al/ck/

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>not using the official al/ck/ cover image
Begone with the sacrilege, heathen

>>8551043
I was raised in one of the typical ways of an American in the late 80s early 90s where you were told by well off Boomer parents you could grow up to do whatever you want, you were pretty special etc.
I think one of the reasons I never socialized that well with girls was because I never had a sister or any siblings for that matter. I was an only son. I was never made to work, only go to school. I thought of getting summer jobs in late high school and my parents were like "Nah, you don't have to do that, you don't want to do that." I graduated highschool without ever having had a gf. There was a girl that I liked a lot but she was literally passed around by two of my best friends right in front of me.
I started to use alcohol at the beginning of college, but by the end of college when I graduated on top of failing to hook up with even just this one chick who was throwing herself at me for a long time, I just went full blown drunk after that. I'm not blaming anyone, I made all of my own choices, but that's just how my thing has gone in life so far.
There is text that was left out of this but I didn't copy my own post all the way when the thread was deleted from pol.

>>8551283
It doesn't always have to be used to be completely honest. Forgotten, it shouldn't be. But used every time? Nah, that doesn't always have to happen.

Day 4 of sobriety.
So far so good
I can have a drink at Day 7

>>8551299
>when the thread was deleted from pol.
What are you talking about? Back to your containment board.

2 weeks off booze.
Now addicted to lorazepam.
Only the drunk shall know peace from this hell.

>>8551322
You don't understand. I saw that there was a thread about how you should stop poisoning yourself on there, and I wanted to talk to them to see what they would say since I'd only talked about booze on r9k and ck before.

There was some kind of connection thing and I didn't copy my whole post properly which is a shame because it explained some other key points, but I'm drunk.

>>8551339
Get real help. i.e. not 4chan

>>8551320
It's not all or nothing then? I mean, if I have one drink one day, the next day I will have three, by the third day I'll typically be unconscious, marinating in a puddle of piss, blood and assorted whore effluvia in a jail cell.

>>8551341
I did, I checked into a detox for 4 days. It was a good detox because they gave me only 2 pills at the height of my withdrawals and nothing more. I spent most of the time there talking and "learning" with other people. I went back to drinking a month later.

>>8551339
/pol/ is full of young normies who think they are edgy LARPing as Jew hating Nazis. I woudn't recommend it as a place for evaluating your life.

>>8551352
Not for me at least.
When I get drunk, I'll have like half bottle of something and go to bed around when the brownouts start.

When I'm full on it, I'll do that one night then not the next. The problem is that even that "little" is hurting my life. I want to stop. Eventually.

>>8551358
I fucking know dude, I explained why I was there because there was a thread about this kind of stuff there and I wanted a new viewpoint. I've drank heavily for 9 years with the last 3 being alcohol. I've been to AA 3 times a week for 6 weeks, outpatient program, looked at a whole bunch of post necrotic livers on the internet, watched all the alcoholic docs I can. I just wanted to see what they would say to me.

>tfw trying not to drink tonight
It's only 9 o'clock and I'm so fucking bored. My headset is broke so I can't even vidja. I've been unemployed for a week because I fell for the Engineering meme and all the jobs here dried up, and I don't want to move away from my family. I'm really tempted to crack a beer.

>>8551395
This is my problem.
Eternal fucking boredom

I don't even want to play video games anymore. But I think I'm going to force myself to
It passes the time until I can sleep

> don't rinse out piss pot for seven months, just empty when full
> leave house for 20 minutes
> re-enter room
>eyes begin to water, throat begins to burn, seven months worth of rotting urine stench welds itself to every molecule of surface area in respiratory system
>Tsunami of pus-bloated, putrescent bladder batter fragrance gushes and thunders into every crevice of my soul
>projectile vomit all over carpet and furniture
>Ah, that smells even better
>chug as fuck
Come get it ladies.

>>8551385
Did they say you're a degenerate?

>>8551402
I'd thought I'd finally found the purpose and direction in life when my ex and I were constantly talking about everything to do with having children when we I was financially ready (she was going to homeschool), the house we were going to build, her garden, and everything. I'd quit drinking except lightly on weekends, and was actually trying to better myself, because I had something in the future to look forward to.

Now, she's the only woman I've ever been with, and I don't really look forward to anything anymore.

>>8551412
That'll pass
Everything gets fuzzy over time.

Everyone has bouts of oneitis

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>>8551415
n-no anon. It's not the same this time. we even named our kids and drew floorplans and everything ;_;

>>8551419
Yeah, so do lots of people
No one expects failure going into a relationship
It's always full of hope and dreams

bought some suicide supplies lads
hopefully this time i'll actually do it

>>8551419
What happened anon?

>>8551452
What did you buy?

>>8551525
pipes
gonna do a 12ga gun

Not drinking tonight. Took 1800mg of gabapentin. Feeling good.

>>8551411
No actually, they said things like
"You are the most important, you need to protect yourself so you can do well for others."
Or like a guy posted a pic of a necrotic liver and he said
"You deserve better."

>>8551593
Ultimately all those positive affirmations don't mean shit if you don't really want to make a change. You can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.
Besides you can't just stopped drinking when it's your sole means of entertainment and socializing. You kinda have to change alot because the drinking takes up alot of your life.

>>8551626
I know dude. I admitted that out of the 3 times I "tried" to stop I didn't really want to. You have to want it more than anything else you've ever wanted if you're a person like me I think.

>>8551666
Didn't want to come off as a prick. How bad is your drinking anyway?

>>8551671
No, you didn't come off as a prick at all. It's still pretty significant but not as bad as it was. I drink 6-7 beers a day or a bottle of wine. I used to wake up and drink vodka first thing to settle my shaking and my stomach. When it got that bad I went to detox and turned myself in. It was a good experience for me, I lived with and learned certain things from people who had a way harder time than me. It got me to cut back, but holy shit if complete abstinence doesn't seem like such a endeavor... Rest of my life? Can't imagine.

>>8551696
Oh yeah, since I've had my drinks tonight I'm forgetting to add details. I knew it was reaching a new stage after 6 years of drinking when I finally started to have psychic consequences from being dry for too long. Really weird brain feelings, leading to panic attacks later on, and in the worst instance almost like derealization during a hangover. It really is one of the most fucked up drugs. But you know people just have the thing that does the trick for them everywhere. I know I should stop but at least I'm not losing my mind without liquor anymore.

