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vegan dinner party

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I don't want to turn this into an all out shitshow on whether veganism is good or bad or retarded, but here's the deal: I'm 19 and not very skilled culinary-wise and hosting a "dinner party" for 3 other people including a vegan
How do I make something that is
>vegan
>hard to fuck up
>somewhat impressive
>not that time consuming or expensive
Also all my knives are dull as shit and I don't have that many good tools or anything. Only thing I have on my side is I can cook with gas and not an electric stovetop.
Can it be done? Help me out guys
>>
>>8717532
Cook pasta of choice

Put three/four cloves of garlic, Roma tomatoes, olives, and basil in a bowl. Marinate in some red wine vinegar and lots of olive oil for as long as possible. Crack pepper and salt. I like it with feta but you've got a vegan so good luck pal. Only thing you have to cook is pasta.

Toss over pasta and serve with warm bread.

Wa la.
>>
Cook something great, and a side dish of plain pasta for the vegan fag
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>>8717532
Make a real good salsa, the key is a shit ton of tomatoes and a good serving of ciliantro. I also add carrots and cucumbers to make the hot peppers not as hot
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>>8717538
>>8717548
Hardmode: forgot to mention the vegan is also a picky/disordered eater and doesn't like eating pasta. If worse comes to worst I'll probably just make pasta and she can deal with it but I'd like other suggestions too that aren't bread or pasta heavy
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>>8717571
AND one of the other guests is allergic to beans/legumes or some shit. Nevermind guys this was doomed from the start wasn't it
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>>8717577
I guess you really didn't think this through. Cooking for someone who's both a vegan AND a picky eater? Fuck that
>>
>>8717532
how bad of a cook are you and how much time+money do you want to invest in preparing?
>>
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>>8717532
Taco bar.
>Warm up a 30-pack of flour or corn tortillas in the oven or microwave and set them aside at the table in a wrapped kitchen towel

For non-vegans
>Brown some ground beef/pork with classic spices like chipotle powder/cayenne, cumin, garlic, salt/pepper in a pan bring it to the table maybe with a splash of soy sauce or Worchestershire
>Bowl of shredded Monterrey jack and Pepperjack cheese

For everyone
>Bowl of black and red beans (canned or dry cooked)
>Brown rice
>Chopped romaine lettuce
>Sliced cherry tomatoes
>Homemade pico de gallo (cilantro, red onion, peppers of your choice, tomatoes, lime juice)
>Chopped avocado/authentic guacamole
>Cashew sour-cream (google it)
>Kalamata olives
>Lime wedges
Also salsa/chips on the side

Set everything in the middle of the table family-style to pass around and you'll have a comfortable dining environment where nobody will feel left out

You can do the same thing with stir-fry, just use plain angel-hair spaghetti, vermicelli, or shirataki/soba noodles in lieu of Chinese egg noodles for the starch base and then go nuts with your veggie mix-ins such as bamboo shoots, snap peas, ginger, water chestnuts, radish, bok choy, caramelized mushrooms & onions, etc with some miso paste or soy sauce/mirin as the liquid flavoring

Then saute some thin strips of meat on the side and a bowl of scrambled eggs to add for everyone else.
>>
>>8717603
Pretty bad and very little but hit me with whatever you've got and I'll see if I can make it work

>>8717588
I am not a clever man.
>>
>>8717532

First things first, sharpen your knives, OP.

As for picky eaters, I'll go through some effort to cater to their pickiness, but I won't let it ruin mine or the other people's foods.

In your case I'd make sure that at least some of the dishes you serve are meat-free, but I wouldn't let the one vegan dictate the entire menu for everyone.

Also, is this a true vegan or will she eat fish, dairy, etc? I know that vegan should mean zero animal products but I've met several who call themselves vegan but will happily eat fish or cheese.
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>>8717607
This is actually a really good idea, thanks man
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>>8717622
She's 100% vegan
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>>8717619
i would just do a mushroom risotto if you are a bad cook desu, very easy and a nice meal if you use a variety of good mushrooms,
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>>8717628

Make some hamburgers. Beef patties for most of the guests. A portabello mushroom cap for the vegan. They are cooked the same way so there's no extra work for you as the cook.

