass on accident
>shatters all over the place
>allfornothing.exe
>head chef shrugs and says keep serving
>someonesgettingglass.tar.gz
>we serve the whole fucking lot
>roughly 15 minutes later the director walks into the kitchen
>shows a piece of glass in his yogurt
Head chef was fired on the spot, after all hell unleashed and rain of pans going through the kitchen had finally subsided.

>>8727972
Are you a parent who thinks that the entire world revolves around your crib lizard? Guess what, it doesn't. Some of us are out trying to have a nice adult evening, and we are paying a lot of money for this, so have some decency and hire a babysitter for the night.

All upscale restaurants should ban children under 10.

>woman orders a hamburger with everything
>warn her that there's like a dozen different sauces and condiments and it's not recommended
>just hand over the burger
>she rejects it because it's basically a wrapper full of vegetables and sauce with two buns and a patty floating in it

Have any of you cookfags ever worked in the kitchen at a remote work camp/oil rig? Are those people any better than the customers in a restaurant? I'm thinking it could go either way, tradesmen are usually pretty reasonable, but at the same time when you are working in one of those places the only thing you really have to look forward to is meal time so they could be a bit picky.

>>8728496
>hamburger with everything
>dozen different sauces and condiments and it's not recommended
Obviously you use smaller quantities so it doesn't turn into a soupy mess you fucking mong

>>8725221
>Eating at Black Bear Diner for lunch between classes, which has become my favorite place since they erected it across the campus
>Halfway through my fish some fucking ass starts yelling at some middle age dude and his wife (I assume it is) two tables away
>Apparently the old guy isn't tipping because he didn't like how his food turned out, and the other guy is trying to publicly shame him for not keeping in line with tipping culture
>Old guy isn't budging, telling the asshat that whether or not he tips is his decision to make
>Ass continues to preach louder, getting up and starting to go down the dining hall pointing at everybody and then to the staff
>Meanwhile I'm asking a waitress if I can get more sauce for my fries
>The fucker overhears me, apparently he doesn't like it when he's being ignored, he runs up to me and fucking spits on a perfectly good plate of fish and chips
>"This is what the cooks should do to you ungrateful little fucks when you don't show them the respect they deserve!"
>At this point I'm stabbing his legs with a fork and trying to smash a bottle of Papa Bear all over him
Never get between a fat man and his food, because he's gonna be eating something no matter what. Also I got banned for harming another customer, shit sucks since there's no other black bear in this city.

There's a McDonald's in my area that is complete garbage. Every time I eat there everything tastes like rubber and makes me sick. Well, the manager of that McDonald's got hired in my department in a Target Pizza Hut place. And I now know why I get sick from his food. He lets pizza sit out for 3 HOURS And he doesn't even clean dishes correctly! I hate knowing he works in my department and gets away with all that while my guests complain to me about the food quality going down. I know it's his fault...

>>8728544
>NEXT TIME
>*spit*
>ON KITCHEN NIGHTMARES
>"f(BEEP)k you man, you have to tip! I'll call the police!"
>GORDON TAKES ON HIS TOUGHEST CHALLENGE YET

>>8728552
>fast food chain in a department store
Better fire his ass fast, those places are supposed to have higher standards than the standard outfit

>work in tiny local cafe place
>have Indian coworker
>absolutely no barista experience, didn't even know what a cappuccino was before she started working here
>tries to help but somehow only manages to get in the way and further complicate things
>constantly leaves steam pitchers, blenders, etc on every available surface instead of putting them in the dump sink or out of the way once she's done using them like a sane person would
>consistently manages to bungle drink recipes yet argues with me when I know this shit forwards and backwards
>second guesses me all the time and tries to "help" when I'm already like three fourths through an order
>much shorter than me and 0 concept of personal space so literally always underfoot

She's really nice so I feel bad complaining but goddamn, she is just painfully inefficient and there's no polite way of bringing it up with her

>>8727655
feel you anon

>>8728628
I'd tell you to tell your boss but she's probably there on affirmative action

>>8728628
You should fuck her. Tiny sweet Indian chicks are awesome.

>>8727300
That's pretty weird, I was imagining something like garlic, chipotle, black pepper or bbq maybe, but I can't really see any three of those working too well.

>>8728656
Is it a turn-on for co/ck/s to smell the curry sweating out her pores while fucking?

>>8728689
no

but you've got a point curry coincidentally smells like unwashed pussy

>>8728382
using vomit as a means of revenge.

I like it.

>go to indian place
>huge menu
>no alcoholic drinks
>order something
>told they dont have it
>repeat this at least six times on different things until i give up and ask what they have
>kebab, he says, and points to a page with different variations of salad, chips, rice, kebab meat, doner, and durums

This aint really a horror story, it turned out to be an alright kebab place, just odd, went back for kebab often, other weird shit was one time some guy sleeping on cardboard in corner, another time one of them was praying, and the table cloth was really poor resolution pictures of chocolate and coffee, oh yeah they had a coffee machine and never sold coffee.

>>8728853
Not really /ck/ but you might enjoy this
>out drinking with mates
>we are all pretty wasted, bro accidentally trips a girl on the dancefloor
>she slaps him hard, he obviously wants to hit her back but the whole "never hit a girl" thing is too strong
>sticks a finger down his throat and just pukes all over her
>we drag him out before this escalates even more
Was a pretty unique evening

>>8725258
>hire a babysitter
This shit always seemed really weird to me.
Who the fuck treats themselves nicer than their kids? How is it ok to go eat at a fancy restaurant and then give your kids a mopey nanny and macncheese

>>8728898
your right lets send the kids to the fancy restaurant and we'll sit at home eating mac and cheese with our neighbors daughter

>>8728908
What's wrong with that?

>>8725221
The "chef" re-used someone's scraps from a plate of food I returned cuz the meat was undercooked. The person had already picked at the food (which the chef already knew). We were running low on cooked stuff, so instead of making more they used the shit that was picked from.

>>8728898

Children don't deserve all the privileges of being a working adult with none of the responsibility. They don't want the privileges, either (with some exceptions, like candy whenever and no bedtime).

>"Mommy, Daddy, I did my homework! Let's go to Benihana!"