>>8551716
Maybe you should try therapy?

>>8551734
I see a psychiatrist currently have for actually 2 years through this whole bit, and I take a single SSRI. I don't want to take it but I almost felt like I was going insane without it 3 years ago drinking liquor constantly. I was crying and panicking almost all the time and always wanted to sleep.
I went to a psychologist before the psychiatrist and thought that just talking about your feelings and seeing lessons was absolute bullshit. Didn't help at all.
I mean I've cut back slightly but it's still fucked, I know.

>>8551734
Oh and also besides I mentioned I was in an outpatient group with people of all ages, about 15 or 20 people, and we all talked about things together and read books and talked with the head counseling people twice a week for like 3 hours, not a joke. I also went to AA 3 times a week for six weeks.
I just haven't managed to stay sober for more than a month in a row in quite some years. I don't expect a reply, it's like what can you even say to that you know.

>>8551759
I might stop replying in a bit because it's 6am and i need to sleep and I switched over to phoneposting.
One question though. What's your family/ friends situation rn?
It's true I don't really know how to reply to that bc you really have problems and really need serious help but I feel like you just want to vent atm.

Off topic a little but how can i get my doctor to give me adderal? Do they just give that shit to kids?

I would kill myself, but then I'd be sober.

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>>8551786
Das deep.

>>8551777
My parents love me unconditionally even though I have done things in the past to disrespect them both and seem like an ungrateful piece of shit. They are all I have though, they have given me everything. I've traveled all around the country and internationally with my mom, and she would be my best friend if it weren't for this guy I've known for 19 years straight and we were always there for each other. All my friends are out of state now but we still talk.
Also it helps me greatly to vent and it I get by with it greatly and am able to go on alone once I do it. That was pretty intuitive of you, have a good day today.

>>8551846
Thanks. I hope things will be better for you, anon.

>>8551860
My best wishes to you as well no matter what.

>>8551860
>>8551889
What a couple of fags. You going to kiss and rim each others assholes next?

i have an ultimate /alck/ thread i guesss
im sorrry

>>8551412
If it makes you feel better, she's probably getting fucked by some stranger right now.

>>8551419
You sound young.
Actually, you sound like someone who was dumped once and had their heart broken harder than anything they ever imagined possible in their relatively short life.

It does get fuzzy over time, as you accumulate life experience and/or let time wash your feelings away.

>>8551043
good afternoon
woke up this morning
bled all over sheets from cuts
planned to clean house but cleaning my room took an hour on its own as i was moving so slowly and listening to depressing music.
probably going to get fucked up again today/tonight
anyone else present on the thread atm? very lonely atm

>>8552898
hello anon
i also know those feels

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what should i mix this shit with to make it even slightly more drinkable?

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>>8553175
Sugar and ice cold water.
Or just water, it's not supposed to be drunk pure.

>>8553156
its a sad existence isnt it

>>8553341
yes
yet we keep doing it to ourselves

>>8551043
Hey I've got a question.
My hip has been killing me lately to move around in certain ways, (and no I didn't fall down or anything) and has been for days. It just won't go away. Is there any way this could even remotely be related to drinking?
I know that drinking a lot isn't good for general healing processes of things that need to heal, but any ideas beyond that?

>>8553690
>, but any ideas beyond that?

Yeah. Ask a doctor, not the trollfest that is 4chan.

>>8553697
I actually just read some articles off google.

should get on the filing down of those pipes
god willing

>>8553781
What are you talking about my dude.

>>8551559
>>8553800
day of the pipe soon

>>8551320
i'm on day 4 now myself. i'm having reaaally bad headaches all day, whats up with that? other than a bit of nausea i'm feeling okay i guess. i'm gonna do like you're doing except i'm going to drink on saturday which will be 6 days instead of 7.

the gods are not happy with me. i am afraid of things. i hope i can please them.

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>you will never be a local wolfgirl having a comfy sleep
;_;

Just discovered vodka and limeade send help

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I keep telling myself I'm not as hardcore as some of you guys here but tonight I consumed
>one liter of 13% red wine
>4 5% beers
>on my second whiskey right now
This is getting to be a habit and I'm luckily not experiencing adverse affects besides being unable to wake up before noon (doesn't interfere with my job btw). Hangovers are very rare. For the last two and a half years, 10 drinks a day were pretty common, but because of reading medical statistics I started using cannabis in an attempt to curb my drinking. That failed though, mainly because beer tastes absolutely delicious when high on pot. Shucks.

>>8553854
Yeah you got some withdrawal going on.
Headaches are the mildest symptom though

Alcohol withdrawal is the literally one of the worst you can have.
You will straight up die if your tolerance is too high.

too many days of binging steel reserve because I got sad over a girl

now I've got mild tremors
is this it, am I an alcuck now

>>8555950
>getting addicted due to beer
Wew lad
That's a lot of calories

how can I become an alcohol if I don't like the taste? What's something that will get wasted without it tasting terrible?
Suppositories aren't feasible.

>>8555964
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NAneMR1RTvw
Does nothing for me, my tolerance was at 2.1 L of vodka daily, but apparently gets most people drunk. Plus no calories. Oh and, and increased chance of death due to inability to vomit out excess alcohol should you overdo it. Enjoy.

>>8555971
Vodka has calories, mate

>>8555973
Not if you inhale it.

>>8555971
Thanks anon, will try.

>tfw withdrawing
haha

>read through thread
>see posts and realize I wrote them when I was hammered

>>8551406
>Piss pot
Jesus m8,.....

>>8556622
Classic al/ck/y feel.

>>8556607
lol pretty good dude

>>8556636
Seriously? You don't have a pot to piss in? What the fuck do you do, go to the toilet EVERY time you need to piss? Fuck that. I spent approximately 23 hours and 50 minutes in bed out of every 24-hour day. I'll get food delivered to the front door, I have a microwave next to my bed, I have a pot to piss in a bowl to shit in, window next to me with a drain below it, and the hosepipe plumbed in from my kitchen tap, next to the bed, for drinking water, washing and shit flushing purposes. Toothbrush, some toothpaste, phone and laptop, is all I need to survive. i've been in bed for over a year, it's actually a pretty chilled life aside from the horrific amounts of mounting debt.
Cheers all.