Have a variety of toppings (lettuce, tomato, cheese, onion, pickles, etc.) pre-sliced so each person can assemble their own burger with their choice of toppings. Have a variety of sauces on the side too.

Triple-cooked fries are always a winner (and those are vegan friendly).

>>8717630
That's either non vegan, or it's going to suck if you leave out the meat-based stock.
>>
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>>8717532
Do some stuffed mushrooms.
Easy and lazy as hell, oven cooked.
You can stuff them with diced onions/ mushroom stems/peppers/corn and with either vegan cheese or a simple bechamel sauce made with non dairy milk.
>>
These are all really good suggestions guys. What about desserts? Usually I'd just do something like make brownies or have icecream but that's sort of out of the question, unless anyone knows any actually good vegan recipes I guess? All the vegan brownies/cakes I've ever had have been really dry. And just doing something like serving fruit doesn't seem good enough
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>>8717640
thats silly, you can pimp some veg broth with 2 teaspoons of gelatine and a teaspoon of miso for something just as savory.
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>>8717607
Brilliant!
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>>8717532
http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2014/07/17/chocolate-peanut-butter-buckeye-brownies/ there are a lot of really good vegan brownie recipes on this womans site. i've made like 4 different types of vegan brownies and they always come out delicious, i guess it's all that peanut butter and oil
>>
>>8717630
>>8717640
If you do a vegan mushroom risotto use miso paste and a home made veg stock to balance the lack of butter/parmesan.
>>
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>>8717690
coconut pastry cream
bought crashed vegan choco cookies
vegan whipping cream
maybe even some chocolate syrup
>>
>>8717690
a typical sorbet i do is lemon+zest+gin+cornsyrup+salt, you can do a sorbet out of any fruit. for desserts id probably look towards asia for the very easy vegan stuff, Chè Chuối or cornkernels with sugarcoating would be staples of mine, that combined with some asian fruit (persimmon,ananas,pomelo...) should be more than any vegan could expect
>>
>>8717714
>If you do a vegan mushroom risotto use miso paste and a home made veg stock to balance the lack of butter/parmesan.

That might have a nice flavor, but it's still going to suck because it lacks the TEXTURE you get from the gelatin in a meat-based stock.
>>
>>8717697
>2 teaspoons of gelatine

And where does that gelatine come from? Animals. Gelatin is not vegan.
>>
>>8717690
I've baked several vegan brownies/cupcakes/cakes following traditional recipes and they always come out delicious. Just replace butter with margerine, milk with soy milk, egg with mashed banana
>>
Make Italian greens and beans
Just use vegetable broth instead of animal broth

Simple as fuck
Plus it's so good that it probably be good enough as a meal for everyone including the omnis

Also check out the mjadra it's middle eastern dish of rice lentils and onions

It's a little harder but still damn good plus most people especially vegans love middle eastern food
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>>8717723

risotto texture doesn't come from gelatin but from the starch that the rice releases.
>>
>>8717725
there are many vegan substitutes for gelatine, also to be completely honest, i would probably still use gelatine even when cooking for a vegan.It might not be the most ethical thing to do but they will never find out so whatever
>>
>>8717690
Vegan ice cream is a cinch, just freeze some very ripe banana then blend them with flavorings you like (or even crushed candy)
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2012/06/vegan-banana-coconut-ice-cream.html

As >>8717726 said, almost all baked goods can be vegan-ized.
http://www.veganbaking.net/articles/tools/baking-substitutions
Eggs? Depending on how it's used: apple sauce or chia seed/flax seed + tbsp water
Milk? Non-dairy milk
Butter? Earth Balance Vegan Buttery Sticks (not the tub, must be stick form) or Coconut Oil