... said no kid, ever. They're perfectly delighted with a value meal from McDonalds or a new video game. So why not give them that, and spare other restaurant goers your kid's screaming? I say this as a 35 year old with a 13 year old kid. Be a decent person.

>>8728656
>not potty training her after she ate saag paneer

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>>8727718
Holy fucking shit that's disgusting

>>8727972
Parent detected

Just be aware that while you think your whelp is cute, everyone else within earshot wants to smother it

>>8728898

Seeing as this is a cooking board, what child will appreciate a high end restaurant meal? Would a child really give a shit between a quality burger or a bologna and ketchup sandwich?

>>8728656
Hell no dude, she's older than my mom and I'm perfectly straight

>>8728649
Not even worth it at this point, I'm probably gonna quit after Easter anyway since the management is beyond retarded and the turnover rate is ludicrously high as a result

>>8728471
I was at Little Ceasars and this fat meth head looking bitch had her fucking pizza in hand but since her stupid ass friend wanted another pizza, they sat there waiting for more to be made because they didn't fucking think to call ahead and wanted the hot and readys. This chick started bitching that her pizza was cold and demanded another one after her friends pizza finally came. Manager gave her it and I went up to the cashier when my pizza was done, talked shit, both laughed, then left.

>>8727972
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I could go every day for the rest of my life, and never see another person, I'd be beyond happy.

>>8729527
>Would a child really give a shit between a quality burger or a bologna and ketchup sandwich?
Yes, absolutely. Unless they're stupid.

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>>8728881
This pretty much.
I have been to so many places which offer espresso on their menu yet have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about (literally don't even know what it is) whenever I ask for it.

>>8728481
you couldn't tell from the context that this was clearly a woman posting?

A guy only gave me 30% tip for my excellent service.

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>>8725221
>work at place that makes burritos and burrito accessories
>sort of a Subway or chipotle type deal where you pick what goes on stuff
>woman orders nachos, gets normal stuff like beans and rice
>i start to pour queso on the nachos
>"I DIDNT SAY I WANTED CHEESE???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
>"oh sorry mam, this is just what comes on these. do you want me to make you a new one?"
>she says yes and i proceed to start over again, then we pass the hot station and I pass the shredded cold cheese
>"ID LIKE SOME MIXED CHEESE ON MY NACHOS PLEASE"
>I put the fucking cheese on the nachos and eventually we get to finishing station
>"IS THERE ANY WAY YOU COULD MELT MY CHEESE????'
>bitch no
>"ID LIKE TO SEE YOUR MANAGER PLEASE"

>>8725221
>guest orders salmon
>we sprinkle a little paresly for color
>send it out
>waitress brings it back nearly in tears
>lady went fucking balistic screaming at top of lungs about fucking parsley

>>8728382
>Instead, I paid my bill and walked over to my table. I whistled for the waitress that served me and that told me they "accepted debit/credit cards". I said "Here's your tip" and stuck my finger down my throat and ralphed every bit of eggs, bacon and toast I had eaten there, as well as a shitload of velveeta shells and cheese mixed with a shitload of Natural lite and Jim Beam from the night before. It smelled like the bottom of a trash can in a bar.
I wish I could have your balls at least for one day in my life

>>8729858
A real one was a server got a 30 dollar tip on a 600 dollar check

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>>8725258
>getting bullied by babies

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>>8727712
>Nigga, Applebee's would microwave beer

>>8728544
God im sad no one filmed you and put it on jewtube, because my sides have gone to "plaid" speed

>>8728494
Agreed

>>8728476
>police can't do anything against tresspassers and loiterers
I find that hard to believe.

>>8728496
>>8728520

I do this every time I go to Five Guys, which isn't often but I like to imagine it bothers them.

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>>8728544
>spits on a perfectly good plate of fish and chips

That nigger did what

There was a woman came into the cafe I work at today, ordered the special, spicy baked beans on sourdough toast with cheddar cheese. Gets her order and complains that there's cheese on it and she's vegan. I think okay, there must have been a mistake on the cheque. Make the special again, no butter on the toast and no cheese. Go out myself to apologise for the mistake and give her the food. She sends it back because it has green stuff on it (Spring Onion). I offer to make it again ( was just going to take the garnish off obviously) but she explodes, demands a refund for everything her and her two friends bought which was well over £30. Front of house takes over, says that's too much to refund for one dish. She starts screeching, pissing off the over customers so she ends up with her money back for fuck all.

Not a funny story or anything just pissed me off. Two perfectly good meals ruined because one woman was a picky little mong. And she never asked for it fucking vegan either

>>8729903
Are you so autistic you can't even tell when someone posts an obvious and exaggerated bullshit story? This is fucking "men's wearhouse" tier for fuck sake

>>8730465
>vegan
>ordered the special, spicy baked beans on sourdough toast with cheddar cheese
For what purpose?

>>8730512
>"men's wearhouse" tier
Don't think I've heard this, link?

>>8729046
>said no kid, ever.
Bullshit

>>8726648
this is common thing?

>>8726872
go back to rebbit you fucking faggot

>>8726965
name the chain you fucking faggot, this isn't rebbit. no one is going to care

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>>8728628
is she cute at least?

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>New Greek restaurant opens in town.
>Mom decides to take me and my brother.
>Go on a Tuesday night
>No other customers except some homeless guy sitting in the back.
>Thought it was strange but since it was a new place we didn't put much thought into it.
>Brother orders spaghetti
>Mom and I order gyro pizza.
>30 mins go by and still don't have food.
>Chef comes to our table and says he brunt the spaghetti.
>Gives us free baklava for our trouble.
>Another 20 mins the food comes out.
>Wasn't that great.
>Leave and never come back.

The restaurant shut down a month later.

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>>8730588
>he burnt the spaghetti

How

>>8730552

So, you've heard a kid (of tantrum age) begging their parents for fine dining as a reward for not shitting themselves 3 days in a row? Kids that age HATE fancy restaurants. No amount of crayons and paper table covers will change that. It's why we have family restaurants with playlands and fun atmospheres.