Fuck... I picked up the flu at a superbowl party and haven't had anything to drink since monday morning. I can't tell which problems are caused by the flu, and which are caused by withdrawal.

God I just had the worst sleep after a five day rager
Repeated sleep paralysis and at one point I felt my consciousness fading in a way that sorta hurt, like I was suffocating in my head and chest at once, made me think I was gonna die.

I need a drink...

>>8556840
>sleep paralysis

Fuck I get this too when I drink a lot. Drank about a fifth of vodka last night and it happened this morning. I was able to snap out of it pretty quick this time but that shit is horrible.

>tfw there's a good argument you're being wawtched
help

>>8551385
>I've drank heavily for 9 years with the last 3 being alcohol.
Huh?

I need to stop but I'm scared that I can't

I've managed to cut back on my drinking quite a bit (down to just a beer or two a day compared to the two pints of liquor I'd go through), and I've managed to do this for about three weeks now. Is it withdrawals, because now for the last week and a half I've been waking up at about 3:00 AM every single night, even though I go to bed no later than 11:00, and my last drink was more than an hour before bed. Anyone have any ideas?

hello everybody
how are you all?

>>8557179
drinking
im scared that im goign to comitted

>>8557179
Considering quitting and depressed over the fact that I won't.

>>8557139
What I meant by that was the last 3 years as a full blown alcoholic.

>>8557179
Just woke up and had two beers and am puffin on a shitty little vape stick. Pretty good.

>>8557190
I see
>>8557194
yes I have that often too
very depressed
>>8557215
is it flavoured? ive gone all day dry. pretty anxious desu

>Still getting tremors
Fuck fuck I thought I'd wake up and be fine today
This is terrible I quit I can't hang with you guys anymore

>>8557485
have a drink and theyll go away dude

>>8557270
No flavor to speak of. Cartridge says fruit but it doesn't really taste of anything very much.

>>8557570
I have them because I drank from Saturday into Wednesday morning though

>>8557582
Why do you cold turkey yourself so hard like this? Financial reasons?

>>8557601
I sense I'm on the precipice of fucking up my academic and social life if I continue
Being functional while drunk is suddenly becoming way harder than it used to be

they say alcoholism tend to be genetic. any of you degenerates have an addict in the family?

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>>8557622
mom grandpa aunts cousins desu...

>>8557622
Mom and grandpa were but quit, older cousin seems to be slightly more progressed than I am

>>8556840
>>8556846
Sleep with your eyes covered. Solved my sleep paralysis right there.

Damn those annoying shadow people, just let me sleep.

>>8557117
Have a drink, it's the DTs. What are you talking about?

>>8557215
Started vaping 2 weeks ago. Went from 30-40 cig/day to 0-1 without thinking about it. (Sober for a year, wouldn't have done that while drinking.)
I wish they had the same think with booze.

>>8557622
Both my parents had drinking problems, and some members of my family are addicts.

>>8551043
pretty smashed atm
hating myself

>>8557622
>>8557627
same
whole family are raging drinkers
feels like I never had a chance

crying with wine

What are some cheap vodka suggestions? I just want it super fucking cheap and at least bearable if i mix it with something

I need a break from malt liquor

>>8558505
Karkov, the best.

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>>8558505
Skol

thinking i should go buy beer or something
>just vomited
ah yes

Day 6 of sobriety has come to an end
First drink of the night.
Feels comfy man.

Trying to wean myself off a bit.
But tonight, I shall drink my fill.

Everything is better when drunk

>>8551043
>>8551335
Fuck benzos. Seriously get out now. There's something sinister in those fucking drugs. If I drink too much I'll just get really tired and sill stop drinking and pass out. Not benzos. You black out and then redose and wake up in horror not knowing where you are or what horrible suit you did. Woke up in my car once, couldn't get it to start while blacked out thank god. I would have died and probably hurt others

This faggot image on the OP is the most shameful I've seen in 9 years of 4chan.

This morning I woke up naked with no damage in the house and another bottle which means at some point I drove to get more.

Also I washed the dishes and left the water in the sink. Kinda weird, there was even that many there.

>>8559028
are you the guy who was trying for 7 days?

>>8559183
Jeez, man, you gotta get yourself a drunk-self that doesn't go out fucking driving
Condition that asshole

>>8559187
Yeppo

I don't consider it a failure
Day 6 just fits my schedule better

I had bad news yesterday but today I turned it to good news
I was determined to drink in either case. If it stayed bad, I really needed a fucking drink. If it was good, then I needed to celebrate

Now I can sit on the couch with a smile a drink and a movie.
Watching A Clockwork Orange again. Good shit

no damage kms
probably will end up hurting myself later but at least not irghtn now

>>8559203
Your drunk-self needs better training
Work on that

>>8559201
nice dude.
gonna take another 6 days after this or are you back to it?

>>8559230
Yeah-ish

I have booze in the house so it's harder to abstain
I'm going to try to stretch it far though.
At least over the weekend.

My goal isn't to quit, per se, just ease up a bit.

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>>8551406

I'm drunk y'all
First time in about a week

Man I've forgotten how great this is
I wish I could live like this forever
I'm listening to music now and I can just close my eyes and enjoy it Listening to every note
I can't do that when sober

When I'm sober, my thoughts are butting in at all times. Worries plans expectations
But now I can just close my eyes and BE in the moment

It's gonna be hard week till the next drink

>>8551564
I fucking love gabby

dropped out 80 credits in for no reason lol

>>8560240
our guy

>>8557622
nobody in my family is an addict, no drugs, no alcohol, hard-working... Fuck knows where it went wrong for me.

>tfw roommate says 'yeah you told me that yesterday' and you realize you must have told them while drunk and completely forgot and try to pass it off as dodgy memory but they know

Fem al/ck/ here. Likely pregnant. Fuck my life.

I hate abortion and bad choices, but am seriously considering if I'm 100% pregnant. I wouldn't want my child born into misery.

What should I do? If I am expecting, it'd be little more than a month along. What would you do, or want your wife to do?

Note that I do have the monetary assets for a child, even a surprise. I have just been on a binge of 6+ drinks as a 130lb individual for 3 months straight . I'm not stupid in that regard, I know alcohol hurts a baby.