Make a fruit cobbler/tart or pecan pie.
Home-made Granola/Oatmeal, Peanut-butter, and Chocolate Bars:
http://minimalistbaker.com/peanut-butter-chocolate-chip-granola/


>>8717703
This also is a good suggestion

>>8717725
In this instance store-bought fruit pectin powder would work in the same way (typically it's found in the baking aisle as it's a common ingredient in making homemade jelly or preserves).
>>
>>8717737
The starch is certainly important, but you get a much better texture using meat-based stocks than you do with ones that lack gelatin. I've used both before and I think the meat-based stock generates a much better finished dish.
>>
>>8717742
>but they will never find out so whatever
What do you do when they ask what ingredients you used to get such a nice texture in your dish?
>>
>>8717577
>"I don't like pasta!"
>"I can't eat beans!"

Serve those cocksuckers ice cubes on toothpicks
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>>8717762
most vegans are not very freaky about cooking, maybe 1:1000 would even realize that something along the lines of gelatine was added, and if they asked id say i used a substitute like agaragar,vegan jello,pectin which you can also totally use for similar results if you can be bothered
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>>8717762
uhh.. carrageenan
>>
>>8717762

Lie to their face.
>>
>>8717532
i just had the perfect idea, buy frozen wonton wrappers and make a vegan+nonvegan filling.
Its probably the most fun dinnerparty i had with a large group, prepwork is minimal and everyone can get involved in folding the dumplings.

Filling: 500g pork/chopped rehydrated shiitake,2 springonions,dash of soy,dash of shaoxing wine, salt,sugar,2cloves garlic minced,some grated/minced ginger

once this is thrown together everybody can fold them together, then its just cooking in boiling water. Sear a teaspoon of the fillings before folding to check for seasoning.

easymode would be to just serve them with chinkiang vinegar+minced ginger(+soysauce) and a sidedish of salted cucumbers in sesameoil,chinkiang+soy+garlic
>>
>>8717571
Just make her a nice souffle. Everyone loves souffles.
>>
>>8717532
Me mum makes this Cauliflower couscous. It's basically blendered cauliflower with vegetables added. After blending and adding just bake it.
>>
Thanks for all the suggestions guys, this is honestly way more help than I expected. Maybe next week I'll do an OC thread when I cook everything - depending on how awkward that is if everyone asks why I'm taking pictures of the food
>>
>>8717762
>vegans can lie about fake meat
>normal people can't lie about fake vegetables

I'll stop lying about gelatin when agar stops costing twice as much for half as much.
>>
>>8717571
Just make the vegan some avocado toast and some white bean crostini with side salad. Easy as fuck, fast, and she'll get a balanced meal.
>>
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>>8717532
>>
>>8718987

BEBBER BENIS XDDD
>>
>>8718987
>>8718994
Good, thank you
>>
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>>8717532
>>
Mapo dofu is relatively straightforward, If you live near a Trader Joe's, their vegan chorizo is delicious and you can make kibbeh with that (fry onions until dark-gold, add chorizo, stir, serve on top of hummus)
>>
>>8719935
Haha I might end up going that route

>>8719998
Don't have Trader Joe's in Aus but that sounds really good. I'll try to suss out if we have anything like that here
>>
>>8720399
http://www.veganonline.com.au/refrigerated/mock-meats
This looks like a friendly brand.
>>
>>8717571
just give her a fucking steak the cows already dead
>>
>>8721926
>Everything else, including honey, is EXTREMELY noticeable.

Funny you mention that. I shall relate a personal story.

>out with friends, including one vegan. she claims she's not vegan for moral reasons, but rather the "taste of meat makes her instantly sick".
>visit Chinese restaurant. I order for the table. I order some meat dishes but a few vegetable-only ones too so there's something that she can eat. One of those is the "vegetarian hot pot", which is vegetables, mushrooms, and tofu in a broth.
>she digs in. she can't get enough of it. says it was the most delicious thing ever. eats the whole thing before anyone else can even get a taste. orders a 2nd one.
>when the waiter brings the 2nd one she asks what's in it. waiter proceeds to list all the different veggies, the types of mushrooms, the tofu. she asks "what about the broth". Waiter answers: oh, made from chicken and pork.