>>8730588
What a mild inconvenience. At least he told you he somehow fucked up literally the easiest dish on the planet right next to peanut butter toast and cereal.

>>8730613
It was over cooked until significantly darker than it was supposed to be

>>8730632
I did as a kid. Kids will only hate places like that if their parents bring them up on plastic food

>>8728494
I have three children, and I agree, but you should go further; ban all kids. Like you said, you want an adult evening, and so do I. Screaming niglets is not conducive to a nice dinner.

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>>8728291
>Can't molest children on an empty stomach. The BO and omelette breath gives the power trip an extra dimension.

>You participated in this, anon.
>>8725221

>>8729046
When I was a kid I begged my parents to take me to fancy looking japanese steakhouses a lot. I never threw tantrums, I just fucking loved those sorts of places, they had a certain vibe to them.

>>8730683
Top fucking kek

>>8730658

That sounds ridiculously pretentious. Kids are kids, poor or rich, trashy or classy. They prefer video games and ball pits to places where they have to be practically silent, be on their best behavior, and exercise exquisite table manners. You're not fooling anyone.

>>8730695
Again, bullshit, kids are not kids, they have different nuances and preferences just like adults

>>8725556
Was this in Columbus?

>>8727125
This makes my inner Jew insane. You paid the Chinese fucks twice for food
I would have gone back and got the money

One time we went to a Thai noodle place and one of us found glass in their dish. He got a new plate and his meal free. Still horrifying and we never went back. They eventually closed down.

>>8730710
DIRTY FRANK'S?????

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>>8728059
> Buying sushi from a restaurant where the staff aren't all Asian

>>8728382
I took my daughter to a local diner once...
When we tried to pay i offered up my card and they said "oh cash only"

Theres a tiny sign on the door...mixed in with the no smoking open 24 hours no shirt no service bullshit on every diner door.

Oh but no worries....they have their own little atm.

Yeah.

I tell them ok...but im going to MY bank...fuck their atm service fee.

Obviously...i left without paying and didnt return.

>>8728382
You're a liar.
>>8728458
>>8728853
>>8729903
You're retarded.

>>8730730
>>8728059
People go to sushi restaurants with Mexican cooks? lol America

And I thought Korean-operated ones were bad

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>go to mccuck
>2 cashiers, 2 lines
>next in line
>cashier literally leaves
>stand for 2 minutes before realizing ive been bamboozled
>leave
This happened an hour ago and I still cannot process why this would happen. Not to mention the manager was literally pouring coffee in front of everybody

>Be my dad, 30 something years ago
>Work in shitty restaurant in New Jersey
>Chef's name is Butch
>Butch was an angry kind of guy
>Customer whines that his steak wasn't cooked enough one night
>Customer sends steak back a couple of times
>Butch gets fed up and takes the steak out back, throws it on the ground and pisses on it
>Butch sends the steak back to customer
>Butch asks customer how it tastes
>"It was tangy."

>>8730782
I don't know how, but at every single goddamn Kroger supermarket here, there is an Asian preparing the sushi. Isn't that offensive to themselves? I never see Asians working anywhere else in the store. Are the Asians ok with this, and do they get paid well in order to compensate for being a stereotype, or something?

>>8730730
People are still going to panda express despite being overpriced frufru type of shit with small as fuck portions.

>>8730814
How is that offensive? Do you think it's racist for a Mexican family to open up a tacqueria where they prepare burritos and nachos? Shit nigga, if anything it only lends to the authenticity.
It's like if you ask Gordon Ramsey if it feels demeaning for him to serve you some eggs benedict.

>>8730814
Lol the City Market near me has Asian dudes doing the sushi. No other Asians in the store. I wonder if they just check the application for it, and send them straight over to make sushi rolls.

>>8730843
Offensive to them. As in, it seems like Kroger might put up ads saying "We need a sushi chef....YOU MUST BE ASIAN."

>>8730847
>I wonder if they just check the application for it, and send them straight over to make sushi rolls.

Good point.

>>8726234
Pussy's a hell of a drug sometimes. I've done some shit that makes me cringe to remember to appease a seriously hot gf in the past.

>>8730814
You fuckin moron...its a separate company contracted by kroger.

>>8730907
And does that contracted company say "ONLY ASIANS HOLY FUCKING SHIT NO WHITE BOYS, FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING WEEB HIPSTER FAGGOTS"

>>8725221
>go to steakhouse with friends/family
>everyone orders their steak medium well/well done
>give me a strange room when I ask for it medium rare

why are normies like this

>>8727991
>what is hyperbole

Motherfucker not every story is a fucking bedtime /fit/spiration story. Goddamn, I'm not even op but just fucking learn to take shit less literally. Jeezuss.

>>8730727
>>8730710
lets not talk about dirty franks

>>8725221

>>Move into some small town in Wyoming, need a job, see that a diner has a help wanted in the wanted ads.

>>Get job as an"assistant" chef at local greasy spoon diner.

>>Bullshit job, mostly me cleaning the kitchen, stirring pots or bringing the actual chef stuff from pantry and fridge in back.

>>Eight days into the job, one of the waitresses comes rushing into the kitchen and tells everyone that Big Matt is coming in. Everyone shits their pants except me.

>>Ask why everyone is freaking out over some guy named Big Matt. One of the bus boys tells me that Big Matt is some fat ass, douche that comes and terrorizes everyone at the diner. Apparently, his family runs the local bank in town and a few outside the county. No one wants to piss him off since he always pitches an autistic shit fit and has mommy and daddy retaliate on his behalf.

>>So I figure I want to see what Fatass Matt is all about so I take my break. Everything I was told was true and it was hilarious. I see a 400 lbs plus blob of fat waddle into diner. Everyone freezes in place and waits to see what he wants.

>>FatAss Matt is an absolute obnoxious autistic piece of shit. Screams at everyone, he slaps the asses of some of the waitresses, tells him he can get them into big budget Hollywood movies, brags that he's a secret CIA assassin, has a direct line to the President, and tells everyone to fuck off or else.

>>I let out a smirk as I see this walking bag of shit and fat terrorize everyone in the diner, and Shithead Matt notices, demands to know what I'm laughing at. I tell the fatfuck nothing and he breaths heavy and makes some kind of mooing/wheezing sound.