>>8560310
Iktfb. I'm at The point though, where I no longer allow myself to be embarrassed by the things I do when I'm drunk. I know I'm gonna make an idiot out of myself multiple times a day, so I just force myself to shrug it off, then get drunk so I don't remember anyway.

>>8560332
both my room mates are long time friends and stoners so its sort of cool. still, i doubt they knew exactly how much i drink every day until i moved in.

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>>8560330
If I were a female and had a babby on board I think I'd keep it. It can't be much worse for the child to live with an alchie mother than to die, and who knows, a change that big in your life might bring about change in your drinking habits.
That being said, I think you should do what ever you instinctively feel is best. Big decision for sure.
In other news, I'm 15 days sober today, and last night I actually slept for more than half an hour. I honestly think I'm getting a grip on this fucking nightmare once and for all.

>>8560358
I was thinking more of birth defects and health issues from a first few weeks swimming in a sea of Polish vodka in my womb. That is my sole issue of desperation.

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I don't really think any outside things can stop a person from drinking. I've been to detox, inpatient rehab, jail, delrium tremens (probably the worst part no matter how selfish it may sound, just being honest) lost jobs, cars, girlfriends, and family life all directly due to alcohol. And yet, although those things have helped me to realize I should stop because it has done nothing good for my life, they can't make you stop. Its too easy to look at all the problems in your life, then turn back to drinking because it seems so innocent at first, and you forget all the pain and ruin it has caused you. Now whenever I feel like having a drink, I've made a rule to think hard and really deeply on what will happen if I do. Sure, I may get drunk and nothing will happen. Then I'll get drunk the next day and the next day and nothing will happen. But it's not like its getting me anywhere, and once actively drinking again it all leads to the same place.

>>8560378
Yeah it's got to be scary. An alchie friend of mine got pregnant on a slutty one-nighter, and because she'd been drinking so much before realising she was with babby, she spent the next two months downing vodka and punching herself repeatedly in the stomach. She got what she wanted, i.e babby was kil, but now she randomly has panic attacks and starts crying because of it, so to cope, she's now addicted to smack as well as booze.
Good luck though, I can't imagine what it must be like to fear that every time you get horny and fancy a fuck, you might have to endure a fucking human being threatening to crawl out of your crotch nine months later because of it.

>>8560407
After 23 years of vodka daily, this is finally really hitting home. I'm still telling myself the same things I've been telling myself for a quarter of a century, precisely the kind of things you just articulated, but at age 38, having tried detox, AA, counselling, psychiatrists, hypnosis, exercise, healthy lifestyle, falling in love, losing her because of booze, DTs, going to jail four times, being stabbed, being tortured, being homeless, becoming a heroin, crack, meth, benzo and opioid addict, losing my job, my health, my friends, my family, respect for myself, et cetera et fucking Cetera, with holes in my brain, my eyesight failing, my kidneys bleeding and my memory entering the realms of the legitimately demented, I realise that the only escape is to simply stop, it really is that or imminent death. I can't do that to my family, I've hurt them so much already that I've got to survive, even if only to avoid further upsetting them.

It might not be immediately apparent why this should help with alcoholism, but listen to it carefully, it helped me.
… Shame the guy died young due to alcoholism, that doesn't inspire masses of hope I spose, but he still makes some profound, insightful, epiphany-worthy observations on the nature of addiction, temptation and our inability to escape the tailor-made hell we perpetually impose on ourselves.
Even if we can't necessarily control it, perhaps we can at least better understand why we do this to ourselves.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wAGdinXZjSc

>>8560439
Yes, the addict must undergo physical and emotional pain beyond that which the normal citizen has ever experienced, but are left with absolutely nothing to show for it other then ruined mental and physical health, shameful stories to tell, and the underlying ever present urge to continue to drink or drug again. It's a thankful habit that disguises itself in reward and its a shame that so many good people fall victim to its clutches, but we are only humans and can think and try to rationalize ways to stop or "cut down" (which literally never works for the true addict) but truthfully the only way is to physically not pick up the drug or bottle with your hand. Once you are trying to rationalize drinking or using, you've already lost. When you can tell yourself you won't do it, you've won for the moment. If you don't drink then you won't drink. It sounds elementary as fuck, but its the truest statement there is in regards to addiction.

>>8560480
thankless habit. not thankful haha

gays wtf makes us so different? what possible evolutionary advantage is there to such a ridiculously hard to control predisposition to addiction and devotion to the point of self destruction?

>>8560589
>gays
*gais
Fucking autocorrect, lol.

>>8560589
probably addiction to fucking girls. once a caveman gets pussy, he'll addictively go after it again and again through any means necessary. he'll probably end up just raping them, but atleast his seed gets passed. kek i dont fucking know

Been sober over a month now. Starting to feel things again that I had forgotten was possible. Just stupid little things like genuine curiosity

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wat

>>8560668
>wat
wat

What's a good drink to mix with whiskey other than coke?

>>8560733
Coffee.

>>8560733
i found milk surprisingly nice when i had nothing else and didn't feel like drinking it straight as usual.

>>8560733
Equal parts bourbon or rye, sweet vermouth and compari make a boulevardier which has been a new favorite of mine lately. Stir and stain into a glass with a big ass cube of ice. Otherwise I like ginger ale.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT6u0bE6vTw
do you think people will finally get the fucking poitn when this is playing at my funeral???

>>8560378
Do some serious research. Talk to a pediatrician. Be completely honest (obviously). Light googling suggests that what you've describing isn't as rare as one might think, but do proper research so you can make the best decision for yourself and potential child.

help

>>8561061
I'm here for you anon

wonder if i shall be havign a seizure while i sleep

>>8561061
/thread

I used to take 3-6mg of xanax and drink at least 3/4 of a 1.75L vodka daily.

Had a seizure from cold turkey Withdraw and almost died.

Glad I only smoke weed now.

3 weeks sober tomorrow from about 20 drinks a day.

>>8561457
former Xanax user here and damn that's no joke, that's 3 bars a day. I quit like 5 years ago and I still remember the withdrawal, the nightmares where you would wake up and be convinced your nightmare was real, I never had a full blown seizure but it was hell on earth. I'm pretty sure it took 15-20 points off my IQ as well.

