Poached eggs

Don't be mad just cause you fuck them up everytime.

>ugly
Take that back you shit. Poached eggs are beautiful

>>8688338
this

>>8688328
Eggs without grease.

>>8688328
>ugly

Mate, that looks like a food vagina. Poached Eggs ftw.

A poached egg is an egg at it's best.

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My poached egg odyssey:

>everyone always bitches and complains about how hard poached eggs are to make and how messy they are so never bother to try it
>buy some silicone bowl deals that float in the water to "poach" eggs in because they are "so much easier!"
>take fucking forever
>eggs get stuck to them
>apparently have to oil them first
>eggs are now slimy and gross
>"wow, poached eggs suck" - my stupid brain
>finally try poaching an egg the "old fashioned way"
>crack egg in bowl, stir softly boiling water into a whirlpool, gently pour egg into center of it, wait 3 fucking minutes
>turns out fucking perfect first time, and every time after

What the fuck? Poached eggs are easy as fucking shit!

Why are people always fucking physically and mentally handicapped retards and why do I keep listening to their opinions?

I hate everyone.

>>8688417
Yeah I was surprised at how easy they were to make. Along with some sautéed spinach and a bit of toast, it's a great breakfast that doesn't make me feel like shit.

>>8688417
You don't even need to do the whirlpool bit. Poached eggs seemed to be surrounded with more bullshit superstition than pretty muich any other dish. How 'clean' your product is/ how much extraneous whisp there'll be is 100% tied to how fresh your egg is. A properly fresh egg can just be dropped into simmering water and come out perfectly. There's nothing else to it.

>>8688452
I get my eggs from a local farm collective deal and they still have a few wisps.. I dont think it's worth keeping a coop of chickens in my closet to avoid that.

>>8688388
neither do soft boiled eggs

>>8688500
True, but I like the consistency it gives similar to a fried egg.

Also much easier for me to get runny yolk on a poached egg.

if you can't get fresh eggs crack them into a tea strainer before you put them into the water.

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>>8688328
>>8688328
Poachers are the egg masterrace. Here is a rundown on the forms
Scrambled; most versatile, can be seasoned with ease and work well with most breakfasts
Boiled; easiest, hard boiled are nice for salads qnd the like, whereas soft boiled are nice for dipping but essentially second rate poachers (honorary sidenote for paneed eggs)
Fried are good but require specific equipment to get great, work well as part of a layered dish
Poachers are wonderful; when done right, the springy white teardrop breaks gently to release slowly flowing yolk, and works phenomenally with the traditional breakfast dishes (benedict, florentine, royale)

As for OP, try using fresh eggs and white wine vinegar (lots), straining the loose whites off through a fine sieve, starting at a rolling boil, and creating an even vortex in your pot before opening your egg just over the centre

Best of luck.

>>8688340
If you're gay, maybe. They literally look like a scrotum.