>>Calls me a fucking liar and screams for the manager. He comes out, Matts speaking in a high pitched whiny angry voice, points to me and demands that he fires me. Manager walks up to me and tells me that he's sorry and tells me that I have to go.

>>8731219

>>I don't give a shit and pretty chill about the whole thing and head back into the kitchen to grab my stuff.

>>Walk back and a few of the staff give me the basic "we're sorry" and "You'll find better" generic bullshit.

>>Then I ask them if they want to to see Big Matt get his. There's silence but they all give me that "Hell Fucking Yes!" look.

>>I ask one of the bus boys to go to the walmart down the road and buy any sugarfree candies and treats that have Lycasin in it. I stress this fact over and over. Make sure it has Lycasin.

>>About 10, 15 minutes he comes back with 10 bags sugarfree gummies and 3 boxes of Little Debbie sugerfree brownies.

>>I check the ingredients and smile with evil glee. I dump the sugarfree gummies and brownies into a blender, mix it with milk, strawberry ice cream and a few others and make a nice looking shake. Pour it into the biggest glass I can find. Top it off with whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate syrup, the whole works.

>>With shake in hand I walk out and head over to Shithead Matt's table.

>>Tell the fatfuck how sorry I was, that I had no right to laugh at him, and as a token of my apologies I made him a milkshake.

>>His eyes light up as I tell him I'm giving him free food. I set my shake on the table and walk out.

>>Take a sit outside the diner and wait and roughly 30 minutes in I hear screaming and people rushing out the diner.

>>The bus boy sees me and tells me that Big Matt took a big shit all over himself. His overalls soaking wet with his filth and him sobbing like a fucking baby.

>>Manager follows and panics. I just tell him to blame me.

>>I get up and leave, head over to apartment, pack up and a few days later I leave the shithole town.

>>8730730
To be fair, the head chef is Japanese and has his fair share of nasty ass shit he does.

>>8727407
top kek worked at a panera in alameda, work was aggravating, but was chill, i hated it tho, always stole food tho, but it didnt help that the managers were fucking useless and always underpressure, fun times

>>8731219
>>8731262
That story really was worth 2 meme arrows a paragraph.

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>>8728544
>>At this point I'm stabbing his legs with a fork and trying to smash a bottle of Papa Bear all over him

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>>8730588
how the fuck do you burn spaghetti?

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>be me, 17, circa 1994
>driving from NY to Georgia
>stop at some 24-hour diner in Tysons at around 4 am because hunger
>only customer but whatever
>order a burg and fries
>pre-formed patty and dry fuckin fries but it was cheap so who cares
>halfway through my burg I honest to all holy shit start hearing two dudes just straight up having sex in the restaurant
>unmistakable moaning and slapping
>one guy shouting "stay there" and "push it"
>coming from the kitchen or maybe the manager's office or bathroom fuck if I know
>flag down waitress to ask what the fuck
>she looks haunted and exhausted and shakes her head and says "I don't know what to tell you hon"
>they're getting louder
>I say fuck this and get up, she says "yeah I don't blame you" and starts cleaning
>throw her a $20 tip and run
>one of them climaxes as I hit the door

>>8731411
s h u r e j a n

h

u

r

e

j

a

n

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>>8728382

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>>8725570
>Pepperoni pizza ****SHRIMP ALLERGY****
I'm fucking dying right now, I just got a mushroom allergy grilled cheese earlier tonight.

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>>8731431

>>8725221
>Get glass in mashed potatoes
>Sorry do you want more mashed potatoes

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>>8730941

>>8728486
I've seen this kind of thing happen, makes me ok with being a prep cook

>rain of pans
im using this as a super attack in my cooking rpg

Be me

>work at a pizza place as the grill cook making burgers.
>WUT
>We have 6 patties left, cool I'll just makes some more.
>No more meat
>Truck that brings meat already came.
>Manager didn't order meat.
>Rush comes and goes
>4 patties left

Not sure if I have rage because there is no meat to refill my patties, or feel rage because we don't have the business to sell 6 patties

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>>8731548
>pizza place
>no one wants burgers

>>8728915
>>8728908
do this all the time actually. I tell meemaw to take the kids to Chuck e cheese or some shit and me and the missus stay home and eat mac and cheese off of the neighbor's daughter.

>>8731556
>>8731556
>>8731556

we sold a metric fuck ton of them till I had to take two weeks off due to an injury.

Now nobody buys them because apparently we just ran out a bunch.

Also same store.

>be pizza store
>Make own sauce
>Run out of sauce and ingredients to make sauce.

OR

>Run out of cheese

or

>Run out of pepperoni


Don't let this come off as omg busy, The manager just doesn't order shit all the time

>>8728656
dot or feather? i knew a short american indian girl

>>8728075
spotted the third-worlder

>>8725570
>>8731456
Former server here (sorry guys)
Just to play devil's advocate here, when I served I always included allergies no matter what because 1.) no clue if you guys need to change gloves, switch mixing bowls for salads, wipe knives/ surfaces down etc. and 2.) I wanted to relieve all possible liability for myself any time i could possibly do so.

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>>8729858
>Write down numbers
>Expects higher cut that owner, operator, cooks and ingredients

Lol.

Once I ordered veal parmigiana and it was basically burnt, so I told my server, politely made my case, she called over the owner and the entree was replaced at no cost.

The restaurant would later become a biker bar then catch on fire.

>>8730754
I don't see you contributing, shiteater. So either post a good story or fuck off.

>>8728382
i love you

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>>8731219
>>8731262
I don't believe you.

>>8730695
>>8730658
>kids are inert accessories to adults' lives
You're half the reason evil exists in this world, anon.

>>8730588
>new greek restaurant
>order spaghetti

that is the real problem with this post

>>8729916
I'm not an anti-tipper or anything, but I've never really understood this. How is serving a steak and wine harder than serving a burger and soda?

>>8731951
It's stupid. Your waitress' pay shouldn't depend on whether or not you have room for dessert.
It makes sense to tip more for larger parties though, since it's tougher to coordinate when you have large groups of people without messing up and upsetting someone.