Going to the theater this afternoon. They have a bar there and you can take your drinks anywhere in the building. Wooo.

>>8561468
how were you feeling for those 3 weeks?

>>8561490
Yeah I didn't sleep for like 5 days straight. I would try to take ambien and I couldn't sleep anyways, smart detoxing me. The dreams were crazy insane but I wasnt really sleeping, I was still partly awake. I had legit hallucinations heard and saw people that weren't there by the 3rd day. I even called the cops to report shit that didnt actually happen. My memory of the time is a complete black hole though. I only remember small patches, which I guess is a blessing in some ways. So yeah roughly 14 months of my life I lived like that.

The drinking that much is obviously bad, which I'm sure lots of posters here drink that much, but the benzos puts things on a completely different level.

>>8551043
Do you guys drink because you like the taste or because you like getting drunk?

>>8562062
the whole point of drinking is to feel the effects

anyone who says otherwise is a lying faggot

>>8562075
I like the taste of beer, and I like the way vodka burns and stings my nasal passage when I exhale from my nose after downing some undiluted. It's not all about the intoxication. Only like, 99.9999% because of the intoxication.

>>8551043
>>8551043
going to AA tomorrow
just kill me now desu

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>weekend starts
>tell myself I wont stay drunk
>wake up
>vodka
>mfw

>>8562075
I agree, with the exception of cooking. Wine in particular does amazing things to food, but it isn't something I would drink if it didn't get me drunk. I suspect many of the people who claim to drink for the taste are simply unaware of how their brain associates that flavour with a dopamine hit.

All you pissheads need to take some LSD.

>>8562319
where do i get some

>>8562319
Hasn't helped honestly. I can drink like a fish when I'm frying. Any profound revelation I've had has been "Damn. I'm dying"

>>8562319
LSD help me to stay sober for all of one day.
It does help though, it makes all of your problems seem relatively trivial. It gets you out of the rut of your normal every day thinking, and the excuses/reasoning you normally use to justify perpetuating your shithog of a life. Worth a go, but Nowhere near enough to make me stop long term.

>>8562075
Beer snobs are the stupidest faggots in the world. You're not drinking this shit to taste subtle hops differences.

>>8562441
Snap snap snap

Have any of you ever died because of alcoholism? My heart stopped in hospital last month, had to be resuscitated. Got drunk as soon as I got home.

>>8562939
im gonna bet its just you dude

>>8562939
This is literally the go-to line that AA faggots will force on you in detox.

>'DURRR I DIED ONCE CAUSE MY HEART STOPPED TEMPORARILY'
Fuck you.

>>8562951
What?
I've only been to one AA meeting and I hated it...

>>8562960
I've recently been in detox, and at least two of the AA speakers that came in used this sob story. Sorry if it doesn't affect me much, when it's ridiculous to say you 'died once'.

>>8562966
I'm just using the language my doctor used, it's less abrasive than... that of some people with whom I've discussed this, anon.

>feel bad, get drunk to fight depression.
>feel good, get drunk to celebrate.
>feel average/inconsequential, get drunk to combat boredom.
Feelsbadman. Better get drunk.

i've been drinking a lot more than usual lately

i've never considered myself a full fledge alchy before but today i felt physically ill until i finished my first drink. now i feel fine.

>>8563202
one of us one of us

>>8561523
Easy so far.

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>Planned on drinking tonight.
>Dicked around until liquor store closed.
>Not drinking this weekend, I guess.

No worries here. The more alcohol I miss, the better. I come from a family of alcoholics, so I view my cravings as the start of something awful. My dad hasn't drank all year, here's to you drunk dad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EeV5ei2fpQ

>>8562939
>heart stopped
the fuck. what happened. did you have delirium tremens? describe please? i'm curious. also.. why would you get drunk after something as horrific as that?

this is the only thing keeping me sane right now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX_h3vczc7Q

>>8564146
strange, a few seconds and it was starting to drive me positively insane.

>>8564172
thats the whirlpool for ya

A girl may like me who is absurdly innocent and pure, like I cannot believe we shared so much time in the same country because of it, and I'm afraid to date her because I'm an alchy
This is giving me some serious feels and I'm not sure if drinking will help

512 days sober from serious alcoholism. was having seizures and horrible bleeding in my throat/stomach.

switched to IV heroin (my doctor said an upgrade health wise, opiates are pretty chill on the body)

went broke, got on methadone. was at 120mg, down to 10mg now. i fear once im totally tapered, i will drink again.

my anxiety is already coming back and im feeling the fucking itch. i already bought a six pack of beer and its sitting in the fridge calling for me.

>>8564220
Pour it out anon or you are already on the road
Or call a friend and ask him to take it

>>8564032
Near enough impossible to describe DTs, but yes I had hardcore delirium tremens. The hallucinations felt absolutely as real as real could be, it wasn't just visual, I could feel the hallucinations, I could smell them, I could hear them, there was no way to know what was real and what wasn't, I had to spend days questioning everything that happened to me, because I couldn't be sure it wasn't simply hallucination. There was no point asking people whether it happened or not, because I couldn't be sure that I was conscious and not hallucinating while asking the question. Now some time later and i'm still sorting out in my head, what actually happened and what was just hallucination. I had every DT symptom you care to mention, including seizures and insanely high blood pressure, coupled with near constant palpitations, difficulty breathing, fever, heart and chest pains… Et cetera et cetera. I'd have hour long conversations with people who weren't there. Fully awake, sat up in bed, I once had a conversation with a friend who died years and years ago. I could see him, he was 100% there as far as I was concerned. It took days for me to accept that it didn't actually happen. It was Just so vivid and real, And i was fully awake.
Mid-seizure one night, apparently my heart went batshit and decided to throw in the towel. I was in hospital, so I was resuscitated.
I drank when I got home because that's what the doctors advised me to do. They told me to "just keep on drinking".
Guess they think I'm a lost cause.
I'm now over two weeks sober and never want to drink again. Those doctors were convinced that I will die soon. Seeing it in their eyes brought about a new determination in me. I wish I'd never touched a single drop of the poisonous fucking nightmare fuel.

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we are what we are

>>8564243
just drank one lol

>>8564319
So it begins.
See you in six months.

