What are some good meals for valentines day ?

Pussy

>>8556263
fuck off

>>8556260
Steak, ladies love a big piece of meat.

>>8556270
oh i'll fuck you off

>>8556260
rohypnol

extra thick hot sausage

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some of these Valentines deals at the restaurants look okay. would it be pathetic if i made a reservation for two and said she didn't show up?

>>8556290
Just seat your waifu pillow on the other chair and treat it like it's a real woman. No one will bother you because no one dares to fuck with crazy.

>>8556290
No anon, plenty of people go eat dinner by themselves on valentines day. I mean, everyone should have a nice meal before they kill themself

>>8556317
>>8556368
well one of the restaurants in particular I've been looking at has my friend serving and shes mad that she doesn't get time with her boyfriend so she's like "bring your date, anon! Why haven't i seen her yet?"

i lied about having a date because it seemed lame not having one 4 years in a row. my friend has been very insistent on me coming.

I'd hire a prostitute but how would i find a cute one, that's not a mouthbreather on such short notice? this is a sitcom situation

>>8556260
Chicken hearts sous vide in chilli and rosemary then panfried as a starter
Large rump steak so you can assert your domiahce and if it is brought up, tell them not to be silly.

>>8556383
Put and ad on Craigslist and hold auditions.
Video the hole thing.
If your life insists on being a sitcom you might as well get rich/famous from it.

>>8556260

I'm making coq a vin.

>>8556383
It's easy, just be your usual sadsack depressing self and tell your friend that she ditched you for a Chad.
She'll fall for it hook, line and sinker.

>>8556260
Just make some of these pancakes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu_xMut9xCA
Get strawberry sauce for extra cheesiness

>>8556260
What are those things called when you cut a hot dog into inch long pieces and then jam raw spaghetti into it and boil it?

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>>8556784
I don't want to know

>>8556784
"Soggy hotdogs and raw spaghetti"

Crawfish boil. Ribs. Wings. Ethiopian. Anything you gotta pull at with your hands is romantic.

>>8556290
I don't think it's pathetic, no. You may even get some free food out of pity from the staff. Then you get to go home knowing that you got the better end of the deal.

You'd could hire an escort. Hell, I'd even be upfront with her about it. An hour and a half for her time could get pricey though.

>>8556383
Just say you broke with her because she was crazy. Link related:
https://youtu.be/a_V4n2iP2AU

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>>8556784
>>8556791
>>8556809

>>8556842
From afar it looks like a blonde's hair with hairclips
I don't want to eat hairclips

>>8556784
It's called trailer gourmet.