>>8731963
Literally no one fucks up food but teenagers working for minimum wage.
The order is literally written word for word on a piece of paper that you have unrestricted access to.

If you fuck up cooking something that is written on a piece of paper hanging from a string in front of you, you need to choose a different profession.

I tip 10% and no more, and I will ALWAYS choose takeout so I don't give you the pleasure of free money. Your employer is required to make your pay match minimum wage regardless. You literally lose nothing if I don't tip and yet you fuckers constantly cry about it on the mcchicken forum.
We don't like giving out free cash for you to put in your suck-up fanny pack you asshole.

>>8730754
Fuck off loser

>>8728059
>not stopping them

bet you're a spic too

>>8731985
>If you fuck up cooking
Waitstaff don't cook though
The idea is that when you have eight people at a table who all order different things, you need their appetizers and main courses to come out at roughly the same time, so some people aren't left waiting for several minutes while the rest of their party eats. You don't want food to come out cold, and so on. It takes a certain level of coordination. Front of house has to expedite, since they're the ones who actually see the diners and can adjust shit according to the actual current conditions. Of course you should tip more for a huge group than you would on a party of two since the demands on the server's time is larger, and they're giving up more attention to other tables.
>I will ALWAYS choose takeout so I don't give you the pleasure of free money
>HAHA guess what I found a crafty way to jew you out of money
If you get takeout, you're not BUYING service in the first place. You're not making a demand on servers' time or taking up a table. It's natural you wouldn't have to pay extra for service when you don't ask for any, you fucking idiot
>free cash
Ok just for that I'm going to "forget" to ask if you want fresh cracked pepper on your salad

Not a horror story, but just a funny one I guess.

Working my station, typical Thursday dinner rush, things are going well.

We get a veal tonnato dish back, as the customer is complaining that "the beef smells like fish".

The dish is dressed in a salad of anchovies, capers, parsley, tarragon, etc, and then has dried tuna shaved literally all over it.

Just a solid kek moment.

>>8726988
What is polenta.

>>8725431
>because no one knew aioli means mayo and would load up.
Have you tried writing menus in english?

>Had to start skewering bugers before sending em out
Everywhere that serves burgers thicker than an inch or with significant amounts of sauce should do that. Ate somewhere a while ago that didn't, and my burger literally fell apart in my hands, then slid out of my now-slippery fingers onto the plate. Sauce all over my hands, as well as all down my chin from trying to hold onto the burger and just ending up with sauce squirting out.

>>8725431
>Had to start skewering bugers before sending em out because no one knew aioli means mayo and would load up.
My god, you're a retard. You're a cook. You're supposed to apply your judgement and skill in composing a dish, even when the customer gets to choose the ingredients. You know what amount of sauce is appropriate on a burger. If someone asks for three different sauces you give them the same total amount, but of three different kinds.
You don't slop three times the amount of sauce on there, put on a shiteating grin and feel smug about how your patrons can't compose a dish.
This is why we can't have nice things.

God damn "cooks" like you get me riled up. And being a cook I have to work with assholes like you. Every fucking day. When will you just all die so we can start having nice things?

>>8731917
Not really, I mean, they had the balls to put it on the menu. He has every right to take a chance on it.

>>8729928
True dat

>>8731917
>putting a shitty dish on the menu is okay if it's done with the expectation that nobody will actually order it

>>8730802
Are you actually autistic or have aspergers? Just flag someone down thats 5 feet away from the counter and order your fucking food. The cashier didn't cease to fucking exist.

>>8731383
Boil off all the water then the spaghetti burns in the now dry pan

>>8727407
Went to the Panera in my suburb for the first time recently. I have never seen so many Prius' in one place before. Nearly every customer was a white woman.

Same thing with La Madeline...

>>8732377

Aioli and mayo are not the same thing, but saying "it's like mayo" is a good benchmark for someone who doesn't know.

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>>8731557
this some good shiet

>>8730659

Fair enough, anyone who isn't old enough to drink shouldn't be allowed in an upscale restaurant. I've never seen niglets in these places though, I don't eat at KFC or Popeye's.

>>8728898
Hey retard, kids don't appreciate fancy shit. Taking a kid to a nice restaurant is a gigantic waste of money. In before you sperg out saying you've seen kids appreciate a well cooked meal instead of a fucking hot dog or some tendies

>>8726234
sounds like personal finance issues

>>8726234
>>be me

>>>/reddit.com

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>>8730749
nice

>>8730695
Maybe you were just poorly raised?

>>8732047
Oh no, how will this man cope without his fresh cracked black pepper?

You sure showed him friend.

Stop being shit and work in a decent restaurant where service is included and upfront confirmed to go to the staff.

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>>8728034
>That girl in the bottom right

>>8731623
You don't need to be FOH to see this makes sense. No one is going to fondly remember the restaurant that they swelled up like a balloon at, a situation easily avoidable by chefs with the mentality of "uhhhh that doesn't go there, stupid servers brehehehe".

>work at a hotel one step above crackhouse
>same shitty continental breakfast all shitty hotels have
>have 1 carafe we keep milk in and 1 container for waffle mix
>super"efficient" storage situation that was thought up by deranged retarded 60 yr old man who was demoted from front desk manager
>we pour the milk from the carafe into a glass jug, we then store the carafe and the milk jug RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER in the fridge
>nobody else sees the absurdity in this
>pour waffle mix into a jug so it can sit in the fridge in a jug rather than just put the waffle mix container directly in the fridge
>on top of this they directly pour new waffle mix and milk onto old milk and waffle mix (since we only have 1 container)
>perpetual container of ever aging milk that perpetually rotates from carafe to glass jug
>nobody seemed to understand the basics of having 2 and rotating when one runs out

I've never worked with such stupid people before, The most mind boggling thing was I explained to the general manager what the problem was, and they agreed with me, but then never changed it because the old autistic retarded fuck couldn't wrap his head around the incredibly complicated system that involves 2 containers and rotating them.

If you stay at a shitty hotel only eat pre-packaged foods.

>>8732815
>Stop being shit and work in a decent restaurant where service is included and upfront confirmed to go to the staff.