>>8564339
nawh. theres plenty of times when ive randomly had a beer. i don't really subscribe to the complete sober abistnence shit

>>8564343
I'm like that too. I only drink when I'm horny and can't find a piece of ass. Getting drunk makes me dumb enough to order an escort. She will be here in about 20 minutes...

>>8564349
>>8564343
Psh, binge drinkers. Yet to cross that line into absolute devotion to the fatality fluids.

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>>8562290
>implying that liking the taste of nonalcoholic things isn't just your brain associating that flavor with a dopamine hit

wtf I'm 26 in 2 months

>>8564451
I know that feel. I'm 39 in a few months, I could swear I was 28 last week.

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Hello from England.
Looking for EU women to marry. I'm sick of this place.

>>8564570
>>>/soc/

was 2 weeks sober but i drank 750ml of jameson's last night haha woo im retarded

>>8564355
More like I worked through the shit that made me an alcoholic. I will always be an alcoholic, and it took years of therapy and shit, but I no longer try to drink away the pain and memories of what happened to me. Now I just get an bit drunk when I want a hooker. I still do incredibly stupid shit when I drink, so I keep it at a bare minimum.

>>8564979
What happened to you anon?

q&a:
shoudld i stab the left sude of my face
it currentlly has no scars and i feel that ut sgiydskedccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccm, tg5r

>>8565154
yes do it pussy

>>8564983
I was beaten up and ass raped by an older neighborhood kid when I was 7, and a few months later my friends moms greasy boyfriend blew me when I was at his house for a sleepover. I'm over it now, but it fucked me up for a long time. I wish I would have told someone back then...

I'm going to go drink with some friends in the evening. Already drank half a bottle of wine during the day (was leftover from yesterday). I don't know how I got here but meh.

I went 14 days sober, then I got super drunk two days ago. Day 2 and I really want to drink, but I have to walk a mile in the cold to the liquor store.

Should I drink today? I only have 300 dollars for the rest of the month because I bought a computer the other day. I'm a neet though. As long as I can buy cigarettes it will be okay.

>>8565510

Nah, just buy civilization 5 on steam or sth to keep yourself occupied.

>>8565516
I was just thinking about playing Civ 5. How did you know?

everything is bad

>>8551043
fuck you it took me 10 minutes to find the thread because of >>8551283


Currently drinking triple wood laphroaig, any islay scotch bros out here ?

good evening friends
I am being tested for cancer
pretty sad atm

>>8565715
do you not use the search function

>>8565788
nah, i usually scroll until i find the thread. i even checked archives before using the search thingy

what are >we drinking tonight

>>8565533

Because Civ 6 is too expensive for someone with $300 for the rest of the month. I dunno...

>>8565918
Probably buy a bottle of tequila later followed by whatever schlock beer they have at the club I'll be at in 10.5 hours. Then I'll take MDMA/MDA and stop drinking. Just kidding I'll be so high that paying exorbitant prices for decent liquor will seem completely logical.

>>8565918
6 pack of hard cider.

>>8565918
whisky and beer

who /daydrinkin/ here

>>8566278
*raises paw*

I got drunk and tried to kill myself. Now I'm being kicked out in two days with no where to go.

>>8566511
lol

>>8566511
How can you fail to kill yourself? Sure it wasn't just a case of standing drunkenly on top of a bridge crying, sending stupid text messages saying goodbye, before going home and eating tendies? We've all done it.

>>8566645
I went out into the middle of the woods while it was freezing cold and just laid there drinking. Something snapped in me and my survival instinct kicked in, but by that time I was half frozen. I ended up dragging myself at least 2 miles through the snow and woods with my hands and arms to the highway where a couple picked me up and brought me to the hospital.

It was probably one of the more terrifying things in my life.

>Drank a bottle of Jim Beam last night
>On my way to the liquor store to pick up a new one
That's a tad extreme but my normal intake is half a bottle a night.
I still work a job where I wake up at 7 everyday and sweat my ass off for 9 hours.
One of the best/ worst things I learned from my parents was that it's okay to get hammered every night as long as you don't call out of work like a pussy.

>>8566681
Jesus what a fucking retard. It's one thing to be an alkie but you've compounded it with being a total fucking moron.

>>8566964
I have a coworker like you. Just be aware that just because nobody says anything doesn't mean they don't notice.

>>8566964
Your parents sound like dumb white trash.

>>8566968
I'd been thinking about doing it for a long time, but I never said it was a good idea.

>>8566511
why you being kicked out?

>>8566970
I don't care if they notice, I've long since owned my alcoholism. I'm good at my job so fuck em.

>>8566972
My father owns his own brokerage firm and my mothers a lawyer. Dad did have a pretty white trash upbringing tho, I'll give you that.

>>8567010
The drinking.

>tfw four days dry

I've noticed my long term memory is going to shit so I'm gonna have to stop before I turn myself into a total vegetable.

about 4 months sober

went on a 5 day bender because i hated my job and my gf, and broke up with her

threatened suicide, was sent to the ER and then the psych ward and then outpatient rehab

i think im done for a long long while

tired of the extra calories, the shakes in the morning, the brain fog and the fucking controlled periods of drinking punctuated by batshit insane benders

ugh

i miss it of course too

>>8567055
2nd day sober here.

I've been making excuses and false start quitting for about a year.

I've also noticed my memory being impaired somewhat recently, it used to be spectacular.

Can the damage to memory and brain function be repaired?

Been generally depressed for months. Lying to my shrink about how much I'm drinking, debating coming clean about that. Just had a bad week mentally, made myself blackout when I got home two days in a row. I think I just need more friends, or something else to fill my time. Don't think it's too late to get my shit together.

>>8567375
Having a shrink and not being honest with them is a waste of time and money imo.

I have my doubts about psychiatry's effectiveness as it is but if you're not giving them honest information than they'll be hard pressed to give you honest and valuable advice and assessment.

>>8567403
Yeah, I realize. That's why I'm gonna stop hiding it.

>>8567094
>tired of the extra calories, the shakes in the morning, the brain fog and the fucking controlled periods of drinking punctuated by batshit insane benders
Arent we all?