>you should have seen the look on her face. she pushes the bowl away....er....I'm not really hungry anymore....

I'd like to point out that this was an honest mistake. I figured a dish marked "vegetarian" wouldn't contain a meat-based stock. But it made it perfectly clear that her claim of "the taste of meat making her instantly sick" was utter bullshit.
>>
>>8721950
Maybe instead of the taste, she meant the texture of muscle tissue?
>>
>>8717571
>the vegan is also a picky/disordered eater and doesn't like eating pasta
you don't invite these people to your house for dinner

you don't need to be a good host to people that are bad guests
>>
Cook steak, get handful of front lawn for vegan fag
>>
>>8722012

She was very clear that it was the taste. Perhaps you're right that she was unable to articulate the difference between taste and texture, but I doubt that. She was an honors student in college so it's not like she was some random vapid idiot. Not to mention that there is no single texture for muscle tissue--a slice of deli meat is very different from a piece of BBQ chicken or slowly stewed beef. And many mushroom and tofu dishes (which she did eat) have a very meat-like texture.
>>
>>8722124
>Meat doesn't really have a flavor though, that's usually entirely given by the seasoning or processing.

Lol, what? I'll give you that modern factory-farmed chicken and pork are largely flavorless, but that's because they're bred for maxium yeild and fast growth rather that focusing on flavor. But get yourself a chicken or pig raised the old-school way, or any sort of wild game, and the meat is extremely flavorful even without any seasoning or searing.

>>I've never had broth
Then why are you talking about it? Broth tastes strongly of the type of meat it's made from. That's the whole fucking point of it--to add flavor to the dish as opposed to using plain water.
>>
>building the entire meal of the evening around one faggot's taste thereby making everyone else suffer

This is why veganfags need to be shot on sight.
>>
Butcher the vegan and feed your other two guests with her meat.

There, I solved your problem.

But in all honesty, Make tofu tom kha for everyone. Simple, easy, everybody is happy. Plus it makes you look cultured and if you play your cards right, you'll be up to your eyeballs in unwashed vegan snatch.

http://www.athoughtforfood.net/blog/tom-kha-tofu-thai-coconut-soup
>>
>>8717571
just do this. it's rude to be a picky eater when you go to someone else's place. just steam/roast some veges, make a salad or something and if she complains she can just fucking starve to be honest.
>>
>>8722208
You're missing the point, faggot. It isn't that vegan "food" can't be enjoyed by non-vegans. It's that OP is making an entire dinner based soley on some vegan snob's opinion when in all reality he should ban the vegan and make an actual dinner.
>>
>>8722236
>why not make it all vegan

Why would I want to arbitrarily limit what I would serve to non-vegans?
>>
>>8722236
see
>>8722243

You're just not getting it. I suggest you look up how to be a good houseguest and have manners when you're the only person who is a vegan in an event. Realize you're outnumbered, and either suck it up and eat meat for one day or just don't go. Veganfags are so fucking obnoxious goddamn.
>>
>>8722253

Because that extra work and expense makes the meal more enjoyable to myself and my guests.

If someone wants to restrict their own diet for some silly reason that's fine. And I'm willing to expend some extra work to accommodate them. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let their silly preferences harm mine and everyone else's dining experience.
>>
make a ratatouille and a pasta dish
>>
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>>8722256
holy shit do you have some kind of serious cognitive disorder? because that is the only explanation for this post.
>>
>>8717532
>vegan dinner party

We have in laws who are basically unbearable in their self absorption.

Talk non stop about how much vegetarian food makes their lives 200% better than your life.

