So i just failed horribly at beer batter and deep frying a candy bar.
what are some horrible food fails on your part /ck/?
https://youtu.be/XqHLd6qrZRo
>>8564794
The first thing you failed at was deciding to deep fry a candy bar. You know this, right?
>>8564799
yes. i am aware.
>making grilled cheese
>Buttery crust sticks to pan
>making pasta
>the lid falls off
>>8564794
refrigerate or partially freeze your candy bars before frying.
I swear I only make these once a year for the super bowl party. no bully.
>trying to make chili
>accidentaly make stew
I'm not just blowing smoke here, but I'm a great cook. I can cook fucking anything, and it will usually come out perfect. I engineer my own recipes and give or sell them to people and restaurants. I can bake cakes, cookies, and pies like a champ (and am a champ as well, I have a case full of trophies and ribbons from cooking competitions). I'm well known in my community as great cook.
THAT SAID - I'm shit at confectionery. I can't make candy. There's only two kinds of candy I've ever been able to perfect, pecan pralines, and toffee, which are both pretty easy (but I do make them very well). I can't even make fudge. Every attempt at something as simple as fudge turns into a disaster. Nougat? NO. Hard candies? No. It borders on ridiculous. It's shameful how terrible I am at it.
>>8565061
incoming shitstorm. You just oversold yourself champ.
>>8564794
I think my worst fails were all around breading when I first started frying. It took awhile to discover what type of breading works best for each thing I might fry.
Actually the worst breading fails were when I started trying to bake instead of fry and get similar textures.
>>8564794
>boiling water
>add salt because i was always told to
>remember i was boiling water for tea
>>8564794
>So i just failed horribly at deep frying a candy bar.
That's not a failure, anon. You might as well say you failed to get it up looking at cheese pizza. You did good anon, you did good.
>>8565072
Bah....There's no overselling. It's called knowing what you're good at, and what you aren't. I freely admitted that I can't make things (candy) that even amateur cooks can make. I know my limits, so there's no reason for an "incoming shitstorm".
>marinated chicken in a plastic bag
>when adding the chicken to the pan, the bag touches the pan, the some of the plastic melts
>discarded the chicken because I didn't want to eat melted plastic
>>8565083
>add salt because I was always told to
Lot of cases where you shouldn't be adding salt, actually.
This really only holds true for pasta as far as I know.
You don't add salt to rice, and you don't add salt if you're poaching eggs.
>>8565085
t-thank you senpai
>>8565092
man the fuck up
>>8565085
>you failed to get it up looking at cheese pizza
Not regularly jerking off to cheese pizza - what are you even doing here?
>>8564794
>deep frying a candy bar
Just throw your head in the fryer while you're at it, you're beyond the point of saving.
>>8564794
Next time try the favorite southern white trash fair food - deep fried butter. You won't regret it!
>Trying to cut carrots
>Cut off tip of middle finger
>>8564794
That picture looks like an oyster with a peanutbutter sauce on it.
>wouldTry.pb&j
I was going away on a trip and had to eat a bunch of potatos that had been cooked 2 ays earlier so they didnt go to waste. I also had some other stuff i needed to use up.
I ended up trying to make a "mexican style" poutine eith jalepno peppers, sour cream, along with other veggies i needed to eat up.
So it was potatoes and cheese and gravy then topped with a bunch of other shit to make it "mexican".
It was a disgusting high calorie watery mess.
I took a picture to post in food gore threads but never got around to it. So here you go.
>>8565736
>and gravy
That's the part that ruined it.
>>8565740
Ive had something like it before at one of those meme poutine shops and it was pretty good. I think my gravy needed to be thicker though.
>>8565736
I'd eat, because fuck it.
I was drunk at my friend's house and tried to make nacho cheese sauce from scratch. Except he didn't have any milk.
I used almond milk. It was disgusting.
>>8565332
It's a cooking messageboard not your tormented childhood.
>>8565061
you sound like a total blowhard
>>8565905
The shit storm has arrived
>>8565905
>>8564794
I made the mistake of using vermicelli noodles in soup.
Turned to a sticky clay like sludge.
I never felt so defeated
>>8566440
how long did you leave them in heat?