>>8567375
>>8567403
>>8567422
Honestly the worst thing I think I've dealt with when seeing shrinks is telling them about my drinking.
Because then they focus solely, entirely, wholly on just the drinking.
No problem becomes related to anything else, every sadness, stress, problem, or failure is immediately because of your drinking rather than your drinking being a result of those.
I never tell my therapists about how much I actually drink because every single one of them hones into that being the problem rather than a treatment and nothing productive ever fucking happens

>>8567432
I can relate to this to a degree. I had a psychotic episode mixing speed, ecstasy at a rave and smoking weed after when I was already on Lexapro.

Psychiatrist focused completely on the effects of drugs and even lectured me on how the process impacts the brain. Waste of two sessions. If I wanted to see how drugs physically worked within the brain I'd study chemistry or read drug pamphlets. I wanted to talk about why I was taking drugs in the first place and how to get myself to a place where I didn't feel the need to take them.

How far is to far?

>>8567838
If you have to ask you should probably worry. It can get out of control quickly.

>>8557622
I don't have any non addicts in the family.
I'm basically the only one who's ever been more than a week sober in the last twenty years.
>when you have scars on your should from the one time somebody tried to neck you with a broken beer bottle for not going to sleep on time

>tfw withdrawals
think i may have had a seizure

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>>8568306
If you're having seizures you pretty much need to go and get some pro help. Not a nice thing to go through, Hospital wards are fucking disgusting places, the sight of disease makes me throw up repeatedly. even weeks or months after I've seen some of the shit in hospitals. last time I went into detox I ended up simply running away after three days in there, so repulsed was I that I decided I'd rather die than be in that place while in a state of hyper-awareness. I mean, really rather be dead. But maybe you've got more to live for. Having seizures unsupervised is generally not a great idea.
18 days sober for me. Managed to get through it in the relative comfort of my own bed. DTs have completely gone. No more hyper hallucinations, no more seizures, just such profound weakness that I can't stand up or walk without using crutches. At least I'm off the sauce.

>>8568369
shant be doing that
jews control the hospitals

Does baclofen, in addition to diminucing cravings, prevent withdrawals?

i'm never drinking again

>>8564358
>brain associates the flavor with a dopamine hit
right, because anon likes it. his likes aren't predetermined you nincompoop.

I have 7 hours of AA meetings to knock out before the 20th.

what times are the comfiest

did the ol vomit

>>8569454
how was it

>>8569456
pretty terrible
currently shaking quite bad and sweating

>making morning vegetable smoothie
>decide to add a a few whole beets
>pound a fifth later that day
>wake up the following morning to take a steaming liquor shit
>shit's blood red
>convince myself i'm going to die
>remember the beets

mall drinker here

sup lads

>>8569469
still sober?

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>>8569340

>>8569193
No, unfortunately. You have to take benzos for that, starting at a high dose and lower it before getting addicted to them, in a week or so.
Baclofen, you have to start slow and rise the dose over several weeks until effective enough.

I've been told NOT to stop baclofen suddenly however, it can give seizures too apparently.

>shaking so hard can barely use my muose
fuckq

>>8565771
i hope you'll be ok anon

>>8569466
kek

>>8564248
you're the best kind of shill, thank you

>>8565470
>Already drank half a bottle of wine during the day
dear god, you're going to die

>>8565470
You gotta lot of nerve posting here you lightweight ball gargler

>>8571189
Half a bottle of wine is nothing

i drank a beer

>>8571293
madman

Feeling like total shit now.
Normally I'm happy when I'm drunk

Just feeling like a waste now

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Just took this for /b/. You can has too.
Vodka, tendies, ice cream and filth. Feelin' the dream.

>>8571318
I'd kill myself if I had to live in a place with that floor

>>8571328
Yeah, it's bad. The carpet on the other side of the bed was so bad I just took a big kitchen knife and chopped the worst sections out. There's also mould everywhere and mushrooms under the bed. Haven't hoovered in 6 years.

how do i kill myself by drinking

long or short term, dosnt really matter at this point

i probably deserve the long term plan

>>8571422
No short term, unless you mean 10 years as short
You die painfully regardless

I've seen you post here a bunch, I reckon

Dude, you need to get a handle on yourself

>>8571425
i can't do it

the only motivation i might have had is long gone

i just want to go. funny because i want to stop hurting, but i also am afraid of the pain before the big sleep.

but there isn't any other way now. i can't deal with another 30-40 years of this. i'll go insane.

>>8571458
There's a line in Paradise Lost that helped me
Lucifer is cast out of heaven and landed in hell, chained to the eternal sea of molten fire.
He breaks free and looks out over his fellow fallen angels, all suffering immensely
He monologues for a bit and then says "The Mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell or a Hell of Heaven."

The Mind is its own place.
How you see the world is ultimately up to you. I found a measure of freedom in cooking, exercise, and appreciation of nature.
My life is still bad but I can live this.

You see what I'm getting at? You create your own happiness.
I'm a 30 year old failure. But I can find happiness is the small places.

>>8571488
i appreciate the effort, anon

>>8571515
We're all pulling for you, bud

Make some small memories for yourself
Small happy ones
I have one, it's about 5 years old now
I was pretty fucking depressed
I had a breakdown at college
That summer, I rented books from the library and read them under a tree

That breakdown ruined that channel of my possible life
But reading those books under that tree.
It made continuing worth it

You see what I'm saying? You can find solace in the shittiest places

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>>8551559
Why make a big mess?

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>>8571422

>>8571775
quick
not like i'll be aroudn to deal with it

How the hell did we get weed to be legalised guys? I don't wanna die because of corrupt politicians, and fucking ignorant reefer madness cunt members of the public. People are dying ffs.

spent most of the night vomiting, didn't manage to sleep a wink
good times

>>8572662
withdrawing?
poisoned?

>>8572777
yeah withdrawing

I'm hooked on Valium. Will alcohol finally end me?

>>8573009
I got addicted to both, I'm now three years into trying to get off them. Heroin was spectacularly easy compared with this.

NEET. Hiding drinking from my mother. Wait till noon when liquor store opens.

She comes home.

Fuck. I just want to drink.

After drinking 2 bottles of rye on the weekend I have avoided buying more liqour today. Just 2 more nights till thursday when I am forced to take a week off drinking for work.

>>8571293
jesus, i knew this thread was always pretty hardcore but

get your shit together man, get to the ER

shall be going to sleep sober for the first time in 2 weeks. promises to be a time.