All of the places that have that policy are slowly shutting down in my city. It's a stupid idea otherwise, if you are going out to eat it's to avoid the cooking, cleaning, and time loss of it all. A meal out should be an activity, not stuffing your rolls and folds, so good service is exactly that anon, a service, and there will always be better service in a better restaurant that deserves better compensation.

>>8732853
>Just grabbing her dick on the cover of Time

Used to work for the catering company in my university. So we were responsible for feeding people living in res, meal plans, or people who just wanted to come into the cafeteria. Students were the fucking worst. At the time I was not a student, I took a year off to try cooking. Here's a couple stories:

>retarded piece of shit co-worker
>purposefully serves raw chicken to people he think "slights" him in ridiculous made up, psycho ways
>get him fired for being a scumbag
>he got a new job at my favorite pizza place, had to stop getting pizza from there

>students complained about how "processed" and "artificial" our food was
>instead of having whatever we made fresh for the day they would opt to eat a frozen burger or some tendies while complaining

Ever fucking day. That drove me crazy. I wanted to drag them down to the fucking kitchen and show them all the fucking fresh food. Like what the fuck do you think we need so many cooks for if it's all pre-made, re-heated garbage?

A feel good story:

>Sundae bar time
>I am the chosen one
>lots of qt3.14's come to get sundaes
>I start getting into it, actually having fun, get a little confident and flirty
>start asking people if they want me to draw anything on their sundae with the toppings
>dicks, vaginas, other immature dumb shit
>some super qt asks me draw the eiffell tower
>I draw it and flirt with her a little
>closest I've gotten to a female in over a decade now

Not a horror story but a huge disappointment

>Talk up favorite place to friends for months and we all finally god out
>Ask for table outside due to nice weather
>Host rolls her eyes and says none are available even though there were
>Probably balancing the number of tables for the waitresses so we don't mind
>Wait 10 min before waiter shows up
>Start off with some water and beer
>Waiter keeps mixing up the beer and gets frustrated with us when we try to correct him
>Finally I point to it on the drink menu
>Waiter huffs, "I know what it is!" and then leaves
>15 min later still no drinks or have our food order taken despite waiter passing and looking at us multiple times
>Try to get his attention and after another 5-10 min he comes back to take our order and remind him of our drinks
>Another 5-10 min and still nothing
>Try to flag him down a 2nd time and a waitress stops by
>Explain that we've been waiting about 30 min or so just for the drinks
>She gets us water, checks with the bar, and bartender never got our drink order
>A different waitress drops off our food shortly after as our waiter continues to just pass us by
>About half way through meal waiter finally stops by to check on us and we ask about the beer
>He asks again what we wanted and it's a repeat situation from earlier
>Nearly done with food and finally get our drinks and it was the wrong beer

Place went down hill fast after that. Changing management and opening a 2nd location really changed things there.

what's wrong with a well done steak honestly?

>>8728034
>childfree life

What the hell's wrong with that?
Bunch of snot nosed little brats and filthy whores with more children than birthdays.

>>8733005
The biggest whores don't have children. You are free to die alone.

>>8733005
Come on anon, don't you want to sacrifice your own happiness for the greater good?

>>8731383
Just stick the spaghetti in a really hot pan of water and leave it there with the protruding part resting on hot metal.

>>8733046
>greater good?
you mean overpopulation?

>>8728544
Two unrelated people having a mental breakdown at the same time would seem like such an unlikely story if it wasn't for the location being america.

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>a few months ago, working at a shitty chain restaurant
>cleaning out the fryers
>emptying fryer oil and dumping it into the vat in the back
>turns out there was an opossum in the oil vat
>seer its fur off, skin and muscle is melting off the bone
>it somehow isn't dead yet
>jumps out and does a bee line strait to the dining room
>hundreds of people out there
>manager sees it and grabs a broom and beats it to death right before it ran into the dining room
>blood, guts and fur everywhere
>mfw the smell

>>8731777
am i having a stroke? icannot read the snickers image. nice lucky 7's man, head out to the casine later

>>8733005
My wife and I never had children as a choice and invariably friends with children say they envy our freedom and wish they hadn't had them. I've never met anyone who didn't regret ruining their life, financially and socially, by having a pack of worthless ungrateful brats.

>>8733158
>Tfw idiocracy will be reality

>>8733223
>will be
Wrong tense, my man.

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>>8733145

>>8725221
>Working at Kroger deli, couple years ago.
>Always get evening shift, always end up being the only one in the hot kitchen.
>Be around 5:30 one night.
>Start to shut off the fryers, hot kitchen closes at 7:00, and have plenty of fresh food on the warmers.
>See a guy coming over, so walk over to warmers to see what he wants
>"Can I have some chicken strips?"
>Don't have any, cause who the fuck gets chicken strips from the deli after lunch hours.
>Tell him I don't have any, but I can make some.
>Before I can tell him how long it'll take, he says:
>"Ok, I'll be back in 5 minutes, have them ready."
>Just leaves to some other part of the store.
>Luckily one of the fryers is still plenty warm, flip it back on and start cooking chicken strips at warp speed.
>Keep checking, waiting for guy to come back.
>He never comes back.
>Mfw I now have a whole batch of chicken strips that nobody is going to fucking want.

I bought a box during my break for dinner, just so the whole damn batch didn't go to waste.

>>8725556
I want to fuck your girlfriend while you watch anon

>>8728516
My dad works at a mine (not in the kitchen; in the mine itself), staying at the camp during his work week. From what I can remember, for him it's watching a bunch of grubby dudes eat heaping piles of crap off plates that 1/5 times have scum on them. His perspective would be limited, but if this thread is still up by the next time I see him (and I remember), I'll report back.

>>8725556
>She and I decided to hang out outside of work and go to get dinner. She kept telling me about this place downtown that sold “amazing hot dogs”. And as a hot dog lover, I agreed to go with her


She wanted your dog in her downtown. get the hint already

>>8725329
[[NO GLUTEN]]

>>8730300
They have their own name for it, if course it doesn't.