Whenever we go over for dinner, I always put ground eat in their "meatless" food substitute dishes, and they just eat it up while fellating themselves about how healthy they are.

Small victories make the world go round senpai...
>>
>>8722327
>No it doesn't, there's plenty of vegan dishes people eat and love on a regular basis

Most of those dishes you mentioned are either a side-dish that need something more substantial to go with them, or they would be greatly improved with the addition of meat.

Falafel? Very tasty. Even better if you fry them in lard or duck fat. Not a meal on their own.

Channa masala. Delicious. But likewise, a side dish, not enough for a "meal".

Spaghetti? Greatly improved with a meat sauce rather than a veggie-only sauce. At the very least get some anchovy paste in there.

Beans and rice? Lol, that's one of my specialties. It's night-and-day better cooked on a ham bone, ham hock and/or with a meat-based stock.

And so on.
>>
>>8722376
>unbearable in their self absorption.
>Talk non stop about how much vegetarian food makes their lives 200% better than your life.

I wonder if vegetarians have any self awareness about how tedious they are?
>>
>>8722379
>Channa masala

that should be cooked with ghee, not some silly vegetable oil substitute
>>
>>8722425

1) I'm German.

2) I'm not the one who is fucking up tradition by taking the ham bone out of beans and rice, or the ghee out of channa masala
>>
>>8722482
>American red-beans and rice recipe.

You might not give a fuck, but that recipe beats the fuck out of every other I've tried.

The south was onto something there. And yeah, the tradition came over with the African slaves the Americans had. Lots of great history there.

Check out the episode of "Mind of a Chef" when Sean Brock visits Senegal. Very eye-opening.
>>
>>8717532
serve steak
>>
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>>8722548

>Sub-Saharan Africa
>rice cultivation
>agriculture at all

Uhhhhhh lol, no.

Rice only went as far as the silk road went. The Moors introduced rice to Europe in the 9th century in Muslim Spain. The only rice blacks eat or ate are redcross donations.
>>
>>8717532
Indian curry! Do like an eggplant or chickpea curry. Make sure that if you use curry paste that it doesn't have shrimps or fish sauce in it. Another really fun one is Palak Paneer (aka spinach and paneer curry). Just sub the paneer with tofu as paneer is a cheese, but it's super tasty.
>>
>>8717532
>not that hard
>not that time consuming
>no good tools needed
>impressive

Make a salad.

OK, OK.

How about...

Salad with mixed greens, whatever veggies, and Italian dressing.

Good crusty bread (a French Baguette usually works) sliced up with balsamic vinegar and olive oil for dipping.

Vegan risotto - use coconut oil for fat and vegetable or mushroom broth for the liquid. Arborio rice - it's not as difficult as it seems and it doesn't sound like you need it to be perfect. Add onion or shallot, garlic, corn, mushrooms - whatever you want. A little coconut cream if you want it rich and creamy.

Garlic, salt, pepper, and whatever herbs you might know how to use on some roasted squash (zucchini and yellow squash), carrots, maybe even some sliced eggplant.

Coconut milk ice cream for dessert - maybe with a little fruit or fruit syrup - you could even make it yourself by mashing up fruit and adding some sugar. Make a simple syrup out of water and sugar (don't let it cook too far or you will get candy) and mix that in.
>>
>>8717607
Very good idea!
>>
>>8717761
Fair enough but he's also working on a budget for a picky eater. if she can't take a simple risotto because the texture isn't perfect then she needs to rethink her life.
>>
>>8717808
This is actually pretty brilliant too, although I could see it getting really messy. Wonton and lumpia wrappers are obnoxious and complicated if you aren't good with your hands.
>>
>>8723250
West Africa has cultivated several different kinds of rice for 2-3 thousand years. Have you seriously never heard the term "rice coast"?
>>
>>8717532
Maybe you should stop being friends with this person
>>
>>8717532
Does the vegan eat tofu?
>>
>>8724323
It's my sister

>>8724396
Yes
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