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How do I fall asleep sober?

>>8574712
If you really can't sleep, take two benedrael.

>>8574717
but don't fight it, you got to be the one to let go. our you will never fall asleep.

>>8574717
>>8574722
Over the counter sleep medication doesn't work for me. Melatonin may as well be an placebo. I lie in bed for 8 hours and don't sleep.

>>8574726
It doesn't always work on me either. Sometimes repeating random crazy stuff in my head helps. lol

>>8574741
just like salad desil engine with waffles. I guess your brain goes well fuck it i'm going to sleep. lol

>>8574757
working on problems, the weather channel.

>>8574726

If you just quit drinking that problem will fix itself after a few days. Insomnia is a common symptom of alcohol withdrawal. Can confirm from personal experience.

Also, what I find makes for a really good night's sleep is to make sure you get a lot of physical activity during the day. Exercise. Go for a walk. Do yard work. Ride a bike. Go on a cleaning spree. Do *something* to get physically tired and you'll sleep much better.

>>8574757
kik sea jump on a lions calf. shit I'm about to fall asleep.

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>>8574800
car tires on rumple stilksen.

>>8574860
sautead fish sticks with a side of mark walbur. lol I'm in a coma.

19 days sober. Valentine's Day, drink largely because I lost her due to my drinking. This might not end well.

I'm 23 and sometimes when I'm hungover I feel amazing. I think the best I've ever felt was hungover after a night of extremely heavy drinking, I felt so full of energy and charisma that its what I imagine doing cocaine would feel like.

Anyone else ever have this feel?

Haven't drank since last Wednesday, today's the true test

>>8575904
no i usually throw up and have cold sweats

>>8575904
I felt this when I just started drinking, doesn't last if you do it regularly

>>8575904
Uh.
No.
More along the lines of waking up who knows where, making a long, miserable, depressed groaning noise until my lungs are completely void of air, coughing up multicoloured matter, facepalming at all the dopey shit I did last night, brushing away the broken glass from around me, swallowing a fist full of painkillers, downing a litre of water, moving to a non-piss-drenched section of the bed, covering my eyes with a pillow and laying there silent, motionless, groaning and depressed, then as soon as I feel like the vomiting has subsided, downing as much vodka as I think I can get away with. Then typically throwing it all up, moving to the final few dry inches of the bed and trying again. Repeat until tipsy, get drunk, pass out, piss bed, repeat ad infinitum.

>>8575904
Nah even as someone who doesn't get as bad of hangovers as the other posters replying (though I do get pretty sick sometimes) it's never good. At best it's managable and it feels nice to make it go away with weed/hair of the dog/greasy food.

>>8575928
The only difference seen since I first started drinking was my ability drink hard alcohol. When I started drinking I could drunk hard liquor (like spiced rum) like it was milk. Now I can only drink Vodka straight and have to chase it.

I know this is 4chan but I'm sure as hell not talking about this with my friends so here goes...

I basically see myself becoming an alcoholic in the future, and I'm starting to feel the pangs of it now. I've got a moderate family history of it. Before now I smoked cigs for like a year but I quit a few months ago and I'm not going back, so I actually do have a modicum of self-control.

Alcohol is harder though, it melts my social anxiety like nothing else. This month I started feeling the same small pangs of needing it that I'm now familiar with from cigarettes, and I've started to want to drink daily instead of weekly.

I'm not stupid, I'm prepared to actually keep my body in good shape despite my alcoholism by working out, eating healthy, fasting occasionally. and drinking water to keep hydrated when I do binge. I've also started sticking to hard liquor so I'm not just consuming empty calories.

QUESTION TIME: Should I turn back now while I still can? Can I minimize the effects of frequent binges, or am I just trying to bargain away the laws of biology?

-someone who wants to live long enough to upload my mind into the net and lurk forever

>>8576173
Turn back asap, this life is a nightmare

>>8576173
>fasting
If you're gonna go full alchie, youre likely to find yourself eating maybe once every two or three days. From an all night petrol station. As for drinking spirits being a good thing, taking on too many calories will be the least of your problems. Spirits will rain hellfire down on your life massively faster than softer stuff like beer or wine. Should you stop? You already know the answer to that. This is a serious, life changing, profoundly hellish experience which is exceptionally hard if not impossible to escape, once it has its talons sunk deep into your skull. Simply, It will likely ruin everything you have ever loved, Including your career, friendships, family life, health, sanity, criminal record, self-respect, life expectancy et al. If I were you I'd run like hell, it's really not a fun game.

>>8576188
>>8576179
Alright.... What are my options then? a few drinks, one day a week? A binge a month? I don't wanna provoke the beast too much, but I do wanna be able to account for my fuckups and plan accordingly.

Now that you say it, the itch started when I switched to straight whiskey. I could definitely deal with lighter drinks to ward off addiction, I tend to drink slower when I have those anyway

>>8576205
I think there's a big difference between heavy drinkers, binge drinkers and what AA would call "real alcoholics". If you're an alcoholic, alcohol comes before anything and everything else, even your own life. For the kind of person who AA would generally treat, abstinence truly is the only option. I for example can barely cope with the sight or smell of alcohol without ending up on a bender which lasts for months if not years. A couple of bottles of wine a day quickly escalate to the point of being 2 to 3 bottles of vodka, from the moment I wake until the moment I collapse. The vast majority of my life is either spent unconscious or blacked out. At age 38 and with a quarter of a century of horrendously excessive drinking behind me, If I were to drink today, I probably wouldn't stop again until I was 6 feet under. If you think you're at risk of becoming a fully blown alcoholic, then I can only urge you to stay the hell away from alcohol at all costs, it's absolutely not worth the risk.

>>8576228
Fuck. Ok. I guess it's back to trying weed every 6 months to see if I still hate it, and if the depression gets too bad I can always throw myself at psychedelics. I made myself promise to never commit suicide, in case one day in the far future I've figured this shit out
/blog

>>8576173
>I've also started sticking to hard liquor so I'm not just consuming empty calories.
right on, good old nutritious liquor

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>>8576173
>I'm prepared to actually keep my body in good shape despite my alcoholism by working out, eating healthy, fasting occasionally. and drinking water to keep hydrated when I do binge
how many times have i told myself this

think i may have peed a bit in my sleep last night