>>8732999
(You)

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>>8733145
>>manager sees it and grabs a broom and beats it to death right before it ran into the dining room
can't fucking breath

>>8725258
I would literally snap a kid's neck in front of the parent and drink the insides like Christopher Reeve if I wouldn't go to prison for it
Fuck children and even moreso fuck parents for letting their shit covered little rats scream and wander around in public. Especially in a restaurant when people are eating and don't want to see some stinky little fucking weasel two feet away from them covered in shit and food smears picking their nose and eating it before going back to running loose and bothering everyone

>>8733785
>at restaurant with friends
>appetizer has just arrived
>coincidentally Shanqueena the half nigger single mom, her mom, and her four kids from different dads also has just arrived

Fuck I want to gun them all down

>>8731411

I once got drunk with friends in this part of the city that is basically a "drunk quarantine." A million clubs, restaurants, bars, etc. all connected together in two-three closed-off streets.

I wandered into a TGI Friday's to take a shit and found two black guys fucking each other in the stall next to mine. I took a shit anyway and they didn't seem to care

>>8727923
what a depressing environment

>>8728562
ON AMERICAN*** KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

>>8733810
Was that Beale Street in Memphis? I could easily imagine that happening there.

>>8733810
Did you at least give a courtesy flush?

>>8725258
>Make life hard for parents
>People stop having kids
>Government brings migrants to make up for it
Have fun hiding from little mufasa and his bucket of acid

>>8730613
Not him and I don't know but I ended up with burnt couscous in Budapest

had them refund it and went to a fucking kfc

>>8733824
>*Fifty snap zooms to an egg being smashed on a pan from different angles*

>>8733158
So why not abort then?

>>8733849
Kek this isn't a thing
There literally isn't a single first world nation on the planet that wants more people. If anything most need a strong percentage removed to be a healthy nation due to overpopulation (here's looking at you, Asia)

>>8733892
GORDON IS IN OVER HIS HEAD AT A PIZZA/SUSHI FUSION BAR IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

>Close up of obese white owner red in the face and in tears
>Cutaway of Gordon sighing and rubbing his face
AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS ONCE GORDON PUSHES THE BIG MAN IN CHARGE OVER THE EDGE
>ye need to use a lil more olivoll on the pizza dough Tony is bland as all hell
>fat man throwing things around and swearing

>>8733944
nice logical argument but bleeding hearts care more about ungrateful immigrants than logic. we need a much stronger vetting process for imigrants, we need more immigrants like indians and pakis who start business and shit and less south american minimum wage monkeys living thirty to a house

>>8728261
Also if its orange it's obviously been cooked.

I've had a guest from the US ask me if her butterflied chickenbreast was a piece of fish

>>8729046
newsflash, other peoples comfort is less important than teaching your child manners and how to behave in a formal setting. if your child is a full-on terror you got a point, but how often is that the case really

>>8734192
your argument would be valid if todays parents actually y'know parented, but instead they just let their annoying little shitbag do what they want and meekly try to negotiate them into behaving

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>>8733145

>>8734192
>teach child manners

Do that at home, you selfish thing, no one wants to watch or listen to your precious beastly snowflake throw fits, cry, cackle maniacally, drool, run around, yell and ruin a special evening. Have some consideration. You are the only person on earth that thinks your brat's shit smells like perfume.

>>8734192
You don't need to be in public to teach a child table manners and general good behavior.

>>8730588
wow a greek restaurant that served gyropizza and spaghetti wasnt great? thats surprising

>>8729872
>"ID LIKE TO SEE YOUR MANAGER PLEASE"

Yeah, me too, my wages were short this week and I ain't seen the cunt in two months. Now fuck off.

>>8732920
If you are getting fresh ingredients and your food still tastes like shit it's your own fucking fault

>>8729046
>Benihana!"
>... said no kid, ever.
Fuck you, man. I loved me some Benihana even at age 10. Just because you raised a kid on chicken nuggers and tater tots doesn't mean the rest of the world doesn't have standards.

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>stop at an out-of-the-way Subway late on a weekday night
>there's nobody out front but I can hear a radio in back
>quietly wait about 5 minutes, curious as to how long it'll take for someone to come out
>hear what sounds like fap-fap-fap
>it gets louder FAP-FAP-FAP Ungggh YEAH
>start quietly backing out towards door
>20-something guy walks out in a t-shirt, putting his apron on, wiping his hands down the front
>"Welcome to Subway, what can I get started for you?"
>"I'd like a 6-inch turkey on wheat"

>>8730588
Had a pizza place near my old office. A group of us went there one day, and it took the guy in back an hour and a half to get our food out. Never went back, it was gone a few months later.

>>8733944
>Population reduces in first world Nation
>Percentage of old people goes from 25% to 50%
>The all want pensions but there are no young people dumping money into the system
>Everything goes to shit

>>8726589
i had pork katsu in a katsu place in kyoto station. was ok, was cool when they brought out grinders for us to make our own sauce. lot of foreigners there compared to the noodle shop next door.

>>8734328
this happened :)

>>8734328
Who the fuck jacks off in a place of work? Does nobody check the fucking cameras?

>>8734353
>>8734355
Given that it ends on a punchline, I am inclined to believe he was being facetious.

>>8733158
Does your wifes son live with you?

>>8728496
I once ordered a pizza with every available free sauce. It was from dominos so it had like 8 sauces on it. They made it and the delivery guy commented "there are some interesting pizzas in this order". I ate the whole thing, wasn't actually that bad.

>>8733944
>There literally isn't a single first world nation on the planet that wants more people.
Most populations don't. The politicians and the controlled media seem to love the idea, though.

See: Sweden, Germany, Hillary Clinton, and the Time magazine covers in this comment: >>8728034

>>8729046
>Benihana
>meat and rice with a sweet sauce and some mild veggies like carrots and zucchini
>served by guy doing utensil flip tricks and setting the onions on fire like a volcano
Benihana is for children, man. Order the kid a soda, and maybe they'll pick out the veggies they dislike if they're really picky, but they'll have a fucking blast

>>8725221
I posted a thread about it live while it was happening, but here's a summary:

> be unemployed
> be well-dressed middle age guy wearing expensive clothes that I bought while employed
> be at lunchtime pizza place
> they have free wifi
> I usually go there and stay until my laptop battery runs out, job hunting and shitposting on /ck/
> it's a superhighcapacity battery, so like three or four hours
> get muh pizza
> eat muh pizza
> bunch of people come in
> teenage mom with two kids
> two hamplanets with them, obviously hamgrandplanetoid and hamgreatgrandplanetoid
> they sit down halfway across the room
> are obviously glancing over at me a lot
> suddenly
> kids come skipping over and start playing in front of me
> teenmom walks over showing cleavage and herds them back to their table
> little while later
> kids gambol over again and play cutesily
> moar cleavageshow
> eventually give up and leave

Like, no, I do NOT want to become betacuck stepfather of two crotchfruit and end up chained to some chick who was going to hit 800lbs by her 30th birthday. Thanks for the offer, though.

>>8734313
>reading comprehension

>>8734355
>>8734358
It happened but I'm still hoping the noise was just dough being made. At least that's what I tell myself.

>>8730703
says the autist who has never spent any time around children

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>>8733145
>>turns out there was an opossum in the oil vat
>>seer its fur off, skin and muscle is melting off the bone
>>it somehow isn't dead yet
>>jumps out and does a bee line strait to the dining room
>>hundreds of people out there
>>manager sees it and grabs a broom and beats it to death right before it ran into the dining room
>>blood, guts and fur everywhere

>>8733158
Stop LARping. You know very well you don't have a wife or friends.

>>8734378
What part of the wife, meaning a human female, and I never had children do you not understand? It means both the subjects, wife and I, never had children.

Were you homes schooled by evangelicals? Is that why you can't read?

>>8734655
The "wife's son" is a well known bait and you just fell for it.

>>8733145

that's pretty fucking metal.

>korean "fusion" restaurant
>order $14 kimchi fries
>unsalted cheese fries with pico de gallo on them

I make bad decisions

>>8734762
Its the fucking name that got you m8. With a name like that, id probably order two.

>>8728382
>pay $8 transaction fee
>pay for meal
>puke it up like a sperg
>hurr hurr muh revenge was sho shweet

>>8734420

God, this has happened to me so many fucking times. Small-town America is awful.

>>8733109
america isn't overpopulated you fucking dickless pussy

>>8734762
How is this not false advertising?

>working in a fish and chip restaurant as a server
>this old woman has had haddock and chips
>ask how it all was as I clear the plates
>"it was nice but it wasn't haddock"
>the fucking tell tale haddock skin is there on the fucking plate
>"I can assure you madam it was"
>this old crone starts to go on about how she is from hull and knows her fish
>My family also happens to be from hull and there
Hasn't been deep sea fishing from there in fucking 60 years
>have to suppress the burning desire to tell her she is fucking retarded as she pays up.


>Some degenerate chav orders a crab salad
>realises he doesn't like crab
>tries to get out of paying by saying it was terrible

>vegetarian comes in and orders chips
>we fry in beef drippings lmao
>30 minutes later this guy is crying and wailing because he didn't bother asking what we fried in
>all the wait staff are desperately suppressing laughter over this grown man crying about beef drippings.

>>8734895
if he didn't mention being a vegetarian then SOL for him I guess?

How far are restaurants supposed to go to disclaim stuff? Peanut/Milk allergy potential? anything else?

>>8734895
as far as that first story goes

a fisher magnate from my area just got in a ton of trouble for purposely mislabeling their fish in order to get around environmental catch limits etc...

so she could be right even if you really did fish that was labeled "haddock"

>>8734936
It says on the menu what has allergy stuff in. The place even does gluten free batter for the fish and chips which looks like yellow nuclear waste but is apparently nice.

Being a veggie is a choice not alergy so you don't need to declare what had meat in and what doesn't he just paid the price for assuming we fried in oil.

We once had a veggie hipster come in and after learning that we fried in drippings asked us to drain a vat and fill it with oil to fry him a single batch of chips. These things are big enough to fry your average 8 year old in. How anyone could think that this is a normal suggestion is beyond me.

>>8726234
maybe she has mental issues
like, actual mental issues. not just being kinda dumb

>>8726234
prolly on drugs

>>8734991
Ugh just tell people what the fuck is in their food.
Why 3/4s of you faggots blatantly refuse to admit ingredients like they're the coke recipe is fucking beyond me.
Just tell people and stop being a fucking sociopath that enjoys watching people eat shit they didn't want to eat.
You have serious problems and you're probably under the delusion that you're normal, but you can't respect religious, dietary, allergy or taste concerns that people have and it's fucking rude.
Fix your shit, you're a real asshole.

>>8734957
It was 100% a Braddock. This woman didn't eat the skin and haddock skin is really easy to tell when you are seeing hundreds of them a week. Unless our fish dealer had been gluing haddock skins to the fillets it couldn't have been anything else.

>>8732047
Can I decide NOT to buy the Service then and just get my Food?

>>8725576
Did they ever realize they were retarded?

I can never get my head around American waiting staff. You have to go to REALLY high end places to get professionals. Even in what would be considered reasonable quality restaurants in Europe (which would normally be about my level) the wait staff either like cabaret performers or act like they're a member of your party. Can't fucking abide it and always end up paying over the odds in the States just to be served by someone who actually understands a waiter's role.

>>8735024
Are you baiting?

We don't refuse to admit anything if some one asks we tell them. The menu has a description of every fucking dish! The only thing it won't tell you is every single ingredient of a salad or that you fish will have parsley on top.

HE ORDERED FUCKING CHIPS AND A COKE

He literally came in ordered and ate. He said nothing about being a veggie until after he ate it all. We aren't psychic how are we supposed to know if he doesn't say anything?

>>8735024
Is this pasta?

>>8726234
That sounds more like a sad story than a horror story

>>8732620
>flag someone down
>at McDonalds
who's being autistic here?

>>8734420
Lol
Can't wait until I'm old enough to see all the cunts who gave me shit fat with two kids and having the state as the daddy
Meanwhile I'm going to keep focusing on college and I'm going to abuse the fuck out of the fact that my uncle has his own buisness and friends all over the tech field plus no kids so I get all the nepotism